So true...I am in a relationship...HE wants to open our relationship after many wonderful years together. We are not married but committed and monogamous with incredible sex lives. He is waning ....slowly going blind...he has been blind in one eye since childhood. His hearing is going and he has developed non treatable ED in the past mos. The pills worked for him for several yrs but no longer. He still has orgams so our sex life is still great and he gives me long rolling orgasms that last and last. He is very uninhibited about sex and wants me to now find a friend with benefits. His preference would be to watch us or have a threesome MFM no M to M contact. He has done this before in his marriage which was open and swinging.I have never had an open relationship or been a swinger. He says me meeting a FWB elsewhere for sex is also acceptable, as long as I share what went on later. I have been considering this for about a year now and am ready to begin to look.I am a total baby at picking up a man, approaching a man. I am younger than my mate and in good health amd shape so I think at least some men 50 and up would be attracted to me....curvy trim body, feminine face, blond hair, tourquoise eyes, decent body, 5ft 4in and anyone 5'6" man would be great with me. Intelligent and a good conversationalist...not selfish in bed. I love oral both ways and am told I am talented...I do enthusiastically love to give it so that is likely why.I wont now tolerate what so many guys were like in my youth "wham bam thank you mam" totally inept at pleasuring a woman...I want a gentleman who knows the first rule of swinging "she comes first" and has the patience for the 20 minute or so build up it takes women on average. The better HE is the better I will be...I am multi orgasmic so like.long sessions of at least an hour sometimes two...older men last longer just naturally but a man who is as into pleasing a woman as I am into pleasing a man will have a highly motivated sex partner . I HOPE there are some out there. I will be interviewing them as I hope they will be intetviewing me for what THEY want. I'd like to have a couple of men because I would want to see each a couple of times a month at least and the two not because I am greedy, but to keep too much emotional connection from forming. My relationship with my mate will ALWAYS have primacy...40.yrs of love cannot be replaced! I think I may be polyamorous...or would like to be with less commitment and time to the other two of course. Any other females have luck finding this? Or. Am I looking for the impossible? I live abroad in a Latin country...in a tourist town we do get some seasonal vititors who stay the summer or winter so likely it will be one of those who is single or in an open relationship...I am and want no emotional DRAMA. I am an academic psychologist and professor so have seen PLENTY of that and want NONE in my personal life.
I love how vulnerable she looks when he’s telling her why he loves her. It appears like shes receiving with a very open heart that has been battered and bruised but still has courage to be open for love
She told him she’s only with him because she got pregnant. How worthless do u think that makes him feel. Such an unhappy sentiment to express, I feel bad for him. She seems very cold, not vulnerable IMO
The relationship seems very open. I got a sense that they would have discussed most of the questions asked. But the man seem so empty and unhappy. The woman seem so self assured and free because she got everything from the man she wanted.
5:43 the interviewers also wondered as they give this question. It feels like he is sad, but the sadness does not get a space, as well as his true desire.
He seems empty because polyamory favours the female, not the male. It’s a simple fact that a women can find partners at the click of a button in 5 minutes. The married poly man will be treated with distrust by all but a very few women.
@@christianguthrie6614 That is SO off the mark, in my opinion. Maybe ignorant people will make assumptions about a polyamorous person based on their marital status and gender, but who cares about those people? They're not the ones I want in my circle. Sure, some women have more access to potential partners, but how many crappy, creepy, time-wasting or incompatible options do you think she needs to sort through to find a promising choice? Quantity does not equal quality. I'm a man and I have had no trouble in my life finding dates/partners.
@Jason Cammeyer without being disrespectful, to either gender, maybe men are less mature / less willing to take on responsibility and women likewise, both more entitled and have have either over romantic immature expectations or too cynical perhaps. In most poly couples the women is in greater demand. A person who wants to steps out of fairytales, and into adulthood through rites of passage, to put away childish self seeking thing, to be in relationship to love more than be loved, will find happiness and also be a great life partner to someone being with them as both grow and change as we age. Best wishes
I must have watched a different video than some of the other people commenting. To me, they sound like two people who love each other and who have done so for more than two decades through work and respect. Real people and real life, not fairy tales, Hollywood movies, or the fiction sold in magazines.
Seriously! They clearly care a lot for each other and share the kind of comfort that comes from being in such a long term relationship. I think it was a sweet video
Wow so many people in the comments seem to have a totally takeaway than me. I didn’t take her comment about getting pregnant meaning that’s the only reason she was with him, but the reason she chose him in the beginning. People say there is tension, but I feel they are connected.
Agreed!! I think they look nervous about how exposed the conversation is (who wouldn’t be, there’s an audience!!) and that people have trouble recognizing the kind of deep love that choosing one another for 24 years involves. The respect and admiration they spoke of one another with was so romantic to me, but I think people expect love to always look like the fiery early love that a lot of these videos show.
Their respect for each other as people - as well as their love - is obvious in their conversation. And it's nice to see a good example as a poly couple on the show!
Lovely couple. I’m glad they found the openness they craved. I’m learning how to give my 7 year relationship openness and space right now, and I definitely wish we would have ventured here sooner. I crave being alone as well, and it has nothing to do with anyone else.
She obviously initiated the “open”relationship and he went along with it because he was afraid he’d lose her completely. Now , years later, he detests her and probably himself for accepting it
You can tell he loves her so much by the way he looks at her. I feel like something happened to her when she was younger that she never really dealt with and felt she couldn’t deal with because she got pregnant and married so fast. Now she’s finally letting herself explore what’s missing in her life and I applaud and give her husband so much respect for sticking around and being so open and for giving her the freedom to do so. I wish them both luck and happiness ❤️
Glad they are doing this... definitely the first one I’ve seen where the couple seems like things have been really tough and that they may not have overcome some of those tough things yet... like there are still some very touchy subjects between them (and that’s ok) ..
It's really hard that polyamory is so judged and misunderstood. I'm so glad I've found it and it's awesome to hear this amazing couple talk about it. I'm proud of them
When she said he’s still in her life because she got pregnant, it broke my heart to hear it wasn’t for love but I sense they’re not exactly on the same page. Relationships can really suck 😭
@@mediokritet God, this makes me so glad that I never listened to my overtly religous family who told me to get married young with kids... the older I get, the more I value my freedom so so much.
Insteresting. That's not how I took it at all. I felt it was so honest. They have great communication and trust. I took it as "at that stage I wasn't looking for anything steady - but life had other plans". That's how it *started* but the 24 years of marriage represent a conscience choice. These two are not the type to stay married out of convenience or social pressure
This was a very interesting conversation, I am in my forties and can relate to some of the life phase issues they are going through. Thank you couple for your vulnerability and honesty!
First one of these skin deeps I’ve watched where I felt like cringing. I got the feeling he is very unhappy and she comes across as narcissistic, I know I know 🤷♀️🤷♀️I’ve only watched a few minutes of their life together but that is my first impression of them both , I don’t get a good vibe of her and I think he is drop dead gorgeous,. She had a bit of a panick when she thought he may not come back after his 3 month trip and that hurt her ego because she didn’t think for a minute he felt like that. He should run from this relationship and I think he will one day
Who knows if she's narcissistic but he does want out. She panicked about him wanting to leave and that's why she really praised him afterwards. He'll likely leave in time.
I don’t usually comment, but I came here looking to see if anyone else may have come across this impression. I strongly agree with all you’ve said. Nothing bad against either person in the video, just observing this conversation to learn a new perspective myself even.
What wife would not panick if their husband wouldn’t come back after 3 weeks ?? It’s natural they are married , that’s no sign to run away . Strong Marriages go through allot together is 2 imperfect together for allot of years .
Why does everyone judge so quickly? If you have never been in a similar or the same situation, then you cannot judge or relate. Personally, I don't want a open relationship. But if they do, it's their problem. Everyone is responsible for their own life.
People get really defensive when they see a relationship that doesn't reflect one they want personally. I think almost every video has comments of people saying couples are bad together/awkward/dishonest when it's clearly not the case. People like playing armchair therapist I guess
This video made me cry because THATS WHAT I WANT! I'm in a marriage currently of 10 years and WE are both UNHAPPY! because of us not meeting certain expectations which is making us drift apart, keep secrets from eachother, judge eachother in nasty ways, cause consistant arguements amongst eachother, and causes us to not defend eachother when we need eachother. I've come to the conclusion that after learning about polyamory that I want that to balance things out in my life while still being with her because I LOVE HER after everything we've gone through, but I'm not happy with her and I feel like polyamory if shes willing to go that route with me would definitely be a BIG help at balancing out our needs to show our true selves to eachother and to care for eachother and fight less with eachother because we accept eachother and want to see the other happy.
These two are brave... So great to see that honesty and groundedness. Ich finde ganz großartig zu sehen, dass ihr euer Leben genau so gebaut habt, wie ihr es wolltet - und nicht in der stinkigen Vorstadt geblieben seid.
Von ihm bin ich mir nit 100%ig überzeugt dass es mit der offenen Beziehung nicht 100% ihre Idee war. Der scheint eher so der Typ fürs häusliche, u. nix mit poly dies u. das...Der liebt sie natürlich, gab aber irgendwann mal nach um ihr zu gefallen...geh ich wenigstens davon aus...
I'm sure she brings so much joy to this relationship. She reads as a Sagittarius and second place maybe an Aquarius. When couples are being honest and unearthing desires that can be unconventional yet feel liberating, it can be difficult to talk about especially with cameras. Shifting from monogamy to polyamory, a relationship structure that does not have the same level of social respect/regard as monogamy- that can be a scary (but worth it) convo. It requires vulnerability and interrogating normative assumptions. They're doing deep work and are likely just in the newish/awkwardish stage as is normal when going against the grain to do what's best for you & your partnership
Two people harboring massive resentment towards one another is beautiful? The woman seemed particularly callous with regard to his feelings, but both appear pretty checked out of the relationship. Hollow. I found it very depressing
This was interesting and beautiful. Even though I don't think that polyamory would work for me, I can see that it works for them. You can see how much love and mutual respect is between them, and it's just a lovely thing.
$100 says she is the one who initiated the open relationship. He went along with it as a strategy to keep his wife and his marriage. But it seems to be wearing on him. Let’s check back with them in a year.
For a couple who have been together for 24 years and who are meant to be in such an ‘open and honest’ relationship, they are extraordinarily awkward with each other
Or maybe they aren’t actually that close. Her first statement isn’t he’s in her life because she loves him, it’s because she got pregnant otherwise she’d have moved on. There’s an odd distance between them
What was beautiful about this? Two people with event resentment towards each other but too old to do much about it. The woman seemed particularly callous with regard to his feelings, but both appear checked out of the relationship. I found it very depressing.
Wow I respect that you both appear to have worked on your relationship to grow individually and together as a family. You both appear to be very mindful and thoughtful in how you communicate with each other. I'm making the assumption this is because of the love and respect you have for each other. Thank you for showing us how to be open, honest, and loving in a relationship.
Two people clearly harboring massive resentment towards one another is beautiful? The woman seemed particularly callous with regard to his feelings, but both appear pretty checked out of the relationship. Very hollow. I found it quite depressing
@@Torakan1 Thanks for your reply. I feel what your saying. And I didn't miss what you saw. I sat back thought about it for moment. And this what I came up with. You never know how much you love someone until you stop loving them. Real love comes when the honeymoon is over. Jesus died on the cross for our sins and imperfections and not because we deserved it. Love is beautiful but sometimes it's not pretty. I just read in between the lines differently.
@@tawandahaulcy8700 Yea but bringing 3rd parties into their relationship is just another step down the road to divorce. Jesus required believers repent of their sins and turn away from past lifestyles, not continue in the same worldly ways. These two aren’t changing anything, they’re doubling down on the actions that led to their distance. Just because they’re “honest” about that doesn’t make it a good or admirable thing. Feel bad for their kids
@@Torakan1 Your making alot of valid points. What I admire is the truth about love it can involved twist and turns and ups and downs. Not to indicate that this is good for them or anyone else. But this so happens to be their truth in that or this moment in time. We can go all day about what's right and wrong. However, Jesus also said yea without sin cast the first stone. Nobody I hope would want kids to be hurt. The reality is that we all hurt people in our lives because we're imperfect. But hopefully when we know better we will do better.
I would love for me and my boyfriend to be up there I watch these videos all the time it gives me so much peach and humbleness to no that love comes in different varieties but all the same and I would love to give it a try
I was married for 25 years, to someone not open to polyamory. if they had been, I imagine we would look a lot more like you as a couple. love this vid. I wish I had met a couple like you earlier in my life.
I feel like such an attractive couple would choose a young thing vs. someone that is your ages. I feel like that is sad,as someone line me could surely add so much to this type of relationship. As an attractive 52 yr old woman, I don't see the husband accepting that in the relationship.
Connection and intimacy are not a one stop shop. It has never been in the history of mankind. They’ve been married for an extended period of time and things change. Instead of ending the marriage, they modified it to fit more of each other’s needs. After 20+ years, being open broadens the relationship you have with an individual. You really have to dig deep into who you are and what you want. It’s possible and works for many different people. Divorce is not always what people want so imagine if everyone modified the relationship to fit who they are vs what people don’t understand
I respect there wishes but seems tough to have a relationship like that but hats off to them. I think to be friends and love each other from a far would be a lot healthier but it’s there life. To be single and not have any kind of pressure is a lot safer.
What is the attachment styles of people in polyamorous relationships? And how would they look on the big five traits test? Not that it’s one fixed thing but certain characteristics would match. Anxious attachment would be open to non abandonment, high openness to experience would lend itself to an open relationship. I can’t help but feel a man is humiliated by people thinking his partner is probably being sexually dominated by other / another man, / willingly surrendering sexually to another man for her own sexual pleasure, or that he may be perceived as not enough. Just thoughts that cross my mind. That said she may be a dominatrix !!
Two people clearly harboring massive resentment towards one another is beautiful? The woman seemed particularly callous with regard to his feelings, but both appear pretty checked out of the relationship. Husk of a marriage. I found it very depressing
Ghg B thé fact that you had to comment this exact wording pretty much, twice 😳 you have really strong feelings about this relationship that you saw 11 minutes of, eh! I hope they don’t see your callous words, but their relationship does seem strong and stable enough to handle it anyways.
@@torigarner4928 want to stimulate dialogue. Can’t understand the perspective that most in the comment section seem to hold. Thus the multiple postings
@@jackmehoff1840 you just do. Being poly isn't for everyone. Jealousy still exists. But like it isn't a contest. It's very difficult to expect one person to be able to fulfill all your needs. Source: I am poly myself with 2 partners both of whom are married to other people. One of which whose wife has 3 other partners.
@@bird7622 Thank you for giving me your time and expertise, can i ask what made you chose poly ocer a monogamous relationship and to what extend was this decision based on emotional needs (rather than sexual attraction?) and lastly (although you dont have to answer this if you feel this isnt appropriate) is the physical relationship with the wives as well as the husbands?
As I‘am reading through the comments I get kinda angry I have to admit. I know that it is the comment section under every video but I don’t get how people can judge so hardly within 12 Minutes about a 20 Year marriage. Just imagine being her and reading that she isn’t in love with him or he should run. How would they feel to you? If you feel like something seems off that’s totally fine, but maybe consider twice if you need to let it everyone know and if so how you phrase it. This is supposed to be a channel about Love and not hate or judgement! Thank you skin deep for letting showing us so many different kind of loves and human connection 💛🌞
I agree that people should be mindful of how they phrase their thoughts. But as with absolutely anything in the ‘subjective world’ (be that Social Media or Art/Literature/Theatre), the second you put a piece out there - it is open to judgment. People cannot expect to grow toward their truth by only saying ‘nice’ or ‘sweet’ things. The ‘truth’ is different for everyone, but it will always remain difficult for everyone too - particularly when facing the things that we feel shame/fear/uncertainty toward. It is how you receive that ‘truth’ and how you grow from it later on that matters.
We shudnt pair up people necessarily judging by their looks but unfortunately!??! We do. To me? He looks around an 8 or 9. Her? She looks a bit less. Let's say a 7. I could picture him with a Selma Hayek or a Halle Berry. He's got that Hollywood actor look. Him being with her shows loyalty and integrity. Good on him. Men like him easily could find a younger attractive woman. I know I'm gunna get a ton of bad comments but it's the world and society we live in. If he ends up staying with her hey kudos to him! Either way there's no right or wrong answer
I’d love to know more about these lovely people and their other secondary relationships. Are they both in love with other people? I assume they are, but chose to ‘nest’ together. Mating in captivity is a good book to learn erotic intelligence to keep romance and sex alive in a long term relationship.
I am afraid it might be a cultural barrier. I am watching this as an Italian in the UK and was thinking there's no way someone who isn't close to continental EU can understand this interaction.
I am not a professional but I strongly believe they need therapy. Sorry, I missed they entire conversation because the tension between them both was so strong. Wishing them all the best.
Huh? The only way poly relationships work at all is if they're based on trust and honesty...just monogamous relationships. Also, not polygamous... That's different from polyamory.
I didn’t find this moving at all. I can’t feel their connection at all. I was expecting to see comments like mine so I am quite shocked to see that people feel the complete opposite?! Beautiful couple? Yes, aesthetically but there was something a bit unnerving and off with this conversation. Sorry!
I haven’t watched it yet but I will assume is she basically cucks him and he puts up with it. He loves her and she seeks sexual satisfaction from other men and/or women. He is an emotional tampon to her.
I feel like this happens almost every time I watch these videos lol. Maybe I'm just too harsh She literally said she probably would have moved on if not for the pregnancy. . . 🤷🏻♀️ I did appreciate their honesty though.
Obviously she loves him but I wouldn’t feel particularly great if someone told me that had we not had an unexpected pregnancy they would totally not have stayed with me even after being together for over 20 years like damn,did you settle for a life with me? Well ouch.
Two people clearly harboring massive resentment towards one another is beautiful? The woman seemed particularly callous with regard to his feelings, but both appear pretty checked out of the relationship. Quite depressing
She projects onto him how she admires his courage in taking on this alternative lifestyle, when I suspect he really accepted something he did not want. She is saying ‘your not the one for me, your not enough’ she is naturally poly. Men are not naturally poly because evolution says men don’t want their partner to get pregnant by another man and they raise another mans child without knowing it. It’s called a cuck, from the cuckoo bird. Sorry if people don’t like it. I look at it from an evolutionary biologist view.
She thinks he is rehearsing leaving her with a 3 month trip...likelty to clear his head and that WILL help him disengage and see more clearly what HE wants. They both must defone wjatbwill work fpr them as individuals goimg forward. There seem to be no small children involved so NOW is the time to define wjpjat each wants. If they want some sort of relationship going forward that theybwill meed to decide after each KNOWS what sort of life they want in future. Yhis account taki gof life is commonnin middlle age and with empty nesters I desl with it all the time Sybil Francis clinical psychologist and professor
The polyamory was his idea. And the comments saying this man is hot (yikes not for me) and nothing about her tells you a lot about our society and patriarchal standards.
What the hell are you talking about? The reason is much more simple than that He's just more attractive than her. Thats it. It happen, not everything is equal in the real world. Its really not that big of a deal, we're merely talking about physical apperance and they are defenitly more than just two pretty faces. And i find it quite funny that you try to deny other people opinion as if your own were some kind of universal standard. It really show how much of an open minded person you are. You try to blame it on patriarchal standard while refusing to aknowledge that most of the comment are made by women objectifying a man. Shame on you for being so disingenuous, if you're trying to crtic something, do it right and fairly.
What an aesthetically pleasing couple. Their connection is potent. One can tell that they’ve been through a lot together. I wish them well.
😭 She chose violence the first question she got!
This video goes to show, you're never too old to continue learning about what makes you happy, and what your needs are in a relationship.
So true...I am in a relationship...HE wants to open our relationship after many wonderful years together. We are not married but committed and monogamous with incredible sex lives. He is waning ....slowly going blind...he has been blind in one eye since childhood. His hearing is going and he has developed non treatable ED in the past mos. The pills worked for him for several yrs but no longer. He still has orgams so our sex life is still great and he gives me long rolling orgasms that last and last. He is very uninhibited about sex and wants me to now find a friend with benefits. His preference would be to watch us or have a threesome MFM no M to M contact. He has done this before in his marriage which was open and swinging.I have never had an open relationship or been a swinger. He says me meeting a FWB elsewhere for sex is also acceptable, as long as I share what went on later.
I have been considering this for about a year now and am ready to begin to look.I am a total baby at picking up a man, approaching a man. I am younger than my mate and in good health amd shape so I think at least some men 50 and up would be attracted to me....curvy trim body, feminine face, blond hair, tourquoise eyes, decent body, 5ft 4in and anyone 5'6" man would be great with me. Intelligent and a good conversationalist...not selfish in bed. I love oral both ways and am told I am talented...I do enthusiastically love to give it so that is likely why.I wont now tolerate what so many guys were like in my youth "wham bam thank you mam" totally inept at pleasuring a woman...I want a gentleman who knows the first rule of swinging "she comes first" and has the patience for the 20 minute or so build up it takes women on average. The better HE is the better I will be...I am multi orgasmic so like.long sessions of at least an hour sometimes two...older men last longer just naturally but a man who is as into pleasing a woman as I am into pleasing a man will have a highly motivated sex partner . I HOPE there are some out there. I will be interviewing them as I hope they will be intetviewing me for what THEY want. I'd like to have a couple of men because I would want to see each a couple of times a month at least and the two not because I am greedy, but to keep too much emotional connection from forming.
My relationship with my mate will ALWAYS have primacy...40.yrs of love cannot be replaced! I think I may be polyamorous...or would like to be with less commitment and time to the other two of course.
Any other females have luck finding this? Or. Am I looking for the impossible? I live abroad in a Latin country...in a tourist town we do get some seasonal vititors who stay the summer or winter so likely it will be one of those who is single or in an open relationship...I am and want no emotional DRAMA. I am an academic psychologist and professor so have seen PLENTY of that and want NONE in my personal life.
i'll come back when the comments get juicy
Same.
@@ene1818 lmaooo
💀
Ok come back it’s juicy 😂😂
@@torigarner4928 I'm back 😂😂😂😂😂🤧
I love how vulnerable she looks when he’s telling her why he loves her. It appears like shes receiving with a very open heart that has been battered and bruised but still has courage to be open for love
She told him she’s only with him because she got pregnant. How worthless do u think that makes him feel. Such an unhappy sentiment to express, I feel bad for him. She seems very cold, not vulnerable IMO
I love how they both went on and on about why they love each other
Lip service
This is one of my favorite conversations so far.
my favorite episode so far. this was beautiful to witness. thank you
The way he complimented her at the end is everything
The relationship seems very open. I got a sense that they would have discussed most of the questions asked. But the man seem so empty and unhappy. The woman seem so self assured and free because she got everything from the man she wanted.
5:43 the interviewers also wondered as they give this question.
It feels like he is sad, but the sadness does not get a space, as well as his true desire.
I agree with you I have no idea why he stayed with her for many years
He seems empty because polyamory favours the female, not the male. It’s a simple fact that a women can find partners at the click of a button in 5 minutes. The married poly man will be treated with distrust by all but a very few women.
@@christianguthrie6614 That is SO off the mark, in my opinion. Maybe ignorant people will make assumptions about a polyamorous person based on their marital status and gender, but who cares about those people? They're not the ones I want in my circle.
Sure, some women have more access to potential partners, but how many crappy, creepy, time-wasting or incompatible options do you think she needs to sort through to find a promising choice? Quantity does not equal quality. I'm a man and I have had no trouble in my life finding dates/partners.
@Jason Cammeyer without being disrespectful, to either gender, maybe men are less mature / less willing to take on responsibility and women likewise, both more entitled and have have either over romantic immature expectations or too cynical perhaps. In most poly couples the women is in greater demand. A person who wants to steps out of fairytales, and into adulthood through rites of passage, to put away childish self seeking thing, to be in relationship to love more than be loved, will find happiness and also be a great life partner to someone being with them as both grow and change as we age. Best wishes
I must have watched a different video than some of the other people commenting. To me, they sound like two people who love each other and who have done so for more than two decades through work and respect. Real people and real life, not fairy tales, Hollywood movies, or the fiction sold in magazines.
Exactly my same thoughts. I wonder why the comments are so polarizing.
Seriously! They clearly care a lot for each other and share the kind of comfort that comes from being in such a long term relationship. I think it was a sweet video
Wow so many people in the comments seem to have a totally takeaway than me. I didn’t take her comment about getting pregnant meaning that’s the only reason she was with him, but the reason she chose him in the beginning. People say there is tension, but I feel they are connected.
Agreed!! I think they look nervous about how exposed the conversation is (who wouldn’t be, there’s an audience!!) and that people have trouble recognizing the kind of deep love that choosing one another for 24 years involves. The respect and admiration they spoke of one another with was so romantic to me, but I think people expect love to always look like the fiery early love that a lot of these videos show.
Their respect for each other as people - as well as their love - is obvious in their conversation. And it's nice to see a good example as a poly couple on the show!
This is so beautiful! I would love to have this freedom and authenticity
He’s so handsome
Exactly what I was thinking 😀
Same thing I thought!
...AND a doctor? AND married for 24 years? Geeze.....
@@vannshuttleworth4738 i didn't watch. I thought he is an actor. He is handsome
He looks like Hugh Grant.
Lovely couple. I’m glad they found the openness they craved. I’m learning how to give my 7 year relationship openness and space right now, and I definitely wish we would have ventured here sooner. I crave being alone as well, and it has nothing to do with anyone else.
They are so beautiful - I can feel their energy, depth and passion through this video alone. I truly see a soul tie between them.
They're real with each other. Something to be treasured.
Such exquisite medicine to the heart. I am open, in awe and and find this so deeply intimate
She obviously initiated the “open”relationship and he went along with it because he was afraid he’d lose her completely. Now , years later, he detests her and probably himself for accepting it
I think your bang on.
You can tell he loves her so much by the way he looks at her. I feel like something happened to her when she was younger that she never really dealt with and felt she couldn’t deal with because she got pregnant and married so fast. Now she’s finally letting herself explore what’s missing in her life and I applaud and give her husband so much respect for sticking around and being so open and for giving her the freedom to do so. I wish them both luck and happiness ❤️
They're both great looking, but damn, he is gorgeous. #DaddyAF !
Cringe
@@memethingz6004 it's ok, ppl cringe at you too.
Glad they are doing this... definitely the first one I’ve seen where the couple seems like things have been really tough and that they may not have overcome some of those tough things yet... like there are still some very touchy subjects between them (and that’s ok) ..
title seems a but misleading since they barely spoke about their polyamorous relationship
@@chantelforrester8325 I'm just confused as to where their third partner is
It's really hard that polyamory is so judged and misunderstood. I'm so glad I've found it and it's awesome to hear this amazing couple talk about it. I'm proud of them
What a beautiful way of expressing himself!! Gosh!!
When she said he’s still in her life because she got pregnant, it broke my heart to hear it wasn’t for love but I sense they’re not exactly on the same page. Relationships can really suck 😭
Most of my married friends are in the same spot. And none are really truly happy 😬
Yeah, me too. Can't admit it though
No one tells you people change, grow, mature and things can look and feel different in 15-20 years.
@@mediokritet God, this makes me so glad that I never listened to my overtly religous family who told me to get married young with kids... the older I get, the more I value my freedom so so much.
Insteresting. That's not how I took it at all. I felt it was so honest. They have great communication and trust. I took it as "at that stage I wasn't looking for anything steady - but life had other plans". That's how it *started* but the 24 years of marriage represent a conscience choice. These two are not the type to stay married out of convenience or social pressure
Their accents are so interesting. My guess is native German speakers who now live in New Zealand?
Ahaha, he just said it 😝
I thought South African
@@olddog123 me too!
That’s defo South African
I would have bet on South African 😂
I as well thought they’re native Germans, Anke and Frank are also very common names for people of their generation in Germany ☺️
This was a very interesting conversation, I am in my forties and can relate to some of the life phase issues they are going through. Thank you couple for your vulnerability and honesty!
This makes me excited for every stage of my life
First one of these skin deeps I’ve watched where I felt like cringing. I got the feeling he is very unhappy and she comes across as narcissistic, I know I know 🤷♀️🤷♀️I’ve only watched a few minutes of their life together but that is my first impression of them both , I don’t get a good vibe of her and I think he is drop dead gorgeous,. She had a bit of a panick when she thought he may not come back after his 3 month trip and that hurt her ego because she didn’t think for a minute he felt like that. He should run from this relationship and I think he will one day
Who knows if she's narcissistic but he does want out. She panicked about him wanting to leave and that's why she really praised him afterwards. He'll likely leave in time.
I don’t usually comment, but I came here looking to see if anyone else may have come across this impression. I strongly agree with all you’ve said. Nothing bad against either person in the video, just observing this conversation to learn a new perspective myself even.
What wife would not panick if their husband wouldn’t come back after 3 weeks ?? It’s natural they are married , that’s no sign to run away . Strong Marriages go through allot together is 2 imperfect together for allot of years .
Why does everyone judge so quickly? If you have never been in a similar or the same situation, then you cannot judge or relate.
Personally, I don't want a open relationship. But if they do, it's their problem. Everyone is responsible for their own life.
Wow!!! That last exhalation,,,, IS EVERYTHING
In what way?
I honestly think this is one of the most honest conversations shared on this page. I wonder why the comments are already so polarizing.
People get really defensive when they see a relationship that doesn't reflect one they want personally. I think almost every video has comments of people saying couples are bad together/awkward/dishonest when it's clearly not the case. People like playing armchair therapist I guess
This video made me cry because THATS WHAT I WANT! I'm in a marriage currently of 10 years and WE are both UNHAPPY! because of us not meeting certain expectations which is making us drift apart, keep secrets from eachother, judge eachother in nasty ways, cause consistant arguements amongst eachother, and causes us to not defend eachother when we need eachother.
I've come to the conclusion that after learning about polyamory that I want that to balance things out in my life while still being with her because I LOVE HER after everything we've gone through, but I'm not happy with her and I feel like polyamory if shes willing to go that route with me would definitely be a BIG help at balancing out our needs to show our true selves to eachother and to care for eachother and fight less with eachother because we accept eachother and want to see the other happy.
These two are brave... So great to see that honesty and groundedness.
Ich finde ganz großartig zu sehen, dass ihr euer Leben genau so gebaut habt, wie ihr es wolltet - und nicht in der stinkigen Vorstadt geblieben seid.
Von ihm bin ich mir nit 100%ig überzeugt dass es mit der offenen Beziehung nicht 100% ihre Idee war. Der scheint eher so der Typ fürs häusliche, u. nix mit poly dies u. das...Der liebt sie natürlich, gab aber irgendwann mal nach um ihr zu gefallen...geh ich wenigstens davon aus...
I feel like I'm watching/ listening to a conversation that I should not be listening to.... tention !
Seems like he's sacrificing his wants for her needs and I can't tell if that's a bad thing.
I'm sure she brings so much joy to this relationship. She reads as a Sagittarius and second place maybe an Aquarius. When couples are being honest and unearthing desires that can be unconventional yet feel liberating, it can be difficult to talk about especially with cameras. Shifting from monogamy to polyamory, a relationship structure that does not have the same level of social respect/regard as monogamy- that can be a scary (but worth it) convo. It requires vulnerability and interrogating normative assumptions. They're doing deep work and are likely just in the newish/awkwardish stage as is normal when going against the grain to do what's best for you & your partnership
Omg he is a doctor too, ugh at this point I am drooling over him 😂🤤
He’s gorgeous, a much nicer looking man than she is a woman ,
He is gorgeous, and a doc.. So he is perfect
That gave me goosepumps. So beautiful ♥️♥️♥️
Ahh so much love and respect. God bless you both for your connection and truth
Two people harboring massive resentment towards one another is beautiful? The woman seemed particularly callous with regard to his feelings, but both appear pretty checked out of the relationship. Hollow. I found it very depressing
This was interesting and beautiful. Even though I don't think that polyamory would work for me, I can see that it works for them. You can see how much love and mutual respect is between them, and it's just a lovely thing.
$100 says she is the one who initiated the open relationship. He went along with it as a strategy to keep his wife and his marriage. But it seems to be wearing on him.
Let’s check back with them in a year.
For a couple who have been together for 24 years and who are meant to be in such an ‘open and honest’ relationship, they are extraordinarily awkward with each other
It might also be that they're being filmed
Sometimes it's more difficult with those you're very close to
But I see what you write, Stephen.
Or maybe they aren’t actually that close. Her first statement isn’t he’s in her life because she loves him, it’s because she got pregnant otherwise she’d have moved on. There’s an odd distance between them
@@stephentaylor9900 yes... And he loves her because he feels she lets him, as she can be quite guarded. But I feel she has huge guards around her.
That was Beautiful..I'm crying
What was beautiful about this? Two people with event resentment towards each other but too old to do much about it. The woman seemed particularly callous with regard to his feelings, but both appear checked out of the relationship. I found it very depressing.
That's your opinion...I'm allowed to have mine.
wow that was beautiful !
Wow I respect that you both appear to have worked on your relationship to grow individually and together as a family. You both appear to be very mindful and thoughtful in how you communicate with each other. I'm making the assumption this is because of the love and respect you have for each other. Thank you for showing us how to be open, honest, and loving in a relationship.
Two people clearly harboring massive resentment towards one another is beautiful? The woman seemed particularly callous with regard to his feelings, but both appear pretty checked out of the relationship. Very hollow. I found it quite depressing
@@Torakan1 Thanks for your reply. I feel what your saying. And I didn't miss what you saw. I sat back thought about it for moment. And this what I came up with. You never know how much you love someone until you stop loving them. Real love comes when the honeymoon is over. Jesus died on the cross for our sins and imperfections and not because we deserved it. Love is beautiful but sometimes it's not pretty. I just read in between the lines differently.
@@tawandahaulcy8700 Yea but bringing 3rd parties into their relationship is just another step down the road to divorce. Jesus required believers repent of their sins and turn away from past lifestyles, not continue in the same worldly ways. These two aren’t changing anything, they’re doubling down on the actions that led to their distance. Just because they’re “honest” about that doesn’t make it a good or admirable thing. Feel bad for their kids
@@Torakan1 Your making alot of valid points. What I admire is the truth about love it can involved twist and turns and ups and downs. Not to indicate that this is good for them or anyone else. But this so happens to be their truth in that or this moment in time. We can go all day about what's right and wrong. However, Jesus also said yea without sin cast the first stone. Nobody I hope would want kids to be hurt. The reality is that we all hurt people in our lives because we're imperfect. But hopefully when we know better we will do better.
Interestingggggg ✍🏽.
Brilliant and controversial as long term relationships often are.
Carry on
I’ve watched this three times now, It’s probably one of my favorites
It's says a lot that she feels intimate to him the most when she's at her lowest.
He is fine!
I would love for me and my boyfriend to be up there I watch these videos all the time it gives me so much peach and humbleness to no that love comes in different varieties but all the same and I would love to give it a try
I was married for 25 years, to someone not open to polyamory. if they had been, I imagine we would look a lot more like you as a couple. love this vid. I wish I had met a couple like you earlier in my life.
I feel like such an attractive couple would choose a young thing vs. someone that is your ages. I feel like that is sad,as someone line me could surely add so much to this type of relationship. As an attractive 52 yr old woman, I don't see the husband accepting that in the relationship.
Connection and intimacy are not a one stop shop. It has never been in the history of mankind. They’ve been married for an extended period of time and things change. Instead of ending the marriage, they modified it to fit more of each other’s needs. After 20+ years, being open broadens the relationship you have with an individual. You really have to dig deep into who you are and what you want. It’s possible and works for many different people. Divorce is not always what people want so imagine if everyone modified the relationship to fit who they are vs what people don’t understand
Wow, I want this.
I respect there wishes but seems tough to have a relationship like that but hats off to them. I think to be friends and love each other from a far would be a lot healthier but it’s there life. To be single and not have any kind of pressure is a lot safer.
People judge them because they are jealous of how free, simple and authentic they are. Wow! ❤️
Beautiful
What is the attachment styles of people in polyamorous relationships? And how would they look on the big five traits test? Not that it’s one fixed thing but certain characteristics would match. Anxious attachment would be open to non abandonment, high openness to experience would lend itself to an open relationship.
I can’t help but feel a man is humiliated by people thinking his partner is probably being sexually dominated by other / another man, / willingly surrendering sexually to another man for her own sexual pleasure, or that he may be perceived as not enough. Just thoughts that cross my mind. That said she may be a dominatrix !!
Honestly they seem like good friends and that's not a bad thing at all :)
Felt similar.
Two people clearly harboring massive resentment towards one another is beautiful? The woman seemed particularly callous with regard to his feelings, but both appear pretty checked out of the relationship. Husk of a marriage. I found it very depressing
Ghg B thé fact that you had to comment this exact wording pretty much, twice 😳 you have really strong feelings about this relationship that you saw 11 minutes of, eh! I hope they don’t see your callous words, but their relationship does seem strong and stable enough to handle it anyways.
@@torigarner4928 want to stimulate dialogue. Can’t understand the perspective that most in the comment section seem to hold. Thus the multiple postings
@@Torakan1 I couldn’t agree more!
wouldnt an open relationship be counter intuitive to a bond between 2 people?
No. That's not how being poly works. You can be bonded with more than one person
@@bird7622 How would one manage jealousy?, if the spouse is sexually active with the other person?
@@jackmehoff1840 you just do. Being poly isn't for everyone. Jealousy still exists. But like it isn't a contest. It's very difficult to expect one person to be able to fulfill all your needs. Source: I am poly myself with 2 partners both of whom are married to other people. One of which whose wife has 3 other partners.
@@bird7622 Thank you for giving me your time and expertise, can i ask what made you chose poly ocer a monogamous relationship and to what extend was this decision based on emotional needs (rather than sexual attraction?) and lastly (although you dont have to answer this if you feel this isnt appropriate) is the physical relationship with the wives as well as the husbands?
@@jackmehoff1840 the physical relationship is only with the shoe maker.
When are you going to ship internationally?! Grrrr
I want to love this guy 😂😂😂😂 his deserving
that got pretty real
He's realllllly good looking.
I don’t get the comments, I actually thought this was boring I
I find this video very sad, but respect their right to choose.
As I‘am reading through the comments I get kinda angry I have to admit. I know that it is the comment section under every video but I don’t get how people can judge so hardly within 12 Minutes about a 20 Year marriage.
Just imagine being her and reading that she isn’t in love with him or he should run. How would they feel to you?
If you feel like something seems off that’s totally fine, but maybe consider twice if you need to let it everyone know and if so how you phrase it.
This is supposed to be a channel about Love and not hate or judgement!
Thank you skin deep for letting showing us so many different kind of loves and human connection 💛🌞
Thank you for saying this!
I agree that people should be mindful of how they phrase their thoughts. But as with absolutely anything in the ‘subjective world’ (be that Social Media or Art/Literature/Theatre), the second you put a piece out there - it is open to judgment.
People cannot expect to grow toward their truth by only saying ‘nice’ or ‘sweet’ things. The ‘truth’ is different for everyone, but it will always remain difficult for everyone too - particularly when facing the things that we feel shame/fear/uncertainty toward. It is how you receive that ‘truth’ and how you grow from it later on that matters.
There’s so much tension in the room...and not the good kind.
True!
We shudnt pair up people necessarily judging by their looks but unfortunately!??! We do. To me? He looks around an 8 or 9. Her? She looks a bit less. Let's say a 7. I could picture him with a Selma Hayek or a Halle Berry. He's got that Hollywood actor look. Him being with her shows loyalty and integrity. Good on him. Men like him easily could find a younger attractive woman. I know I'm gunna get a ton of bad comments but it's the world and society we live in. If he ends up staying with her hey kudos to him! Either way there's no right or wrong answer
I’d love to know more about these lovely people and their other secondary relationships. Are they both in love with other people? I assume they are, but chose to ‘nest’ together. Mating in captivity is a good book to learn erotic intelligence to keep romance and sex alive in a long term relationship.
Interesting......
I feel like I am struggling here and I am not even in their space physically. It's just not connecting for me...sorry
🇬🇧🇯🇲
I am afraid it might be a cultural barrier. I am watching this as an Italian in the UK and was thinking there's no way someone who isn't close to continental EU can understand this interaction.
Lovely couple. They suits as a couple and love their honesty. (He looks ok...why people thirsty over him? Looks like a normal older guy.
Was anyone else tripping as to why they sounded both German and Australian/New Zealander? And then find out thats the two countries they lived in.
South Africans
Not getting married in your 20s and 30s is like missing out on buying the last ticket for the Titanic
Is this your only copy past comment?
I swear the title said discovering Pokémon
He is a hot doctor!
I think he’s describing what he WANTS, but looking on the outside, this relationship doesn’t give him those traits.
Damn he’s handsome
I am not a professional but I strongly believe they need therapy. Sorry, I missed they entire conversation because the tension between them both was so strong. Wishing them all the best.
really? why? genuinely curious
could you please elaborate ? am interested (:
A Relationship I Never want to have. Thank you for pointing that out. And I am Not Talking about the Open relationship.
Open your heart and let us in :)
@@legalitetongue3276 come in anytime :)
I want to now if they are together? I find them beautiful together..
Interesting to see the words trusting and honest being used considering they're polygamous
Huh? The only way poly relationships work at all is if they're based on trust and honesty...just monogamous relationships.
Also, not polygamous... That's different from polyamory.
Dutch or German accent, guys?
EDIT: comes later in the video.
🤦🏾♀️Everything ain’t for everybody and these comments show it.
Because we " monkey" sympathy, and community
I wonder how he learned to accept what she wanted.?. . . . love I guess.
I didn’t find this moving at all. I can’t feel their connection at all. I was expecting to see comments like mine so I am quite shocked to see that people feel the complete opposite?! Beautiful couple? Yes, aesthetically but there was something a bit unnerving and off with this conversation. Sorry!
💯
I haven’t watched it yet but I will assume is she basically cucks him and he puts up with it. He loves her and she seeks sexual satisfaction from other men and/or women. He is an emotional tampon to her.
I feel like this happens almost every time I watch these videos lol. Maybe I'm just too harsh She literally said she probably would have moved on if not for the pregnancy. . . 🤷🏻♀️ I did appreciate their honesty though.
Why everyone is saying they are german?
Because they are German
9:40 I think
they are so german.
Why you say that what are those German qualities that you see?? ☺️ i think their eyes and hair color
Obviously she loves him but I wouldn’t feel particularly great if someone told me that had we not had an unexpected pregnancy they would totally not have stayed with me even after being together for over 20 years like damn,did you settle for a life with me? Well ouch.
I hope the honest observations in this comment section won't break the relationship (unless it is meant to be).
There's a lot we don't see.
He is kinda hot oh my!
He is such a great man, all around. He should run 🏃🏻♂️
Marlboro man is hotAF
Two people clearly harboring massive resentment towards one another is beautiful? The woman seemed particularly callous with regard to his feelings, but both appear pretty checked out of the relationship. Quite depressing
Exactly!
She projects onto him how she admires his courage in taking on this alternative lifestyle, when I suspect he really accepted something he did not want. She is saying ‘your not the one for me, your not enough’ she is naturally poly. Men are not naturally poly because evolution says men don’t want their partner to get pregnant by another man and they raise another mans child without knowing it. It’s called a cuck, from the cuckoo bird. Sorry if people don’t like it. I look at it from an evolutionary biologist view.
She thinks he is rehearsing leaving her with a 3 month trip...likelty to clear his head and that WILL help him disengage and see more clearly what HE wants. They both must defone wjatbwill work fpr them as individuals goimg forward. There seem to be no small children involved so NOW is the time to define wjpjat each wants. If they want some sort of relationship going forward that theybwill meed to decide after each KNOWS what sort of life they want in future. Yhis account taki gof life is commonnin middlle age and with empty nesters I desl with it all the time Sybil Francis clinical psychologist and professor
The polyamory was his idea. And the comments saying this man is hot (yikes not for me) and nothing about her tells you a lot about our society and patriarchal standards.
What the hell are you talking about?
The reason is much more simple than that
He's just more attractive than her. Thats it.
It happen, not everything is equal in the real world.
Its really not that big of a deal, we're merely talking about physical apperance and they are defenitly more than just two pretty faces.
And i find it quite funny that you try to deny other people opinion as if your own were some kind of universal standard. It really show how much of an open minded person you are. You try to blame it on patriarchal standard while refusing to aknowledge that most of the comment are made by women objectifying a man. Shame on you for being so disingenuous, if you're trying to crtic something, do it right and fairly.
Not complimenting a woman is patriarchal now 😭
That’s in accurate. There are a lot of comments about her.
We live in a society.lol
What do you mean ? Maybe just more people who commented are attracted to men so they didn't comment on her. 🤷🏻♀️ nothing patriarchal about that.