what you said about adhd really hit home. i went off my meds during the pandemic bc of lots of life changes happening at once. and i thought, maybe i wont need meds if i can just fix myself, if i can just “overcome” my adhd. it resulted in so much anxiety & self hatred. the past two years has been me coming to accept that i cant beat the adhd out of me. it’s just a part of me & something i have to live with, in a society that wont always understand my needs. and it is what it is
as a person who has many severe ADHD symptoms, and has recently started medication--this is the kind of thing i think about a lot. it's like i'm looking for any reason to convince myself of my own inferiority--holding myself to impossible standards, towards goals that are mostly meaningless. whereas when i learn to accept my "slow" days, my "laziness" etc. and bring myself to a place of acceptance and joy, i'm more productive and successful anyway--at least in part because it doesn't matter enough to me to make me extremely stressed and desperate about it
@@elliotsangestevez I just got diagnosed with ADHD and actually I stumbled upon this video when trying out new meds (I hoped they'd help me do my hw, they haven't). Honestly I just want to say that... you said it. You articulated everything I've been feeling for so many years, and actually taught me stuff. I thought I was self aware. But ironically, this doesn't solve the problem of the fact that we still live in a society. I've been burnt out and depressed because I'm in college. I need my degree... kinda. I want a degree. Even though the stuff I want in life has nothing to do with the degree I'm aiming for, I know that I am physically capable of getting the degree (engineering) if I apply myself (which I am not). But I want to become a flight attendant. I want to make enough money to be comfortable. I never thought about competing with the joneses. Heck I don't even need a lot of money because I don't feel the need to compete with others, and I never needed a large house, or even a house by myself. I'm fine with just a room. This is the first time I have seriously contemplated dropping engineering. I've joked about it before, but I know I can get the degree, part of me wants to get it to say I've gotten it. But I don't want to do engineering. I want the engineering paycheck for sure, but I also just want to be a flight attendant, travel, enjoy the world. I want to work with many languages and cultures. I do love money, I picked engineering because if gives me money, but maybe I should just work with money? heck if I drop engineering, I could easily double major in buis econ and communications or something that could get me a job with cultures. I've been pushing myself so hard, and not wanting to fell like I failed from getting a degree I know I'm physically capable of getting. Doing the hardest one for the sake of achievement, but all I've been doing is being depressed. Feeling worthless and hopeless because I'm dragging everyone down since I can't get the work and studying done that I need to. And despite knowing that overworking oneself is bad, I can't not ever work. Everyone says I should get a degree, and I know I should. If I drop out there's no going back. But honestly, I was the one pushing myself and breaking myself trying to get the hardest degree, when every fiber of my being, every self aware part of me that knows this is a machine, that knows I can game it if I play my cards right, that knows the irony of being self aware. I'm so self aware, and I see the machine so clearly that I don't want the end goal, I don't want the "success" the big house, the fancy car, the "perfection". Yet I'm still pushing myself, simply because I can. I'm capable of it. It is possible. idk where I'm going with this anymore, I just know that it's been 3 quarters and I still haven't learned college physics, I dropped it once, I barely passed thanks to a curve, and now I'm in the next higher class and I still don't know wtf we are doing because I don't attend lecture (what's the point, I'm already lost) and we are building on top of stuff I was supposed to learn and mastered months ago. I guess I fear that if I drop engineering, I'd never get an engineering degree again. Not that I guess I ever needed one because I don't like engineering. But the fact you got the degree is a "achievement" which is looked highly upon in this society, I needed it to play the "game" of this world so that any job I got in the future would be easier because I had the uber hard degree, even if that degree has nothing to do with whatever job I was planning on getting. sorry this got ranty. But after multiple therapists (all telling me the same thing of getting the degree, but none questioning why I should stick with engineering), experimenting with adhd meds, I got the answers to my life questions from a youtube video. So thank you.
The pandemic was a catalyst to realize how our system is so broken and detrimental to us as persons. It should be a push to change the system. Not to mention the definition of success prevalent in society now. If your "achievement" isn't profit driven, it's set aside or ridiculed or seen as useless.
The pandemic helped me realize that I wouldn't be able to pursue my passions being stuck at a dead-end job and allowed me the time to develop my skills.
"Oh. I just found out that I have ADHD. Now I just gotta do this, this, and this. And then I'll be a great worker." Ah, that shit hurt. Crazy thing is that I think my therapists have been trying to tell me not to go down that path and I could not understand why they were against it. Until now.
I got teary while watching this bc my bf struggles SO MUCH with self hatred based on achievements, and this is exactly what I’ve been trying to tell him. Gonna watch this with him later
I'm 37, word of warning -- I burnt out in my 20s, ignored it and pushed through, and by 35 I had a massive physical breakdown from years of chronic stress (then I got a big virus that broke me and now I can't walk or read). Also got diagnosed with autism ADHD that year, never suspected I wasn't "normal. The mental state started years before but everyone has anxiety and depression now and you still have to pay the rent so you can't stop for that... Chronic stress is *really* dangerous for your autonomic nervous system, that's a massive part of ME/CFS /Long Covid and permanent disability...
A song that came to mind a lot with this video is BTS' "Dis-ease", which feels pertinent in more ways than one. BTS' relationship with work as a theme in their music is an interesting one.
"Is life sports? No. If life were sports, you would never be happy" literally laughed out loud so hard at this. Such an underrated statement - it's SO TRUE. So much of my personal "hustle mentality" evolved from a toxic relationship to exercise, (think, go hard or go home) which ended up in burnout in all areas of my life INCLUDING, unironically, the gym. Just found you today, I am enamoured, keep up the great work!
I'm working full time in analytics at the same time as going to grad school full time for a double masters in finance and business analytics. The pandemic caused my team to move remote, which made it possible for me to do it in addition to grad school. It's great to be able to pay my bills while in school, but wow I am EXHAUSTED. I just want to do nothing. I really do. My "breaks" from work are when I do school work. My breaks from school work are when I'm doing work. My breaks from those things are when I'm doing chores. It's too much, sometimes I can't keep up and I feel ashamed.
I feel you, I went through 4 and a half years of full time employment and part time studies, with overtime work to boot! Even now I still feel so tired from all the other things that I'm doing in life.
I always leave your videos with something new to think about and explore. The need to constantly improve touches every part of life. It’s weird how just having someone say it’s ok to not exploit yourself allowed me to fully breath for a moment. If that makes sense, like a load being made lighter even if for a moment.
I'm late to this video, but I loved it. The "immunity" framing of positivity and negativity is so interesting and I've never thought of it that way before but it makes sense. The section on neurodivergence was soooo relatable. As an autistic person, I suck at multitasking so I'm always perpetually behind. In high school, that combined with other factors spiraled into depression and severe burnout. Having a diagnosis was helpful, of course, but it didn't make me feel better about myself because I kept failing again and again. Add onto that the curse of being a "gifted" kid and you get a great recipe for self hatred. Since then, I've taken a turn in the opposite direction where I'm more forgiving of myself and don't try as hard. On the one hand that's better, because I'm less miserable. On the other hand I feel totally called out when you said neurodivergence is not a "free card" because now I overly justify doing nothing or engaging in unhealthy behaviors (such as losing sleep to write unnecessarily long TH-cam comments). So thanks for the reminder. Anyways, I'm grateful to you for always making videos that are both thought provoking and empathetic. I hope more people find your channel because you deserve it.
Omg 😳 don't beat urself up too much. I stay up late too and write and read the other people writing long comments. 😆 And fixing all my spelling errors. Let's all try to sleep a little bit earlier. For our brain's sake.
I've noticed myself becoming more isolated over the years. And, while some of that has to do with personal traumas, learning I am neurodivergent and coping with all that entails, and so much more--I can honestly say some of it has been because I have been having more shutdowns, burnouts, and meltdowns because of the capitalist pressures I have to hear constantly as a neurodiverse and disabled person. Especially since I am disabled due to chronic illness, and it is invisible to most a majority of the time. A lot of my goals are just...to decorate a space for me that I can escape to. Having my sensory needs met, and being able to find and attain food that doesn't make me sick. (Since a lot of chemicalization and processed foods with artificial dyes and such make me sick. I'm talking flu-like symptoms and immobility within days of consumption.) I just wanna exist, feel happy, and be able to make the things I can to help myself and others enjoy life. I love crafting and I just wanna do that as I learn.
talking about megan's song really reminded me of txt's track on their latest album (which i know is about going through heartbreak and whatnot just hear me out ) the song is called "trust fund baby" where they're devastated about not being able to meet certain expectations and how that correlates to the title track "good boy gone bad" where they're done trying and wasting their breath and take on this "toxic" persona and even the lyrics and visuals in the mv were really jarring and a lot darker than usual. (Ofc that's my own interpretation of them just thought that was worth mentioning lol)
This realisation has been hitting me over the head over and over the last years. I actually kind of miss the beginning of the pandemic - or at least how much empathy everyone in my work circle suddenly seemed to have for each other, how low the expectations were and how weirdly connected I felt to everyone. All of that is lost now, there is more pressure to perform than ever. And I've noticed almost EVERYONE around me being tired, angry, overwhelmed, but everyone finds different reasons why they're feeling like that. I'm not buying anymore that our struggles are individual.
love how u brought astrology into this!! also w neurodivergence, it’s been so important for me to recognize that the standards i was holding myself to aren’t sustainable. its okay to not be able to do some things!! that’s why we have communities!!
Great video as always and always remember that your worth is not your role in the capitalism :) With the doctor K bit I kind of always interpret his advices as "what can you do in today's situation of capitalism to make it bearable at the very least since as a person yourself cannot change the world overnight" cause I do remember that in his recent videos he mentioned that sometimes you are justified in feeling depressed and angry with the state of the world today and it's not always the mental illness/chemical balances, especially with the rise in stats in recent years.
yeah dr. k is 100% based i really like him. but i do think at times his unwillingness to provide social or political commentary--which is totally understandable--as well as try to generate capital through the channel, hinders some of the messages because it allows the channel to feel like more of a "the bad stuff is in you" type of thing
Hi Elliot! I'm here to say that I found your video healing, and I appreciate your content more than you can even imagine. I agree that it does feel as you said, and I think we should always be critical of the content we watch, especially in a capitalist framework. I've watched the series of interviews with SweetAnita, and I suggest you watch it too. It's very interesting. In one of the videos, the streamer pointed out that she's not the one who should change (she was talking about misogyny and people, specifically men, treating her poorly), and Dr. K said that he has to believe there's hope that something can be done about the situation without substantially changing yourself or thinking you're wrong if you feel angry. I believe that's something really important and also political to say. We must believe we're not hopeless, or else we lose our will to live, and may I add, capitalism wins. This translates into so many things, and personally, I feel like this reignited not only my will to live but also my will to change my immediate surroundings whenever I can and whenever I see that my anger is justified - which is also the same anger that a lot of other people have. We can find strength in community and maybe even change the world for the better if we have the platform, ability, and privilege to do so, also remembering that the personal is political. Just like this famous quote referred to women's issues, I think it can be applied to mental health issues as well.
That intermission was a nice touch, gave me time to think about what was being said and breath cause I wasn’t breathing while your were talking. I was so focused and absorbing these concepts.
Thanks for another amazing video, elliot. Sums up everything i've been feeling strongly for the past 2 and a half yrs, but have always felt in the back of my mind since I was young. I actually wrote my senior essay on this in high school, as i had (and still have) severe burn out for lack of a better term for this weird feeling. However, i had no idea how deep this subject could rlly get. I've always, since I was in elementary school, thought that constant work with a fixed repetitive schedule was simply just not for me. As time passed, i developed depression anxiety and recently just found out that i probably have adhd too. Its like a light has been shed on my life, making me realize that "capitalism is the root of all the worlds problems" is not just a saying, but its something thats so real. This attitude of working all the time and always been busy, always bettering yourself in someway, is something that has done nothing but perplex and discourage me-- human beings are just not meant for such a lifestyle. I hope I can find a way to break out of my state of not wanting to do anything. I wonder if it is even possible at all to distance oneself from this capitalistic machine of upwards motion.
ENYONAM! thank you so much for your comment. i think it's possible to take some degree of agency, but only in understanding that we can't simply liberate ourselves--our liberation is linked with everyone else's. rather than focus on our individuality, we should focus on living more compassionately, building more community, and helping make things better one small step at a time for each other, while letting go of the desire to judge
I don’t why this really sparked something in me. I’ve been feeling this way for such a long time! Not depressed enough to stay in bed but going to school and having to put up w/ life’s demands would instantly put me in a dread. No matter how much I’ve coped with this(taking showers, exercising, mindfulness, meditation). But I think we all just needed to realize how affected we are by are schedules and just say “dam this isn’t healthy and it sucks” for a moment.
I worked as a firefighter\Paramedic for a number of years. Shift work on its own is extremely exhausting, and on top of that it seemed to be a competition between the boomers to be the most tired, or who slept the least. It was like working with a bunch of dads that would say you shouldn’t be tired because….
Really like that you put an intermission part in it. I don't often pause a video, and this challenged me to take the time to reflect on your points and have my own thoughts on it
In the documentary that the clips were from, Byung-Chul Han talks about "Momo" by Michael Ende, which I read for the first time as a child. Highly recommend it to anyone, especially if you find stories easier to digest than philosophical jargon (btw, that passage cited in the beginning is SO much harder to understand in English than German, Jesus!) - also, it's very touching. This is an amazing video Elliot! I disagree a tiny bit with your conclusion, I think the solution to a self-circling ego can't be more self-exploration. Imo it needs to be exploration of other things - other people, community, especially - with an acceptance of otherness. But "go be a failure" was something I needed to hear today, thanks :D
@@elliotsangestevez Definitely, I mean insofar as that happens naturally - I've just tried to move away from pursuing it in a structured sense. But will have to let this one marinate for a bit anyway. Also I just saw you in LonerBox' comments, why are you everywhere, ahhh (for real though, LonerBox is great)
honestly i never thought about jujutsu kaisen in that way and it makes me love the series even more LOL this video made me reflect alot on my life and my struggles with burnout and the cyclical nature of avoiding negativity in that way, but never really confronting it. you make alot of poignant, relevant, and relatable points, but they are delivered in such a down-to-earth way. keep up whatever it is you want to do, but also it's cool when there are times you don't. ride your own wave ~
How did I just find your channel. I really like your insightful looks into our society, and psychology and how everything that I've been feeling over the past two years is a result of the society I'm currently living in. I have social anxiety. I thought it stemmed from my past trauma, and maybe some of it is but not all of it. I'm constantly trying and failing to be a better version of myself every day. I'm trying to lose weight. I'm trying to be healthier. I'm sick of being kind and nice to everyone all of the time. I'm constantly being told to sell my art on the side even though I just want to do art because I enjoy it. I thought that these were things that just I was feeling, but, I guess, I'm just one of millions. I recently got a smart phone after vehemently not wanting one for 15 years, so maybe I escaped some of the constant positivity, but I remember getting annoyed with having a facebook, because no one was really "allowed" to post anything real, like real life problems, or bad things happening in their life, and that bothered me. I took a break from it back in 2019, and now I hardly go on there at all. I've always felt weirded out by social media, about how all day long, people stare down at their phones, instead of talking to one another. In my break room at work it's silent. Everyone is engrossed in their phones and I'm just sitting there staring around at everyone like, this is so weird. How did we get here? How is this the new normal? We still don't know what repercussions smart phones and social media will have in the long run, but after only a few years of it, we can already see the negative impact it has had on society as a whole.
This video made me cry not even 5 mins in. It’s nice to hear that others understand or and can at least put words to how you feel when you don’t know yourself how to explain why you feel this way
this video is insanely well done. I don't think I've ever come across a video where I had to pause it to make sure I saved it and liked it and subscribed to your channel
I remember when I was in my tweens feeling so alienated bc it seemed nobody would talk about the negative while I wouldn’t ignore it, I would acknowledge it, which just made me fall deeper as you described. I concluded that something must be wrong with me if I’m the “only” one who felt and thought this way. I’m unlearning so much and this felt so validating. Thank you!
Just discovered your channel. Really inspiring and underrated content. Usually I click away when I see a video is this long because my attention span is ruined, but you left a mark on me. Thank you
You make exactly the type of content I’ve always wanted to make deep down. The intermission, inviting us to take a deep breath is something I’ve thought that would be so nice in videos. For the video to keep going, and the viewer can gather their own thoughts about what is going on. We’re all oneeee
this is such a good video!! i havent wanted to read a book in a long time but i kinda wanna read the book u based this on because this made a lot of sense and opened up a lot for me!!! ive been dealing with not wanting to do literally anything ever for a long time, and knowing its because of toxic positivity helps a lot!! idk what else to say but thank you !!!
im so glad i watched this video, i have so much to discuss in therapy this week now lol- this gave me a lot to think about myself and my world- thank you!
I have watched several of your videos and I love the calm vibe you have when talking about these tough topics, but another thing I like, which is not EXACTLY related to the video ( it kinda is ), is how you tend to give us a heads-up before an ad. Like, it doesn't just pop up unannounced like most videos do and interrupt the speaker's flow of words. of course this is just my opinion and you do you, but I want to get it out that I really appreciate the little heads-ups also if you ever consider start doing anything podcast-y I am full on broad on listening
I've watched a few of your videos by now, and I think you're doing a lot of good in the world :). Unfortunately, I think you're describing the place a lot of us are at these days. At least for me, it's been a relief (a bittersweet one, ofc) to feel I'm not alone here. So thanks for that. And I hope you're taking care of yourself working on all this, and remembering you're more than these videos as well :)
Dude, I have literally been binging your videos for the last couple days and I just assumed you were at like a million subscribers. Your videos are awesome and you're SO underrated!
Subscribed earlier today and bro now I keep getting suggested your videos, and bloody hell you have so much great stuff. Thanks bro. You're a great guy, and you're definitely appreciated over here.
Dude, I found your channel today, and was instantly like...yeah this guy is definitely worth listening to. I vaguely watch shanspeare, as well as many other social thinkers, and the topics brought up are definitley interesting. I think what IMMEDIATELY drew me to you, was this sense of equality you seem to take on when analyzing your own view points. While many may struggle to keep a sense of fairness when they talk about opposing viewpoints, I tend to think that you are just CLUED in. Great work.
I have been watching your videos a lot the past couple of days. Just want to say I find your videos so creative in many ways that would lead to a long comment that I am too tired to write out. So I will end with that I appreciate your videos.
Glad to see criticism of Dr. K, not that he's bad but he himself forgets he comes from a background with money and is basically part of the bourgeoisie
YES thank you, Dr.K has helped so much for me, it's been so valuable and I'm grateful for that, but he does have a very individualistic, idealistic mindset. It's kind of inevitable in a sense, because to an extent that's the nature of psychiatry, to be highly individualistic. He focuses on focusing on what's in your power as an individual, etc etc. And he tries to sometimes acknowledge that that's not exactly the whole picture, but honestly not enough. Apoliticized is the perfect word for it. It's a focus that takes things out of the context of their material conditions. Essentially his job inherently "requires" him to make it apolitical. It's his job to help ppl individually within his and their power, not to debate w them about something or change their beliefs or something, not to just go 'thats capitalism bro, sorry. good luck!'. So to an extent I don't entirely blame him. But it IS a problem, because this IS about politics. It's just another manifestation of the way this society tries to attribute all problems to the individual. Anything but the system itself, amirite? And at the same time, I've heard a lot of people knock psychiatry as a whole, that it's a tool of capitalism, focusing on redirecting/getting rid of negative energy rather than using that negative energy to fuel the people's movements, stuff like that. But to be honest I don't entirely agree either? To a certain extent yes absolutely, but at the same time, just speaking from personal experience, I just CAN'T use my exhaustion and negativity as "fuel". I NEED to emotionally process that so that I have energy to do anything in the first place. Negativity for me is often debilitating. So for some of us it's like, if I don't get mental health treatment I'm gonna be lying in bed doing Nothing, and I'm no use to ANY movement like that. Sorry if this is incoherent rambling, most of my thoughts on this is half-baked, i have adhd and its getting late lmao
This video is so beautifully done my fav part is when u quoted track 3 of Megan Stallion's song honestly resonated with my life being. Keep doing u Elliot
Thank you so much for this video. It resonated with me and put really good explanations to things I just couldn’t verbalize. Thanks I hope I can start working towards being more forgiving to myself . Thanks I loved this video ❤❤❤
Diagnosed at 26 during med school at the beginning of 2020 with adhd and I'm pretty sure i have autism too. And since i am on government help and i don't wanna loose my place in med school i gotta keep going while recovering from what I'm pretty sure is neurodivergent burnout. Yay :) also online courses during lockdown 🫠 Even after all this time now I'm still not 100% but I'm still fighting because what alternative is there? Fighting the shame for "laziness" and failing exams when learning used to not be that hard is still the hardest thing. To accept that it won't go away but just something i will have to work with. With minimal support from state and society. And I'm lucky bc my parents try to help me however they can and i don't have to worry about starving, war etc.... But i try not to lean too much on them because they are so tired too (and probably neurodiverse). And we are immigrants so other family live on a continent an ocean away. And boi the health is absolutely taking Hits bc of all the stress
Woa! I really appriciate the contend you made! I also reat the book "Müdigkeitgesellschaft" of Byung-Chul Han back then and just rewatched the documentary last week. You can explain the connections so well and help to comprehend with additional knowledge! Thank you for that! Funny thing is that the algorithm recommended me a video of yours because I like BTS.^^
Just found your channel and honestly you have great quality editing and just videos in general compared to a lot of other newer channels and I really hope we get to see you collab with some other commentary youtubers in the future👌
It's not about achieving, it's about paying rents, it's a double whammy, you want to over achieve to escape rent, but rent upgrade too when you achieve, so it doesn't matter how much you over achieve, the rent will follow. That's how society keeps you in check.
Hearing this as I overworked exhausted while studing and my ADHD it's making everything harder is certainly something. Accepting that I'm too tired to be perfect, or even enough in all situations in my life it's liberating even when it's hard to accept and it's easier said than done.
Wow… I feel better about myself now, I’ve had a burnout, and autodiagnosed with somekind of neurodivergence since 2020… a lot happened and I’ve been trying out lots of different life choices… it’s such a messy process…. And somehow I’m paying my bills…. I used tô feel like a failure for not prioritizing achieving a career or money security right now… but this is one of the vídeos that reminds me that beeing too “right” in sick society isn’t actually healthy. And that I am part of a mass transformation that we are going trough, so.. thanks 💕
I was feeling completely exhausted and felt like giving up a lot of my hobbies and I didn't quite understand why. God bless the youtube algorithm for sending this video my way. It makes so much sense.
It's interesting because his analogy about immunization at the beginning makes SO much sense. He's basically saying that our mind, much like our bodies, will interact with mental viruses/sickness (the other), and like our bodies if it is not immunized in small doses with that negativity then it will not be strong enough to fight the true forms of negativity when they hit. It's exactly how vaccines work. So essentially he's saying we have not vaccinated our minds over this century because we've shunned negative mental spaces, but we've done so to our own detriment, because now our minds and characters are ill-equipped for them.
I’m an artist with OCD and this video was so helpful for me in understanding and accepting the way I work and the way I create is different and it’s ok. Achievement is great but the most important thing is feeling good when I work and create and refusing to push myself to meet an expectation of someone else (esp someone who isn’t a divergent artist) 😅
Im learning to sit with myself and be bored. My illustration teacher and Dr. K vids have kind of inspired me to sit alone and to actually deal with my stuff. I do however wish i can change external issues without being like...Welp, guess ill move to norway. I think a revolution is coming and somethings going to snap with people and we dont continue to just take the exploitation anymore. Also your videos are super insightful so thank you :)
I'm glad you mentioned HealthyGamerGG, it'd be fascinating to hear your thoughts on this channel. Dr K helped me a lot during my lowest of lows, but I couldn't help but notice something was off sometimes. Now I do begin to see why thanks to you. I don't have the vocab to explain all my thoughts as i'm not a native speaker, but thank you so much for this video.
For me it almost like listening to Jordan Peterson, except you could grasp what he said in words (in Peterson case, I get his idea, but the wording are just off putting), yet for me I didn't feel like I'd learn something about the discussed topic.
For me the main red flag was a hypocrisy. Sort of. I don’t remember where, in the start of his video, or when he talks about ADHD, depression, e.t.c., there is a disclaimer that if you have these problems, it’s better to visit a therapist. But on his website he sells modules on these topics. I’m not familiar with this practice, maybe those were created to deepen knowledge on these topics, but still this ambiguity was odd for me and in part it also felt that this channel was created as an ad And btw, you have still pretty good English. Keep it up
As someone who rarely gets pop culture references, it's wild how I knew every person you referenced in this video - from Megan to JHope to Healthy Gamer GG to Jiujitsu Kaisen lol. Felt seen, hward, and challenged, as always!
Thank you for your wonderfully human perspective on this issue. I feel much better after seeing this. I study Biotechnology and my whole life feels absolutely exhausting.
damn this was a lot but the "when we're extremely tired, we don't think abt this and that bc all we think abt is our tiredness" hits the most. When I was having fun on twitter, I got friends who remember me for me and not for what they need from me, I don't think abt how I will deepen that connection, instead I'm thinking of how I will constantly improve in the aspects of my physical health as well as planning on how I will be a good student and do training in my family business at the same time. When I noticed that my friends don't find me as often as they do back in July-August and I'm back to my old mindsets that I "when people don't find me or talk to me first before I do, they don't want or like me anymore" that's when I realized that I should've deepened my connections with those specific people
Omg when you wave your hands around and say "...because the ideas of bad and good....anyway" made me know that we would 100 percent be friends hahaha idk if that's weird or not but I just know that I have so many similar ideas and imagine we'd have really great discussions about all sorts of intangible social and philosophical topics. Anyway 😅 I'm thoroughly enjoying all of your videos! Thanks for putting your voice out there, it makes me feel less like an alien.
hun, you vocalised all of the problems i’ve been dealing with in the past few years AND proposed a solution (that being a healthier mindset but not in a toxic way) - in just under an hour you did more than my therapist has in a month 😂
I read that book btw, im 39 and have felt 80 yrs old for a few yrs now. And im really sad about that. Especially living in a grind culture society, i feel like i don't fit in. I know i shouldnt feel this tired emotionally but i do and theres nothing to do about it.
My partner has been pushing me SO MUCH to learn French during my "downtime" that I'm actually starting to despise learning the language. There is this pressure to constantly be learning something every waking hour! I now feel guilty when I want to watch TH-cam or just listen to a playlist, my time doesn't feel like it belongs to me anymore.
What a great way to board such an important subject. I can notice how this hits to the generations that are around mine (1994) and how the olders don't because they were programmed to follow the capitalist system. Awesome video.
"now that i found out what the problem with me is, let me figure out how to beat it out of me so i can live up to expectations!" i have never felt so personally called out in my LIFE 😂 i love how you said it's ok to just suck sometimes, i really agree with this and it's encouraging to hear it from other people, feels less lonely.
I work as a choreographer and my best work took MONTHS and YEARS to create. There is often lots of pressure for artists to produce work of equal caliber almost immediately after their initial sucess and it kills many a career imo. I know we aren't all artists, but I think this same pressure probably crops up in all industries and leads to burnout 🤔🤔 . Jimi Hendricks the guitarist, had mental health issues other than burnout 👀👀☝️🤔. But toward the end of this life, you can really feel the pressure he felt to come up with ANOTHER brilliant album right after the first ones. When you read his biography, its very sad to watch how ones' artistic gifts can leave them under this type of pressure 🙃 it was clearly eating away at him before the end. There is nothing wrong with taking your time and letting things develop naturally.
You have no idea how much I needed to read this. I'm in my mid-twenties and my artistic career so far is... lackluster or rather honestly a failure. I'm pursuing stable jobs too of course but the fact that I haven't achieved anything worth something (in the things I wanna do) so far is eating away at me. I can't give up, I don't want to but I kinda also wish I would. Though I keep forgetting that I still have time. That some things didn't work out because it was out of my hands and that this can change.
I feel exactly the same about Dr K. I'm glad I'm not the only one who recognised it. Another point is how this achievement society plays into dating advice. So many people get told they 'need to work on themselves' to find a partner. Even though people in relationships are messy and flawed.
what you said about adhd really hit home. i went off my meds during the pandemic bc of lots of life changes happening at once. and i thought, maybe i wont need meds if i can just fix myself, if i can just “overcome” my adhd. it resulted in so much anxiety & self hatred. the past two years has been me coming to accept that i cant beat the adhd out of me. it’s just a part of me & something i have to live with, in a society that wont always understand my needs. and it is what it is
as a person who has many severe ADHD symptoms, and has recently started medication--this is the kind of thing i think about a lot. it's like i'm looking for any reason to convince myself of my own inferiority--holding myself to impossible standards, towards goals that are mostly meaningless. whereas when i learn to accept my "slow" days, my "laziness" etc. and bring myself to a place of acceptance and joy, i'm more productive and successful anyway--at least in part because it doesn't matter enough to me to make me extremely stressed and desperate about it
@@elliotsangestevez I just got diagnosed with ADHD and actually I stumbled upon this video when trying out new meds (I hoped they'd help me do my hw, they haven't). Honestly I just want to say that... you said it. You articulated everything I've been feeling for so many years, and actually taught me stuff. I thought I was self aware. But ironically, this doesn't solve the problem of the fact that we still live in a society. I've been burnt out and depressed because I'm in college. I need my degree... kinda. I want a degree. Even though the stuff I want in life has nothing to do with the degree I'm aiming for, I know that I am physically capable of getting the degree (engineering) if I apply myself (which I am not). But I want to become a flight attendant. I want to make enough money to be comfortable. I never thought about competing with the joneses. Heck I don't even need a lot of money because I don't feel the need to compete with others, and I never needed a large house, or even a house by myself. I'm fine with just a room. This is the first time I have seriously contemplated dropping engineering. I've joked about it before, but I know I can get the degree, part of me wants to get it to say I've gotten it. But I don't want to do engineering. I want the engineering paycheck for sure, but I also just want to be a flight attendant, travel, enjoy the world. I want to work with many languages and cultures. I do love money, I picked engineering because if gives me money, but maybe I should just work with money? heck if I drop engineering, I could easily double major in buis econ and communications or something that could get me a job with cultures.
I've been pushing myself so hard, and not wanting to fell like I failed from getting a degree I know I'm physically capable of getting. Doing the hardest one for the sake of achievement, but all I've been doing is being depressed. Feeling worthless and hopeless because I'm dragging everyone down since I can't get the work and studying done that I need to. And despite knowing that overworking oneself is bad, I can't not ever work. Everyone says I should get a degree, and I know I should. If I drop out there's no going back. But honestly, I was the one pushing myself and breaking myself trying to get the hardest degree, when every fiber of my being, every self aware part of me that knows this is a machine, that knows I can game it if I play my cards right, that knows the irony of being self aware. I'm so self aware, and I see the machine so clearly that I don't want the end goal, I don't want the "success" the big house, the fancy car, the "perfection". Yet I'm still pushing myself, simply because I can. I'm capable of it. It is possible. idk where I'm going with this anymore, I just know that it's been 3 quarters and I still haven't learned college physics, I dropped it once, I barely passed thanks to a curve, and now I'm in the next higher class and I still don't know wtf we are doing because I don't attend lecture (what's the point, I'm already lost) and we are building on top of stuff I was supposed to learn and mastered months ago. I guess I fear that if I drop engineering, I'd never get an engineering degree again. Not that I guess I ever needed one because I don't like engineering. But the fact you got the degree is a "achievement" which is looked highly upon in this society, I needed it to play the "game" of this world so that any job I got in the future would be easier because I had the uber hard degree, even if that degree has nothing to do with whatever job I was planning on getting.
sorry this got ranty. But after multiple therapists (all telling me the same thing of getting the degree, but none questioning why I should stick with engineering), experimenting with adhd meds, I got the answers to my life questions from a youtube video. So thank you.
PREACH!
The pandemic was a catalyst to realize how our system is so broken and detrimental to us as persons. It should be a push to change the system. Not to mention the definition of success prevalent in society now. If your "achievement" isn't profit driven, it's set aside or ridiculed or seen as useless.
this is so so true
The pandemic helped me realize that I wouldn't be able to pursue my passions being stuck at a dead-end job and allowed me the time to develop my skills.
I turned into a NEET during the pandemic
Lol who are you making up? No one i know sees things as useless just because they dont make money.
@@TwinTails100 W
We live in a society that expects us to be constantly on the grind and it's genuinely exhausting.
"Oh. I just found out that I have ADHD. Now I just gotta do this, this, and this. And then I'll be a great worker."
Ah, that shit hurt. Crazy thing is that I think my therapists have been trying to tell me not to go down that path and I could not understand why they were against it. Until now.
They just didn’t want to admit themselves. No one wants to claim to be a drone in capitalism
I got teary while watching this bc my bf struggles SO MUCH with self hatred based on achievements, and this is exactly what I’ve been trying to tell him. Gonna watch this with him later
much love to you both
I'm 37, word of warning -- I burnt out in my 20s, ignored it and pushed through, and by 35 I had a massive physical breakdown from years of chronic stress (then I got a big virus that broke me and now I can't walk or read). Also got diagnosed with autism ADHD that year, never suspected I wasn't "normal. The mental state started years before but everyone has anxiety and depression now and you still have to pay the rent so you can't stop for that... Chronic stress is *really* dangerous for your autonomic nervous system, that's a massive part of ME/CFS /Long Covid and permanent disability...
Thank you for sharing your story! I've also run into health issues from chronic stress and it means a lot to see others warn people about this!
A song that came to mind a lot with this video is BTS' "Dis-ease", which feels pertinent in more ways than one.
BTS' relationship with work as a theme in their music is an interesting one.
"Is life sports? No. If life were sports, you would never be happy" literally laughed out loud so hard at this. Such an underrated statement - it's SO TRUE. So much of my personal "hustle mentality" evolved from a toxic relationship to exercise, (think, go hard or go home) which ended up in burnout in all areas of my life INCLUDING, unironically, the gym. Just found you today, I am enamoured, keep up the great work!
I'm working full time in analytics at the same time as going to grad school full time for a double masters in finance and business analytics. The pandemic caused my team to move remote, which made it possible for me to do it in addition to grad school. It's great to be able to pay my bills while in school, but wow I am EXHAUSTED. I just want to do nothing. I really do. My "breaks" from work are when I do school work. My breaks from school work are when I'm doing work. My breaks from those things are when I'm doing chores. It's too much, sometimes I can't keep up and I feel ashamed.
I feel you, I went through 4 and a half years of full time employment and part time studies, with overtime work to boot!
Even now I still feel so tired from all the other things that I'm doing in life.
I read a tweet that said "life is not a list of shit you need to get done" and I think that's so important to remember.
I always leave your videos with something new to think about and explore. The need to constantly improve touches every part of life. It’s weird how just having someone say it’s ok to not exploit yourself allowed me to fully breath for a moment. If that makes sense, like a load being made lighter even if for a moment.
ah, anne, always so kind. that first sentence will stick with me so much
Yesss! That part where you said you felt like you had a moment to breath I felt that same way too!
I'm late to this video, but I loved it. The "immunity" framing of positivity and negativity is so interesting and I've never thought of it that way before but it makes sense.
The section on neurodivergence was soooo relatable. As an autistic person, I suck at multitasking so I'm always perpetually behind. In high school, that combined with other factors spiraled into depression and severe burnout. Having a diagnosis was helpful, of course, but it didn't make me feel better about myself because I kept failing again and again. Add onto that the curse of being a "gifted" kid and you get a great recipe for self hatred.
Since then, I've taken a turn in the opposite direction where I'm more forgiving of myself and don't try as hard. On the one hand that's better, because I'm less miserable. On the other hand I feel totally called out when you said neurodivergence is not a "free card" because now I overly justify doing nothing or engaging in unhealthy behaviors (such as losing sleep to write unnecessarily long TH-cam comments). So thanks for the reminder.
Anyways, I'm grateful to you for always making videos that are both thought provoking and empathetic. I hope more people find your channel because you deserve it.
thank you so much!!!
Omg 😳 don't beat urself up too much. I stay up late too and write and read the other people writing long comments. 😆 And fixing all my spelling errors. Let's all try to sleep a little bit earlier. For our brain's sake.
I've noticed myself becoming more isolated over the years. And, while some of that has to do with personal traumas, learning I am neurodivergent and coping with all that entails, and so much more--I can honestly say some of it has been because I have been having more shutdowns, burnouts, and meltdowns because of the capitalist pressures I have to hear constantly as a neurodiverse and disabled person. Especially since I am disabled due to chronic illness, and it is invisible to most a majority of the time.
A lot of my goals are just...to decorate a space for me that I can escape to. Having my sensory needs met, and being able to find and attain food that doesn't make me sick. (Since a lot of chemicalization and processed foods with artificial dyes and such make me sick. I'm talking flu-like symptoms and immobility within days of consumption.)
I just wanna exist, feel happy, and be able to make the things I can to help myself and others enjoy life. I love crafting and I just wanna do that as I learn.
thank you for including an intermission, more info dense videos need this
i'm glad you found it useful!
omg
talking about megan's song really reminded me of txt's track on their latest album (which i know is about going through heartbreak and whatnot just hear me out ) the song is called "trust fund baby" where they're devastated about not being able to meet certain expectations and how that correlates to the title track "good boy gone bad" where they're done trying and wasting their breath and take on this "toxic" persona and even the lyrics and visuals in the mv were really jarring and a lot darker than usual.
(Ofc that's my own interpretation of them just thought that was worth mentioning lol)
thank you for the interpretation! shout out to txt
This realisation has been hitting me over the head over and over the last years. I actually kind of miss the beginning of the pandemic - or at least how much empathy everyone in my work circle suddenly seemed to have for each other, how low the expectations were and how weirdly connected I felt to everyone. All of that is lost now, there is more pressure to perform than ever. And I've noticed almost EVERYONE around me being tired, angry, overwhelmed, but everyone finds different reasons why they're feeling like that. I'm not buying anymore that our struggles are individual.
love how u brought astrology into this!! also w neurodivergence, it’s been so important for me to recognize that the standards i was holding myself to aren’t sustainable. its okay to not be able to do some things!! that’s why we have communities!!
!!!
Great video as always and always remember that your worth is not your role in the capitalism :)
With the doctor K bit I kind of always interpret his advices as "what can you do in today's situation of capitalism to make it bearable at the very least since as a person yourself cannot change the world overnight" cause I do remember that in his recent videos he mentioned that sometimes you are justified in feeling depressed and angry with the state of the world today and it's not always the mental illness/chemical balances, especially with the rise in stats in recent years.
yeah dr. k is 100% based i really like him. but i do think at times his unwillingness to provide social or political commentary--which is totally understandable--as well as try to generate capital through the channel, hinders some of the messages because it allows the channel to feel like more of a "the bad stuff is in you" type of thing
Hi Elliot! I'm here to say that I found your video healing, and I appreciate your content more than you can even imagine. I agree that it does feel as you said, and I think we should always be critical of the content we watch, especially in a capitalist framework.
I've watched the series of interviews with SweetAnita, and I suggest you watch it too. It's very interesting. In one of the videos, the streamer pointed out that she's not the one who should change (she was talking about misogyny and people, specifically men, treating her poorly), and Dr. K said that he has to believe there's hope that something can be done about the situation without substantially changing yourself or thinking you're wrong if you feel angry. I believe that's something really important and also political to say. We must believe we're not hopeless, or else we lose our will to live, and may I add, capitalism wins. This translates into so many things, and personally, I feel like this reignited not only my will to live but also my will to change my immediate surroundings whenever I can and whenever I see that my anger is justified - which is also the same anger that a lot of other people have.
We can find strength in community and maybe even change the world for the better if we have the platform, ability, and privilege to do so, also remembering that the personal is political. Just like this famous quote referred to women's issues, I think it can be applied to mental health issues as well.
“Fuck you, I am not sorry” is a MOOD Elliot🤣👏🏾‼️Great video😁
This is one of the few people on advice/reflection TH-cam that doesn't feel like he is actively grifting
That intermission was a nice touch, gave me time to think about what was being said and breath cause I wasn’t breathing while your were talking. I was so focused and absorbing these concepts.
Thanks for another amazing video, elliot. Sums up everything i've been feeling strongly for the past 2 and a half yrs, but have always felt in the back of my mind since I was young. I actually wrote my senior essay on this in high school, as i had (and still have) severe burn out for lack of a better term for this weird feeling. However, i had no idea how deep this subject could rlly get. I've always, since I was in elementary school, thought that constant work with a fixed repetitive schedule was simply just not for me. As time passed, i developed depression anxiety and recently just found out that i probably have adhd too. Its like a light has been shed on my life, making me realize that "capitalism is the root of all the worlds problems" is not just a saying, but its something thats so real. This attitude of working all the time and always been busy, always bettering yourself in someway, is something that has done nothing but perplex and discourage me-- human beings are just not meant for such a lifestyle. I hope I can find a way to break out of my state of not wanting to do anything. I wonder if it is even possible at all to distance oneself from this capitalistic machine of upwards motion.
ENYONAM! thank you so much for your comment. i think it's possible to take some degree of agency, but only in understanding that we can't simply liberate ourselves--our liberation is linked with everyone else's. rather than focus on our individuality, we should focus on living more compassionately, building more community, and helping make things better one small step at a time for each other, while letting go of the desire to judge
I don’t why this really sparked something in me. I’ve been feeling this way for such a long time! Not depressed enough to stay in bed but going to school and having to put up w/ life’s demands would instantly put me in a dread. No matter how much I’ve coped with this(taking showers, exercising, mindfulness, meditation). But I think we all just needed to realize how affected we are by are schedules and just say “dam this isn’t healthy and it sucks” for a moment.
I worked as a firefighter\Paramedic for a number of years. Shift work on its own is extremely exhausting, and on top of that it seemed to be a competition between the boomers to be the most tired, or who slept the least. It was like working with a bunch of dads that would say you shouldn’t be tired because….
Really like that you put an intermission part in it. I don't often pause a video, and this challenged me to take the time to reflect on your points and have my own thoughts on it
In the documentary that the clips were from, Byung-Chul Han talks about "Momo" by Michael Ende, which I read for the first time as a child. Highly recommend it to anyone, especially if you find stories easier to digest than philosophical jargon (btw, that passage cited in the beginning is SO much harder to understand in English than German, Jesus!) - also, it's very touching.
This is an amazing video Elliot! I disagree a tiny bit with your conclusion, I think the solution to a self-circling ego can't be more self-exploration. Imo it needs to be exploration of other things - other people, community, especially - with an acceptance of otherness. But "go be a failure" was something I needed to hear today, thanks :D
i think you're pretty much right--but self-exploration is a part of that too, in that it dictates how we interact with the exploration of other things
@@elliotsangestevez Definitely, I mean insofar as that happens naturally - I've just tried to move away from pursuing it in a structured sense. But will have to let this one marinate for a bit anyway. Also I just saw you in LonerBox' comments, why are you everywhere, ahhh (for real though, LonerBox is great)
honestly i never thought about jujutsu kaisen in that way and it makes me love the series even more LOL this video made me reflect alot on my life and my struggles with burnout and the cyclical nature of avoiding negativity in that way, but never really confronting it. you make alot of poignant, relevant, and relatable points, but they are delivered in such a down-to-earth way. keep up whatever it is you want to do, but also it's cool when there are times you don't. ride your own wave ~
Learning so much from you, so bright and eloquent and humble at the same time. I shared your link with my son who is about your age.
thank you so much!!! i hope he enjoys
Such a mom comment right here
If my mother sent me a link to a video on this topic, it would be such a deep relief for me.
How did I just find your channel. I really like your insightful looks into our society, and psychology and how everything that I've been feeling over the past two years is a result of the society I'm currently living in. I have social anxiety. I thought it stemmed from my past trauma, and maybe some of it is but not all of it. I'm constantly trying and failing to be a better version of myself every day. I'm trying to lose weight. I'm trying to be healthier. I'm sick of being kind and nice to everyone all of the time. I'm constantly being told to sell my art on the side even though I just want to do art because I enjoy it. I thought that these were things that just I was feeling, but, I guess, I'm just one of millions.
I recently got a smart phone after vehemently not wanting one for 15 years, so maybe I escaped some of the constant positivity, but I remember getting annoyed with having a facebook, because no one was really "allowed" to post anything real, like real life problems, or bad things happening in their life, and that bothered me. I took a break from it back in 2019, and now I hardly go on there at all. I've always felt weirded out by social media, about how all day long, people stare down at their phones, instead of talking to one another. In my break room at work it's silent. Everyone is engrossed in their phones and I'm just sitting there staring around at everyone like, this is so weird. How did we get here? How is this the new normal? We still don't know what repercussions smart phones and social media will have in the long run, but after only a few years of it, we can already see the negative impact it has had on society as a whole.
This video made me cry not even 5 mins in. It’s nice to hear that others understand or and can at least put words to how you feel when you don’t know yourself how to explain why you feel this way
this video is insanely well done. I don't think I've ever come across a video where I had to pause it to make sure I saved it and liked it and subscribed to your channel
I remember when I was in my tweens feeling so alienated bc it seemed nobody would talk about the negative while I wouldn’t ignore it, I would acknowledge it, which just made me fall deeper as you described. I concluded that something must be wrong with me if I’m the “only” one who felt and thought this way. I’m unlearning so much and this felt so validating. Thank you!
Just discovered your channel. Really inspiring and underrated content. Usually I click away when I see a video is this long because my attention span is ruined, but you left a mark on me. Thank you
thank you!!
You make exactly the type of content I’ve always wanted to make deep down. The intermission, inviting us to take a deep breath is something I’ve thought that would be so nice in videos. For the video to keep going, and the viewer can gather their own thoughts about what is going on. We’re all oneeee
this is such a good video!! i havent wanted to read a book in a long time but i kinda wanna read the book u based this on because this made a lot of sense and opened up a lot for me!!! ive been dealing with not wanting to do literally anything ever for a long time, and knowing its because of toxic positivity helps a lot!! idk what else to say but thank you !!!
Your videos are kind embody the kind of discourse I feel like we need. Taking a step back, and leading with empathy.
Your videos help me feel sane. Thank you so much for creating and may you have much success and fulfillment 🙏
im so glad i watched this video, i have so much to discuss in therapy this week now lol- this gave me a lot to think about myself and my world- thank you!
I have watched several of your videos and I love the calm vibe you have when talking about these tough topics, but another thing I like, which is not EXACTLY related to the video ( it kinda is ), is how you tend to give us a heads-up before an ad. Like, it doesn't just pop up unannounced like most videos do and interrupt the speaker's flow of words. of course this is just my opinion and you do you, but I want to get it out that I really appreciate the little heads-ups
also if you ever consider start doing anything podcast-y I am full on broad on listening
I've watched a few of your videos by now, and I think you're doing a lot of good in the world :). Unfortunately, I think you're describing the place a lot of us are at these days. At least for me, it's been a relief (a bittersweet one, ofc) to feel I'm not alone here. So thanks for that. And I hope you're taking care of yourself working on all this, and remembering you're more than these videos as well :)
Dude, I have literally been binging your videos for the last couple days and I just assumed you were at like a million subscribers. Your videos are awesome and you're SO underrated!
I hope you keep doing these videos! it is very well-though and well-made
Subscribed earlier today and bro now I keep getting suggested your videos, and bloody hell you have so much great stuff. Thanks bro. You're a great guy, and you're definitely appreciated over here.
There’s a lot to unpack here, will be thinking about so many of the ideas you raised and will be rewatching this video definitely
so frickin good elliot. especially the part about neurodivergence and anti-work 💜
Dude, I found your channel today, and was instantly like...yeah this guy is definitely worth listening to.
I vaguely watch shanspeare, as well as many other social thinkers, and the topics brought up are definitley interesting. I think what IMMEDIATELY drew me to you, was this sense of equality you seem to take on when analyzing your own view points. While many may struggle to keep a sense of fairness when they talk about opposing viewpoints, I tend to think that you are just CLUED in. Great work.
thank you for the support!
Really appreciate the intermission in the video! Helps me be mindful/have a break from my constant need to have something playing
I have been watching your videos a lot the past couple of days. Just want to say I find your videos so creative in many ways that would lead to a long comment that I am too tired to write out. So I will end with that I appreciate your videos.
Glad to see criticism of Dr. K, not that he's bad but he himself forgets he comes from a background with money and is basically part of the bourgeoisie
great video! really enjoyed the intermission part, made me genuinely smile:)
A fantastic commentary. Some things that definitely I, and probably many others, needed to hear :) ❤
Just, thank you for being here. Really glad I came across your channel. Re-evaluating my entire life right now, lol.
YES thank you, Dr.K has helped so much for me, it's been so valuable and I'm grateful for that, but he does have a very individualistic, idealistic mindset. It's kind of inevitable in a sense, because to an extent that's the nature of psychiatry, to be highly individualistic. He focuses on focusing on what's in your power as an individual, etc etc. And he tries to sometimes acknowledge that that's not exactly the whole picture, but honestly not enough. Apoliticized is the perfect word for it. It's a focus that takes things out of the context of their material conditions.
Essentially his job inherently "requires" him to make it apolitical. It's his job to help ppl individually within his and their power, not to debate w them about something or change their beliefs or something, not to just go 'thats capitalism bro, sorry. good luck!'. So to an extent I don't entirely blame him. But it IS a problem, because this IS about politics.
It's just another manifestation of the way this society tries to attribute all problems to the individual. Anything but the system itself, amirite?
And at the same time, I've heard a lot of people knock psychiatry as a whole, that it's a tool of capitalism, focusing on redirecting/getting rid of negative energy rather than using that negative energy to fuel the people's movements, stuff like that. But to be honest I don't entirely agree either? To a certain extent yes absolutely, but at the same time, just speaking from personal experience, I just CAN'T use my exhaustion and negativity as "fuel". I NEED to emotionally process that so that I have energy to do anything in the first place. Negativity for me is often debilitating. So for some of us it's like, if I don't get mental health treatment I'm gonna be lying in bed doing Nothing, and I'm no use to ANY movement like that.
Sorry if this is incoherent rambling, most of my thoughts on this is half-baked, i have adhd and its getting late lmao
He can't help because he doesn't understand what it's like to be an abject failure.
This video is so beautifully done my fav part is when u quoted track 3 of Megan Stallion's song honestly resonated with my life being. Keep doing u Elliot
Thank you so much for this video. It resonated with me and put really good explanations to things I just couldn’t verbalize. Thanks I hope I can start working towards being more forgiving to myself .
Thanks I loved this video ❤❤❤
I like the segment headers and I love the revival of the intermission, with great music.
Hey man, Seriously thanks for making this video!! It was quite an eye opener
you deserve much more recognition. best thing i’ve heard in i dont even know how long maybe ever ??
Diagnosed at 26 during med school at the beginning of 2020 with adhd and I'm pretty sure i have autism too. And since i am on government help and i don't wanna loose my place in med school i gotta keep going while recovering from what I'm pretty sure is neurodivergent burnout. Yay :)
also online courses during lockdown 🫠
Even after all this time now I'm still not 100% but I'm still fighting because what alternative is there? Fighting the shame for "laziness" and failing exams when learning used to not be that hard is still the hardest thing. To accept that it won't go away but just something i will have to work with. With minimal support from state and society. And I'm lucky bc my parents try to help me however they can and i don't have to worry about starving, war etc....
But i try not to lean too much on them because they are so tired too (and probably neurodiverse). And we are immigrants so other family live on a continent an ocean away. And boi the health is absolutely taking Hits bc of all the stress
Woa! I really appriciate the contend you made! I also reat the book "Müdigkeitgesellschaft" of Byung-Chul Han back then and just rewatched the documentary last week. You can explain the connections so well and help to comprehend with additional knowledge! Thank you for that!
Funny thing is that the algorithm recommended me a video of yours because I like BTS.^^
Just found your channel and honestly you have great quality editing and just videos in general compared to a lot of other newer channels and I really hope we get to see you collab with some other commentary youtubers in the future👌
maybe one day!
This is the first time I've ever gotten a response directly, keep doing what you're doing sir🙏
It's not about achieving, it's about paying rents, it's a double whammy, you want to over achieve to escape rent, but rent upgrade too when you achieve, so it doesn't matter how much you over achieve, the rent will follow. That's how society keeps you in check.
Hearing this as I overworked exhausted while studing and my ADHD it's making everything harder is certainly something.
Accepting that I'm too tired to be perfect, or even enough in all situations in my life it's liberating even when it's hard to accept and it's easier said than done.
you summed up how i've been feeling sine 2019 and why, thank you for this vid
Wow… I feel better about myself now, I’ve had a burnout, and autodiagnosed with somekind of neurodivergence since 2020… a lot happened and I’ve been trying out lots of different life choices… it’s such a messy process…. And somehow I’m paying my bills…. I used tô feel like a failure for not prioritizing achieving a career or money security right now… but this is one of the vídeos that reminds me that beeing too “right” in sick society isn’t actually healthy. And that I am part of a mass transformation that we are going trough, so.. thanks 💕
I was feeling completely exhausted and felt like giving up a lot of my hobbies and I didn't quite understand why. God bless the youtube algorithm for sending this video my way. It makes so much sense.
Love your points on this I didn’t really read into J hopes lyrics with his solo but now I see it’s importance 😵😌
Thank you so much for making these amazing videos! Take care ⚒
just read the tweet and bro this is my exact situation. this video is already interesting, lets continue
It's interesting because his analogy about immunization at the beginning makes SO much sense. He's basically saying that our mind, much like our bodies, will interact with mental viruses/sickness (the other), and like our bodies if it is not immunized in small doses with that negativity then it will not be strong enough to fight the true forms of negativity when they hit. It's exactly how vaccines work. So essentially he's saying we have not vaccinated our minds over this century because we've shunned negative mental spaces, but we've done so to our own detriment, because now our minds and characters are ill-equipped for them.
This was the most helpful and holistic video on burnout I’ve seen on here, thank you so much
I’m an artist with OCD and this video was so helpful for me in understanding and accepting the way I work and the way I create is different and it’s ok. Achievement is great but the most important thing is feeling good when I work and create and refusing to push myself to meet an expectation of someone else (esp someone who isn’t a divergent artist) 😅
The continual decrease in social activity is pretty bad for mental health
Im learning to sit with myself and be bored. My illustration teacher and Dr. K vids have kind of inspired me to sit alone and to actually deal with my stuff.
I do however wish i can change external issues without being like...Welp, guess ill move to norway. I think a revolution is coming and somethings going to snap with people and we dont continue to just take the exploitation anymore.
Also your videos are super insightful so thank you :)
I'm glad you mentioned HealthyGamerGG, it'd be fascinating to hear your thoughts on this channel. Dr K helped me a lot during my lowest of lows, but I couldn't help but notice something was off sometimes. Now I do begin to see why thanks to you. I don't have the vocab to explain all my thoughts as i'm not a native speaker, but thank you so much for this video.
For me it almost like listening to Jordan Peterson, except you could grasp what he said in words (in Peterson case, I get his idea, but the wording are just off putting), yet for me I didn't feel like I'd learn something about the discussed topic.
@@moch.farisdzulfiqar6123 OH my gosh yes! I just left a short comment on this video pointing out the similarity between the two
For me it was ambiguity
For me the main red flag was a hypocrisy. Sort of. I don’t remember where, in the start of his video, or when he talks about ADHD, depression, e.t.c., there is a disclaimer that if you have these problems, it’s better to visit a therapist. But on his website he sells modules on these topics. I’m not familiar with this practice, maybe those were created to deepen knowledge on these topics, but still this ambiguity was odd for me and in part it also felt that this channel was created as an ad
And btw, you have still pretty good English. Keep it up
So many great points!
As someone who rarely gets pop culture references, it's wild how I knew every person you referenced in this video - from Megan to JHope to Healthy Gamer GG to Jiujitsu Kaisen lol.
Felt seen, hward, and challenged, as always!
got a little nervous when you brought up Megan LOL but I’m so glad you said what you did. I fucking love traumazine & loved this analysis of it x
That English was definitely englishing in that extract
You make some great points
Thank you for your wonderfully human perspective on this issue. I feel much better after seeing this. I study Biotechnology and my whole life feels absolutely exhausting.
I love Han's works, thanks for making a video where you apply the concepts he discusses to contemporary issues
damn this was a lot but the "when we're extremely tired, we don't think abt this and that bc all we think abt is our tiredness" hits the most. When I was having fun on twitter, I got friends who remember me for me and not for what they need from me, I don't think abt how I will deepen that connection, instead I'm thinking of how I will constantly improve in the aspects of my physical health as well as planning on how I will be a good student and do training in my family business at the same time. When I noticed that my friends don't find me as often as they do back in July-August and I'm back to my old mindsets that I "when people don't find me or talk to me first before I do, they don't want or like me anymore" that's when I realized that I should've deepened my connections with those specific people
Best video by far 🖤thank you
Omg when you wave your hands around and say "...because the ideas of bad and good....anyway" made me know that we would 100 percent be friends hahaha idk if that's weird or not but I just know that I have so many similar ideas and imagine we'd have really great discussions about all sorts of intangible social and philosophical topics. Anyway 😅 I'm thoroughly enjoying all of your videos! Thanks for putting your voice out there, it makes me feel less like an alien.
hun, you vocalised all of the problems i’ve been dealing with in the past few years AND proposed a solution (that being a healthier mindset but not in a toxic way) - in just under an hour you did more than my therapist has in a month 😂
I loved this video. Thank you for making it.
I read that book btw, im 39 and have felt 80 yrs old for a few yrs now. And im really sad about that. Especially living in a grind culture society, i feel like i don't fit in. I know i shouldnt feel this tired emotionally but i do and theres nothing to do about it.
My partner has been pushing me SO MUCH to learn French during my "downtime" that I'm actually starting to despise learning the language. There is this pressure to constantly be learning something every waking hour! I now feel guilty when I want to watch TH-cam or just listen to a playlist, my time doesn't feel like it belongs to me anymore.
What a great way to board such an important subject. I can notice how this hits to the generations that are around mine (1994) and how the olders don't because they were programmed to follow the capitalist system. Awesome video.
"now that i found out what the problem with me is, let me figure out how to beat it out of me so i can live up to expectations!" i have never felt so personally called out in my LIFE 😂
i love how you said it's ok to just suck sometimes, i really agree with this and it's encouraging to hear it from other people, feels less lonely.
I highkey appreciated the intermission/reminded to breathe. I didn’t realize I was not breathing deep until I saw that.
i love you and your 2019 Rina Sawayama hairstyle
This video was the mindset shift I needed today thank you 🙏 also I would like to give you money but can not find the link to where to do it!!?
please never delete this video
this made me want to cry because of how true it rings
I am so glad I found your channel
This is the most aesthetically appropriate (philosophically) TH-cam video I've ever watched. Also thank you.
I work as a choreographer and my best work took MONTHS and YEARS to create. There is often lots of pressure for artists to produce work of equal caliber almost immediately after their initial sucess and it kills many a career imo.
I know we aren't all artists, but I think this same pressure probably crops up in all industries and leads to burnout 🤔🤔 . Jimi Hendricks the guitarist, had mental health issues other than burnout 👀👀☝️🤔.
But toward the end of this life, you can really feel the pressure he felt to come up with ANOTHER brilliant album right after the first ones.
When you read his biography, its very sad to watch how ones' artistic gifts can leave them under this type of pressure 🙃 it was clearly eating away at him before the end.
There is nothing wrong with taking your time and letting things develop naturally.
You have no idea how much I needed to read this. I'm in my mid-twenties and my artistic career so far is... lackluster or rather honestly a failure. I'm pursuing stable jobs too of course but the fact that I haven't achieved anything worth something (in the things I wanna do) so far is eating away at me. I can't give up, I don't want to but I kinda also wish I would. Though I keep forgetting that I still have time. That some things didn't work out because it was out of my hands and that this can change.
I feel exactly the same about Dr K. I'm glad I'm not the only one who recognised it. Another point is how this achievement society plays into dating advice. So many people get told they 'need to work on themselves' to find a partner. Even though people in relationships are messy and flawed.