"When we go out to the clubs it always 'wow you look amazing!' not 'how are you getting home?" because we only matter when we're fabulous" wow. I've never thought of that before and that struck me. As a black person I can relate to only being of importance when we are a commodity/fetishised... but as a cis woman never thought of the ways I also may be doing that to others.
4:45 Wow. That explanation of transmisogyny is so brutally true. 'I wasn't born in the wrong body; I was born in the wrong world.' So much bravery and beauty and WISDOM here. Thank you thank you.
The Four Queens But I feel like I was born in the wrong body, like my whole life I've hated how my body wasn't female. Not because of society but because it natural felt wrong.
A men wanting the world to be all about him, what progressive, radical and kind this is, right? Specially when he claims that if girls get abused its because they might not be pure, as girls are kinky too, right?
I want you to know Alok, if you're reading this, that I just finished listening to your poem and the only sound I've heard as I lie back on my chair for the last few minutes is my fan and even that has been a dull irrelevant whir because your words are so loud. You did that. You're the reason why I feel this special emotion that is above any sort of name, but you know the one. I am forever grateful. You are art.
one of the most powerful and insightful poetic monologues on the human condition that i've ever heard - truly a super evolved spirit of higher consciousness on planet earth today
Once again, thank you Stylelikeu for providing a platform for issues like these to be shared with the world. You provoke thought and remind me constantly to look outside of myself and hear someone else's reality. I am constantly reminded when watching your videos that I am not the only person going through a personal struggle in a toxic environment. Alok, you are so courageous and I admire your strength in your journey. This is, what's underneath.
I have a written out version of this poem that I have re-read so many times and I have listened to Alok speak it over and over and I just can't express how beautifully Alok managed to write this poem. Every time I read it a new part of it comes alive that I hadn't noticed the times before and that is truly amazing. If you thought it was good the first time please keep reading it like wow!
Alok, this is so beautiful. Thank you for continuing to share such beautiful stories, messages, and visions to the world. Something I admire the most about you is your ability to speak about some of the most terrifying, violent, unacceptable systemic ideas, structures, and behaviors with a lot of humility, love, and even forgiveness. I think you embody a gentleness that many others often cannot express because the daily pain and oppression hurts so much. You have taught me to see the gray area more and not fear it, even from a urgent justice-oriented lens. I hope there is a lot of abundant love in your life.
That was absolutely Incredible! From the minute this started I was captivated and emersed with those words. The poem at the end gave me such chills and perspective. Seriously an inspiring person!!
Alok is gorgeous and that smile is just so radiant and infectious. Love him. Delightful. It breaks my heart, the amount of people who consider suicide an answer. It really hurts me when I hear these stories - it feels like choking and nausea and such heartbreak. Then the tears come.
I would be dead without my daily binge watch of these style like u videos! I am insecure yet find great security and love in these understanding beings...I cannot thank everyone at stylelikeu enough for changing my life and providing me the confidence to embrace my gender and sexuality in authenticity! THANKYOU Alok, THANKYOU Shannon Clagett, THANKYOU Io Tillet Wright, THANKYOU Kathy Cooper and generally thankyou to the inspirational mother and daughter behind these cameras!!! :p :D
I'm just about to start my menswear graduation collection based on transgender people and society norms. This made me extremely emotional. What a beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing your story, I love your poetry and activism.
This installment was particularly incredible. I feel like I have learned so much in 14 minutes. That poem was unbelievably powerful. I will definitely have to hunt down more of Alok's work now... they're an amazing poet.
Wow, these are some really powerful words. "The world I'm fighting for is where we stop making assumptions around everything; where we allow people to self-narrate their bodies."
Wow that was deep! The spoken words left me breathless. My mom gave me a necklace that read," In this world but not of it"! We have to continue to love ourselves as much as we can and surrounded by those whose rep for us. Peace
“Unless we liberate both perpetrators AND victims of violence, we’re stuck in the same system” such a misunderstood, poignant truth. Alok truly blows me away. What a wonderful, powerful human they are.
@@peterjanssen5901 Sure I have. I was pointing out how succinctly and powerfully Alok articulated this truth. However, this is not obvious to many- which is why we are continuing in the circumstances that we are. If you shame people for learning and moving forward, they will stay in the dark. Do better.
People don't want to change, grow and move forward. They want to jog in place and see slogans & platitudes speed by giving the illusion of progress. Most people experience truth as a burden, that can't be molly coddles like their beloved exhibitionist suffering. And I would never shame people, Oh dear no, I like people to grow....like tumors, twist themselves into knots like sickly trees. I love grotesques. I always like to "Do badder" that's my motto. ;)
This person is excellent to see! If I saw someone walking down the street like this, it would make me so happy...and instantly make my outfit look dull! I really love what he was explaining about the "male terrorist" image. Break it down!! This person is BRILLIANT.
thank you for sharing something that is so important yet is still dangerous to share. thank you for standing up for all of us! You're so breathtaking and so beautiful. Thank you for bringing more beauty to a world which sometimes denies to see it
So happy to hear someone say they are not woman or man, but something other. It is so silly to try and limit oneself to just two genders and try to compensate for whatever one feels is "missing". Since there are at least six biological sexes (XX, XY, XXX, XXY, XYY and the very rare XXXY) on earth why should there only be two genders?
No words can describe how amazing his story and message is. I stumbled upon this channel by accident. I honestly don't know how I could've have missed something like this! You guys are really amazing!!
OMG, yes. Finally somebody said it... women do patriarchy as well. I have been struggling to explain this to my female! friends for the longest time! I am not saying we should all go full sisterhood on each other, but sometimes I wish other women in my life would think about their actions and what they perpetuate. Also, big fan of the channel and the work!! woop woop :)
Omar Ibrahim no, they can do that. i/we might not like it, but they can do that. if i remember this video correctly, i think i was refering to the patterns that we pick up from society (speech, behaviour etc.) and just repeat, without thinking about it. but some of these patterns are a bit... problematic. i think that's what i was on about, but it's been a year, i don't really remember what my thought process was.
ladydevlish Everyone (unfortunately) are by-products of the patriarchy, it is only determined by how much you let it influence your life. As a cisgender woman, from a very young age it was drilled into me that strangers (especially men) were predatory and it was *my* responsibility to protect myself from being assaulted or attacked. We are taught to fear the Ed Kempers in the world - but not to look at the people within our lives who are statistically more likely to sexually assault or murder us. We are taught - be afraid of the boogey man dressed up in high heels, because he is the predator, that his only purpose in the bathroom is to prey on me and children... the same rhetoric taught when segregation started to end - people of all races sharing the same space, surely black people would hurt us?! Meanwhile, everyone in a public bathroom is trying to take a private shit waiting for their stall's companion to leave so you can relax and let go... It isn't right, but for many people they don't investigate things. They aren't curious enough to even listen to someone else to even respect their autonomy or personal expression. Women don't benefit from patriarchy but unknowingly live in the comfort of it. Most men don't benefit from patriarchy - not really, to live holding up the guise of masculinity is painful and those who do benefit, they are usually oppressing their friends, family, society and themselves. Imagine having to constantly feel the need to reaffirm your masculinity to complete strangers by having a disgusting disregard to others because of their race or style or expression!? I dunno, I just wonder why people have to be so mean. Isn't is nice to be nice? Didn't these people watch Mr. Rogers and know that people loved them for them, that we are all neighbours? Anyways, I certainly hope you have a good day and maybe one day your friends will understand. (EDIT: sorry, didn't realize the OP comment was 2 years old - in context, Alok was discussing an incident when an older woman harassed them for attending the women's bathroom and related that women can be perpetrators of the patriarchy.)
Woowwww this actually made me reconsider getting laser hair removal for my facial hair as a trans feminine non binary person, they made me realize that indeed I have no problem with how my body is, but how society perceives it and categorizes it as something inherently male, and that why I want to transition is to pass socially and feel more safe within this cisheteronormative society.
OMG My mind/soul is blown away... It is years later (7?,its 2022),how is Alok doing? You should revisit these folks from your beginning! Alok is stunningly beautiful, and a magical poet!
I love everything about what you are saying Alok!!! I have had similar conversation with so many wonderful cis-gender friends. I share with them the perspective that Trans & Non-binary people are heroes of freedom for everyone. Because whenever anyone is brave enough to be authentic/healthy, to peacefully stand up for their rights, to end repression, then simultaneously we are all made more free! It is important to understand that we don't need to be the specifically the same (I.E.: race, gender, culture, orientation) to be on the same side of freedom for everyone. For example: Black Lives Matter should be an important issue to everyone, as a powerful way to support human rights for all. Because Black Lives Matter is a human rights issue (not just a minority or Black issue). Likewise, Trans-rights are a human rights issue, because we are all unique and even a White Cis-gender male is being repressed by heavy restrictions in gender roles. For example most Cis-men’s mental-health is being harmed everyday by society’s view that men must repress their emotions, otherwise they are seen as emasculated (through the perspective of gender repression). This results in the silent suffering of all men who experience: depression, anxiety, and stress. Which in turn affects how we (as men) interact in our relationships with others. Gender Repression affects men's (and all other gender's) overall quality of life. ...Which also harms family systems. For example: when fathers are extremely depressed or overwhelmed with back-logged emotions, their ability to be the kind of compassionate/healthy fathers that they want to be, is dimensioned in proportion to how emotionally overwhelmed they are. Gender repression has the intense side-effect of creating emotional repression for men, so a lot of men often struggle with being able to process and release stress. I only bring up this particular example to acknowledge human/societal suffering with compassion (not to criticize men). I really feel that most men want to be compassionate and healthy, but most men are sabotaged by emotional/gender repression, so we haven't known how to cultivate as much empathy for others, because we are enculturated to repress emotion so heavily. This is just one example of many. Each unique gender identity experiences its own specific gender repression and pain. Each example could be illustrated and deserves respect/compassion. I only brought up cis-men, because I think it is particularly helpful to point out how even cis-men are liberated by Trans and Non-binary rights. ...Which many men may not realize. So I think it can be a great way of starting to create healthy conversations that create perspective shifts that support all minority rights. There are endless examples of how forcing inauthentic/repressive roles onto people, creates serious mental illness issues for all people in general. So protecting any minority’s rights is also protecting everyone’s rights/health indirectly, and improves quality of life for everyone. We are only collectively as free/healthy, as how we treat those that have the least rights in our society. How can I feel free and safe? ...if my neighbors that are minorities are being systematically harmed and harassed by police. I can’t feel good about living in a country like that. Besides on the long run, when we create human rights loop-holes, they can be exploited in unpredictable ways, against any other group as well. America as a whole, needs to start seeing these minority rights issues as being human rights issues for everyone. That’s when things will get better.
A friend told me too look you up. I feel so lonely in my life as if I won’t ever matter again. Coming out as trans for me was coming out as irrelevant a big “this has all been a huge misunderstanding” moment. I wish that you made me feel less alone, but you did make me feel understood. I’ve had some of those same experiences and feelings as what you described. I’m grateful for your continued work and commitment towards kindness. The way you measure and weigh your words. My life is not glamorous as a trans person the way it’s so often portrayed. But that’s cause trans femme folks don’t get portrayed without the glitter and shine of fame and success. I’m just some broke and broken girl in LA trying to put pieces together. I want to be loved and get the chance to love again. For what it’s worth, thank you for being yourself before me.
All of these are so deep, and after watching you have this sort of drive and confidence, being genderfluid myself, I can relate to a few of these people and it's so motivational to hear their stories.
"How many souls does it take for a cemetery to call itself a nation." Such truth... P.S and, I am LIVING for the neon green you painted your toe nails in.
OK. Wow. I'm going to have to watch this one a few times to fully absorb what Alok is saying. Alok is a beautiful human being. I plan to check out Dark Matter. Thanks for this series. I am touched and saddened and hopeful.
I have no words to explain how I feel... ur poem touched my heart.. we need more people like you in this cruel world full of hypocrites. Hats off to you and your attitude towards life. 😊
"People would come up to me and say why do all Indian people smell bad? Why are you all, like, dirty? ...I kept on washing my hands but this brown wouldn't come off of me. I grew up feeling ugly because I was brown. I thought brown people could never be desirable, could never have sex. I thought we were all ugly and we all needed to be white to be beautiful." I guess we were supposed to focus on the gender aspect of this, but, as a brown woman in North America, I really identified with these words. I've been told all those things, I've felt all those things, and NOBODY in my experience has ever talked about it like it was a problem before. It is a comfort to know I'm not the only one to acknowledge how fucked up it was.
I cant even describe how much i love her. Thank you for not dying . Thank uou for waking up everyday and keeping the power up. You are an amaizing human being 💖
AWesome story, stay strong, as a woman who just happens to be trans, i'm far simpler, since coming out my spiritual side has come forward cause i'm not hiding or trying to be something i'm not and really never was. I'd rather read, look at art or do yoga or meditate. So my style is simple so i can focus on those things, but i love your fashion. Your story hits me hard, growing up in a small conservative town, i didn't know why i was different, and when i finally did encounter the none binary i had responsibilities and was fearful i'd loose that so i kept myself in the closet, eventually take a belt to my own neck, and so glad i failed at this one thing in my life i set out to do. Life is so much more amazing, i agree with everything you said, but i am at the point of going i am me, and i am a she-her-hers-miss, i am daughter and i am a sister, and i don't take shit and think pink is not weak but beautifully strong. thanks for sharing and keeping strong alok you rock, for me i want to change parts of me and thats my choice, rock that sexy beard if thats what you choose and respect those whom choose what they want even if its not your choice, just respect and love one another.
thank you for your series it's amazing, I practice Buddhism, and there is a story in which a mother ask the Buddha to killer her so essentially it won't count against her rebirth. The Buddha says, okay, i'll do it, but you must collect 1 grain of rice for 10 people whom have never experience pain or suffering or loss. Long story short, some time later the Buddha bumps into her and she doesn't have ten grains because everyone experiences loss and pain but we need to express that and let other know this completely human. I love these, and i do feel bad but also filled with joy to hear these stories of suffering but also joy from their experiences that have shaped these people to better individuals not just for themselves but others. As a woman whom just happens to be transgender, and did not grow up in a queer positive confirming environment, finally accepting whom i am and and always was, while i never did it before or tried not to, but for sure now I always judge from the inside out. What you look like doesn't matter to me on the outside its the person on the inside that is of significance to me. I had a friend with a facial deformity say, Annae, why is it that those of us whom don't fit the norm usually seem so kind and not to judge? maybe its cause we have experienced being judge unfairly by those whom fit the norm and have experienced that our outsides don't match our inside and don't want to ever do that to someone else. Thank you for this wonderful series, lots of love, Annae.
Kindness shouldn’t have to be a radical idea. Our society has become so polarized that there’s no tolerance for anyone outside of the boundaries (artificially created). All love and support to you - I am an ally.
“Objective biology”? Gender and it’s roles are largely social constructs. And the science behind gender is fast evolving. Either way, how does anyone’s gender identity infringe on another human being??
I suppose it is my generation that I was a little shocked by his appearance. Then he started talking and I found I was thinking what a beautiful person...not beautiful man....not beautiful woman but what a beautiful person. Even at 70 a mind can change.
I cherish this video and this person and this channel and I want to be more like them. This is what beauty, purity, spirituality, love, and faith look like. This video has touched me. Thank you.
Wow! Their poem was incredible! So poignant and razor sharp in its observation and critique of society and the horrific pain it inflicts on those who just want to live, learn, laugh, and love as their true authentic self!
The poem gave me chills. Funny thing is, Alok has more courage, authenticity and boldness than the haters who try to dismiss his/her being as being weak, 'fake' or weird. Alok deserves ALOT of respect because to still be yourself in a world that tries to outcast you, erase you, suppress you and ostracize you is what I consider a REAL, BOLD, BADASS PERSON.
I've been following you since my stay in residential eating disorder treatment last summer...You are poetry in motion. 🖤 Thank you for existing in this world as you are, your strength and advocacy are beyond healing, and your insight......fucking takes my breath away... I'd never contemplated how women Absolutely contribute, empower, and perpetuate patriarchal ideals.. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🖤🖤🖤🖤
How much more interesting and colorful life would be if everyone could be who they are meant to be! But, I didn't always feel this way, because I was raised in Central California in the 60's, where people hid who they were. We were mean in whispers, jokes, and sneers. It took me the transition of the new millennium to know I was the bigot, and I needed to change. I needed to be accepting. I needed to celebrate our differences. Now my eyes are wide open, and life is more exciting and peaceful. So, I guess you might say I am a trans, because I transitioned from bigot to celebrating equality and being kind. -- Carol Green, Retired California Teacher and Heterosexual
"When we go out to the clubs it always 'wow you look amazing!' not 'how are you getting home?" because we only matter when we're fabulous" wow. I've never thought of that before and that struck me. As a black person I can relate to only being of importance when we are a commodity/fetishised... but as a cis woman never thought of the ways I also may be doing that to others.
Feel this 100%
4:45 Wow. That explanation of transmisogyny is so brutally true.
'I wasn't born in the wrong body; I was born in the wrong world.'
So much bravery and beauty and WISDOM here. Thank you thank you.
The Four Queens But I feel like I was born in the wrong body, like my whole life I've hated how my body wasn't female. Not because of society but because it natural felt wrong.
Cindy Swadling yeah i guess its important to highlight that alok's experience of transness isn't every trans persons experience
Meredith Williams yeah, I think I'm a little unusual in that I mostly identify with gender fluid people like Ruby Rose but I'm a trans woman.
Cindy Swadling how so? with how she presents? (if you dont mind explaining)
Yeah exactly, and also like I feel kinda indifferent about gender I'm only trans because my body felt wrong before.
I wasn't born in the wrong body, I was born in the wrong world.🥺
The poem at the end is absolutely beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes. Alok you have so much courage, you are beautiful.
"I'm really invested in kindness! I think it's really radical!"
YES!
A kindred spirit.
No matter how many crystals you use you will never be able to heal yourself
A men wanting the world to be all about him, what progressive, radical and kind this is, right? Specially when he claims that if girls get abused its because they might not be pure, as girls are kinky too, right?
This man excuses abuse on children because "they are not the pure princesses we think" they are kinky too.
In a world that insists on pitting us against each other, kindness is the ultimate rebellion.
This was so wonderfully beautiful, the kind of video where you can't quote it because every word hit you so hard.
I want you to know Alok, if you're reading this, that I just finished listening to your poem and the only sound I've heard as I lie back on my chair for the last few minutes is my fan and even that has been a dull irrelevant whir because your words are so loud. You did that. You're the reason why I feel this special emotion that is above any sort of name, but you know the one. I am forever grateful. You are art.
that's beautiful😊
VERY "deep"
N. Fer. a comment that is beautiful too and describes how heart-stopping Alok's poem is.
Probably wouldn't let him babysit your kids though.
@@casualrenegade8442 shh don't tell the truth.
Wow, so close to tears by this one. What a magical poem. This whole interview was powerful.
The comments on this video aged so well
i want to hug everyone on this channel. this dehumanised world needs more channels like this. god bless you for this. thank you
lexy scissors 😊😊
+lexy scissors yes my thoughts exactly! This channel is a life raft
So much agreement
Congrats, your comment aged like milk :3
@@StyleLikeU1 ¿Why haven't you erased this video? You know pretty damn well that he's a pred -- ador. ¿Are you really that inmoral?
"How many ghosts does it take before a cemetery can call itself a country?" - dang, that really stuck with me.
this individual touched my soul
Oh Lord lol
Lol 😂
Show me where on the doll
He goes outside looking like someone chewed up and then vomited out a clown car but, can't figure out why people look at him funny. Pathetic.
Lmao 😂
one of the most powerful and insightful poetic monologues on the human condition that i've ever heard -
truly a super evolved spirit of higher consciousness on planet earth today
Once again, thank you Stylelikeu for providing a platform for issues like these to be shared with the world. You provoke thought and remind me constantly to look outside of myself and hear someone else's reality. I am constantly reminded when watching your videos that I am not the only person going through a personal struggle in a toxic environment. Alok, you are so courageous and I admire your strength in your journey. This is, what's underneath.
9:38 for those who keep coming back to this for the poem like myself
"I wasn't born in the wrong body, I was born in the wrong world." -Alok Vaid-Menon
"Art is the space we go when language fails us."
Sounds totally stupid
Morrissey would be jealous.
So he should leave lmao.
"your kids are kinky" - Alok vaid-menon
god that poem has made me cry every single time ive watched this video
That poem made me feel so many things...
Is this the same predator that claims girls are kinky and not pure when they get abused?
Just came after Blaire’s video
@@legoshirocha its crazy how many people didn't know that he was a predator till Blaire brings it up.
Yes
Yes.
What?
I have a written out version of this poem that I have re-read so many times and I have listened to Alok speak it over and over and I just can't express how beautifully Alok managed to write this poem. Every time I read it a new part of it comes alive that I hadn't noticed the times before and that is truly amazing. If you thought it was good the first time please keep reading it like wow!
Alok, this is so beautiful. Thank you for continuing to share such beautiful stories, messages, and visions to the world. Something I admire the most about you is your ability to speak about some of the most terrifying, violent, unacceptable systemic ideas, structures, and behaviors with a lot of humility, love, and even forgiveness. I think you embody a gentleness that many others often cannot express because the daily pain and oppression hurts so much. You have taught me to see the gray area more and not fear it, even from a urgent justice-oriented lens. I hope there is a lot of abundant love in your life.
that poem brought me to tears . you need to be published please i need a book of you in my room
That was absolutely Incredible! From the minute this started I was captivated and emersed with those words. The poem at the end gave me such chills and perspective. Seriously an inspiring person!!
Alok is gorgeous and that smile is just so radiant and infectious. Love him. Delightful. It breaks my heart, the amount of people who consider suicide an answer. It really hurts me when I hear these stories - it feels like choking and nausea and such heartbreak. Then the tears come.
I would be dead without my daily binge watch of these style like u videos! I am insecure yet find great security and love in these understanding beings...I cannot thank everyone at stylelikeu enough for changing my life and providing me the confidence to embrace my gender and sexuality in authenticity! THANKYOU Alok, THANKYOU Shannon Clagett, THANKYOU Io Tillet Wright, THANKYOU Kathy Cooper and generally thankyou to the inspirational mother and daughter behind these cameras!!! :p :D
I'm just about to start my menswear graduation collection based on transgender people and society norms. This made me extremely emotional. What a beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing your story, I love your poetry and activism.
This installment was particularly incredible. I feel like I have learned so much in 14 minutes.
That poem was unbelievably powerful. I will definitely have to hunt down more of Alok's work now... they're an amazing poet.
this is so beautiful. the poem, his story, everything. (also i live for their outfit)
That was incredibly beautiful yet heartbreakingly real. Your poem brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing, Alok.
Wow, these are some really powerful words. "The world I'm fighting for is where we stop making assumptions around everything; where we allow people to self-narrate their bodies."
Wow that was deep! The spoken words left me breathless. My mom gave me a necklace that read," In this world but not of it"! We have to continue to love ourselves as much as we can and surrounded by those whose rep for us. Peace
“Unless we liberate both perpetrators AND victims of violence, we’re stuck in the same system”
such a misunderstood, poignant truth.
Alok truly blows me away. What a wonderful, powerful human they are.
Never heard that Truth before? ...Wow.
@@peterjanssen5901 Sure I have. I was pointing out how succinctly and powerfully Alok articulated this truth. However, this is not obvious to many- which is why we are continuing in the circumstances that we are. If you shame people for learning and moving forward, they will stay in the dark. Do better.
People don't want to change, grow and move forward. They want to jog in place and see slogans & platitudes speed by giving the illusion of progress. Most people experience truth as a burden, that can't be molly coddles like their beloved exhibitionist suffering.
And I would never shame people, Oh dear no, I like people to grow....like tumors, twist themselves into knots like sickly trees. I love grotesques.
I always like to "Do badder" that's my motto. ;)
@@peterjanssen5901 yikes.
I LOVE THIS FUCKING CHANEL SO MUCH
That was one of the most moving thing I have seen in a long time, thank you.
This is beautiful. Thank you for this wonderful series. So empowering.
I keep coming back to this video over and over again. I learn so much by Alok's words and their poetry breaks my heart in all the right ways
This is so intensely beautiful, his poetry made me need to hug myself. I vow to stand up to harassment and live more kindly.
As a trans person I thought I knew everything but this individual just made my brain cells explode thankyou so much 💓😭😭
That Poem was so beautiful, So powerful, so magical, it really touched me. Truly a gifted human being.
This person is excellent to see! If I saw someone walking down the street like this, it would make me so happy...and instantly make my outfit look dull! I really love what he was explaining about the "male terrorist" image. Break it down!! This person is BRILLIANT.
their poem was absolutely incredible. these videos have inspired me so much as well as taught me about people I've yet to encounter. thank you!
thank you for sharing something that is so important yet is still dangerous to share. thank you for standing up for all of us! You're so breathtaking and so beautiful.
Thank you for bringing more beauty to a world which sometimes denies to see it
So happy to hear someone say they are not woman or man, but something other. It is so silly to try and limit oneself to just two genders and try to compensate for whatever one feels is "missing". Since there are at least six biological sexes (XX, XY, XXX, XXY, XYY and the very rare XXXY) on earth why should there only be two genders?
y tho
???????
WHY? who cares if we are all on a spectrum. it's pure nonsense to think there are no poles or overlap.
This is the most beautiful person I have ever seen! Alok is such an amazing poet and is soooo inspiring!!!!
No words can describe how amazing his story and message is. I stumbled upon this channel by accident. I honestly don't know how I could've have missed something like this! You guys are really amazing!!
That poem was so so beautifully written and chillingly true . thank you .
OMG, yes. Finally somebody said it... women do patriarchy as well. I have been struggling to explain this to my female! friends for the longest time! I am not saying we should all go full sisterhood on each other, but sometimes I wish other women in my life would think about their actions and what they perpetuate.
Also, big fan of the channel and the work!! woop woop :)
so a woman can't "do patriarchy".. like if she completely wants to be subordinate to a male she can't because it's gender binary conforming?
Omar Ibrahim no, they can do that. i/we might not like it, but they can do that.
if i remember this video correctly, i think i was refering to the patterns that we pick up from society (speech, behaviour etc.) and just repeat, without thinking about it. but some of these patterns are a bit... problematic. i think that's what i was on about, but it's been a year, i don't really remember what my thought process was.
ladydevlish Everyone (unfortunately) are by-products of the patriarchy, it is only determined by how much you let it influence your life. As a cisgender woman, from a very young age it was drilled into me that strangers (especially men) were predatory and it was *my* responsibility to protect myself from being assaulted or attacked. We are taught to fear the Ed Kempers in the world - but not to look at the people within our lives who are statistically more likely to sexually assault or murder us. We are taught - be afraid of the boogey man dressed up in high heels, because he is the predator, that his only purpose in the bathroom is to prey on me and children... the same rhetoric taught when segregation started to end - people of all races sharing the same space, surely black people would hurt us?! Meanwhile, everyone in a public bathroom is trying to take a private shit waiting for their stall's companion to leave so you can relax and let go...
It isn't right, but for many people they don't investigate things. They aren't curious enough to even listen to someone else to even respect their autonomy or personal expression. Women don't benefit from patriarchy but unknowingly live in the comfort of it. Most men don't benefit from patriarchy - not really, to live holding up the guise of masculinity is painful and those who do benefit, they are usually oppressing their friends, family, society and themselves. Imagine having to constantly feel the need to reaffirm your masculinity to complete strangers by having a disgusting disregard to others because of their race or style or expression!?
I dunno, I just wonder why people have to be so mean. Isn't is nice to be nice? Didn't these people watch Mr. Rogers and know that people loved them for them, that we are all neighbours?
Anyways, I certainly hope you have a good day and maybe one day your friends will understand.
(EDIT: sorry, didn't realize the OP comment was 2 years old - in context, Alok was discussing an incident when an older woman harassed them for attending the women's bathroom and related that women can be perpetrators of the patriarchy.)
Alok, stay as marvelous as you are. We need more people like you to make the world a better place.
Just keep him away from children
@@PepsiMagt Would you care to explain why, or is this completely random?
@@charliegreen1737 Alok is a raging peterfile
Hit me like a ton of bricks, ur poem was the energy surged to my lightbulb....thank you
The tie they made between misogyny and transmisogyny was flawless! Intersectionality solves so much.
This world is better for having people like Alok in it. Thank you SO much for this video. :)
Literally sitting here in tears over how God created such a beautiful soul. You are literally art. So naturally radical. My heart is so warm.
Woowwww this actually made me reconsider getting laser hair removal for my facial hair as a trans feminine non binary person, they made me realize that indeed I have no problem with how my body is, but how society perceives it and categorizes it as something inherently male, and that why I want to transition is to pass socially and feel more safe within this cisheteronormative society.
get it removed
Do what you would feel most yourself afterwards. You deserve to be cohesive within yourself. Are you ok?
That poem was extraordinary.
OMG THAT POEM!!!! wow. that was just so beautiful.
I'm so glad I watched you Alok. So much teaching coming from you. Styleyoulike you must continue offering this platform. We need it.
I have this on repeat. There's so much love in this interview.
"I was not born in the wrong body, I was born in the wrong world' This speaks so much truth. We can learn a lot from her.
Fatima Hashi them*
Wow! Extraordinary. Thanks so much. Greetings from Winnipeg, Canada.
This is powerful!! Thank you Alok, for sharing your experience, your politics and your beautiful poem. Much love to you!
Didn't know I could have a favorite, I've loved hearing the stories of all the participants in What's Underneath, but I think this is it.
I've never heard a poem that ever moved me more. So beautiful x
OMG
My mind/soul is blown away...
It is years later (7?,its 2022),how is Alok doing? You should revisit these folks from your beginning!
Alok is stunningly beautiful, and a magical poet!
One of my favorite so far. It was incredibly moving and amazing.
Alok is truly one of a kind. How incredibly fortunate we are to be here watching him live so boldly. .
Amazing Alok! You are wonderful and I wish safety and love. That person that stopped the train, was a friend.
I love everything about what you are saying Alok!!! I have had similar conversation with so many wonderful cis-gender friends. I share with them the perspective that Trans & Non-binary people are heroes of freedom for everyone. Because whenever anyone is brave enough to be authentic/healthy, to peacefully stand up for their rights, to end repression, then simultaneously we are all made more free!
It is important to understand that we don't need to be the specifically the same (I.E.: race, gender, culture, orientation) to be on the same side of freedom for everyone. For example: Black Lives Matter should be an important issue to everyone, as a powerful way to support human rights for all. Because Black Lives Matter is a human rights issue (not just a minority or Black issue). Likewise, Trans-rights are a human rights issue, because we are all unique and even a White Cis-gender male is being repressed by heavy restrictions in gender roles.
For example most Cis-men’s mental-health is being harmed everyday by society’s view that men must repress their emotions, otherwise they are seen as emasculated (through the perspective of gender repression). This results in the silent suffering of all men who experience: depression, anxiety, and stress. Which in turn affects how we (as men) interact in our relationships with others. Gender Repression affects men's (and all other gender's) overall quality of life. ...Which also harms family systems. For example: when fathers are extremely depressed or overwhelmed with back-logged emotions, their ability to be the kind of compassionate/healthy fathers that they want to be, is dimensioned in proportion to how emotionally overwhelmed they are.
Gender repression has the intense side-effect of creating emotional repression for men, so a lot of men often struggle with being able to process and release stress. I only bring up this particular example to acknowledge human/societal suffering with compassion (not to criticize men). I really feel that most men want to be compassionate and healthy, but most men are sabotaged by emotional/gender repression, so we haven't known how to cultivate as much empathy for others, because we are enculturated to repress emotion so heavily. This is just one example of many. Each unique gender identity experiences its own specific gender repression and pain. Each example could be illustrated and deserves respect/compassion. I only brought up cis-men, because I think it is particularly helpful to point out how even cis-men are liberated by Trans and Non-binary rights. ...Which many men may not realize. So I think it can be a great way of starting to create healthy conversations that create perspective shifts that support all minority rights.
There are endless examples of how forcing inauthentic/repressive roles onto people, creates serious mental illness issues for all people in general. So protecting any minority’s rights is also protecting everyone’s rights/health indirectly, and improves quality of life for everyone. We are only collectively as free/healthy, as how we treat those that have the least rights in our society. How can I feel free and safe? ...if my neighbors that are minorities are being systematically harmed and harassed by police. I can’t feel good about living in a country like that. Besides on the long run, when we create human rights loop-holes, they can be exploited in unpredictable ways, against any other group as well. America as a whole, needs to start seeing these minority rights issues as being human rights issues for everyone. That’s when things will get better.
his spirit GLOWS SO BRIGHTLY.... :)
A friend told me too look you up. I feel so lonely in my life as if I won’t ever matter again. Coming out as trans for me was coming out as irrelevant a big “this has all been a huge misunderstanding” moment. I wish that you made me feel less alone, but you did make me feel understood. I’ve had some of those same experiences and feelings as what you described. I’m grateful for your continued work and commitment towards kindness. The way you measure and weigh your words. My life is not glamorous as a trans person the way it’s so often portrayed. But that’s cause trans femme folks don’t get portrayed without the glitter and shine of fame and success. I’m just some broke and broken girl in LA trying to put pieces together. I want to be loved and get the chance to love again. For what it’s worth, thank you for being yourself before me.
All of these are so deep, and after watching you have this sort of drive and confidence, being genderfluid myself, I can relate to a few of these people and it's so motivational to hear their stories.
This opened my eyes.
Thanks!
This was so brilliant! So eloquently spoken and pure from the soul. I feel like I had a hundred epiphanies in less than 15 minutes.
"How many souls does it take for a cemetery to call itself a nation."
Such truth...
P.S and, I am LIVING for the neon green you painted your toe nails in.
I'm legit gonna watch this video 10x and take notes AND SPREAD ALOK's WORDS omg
OK. Wow. I'm going to have to watch this one a few times to fully absorb what Alok is saying. Alok is a beautiful human being. I plan to check out Dark Matter. Thanks for this series. I am touched and saddened and hopeful.
Great person. I'm sure it's wonderful to have Alok as a friend.
It looks exhausting.
@@MustyUnderboob Lol exactly my thoughts too, as a gay man, myself
Lol this didn’t age well ....
Not if you have children
i need this human being in my life. what a beautiful soul
I have no words to explain how I feel... ur poem touched my heart.. we need more people like you in this cruel world full of hypocrites. Hats off to you and your attitude towards life. 😊
"People would come up to me and say why do all Indian people smell bad? Why are you all, like, dirty? ...I kept on washing my hands but this brown wouldn't come off of me. I grew up feeling ugly because I was brown. I thought brown people could never be desirable, could never have sex. I thought we were all ugly and we all needed to be white to be beautiful." I guess we were supposed to focus on the gender aspect of this, but, as a brown woman in North America, I really identified with these words. I've been told all those things, I've felt all those things, and NOBODY in my experience has ever talked about it like it was a problem before. It is a comfort to know I'm not the only one to acknowledge how fucked up it was.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this channel.
same :')
I'm just like, damn. This was incredible
This was very powerful i cried if only people would think this way and be more accepting to each other. thank you for this
This was a phenomenal interview. I wish there were even more dialogue with them.
why would you give this thing a platform after what he said about little girls ?..
Wow thank you for this!!
Wow, I completely, wholeheartedly changed my perspective. Thanks!
+Conditional Lover about what?
I cant even describe how much i love her. Thank you for not dying . Thank uou for waking up everyday and keeping the power up. You are an amaizing human being 💖
AWesome story, stay strong, as a woman who just happens to be trans, i'm far simpler, since coming out my spiritual side has come forward cause i'm not hiding or trying to be something i'm not and really never was. I'd rather read, look at art or do yoga or meditate. So my style is simple so i can focus on those things, but i love your fashion.
Your story hits me hard, growing up in a small conservative town, i didn't know why i was different, and when i finally did encounter the none binary i had responsibilities and was fearful i'd loose that so i kept myself in the closet, eventually take a belt to my own neck, and so glad i failed at this one thing in my life i set out to do. Life is so much more amazing, i agree with everything you said, but i am at the point of going i am me, and i am a she-her-hers-miss, i am daughter and i am a sister, and i don't take shit and think pink is not weak but beautifully strong.
thanks for sharing and keeping strong alok you rock, for me i want to change parts of me and thats my choice, rock that sexy beard if thats what you choose and respect those whom choose what they want even if its not your choice, just respect and love one another.
thank you for your series it's amazing, I practice Buddhism, and there is a story in which a mother ask the Buddha to killer her so essentially it won't count against her rebirth. The Buddha says, okay, i'll do it, but you must collect 1 grain of rice for 10 people whom have never experience pain or suffering or loss. Long story short, some time later the Buddha bumps into her and she doesn't have ten grains because everyone experiences loss and pain but we need to express that and let other know this completely human. I love these, and i do feel bad but also filled with joy to hear these stories of suffering but also joy from their experiences that have shaped these people to better individuals not just for themselves but others. As a woman whom just happens to be transgender, and did not grow up in a queer positive confirming environment, finally accepting whom i am and and always was, while i never did it before or tried not to, but for sure now I always judge from the inside out. What you look like doesn't matter to me on the outside its the person on the inside that is of significance to me. I had a friend with a facial deformity say, Annae, why is it that those of us whom don't fit the norm usually seem so kind and not to judge? maybe its cause we have experienced being judge unfairly by those whom fit the norm and have experienced that our outsides don't match our inside and don't want to ever do that to someone else. Thank you for this wonderful series, lots of love, Annae.
Kindness shouldn’t have to be a radical idea. Our society has become so polarized that there’s no tolerance for anyone outside of the boundaries (artificially created). All love and support to you - I am an ally.
“Objective biology”? Gender and it’s roles are largely social constructs. And the science behind gender is fast evolving. Either way, how does anyone’s gender identity infringe on another human being??
i am looking back and hearing someone say 9 years ago what i've been desperately hoping people around me will understand today
I suppose it is my generation that I was a little shocked by his appearance. Then he started talking and I found I was thinking what a beautiful person...not beautiful man....not beautiful woman but what a beautiful person. Even at 70 a mind can change.
Incredible!! Thank you all.
The only thing left is to say that this, this here, is one of the most powerful things I have ever seen. I am in utter awe.
I cherish this video and this person and this channel and I want to be more like them. This is what beauty, purity, spirituality, love, and faith look like. This video has touched me. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. This was beautiful in every way
Wow! Their poem was incredible! So poignant and razor sharp in its observation and critique of society and the horrific pain it inflicts on those who just want to live, learn, laugh, and love as their true authentic self!
I can only utter a simple "oh my gosh!" Thank you StyleLikeU and Alok Vaid-Menon for the wisdom, inspiration and chills at 3AM.
The poem gave me chills. Funny thing is, Alok has more courage, authenticity and boldness than the haters who try to dismiss his/her being as being weak, 'fake' or weird. Alok deserves ALOT of respect because to still be yourself in a world that tries to outcast you, erase you, suppress you and ostracize you is what I consider a REAL, BOLD, BADASS PERSON.
I've been following you since my stay in residential eating disorder treatment last summer...You are poetry in motion. 🖤 Thank you for existing in this world as you are, your strength and advocacy are beyond healing, and your insight......fucking takes my breath away... I'd never contemplated how women Absolutely contribute, empower, and perpetuate patriarchal ideals.. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🖤🖤🖤🖤
How much more interesting and colorful life would be if everyone could be who they are meant to be! But, I didn't always feel this way, because I was raised in Central California in the 60's, where people hid who they were. We were mean in whispers, jokes, and sneers. It took me the transition of the new millennium to know I was the bigot, and I needed to change. I needed to be accepting. I needed to celebrate our differences. Now my eyes are wide open, and life is more exciting and peaceful. So, I guess you might say I am a trans, because I transitioned from bigot to celebrating equality and being kind. -- Carol Green, Retired California Teacher and Heterosexual