That all people on the spectrum get on. They say my mother friend son has autism. So it doesn't mean will get on. Different interests, different personalty. Same condition or disability your Channel when get on to autism is disability debate.
We aren't crazy or born wrong. We are not to be confused with insane or crazy people. And the most important one: we understand things pretty well. You don't need to worry about us not understanding why it's cold outside for example and you shouldn't try to explain anything to us or treat us like children.
I'm in the process. Just started. My therapist said there's not many who can assess me and they mainly specialize in children. I didn't know what autism was until I saw one of Sam's videos and her story really resonated with me. The autism stereotype did not resonate...
@@gingercultleader5500 I had my lightbulb moment almost a year ago thanks to a TH-cam video. I'm still working towards a diagnosis (my assessment just had to be delayed to June due to Corona), but everything Sam says about her every day experiences just ticks all the boxes for me. I wish I had known sooner, it maybe could have saved me a whole lot of pain and confusion.
YES! *sighs* I keep...looking at something else while my parents talk to me and they think I’m shutting them out when I’m really not! I’m listening to them and I want to talk to them but there’s nothing really *TO* say. That’s what they don’t understand and they keep creeping me out by staring at me in the face while we’re eating and questioning me. I mean I don’t need to be fixed and...I like being like this, I just don’t like my parents being so pushy about everything and not knowing what’s going on.
I think of autism a bit like a cultural or language barrier. Neither "culture" is explicitly better or worse in the way they interact with each other, but both sides need to learn about the other and make accommodations to be understood.
I kind of think of it like being left handed. There is nothing “wrong” with being left handed; the challenges they face are because the world is designed for right handed people. Many of the challenges we face are due to the environment created by others; I am great as long as I can be in the environment designed for me!
@@nicolewood7957 that analogy doesn’t take into account a lot of very important factors - left handed people don’t face a lifetime of rejection for not being able to communicate well with right handed people. Left handed people don’t struggle at their jobs because of being left handed. Left-handedness is visible and easy to perceive just by watching which hand someone is using. Autism is not like that at all
This. People don't realize that there are so many types of people on both sides. It doesn't make one better than another. It takes everyone to make our team successful at work.
Many doctors' views on autism are outdated. Case in point: The doctor who diagnosed me was in her 30s, and knows very well what autism is in modern standards, and was able to spot my autism behind my masking through studying my life history, and interviewing my family to come to a diagnosis. However, another doctor who is in her 60s to 70s who graduated from Med school many decades ago when autism was only diagnosed for people who are very much more obvious just told me I am not autistic after I sit down for 5-10 minutes without interviewing my families - a modern standard now used as tool for diagnosing autism.
This is so true. My eldest son was never diagnosed even though he saw a professional. He was diagnosed with ADHD even though his ASD is very obvious. He is practically a textbook case. My youngest son was just diagnosed with ASD after an hour interview with a much younger doctor even though his traits are MUCH less obvious. I was never diagnosed because I went to school in the 80’s and am a master masker. I just had a lifetime of being “the weird kid”.
I wish people knew that it is pysichally painful to become overstimulated, to get to the point of melt down. It is not funny or cute. It hurts. For days afterwards.
@@helloitsme5638 Same here. Not to mention, it can also make me nauseous or even literally sick. I've literally had to call in sick to work before because an overload just got to me so much. It's not just a synonym for being overwhelmed, even though that's obviously a big part of it.
I “mentally rewrote” your psychically into physically, because my psychic attacks take it right out of my body! I have FMS/me and CFS and cytomegalovirus and the pain we get in the silver lining our muscles! I get ripples of pain running down my legs as well as arms and back and a great party will shred me! I mean, I adore a great party but they take a weeks preparation makeups I can count on, clothing soft but pretty not too glamorous but eye catching and if you do it all right an evening will cost you maybe 2 weeks pain/effort! If the party is a dud you have hurt yourself for a kind of painful dull ache!
Me working at a McDo. POS place had bajilion unecessary loud bips and blips, idiotic co workers who need to blast loud music making hard to even hear each other (which we had to all the time) and they also wnated you to have a ear piece because yes... I could figure out what would collapse first, my hurting back or my mind
@@helenhenninger835 - some people are deliberate bullies for sure; but I think it's a gap of understanding. There is such a thing as malingering, there is such a thing as being oversensitive, so when people don't understand what you're going through they're reaching for an explanation they can understand and if they get it wrong it could well feel abusive. More and more education is what is needed so people can understand. Then deliberate bullies would become recognisable and could be put in their place. Before a few years ago I only ever met one person I knew to be autistic. She also had considerable learning difficulties and severe behavioural problems from years of abuse or neglect before she was adopted by someone who could understand, but could still barely cope at the worst times. This early exposure gave me no insight at all into what autism is. I think more widespread information has only been available quite recently, and it's so hard to make sense of I really don't think the "experts" really understand it either, so the message is garbled. Voices like Sam's and yours are really important.
I wish people knew that I never do things to intentionally hurt or insult anyone. I'm not empathic, but I'm not mean either. I just want to go about my day on my own terms.
I joined reddit last fall, in hopes of reading some good tips or ideas on autism as my son (who is autistic) grows older. I read a few threads about women in autism, and was SHOCKED to see myself so clearly. My life has never made sense until I looked at it through the lens of autism. I absolutely love your videos, as we are similar in so many ways. Your insights into your behaviors have helped me so much. I sent this one to my therapist in hopes she will understand why I feel the way I do. I'd love to pursue diagnosis, just to be able to get out from under the "she thinks she's autistic because of something she read on the internet". But there are zero professionals who can diagnose adults in my city. Thank you for stating that self-diagnosis is valid. I have no other options. This video is so good! Thank you!
Carey Smith I'm in the same position as you only there are no professionals who can diagnose adults in my entire country. I've resorted to travelling to the UK to get a diagnosis but have actually found a clinic who can offer me a diagnostic opinion online. It's not a formal assessment but is an option for people like me who just want to know for sure and to have been diagnosed by a proffesional. Feel free to DM me if you're interested, I can give you more details about it.
Me too! There's no way for me to get diagnosed. And now that I KNOW that I'm autistic, everything suddenly makes so much sense, I can suddenly understand myself more, and even love myself more.
Hey Carey. I am in the same boat as you! I figured out that I was autistic after doing a bunch of research because I knew that my older son had more than just ADHD. My youngest was just diagnosed with probable ASD, which was actually pretty validating. I hope that you are doing well.
You know, that part when u talked about supressing stimming leading to poor mental health, it finally clicked why Ive felt so emotionally suppressed recently. My stim is singing, its what I am passionate about and how I communicate feelings, usually to myself. Since its "weird" to sing out loud for no apparent reason, Ive learned to keep it to myself and it really takes a toll, especially at work. If we can all accept everyone's and our own stims, it would really help bring more equality, with people on or not on the spectrum. Thank u for acknowledging this, I wish it were possible to subscribe more than once, have an awesome day😊❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Singing as a stim is a blessing and a curse. On the one hand it appears normal in many situations, on the other it appears so out of place in many others! I know the feeling, sending you all my support
I sing too! As a child my parents thought that meant I as destined to be famous singer and it me in all kinds of lessons and performances. But as I got older and began to realize how much I hate being in the spotlight, my singing only made me feel more out of place. It didn't help that some friends started to resent that I wasn't taking advantage of my 'gift'. I'm like Sam, diagnosed in my 30's, but I didn't even realize that was a stim for me! Thank you for posting this comment💛💛💛
Lately ive been stuck at home with my family, and I’ve felt really exposed and i don’t get the privacy and the space I normally get, and it’s been really hard, but sometimes when im in a bad space i just come and watch videos like yours and i feel a little more secure and a little more understood so thankyou.
“there are some autistic people who report they don’t have any empathy, but there are a lot of neurotipical people who don’t as well” is a great quote 👏
I just want to thank you so much for saying self diagnosis is valid. I tend to feel like I can't say that I'm autistic because I don't have a diagnosis, but getting a diagnosis would be so expensive that it would be financially crippling to even try to get one. At the same time, whenever I read or hear about autism, it fits my experiences so exactly that I feel a huge sense of relief, because finally there might be an explanation for why I've never been able to be normal. I'm actually stereotypical enough in my behaviors that I've been asked before if I was autistic, so it's nice to have someone else confirm that my self diagnosis can be valid.
I appreciate what you said about self-diagnosis. The more I learn about autism, the more I’m convinced I am autistic. I can totally relate to so much of what you said. I’ll be 60 in a couple of months, and I’m finally starting to understand why I’ve had so much trouble with some things like telephones and dread over completely benign social situations. Thank you for your insights.
Fantastic 😊 I've definitely trained myself to be avoidant of being blunt, but recently I've been getting more comfortable with just letting it out haha
Also as a father of an autistic daughter I'm starting to see I have a lot of the traits. As you just mentioned making a phone call that's exactly what I'm doing right now 😩. Thanks love the video 👍🏼
Thank you go another excellent video! I wish people knew that the struggle is real. As an undiagnosed female, it can feel very lonely and scary trying to explain my experiences without being made to feel like I'm making it up.
Your point about self assessment and the difficulty getting access to diagnosis is so true. The processes on the NHS is shocking. I was referred for an assessment in 2018 on the NHS and am still waiting. Since then I've moved to a new area and have been told by doctors that I am not eligible to be re-referred until I have 'self referred' to a charity organisation to go through CBT, and to then try antidepressants. Only AFTER these things have been done would I be eligible for a psychiatrists help officially. (Side note I completed a self referral in London in 2018 and went through CBT, which didnt help me, but now that Ive moved that no longer counts because the hospitals and doctors are run by diffferent trusts. Also, why should I be medicated?!) Its taken 3 years of fighting the NHS to finally cave and pay for a private assessment to be told that I do have autism but even still, even with a private diagnosis the doctors are still reluctant to give any further help because essentially as a late diagnosed adult I've managed to 'make it this far' We need more support not just for autism testing but also the broader mental health spectrum in the UK, and with autism, especially with masking and the real crippling mental health issues we can be left with there certainly needs to be more understanding! There still seems to be a huge opinion that we need to be medicated in order to fit in and function in 'normal society' the thing is we function very well just in different ways. The more information people have the less ignorance there will be and that can only be a good thing.
Laura Hodson I am so shocked to hear that about the NHS. CBT doesn't work if autistic and why would you take anti depressants. I want to get a diagnoses so wondering how long it takes where I live.. I can see me becoming more of an expert than the experts.
@@amberrichards8078 I've been told its a postcode lottery but the average wait on the NHS is 18-24 months and thats from referral, it could take you a year or so to get the referral in the first place. If you havent read it, Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder by Sarah Hendrickx is a really good book shes also got a few videos up on here that are worth a watch :)
I do take medication - but I have had problems with depression for over 30 years (and been suicidal at a few points) plus I have ADHD which was only recently diagnosed and the meds for that have helped me focus immensely. Not all meds are bad but if you don't need them you shouldn't be forced to take them.
Laura Hodson - that's an awful story. I think the NHS is catching up, but it's not uniform across the country. A psychiatrist might recognise Autism quickly, should do so; a clinical psychologist would probably be more on point and would not be looking at drugs. the law in the UK requires employers and public bodies to make "reasonable adjustments" to support autistic people, but the meaning of reasonable is quite flexible. One would think it should definitely include adjustments in thinking by medical organisations. There's a useful resource explaining what autistic people should be able to expect on the following web page: livingautism.com/autism-rights/
In Australia, as an adult I have to basically get diagnosis privately and get a fraction of the exorbitant fee back from our Medicare system. My 6 year old son has contended with almost non-existent wait lists because there are so many kids under assessment for something. At least we don't have to pay for it 🤷🏽♀️
I’m pretty much convinced I’m autistic and I was actually gonna get evaluated tomorrow, but with the whole quarantine situation my appointment had to be rescheduled 😭 I honestly can’t wait until I have an official diagnosis so I can tell everyone, and educate the people close to me about my issues.
I love you explaning that the symptoms change daily. I find that some days I am closer to "neurotypical" and then other days I'm struggling majorly. It makes me feel more valid.
That sometimes we turn down social things not because we don’t like you or don’t want to spend time with you, but because we know we’re already really close to becoming or already are overwhelmed and socializing requires so much effort even without being overwhelmed, not to mention the added sensory overload that often comes with social situations. We don’t hate you, we just need time to recover.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers and AD(H)D last year, when I'd turned 40. I was so good at masking, and still am. I just recognized that it's now or never.
I wish my sister understood than when I use my autism to substantiate why I want to do something in a certain way (read: come up with a strategy to reach my goal in a way that seems realistic to me) she wouldn't dismiss it as just an excuse to not do it in 'the regular' way.
THIS!!! My autism is NOT an "excuse" to do things the way I want to do, or get out of things I don't want to do - it's how I'm neurologically hardwired! And it's just as much neurologically determined as my migraines, but you aren't getting on my case when I've got a migraine keeping me out of commission, now are you?
@@neuralmute The painful this is: she started a degree in social work. At least she's learning, but she always seemed have trouble grasping our brains are different. It's why some of her relationships stranded the way they did.
@@ammalyrical5646 Ouch! It sort of reminds me of my sister - she's an "enlightened" yoga instructor... but there are some things that she just DOES NOT GET. And probably never will.
@@ammalyrical5646 my older sister has a degree in speech pathology and has experience working with disabled people and she said I am not autistic even though I have been thoroughly diagnosed by professionals with all kinds of test including MRI scans because I am not like the severely disabled people she worked with.
@@Daxter609 Has anyone explained the meaning of the word "spectrum" to her, in the context of the autistic spectrum? Just because a person isn't as visibly or severely disabled doesn't mean that they don't have a condition as well! Why are our family members the last people to believe that we are actually neurologically different? Is it because it means that they'll have to start thinking about us differently, and just maybe owe us an apology or two along the way?
I'm repeating myself, but seriously another fantastic video u made. It's so satisfying being able to relate this much to things u say. Will also send this video around, like your first video of 'autism acceptance week'. I honnestly hope these will reach many people worldwide. U are good at explaining things in an accessible way, yet profound and informative.
I’m bingwatching all your videos! It’s so relatable! I’m now 26 and only three weeks ago my psychologist thought of autism I’m now on a waiting list to get diagnosed! I’ve been in and out therapy since I was 16. They thought it was depression or anxiety disorder but I didn’t felt it was me.. now I know it’s autism and is is so freeing to finally understand myself and my way of processing life. Thank you so much for your videos!
The big thing I want people to know and understand is that if I don't have the energy or capacity to go hang with you today its not something you have done. It's just my brain saying it needs a day of.
Yes, you've done nothing wrong and please don't stop inviting me to things, even if I say no a lot. Sometimes I may make it and if I can't, it's nice to know I'm still thought of rather than thinking I've been pushed out or forgotten, because I can't always make it.
I wish people knew your channel! Your videos actually made me realize I was autistic at age 32 and set me on the path to reading every possible book on the matter for 3 months. I am currently awaiting my assessment results but I already know them. Your content has effectively changed my life, for the better!!! Thank you so much xo
Ahh phone calls. I avoid if possible. Before my husband and I understood that I was autistic he would yell at me 'you're a 34 year old woman who can't make a simple phone call'?! I cant describe how much that hurt and made me feel misunderstood. Thankfully hes educating himself and is very supportive now. We need more current education about all disabilities, because my husband is not the first to put me down. More and up to date knowledge leads to more acceptance and understanding
Your comment about comfort with people really resonated with me. I am scrupulously polite with people I don't know or don't like, while I can swear or insult the people I feel most comfortable with.
Your videos are like finally being able to take a deeeep breath after years of shallow breathing! Thank you for taking time to share all of your amazing thoughts, I’m always both learning and being comforted🌱❤️
Well done! That bit about autistics do have empathy was interesting. After observing the sometimes lack of empathy on the part of both autistics and non-autistics, I came up with a theory about it. I think that in order to feel empathy towards another person, we must identify with that person in some way. A kind of recognition that this other person is like is like us in a way. Only then can we imagine being in their shoes and what that must feel like in the given situation. If we don't feel that the other person is similar to us in at some way, then we're not able to identify with them and therefore can't imagine what it would be like to be in the particular situation. Autistics may have difficulty identfying with non-autistics precisely because we ARE different in many ways. So it can be difficult to identify with them. Autistics often find it easier to identify with other autistics and can imagine what it feels like for another autistic person in a given situation. Non-autistics may think that they know how an autistic is feeling (empathy), but I find that they get it wrong quite often. Their empathy is misguided in such cases. The failure to identify with another, seems to be the root of many conflicts in the world today. It's easy to vilify another person or group if we don't identify with them. If we don't identify with them, we can't imagine what it is like to be them in a given situation and that allows us to perpetrate all sorts of bad behavior towards them. B.
I just try to remember that the other person is capable of feeling pain. I might not feel pain for the same reason or in the same situation, but they are in pain. I have been in pain before so I can empathize. That is my personal Autistic reasoning.
@ Bryce White - There sense in this. The flip-side is the way during group conflicts the opposing sides demonise each other to justify atrocious behaviours, they cast each other in roles they can't identify with and then anything goes.
@@Catlily5 - yeah, the dark underbelly of the US rednecks have been brought out of the closet by Trump. I hope he splits the GOP, because they're not at all Grand at the moment, shameful more like; but there are surely some good folk buried in there. But groups always do this. I happens in all wars. It happens in conversations about crime when people do not want to face the potential evil within themselves, and it happens a bit more civilly but just as divisively when there are differences in outlook. I find Bryce's suggestion plausible as at east part f the dynamic with the gap in understanding autistic people by the mainstream.
„Listen to autistic people“. Reading „the reason I jump" was a wake up call. I realised that the author's explanations made such complete sense to me. It was the starting point of a journey of learning for me, also learning things about myself that I had never realised before.
"Non-autistic people interpret our communication according to their own standards." And when it's your partner who does this, and they just don't seem to learn, because 'obviously what society says must to more true than what I say', I'm starting to feel really hopeless...
Thank you for making this, so rare to find someone who can describe my experience. On the rare occasion where I do, I feel a weight lifted from my chest for a few minutes
As an autistic person the last one was actually pretty helpful for me, because I feel like I should just be improved and keep that improvement but it's hard.
I took two courses about autism: one free introductory course given by Berkley online and a graduate educational course given by the University of Delaware years ago when I thought I might be able to get full-time work in the Sussex Consortium working with autistic students. Neither course understood it from the inside and the higher education system only knows the mechanics of ABA which has been exposed as junk science because its modifications don't last. Even their statistics do not demonstrate any significant command of mathematics such as standard deviations, Gauss' bell curve and its convergence, let alone the differential operators needed to properly define a trend in the simulated precision of crudely quantified observations and "measurements" of behaviour. One faculty with whom I car pooled to an autism conference in Pittsburgh sat on committees for doctorate dissertation defenses and he told me I would never have lasted in a psychology degree program on autism because such programs are unable to tolerate failure to guess what opinions the people with whom one must get along to stay in such a program expect and require. Mathe and physics were far easier where no salesmanship was needed to do problems and to prove theorems and algorithm performances.
My wife and I are 67. She has decided she is autistic and I agree. After watching your videos and others I understand her so much better. I knew she was different 22 years ago when we got together but after listening and watching you I now have a basic set of tools to understand her needs and ways. Thank you for sharing yourself, your making the autistic world a better place. This information was needed decades ago and I’m so glad it available now!
Hon..you’re an angel and an evangelist for autistics…it’s so hard to covey how meaningful your videos are to us, so just know that what you do makes a difference. You are one of the few that makes me feel a tiny bit less lonely for a moment. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes…
After a week now of watching these videos about Autism, an internal light has slowly gotten righter and brighter. At the end of this video I wondered out loud to myself and said "I think I have Autism" and spontaneously burst into tears. Tears that very quickly turned into tears of elation and acceptance. At 51 years old I feel run down and trapped within a self-made prison where I'm safe from the outside world. But I'm also dieing of fear of spiraling into the darkness of my fractured mind. Knowing now that most of my intense symptoms and traits aren't me going insane but instead a condition which I can learn to live with rather than fight against. At the moment I feel I'm on the edge of trying out a new found superpower that I've suddenly become aware of 🤔😊🔥
... that we’re not here to ‘fit in’ with you (nt’s) or your life styles but to learn to live as us in a way that compliments and nourishes our unique ways of being in the world ❤️ and if we don’t ‘fit in’ with your ways, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us!!!
Your channel is amazing. I had a person tell me once that it's like I was walking in 2 worlds. It's so true. Sometimes I'm so clear, everything is so easy, other days, I'm so off the rails I don't want to even talk. I can get angry at the drop of a hat and later wonder what I was even mad at, is it logical? The worst is when people tell jokes and I can't tell if they are serious or picking on me. One day I understand the conversation I'm in and can even have great insights, other times I can't even understand what people are talking about. It's such a strange thing to explain to people.
Oh, I wish that "normal" people understood that tickling actually hurts sometimes and when I tell you to stop rubbing my arm with your fingertips, and you don't, it's annoying and pisses me off.
I am of the same belief: That those on the spectrum are best qualified to educate us on said 'invisible disability'. Thank you for helping me better understand my beloved husband. BEST WISHES to you in your endeavors and many BLESSINGS. Greetings from California. 💛💛💛
I can so relate on the phone calls!!!! you could not have stated it better! I just sat here on repeat, replaying it. I see my mcas dr Wednesday and asking about an autistic diagnosis, i have you by ten, 50, been like this since i was a kid! Thanks for your great videos!
These videos have done wonders for me. I started with another channel done by a male with autism and his content really helped make sense of the information I had come across on autism. So I went from suspecting being autistic to being fairly certain and then I found your channel. Now I am basically 100% certain I am autistic. This channel has allowed me to finally breath deep and be relieved that there really is a place where I belong/fit in, in this human world. You have allowed me to see the world that is open to my quirks and wierdities. That is inviting and actually feels safe. One where I don't have to use up all of my energy banks trying to navigate through it. Your videos and how you explain their contents resonate with me at 100%, and I feel so at home for the first time in a community. Not diagnosed but there is no doubt in my mind after watching your videos. Through the autistic lens, everything that has been different and "off" about me now makes sense. I no longer feel like I have been failing at being human/NT but rather, I'm a pretty competent autistic human. I'm actually ok. I want you to know that I thank you so so much for making these videos. ❤
Autism is a cube that borders with the neuro typical cube. Say (0/0/0) is the connection point between the cubes and that they are mirrored, then someone who is good with small talk (say at (-1/-1/-1)) is exactly mirrored to someone that is bad with it on the AS (1/1/1). So there are as many different types of autism as there are types neuro typical personalities. Both are nuances of certain stereotypes.
It feels ... (i have no idea how it feels, maybe because I have alexithymia :D) but I get the feels when I'm reading so many comments about people having difficulty with getting diagnosis. I can't get a formal diagnosis myself because it's not done in my country. Imagine how many more of us have been flying under the radar for so many years, suffering needlessly and living a life of confusion and alienation. :( Thank you very much, Sam! For making these videos and for helping put words to our struggles in an informative and simple way. ❤️
I am autistic and I wish people knew that we are not RUDE if we communicate differently or don’t make eye contact (for some people) and that they shouldn’t stereotype us
Or those of us who make too much eye contact (after studying people to mask more effectively), but have no clue where the line is with a "normal" amount of eye contact. Apparently, making constant eye contact makes people feel uncomfortable, so I now make, probably too much, then realise I've probably made too much, then consciously look away. Now I have no clue what was being said, as I became self conscious about making too much or too little eye contact. Masking doesn't always help you blend in. I've started not making eye contact with some people I know well, some of the time and it's so much easier to follow what they're saying, rather than being distracted by thoughts of "have I been intensely staring at that person for too long now?"
Thank you so much, this video is perfect and explains so much about what I really wish people knew, This means a lot to me and I think I finally feel brave enough to tell people about autism, if I show them this to explain, so they'll believe me!
Thank you for this! I was just diagnosed yesterday and yours is one of the channels I’ve been watching over the last few months, since I was referred, to learn about myself and accept myself. Thank you for making these videos 💗
Love this video. It's all so true. And many of these things are why neurotypical people think you are lying when you say you have Autism. They expect us to be visibly different.
I wish I had a way to get properly diagnosed. As it stands now, I'm still in that limbo where I'm not sure what is real and what is imagined. I watch videos like these and I may think that I can relate and understand, but that gives me no confidence at the end of the day.
Your videos make me feel less alone, it wasn't until recently I self diagnosed. But haven't told anyone, it isn't shame I feel. But scared It'll be met with doubt, and questions I can't explain. Your content has been helping me. Thank you.
Hi Sam, I just watched this and loved it, I am new to autism, I'm 48 and self diagnosed for the meantime until I can find a way to get a full diagnosis without stress. I only want the diagnosis, so that I can become an ambassador for Autism particularly at my work where they are just introducing themselves Autism friendly. I didn't study psychology as engineering got in the way, but I studied craniosacral therapy and birth trauma for a good 10 years and am qualified to practice. I too found the same thing as you, autism comes into the world of craniosacral therapy a lot as it's a very good non invasive therapy for children and actually takes a similar space to psychotherapy (which most of my fellow students were already long qualified in and practicing during my training). In trying to understand it, the whole antivaxxer topic was in full flow, which massively skewed any clinical experience that my teachers and other students had, and from my own point of view, they also have a wrong understanding of. To me it's almost as if Mother Nature and evolution had thrown in an alternate reality in some people to see if it takes, and in this world of tech, where face to face communication takes a back seat, and logical structure thrives, I would not be surprised if this was some kind of evolutionary branch of the homo sapien. I work in TV and there are loads of people here that I would definitely say were likely autistic, all of them tech people, developers and dev ops, but none that I have noticed as project managers or coordinators. Just my thoughts, I would like to put this forward as useful resource for helping NT's understand autism as they are actively looking for ambassadors (which I have requested to become) and useful resources to help understand what we go through, as you have understanding of how the clinical world thinks autism is compared to your own experience, and that is gold dust.
I thoroughly appreciate the knowledge you share on autism. I'll continue to learn from your videos. You're like a true friend I've never met. I care about you. Stay sweet.
I wish people knew that just because I have low empathy doesn't mean that I'm mean or selfish. I've been called these things before but it's simply because I don't understand neurotypical people's feelings. I'm not trying to be rude or self-centered it's just that I am the only person that I understand sometimes so it's easier to pay attention to my own feelings than try to interpret someone else's.
I had a good day today, made loads of people laugh and felt like I was quite fluid with the conversation and "banter". I wish more days were like this one. It feels good when people can smile and laugh because of your input for once...call it selfish but I love knowing that I have made someone laugh at some point in their day.
Thanks for the videos you share. I have members of my family who are autistic and this was very insightful. I love hearing of your experiences and perspective. It’s SO helpful! I certainly don’t understand how it feels to be autistic, and the experiences that autistic people live with everyday, but I hope it will help me be more aware and work harder to listen. Thanks again!
Thanks for all the videos Sam. What I wish people knew is that meltdowns are not something we can snap out of and that we’re not doing it to hurt anyone
Thank you for sharing this video. I only just found your channel and immediately subscribed. I was not diagnosed until i was 48. I am blessed, celebrating our 3rd anniversary today actually, with an amazing NT woman. I was up front with her about my struggles when we first started to talk. I struggle to explain what i go through with her, and even though she is amazingly understanding and patient, i know i frustrate her. This can lead to a spiral of sorts. I struggle, and i sense the frustration in her, which causes anxiety in me, making me struggle with my tendencies, which frustrates her... ad infinitum (of sorts). I fear that some day, i will not be able to short circuit my own spiral, that i will drive her away one day.
This empathy thing really bothers me. I'm literally the biggest empath I know, and I have been all my life. It absolutely infuriates me that people believe that we can't feel empathy. It's a horrible assumption, because it makes us out to look like monsters
I feel like it's projection on the NT's part. They can't empathize with us, or misinterpret us, so they assume *we're* the ones without empathy. It might also be a way to mistreat us, justifying their own lack of empathy because why empathize with someone incapable of it themselves?
Alot of people go years not knowing theyr autistic or even that theres a possibility. If you see these signs in someone repeatedly it may be good to bring it up, because sometime getting care can make a huge difference. Imagine being born missing a foot and no one notices till your 25 or older. I think it would be stressful and confusing cause everyone knows something's wrong but not what and so we just push forward not knowing the damage it causes.
I've been watching every single video and I've have never found a more comprehensive mound of information. I feel like you turned a light on for me. I've just been crying in relief the more I learn because I make so much more sense now. and the reassurance that a diagnosis isn't necessary to be valid is really important bc of how healthcare lacks in the US. you are so nice and wonderful for making these videos. 10000 virtual hug vibes to you. thank you. 💙
I wish people knew how paperwork processes like school and employment applications and filing for taxes (in the US) can be a thousand times more complicated for us.
Yes!!- To every single thing you said here, thank you!! A great video that I'm sure I will be sharing with some people to spread the wonderful knowledge. :)
I love your videos. I also was diagnosed with autism in my early 30s. Your information is very accurate. Thank you for making all of your videos. People need to know this information.
My son is 16, and today we’re seeing a psychiatrist. This whole school year, we’ve gotten nowhere with the school and a psychologist to get a diagnosis. I never saw anything until this past year. It’s now very obvious to me now because he started stimming, and noises set him right off. Fingers crossed that we’ll get an official diagnosis, and he can get some help that will help him feel better about who he is.
Thank you. Thank you very much. I really mean it. Your combination of personal life experience and education plus your willingness to put yourself out there and do these videos is unique treasure.
This was such a breath of fresh air to watch! Thanks! I'm autistic and have shared in hope it helps people realise what autism is and accept my diagnosis 😊💐
Geese girl, “in your 30’s” is a lifetime? LOL! Your videos are a great help, even for an old 66 yr old just diagnosed! Several lifetimes, but not the last I hope! Keep up the good work! 🤩
Thanks. What I wish you knew is that your episodes are relevant, accurate, and validating. I think they are getting better all the time and I look forward to your content. What I wish the world knew is what I struggle with. I made a two episode series which tells of my own package, and there are things mentioned that touch on how I struggle to communicate the way I really want and intend to. I usually have to do word searches during speaking times in that words intended are diverted to a place other than my speaking part of the brain, so that I require time to process my words, but most people don't use patience to wait until I am done speaking. This drives me to ultra frustration, though I try to keep up with what they are saying so I can follow their thoughts. Then my thoughts are thrown off track. This is also frustrating since what they actually hear me say is not my full thoughts, and so they are getting a very different picture than what they need to. I am not what or who they think I am.
Something I would like to know from neurotypicals: When people say "don't expect the world or other people to change for u" and "we can't change things" etc. What do u mean with that, why can't it be changed, which are the actual reasons to why not? From my perspective it does seem possible to make society more autism/neurodivers friendly. Do u mean: we can't because of practical reasons? Or most people don't want and therefor we can't?
i honestly think that most NT's just don't want to be bothered with learning about autism and having to change their comfortable way of being, when they were getting along fine before, and we were masking and suffering silently. I know that's a cynical opinion, but it's a situation I've run into time and again, even from some usually very understanding individuals in my own family. They just don't get it, and they don't comprehend why we can't accept that.
@@neuralmute I think about it the same way. I just want to hear people admit it honnestly, and not hide behind "we can't" and leave it there. If we let people get away with that, then I'm affraid that indeed nothing will change. I just don't get the attitude, just let us struggle for ever then? And what about blind people or people in a wheelchair for example, everyone agrees they deserve to get help (I hope). But making an efford for autistics goes too far? I personally don't see any logic in the way people discriminate. I don't even know what to do about it in my personal life. My first reaction is not wanting to deal with people who don't want to make adjustments. But I'm scared to end up with an even smaller social circle than now...till nearly no one will be left. Being autistic I tend to be selective about so many things already. I'm not sure where to draw the line.
@@noor-5187 I've been taking a pretty uncompromising approach outside of my immediate family, but I've also got a history in activism, so it sort of comes naturally. Like, I actually work in the mental health field (after having been on the other side of it, being misdiagnosed and overmedicated), and I also grew up as the notorious "school lesbian" (because of course every high-school *only* has one!), so I've done a fair bit or advocacy for mental health, and I've marched in more Pride Parades than I've bothered to count. I don't have time to deal with people who don't have time to accept me as I am. Discrimination of any kind is bullshit, period, and I call people on it. Sometimes social circles need to be measured by quality rather than size. It's a lesson I learned over time, the hard way. I hear you about being ridiculously selective over everything though! It's because we notice everything, isn't it? Btw, totally OT, but I just find Noor to be a very lovely name! :)
@@neuralmute So u learned to stand up for who u are. That's really good and important. I still have to learn that even at age 30. I'm very morals/ethics orientated and can't bear injustice, yet I'm scared to be seen and judged so I make myself small. My way of being never has been encouraged, so I guess I'm one of the many autistics with a very low self-esteem. Thank u for the compliment :) Noor is actually a part of my name, I was scared if I put my real full name, people would recognize me and judge me on my opinions, that's how bad I struggle with self confidence, sad but true😕 And yes about being selective and seeing everything! For example when someone around me does something that doesn't align with my morals, I'm always tempted to take distance from them. While no one else seems to get stuck at it...for me seems a big deal and it takes so much energy to filter out the bad feeling it gives me and to get over it. Even when it doesn't directly involve me. Someone wasting lots of water by not fixing a broken tap for months for example, something 'small' like that already can make me appreciate that person less and make me judgde them like "I don't like unconscious people who waste, I don't want this person in my life". It's driving me crazy cause I'm always the only one who cares and people don't understand. It's true tho, quality is more important than quantity when it comes to social life! But people warn me that I might end up alone if I keep being this specific and selective. I don't know, I guess I need to find a healthy balance. Anyway, thank u for your response, good luck with everything :) x
@@noor-5187 Wow, I understand all of that so much! I've come to this point in my 40's, so you've got time! Life's the journey, right? And I use a pseudonym from a mix of the title/characters of one of my favourite books, to avoid being recoginised by anyone from my "real" life when I'm online too. I still worry about judgment, but more among the people I'm close with, rather than the rest of the world. I know that the "mainstream" world will judge me for being a gay little punk who refuses to sit down and shut up, or dress and act like a woman is supposed to, especially at my age. But I *like* my blue spiky hair and tattoos, and my nieces think it's cool, so it's good. But YES, people who waste, or people who litter, or don't recycle, or who talk shit and discriminate against anyone, or lack basic compassion, I just can't deal with that in my life! I feel like I pretend that I've got more confidence than I do, that I've got this bravado, and maybe it's like Sir Anthony Hopkins in this video; I grew up doing performing arts, training in classical music and ballet, and so I spent a lot of time onstage. I still do ballet - it's the best full body workout in the world, and it was one of my first obsessive interests, but it slipped under the radar because every little girl is obsessed with ballet, right? (eye roll) I used to joke that I only get stage fright when I'm not onstage, and that's still sort of true. And I've learned the hard way that sometimes being alone for a while is necessary, and better than being with the wrong people. I really hope you don't have to go through that one! Anyway, take care, and be well. I think you're on the right path! :)
I wish people knew how hard I try to be liked. That getting ghosted and or not liked for how i am hurts. That I put so much effort to be someone they would like to be around. Though it never seems to work out. That I care, even when I don't sound like I do. That when I say " I didn't mean it that way" isn't an excuse..I literally didn't mean it whatever way and I can't figure out a way to really say what I mean and how I mean it. That it can be lonely. That I don't mask to lie. I do it to make them not hate me or dislike me. ..that maybe a lot but I feel like I have even more
Thank you! Everything you say clicks in my brain! Aha! My son is autistic and I was diagnosed as having ADD with other learning disabilities-Even was kicked out of Catholic school on 2nd day! But everything makes so much more sense!!
Though I appreciate your comment about autism not having a look, I find that people regard my facial expression as odd. When I was young my mother told me I looked very serious, even stern. I was surprised by this as I was just relaxed, not moody. I once relaxed and looked in the mirror and saw what I refer to as my "autist face". I am aware it looks odd to happy smiling NT people but I am not thrilled about forcing myself to smirk constantly as it makes my face ache and takes too much concentration. I actually have a very good sense of humour but it tends to also be unusual and very dry. I got a sunflower lanyard which is supposed to indicate a hidden disability, but the one time I wore it people spoke to me as though I were simple.
Very interesting the fact about emphaty. It is what makes me get doubts. I am so related to autism traits, but I was always listenning on videos that autistic people lack emphaty. I'm very emphatic about everything, but I dont know how to show people it and mostly of times, I exagerate my emotions or I just ignore it because I dont know how to show it.
To be honest i was surprised how much people knew, I'd never heard of autism until 23, when i met my friend who's son is autistic. She said she knew in minutes i was obviously autistic, but it took a couple of years before i accepted it as likely. Then when i started talking to people at work about it, many of them said, "we already know" or words to that effect. So essentially since childhood everyone but me has known I'm autistic. Atleast i can now attach a reason to why i need to put so much thought and effort into doing what others don't even notice they are doing.
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What do you wish people knew about autism and autistic people?
that people don't "look" a certain way. and definitely-my own husband has an out of date opinion of autism.
That all people on the spectrum get on.
They say my mother friend son has autism.
So it doesn't mean will get on.
Different interests, different personalty.
Same condition or disability your Channel when get on to autism is disability debate.
That we are intelligent
I wish they knew what it meant. Some people use the word autism to describe general stupidity, or just something that annoys them.
We aren't crazy or born wrong. We are not to be confused with insane or crazy people. And the most important one: we understand things pretty well. You don't need to worry about us not understanding why it's cold outside for example and you shouldn't try to explain anything to us or treat us like children.
This video isn't only what I wish neurotypical people knew about autism, but what I wish I had known years ago.
I'm in the process. Just started. My therapist said there's not many who can assess me and they mainly specialize in children. I didn't know what autism was until I saw one of Sam's videos and her story really resonated with me. The autism stereotype did not resonate...
@@gingercultleader5500 I had my lightbulb moment almost a year ago thanks to a TH-cam video. I'm still working towards a diagnosis (my assessment just had to be delayed to June due to Corona), but everything Sam says about her every day experiences just ticks all the boxes for me. I wish I had known sooner, it maybe could have saved me a whole lot of pain and confusion.
@@ginnystark4878 At least with this knowledge, we can be kind to ourselves through the process.
Me too
I'm 51 and only just getting here now😊
One of my hardest struggles is people not understanding that I can't necessarily do something easily just because I've done it a lot before
This is a great summary, I want people to know that I am not broken, I do not need to be fixed, I’m just wired differently. Sam you are an angel.
YES! *sighs* I keep...looking at something else while my parents talk to me and they think I’m shutting them out when I’m really not! I’m listening to them and I want to talk to them but there’s nothing really *TO* say. That’s what they don’t understand and they keep creeping me out by staring at me in the face while we’re eating and questioning me. I mean I don’t need to be fixed and...I like being like this, I just don’t like my parents being so pushy about everything and not knowing what’s going on.
I think of autism a bit like a cultural or language barrier. Neither "culture" is explicitly better or worse in the way they interact with each other, but both sides need to learn about the other and make accommodations to be understood.
I kind of think of it like being left handed. There is nothing “wrong” with being left handed; the challenges they face are because the world is designed for right handed people. Many of the challenges we face are due to the environment created by others; I am great as long as I can be in the environment designed for me!
@@nicolewood7957 I don't think the left-handed endure as much psychological misunderstanding.
@@coreycox2345 certainly not. But in the past many lefties were abused into using their non dominant hand.
@@nicolewood7957 that analogy doesn’t take into account a lot of very important factors - left handed people don’t face a lifetime of rejection for not being able to communicate well with right handed people. Left handed people don’t struggle at their jobs because of being left handed. Left-handedness is visible and easy to perceive just by watching which hand someone is using. Autism is not like that at all
This.
People don't realize that there are so many types of people on both sides.
It doesn't make one better than another. It takes everyone to make our team successful at work.
Many doctors' views on autism are outdated. Case in point: The doctor who diagnosed me was in her 30s, and knows very well what autism is in modern standards, and was able to spot my autism behind my masking through studying my life history, and interviewing my family to come to a diagnosis. However, another doctor who is in her 60s to 70s who graduated from Med school many decades ago when autism was only diagnosed for people who are very much more obvious just told me I am not autistic after I sit down for 5-10 minutes without interviewing my families - a modern standard now used as tool for diagnosing autism.
This is so true. My eldest son was never diagnosed even though he saw a professional. He was diagnosed with ADHD even though his ASD is very obvious. He is practically a textbook case. My youngest son was just diagnosed with ASD after an hour interview with a much younger doctor even though his traits are MUCH less obvious. I was never diagnosed because I went to school in the 80’s and am a master masker. I just had a lifetime of being “the weird kid”.
I wish people knew that it is pysichally painful to become overstimulated, to get to the point of melt down. It is not funny or cute. It hurts. For days afterwards.
For me it feels like a migraine that pluses for days.
@@helloitsme5638 Same here. Not to mention, it can also make me nauseous or even literally sick. I've literally had to call in sick to work before because an overload just got to me so much. It's not just a synonym for being overwhelmed, even though that's obviously a big part of it.
I “mentally rewrote” your psychically into physically, because my psychic attacks take it right out of my body! I have FMS/me and CFS and cytomegalovirus and the pain we get in the silver lining our muscles! I get ripples of pain running down my legs as well as arms and back and a great party will shred me! I mean, I adore a great party but they take a weeks preparation makeups I can count on, clothing soft but pretty not too glamorous but eye catching and if you do it all right an evening will cost you maybe 2 weeks pain/effort! If the party is a dud you have hurt yourself for a kind of painful dull ache!
Me working at a McDo. POS place had bajilion unecessary loud bips and blips, idiotic co workers who need to blast loud music making hard to even hear each other (which we had to all the time) and they also wnated you to have a ear piece because yes... I could figure out what would collapse first, my hurting back or my mind
I want people to know that kindness goes a long way.
@@helenhenninger835 - some people are deliberate bullies for sure; but I think it's a gap of understanding. There is such a thing as malingering, there is such a thing as being oversensitive, so when people don't understand what you're going through they're reaching for an explanation they can understand and if they get it wrong it could well feel abusive. More and more education is what is needed so people can understand. Then deliberate bullies would become recognisable and could be put in their place.
Before a few years ago I only ever met one person I knew to be autistic. She also had considerable learning difficulties and severe behavioural problems from years of abuse or neglect before she was adopted by someone who could understand, but could still barely cope at the worst times. This early exposure gave me no insight at all into what autism is. I think more widespread information has only been available quite recently, and it's so hard to make sense of I really don't think the "experts" really understand it either, so the message is garbled.
Voices like Sam's and yours are really important.
I wish people knew that I never do things to intentionally hurt or insult anyone. I'm not empathic, but I'm not mean either. I just want to go about my day on my own terms.
I joined reddit last fall, in hopes of reading some good tips or ideas on autism as my son (who is autistic) grows older. I read a few threads about women in autism, and was SHOCKED to see myself so clearly. My life has never made sense until I looked at it through the lens of autism. I absolutely love your videos, as we are similar in so many ways. Your insights into your behaviors have helped me so much.
I sent this one to my therapist in hopes she will understand why I feel the way I do. I'd love to pursue diagnosis, just to be able to get out from under the "she thinks she's autistic because of something she read on the internet". But there are zero professionals who can diagnose adults in my city. Thank you for stating that self-diagnosis is valid. I have no other options. This video is so good! Thank you!
Carey Smith
I'm in the same position as you only there are no professionals who can diagnose adults in my entire country. I've resorted to travelling to the UK to get a diagnosis but have actually found a clinic who can offer me a diagnostic opinion online. It's not a formal assessment but is an option for people like me who just want to know for sure and to have been diagnosed by a proffesional. Feel free to DM me if you're interested, I can give you more details about it.
Me too! There's no way for me to get diagnosed. And now that I KNOW that I'm autistic, everything suddenly makes so much sense, I can suddenly understand myself more, and even love myself more.
Hey Carey. I am in the same boat as you! I figured out that I was autistic after doing a bunch of research because I knew that my older son had more than just ADHD. My youngest was just diagnosed with probable ASD, which was actually pretty validating. I hope that you are doing well.
You know, that part when u talked about supressing stimming leading to poor mental health, it finally clicked why Ive felt so emotionally suppressed recently. My stim is singing, its what I am passionate about and how I communicate feelings, usually to myself. Since its "weird" to sing out loud for no apparent reason, Ive learned to keep it to myself and it really takes a toll, especially at work. If we can all accept everyone's and our own stims, it would really help bring more equality, with people on or not on the spectrum. Thank u for acknowledging this, I wish it were possible to subscribe more than once, have an awesome day😊❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Singing as a stim is a blessing and a curse. On the one hand it appears normal in many situations, on the other it appears so out of place in many others!
I know the feeling, sending you all my support
My son asks me why I turn everything into songs... so I suppose it’s one of my stims as well 😄
Totally understand 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@@AllyCat0909 i was doing that today haha , i only do it when i am happy ive noticed
I sing too! As a child my parents thought that meant I as destined to be famous singer and it me in all kinds of lessons and performances. But as I got older and began to realize how much I hate being in the spotlight, my singing only made me feel more out of place. It didn't help that some friends started to resent that I wasn't taking advantage of my 'gift'. I'm like Sam, diagnosed in my 30's, but I didn't even realize that was a stim for me! Thank you for posting this comment💛💛💛
Lately ive been stuck at home with my family, and I’ve felt really exposed and i don’t get the privacy and the space I normally get, and it’s been really hard, but sometimes when im in a bad space i just come and watch videos like yours and i feel a little more secure and a little more understood so thankyou.
“there are some autistic people who report they don’t have any empathy, but there are a lot of neurotipical people who don’t as well” is a great quote 👏
I just want to thank you so much for saying self diagnosis is valid. I tend to feel like I can't say that I'm autistic because I don't have a diagnosis, but getting a diagnosis would be so expensive that it would be financially crippling to even try to get one. At the same time, whenever I read or hear about autism, it fits my experiences so exactly that I feel a huge sense of relief, because finally there might be an explanation for why I've never been able to be normal. I'm actually stereotypical enough in my behaviors that I've been asked before if I was autistic, so it's nice to have someone else confirm that my self diagnosis can be valid.
I appreciate what you said about self-diagnosis. The more I learn about autism, the more I’m convinced I am autistic. I can totally relate to so much of what you said. I’ll be 60 in a couple of months, and I’m finally starting to understand why I’ve had so much trouble with some things like telephones and dread over completely benign social situations. Thank you for your insights.
Fantastic 😊 I've definitely trained myself to be avoidant of being blunt, but recently I've been getting more comfortable with just letting it out haha
as I have gotten older, I have gotten blunter!
Me too
"Sometimes, the nicer I am, the less comfortable I feel with the person." Hit so hard it fucking hurts. It's so exhausting.
Also as a father of an autistic daughter I'm starting to see I have a lot of the traits. As you just mentioned making a phone call that's exactly what I'm doing right now 😩. Thanks love the video 👍🏼
Thank you go another excellent video! I wish people knew that the struggle is real. As an undiagnosed female, it can feel very lonely and scary trying to explain my experiences without being made to feel like I'm making it up.
People think you are just trying to get attention.
Your point about self assessment and the difficulty getting access to diagnosis is so true. The processes on the NHS is shocking. I was referred for an assessment in 2018 on the NHS and am still waiting. Since then I've moved to a new area and have been told by doctors that I am not eligible to be re-referred until I have 'self referred' to a charity organisation to go through CBT, and to then try antidepressants. Only AFTER these things have been done would I be eligible for a psychiatrists help officially. (Side note I completed a self referral in London in 2018 and went through CBT, which didnt help me, but now that Ive moved that no longer counts because the hospitals and doctors are run by diffferent trusts. Also, why should I be medicated?!)
Its taken 3 years of fighting the NHS to finally cave and pay for a private assessment to be told that I do have autism but even still, even with a private diagnosis the doctors are still reluctant to give any further help because essentially as a late diagnosed adult I've managed to 'make it this far'
We need more support not just for autism testing but also the broader mental health spectrum in the UK, and with autism, especially with masking and the real crippling mental health issues we can be left with there certainly needs to be more understanding!
There still seems to be a huge opinion that we need to be medicated in order to fit in and function in 'normal society' the thing is we function very well just in different ways. The more information people have the less ignorance there will be and that can only be a good thing.
Laura Hodson I am so shocked to hear that about the NHS. CBT doesn't work if autistic and why would you take anti depressants. I want to get a diagnoses so wondering how long it takes where I live.. I can see me becoming more of an expert than the experts.
@@amberrichards8078 I've been told its a postcode lottery but the average wait on the NHS is 18-24 months and thats from referral, it could take you a year or so to get the referral in the first place. If you havent read it, Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder by Sarah Hendrickx is a really good book shes also got a few videos up on here that are worth a watch :)
I do take medication - but I have had problems with depression for over 30 years (and been suicidal at a few points) plus I have ADHD which was only recently diagnosed and the meds for that have helped me focus immensely. Not all meds are bad but if you don't need them you shouldn't be forced to take them.
Laura Hodson - that's an awful story. I think the NHS is catching up, but it's not uniform across the country.
A psychiatrist might recognise Autism quickly, should do so; a clinical psychologist would probably be more on point and would not be looking at drugs.
the law in the UK requires employers and public bodies to make "reasonable adjustments" to support autistic people, but the meaning of reasonable is quite flexible. One would think it should definitely include adjustments in thinking by medical organisations.
There's a useful resource explaining what autistic people should be able to expect on the following web page:
livingautism.com/autism-rights/
In Australia, as an adult I have to basically get diagnosis privately and get a fraction of the exorbitant fee back from our Medicare system. My 6 year old son has contended with almost non-existent wait lists because there are so many kids under assessment for something. At least we don't have to pay for it 🤷🏽♀️
What I wish they knew is that if they interrupt my hyperfocus and make me engage them, it's physically painful.
For me if I get interrupted it is very hard to recall the words to restart my statement over again.
I’m pretty much convinced I’m autistic and I was actually gonna get evaluated tomorrow, but with the whole quarantine situation my appointment had to be rescheduled 😭 I honestly can’t wait until I have an official diagnosis so I can tell everyone, and educate the people close to me about my issues.
I love you explaning that the symptoms change daily. I find that some days I am closer to "neurotypical" and then other days I'm struggling majorly. It makes me feel more valid.
That sometimes we turn down social things not because we don’t like you or don’t want to spend time with you, but because we know we’re already really close to becoming or already are overwhelmed and socializing requires so much effort even without being overwhelmed, not to mention the added sensory overload that often comes with social situations. We don’t hate you, we just need time to recover.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers and AD(H)D last year, when I'd turned 40. I was so good at masking, and still am. I just recognized that it's now or never.
I'm not even completely through the video and already want to give it several upvotes .
I wish my sister understood than when I use my autism to substantiate why I want to do something in a certain way (read: come up with a strategy to reach my goal in a way that seems realistic to me) she wouldn't dismiss it as just an excuse to not do it in 'the regular' way.
THIS!!! My autism is NOT an "excuse" to do things the way I want to do, or get out of things I don't want to do - it's how I'm neurologically hardwired! And it's just as much neurologically determined as my migraines, but you aren't getting on my case when I've got a migraine keeping me out of commission, now are you?
@@neuralmute The painful this is: she started a degree in social work. At least she's learning, but she always seemed have trouble grasping our brains are different. It's why some of her relationships stranded the way they did.
@@ammalyrical5646 Ouch! It sort of reminds me of my sister - she's an "enlightened" yoga instructor... but there are some things that she just DOES NOT GET. And probably never will.
@@ammalyrical5646 my older sister has a degree in speech pathology and has experience working with disabled people and she said I am not autistic even though I have been thoroughly diagnosed by professionals with all kinds of test including MRI scans because I am not like the severely disabled people she worked with.
@@Daxter609 Has anyone explained the meaning of the word "spectrum" to her, in the context of the autistic spectrum? Just because a person isn't as visibly or severely disabled doesn't mean that they don't have a condition as well! Why are our family members the last people to believe that we are actually neurologically different? Is it because it means that they'll have to start thinking about us differently, and just maybe owe us an apology or two along the way?
I'm repeating myself, but seriously another fantastic video u made. It's so satisfying being able to relate this much to things u say. Will also send this video around, like your first video of 'autism acceptance week'. I honnestly hope these will reach many people worldwide. U are good at explaining things in an accessible way, yet profound and informative.
I’m bingwatching all your videos! It’s so relatable! I’m now 26 and only three weeks ago my psychologist thought of autism I’m now on a waiting list to get diagnosed! I’ve been in and out therapy since I was 16. They thought it was depression or anxiety disorder but I didn’t felt it was me.. now I know it’s autism and is is so freeing to finally understand myself and my way of processing life. Thank you so much for your videos!
The big thing I want people to know and understand is that if I don't have the energy or capacity to go hang with you today its not something you have done. It's just my brain saying it needs a day of.
Yes, you've done nothing wrong and please don't stop inviting me to things, even if I say no a lot. Sometimes I may make it and if I can't, it's nice to know I'm still thought of rather than thinking I've been pushed out or forgotten, because I can't always make it.
I wish people knew your channel! Your videos actually made me realize I was autistic at age 32 and set me on the path to reading every possible book on the matter for 3 months. I am currently awaiting my assessment results but I already know them. Your content has effectively changed my life, for the better!!! Thank you so much xo
Ahh phone calls. I avoid if possible. Before my husband and I understood that I was autistic he would yell at me 'you're a 34 year old woman who can't make a simple phone call'?! I cant describe how much that hurt and made me feel misunderstood. Thankfully hes educating himself and is very supportive now. We need more current education about all disabilities, because my husband is not the first to put me down. More and up to date knowledge leads to more acceptance and understanding
"The nicer I am, the less comfortable I feel with that person."
So true!
It resonated with me so well that I almost cried. I wish people knew this about me:(
I did cry
A 51 I broke out in tears as I'm suddenly realizing I'm most probably very Autistic ❤
Your comment about comfort with people really resonated with me. I am scrupulously polite with people I don't know or don't like, while I can swear or insult the people I feel most comfortable with.
Your videos are like finally being able to take a deeeep breath after years of shallow breathing! Thank you for taking time to share all of your amazing thoughts, I’m always both learning and being comforted🌱❤️
Well done!
That bit about autistics do have empathy was interesting. After observing the sometimes lack of empathy on the part of both autistics and non-autistics, I came up with a theory about it. I think that in order to feel empathy towards another person, we must identify with that person in some way. A kind of recognition that this other person is like is like us in a way. Only then can we imagine being in their shoes and what that must feel like in the given situation.
If we don't feel that the other person is similar to us in at some way, then we're not able to identify with them and therefore can't imagine what it would be like to be in the particular situation. Autistics may have difficulty identfying with non-autistics precisely because we ARE different in many ways. So it can be difficult to identify with them.
Autistics often find it easier to identify with other autistics and can imagine what it feels like for another autistic person in a given situation. Non-autistics may think that they know how an autistic is feeling (empathy), but I find that they get it wrong quite often. Their empathy is misguided in such cases.
The failure to identify with another, seems to be the root of many conflicts in the world today. It's easy to vilify another person or group if we don't identify with them. If we don't identify with them, we can't imagine what it is like to be them in a given situation and that allows us to perpetrate all sorts of bad behavior towards them.
B.
The problem isn't that we lack empathy. The problem is that we don't express empathy in a way that NTs understand.
I just try to remember that the other person is capable of feeling pain. I might not feel pain for the same reason or in the same situation, but they are in pain. I have been in pain before so I can empathize. That is my personal Autistic reasoning.
@ Bryce White - There sense in this. The flip-side is the way during group conflicts the opposing sides demonise each other to justify atrocious behaviours, they cast each other in roles they can't identify with and then anything goes.
@@psychoprosthetic Politics in USA right now for sure.
@@Catlily5 - yeah, the dark underbelly of the US rednecks have been brought out of the closet by Trump. I hope he splits the GOP, because they're not at all Grand at the moment, shameful more like; but there are surely some good folk buried in there.
But groups always do this. I happens in all wars. It happens in conversations about crime when people do not want to face the potential evil within themselves, and it happens a bit more civilly but just as divisively when there are differences in outlook.
I find Bryce's suggestion plausible as at east part f the dynamic with the gap in understanding autistic people by the mainstream.
I'm 35, from Brazil, and.I'm devouring your videos, thank.you for sharing. made me feel understood
„Listen to autistic people“. Reading „the reason I jump" was a wake up call. I realised that the author's explanations made such complete sense to me. It was the starting point of a journey of learning for me, also learning things about myself that I had never realised before.
"Non-autistic people interpret our communication according to their own standards." And when it's your partner who does this, and they just don't seem to learn, because 'obviously what society says must to more true than what I say', I'm starting to feel really hopeless...
Thank you for making this, so rare to find someone who can describe my experience. On the rare occasion where I do, I feel a weight lifted from my chest for a few minutes
As an autistic person the last one was actually pretty helpful for me, because I feel like I should just be improved and keep that improvement but it's hard.
I took two courses about autism: one free introductory course given by Berkley online and a graduate educational course given by the University of Delaware years ago when I thought I might be able to get full-time work in the Sussex Consortium working with autistic students. Neither course understood it from the inside and the higher education system only knows the mechanics of ABA which has been exposed as junk science because its modifications don't last. Even their statistics do not demonstrate any significant command of mathematics such as standard deviations, Gauss' bell curve and its convergence, let alone the differential operators needed to properly define a trend in the simulated precision of crudely quantified observations and "measurements" of behaviour.
One faculty with whom I car pooled to an autism conference in Pittsburgh sat on committees for doctorate dissertation defenses and he told me I would never have lasted in a psychology degree program on autism because such programs are unable to tolerate failure to guess what opinions the people with whom one must get along to stay in such a program expect and require. Mathe and physics were far easier where no salesmanship was needed to do problems and to prove theorems and algorithm performances.
I'm not great with words, I did enjoy this video, it was so clear
My wife and I are 67. She has decided she is autistic and I agree. After watching your videos and others I understand her so much better. I knew she was different 22 years ago when we got together but after listening and watching you I now have a basic set of tools to understand her needs and ways. Thank you for sharing yourself, your making the autistic world a better place. This information was needed decades ago and I’m so glad it available now!
Thank you so much Sam... it filled me with tearful joy to hear someone I look to with a diagnosis tell me my self diagnosis is valid. ❤ Thank you
Hon..you’re an angel and an evangelist for autistics…it’s so hard to covey how meaningful your videos are to us, so just know that what you do makes a difference. You are one of the few that makes me feel a tiny bit less lonely for a moment. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes…
After a week now of watching these videos about Autism, an internal light has slowly gotten righter and brighter.
At the end of this video I wondered out loud to myself and said "I think I have Autism" and spontaneously burst into tears. Tears that very quickly turned into tears of elation and acceptance.
At 51 years old I feel run down and trapped within a self-made prison where I'm safe from the outside world. But I'm also dieing of fear of spiraling into the darkness of my fractured mind.
Knowing now that most of my intense symptoms and traits aren't me going insane but instead a condition which I can learn to live with rather than fight against.
At the moment I feel I'm on the edge of trying out a new found superpower that I've suddenly become aware of 🤔😊🔥
... that we’re not here to ‘fit in’ with you (nt’s) or your life styles but to learn to live as us in a way that compliments and nourishes our unique ways of being in the world ❤️ and if we don’t ‘fit in’ with your ways, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us!!!
One of the best posts I’ve ever seen on autism.
I’m stating this as a recently diagnosed ASD - level 1 person, 48 years of age.
happy autistic awareness month
Thank you for this video. I was diagnosed 3 1/2 months ago. I am 62. If anything, this will be helpful for me.
Your channel is amazing. I had a person tell me once that it's like I was walking in 2 worlds. It's so true. Sometimes I'm so clear, everything is so easy, other days, I'm so off the rails I don't want to even talk. I can get angry at the drop of a hat and later wonder what I was even mad at, is it logical? The worst is when people tell jokes and I can't tell if they are serious or picking on me. One day I understand the conversation I'm in and can even have great insights, other times I can't even understand what people are talking about. It's such a strange thing to explain to people.
Oh, I wish that "normal" people understood that tickling actually hurts sometimes and when I tell you to stop rubbing my arm with your fingertips, and you don't, it's annoying and pisses me off.
I am of the same belief: That those on the spectrum are best qualified to educate us on said 'invisible disability'. Thank you for helping me better understand my beloved husband. BEST WISHES to you in your endeavors and many BLESSINGS. Greetings from California. 💛💛💛
I can so relate on the phone calls!!!! you could not have stated it better! I just sat here on repeat, replaying it. I see my mcas dr Wednesday and asking about an autistic diagnosis, i have you by ten, 50, been like this since i was a kid! Thanks for your great videos!
So relatable! Thanks for being here 💜
These videos have done wonders for me. I started with another channel done by a male with autism and his content really helped make sense of the information I had come across on autism. So I went from suspecting being autistic to being fairly certain and then I found your channel. Now I am basically 100% certain I am autistic. This channel has allowed me to finally breath deep and be relieved that there really is a place where I belong/fit in, in this human world.
You have allowed me to see the world that is open to my quirks and wierdities. That is inviting and actually feels safe. One where I don't have to use up all of my energy banks trying to navigate through it. Your videos and how you explain their contents resonate with me at 100%, and I feel so at home for the first time in a community. Not diagnosed but there is no doubt in my mind after watching your videos. Through the autistic lens, everything that has been different and "off" about me now makes sense. I no longer feel like I have been failing at being human/NT but rather, I'm a pretty competent autistic human. I'm actually ok.
I want you to know that I thank you so so much for making these videos. ❤
Autism is a cube that borders with the neuro typical cube. Say (0/0/0) is the connection point between the cubes and that they are mirrored, then someone who is good with small talk (say at (-1/-1/-1)) is exactly mirrored to someone that is bad with it on the AS (1/1/1). So there are as many different types of autism as there are types neuro typical personalities. Both are nuances of certain stereotypes.
It feels ... (i have no idea how it feels, maybe because I have alexithymia :D) but I get the feels when I'm reading so many comments about people having difficulty with getting diagnosis. I can't get a formal diagnosis myself because it's not done in my country. Imagine how many more of us have been flying under the radar for so many years, suffering needlessly and living a life of confusion and alienation. :(
Thank you very much, Sam! For making these videos and for helping put words to our struggles in an informative and simple way. ❤️
I am autistic and I wish people knew that we are not RUDE if we communicate differently or don’t make eye contact (for some people) and that they shouldn’t stereotype us
Or those of us who make too much eye contact (after studying people to mask more effectively), but have no clue where the line is with a "normal" amount of eye contact. Apparently, making constant eye contact makes people feel uncomfortable, so I now make, probably too much, then realise I've probably made too much, then consciously look away. Now I have no clue what was being said, as I became self conscious about making too much or too little eye contact. Masking doesn't always help you blend in. I've started not making eye contact with some people I know well, some of the time and it's so much easier to follow what they're saying, rather than being distracted by thoughts of "have I been intensely staring at that person for too long now?"
Thank you so much,
this video is perfect and explains so much about what I really wish people knew,
This means a lot to me and I think I finally feel brave enough to tell people about autism,
if I show them this to explain, so they'll believe me!
Thank you for this! I was just diagnosed yesterday and yours is one of the channels I’ve been watching over the last few months, since I was referred, to learn about myself and accept myself. Thank you for making these videos 💗
I have a couple of friends who are autistic and i am learning more about autism thanks to your channel
Love this video. It's all so true. And many of these things are why neurotypical people think you are lying when you say you have Autism. They expect us to be visibly different.
I wish I had a way to get properly diagnosed. As it stands now, I'm still in that limbo where I'm not sure what is real and what is imagined. I watch videos like these and I may think that I can relate and understand, but that gives me no confidence at the end of the day.
Your videos make me feel less alone, it wasn't until recently I self diagnosed. But haven't told anyone, it isn't shame I feel. But scared It'll be met with doubt, and questions I can't explain. Your content has been helping me. Thank you.
Hi Sam, I just watched this and loved it, I am new to autism, I'm 48 and self diagnosed for the meantime until I can find a way to get a full diagnosis without stress. I only want the diagnosis, so that I can become an ambassador for Autism particularly at my work where they are just introducing themselves Autism friendly. I didn't study psychology as engineering got in the way, but I studied craniosacral therapy and birth trauma for a good 10 years and am qualified to practice. I too found the same thing as you, autism comes into the world of craniosacral therapy a lot as it's a very good non invasive therapy for children and actually takes a similar space to psychotherapy (which most of my fellow students were already long qualified in and practicing during my training). In trying to understand it, the whole antivaxxer topic was in full flow, which massively skewed any clinical experience that my teachers and other students had, and from my own point of view, they also have a wrong understanding of. To me it's almost as if Mother Nature and evolution had thrown in an alternate reality in some people to see if it takes, and in this world of tech, where face to face communication takes a back seat, and logical structure thrives, I would not be surprised if this was some kind of evolutionary branch of the homo sapien. I work in TV and there are loads of people here that I would definitely say were likely autistic, all of them tech people, developers and dev ops, but none that I have noticed as project managers or coordinators. Just my thoughts, I would like to put this forward as useful resource for helping NT's understand autism as they are actively looking for ambassadors (which I have requested to become) and useful resources to help understand what we go through, as you have understanding of how the clinical world thinks autism is compared to your own experience, and that is gold dust.
I thoroughly appreciate the knowledge you share on autism. I'll continue to learn from your videos. You're like a true friend I've never met. I care about you. Stay sweet.
I wish people knew that just because I have low empathy doesn't mean that I'm mean or selfish. I've been called these things before but it's simply because I don't understand neurotypical people's feelings. I'm not trying to be rude or self-centered it's just that I am the only person that I understand sometimes so it's easier to pay attention to my own feelings than try to interpret someone else's.
Absolutely !
Fully agree. You're not alone....
I had a good day today, made loads of people laugh and felt like I was quite fluid with the conversation and "banter".
I wish more days were like this one. It feels good when people can smile and laugh because of your input for once...call it selfish but I love knowing that I have made someone laugh at some point in their day.
Thanks for the videos you share. I have members of my family who are autistic and this was very insightful. I love hearing of your experiences and perspective. It’s SO helpful! I certainly don’t understand how it feels to be autistic, and the experiences that autistic people live with everyday, but I hope it will help me be more aware and work harder to listen. Thanks again!
Thanks for all the videos Sam. What I wish people knew is that meltdowns are not something we can snap out of and that we’re not doing it to hurt anyone
Seven. Oh my God yes. People always think I'm insulting them when I'm actually trying to be nice by being straightforward.
Thank you for sharing this video. I only just found your channel and immediately subscribed. I was not diagnosed until i was 48. I am blessed, celebrating our 3rd anniversary today actually, with an amazing NT woman. I was up front with her about my struggles when we first started to talk. I struggle to explain what i go through with her, and even though she is amazingly understanding and patient, i know i frustrate her. This can lead to a spiral of sorts. I struggle, and i sense the frustration in her, which causes anxiety in me, making me struggle with my tendencies, which frustrates her... ad infinitum (of sorts). I fear that some day, i will not be able to short circuit my own spiral, that i will drive her away one day.
This empathy thing really bothers me. I'm literally the biggest empath I know, and I have been all my life. It absolutely infuriates me that people believe that we can't feel empathy. It's a horrible assumption, because it makes us out to look like monsters
I feel like it's projection on the NT's part. They can't empathize with us, or misinterpret us, so they assume *we're* the ones without empathy. It might also be a way to mistreat us, justifying their own lack of empathy because why empathize with someone incapable of it themselves?
Alot of people go years not knowing theyr autistic or even that theres a possibility. If you see these signs in someone repeatedly it may be good to bring it up, because sometime getting care can make a huge difference. Imagine being born missing a foot and no one notices till your 25 or older. I think it would be stressful and confusing cause everyone knows something's wrong but not what and so we just push forward not knowing the damage it causes.
I've been watching every single video and I've have never found a more comprehensive mound of information. I feel like you turned a light on for me. I've just been crying in relief the more I learn because I make so much more sense now. and the reassurance that a diagnosis isn't necessary to be valid is really important bc of how healthcare lacks in the US. you are so nice and wonderful for making these videos. 10000 virtual hug vibes to you. thank you. 💙
I wish people knew how paperwork processes like school and employment applications and filing for taxes (in the US) can be a thousand times more complicated for us.
Yes!!- To every single thing you said here, thank you!! A great video that I'm sure I will be sharing with some people to spread the wonderful knowledge. :)
I love your videos. I also was diagnosed with autism in my early 30s. Your information is very accurate. Thank you for making all of your videos. People need to know this information.
My son is 16, and today we’re seeing a psychiatrist. This whole school year, we’ve gotten nowhere with the school and a psychologist to get a diagnosis. I never saw anything until this past year. It’s now very obvious to me now because he started stimming, and noises set him right off. Fingers crossed that we’ll get an official diagnosis, and he can get some help that will help him feel better about who he is.
Loving your videos iv been recently diagnosed at age 40 and still trying to learn about my diagnosis your videos are helping Thankyou
Thank you. I immediately subscribed. As an autistic parent of an autistic daughter I have a struggle every day.
Thank you. Thank you very much. I really mean it. Your combination of personal life experience and education plus your willingness to put yourself out there and do these videos is unique treasure.
I love that you support self dx. Thank you!
I'm so glad that I follow you now
This was such a breath of fresh air to watch! Thanks! I'm autistic and have shared in hope it helps people realise what autism is and accept my diagnosis 😊💐
Geese girl, “in your 30’s” is a lifetime? LOL! Your videos are a great help, even for an old 66 yr old just diagnosed! Several lifetimes, but not the last I hope! Keep up the good work! 🤩
Thanks. What I wish you knew is that your episodes are relevant, accurate, and validating. I think they are getting better all the time and I look forward to your content. What I wish the world knew is what I struggle with. I made a two episode series which tells of my own package, and there are things mentioned that touch on how I struggle to communicate the way I really want and intend to. I usually have to do word searches during speaking times in that words intended are diverted to a place other than my speaking part of the brain, so that I require time to process my words, but most people don't use patience to wait until I am done speaking. This drives me to ultra frustration, though I try to keep up with what they are saying so I can follow their thoughts. Then my thoughts are thrown off track. This is also frustrating since what they actually hear me say is not my full thoughts, and so they are getting a very different picture than what they need to. I am not what or who they think I am.
Something I would like to know from neurotypicals: When people say "don't expect the world or other people to change for u" and "we can't change things" etc. What do u mean with that, why can't it be changed, which are the actual reasons to why not? From my perspective it does seem possible to make society more autism/neurodivers friendly. Do u mean: we can't because of practical reasons? Or most people don't want and therefor we can't?
i honestly think that most NT's just don't want to be bothered with learning about autism and having to change their comfortable way of being, when they were getting along fine before, and we were masking and suffering silently. I know that's a cynical opinion, but it's a situation I've run into time and again, even from some usually very understanding individuals in my own family. They just don't get it, and they don't comprehend why we can't accept that.
@@neuralmute I think about it the same way. I just want to hear people admit it honnestly, and not hide behind "we can't" and leave it there. If we let people get away with that, then I'm affraid that indeed nothing will change. I just don't get the attitude, just let us struggle for ever then? And what about blind people or people in a wheelchair for example, everyone agrees they deserve to get help (I hope). But making an efford for autistics goes too far? I personally don't see any logic in the way people discriminate. I don't even know what to do about it in my personal life. My first reaction is not wanting to deal with people who don't want to make adjustments. But I'm scared to end up with an even smaller social circle than now...till nearly no one will be left. Being autistic I tend to be selective about so many things already. I'm not sure where to draw the line.
@@noor-5187 I've been taking a pretty uncompromising approach outside of my immediate family, but I've also got a history in activism, so it sort of comes naturally. Like, I actually work in the mental health field (after having been on the other side of it, being misdiagnosed and overmedicated), and I also grew up as the notorious "school lesbian" (because of course every high-school *only* has one!), so I've done a fair bit or advocacy for mental health, and I've marched in more Pride Parades than I've bothered to count. I don't have time to deal with people who don't have time to accept me as I am. Discrimination of any kind is bullshit, period, and I call people on it. Sometimes social circles need to be measured by quality rather than size. It's a lesson I learned over time, the hard way. I hear you about being ridiculously selective over everything though! It's because we notice everything, isn't it? Btw, totally OT, but I just find Noor to be a very lovely name! :)
@@neuralmute So u learned to stand up for who u are. That's really good and important. I still have to learn that even at age 30. I'm very morals/ethics orientated and can't bear injustice, yet I'm scared to be seen and judged so I make myself small. My way of being never has been encouraged, so I guess I'm one of the many autistics with a very low self-esteem. Thank u for the compliment :) Noor is actually a part of my name, I was scared if I put my real full name, people would recognize me and judge me on my opinions, that's how bad I struggle with self confidence, sad but true😕 And yes about being selective and seeing everything! For example when someone around me does something that doesn't align with my morals, I'm always tempted to take distance from them. While no one else seems to get stuck at it...for me seems a big deal and it takes so much energy to filter out the bad feeling it gives me and to get over it. Even when it doesn't directly involve me. Someone wasting lots of water by not fixing a broken tap for months for example, something 'small' like that already can make me appreciate that person less and make me judgde them like "I don't like unconscious people who waste, I don't want this person in my life". It's driving me crazy cause I'm always the only one who cares and people don't understand. It's true tho, quality is more important than quantity when it comes to social life! But people warn me that I might end up alone if I keep being this specific and selective. I don't know, I guess I need to find a healthy balance. Anyway, thank u for your response, good luck with everything :) x
@@noor-5187 Wow, I understand all of that so much! I've come to this point in my 40's, so you've got time! Life's the journey, right? And I use a pseudonym from a mix of the title/characters of one of my favourite books, to avoid being recoginised by anyone from my "real" life when I'm online too. I still worry about judgment, but more among the people I'm close with, rather than the rest of the world. I know that the "mainstream" world will judge me for being a gay little punk who refuses to sit down and shut up, or dress and act like a woman is supposed to, especially at my age. But I *like* my blue spiky hair and tattoos, and my nieces think it's cool, so it's good. But YES, people who waste, or people who litter, or don't recycle, or who talk shit and discriminate against anyone, or lack basic compassion, I just can't deal with that in my life! I feel like I pretend that I've got more confidence than I do, that I've got this bravado, and maybe it's like Sir Anthony Hopkins in this video; I grew up doing performing arts, training in classical music and ballet, and so I spent a lot of time onstage. I still do ballet - it's the best full body workout in the world, and it was one of my first obsessive interests, but it slipped under the radar because every little girl is obsessed with ballet, right? (eye roll) I used to joke that I only get stage fright when I'm not onstage, and that's still sort of true. And I've learned the hard way that sometimes being alone for a while is necessary, and better than being with the wrong people. I really hope you don't have to go through that one! Anyway, take care, and be well. I think you're on the right path! :)
I wish people knew how hard I try to be liked. That getting ghosted and or not liked for how i am hurts. That I put so much effort to be someone they would like to be around. Though it never seems to work out. That I care, even when I don't sound like I do.
That when I say " I didn't mean it that way" isn't an excuse..I literally didn't mean it whatever way and I can't figure out a way to really say what I mean and how I mean it.
That it can be lonely.
That I don't mask to lie. I do it to make them not hate me or dislike me. ..that maybe a lot but I feel like I have even more
Thank you. We all appreciate your videos. Keep it up!
Thank you!
Everything you say clicks in my brain! Aha!
My son is autistic and I was diagnosed as having ADD with other learning disabilities-Even was kicked out of Catholic school on 2nd day!
But everything makes so much more sense!!
Thank you. For no reason at all this video made me cry.
Wow, you're incredibly well spoken. Thank you for this video
Yes the bluntness ...
Though I appreciate your comment about autism not having a look, I find that people regard my facial expression as odd.
When I was young my mother told me I looked very serious, even stern.
I was surprised by this as I was just relaxed, not moody.
I once relaxed and looked in the mirror and saw what I refer to as my "autist face".
I am aware it looks odd to happy smiling NT people but I am not thrilled about forcing myself to smirk constantly as it makes my face ache and takes too much concentration.
I actually have a very good sense of humour but it tends to also be unusual and very dry.
I got a sunflower lanyard which is supposed to indicate a hidden disability, but the one time I wore it people spoke to me as though I were simple.
Very interesting the fact about emphaty. It is what makes me get doubts. I am so related to autism traits, but I was always listenning on videos that autistic people lack emphaty. I'm very emphatic about everything, but I dont know how to show people it and mostly of times, I exagerate my emotions or I just ignore it because I dont know how to show it.
As everything in my life tends to have such an undertone...my son has Autism...& I was born on April 2nd.
I wish they people knew that many of us didn't know we had the damn thing..We were as blind as they were ..It startled us ,possibly. Myself ,anyway.
To be honest i was surprised how much people knew, I'd never heard of autism until 23, when i met my friend who's son is autistic.
She said she knew in minutes i was obviously autistic, but it took a couple of years before i accepted it as likely.
Then when i started talking to people at work about it, many of them said, "we already know" or words to that effect.
So essentially since childhood everyone but me has known I'm autistic.
Atleast i can now attach a reason to why i need to put so much thought and effort into doing what others don't even notice they are doing.