'My Husband Was A Good Man But Refused To Raise Our Children Or Pay Their School Fees' Onyeka Onwenu
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
- The name Onyeka Onwenu needs no introduction to most Nigerians. Those who believe music is the soul's food that soothes, educates, builds relationships, and fosters peace and unity among people. This definition, without a doubt, was explored by this beautiful star whose name has already been inscribed in Nigeria’s history.
As one of Nigeria’s finest, talented, and versatile artists, Onyeka Onwenu has explored all the areas in arts. She is a writer, a journalist, an actress, a singer, and a songwriter. However, she has gained resounding prominence more as a singer and songwriter over decades, releasing some of the best old school music that continues to remain relevant even in years to come. Onyeka is inarguably the only artist in Nigeria who can boast of using her singing and songwriting ability for activism, politics, educating people, fostering relationships, connecting to her creator (through gospel songs), and promoting One Nigeria. Songs such as You and I, Iyogogo, Wait for me, and One Love sure ring a bell. Today, she is known as a music legend and has been dubbed the “Elegant Stallion” by the Nigerian media.
However, while some legends are born, Onyeka begs to differ, arguing that she is, in fact, a made legend. The 70-year-old veteran who is ageing like fine wine affirmed this in a recent interview with Kikelomi Atanda-Ojo, where she made some shocking revelations about how she would never have been a legend if she didn’t make some callous decisions in the past, especially about her love life, family and marriage.
Interestingly, many are asking some questions after her shocking revelation about her abusive marriage: Why is she exposing her ex-husband now at the age of 70?
#OnyekaOnwenu #OnyekaOnwenuLife #OnykeaOnwenustory
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Background music - Nolly Griffin - / nollygriffi. .
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This lady is one of Africa & world's great and intelligent minds.Her story simply teaches us that if u submit to cruelty, and anything unGodly u re submitting to the devil himself,who is out there to steal ,kill and destroy.
absolutely right sir.
@TheJibike300
vor 0 Sekunden
I guess he used tactics to punish her. So as to prevent her from pursuing her career! Stilll that those not make him good! What she indirectly meant was he could pay the fees but under certain condition which she was not ready to sacrifice which is her career.
Very true.
Don't be unequally yoked no matter the level of frustration and desperation.
@@TheJibike300You're not far from the truth, I'm sure she was loosing herself
This means that you have to walkout when it's no longer working
who else is here watching after her death?
I'm more than heartbroken, after she's gone I'm now getting to know of her😢
If a husband and a father refuses to raise his children and provide school fees then he is not a good man.
It can be because of the woman. IF they are not on good terms and he is not allowed to make decisions in their lives, of course he will revolt.
@@worldtraveler8571how does that stop him from paying school fees and feeding them. Abeg, stop excusing nonsense.
That he was even a Muslim shows he was a total failure . Honestly speaking you are a Christian by faith,by scripture. I are a Muslim not be self designed ways but by faith and scripture . Thees no book that forgive a father that was never there morally, financially ,emotionally for his wife and children . Even when a man accuse wife of infidelity and bastard. Children the best one can do is to divorce her and offset the union than to treating them as slaves
I agree 😮
Exactly....I don't understand their definition of a good man.
He is insecure, intimidated by his wife's potentials. His ego must be pampered as a natural selfish traditional Nigerian man. The only way he learnt to be acknowledged as a man is to push his wife to the limits so she can break and beg as it were for his pittance so he can FEEL big and like the messiah, at least to his wife- serious psychological issues though, hence his wife had to accept that he is generous some at this periods he doles out his ego pittance, she believed what she would like to believe of him out of her own generous heart.
Emotions are complicated!
What is important is that she could focus, raise her children and her story will help a lot of young women who are at the valley of decision now.
I have great respect for your experiences ma, you are exemplary. Thank you
I totally agree with this summation.I am just so glad she rose above it all.love love love this lady
Summary makes sense
Whenever you share your story, it is perfectly ok. It's your story to share, when , where and how. Thank you for remaining classy and exemplary through the years. Met her on the plane once, she was so dignified and gracious. Beautiful woman
Aunty onyeka, how can you call a man who refused to raise your children or pay your children's school fees a nice and generous man?
See how you see someone is not from their standpoint but from yours Onyeka is nice and generous which means that's the energy she operates from
From now on you must know that if somebody is mean to you it's about them not you and that is such a healing thought
Someone might not be good to you but good to others…
Because she can. It's easy to call him all sorts of names but it's better for her to speak good of him and evil of his works and let the rest of mankind judge.
Very strange
She married a narcissist, it's not easy for women in Nigeria. If you speak out you are a bad wife. Women and men need more awareness about toxic relationships
Blame in a relationship always on a woman. Some Nigerian/African men still treat their wives like inferior, they are so jealous, always want to get their own way or no way, if you don't agree with them. Most of the time, what they want their wives to agree upon does not fervour their wives at all, so manipulative only for their own selfish gain.
Some of them pretends to be good outside the house but their wives are being tormented by them inside their matrimonial home.
Please women watch out, your life is more important than anything else, ie marriage. Marriage is very sweet but not when you are being treated like a slave.
Gbam!!!! He's an unrepentant narcissistic period!!!
Were this women forced to marry those men? Are they held at gun point to still be married to those men. It’s 2023 why are these useless f*minist w*men dying so much to get married to the men they claim to hate so much?
Don’t worry, I understand. W*men and accountability don’t go well.,
Wow ! She was so beautiful in her early years and still remains so… ONYEKA ONWENU the pride of not only Nigeria but also of AFRICA..💕💕💕
This woman was indeed beautiful and multi talented. May her soul rest in perfect peace
Onyeka is one of those women suffering in marriage yet praising their husband in-order not to get insults from the public.Dear Woman,if you are experiencing Domestic Violence, please speak up for it heals and saves life rather than you dieing silently..
You didn't know her well then.
If every woman decides to share her experiences in marriage, you will be shocked, dats why many women keep queit and suffer in silence. There are some things you dont reveal because of your children.
But it gets to a time that it becomes obvious to the children
So true.
You have to wear a tight fitted/under sized shoe before you will understand how much pain it produces. It is her story, she knows and understands it better than anyone else.
wow this is god gift. This woman was so so talented.I enjoyed her english language power.I hope the good lord wii deliver another super human being like her again.Thanks so much for the interview with her.May the good lord continually bless you.
Africans are always afraid to speak out wen abused in marriage, bc of shame n what people will say, .some eventually die, sometimes d will even deprive them of d kids, wanna hurt, even hurt them. , we need to speak out , so d law can be applied to stop dis foolish act. Am glad she left n gave us beautiful songs.love u for ever , Ada igbo
My dear that type of culture is really destroying them.
She is healed from the abuse that's why she called her ex "good"...any man who refused to take care of his wife and children is by no means a good man...
Very true ma We Give God All The Glory ,I Don't Think any woman should die in the hands of an evil man ,we salute You Ma I have also been a single mother who By The Grace Snd Help of God Raised My Four Children 2girls 2 boys All To The Glory Of God , Ma May God Keep Healthy And Strong That You Reap All Your Labours You Invested In Your Children Shalom
I've always liked this young man's style of reporting anything Nigeria. You re so original and you don't borrow accent for any of your videos . Keep up the good work
African beautiful mama you have exited this challenging world, you left legacy and your memory lives on. May God receive your gentle soul Amen.
True, any irresponsible parent will give account to God.
How can a man be good and refused to sponsor his own children. Stop all this jargon
My thought exactly
My thoughts exactly ! As a father, I couldn't IMAGINE not raising my own kids .
Hi I don’t know the climate you are operating from. You know what many women are going through. If it has not happened to you or anyone around please be quiet. A lot of women are indeed looking after their children without any support from their spouses despite the man being rich and helping and paying others and his relations school and university fees without buying his own children a school uniform nor shoes. It’s sad to see your comments
How a wife call a husband a good man who dont take care of her and kids.
Am coming from the climate that ,the man is wicked man.
Any man who refuses to take care of children you brought to this world is from the devil.
When you hear of insecurity in nations, you think what is all about.
Can a responsible man train his children to be kidnappers, or you think those guys doing that are from sticks.
How many women in Africa can pay school fees of their children alone after given birth to 12 children.
Look around all the wayward children are from irresponsible fathers.
That woman should stop saying her husband who dont pay children fees is a good man.
I disagree till 2morro
I guess he used tactics to punish her. So as to prevent her from pursuing her career! Stilll that those not make him good! What she indirectly meant was he could pay the fees but under certain condition which she was not ready to sacrifice which is her career.
Elegant Stallion beautiful African mama, you made great impact to our generation. May the light of God continue to shine upon your children. Rest in peace
Her husband was not a good man period!
He wasn't a good man! Period!
Exactly… good man??? How??? And he refuses to pay his children’s Sch fee. She is just trying to give him small respect
Of course she is beautiful. Have I not been loving her forever? Damn is she beautiful. Tuagaga
Rest in peace Mama Onyeka Onwenu 😥🕊️🕊️🕊️💐🌹💖💞
What's good about a man who doesn't raise his children ? Did I read the title right ?
Story of my Life 😥
Rest on beautiful woman ❤❤❤
No woman will refuse a full dose of love and love is beautiful when you are with the right person in Godly foundation
Beautiful in and out.
I greatly respect and have great regard for her.her marriage life was a mess which l know cud be her cause.l equally blamed her from marrying outside her region and religion being the kind of star she is.
She said he was a good man cause she most probably understood that we all have good and bad sides … nevertheless what she said is what she said. We are all on this journey of understanding ourselves and it’s Al bout balancing our two natures .. light and dark…. Good and bad… not hating an aspect of self
If you believe in “my love is enough for both of us“ it will never be easy to see the devil in your life coz devel will suck all your blood in your body . I’m sorry dear it’s not too late to run away from unhappy to happiness
Onyeka Onwenu is my music and intellectual heroin.
We all have rights to our feelings. She expressed hers, she is only human. Pure and simple.
Lovely woman. RIP"😊
She held the mic till her last moment
What i do not get is men whom women describe a "generous "yet tight fisted towards their wives and children. I just cannot wrap my finger about what goes on on their minds...
it sounds like she is referring to the the phenomenon known as 'love bombing' but labelling it as 'nice generosity' since 'love bombing' is not a common nigerian term...she said he would do things that were like 'wow' which he used to try to exert his control over her; that's what love bombing usually is
My baby daddy was generous to everyone else but my daughter and I.
It's a form of control. They do it to subdue and crush the weak
If he was generous to others but his family, how would people believe her story? This is what women in abusive marriages suffer. These men know what they are doing. They make it difficult for the woman to get help, make her look insane and unbelievable.
She has passed her message. It's an irony that the generous and nice man everyone saw (and knew) didn't provide for his family.
Remember that she is a writer and can play with words.
DEAR SISTER ONYEKA. IN ONE INTERVIEW YOU DID SAY THAT YOU ARE FROM IMO STATE AND PARTLY ANAMBRA BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER IS FROM OBOSI, BUT YOU DID NOT MENTION THAT YOU ARE FROM AROCHUKWU IN ABIA STATE WHICH IS THE ANCESTRAL HOME OF THE ARONIZUOGU'S. I WOULD BE GLAD VERY GLAD IF YOU RECOGNISE THIS ESSENTIAL YOU IN SUBSEQUENT INTERVIEW
You are just amazing
Tcode.. your introduction is the best.
Keep it up
He probably thought She could afford to pay their kids school fees. He could have been owing banks too. Many ' big men' are heavily indebted to banks .
Has nothing to do with owing banks. He's abusive. It happened to Queen Esther in the bible. One minute she was crowned queen, the next, she was so afraid to even speak to him that it was outsiders who came to tell her he was planning on killing her family.
Na wa for you oo...see as you dey make excuse for terrible behaviour.
How can a good man refuse to pay children's school fees. Forget that thing. That she said it doesn't mean it's true. Who is dat husband we never heard of even for 1 day.
Beautiful woman 😍
Beautiful mama
I want to know if her husband is still alive or late?
Which good man wouldn’t do the basics for his children???🙄🙄🙄(rolling my eyes🙄)
How was her husband a good man if he refused to take his share of responsibilities towards raising their children?
My sentiments exactly.
Really an elegant stallion
Well, I was not their marriage to judge anyone and if the woman in question says he is Goodman, then he is.
And moreso, we only heard one side of the story.
She is a great idea woman
There’s more in the story I think the husband doesn’t contribute anything in the house everything is free he’s selfish. Run away as far as possible my dear he’s not a husband but a thief
Let us be very objective. She married a Muslim, did they agree that she was going to continue with her music career?
There were rumours of her infidelity, and we know that men have zero tolerance for infidelity and its likes.
Could it be the reasons for the man misbehaviour?
Anyway, thank God for her life.
May her soul rest in peace.
She was a great woman.
I admire her ability to keep all that she was going through from social media.
You can never see the man on social media.
RIP our legend!
I thinkconspiracy one of the movies that she acted was inspired by what she was going through in her marriage
I strongly believe her
Well done
It’s funny how nobody criticized her husband’s behavior based on his tribe….
The behavior which is known to be common by that tribe.
Igbo women will leave their own men who would usually treat them better, instead go to Femi who would only treat them like trash.
God go help us!
Let everybody marry from their own tribe, at least that way you understand each other better to some extent
I have seen that comment I am looking for...100percent...men from those parts, if they are not saved (I.e genuinely born again), that is a typical behaviour, heard of many, met one too years ago..I ran please. They are not good. The women condone them, some end up raising their kids alone Nd off they jump to marry another vicrim. An Igbo man(most anyway), will train their children even if they get you divorced....Which good man?
Even by traditional standards, now add biblical stance in 1 Tim 5:8, he was wicked beyond defence. May the Lord help young African women, who look up to Elders like this for counsel. What makes an irresponsible man, a good man? Mummy, please think of what women, especially black women are going through, and carefully weigh your words. The Lord bless you.
🤣🤣
But she was never married to the man. She only had kids for him .
That should not warrant the horrible treatment. Marriage shouldn't be the criteria to not be mean to someone you are sleeping with and to take care of your kids.
She was married
A man who ignores his children and refuse his responsibility is not a good man in anyway. I hope the children also forget him and let his old age been full of loneliness. many Africa men are grossly irresponsible
Some people have a double personality. One of which dominates the darker side. As you begin married life with them, your success or failure can bring up their weakest traits. We saw Charles and Diana. When photographers pushed him aside to get the best photo of his wife. He punished her emotionally
She’s not just talking about lack of school fees. She suffered other things which she’s not mentioned for the sake of her son’s feelings
How derogatory of the narrator to ask or put to the general public a doubt about 'whether we believe what the lady (legend) like any other recounting their real familial/conjugal/marital issues or have/has related about the propriety of experiences. Is that an impugn on the integrity or intelligence or what exactly... Mr talk-a-lot-of-gluk? 🙄😒
Well, maybe she meant he was good at producing babies. Aside that, I cannot see any other thing he did to earn the word "good".
Ogelende not Ogundele!
The thing is that person can be a good person but refuse to do one thing and which is very important. Yet in every area of their life they are doing everything right and you wonder what is wrong with them. Sometimes it just needs you to take sometime on your knees and they will come around. To those who are Christians that is what it means to be submissive in everything
Did I hear Madam Onyeka say her husband is a good man after describing him as an abusive man?
Thank God for wisdom that helped her break free from that abusive relationship. It's good she has spoken up to help younger women that are scared to death to share their gory marital experiences.
Onyeka Owenu is a difficult Woman to be with, she was never married to any none Husband even though she have two grown Children, she never wanted to be under a Man that's was the reason she advise her Friend late Nelly Uchendu that they don't suppose to be under any Man due to their personality as at that time. She has refused to tell the true story of Ekwe Mgbadike the Man that sponsored her and wanted to marry her but she ended up asking Ekwe if she was owing her in her hit song. (Ekwe Ejim Gi Ugwo)
Busybody, so you know Onyeka more than she knows herself and the man she had children with? Your narrative is nonsense! You are part of the societal problem affecting women.
@@Joy_And_Gladness Truth is always bitter though but we must say it no matter whose is involved.
My mother once told me this story
Metaphorically ‘good man’ . If I have heard from the man, I would’ve concluded if in reality he is bad or foolish
😂😂😂😂🙆♂️good in bed
.nonsense
Listen to the man then yu would know when he abandoned her. you can't have an obonoxious woman who would not respect you then expect you to take care of her
She didn't ask of her ip keep , but for d kids, every woman work hard, don't marry because he has money, because he might be a devil. What is money, llove your wife n treat her right, n see respect, don't be Russian president, power drunk. , women are not perfect , but not to stop anyone from feeding their children. Food we give to homeless, ,school fees. . What are we talking here, ur children deserve unconditional love, .he is unfit for a man. .I bet after all these , he expect her to comply at night as a wife. , he'll no!!!!@@
So the children should suffer, because the wife is supposedly obnoxious????
@@clairebarbee5290 how are they suffering? they are her kids too so she should be able to pay schools fees. Don't compare yourself to a man without not able to do what they can do. she should pay the school fees and put her money where her mouth is
@@austinjohn8713 it's interesting that someone could support that a man should abandon his kids cos of his wife
@@bimtriceimade5322 Did the man tell you he abandoned his kids. Not paying school fees does not mean he abandoned them. this obnoxious woman surely claimed she was a man who can pay everything so the man said ok.
it is interesting how women flex muscles then complain when a load is placed on them so that they can use the muscles they are flexing
How can your husband be a good man, when he refused to train his own children? How can you call a man who refused to train his own children a good man? Just stop it?
She is trying to tell the truth without using her mouth to call him bad. She knows we are intelligent enough to get the gist! If someone says he is a good man, but abandoned his kids- she knows we will understand what she is trying to say. In other words he was an abusive husband & a dead beat dad!
@@flourish5blessing424
My dear I understand what you are saying, but we all know that we have to start condemning what is bad and evil with a very simple English. It’s damaging for future women coming after us to witness this evil still going on , because we did not address it.
Nigeria is very good in covering the evil men do, but if it was a woman? The whole world will get to hear about it. Nigeria will be a better place if we see evil and shout out
Exactly... I ask that question too in my own case! My first son stayed home for 3 academic years because his father refused to pay school fees, now my younger 2 couldn't go to school this academic year, because their father feels he has the economic power to subdue all... such a man can never be described as good 😐
Even me I wonder what makes him good 🤣🤣🤣
I thought am the only one seeing it oo. Thank you. We like wrapping lie up.
This lady is beautiful!
Truly beautiful!
No I think with age comes conifidence and you didn't care what other people think
An "abusive, and mean, irresponsible, wicked man" can't be described as
"a good man." This is a deliberate contradiction.
Yes and I understand why she did
You need to experience such malnipulative individauls before you will understand what she said is right...
She is a writer indeed.....the contradictions alone shows it. She has given us a literature device to explore and learn
We often assume that people are either wholly "good" or completely "evil". But people are more nuanced than that. For instance, it is possible for a man to be a great father but a horrible husband, or to even have a wonderful public personae and a bad family life. People are that complicated.
This scenario is tricky to explain because there are children and relatives involved and its just fair to say "he was a good man".
When a woman makes it better in life than the husband,something starts cooking in the marriage.
What a wonderful Amazon. Your breeds are rare to comeby. Good woman indeed
You're so right, her breeds are rare.
While violence and divorce is not good for anyone even the elegant stallion(much respect ma'am). I still think without a word from the 'husband' her story is at best a mere accusation. Not being married is not a disease, not being happy and fulfilled even while married is both a disease and a sin. Fulfill your destiny..... then life has a meaning.
Don't forget also men suffer abusive relationships too equally underreported as well: what man can publicly come out and say I have suffered violent and abusive experiences with my wife without being called a sissy?!
I respect and love you maam. I grew up listening to your music and still continue to do so. However, leave the 'husband' story alone. Enjoy your children and what is remaining of your existence. Cheers
You’re a wise man.
Senior aunty Onyeka. Why did you waste this glamour of beauty by not marrying again. You look so beautiful at 70. Give it a trial. You deserve to be loved
A broken 💔heart can be hard to heal, 😢 been there 💔RIPP Queen Of African 🎶Music
So he was a good man but a terrible father
Onyeka Onwenu was a difficult woman as a young lady, i will rather hear from the ex-husband before passing judgement
And how do you know this????
Sorry to hear all these. But this is what 95 percent of Nigerian women go through without telling anyone. Or perhaps tell it to deaf ears. You can hear her because she is a legend. She chose to speak up now. My own children are five. You can not have patience to hear my own story because I am not in the limelight. The problem is all over Nigeria. Women don’t run out of marriages because of that; they endure it to the end until the children can take care of themselves. It is a general sickness particularly when the woman is making money. All the women do not have access to the media to make noise about their abusive husbands.
There was wound in her heart, that refused to heal, look, anything she thinks of her failed marriage after all her efforts to make it work, she feels pained, not facially, but in her heart. May her soul rest in perfect peace. Women hate divorce. Till the men pushed them to the wall.
Very talented, thank God for your strength and endurance
So what then makes him good after denying this very important basic responsibilities?
Hummmm Rip ma onyeka rest in pesce hummmm
I love Onyeka Onwenu and her songs
Our Queen of Africa..
That is what my x husband did to me
Sad, pretending to be polite and disciplined by presenting a false image of her exhusband.
What do u mean
She is beautiful in and out.
May God bless and protect you always, stay blessed.
☝🏼🙏🏻🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🇮🇱♥️🇫🇯
Great
So many women are going through the same situation: Control Husbands. They refuse to assist their wives with impunity, but will money on women all over the world, including going after divorcees and married women. Most of them are Engineers, etc. A Shame! Congratulations to Onyeka! A force to emulate.