I quit social media cold turkey. I do allow TH-cam informational videos (no shorts). I noticed the resulted the next day. Going on day 7 I think. So far, it’s the best decision I’ve made in a long time.
Step 1: Implement a 30-day digital declutter by taking a break from optional personal technologies. Step 2: Actively experiment and self-reflect during the declutter period. Step 3: Apply zero-based budgeting to your technology use, starting with nothing and adding back what truly matters. Step 4: Establish rules and boundaries for technology use based on your values and needs.
I quit social media months ago, what i can say is that even when i cut it it took a long time to see the benefits of that in my life, the detox process take long time it's just like with every addiction. It's not just about healing addiction but reprogramming your brain to seek the things the really matter.
@@CIARUNSITE A lot of people don't consider TH-cam to be social media. It objectively is because you can communicate with other people on it --- but it's actually possible to use it productively, so people consider it different from the others.
The idea of zero based budgeting is how I lowered my screen time but I didn't know I was doing it. Having a name now makes it so much easier to talk about it with my friends who are still struggling! Thank you!
I have done well with reducing my screen time by keeping the phone out of sight! (Out of the office.) I allow myself to look at the phone after lunch for 10 mins and then a little after dinner. Deleted all the social media apps off my phone and use the apps only on my laptop when posting content for personal brand! Life Changing! Curious how you guys are keeping the phone at bay.
I realised that only extreme steps work for me, hence I deleted all my social media accounts permanently last year. Did the 30day declutter as Cal suggested and immediately realised I don't need to have an online presence. I don't have any personal brands, nor I sell anything. I'm just a coder. Although the only drawback is i have totally lost contact with distant friends. I only have 2-3 friends now that I make calls to. But I've made peace with this reality too.
I think parenting up until recently has been one step above raising cows and chickens in terms of responsibilities. For most people. Like, make sure they’re fed and sheltered and IF they happen to learn something from you by happenstance along the way, great.
I have an 8 year old boy with autism and he tends to make the biggest tantrums when I turned off the tv (they have issues regulating their emotions), so I decided to just play the music instead because he loves singing. Things are a lot better now 😅
5 minutes into the Jamie discussion, I was considering moving on to another thing, but trusting that there was probably value to be found in the final 20 minutes of a Cal podcast yielded fruit. Jamie's example gave me some ideas to try out and reinforced some stuff I knew.
For me the hardest part of quitting social media is that many of these sites keep you latched on with a 30 day rule, where they schedule the deletion to a month after you make the choice. You then have 30 days to regret and think about what you could be missing. It's gross and unethical
Question / Suggestion to the Cal Newport team. I, like many from your audience, listen to this podcast on an audio platform. I personally use Spotify when I'm driving to and back from work. There are times when I'm interested in something and want to come back and watch a specific section on TH-cam to cement the concept visually. Unfortunately, I always have a hard time finding the corresponding Spotify podcast on TH-cam. The podcasts don't have the same name of Episode Number for me to identify the correct podcast on TH-cam. I usually have to turn off my TH-cam blocker, browse from Cal's podcast videos and find something closest to the topic I remember hearing about. Is there an easier way for me to do this. If not, I would suggest having some traceability across platforms that you host podcasts in. Thanks for doing these podcasts, I gain a lot of value from this.
This was so helpful. I'm going to try it. Thank you. To recap: 30 days with no optional personal technologies (remove from phone, avoid on desktop). Experiment with things you've always wanted to do during this time. When the 30-day period is winding down, apply zero-based budgeting meaning start with what's most important to you (creativity, information, etc) and re-introduce the most fundamental. Follow the rules of engagement going forward.
This one is gonna be really good. So keen to listen. Thanks. I already removed social media from my phone and removed all my passwords and made it hard to login. But sometimes I get tempted and download it and check what’s happening and make a status to show people I’m doing well in life, like they care. I’m so keen to just not have it at all all the time and really be more than what I could be.
An important thing to realise with keeping in touch with the world is that Mainstream media (MSM) is really enough. Of course, TH-camrs try and say MSM is a load of garbage and biased, and you should get all your info from their videos instead... but they're way worse with everything they accuse MSM of, and you can consume news mindfully by deliberately getting it from a range of sources and actually reading the article instead of the title which is deliberately designed to be emotive and attention-grabbing. The only thing on social media I use for news anymore is positive news channels, because unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a mainstream focus on positivity. Good News and Sam Bentley are my go-to's. Also, deliberately search up science news! So many people think they're well-informed, but they know _nothing_ about advancements in the science world!
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:15 📱 Cal Newport discusses an article about someone who traded their smartphone for an ax to cure their tech addiction. 01:37 🌳 The article's subject, Caleb, felt like a "shell" of himself due to screen addiction and sought a radical change by going to a forest school. 02:31 🌲 Caleb attends Midland School in the Los Padres National Forest, where technology is forbidden, and finds liberation. 05:00 ⚠️ Newport warns that extreme stories like Caleb's can make people feel that only radical measures will cure tech addiction. 06:22 🛠️ Newport outlines a four-step process for a more pragmatic approach to reducing tech dependency without radical life changes. 07:02 🗓️ Step one involves a 30-day digital declutter, where you take a break from optional personal technologies. 08:26 🤔 During the 30-day break, Newport advises active experimentation and self-reflection to identify what truly matters to you. 10:17 💡 Step three introduces the concept of "zero-based technology budgeting," where you rebuild your tech use from scratch based on what's important. 14:02 🎨 Newport shares an example of a visual artist who curates Instagram use to only follow a few inspiring artists and checks it once a week. 17:14 📰 For keeping up with news, Newport suggests subscribing to a Sunday newspaper or a news digest email instead of relying on social media. 20:44 👫 Newport emphasizes the importance of real-life social interactions and setting up regular activities with friends. 21:54 🎯 Newport concludes that this approach allows you to have a completely different relationship with technology in just 60 days, without needing to retreat to a forest. 22:34 📚 Cal Newport emphasizes the importance of zero-based budgeting in reforming your relationship with technology. 23:28 📖 Newport discusses the use of the Blinkist app as a triage tool for deciding which books to read or buy. 25:10 🛡️ Cal, as a computer scientist, stresses the need for using a VPN to protect your online activity. 28:25 🌐 A listener asks about sharing work online while maintaining privacy. Cal advises focusing on having something meaningful to say first. 30:44 📋 Newport criticizes "checklist productivity," emphasizing that having a meaningful message is more important than optimizing channels. 33:17 🎯 Cal advises starting with a couple of reasonable channels and focusing on content that resonates with people before worrying about optimization. 35:11 🚀 Newport emphasizes that channel optimization should come after you have content that works and resonates with an audience. 37:46 📱 A concerned parent asks about iPads in K-12 education. Cal argues that edtech is orthogonal to kids' technology abuse. 40:03 🏠 Newport states that what happens at home, including parental modeling of technology use, is the biggest factor in a child's relationship with technology. 42:11 🚫 Cal warns against the excuse that kids need unrestricted internet access for homework, stating that unrestricted access should be for those 16 or older. 43:06 🎓 Cal Newport discusses the challenge of technology in schools, highlighting how the internet's ubiquity complicates setting boundaries for children. 44:26 📱 Newport criticizes the normalization of constant tech use among kids, mentioning how Bill Simmons gauges his children's interest in movies by their TikTok usage. 45:20 🤔 Newport questions the resigned attitude of parents toward their children's tech habits, suggesting that more proactive measures should be taken. 46:17 📊 A listener asks about the balance between tracking media consumption and becoming too dependent on technology for interests like reading and music. 48:11 🌐 Newport advocates for smaller, niche online communities over large platforms, arguing that they offer more meaningful interactions. 50:46 🛠️ Newport advises a 30-year-old listener to reevaluate their relationship with technology as the first step toward improving their life. 54:03 📈 Newport introduces the "Deep life stack," a structured approach to improving various aspects of one's life, starting with technology habits. 57:04 🗂️ Newport emphasizes the importance of getting organized in life only after addressing technology habits, values, and discipline. 59:25 📰 Newport advises a minimalist approach to news consumption, suggesting weekly newspapers or news roundup podcasts as alternatives to social media. 01:01:58 🚫 Newport debunks the myth that constant connectivity is necessary for staying informed, pointing out that people managed well before the social media era. 01:03:10 📱 Ladder is a 100% digital insurance platform, offering up to $3 million in coverage without the need for medical exams. 01:04:09 🏋️ My Body Tutor is an online coaching program that focuses on consistency in health and fitness, providing daily accountability from a personal coach. 01:05:50 👫 The episode shifts to discuss the "Friendship Recession," questioning whether people are genuinely less connected today and what can be done about it. 01:06:18 📲 Social apps and text messaging tools give the illusion of connection but don't satisfy our brain's need for real social interaction. 01:09:57 📉 The number of men with at least six close friends has halved since 1990, and loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. 01:17:22 🤝 Jamie Kilstein talks about his personal journey in forming male friendships, emphasizing the importance of self-discovery and genuine connection. 01:23:12 🧘♂️ Before seeking friendships or relationships, it's crucial to spend time alone to understand oneself, ideally through non-screen activities like reading, meditation, and walks. 01:24:08 🤔 Self-reflection is crucial for identifying meaningful activities and relationships. 01:25:06 🍻 Going to bars or relying on screens for social interactions is not fulfilling. 01:26:14 📱 The difference between a lonely day and a fulfilling one can be the quality of activities and interactions you choose. 01:27:23 🤝 Being surrounded by people on the same wavelength leads to high-quality friendships. 01:28:32 😃 Be someone you'd want to hang out with to attract like-minded people. 01:29:56 📺 Group activities like watching fights can be a good way to socialize. 01:31:05 📸 Social media can serve as an icebreaker for real-life interactions. 01:33:10 🛡️ Strong male friendships serve as a buffer against life's challenges. 01:34:47 🌱 Joining communities based on your values can lead to meaningful connections. 01:36:26 🗣️ The final step in forming friendships is to put yourself out there and invite interactions. 01:38:45 😇 Show yourself grace; building confidence is a step-by-step process. 01:39:42 🎙️ Jamie's podcast, "The Back Row with Jamie Kilstein," focuses on mental health and bringing people together. Made with HARPA AI
Midland school has crazy fees - 2023-24 Tuition is $73,900. Seems like the article is more of a PR campaign. There's no way an "average" 15 year old could ever have the kind of resources to get into such a school.
This was incredibly insightful and informative. In our work with adults - we teach them a principle of Smiles, Skills & Surprise - because we also don't believe in this notion of suddenly 'detoxing' from tech. However, when people have a framework that they can learn, use and receive support on - it's amazing how quickly technology shifts from being perceived as a distraction to becoming a tool of use/value again.
What a great episode. Thanks for the discussion on male friendships/connection. I have heard from female friends that men are constantly leaning on them emotionally instead of doing the inner work.
The only thing that ever helps me get rid of my phone is replacing my time with other things and not giving myself a choice through accountability. When you have nothing else to do, you will naturally start using your phone. Hobbies or learning something might be helpful.
Fully agree, I think if you just get rid of the time wasters alone, you'll quickly find other ways of wasting your time. I find it definitely helps to have a solid goal/plan, so that you know what it is that you should be doing.
Cal, the EdTech is a problem because it forces the kid to log onto a computer EVERY DAY not just once in a while. It does not justify a phone, but a laptop offers the same temptations for social media, and the laptop is impossible to avoid.
I love your unique perspective on getting rid of social media, or significantly reducing. I write a niche industry substack and I am trying to aovid the rabbit hole of spending a ton of time reading other substack writers, recommending, cross posting. I moved to substack to hopefully avoid the constant stimulation of social media and now it seems like it's ramping up there too. The only issue I feel here is that it's hard to build an audience if you don't already have one. In speaking to publishers, they want you to build your audience first now before they will consider your book proposal. It seems to be a necessary evil of being a writer now, unfortunately.
Great video as always. It's actually, in some ways, I think easier to be a digital minimalist in a school environment like that. It definitely requires self control to do this, but it's worth it!
Just got rid of my iPhone 12, because of all the news about radiation and stuff. Bruh, I'm an international student by himself, I can't afford to pay any more health related bills
I have to put more effort into social media and my phone in order to grow my business. I think of social media as a cancer. However, that attitude is not going to help my business grow. I need to return calls and I need to build and promote a website. But that doesn't mean I personally need to hang out online.
Man, this is so good. This is so so good. Where are the women leading other women in how to be strong-willed, disciplined, and fulfilled without mentioning feminism!? Anyway, that's just a random thought but I appreciate the work that you do Cal and the team. I'm ready to exchange my demons for a remarkable life!🌟
I'm struggling to find a woman who is not attached and glued to the screen and scrolling like a mindless Zombie. I literally dont approach girl because of that. I think the happiest couples in modern world are those who are not on Social media platforms. I want to have a WOMAN in life on a Victoria Secret Model and who is sucking the screen all the time.
100% on the ed tech/parental boundaries issue. You are in the minority if you set strict boundaries but it is 100% necessary and I would volunteer that at least 17 or out of high school is necessary.
I bought a flip phone to be less on my phone and I'll never download social media on it and I'll not allowed to go on youtube with it. I'll tell you if it works in few month.
I think the jibe about Jennifer Anniston being a sad person without a family was unnecessarily cruel. She has recently described how IVF didn’t work for her, as it doesn’t for most women/couples who attempt it. That was a mean spirited comment IMO.
@@actrue9712Saying mean things about a person to thousands or millions of other people without that person hearing or seeing it doesn’t make it less wrong. And having money doesn’t make you impervious to mean spirited comments… especially comments that hit a certain sore spot. And the inability to have children for women is a VERY sore spot for most. Js 🤷🏾♀️
It really bothers me if I have unread message in my WhatsApp or any WhatsApp group. I have to open it so that unread alert goes away 😮. I think I am weird.
under 30 i was book reading addicted. now i am utube video watching addicted. my answer to that is i work 40 to 50 hrs a week and i internet intermittent fast, 3 - 4 days on, 3 - 4 days off. prbly gona go to 1 week on, 1 week off. or even a month. diminishing returns on my utube time spent, i could prbly go a yr without soon. anyways i have other projects going on.
Also, the content creator who asked the question was wondering about how to maintain his /privacy/ as a person while being an online public figure. Maybe he didn't tell you the type of content he had in mind to create, but that's presomptuous to assume he hasn't thought deeply about it. You haven't answered his question, you just assumed he's mindless, while being patronizing.
I have a CRM software that includes a social planner, and it gives you way more value than hiring a VA just to tweet for you. And it's the same price as what he was talking about - $50 per week. But instead of just getting someone to tweet for you, you can schedule out all your posts on multiple platforms, optimize your business' SEO, get more leads, and integrate all your DM’s all into one platform. Comment below if interested.
I quit social media cold turkey. I do allow TH-cam informational videos (no shorts). I noticed the resulted the next day. Going on day 7 I think. So far, it’s the best decision I’ve made in a long time.
How’s it going?
@@BeefyPreacher Better than I imagined it would.
I wish I could disable Shorts
My brain keeps trying to tell me why i need to go back on and reinstall.
@@egsantos There's an chrome extension for it!
Step 1: Implement a 30-day digital declutter by taking a break from optional personal technologies.
Step 2: Actively experiment and self-reflect during the declutter period.
Step 3: Apply zero-based budgeting to your technology use, starting with nothing and adding back what truly matters.
Step 4: Establish rules and boundaries for technology use based on your values and needs.
👍
God bless you.
Easier said than done
@@Julia-b9x I mean, I'm not sure.
I'd probably have an easier time doing it than summarizing it, honestly.
I quit social media months ago, what i can say is that even when i cut it it took a long time to see the benefits of that in my life, the detox process take long time it's just like with every addiction. It's not just about healing addiction but reprogramming your brain to seek the things the really matter.
You posted this on social media.
@@CIARUNSITE A lot of people don't consider TH-cam to be social media.
It objectively is because you can communicate with other people on it --- but it's actually possible to use it productively, so people consider it different from the others.
The idea of zero based budgeting is how I lowered my screen time but I didn't know I was doing it. Having a name now makes it so much easier to talk about it with my friends who are still struggling! Thank you!
I have done well with reducing my screen time by keeping the phone out of sight! (Out of the office.) I allow myself to look at the phone after lunch for 10 mins and then a little after dinner. Deleted all the social media apps off my phone and use the apps only on my laptop when posting content for personal brand! Life Changing! Curious how you guys are keeping the phone at bay.
I realised that only extreme steps work for me, hence I deleted all my social media accounts permanently last year. Did the 30day declutter as Cal suggested and immediately realised I don't need to have an online presence. I don't have any personal brands, nor I sell anything. I'm just a coder.
Although the only drawback is i have totally lost contact with distant friends. I only have 2-3 friends now that I make calls to. But I've made peace with this reality too.
It’s crazy that these things are programmed to be as addicting as possible and we give them to kids.
Right! My girlfriends nephews flip out every time we force them to put them away for family or dinner time!
That's becaused it's caused by useless 'absentee parents' nowadays.
I think parenting up until recently has been one step above raising cows and chickens in terms of responsibilities.
For most people.
Like, make sure they’re fed and sheltered and IF they happen to learn something from you by happenstance along the way, great.
I have an 8 year old boy with autism and he tends to make the biggest tantrums when I turned off the tv (they have issues regulating their emotions), so I decided to just play the music instead because he loves singing. Things are a lot better now 😅
Crazy? Bro 6 year olds used to drink beer for breakfast, work 50hours a week and smoke a pack of darts a day. Giving a kid a device aint nothin
5 minutes into the Jamie discussion, I was considering moving on to another thing, but trusting that there was probably value to be found in the final 20 minutes of a Cal podcast yielded fruit. Jamie's example gave me some ideas to try out and reinforced some stuff I knew.
For me the hardest part of quitting social media is that many of these sites keep you latched on with a 30 day rule, where they schedule the deletion to a month after you make the choice.
You then have 30 days to regret and think about what you could be missing. It's gross and unethical
Glad I scrolled long enough to find the video.
Question / Suggestion to the Cal Newport team. I, like many from your audience, listen to this podcast on an audio platform. I personally use Spotify when I'm driving to and back from work. There are times when I'm interested in something and want to come back and watch a specific section on TH-cam to cement the concept visually. Unfortunately, I always have a hard time finding the corresponding Spotify podcast on TH-cam. The podcasts don't have the same name of Episode Number for me to identify the correct podcast on TH-cam. I usually have to turn off my TH-cam blocker, browse from Cal's podcast videos and find something closest to the topic I remember hearing about. Is there an easier way for me to do this. If not, I would suggest having some traceability across platforms that you host podcasts in. Thanks for doing these podcasts, I gain a lot of value from this.
You're truly a gem on the internet, Cal! Thank you so much! ❤
This was so helpful. I'm going to try it. Thank you. To recap: 30 days with no optional personal technologies (remove from phone, avoid on desktop). Experiment with things you've always wanted to do during this time. When the 30-day period is winding down, apply zero-based budgeting meaning start with what's most important to you (creativity, information, etc) and re-introduce the most fundamental. Follow the rules of engagement going forward.
This one is gonna be really good. So keen to listen. Thanks. I already removed social media from my phone and removed all my passwords and made it hard to login. But sometimes I get tempted and download it and check what’s happening and make a status to show people I’m doing well in life, like they care. I’m so keen to just not have it at all all the time and really be more than what I could be.
You are gonna love it man. Also observe people around you, they are always scrolling, holding mobiles while walking.
An important thing to realise with keeping in touch with the world is that Mainstream media (MSM) is really enough.
Of course, TH-camrs try and say MSM is a load of garbage and biased, and you should get all your info from their videos instead... but they're way worse with everything they accuse MSM of, and you can consume news mindfully by deliberately getting it from a range of sources and actually reading the article instead of the title which is deliberately designed to be emotive and attention-grabbing.
The only thing on social media I use for news anymore is positive news channels, because unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a mainstream focus on positivity. Good News and Sam Bentley are my go-to's. Also, deliberately search up science news! So many people think they're well-informed, but they know _nothing_ about advancements in the science world!
Loved the friendship recession portion. Loved listening to that
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:15 📱 Cal Newport discusses an article about someone who traded their smartphone for an ax to cure their tech addiction.
01:37 🌳 The article's subject, Caleb, felt like a "shell" of himself due to screen addiction and sought a radical change by going to a forest school.
02:31 🌲 Caleb attends Midland School in the Los Padres National Forest, where technology is forbidden, and finds liberation.
05:00 ⚠️ Newport warns that extreme stories like Caleb's can make people feel that only radical measures will cure tech addiction.
06:22 🛠️ Newport outlines a four-step process for a more pragmatic approach to reducing tech dependency without radical life changes.
07:02 🗓️ Step one involves a 30-day digital declutter, where you take a break from optional personal technologies.
08:26 🤔 During the 30-day break, Newport advises active experimentation and self-reflection to identify what truly matters to you.
10:17 💡 Step three introduces the concept of "zero-based technology budgeting," where you rebuild your tech use from scratch based on what's important.
14:02 🎨 Newport shares an example of a visual artist who curates Instagram use to only follow a few inspiring artists and checks it once a week.
17:14 📰 For keeping up with news, Newport suggests subscribing to a Sunday newspaper or a news digest email instead of relying on social media.
20:44 👫 Newport emphasizes the importance of real-life social interactions and setting up regular activities with friends.
21:54 🎯 Newport concludes that this approach allows you to have a completely different relationship with technology in just 60 days, without needing to retreat to a forest.
22:34 📚 Cal Newport emphasizes the importance of zero-based budgeting in reforming your relationship with technology.
23:28 📖 Newport discusses the use of the Blinkist app as a triage tool for deciding which books to read or buy.
25:10 🛡️ Cal, as a computer scientist, stresses the need for using a VPN to protect your online activity.
28:25 🌐 A listener asks about sharing work online while maintaining privacy. Cal advises focusing on having something meaningful to say first.
30:44 📋 Newport criticizes "checklist productivity," emphasizing that having a meaningful message is more important than optimizing channels.
33:17 🎯 Cal advises starting with a couple of reasonable channels and focusing on content that resonates with people before worrying about optimization.
35:11 🚀 Newport emphasizes that channel optimization should come after you have content that works and resonates with an audience.
37:46 📱 A concerned parent asks about iPads in K-12 education. Cal argues that edtech is orthogonal to kids' technology abuse.
40:03 🏠 Newport states that what happens at home, including parental modeling of technology use, is the biggest factor in a child's relationship with technology.
42:11 🚫 Cal warns against the excuse that kids need unrestricted internet access for homework, stating that unrestricted access should be for those 16 or older.
43:06 🎓 Cal Newport discusses the challenge of technology in schools, highlighting how the internet's ubiquity complicates setting boundaries for children.
44:26 📱 Newport criticizes the normalization of constant tech use among kids, mentioning how Bill Simmons gauges his children's interest in movies by their TikTok usage.
45:20 🤔 Newport questions the resigned attitude of parents toward their children's tech habits, suggesting that more proactive measures should be taken.
46:17 📊 A listener asks about the balance between tracking media consumption and becoming too dependent on technology for interests like reading and music.
48:11 🌐 Newport advocates for smaller, niche online communities over large platforms, arguing that they offer more meaningful interactions.
50:46 🛠️ Newport advises a 30-year-old listener to reevaluate their relationship with technology as the first step toward improving their life.
54:03 📈 Newport introduces the "Deep life stack," a structured approach to improving various aspects of one's life, starting with technology habits.
57:04 🗂️ Newport emphasizes the importance of getting organized in life only after addressing technology habits, values, and discipline.
59:25 📰 Newport advises a minimalist approach to news consumption, suggesting weekly newspapers or news roundup podcasts as alternatives to social media.
01:01:58 🚫 Newport debunks the myth that constant connectivity is necessary for staying informed, pointing out that people managed well before the social media era.
01:03:10 📱 Ladder is a 100% digital insurance platform, offering up to $3 million in coverage without the need for medical exams.
01:04:09 🏋️ My Body Tutor is an online coaching program that focuses on consistency in health and fitness, providing daily accountability from a personal coach.
01:05:50 👫 The episode shifts to discuss the "Friendship Recession," questioning whether people are genuinely less connected today and what can be done about it.
01:06:18 📲 Social apps and text messaging tools give the illusion of connection but don't satisfy our brain's need for real social interaction.
01:09:57 📉 The number of men with at least six close friends has halved since 1990, and loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
01:17:22 🤝 Jamie Kilstein talks about his personal journey in forming male friendships, emphasizing the importance of self-discovery and genuine connection.
01:23:12 🧘♂️ Before seeking friendships or relationships, it's crucial to spend time alone to understand oneself, ideally through non-screen activities like reading, meditation, and walks.
01:24:08 🤔 Self-reflection is crucial for identifying meaningful activities and relationships.
01:25:06 🍻 Going to bars or relying on screens for social interactions is not fulfilling.
01:26:14 📱 The difference between a lonely day and a fulfilling one can be the quality of activities and interactions you choose.
01:27:23 🤝 Being surrounded by people on the same wavelength leads to high-quality friendships.
01:28:32 😃 Be someone you'd want to hang out with to attract like-minded people.
01:29:56 📺 Group activities like watching fights can be a good way to socialize.
01:31:05 📸 Social media can serve as an icebreaker for real-life interactions.
01:33:10 🛡️ Strong male friendships serve as a buffer against life's challenges.
01:34:47 🌱 Joining communities based on your values can lead to meaningful connections.
01:36:26 🗣️ The final step in forming friendships is to put yourself out there and invite interactions.
01:38:45 😇 Show yourself grace; building confidence is a step-by-step process.
01:39:42 🎙️ Jamie's podcast, "The Back Row with Jamie Kilstein," focuses on mental health and bringing people together.
Made with HARPA AI
Midland school has crazy fees - 2023-24 Tuition is $73,900. Seems like the article is more of a PR campaign. There's no way an "average" 15 year old could ever have the kind of resources to get into such a school.
Exactly, the Bari Weiss grift is strong! Not like this kid just decided to take the money from his paper route and head to the forest.
Just to let you know, 47% of students at Midland receive financial assistance and don't pay the sticker price. : )
This was incredibly insightful and informative. In our work with adults - we teach them a principle of Smiles, Skills & Surprise - because we also don't believe in this notion of suddenly 'detoxing' from tech. However, when people have a framework that they can learn, use and receive support on - it's amazing how quickly technology shifts from being perceived as a distraction to becoming a tool of use/value again.
What a great episode. Thanks for the discussion on male friendships/connection. I have heard from female friends that men are constantly leaning on them emotionally instead of doing the inner work.
The only thing that ever helps me get rid of my phone is replacing my time with other things and not giving myself a choice through accountability. When you have nothing else to do, you will naturally start using your phone. Hobbies or learning something might be helpful.
Fully agree, I think if you just get rid of the time wasters alone, you'll quickly find other ways of wasting your time. I find it definitely helps to have a solid goal/plan, so that you know what it is that you should be doing.
Cal, the EdTech is a problem because it forces the kid to log onto a computer EVERY DAY not just once in a while. It does not justify a phone, but a laptop offers the same temptations for social media, and the laptop is impossible to avoid.
I'm amazed by how little people realise laptop and computer addictions are also a thing, as well as phone ones.
I love your unique perspective on getting rid of social media, or significantly reducing. I write a niche industry substack and I am trying to aovid the rabbit hole of spending a ton of time reading other substack writers, recommending, cross posting. I moved to substack to hopefully avoid the constant stimulation of social media and now it seems like it's ramping up there too. The only issue I feel here is that it's hard to build an audience if you don't already have one. In speaking to publishers, they want you to build your audience first now before they will consider your book proposal. It seems to be a necessary evil of being a writer now, unfortunately.
Man would love to hear Cal’s author perspective on this. Except he pretends he’s not reading the comments. ;)
Love your approach
great video Cal, I am from Brazil, say a Hello for us here. I'll practice this thoughts today yet. Thanks for sharing with us
I shared this video with several other adult men that I’m friends with because it’s hard to connect sometimes!
Guest is hard work but some real gems in this vid. Thanks u
Loved your line about Midland's photos, "makes me feel like I'm Thoreau!"
'whatever the hookup version is of friends' LOL, sounds like my friendship life
Thank you for this very interesting episode. The section on the friendship recession was very thought-provoking.
Thank you for this material, I needed it
When you realise you're watching this on phone
Laptop lol , cheers
Sorry about the breakup Kilstein. Read Dance of Connection by Harriet Lerner, helped me process mine.
Great video as always. It's actually, in some ways, I think easier to be a digital minimalist in a school environment like that. It definitely requires self control to do this, but it's worth it!
Thank you soo much.
On news: I find things that are really important and matter- you will find out about, even if you live under a rock. Everything else is noise.
G of the week : Midland and Caleb.
Just got rid of my iPhone 12, because of all the news about radiation and stuff. Bruh, I'm an international student by himself, I can't afford to pay any more health related bills
Does anyone know which iPhone does Cal has?
I really enjoyed this 😊. Thank you so much for the tips.
I have to put more effort into social media and my phone in order to grow my business. I think of social media as a cancer. However, that attitude is not going to help my business grow. I need to return calls and I need to build and promote a website. But that doesn't mean I personally need to hang out online.
26:00 so its bad that your ISP can see your activity, but its OK that a different private for-profit company gets it all instead?
Good episode!
Man, this is so good. This is so so good. Where are the women leading other women in how to be strong-willed, disciplined, and fulfilled without mentioning feminism!? Anyway, that's just a random thought but I appreciate the work that you do Cal and the team. I'm ready to exchange my demons for a remarkable life!🌟
I'm struggling to find a woman who is not attached and glued to the screen and scrolling like a mindless Zombie. I literally dont approach girl because of that. I think the happiest couples in modern world are those who are not on Social media platforms. I want to have a WOMAN in life on a Victoria Secret Model and who is sucking the screen all the time.
100% on the ed tech/parental boundaries issue. You are in the minority if you set strict boundaries but it is 100% necessary and I would volunteer that at least 17 or out of high school is necessary.
"I have this bear-shaman helmet that's just sitting in my closet gathering dust..."👏👏👏
I agree with the premise of the article, but good god it was an obvious advertisement.
I bought a flip phone to be less on my phone and I'll never download social media on it and I'll not allowed to go on youtube with it. I'll tell you if it works in few month.
I think the jibe about Jennifer Anniston being a sad person without a family was unnecessarily cruel. She has recently described how IVF didn’t work for her, as it doesn’t for most women/couples who attempt it. That was a mean spirited comment IMO.
Well she will never see this video and she’s a millionaire so I’m sure she’s fine
@@actrue9712Saying mean things about a person to thousands or millions of other people without that person hearing or seeing it doesn’t make it less wrong.
And having money doesn’t make you impervious to mean spirited comments… especially comments that hit a certain sore spot. And the inability to have children for women is a VERY sore spot for most. Js 🤷🏾♀️
Is watching a movie or a tv show part of the optional digital technology?
Great episode, not sure what happened to the adverts though. Every 10 minutes another advert
Make that 5 minutes, maybe just my tv?
It really bothers me if I have unread message in my WhatsApp or any WhatsApp group. I have to open it so that unread alert goes away 😮. I think I am weird.
under 30 i was book reading addicted.
now i am utube video watching addicted.
my answer to that is i work 40 to 50 hrs a week
and i internet intermittent fast,
3 - 4 days on, 3 - 4 days off.
prbly gona go to
1 week on, 1 week off.
or even a month.
diminishing returns on my utube time spent,
i could prbly go a yr without soon.
anyways i have other projects going on.
Leave your phone in your car when you get home from work. Use it throughout the day, but never in the evenings
Good tip
@@CF. whenever I do this I relax more, I sleep better, and I have more time to do other things
You didn’t answer the first caller’s question properly! He wanted to know how you use digital platforms & still keep your privacy
Also, the content creator who asked the question was wondering about how to maintain his /privacy/ as a person while being an online public figure. Maybe he didn't tell you the type of content he had in mind to create, but that's presomptuous to assume he hasn't thought deeply about it. You haven't answered his question, you just assumed he's mindless, while being patronizing.
Any tips on making friends and finding the time when you have small children and both parents work full time?
I take my 3 year old son to do BMX and soccer and my wife and I are making friends with other parents.
I have a CRM software that includes a social planner, and it gives you way more value than hiring a VA just to tweet for you. And it's the same price as what he was talking about - $50 per week. But instead of just getting someone to tweet for you, you can schedule out all your posts on multiple platforms, optimize your business' SEO, get more leads, and integrate all your DM’s all into one platform.
Comment below if interested.
“Only at Midland….” $35,000/year
it takes a 20 minute video not a 1hr 40 minute video. this is going to be a struggle.
I am more addicted to my PC then my phone
"They call me Screwface."
Dude this should've been a 20 minutes video not 1h40mins.
Surely this comment is satire 😂
“David Dux” 💀💀💀
really sounds like a ChatGTP essay ;)
For something about decreasing digital clutter, this video should not be this e-bloviated.
So many subscrobbles
I don't think many people with attention span problems will watch this 1:42:00 video
That said. I will be one of those people that will watch this.
I made it!
For the algorithm 🤩🥰💪🫶😁😎👌🥸🤓🥳🫡