It’s not blaming external factors to acknowledge them. AWESOME! I’ve been in a pool of self-loathing for sooooo long regarding this and what is / isn’t my responsibility. Taking accountability whilst also having self-compassion and grieving what’s happened to you is so hard. And it’s never pretty to heal. It’s uncomfortable as hell and causes hurt inside and potentially outside of you because you’ve been injured and you need time to heal and sometimes you may never be the same as you once were and that’s okay too! Thanks guys ❤
I would love to hear more from Jonathan about his experience of adhd... specifically around resoponsibility/acceptance/growth and adhd, that would be really helpful "if you're saying its all on me and its all my responsibility is a slippery slope to its all my fault" - this is a trap I've been falling into a lot especially around my adhd symptoms, thank you for articulating the difference
I often look at personal responsibility in this way. If it happened one time, its possible it was the other person or the both of us. If repeatedly I run into same situations in life, its time to look in the mirror and see what is within me causing that.
absolutely. we have responsiblity over what we little we have control of. and nothing is our responsibility outside of our control. life is learning what we can and cannot do and what we will or won't do. knowing who we are truly and eternally makes all the difference for our good. radical acceptance. don't fight reality. accept what is and what was. focus on what you can and will do. The Serenity Prayer.
I apply responsibility as much as I can to the correct person or event. I am grateful for this video and am thinking about sending it to a man who tried very hard to make me believe that everything that happened in my life is entirely my fault.... because unfortunately, he read the wrong books. Dr. Bruce Lipton is a master of radical responsibility and that man is a neuropsychologist gone astray because of him. He even blamed me for all the abuse he made me suffer by saying that I am so mentally ill, I attract bad behaviour automatically. That is, by far, the worst excuse I've ever heard for blaming the victim.
I was scared clicking on this video because I know the concept but had issues with it since i first heard it. I really enjoyed your perspective Alicia, you verballized so clearly what I have been feeling. ❤
Amazing video! Thank you! Love your collaboration! True champions of being evolved humans. Even the relationship changes, it doesn't mean people lose the connection itself. Whether professional, parental, co-parenting etc... we can make it work!! ❤❤❤ love you both
This is really insightful! I was wondering a mental health safe place’s insight on responsibility when it comes to bad treatment and triggers. I feel safe and welcome here because it is so honest but nonjudgmental. I know exactly what both Jono and Alicia mean and many people who have been victimized (including me, I haven’t been perfect in my healing journey) when there’s the resentment of having to do the work when others won’t take accountability. Showing up for yourself is a way to be the bigger person which is just demonstrating character. (Side note: great color coordination!)
I believe it’s important to be the bigger person, but I also believe it’s important not to take people’s bull. I think there’s a lot of people out there who think being the bigger person is putting up with people’s abuse. I had to learn the hard way from that and I’m glad I’ve stopped for the most part.
Definitely want to say on this that although there are always consequences to your actions (cause and effect) you cannot determine what these will be and so to be fully responsible for the outcomes of anything you choose to do that’s external of you just is not true. As you have agency of your inner world, so do others in how they equally respond or react or even infer a specific situation. It’s empowering to know we have our inner core that is beautiful and that cannot be taken away, but accessing that takes time and sometimes we go through something that traumatic we develop PTSD or have been conditioned that much that sometimes we aren’t in control of our reactions because we are that triggered. It can be changed, with willing, over time and through education and different practices and habits, but as you say I don’t think it does any good to shame anyone when they are not responding how they would like when in survival mode and healing. The only way to grow is through self-compassion and from a place of love and curiosity and not hate!! ❤
I had always been wondering, if Jonathan has AD(H)D. Thanks for the answer now 😃 Cool video, very wise. I really like the example of a shark biting off a leg
Lol so that's what that's called. I had someone say the only person that can decide how far I go in the company is me, and I said yeah, that's not true. I've been here for 5 years. 😂😂😂😂
It’s not blaming external factors to acknowledge them. AWESOME!
I’ve been in a pool of self-loathing for sooooo long regarding this and what is / isn’t my responsibility.
Taking accountability whilst also having self-compassion and grieving what’s happened to you is so hard.
And it’s never pretty to heal. It’s uncomfortable as hell and causes hurt inside and potentially outside of you because you’ve been injured and you need time to heal and sometimes you may never be the same as you once were and that’s okay too!
Thanks guys ❤
I would love to hear more from Jonathan about his experience of adhd... specifically around resoponsibility/acceptance/growth and adhd, that would be really helpful
"if you're saying its all on me and its all my responsibility is a slippery slope to its all my fault" - this is a trap I've been falling into a lot especially around my adhd symptoms, thank you for articulating the difference
Yes I absolutely second this comment, an entire in depth video on ADHD would be phenomenal
Dr. Deloney has said, "Not by my hand, but in my lap." I've found that helpful. Thank you guys for addressing this!
I often look at personal responsibility in this way. If it happened one time, its possible it was the other person or the both of us. If repeatedly I run into same situations in life, its time to look in the mirror and see what is within me causing that.
absolutely. we have responsiblity over what we little we have control of. and nothing is our responsibility outside of our control. life is learning what we can and cannot do and what we will or won't do. knowing who we are truly and eternally makes all the difference for our good. radical acceptance. don't fight reality. accept what is and what was. focus on what you can and will do. The Serenity Prayer.
I apply responsibility as much as I can to the correct person or event. I am grateful for this video and am thinking about sending it to a man who tried very hard to make me believe that everything that happened in my life is entirely my fault.... because unfortunately, he read the wrong books. Dr. Bruce Lipton is a master of radical responsibility and that man is a neuropsychologist gone astray because of him. He even blamed me for all the abuse he made me suffer by saying that I am so mentally ill, I attract bad behaviour automatically. That is, by far, the worst excuse I've ever heard for blaming the victim.
radical responsibility and radical acceptance go hand in hand
I was scared clicking on this video because I know the concept but had issues with it since i first heard it. I really enjoyed your perspective Alicia, you verballized so clearly what I have been feeling. ❤
Amazing video!
Thank you! Love your collaboration! True champions of being evolved humans. Even the relationship changes, it doesn't mean people lose the connection itself. Whether professional, parental, co-parenting etc... we can make it work!! ❤❤❤ love you both
This is really insightful! I was wondering a mental health safe place’s insight on responsibility when it comes to bad treatment and triggers. I feel safe and welcome here because it is so honest but nonjudgmental. I know exactly what both Jono and Alicia mean and many people who have been victimized (including me, I haven’t been perfect in my healing journey) when there’s the resentment of having to do the work when others won’t take accountability. Showing up for yourself is a way to be the bigger person which is just demonstrating character. (Side note: great color coordination!)
I believe it’s important to be the bigger person, but I also believe it’s important not to take people’s bull. I think there’s a lot of people out there who think being the bigger person is putting up with people’s abuse. I had to learn the hard way from that and I’m glad I’ve stopped for the most part.
@@dearfuturepeople1808 You’re absolutely right!
Definitely want to say on this that although there are always consequences to your actions (cause and effect) you cannot determine what these will be and so to be fully responsible for the outcomes of anything you choose to do that’s external of you just is not true. As you have agency of your inner world, so do others in how they equally respond or react or even infer a specific situation.
It’s empowering to know we have our inner core that is beautiful and that cannot be taken away, but accessing that takes time and sometimes we go through something that traumatic we develop PTSD or have been conditioned that much that sometimes we aren’t in control of our reactions because we are that triggered.
It can be changed, with willing, over time and through education and different practices and habits, but as you say I don’t think it does any good to shame anyone when they are not responding how they would like when in survival mode and healing.
The only way to grow is through self-compassion and from a place of love and curiosity and not hate!!
❤
It would be great to hear a lot of examples of what radical responsibility sounds like.
Thank you for the suggestion! We will have to look into that. 💜
I had always been wondering, if Jonathan has AD(H)D. Thanks for the answer now 😃
Cool video, very wise.
I really like the example of a shark biting off a leg
SO much ADHD! - Jono
Lol so that's what that's called. I had someone say the only person that can decide how far I go in the company is me, and I said yeah, that's not true. I've been here for 5 years. 😂😂😂😂
Great video and really insightful, but the placing of the audio mostly in the left or right channel feels weird to me and is distracting me
The constant interrupting made this hard to listen to. But I appreciate the info.