As a woman with no kids, I have the upmost respect for single moms. I look at some of my friends who are single mother's and I literally wonder where the strength comes from. Respect
Lala you are so awesome for speaking positivity towards single mothers because all I ever hear is straight hatred toward us. Your amazing and God bless you
Tony, I completely agree. I'm a single mother to a child with a disability. I've been divorced 5 years and people are still confused as to why I'm still single. I don't trust any man around my child. Since divorcing I've only been in 1 relationship and he never met my daughter and was offended I didn't want him around her inside of a year. It ended and God revealed so much about him. He had a porn addiction and other scary vices. I don't consider these things small because of you and to some people it wasn't enough to end it because he was a 'good' guy but I know God was protecting me and my daughter. I thank God he never had access to my body too because that could have hindered my judgement with his 'good guy' persona. Single mom, God's got us. Don't let your heart become so desparate, that you eat any lies. ♥️
@@mirandaholley9797 Thank you. My situation is unique because my daughter cannot speak or communicate so I have to be extra cautious. I can only thank God to be honest.♥️
Raised a 20 year old daughter as a single mom for 6 years. Her dad passed away when she was 14. She’s on her own now. I avoided dating until she was grown. It was better for her. I’m glad I did. Women don’t want to be alone either but I had to do what was best for my child.
This is why I learn from both Tony Gaskins and Bishop RC Blake’s, we need to be able to hear something and know immediately to walk/run away. Because Bishop Blake’s teaches women like he’s your father, to raise our Queen consciousness(remember who we really are, and to shake off the worldly views always being thrown at us), and Tony Gaskins is like the male friend/brother you never had who is going to pull you aside and give you the inside track on everything. Listening to both of them can pull any woman out of the confusion that is not of God.
Single moms forgive yourselves, the child you carried in your womb, deserves all of you. That man didn’t fully accept you with the gift of immortality you gave him.
Peach, I needed to hear this thank you for this comment!!!!! I'm tired of crying over it. It happened, the kid is here. He has moved forward without a thought, why shouldn't I ??? I am going to live my life and be happy with my blessing. He has been cut out.
I cried reading this. I have felt the guilt so strong of bringing my child into a situation where they are being raised in a single parent home. Wasn't my plan but it happened. I accept it.
@@melb1003 it’s okay, sweetheart. Your going to continue to be a great mom. Forgive yourself, practice at your own speed forgiving him for not being the man you needed him to be. Set your boundaries with yourself to protect your heart, but allow for your child to build a healthy, happy relationship with his/her father. Can’t go back and change that, now. All is well. Thru Christ all things are possible.
Moral of the story is you MUST learn and grow. Whether you had a child in marriage or out of wedlock. Your child is the main priority, period. A man can wait. Singleness is not a curse. Using this to remind myself to not loose my joy being desperate for love, and causing me to miss red flags.
Yea that’s true but how long you gone wait until your old and unattractive. Women gotta take motherhood and relationships more seriously don’t take it far as to sleep around raw it’s too many contraceptives to prevent these things. Do it right the first time
Finished this entire video. I will say, I don't view my children as a curse. I believe they are a blessing. As much work as they are....they make life so much better.❤️
👏🏽I am with you on that sister! My son is the best unplanned event that could've ever happened to me. I had to stop being around female "friends" because they were suspect. It's women out here that will watch your son grow up and waiting for them to come into manhood. I want having it! He's 26 and amazing now.
I absolutely love the part where Tony says, I am going to raise my child with peace, with pleasure, with poise. Yes, Lord I receive this message in my life-in the name of Jesus Christ...Amen!
Single and divorced mother of 3 boys. After 5 years of being divorced, I'm still not ok with bringing someone I've met around my kids. Needless to say, nothing has been long term so I'm glad I made the choice not to bring temporary people around them. Although I sometimes wish for a good partner, I'll just continue to be single.
@Priscilla they usually already have a new partner that's why most of the break ups happened. She may be new to the kids but she's not new to him. So he feels it's time for the kids to meet her because she's been around for a while.
@Priscilla I don't like it but there's nothing I can do about it. Men will do what they want and swear they're right. Most men don't like being alone so there's always woman after woman until they find the right one and as a result, the kids will see that happening. But, that doesn't have any impact on me wanting to bring multiple men around them. I'll continue to do as I have been.
You had 3 kids by a man.. actually your husband but you divorced him? Instead of working things through for the kids you thought of yourself? You deserve to be alone and single.. yuck
Ladies with kids, I am a lawyer and this child abuse is not rare but common. When Tony talks about discretion most women do not have this level in dating. I pray for these kids.
Single mothers are dumb asses. Close your fucking legs and stop sharing your womb with men who don’t give a fuck about you and your offspring’s well-being.I HATE single mothers. They get in the way of happy endings with their burdensome, needy situation.
Tony...I've never seen that look in your eyes before. You were so direct in this video. The Lord was speaking through you in this video. It is so good. Be blessed!
@@rikkibreeden5233 hmmm... I wouldn't label it as eerie, because I wasn't frightened or didn't find it to be strange. I can tell the Lord was using him to give a direct or stern message. In addition, I'm glad we both enjoyed it. 🙂
Eerie doesn't necessarily mean scary or frightening. Just mysterious even supernatural. As you mentioned at that moment it really looked like the Lord was speaking through him.
Ok, ladies..I know I already commented but these stories are evil what these men are doing. I work for the military and the things women go through in their own home is unspeakable. We really have a serious problem. Instead of laying with these men, we need to be casting out demons. Honestly if you ask the Lord with a sincere open heart to come into the relationship and ask Him, "Lord, show me if this man is for me and my child, bring what is in the dark, out to the light." I promise you, HE WILL SHOW YOU! He never has failed me with that. ❤️ It's a hard question to ask, but it will save you pounds of heartache and consequences.
@@thegreatconsciousnessrenai7221 That's not true, it's always good to still consult the Lord for His CONFIRMATION regardless of how "sure" or "confident" you may be in the man you're seeing.
I believe God just elevated you in the spirit for this message!!!!! You just knocked a legion of demons in the face 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Especially when he said you got to knock that knight in shining armor in the head with a bottle and slap him with the Holy Bible 😭😭😂😂😂😂🙌🏿💯💯 All praises to the Most High
Don’t settle ladies. That’s why some men like to belittle you for being a single mom so you’ll lower standards. It’s plenty of good men who will still want you as a single mom but never settle!!!
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING ENLIGHTENING WORDS OF WISDOM! ALWAYS SETTLE FOR THE BEST! LET GOD HANDLE THE REST! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD GOT U COVERED! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD BLESS US ALL ! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! SMILE ALWAYS!( EVEN IN STORMS THAT U GO THRU!) PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! SEPT 2021
Wait what??? Any man who deals with a single mother will MOST DEFINITELY BE SETTLING for you😂 you say single moms should lower their standards well what should they do since the man they brought life into this world with didn’t want to be with you? Single moms that have children out of a product of sexual irresponsibility deserve to be alone
Single mom of 4...been struggling with accepting it. Watching single moms growing up including MY MOM... I told myself that I could never do this, that it was a FEAR of mine 😢😥 now here I am single sad and miserable! But I needed this message not because Im desperate for a man but I needed to HEAR Tony say that I need to ACCEPT the choices I made for my life and protect my babies because I did what I did to get them here!!! I have a chance to do better now and teach my babies the right way to do things. Thank you, thank you, thank you Tony for this POWERFUL message! I watched your "Develop in the Dark" Video too Smh It literally awakened my soul been watching it over and over again!
I have been working on this message to you for a while now, I just want to say satan isn’t going to send a predator your way that you can sniff out from miles away. If he worked like that, no one would ever fall for it. When “something” happens an apology later can never remove the pain/trauma a predator has already inflicted. The person who violated me in my home was a good looking black man who women fell over themselves for, who could and did sweep all kinds of beautiful women off their feet including my mom(gorgeous woman). Guess what, he had a thing for girls…I was a SHY, obedient 15 year old. I experienced being touched before but never at home. His energy was off, so I was always fully dressed and around my mom or in my room when he visited. None of that mattered, I was moved away, my mom found out later it wasn’t my fault when she found pics in his phone of him with other young girls, then that he was touching someone else we knew. Protect your babies at all cost. Much love to you queen 💗.
Still forgiving myself for this also. It’s definitely a journey. My pastor preached a message today about not believing the lies of the enemy. The enemy is the father of lies and often dresses his lie with a bit of the truth. For instance (for me) something he said to me that I believed was that it was my fault as why this happened and that I was to feel ashamed and guilty about it. But what’s real is although yes, I brought both my babies into this world, children are a blessing from God and if God did not want me to have them He could’ve have made me without..but God saw fit to bless me with them. And He has forgiven me with how I’ve brought them here and so it is time to move on, forgive ourselves and walk with our heads held high. Unashamed.
@@aliyah369 Congratulations on your pregnancy. Enjoy your pregnancy and don't be ashamed. That energy will go into your heart don't allow that. Take pictures while your pregnant enjoy eating your cravings. Embrace your new love that is now your baby. If people are being negative be around them less so you don't feel some type of way. Plan your pregnancy with the father if available or a good friend or family member who can be their for you to hear you and support your emotional roller-coaster lol. Plan your baby shower and look at childcare centers if you plan to have your baby in one. I been there and I use to feel the same way but when I had other children I decided nobody was going to have me to feel that way no more. Take your power back and enjoy your life with your baby on the way. Congratulations again!
As a single pregnant woman I am so grateful I came across this video now. This literally gave me chills! Thank you Tony! God bless you for being so straight forward and honest with us.
He speaking facts!!!!!!! Wow. Man idunno who he preaching for. But I really hope they heed his wise words and warning. God's timing is best timing. God bless you Tony for sharing such a deep message.
It’s sad. I went through this with my ex. And he hated the fact I loved and adore my son’s and my son had to put hands on him because he hated our relationship and he knew I knew he wasn’t a good father to his own. Fast forward 2 years later. We are going strong without the clown
Married to a man for 8 years. Had 2 kids prior. We had 5 together. He never loved my children or treated them like his own. Was mentally and emotionally abusive. Looking back I see that I didn’t know how to love myself. I thought I needed to be married to be happy. It’s not worth it! Never put a man before your children. Love yourself, and create a happy life for you and your children.
If he didn’t love your children or treated them like his own why would you think it was a good idea to have kids with him??? I was raised by a single mother and my “mother” brought a man and he never acted like a father or a father figure... he was horrible, an assh*le to me and my “mother” would never say or do anything... she would always take his side and I feel so betrayed by her... I want nothing to do with her... I hate her... and she was toxic too, but society doesn’t like to talk about these mothers because society feels sorry for them and are always viewed as the victims when in reality the majority of them are the victims of their own choices... but props to the good single mothers who actually love their children and put them above anything or anyone... some women forget that they are mothers before they are women
@@TheDaniMilan Thank You. I’m doing great. these “mothers” know exactly what they’re doing, they sacrifice their kids... let them get mistreated by their men because if they say anything or do anything to defend them their men can walk away... and they don’t want that because they can’t pay the rent alone, they need his 50% to survive... so they act blind and deaf while their children get treated like crap because it’s convenient
Why would he love and treat children that he did not create as if they are his own?? You are DELUSIONAL. Your children were an exhausting burden. The world does no revolve around the idiotic, foolish decisions you made with your womb. The second you expect a new partner to orbit his existence around your dumb decision to create offspring with the wrong man is the moment you become a less valuable partner.
I have so much respect for single mothers., the ones that goes above and beyond to care for her kiddos. That’s a special lady and she should NEVER feel less than.
She IS less than. She has less time, energy, focus, resources, and availability to offer due to her illegitimate, out of wedlock child. Nobody grows up hoping and wishing to be a stepparent.
@@aliciawoods8925 ...👀 Do those two words put together actually make intellectual sense to you?? If you can’t handle the truth then maybe you should stay out of comment sections.
My problem is I ignored all the signs that slapped me in the face day 1, I even had conversation with God, and he said as long you stay knowing it ain’t right you’ll get everything you deserve and that’s exactly what happened. 3/12 years later and a child now he doesn’t even see his child say it’s easier to not have a relationship with her because he’s now back with his 1st BM, It is what it is never again tho! We cause a lot of our own pain by ignoring the signs from the start.
I did that a whole lot in a lot of my past bad and horrific relationships ignoring the early signs of red flags, but nevertheless you can't beat yourself up,we're all human being's looking for love however sometimes in all of the wrong places. The reason sometimes we ignore the early signs is because we want things to work out, we want to give the sorry ass men the benefit of the doubt until we're forced to accept and deal with the reality of things. Keep your head up and be encouraged.
My goodness, I'm not a mother but loved this message. It was such a wake up call for me. Single mamas, you got this.. please know you are worthy of real love❤
Unless they’re a widow or formerly divorced, single mothers should go to hell. They get in the way with the dumb, idiotic, foolish decisions they made with their womb.
Tony’s speaking the truth. I remember when I was between the ages of 12-14 and my mom and I moved in with this man and the day we moved in he showed his hatred towards me. He even told me once that “oh your mom will never leave me.” She eventually left when she really saw how he was, but it took her two years. They start off charming in the beginning. He was super charming in the beginning. Once you’re in their territory or they have you alone, the real them shows up.
@@kaleema1987 the crazy thing is it did NOT take long for that mask to fall off. It was literally the day we moved in with him and I gave his dogs too much food by accident and he went into a rage and called me a moron. At that moment I knew he was crazy.
The hatred stemmed from you being a non-stop, permanent reminder of a man who was in your mother’s bed. Giving your resources to another person’s child is an exhausting burden. That’s money that could be going into a retirement fund or vacation money yet is being used to feed and clothe a child he did not create. It is your mother’s fault for sharing her womb with the wrong men.
I'm a single mother of four kids. Husband left to be with another woman who has 2 kids. When I tell you I was holding onto the wall hearing this message. I will definitely have to replay this a couple of times because this right here, has done something to me today. I feel empowered so going to need to get this feeling weekly. God bless you and your beautiful family Tony, big love to the Queen Sheree Gaskins (I hope I spelt it correctly)
Single mother of 2, not settling for a mess. I see women without kids dealing with more than I ever have. Men will use any excuse to justify not treating you like you deserve to be treated.
It’s so hard to hear the truth, the ugly truth about the crap single mother’s are subjected to in the dating world. I was manipulated And let myself be, just wanted to be happy. The loneliness and fear of being alone is real, makes us compromise ourselves in the worst ways. Men see this and take advantage for sure. I wish i could meet myself 10 years ago and show myself this video. Thank you Tony
I do t know why but I don’t have fear of being alone at all been single for almost 12 years since I was pregnant and I feel fine, maybe because I watch a lot of crime shows/documentaries and many MANY times it is child murdered/abused/molested by step-father/boyfriend of an IDIOT who introduced them to her children…. And yes I know there are good stories yes but they are VERY rare and the woman usually was friends with the guy for a long time before they got together! This fear alone of someone I brought to the house, hurting my child making me feel absolutely positive about the decision not to date/see/introduce anyone to my child! P.S. we have no relationship at all with bio father.
Unfortunately this is so common! We have to forgive ourselves. I let my ex-fiancée feed me so much hope that it did as the scripture says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick”. I listened to him instead of judging his actions(once the facade went away). I finally found RC Blake’s, and I think the very first video was about my situation and I cried so hard. I have now come out of that relationship FULLY, focusing on the 3 B’s Tony tells us to, and I am loving myself so much more, I hope you are too!
He is right on point it almost heppen to me and my daughter he was dateing me and seen my daughter and looked for her on Facebook and was trying to hit on but my daughter got on her phone and told me mom please leave that man alone he is no good so please listen to Tony🙏
Thank you Brother Tony As a single mom you just confirmed alot of concerns i have had about dating. I'm going to let someone go that i have not even met yet just was talking to them and signals went up real quick regarding my children. God just spoke to me through you. Thank you
Thank you for this video, I am crying cause of your beautiful message and for caring for us women with kids that need direction. I grew up without my dad cause he passed away, my mom decided to NOT get married to protect me from any abuse, now that i think about it she sacrificed her love life for me and my well being. Now i have a 10 month kid and i am no loger with the babydaddy and i needed to hear this message for sure, so much wisdom THANK YOU!
That last part Tony where you vented & said it’s not fair, mom in another state, he out, I’m stuck in the house… that’s so real. I used to sound just like that until one day I realized this is fully my child & I have to walk this thang out. God has his reasons for us having these kids full time. It is what it is. Can’t waste my energy lamenting on it. Great video.
A freakin men!!!!! I’ve been divorced and HAPPILY single for the past 3yrs! I WAS that woman that was desperate for a man for yrs!!! NOT ANYMORE THANK GOD!!!
Smh…I so agree with you Tony! I never looked at it this way, but single mothers have to be extremely careful. As a single women I taught we had it rough, but God please bless these single moms out here! Discernment and common sense is a MUST! Keep talking the truth Tony😞🥲🙏🏿😇
Same here...Single mama of 3 all from my ex-husband. I sometimes wish for a partner but then again raising my kids is most important to me. I have absolutely no interest in bringing different men around them.
Tony holding back pounds of tears in this video. This man is busting his butt, making tons of sacrifices, just for yall to spit in his face. So many of yall in these comments STILL went and slept with that toxic grown boy even after watching this video and commenting how much it "touched" you.
@Bill Kapri , I feel like you're some lame alpha male, hiding behind a fake page that you just made on September 1st 2021. You've left countless amounts of negative comments about women under Tony Gaskins videos, which is disgusting and weird. I'm sorry you're broke, I'm sorry you're third leg isn't big enough, I'm sorry that you're looks challenged, and I'm sorry that you're butt hurt about it. BUT Tony can help you !!!! Head over to GrownBoy University and get your life. We're rooting for you Bro 🙌
This was one of the best single mother talks so far . By the way … I sent my BD your “the father you can be “ he cursed me out . Lol tickled me that he would be mad . Lol
Absolutely love this particular content. As a survivor of single motherhood, Tony is speaking thee Truth! God has kept me in protection, my son is now 19 (15 yrs I was a single mother) and I'm glad that I waited. His life and safely had to come above any needs I had for a relationship. It's hard word but it is possible. God knows what you need Exactly when you need it. Now that he is an adult there is a level of peace.
This was an awesome message. I am a single mom of 3, all to the same man. It’s hard I want love with a man but, I want healthy, happy and safe children far more. I am 100% ok with the decision I’ve made not to date at this time.
This touched me and brought tears to my eyes in 2023. I’m ready to listen to God on this matter and embrace this season focusing on God and my children as a single mother.
This message is hitting home. As a single mom I have made the same poor decisions over and over again. My kids are a blessing and a lesson. I am single and focused on my kids. When God knows I am ready I will be blessed with a good God fearing/ loving man. Thank you for your message Tony. This message hurt but I accept it. Single moms please listen and take heed even if the truth hurts. I love all my single moms. Please keep being great moms and know God will send you a good man when it is your season and you have learned what you need to know to have a loving and awesome relationship with the man that is right for you and your family.
This is the video coaching u needed to hear because I’m tired of not having anyone around me so I have to find my own way for the sake of my kids but I know God got me at the end of the day singleness is a season. I learned from my divorced and know that God choice is peaceful and strength worthy
This video brought me to tears - I didn’t grow up with my Dad and I’ve been desperately searching for a good man but it’s not worth putting my own kids at risk because of my desperation. Thank you for saying and even yelling at single moms to wake up! This world is scarier than I ever imagined and every video I watch keeps opening my eyes. If God give me life to watch my little one grow up, I plan to have her watch all of Tony’s videos so she will be as prepared for the ugly truth of mankind.
The realest video ever! As a single mom, I fully accept my life as it is and am so focused on giving my daughter the best life I’m too distracted anyway lol. Being a single mom is not something I ever saw myself being but it didn’t stop my poor decisions. So when it I happened, I owned it and grew up immediately. Now my goal is to set my daughter up for greatness! If God decides to bless me with a husband, so be it! But I’m ok either way. She’s 4. I had her at 31. According to societal standards, I’m too old on top of having a child. So the pickings are extremely slim!🤣 So we’ll see what God has in store!
I agree 100%. As a single mother of one girl I chose not to date until my daughter was older. Even during her teenaged years I still never allowed men to meet my daughter or spend time in the home where I raise her. When and if I meet the man that God intends for me. People may think your being overly cautious or try to make u feel like an off ball for choosing to be single for that season but please ignore them. I’ll the right man him to my daughter after he has been fully vetted, tried and true. Thank you Tony for confirming what I knew was right.
Yes, my time is devoted to family and personal/career development. Im currently preparing for undergrad for Pre-Med and have 1 daughter, therefore dating is not even on my list of priorities. Also, men used to get mad at me because I never told them about my daughter.
In their mind they though you were childless but you hiding children they assumed you were trapping them with a child from another man or saw your dishonesty as a red flag. You can’t just expect a man to be okay with a children they never expected to see while dating you. Maybe that man wasn’t ready for a child at that moment. You need to be honest and find out whether a man is okay with dating a single mom, considering the stigma that exists with this topic.
My dad never let no man stay at our house no matter if it was his brother/uncle/cousin and I remember my mom wanted her cousin to stay for a bit bc he had no place to stay at and my dad said absolutely not! Men know men! Thank you for sharing this Tony!
I appreciate your work on all your platforms..the hardest part is the IG Q&As. Honestly, I felt sick. All sorts of emotions at once. My stomach hurt me last night. I got a headache with all the LDRs .I'm so glad you're here helping us. May the good Lord keep strengthening you. Be blessed.
This is the most POWERFUL MESSAGE IVE EVER HEARD!!!!!!! I’m in tears and I haven’t even had this experience. PROTECTIVE CUSTODY, amen. I feel like going back to church!!!
As a single mom of a 4 year old daughter…this is spot on. I’ve never brought any man around my daughter. Can’t just do what you want when you have kids. I’m only 40 mins through but your passion and conviction about this topic is evident! Thank you for all you do! Watching these vids and taking notes has blessed me tremendously! Ended a 12 year toxic ship with the BD, and going on 1 year of abstinence. None by my power but Jesus and seeking Him and on my face! None of your work is done in vain! Good bless you!!
Exactly when you look back, you will realize that some one warned you, Gods blessings adds no sorrow, you can be a church girl for years and still be deceived if you don't pay attention, Beautiful message, Thank you so much
By the time I turned 12, I always refused to sit on my father's laps. It did not matter what he said and he always thought there was something wrong with me. I tell the same thing to my daughter and I do not leave her alone with any man including her uncles! You are sooooo right. People are wicked and unless man's mind is renewed by the holy spirit , there is no way he won't seize an opportunity to satisfy himself!
When Tony got to talking about "you don't have your favorite wine in you, your favorite pasta in you, your favorite shrimp scampi in you, your favorite movie on Netflix, haven't been touched in 6 months or 6 years " I was hollering 😭🤣🤣🤣🤣 like sir get out my life. My ex actually set all that up and I been abstinence for 3 years. Not today Satan.
This video broke my heart in pieces. I appreciate your truth and delivery. I thank God for using you to speak to us Queens. I appreciate the truth. God bless you and your family. I wish more black men had the mind Frame you have. Love, light and peace♥️💎🙏🏽
I loved this ... made me cry 😢.... I've been single by choice since I was pregnant with my daughter and she's 5 now ... I will not entertain a man unless God makes it clear that he's the one for me !!! Because all that you said is true , it's scary out here and as much as I want to be married one day, I will never want to jeopardize the life and innocence of my child !!! Period
Wow !!!! This is so deep . I had to catch my breath at times and pause the video . Just to catch my breath . But this message is so necessary for us single moms . 🙏
My my my.... Tony Gaskins!!! On point ... every word nailed it!!! I bear witness with every word you’re saying!!! Truth!!! You really had me laughing in here... but boy oh boy... truths we can’t deny!!! God Bless you over and over and over again🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 I have the hugest smile on my face cause I’m feeling set free by this talk.... I’m looking forward to the Zoom catchup... Don’t forget some of us are in different countries now... would love to join the zoom .... thank you!!! Melbourne 🇦🇺
I respect Tony Gaskin for his truth ! 💯 I’m glad he owns up to his past & has changed his life around yet also admit that he’s not perfect. Main reason I always come back & watch his videos cause he’s raw 🔥
Preach Tony!! Let the truth be told, I thank God all my children are adults with families of their own, but I did wait till my children were old enough to be able to tell me if they were being touched or abused, then I dated. Praying for single mothers. 🙏🙏🙏
The only option is to have no kids. I know several married women who's husband showed hes colours while pregnant. Its not about choices, it's about a certain type of man that exsists. So if you will never know until its too late, just don't have kids. According to this video, you have to protect your kids and that means not living your life.
Thank you for sharing this. I am a single mom I have been single totally for 7 years. I know God is protecting us I have to be grateful. These men.... As soon as you turn your back they are on the PROWL. They are baiting. They are manipulating. And they are SKILLED at gaining the trust of children.
Tony....yes you need to. Do more on this...im a single mom at 52 my daughter is 11 and I'm telling you this has helped me in so many ways.... You're never to old to learn....Thank you so much tony
“This man got to be hit over the head with a bottle of olive oil & a Holy Bible.” 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 I actually was listening to this around 4am this morning and was snickering as I was half sleep. Had to play it again.
As a soon to be single mom, pregnant by my ex bf who lied and said he had a vasectomy, you are 1000000000% correct about everything in this video. Especially the part about 30% in that makes all the ladies upset. I’m excited for this next chapter in my life to be a mom. I’m not looking for any man. Although I was deceived, I still made my choice and I am not mad at God at all. I’m going to get myself straight and have joy in the process. Thank you and keep keeping it real, the women need to hear this even if they don’t like it.
This is my game plan as a single mom: -no sex until after the wedding reception (one year and 9 mo. abstinent so far) single & NOT looking😇 - no meeting my son until engaged -no meeting his family until engaged -no coming over to my house -no overnight visits to either house -no cheap house dates period -no controlling behavior (check him early) -no disrespect (check him early) -no loud arguing / discussions only (check him early) - no making me an option. I'm a priority. - no profanity/ swearing -no drinking / smoking/ nasty movies - no 50/50 paying. My wallet doesn't exist around a man - be independent and take care of my own bills and my household - always look beautiful and well groomed -no sex talk/language (slippery slope) -listen more than I speak (gather data on him. Let him talk) - keep firm and stern boundaries w my sons father (hold him accountable through the legal system. Not my stress anymore) -keep leveling up financially and anyone who wants to be w me is gonna have to catch me on the way up🚀😘✌️
I advise meeting his family and friends prior to engagement. It is part of the vetting process. Don’t put too much weight on meeting them. Put weight on their character and if you see any discrepancies.
If you’re tryna trap a brother just say that, you are not a virgin you have a whole child. A man should not have to abide by that long list of rules that you have HUMBLE yourself.
I’ve always been very productive of my kids, no one gets to meet my kids because I’ve never been close to being engaged. Now I need to be more protective of myself. Sometimes we forget to protect ourselves.
This is an awsome message. This is a very needed message. I sent this to my 22 year old daughter she has a 8-month-old daughter...I appreciate you and your family. Thank you Mrs. Gaskins for sharing your husband with the world helping people. I know it's a sacrifice, thank you❤
I'm a single mom, and I don't put ANYTHING pass a man..no matter what position he holds. A woman told me I'm tripping when I told her I've never let my child father bathe her. Not even if I had a son. I once told an ex before he met my child, that if he looks at her in any wrong way, that's it for him,and I was with him three years before he met her. She was 6 by then. We got to keep our eyes and ears open when bringing people around our children. Constant Eyes/Ears On (C.E.E.O.)Be blessed.
I watched this video through twice yesterday and watched part of it a third time. You just changed my life Brother Gaskins. I have a 2 year old and planned on being married by next year when I’m 25. This video just let me know to wait another 34 mos before dating for my child sake. This is the consequence I have for choosing the wrong person to have a child with. I also agree that there should be at least one year of dating and vetting before a child is introduced to the partner. I’m prepared to do this, I love my daughters and never viewed things from this perspective. I was just talking to my daddy about this and he never viewed things from this perspective either and he is happy I am listening to your advice. I just shared the video with him because he is newly divorced and will likely be dating again soon and I have a young sister. I am so grateful for this. Thank you.
There are some “coaches” that advice men to never date single mothers. They demean these women and make them appear as if they’re less for having children from a relationship that didn’t work 🤦🏻♀️ (I’m a divorced mother). They don’t realize that it’s best for these mothers (me) to be single than to be with the wrong person.
The reality is that many men ended up getting used for their money as financial support for ungrateful, out of wedlock children and self-centered single mothers. The “package deal” means being treated like a second class citizen. I would advise any man to avoid dating single mothers unless their children are adults because they often think the world revolves around them and their mess.
@@eerynessential Most of them are single mothers because they couldn’t stop spreading their legs for the wrong man. Not because they reproduced in an honorable way, but because they were completely foolish and put their emotions and sexual needs before a solid plan for their offspring.
I needed this am asingle mom to a 8year old : unfortunately here in kenya men don't see there kids nor pay child support they don't do anything we just do it by yourself it's hard but we survive by the grace Of GOD .am also taking care of my younger siblings its really a heavy burden may GOD continue to give us more favour its not easy at all.
Tony, THANK YOU! Thank you for having the righteous boldness to stand up and speak nothing but the truth. Your messages and videos are truly impacting my life. I thank God for you and your family and the time you’re putting in for God’s people. God Bless You and your family!
Thank you Tony for this message…it’s an extremely important message that women need to hear….and its a serious reality check….you are imparting important wisdom.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for this video Tony Gaskins much needed to hear this I learned alot I took it all in I'm a single Mother of 2 kid's I'm about to watch your video again❤
This was brilliant! lots of information i never really considered, so thankful for the insight as i’m always looking for new ways to be better and smarter for myself and my little girl as a newly single mom. this was perfect timing! i feel it’s only right to embrace this season of singleness and continue my self-love journey alone until my daughter is much older (she’ll be 2 soon)
My mother and I have lost any possibility of a relationship because of exactly this. She brought a vile pervert into my life, into my atmosphere and psyche. As a teen, he was licking his chops. I thank God every day for watching over me during my teenage years in that house. Single mothers do not understand. Bringing a man around your children is a tricky and dangerous thing.
As a woman with no kids, I have the upmost respect for single moms. I look at some of my friends who are single mother's and I literally wonder where the strength comes from. Respect
Thank You in behalf of all the single mothers.
Lala you are so awesome for speaking positivity towards single mothers because all I ever hear is straight hatred toward us. Your amazing and God bless you
Literally take each day as it comes! Thanks hun xxx
🙌🏾🙌🏾 All the GLORY goes to GOD hun… HE is our strength..!!!
❤️❤️
Tony, I completely agree. I'm a single mother to a child with a disability. I've been divorced 5 years and people are still confused as to why I'm still single. I don't trust any man around my child. Since divorcing I've only been in 1 relationship and he never met my daughter and was offended I didn't want him around her inside of a year. It ended and God revealed so much about him. He had a porn addiction and other scary vices. I don't consider these things small because of you and to some people it wasn't enough to end it because he was a 'good' guy but I know God was protecting me and my daughter. I thank God he never had access to my body too because that could have hindered my judgement with his 'good guy' persona. Single mom, God's got us. Don't let your heart become so desparate, that you eat any lies. ♥️
Proud of you💐
@@mirandaholley9797 Thank you. My situation is unique because my daughter cannot speak or communicate so I have to be extra cautious. I can only thank God to be honest.♥️
@@Bgrace15 All praise to the Most High God!
@@Bgrace15 hi sis. I'm also a single mother to a special 😇. Bless you and your daughter❤️💜💚
Amen, thanks for sharing.
Raised a 20 year old daughter as a single mom for 6 years. Her dad passed away when she was 14. She’s on her own now. I avoided dating until she was grown. It was better for her. I’m glad I did. Women don’t want to be alone either but I had to do what was best for my child.
You did right. Good job mom.
A woman who waits until her children are out of the house and grown. is a real mother.. men really don't want to raise other men's kids.
My hubs died when our child just turned 11 yrs. I had to protect her.
Kuddos to you! My Daughter's 12 years old,I have the same mindset. We been rocking solo since she was 2 days old yes 2 DAYS old!
Are you dating or in a relationship now ?
This is why I learn from both Tony Gaskins and Bishop RC Blake’s, we need to be able to hear something and know immediately to walk/run away. Because Bishop Blake’s teaches women like he’s your father, to raise our Queen consciousness(remember who we really are, and to shake off the worldly views always being thrown at us), and Tony Gaskins is like the male friend/brother you never had who is going to pull you aside and give you the inside track on everything. Listening to both of them can pull any woman out of the confusion that is not of God.
Well said. I listen to them both as well.
I love them both; they give such great advice!
Girl Yeeeessss!
yes! love listening to RC
Love me some RC Blakes and Tony ♥️
Single moms forgive yourselves, the child you carried in your womb, deserves all of you. That man didn’t fully accept you with the gift of immortality you gave him.
Peach, I needed to hear this thank you for this comment!!!!! I'm tired of crying over it. It happened, the kid is here. He has moved forward without a thought, why shouldn't I ??? I am going to live my life and be happy with my blessing. He has been cut out.
Yes a good word
I cried reading this. I have felt the guilt so strong of bringing my child into a situation where they are being raised in a single parent home. Wasn't my plan but it happened. I accept it.
Some lost a husband which made them single. What's to forgive?
@@melb1003 it’s okay, sweetheart. Your going to continue to be a great mom. Forgive yourself, practice at your own speed forgiving him for not being the man you needed him to be. Set your boundaries with yourself to protect your heart, but allow for your child to build a healthy, happy relationship with his/her father. Can’t go back and change that, now. All is well. Thru Christ all things are possible.
Moral of the story is you MUST learn and grow. Whether you had a child in marriage or out of wedlock. Your child is the main priority, period. A man can wait. Singleness is not a curse. Using this to remind myself to not loose my joy being desperate for love, and causing me to miss red flags.
Yea that’s true but how long you gone wait until your old and unattractive. Women gotta take motherhood and relationships more seriously don’t take it far as to sleep around raw it’s too many contraceptives to prevent these things. Do it right the first time
Nobody is perfect. Nobody will always get it right the first time.
Amen, truth.
Finished this entire video.
I will say, I don't view my children as a curse. I believe they are a blessing.
As much work as they are....they make life so much better.❤️
👏🏽I am with you on that sister! My son is the best unplanned event that could've ever happened to me. I had to stop being around female "friends" because they were suspect. It's women out here that will watch your son grow up and waiting for them to come into manhood. I want having it! He's 26 and amazing now.
@@LBoogy202 and it’s so creepy when older women scope out younger men. That is so weird to me.
Same! Love my babies and loving MYSELF! If TMH has someone whom HE created as my soulmate then so be it. If not, I'll be just fine🙂🙏🏽
@@mal1075 The children are not , but the ACT is and that sin will have its own consequences
I absolutely love the part where Tony says, I am going to raise my child with peace, with pleasure, with poise. Yes, Lord I receive this message in my life-in the name of Jesus Christ...Amen!
Single and divorced mother of 3 boys. After 5 years of being divorced, I'm still not ok with bringing someone I've met around my kids. Needless to say, nothing has been long term so I'm glad I made the choice not to bring temporary people around them. Although I sometimes wish for a good partner, I'll just continue to be single.
Ditto, and also divorced from a 10 year marriage(toxic), 3 boys now teenagers and 11 yrs Single Mom
@Priscilla they usually already have a new partner that's why most of the break ups happened. She may be new to the kids but she's not new to him. So he feels it's time for the kids to meet her because she's been around for a while.
@Priscilla I don't like it but there's nothing I can do about it. Men will do what they want and swear they're right. Most men don't like being alone so there's always woman after woman until they find the right one and as a result, the kids will see that happening. But, that doesn't have any impact on me wanting to bring multiple men around them. I'll continue to do as I have been.
You had 3 kids by a man.. actually your husband but you divorced him? Instead of working things through for the kids you thought of yourself? You deserve to be alone and single.. yuck
Amen! I feel the same way! I have such peace in my home....
Ladies with kids, I am a lawyer and this child abuse is not rare but common. When Tony talks about discretion most women do not have this level in dating. I pray for these kids.
So true!
This is why I’m not having sex until marriage. I don’t want to take the chance of being a single mom in the dating market.
@@CeCe-os3ul All Power And Glory To The Most High And Ancient Of Days.
Single mothers are dumb asses. Close your fucking legs and stop sharing your womb with men who don’t give a fuck about you and your offspring’s well-being.I HATE single mothers. They get in the way of happy endings with their burdensome, needy situation.
@@indigobricks7442 Get help and seek God..
Tony...I've never seen that look in your eyes before. You were so direct in this video. The Lord was speaking through you in this video. It is so good. Be blessed!
Agreed. It was eerie, but very powerful
@@rikkibreeden5233 hmmm... I wouldn't label it as eerie, because I wasn't frightened or didn't find it to be strange. I can tell the Lord was using him to give a direct or stern message. In addition, I'm glad we both enjoyed it. 🙂
Eerie doesn't necessarily mean scary or frightening. Just mysterious even supernatural. As you mentioned at that moment it really looked like the Lord was speaking through him.
Same thing I thought.
YESSSS!!! The Holy Spirit completely took over him!
Ok, ladies..I know I already commented but these stories are evil what these men are doing. I work for the military and the things women go through in their own home is unspeakable. We really have a serious problem. Instead of laying with these men, we need to be casting out demons. Honestly if you ask the Lord with a sincere open heart to come into the relationship and ask Him, "Lord, show me if this man is for me and my child, bring what is in the dark, out to the light." I promise you, HE WILL SHOW YOU! He never has failed me with that. ❤️ It's a hard question to ask, but it will save you pounds of heartache and consequences.
Truth‼️
If you have to ask...he isn't the one.
Amen!!!
@@thegreatconsciousnessrenai7221 That's not true, it's always good to still consult the Lord for His CONFIRMATION regardless of how "sure" or "confident" you may be in the man you're seeing.
I believe God just elevated you in the spirit for this message!!!!! You just knocked a legion of demons in the face 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
He certainly DID 🧡🕊
Especially when he said you got to knock that knight in shining armor in the head with a bottle and slap him with the Holy Bible 😭😭😂😂😂😂🙌🏿💯💯 All praises to the Most High
@@mixmickeymouzze right exactly 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭
@@NekeishaWise most people daddy daughter talks wasn’t coming with this type of heat (wisdom)
Don’t settle ladies. That’s why some men like to belittle you for being a single mom so you’ll lower standards. It’s plenty of good men who will still want you as a single mom but never settle!!!
𝕐𝔼𝕊
Exactly! I laugh at the things I hear!
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING ENLIGHTENING WORDS OF WISDOM! ALWAYS SETTLE FOR THE BEST! LET GOD HANDLE THE REST! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD GOT U COVERED! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD BLESS US ALL ! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! SMILE ALWAYS!( EVEN IN STORMS THAT U GO THRU!) PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! SEPT 2021
Thank you 💜
Wait what??? Any man who deals with a single mother will MOST DEFINITELY BE SETTLING for you😂 you say single moms should lower their standards well what should they do since the man they brought life into this world with didn’t want to be with you? Single moms that have children out of a product of sexual irresponsibility deserve to be alone
Single mom of 4...been struggling with accepting it. Watching single moms growing up including MY MOM... I told myself that I could never do this, that it was a FEAR of mine 😢😥 now here I am single sad and miserable! But I needed this message not because Im desperate for a man but I needed to HEAR Tony say that I need to ACCEPT the choices I made for my life and protect my babies because I did what I did to get them here!!! I have a chance to do better now and teach my babies the right way to do things. Thank you, thank you, thank you Tony for this POWERFUL message! I watched your "Develop in the Dark" Video too Smh It literally awakened my soul been watching it over and over again!
I am also struggling to accept, my child is 7. I just cry and pray.
I have been working on this message to you for a while now, I just want to say satan isn’t going to send a predator your way that you can sniff out from miles away. If he worked like that, no one would ever fall for it. When “something” happens an apology later can never remove the pain/trauma a predator has already inflicted. The person who violated me in my home was a good looking black man who women fell over themselves for, who could and did sweep all kinds of beautiful women off their feet including my mom(gorgeous woman). Guess what, he had a thing for girls…I was a SHY, obedient 15 year old. I experienced being touched before but never at home. His energy was off, so I was always fully dressed and around my mom or in my room when he visited. None of that mattered, I was moved away, my mom found out later it wasn’t my fault when she found pics in his phone of him with other young girls, then that he was touching someone else we knew. Protect your babies at all cost. Much love to you queen 💗.
Same. Pregnant with my first child and I feel so ashamed. It’s a tough battle for sure. Respect to you.
Still forgiving myself for this also. It’s definitely a journey. My pastor preached a message today about not believing the lies of the enemy. The enemy is the father of lies and often dresses his lie with a bit of the truth. For instance (for me) something he said to me that I believed was that it was my fault as why this happened and that I was to feel ashamed and guilty about it. But what’s real is although yes, I brought both my babies into this world, children are a blessing from God and if God did not want me to have them He could’ve have made me without..but God saw fit to bless me with them. And He has forgiven me with how I’ve brought them here and so it is time to move on, forgive ourselves and walk with our heads held high. Unashamed.
@@aliyah369 Congratulations on your pregnancy. Enjoy your pregnancy and don't be ashamed. That energy will go into your heart don't allow that. Take pictures while your pregnant enjoy eating your cravings. Embrace your new love that is now your baby. If people are being negative be around them less so you don't feel some type of way. Plan your pregnancy with the father if available or a good friend or family member who can be their for you to hear you and support your emotional roller-coaster lol. Plan your baby shower and look at childcare centers if you plan to have your baby in one. I been there and I use to feel the same way but when I had other children I decided nobody was going to have me to feel that way no more. Take your power back and enjoy your life with your baby on the way. Congratulations again!
As a single pregnant woman I am so grateful I came across this video now. This literally gave me chills! Thank you Tony! God bless you for being so straight forward and honest with us.
Same
Same here
He speaking facts!!!!!!! Wow. Man idunno who he preaching for. But I really hope they heed his wise words and warning. God's timing is best timing. God bless you Tony for sharing such a deep message.
This video is right on time . Not about the single motherhood for me but the fact that a man can secretly despise a woman and still be with her
It’s sad. I went through this with my ex. And he hated the fact I loved and adore my son’s and my son had to put hands on him because he hated our relationship and he knew I knew he wasn’t a good father to his own. Fast forward 2 years later. We are going strong without the clown
And they call us crazy 😒
Yes! And it’s in the Bible. The story of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah. Leah had several sons with Jacob but he never loved her.
@@LA-wv7gf I'm glad you were able to see it. A lot of guys are like that unfortunately. You have to listen how he talks about *other* women.
Was with a guy for years who, now that I look back, hated me. And all of his actions said that even tho his words said opposite.
Married to a man for 8 years. Had 2 kids prior. We had 5 together. He never loved my children or treated them like his own. Was mentally and emotionally abusive. Looking back I see that I didn’t know how to love myself. I thought I needed to be married to be happy. It’s not worth it! Never put a man before your children. Love yourself, and create a happy life for you and your children.
Wow, sorry you had to go through that.
If he didn’t love your children or treated them like his own why would you think it was a good idea to have kids with him??? I was raised by a single mother and my “mother” brought a man and he never acted like a father or a father figure... he was horrible, an assh*le to me and my “mother” would never say or do anything... she would always take his side and I feel so betrayed by her... I want nothing to do with her... I hate her... and she was toxic too, but society doesn’t like to talk about these mothers because society feels sorry for them and are always viewed as the victims when in reality the majority of them are the victims of their own choices... but props to the good single mothers who actually love their children and put them above anything or anyone... some women forget that they are mothers before they are women
@@eheheh3263 I’m sorry you had to go through that. Some mothers are blindsided and don’t even realize til it’s too late
@@TheDaniMilan Thank You. I’m doing great. these “mothers” know exactly what they’re doing, they sacrifice their kids... let them get mistreated by their men because if they say anything or do anything to defend them their men can walk away... and they don’t want that because they can’t pay the rent alone, they need his 50% to survive... so they act blind and deaf while their children get treated like crap because it’s convenient
Why would he love and treat children that he did not create as if they are his own?? You are DELUSIONAL. Your children were an exhausting burden. The world does no revolve around the idiotic, foolish decisions you made with your womb. The second you expect a new partner to orbit his existence around your dumb decision to create offspring with the wrong man is the moment you become a less valuable partner.
I have so much respect for single mothers., the ones that goes above and beyond to care for her kiddos. That’s a special lady and she should NEVER feel less than.
She IS less than. She has less time, energy, focus, resources, and availability to offer due to her illegitimate, out of wedlock child. Nobody grows up hoping and wishing to be a stepparent.
@Indigo Bricks Gone weirdo 😂
@@aliciawoods8925 ...👀 Do those two words put together actually make intellectual sense to you?? If you can’t handle the truth then maybe you should stay out of comment sections.
@ Indigo Bricks Go head on somewhere creep... go spread that hate that you have somewhere else.
@ Indigo Bricks Also, who are you to say that someone is less than?? If your mom was a single mom, would you feel like she was less than?
My problem is I ignored all the signs that slapped me in the face day 1, I even had conversation with God, and he said as long you stay knowing it ain’t right you’ll get everything you deserve and that’s exactly what happened. 3/12 years later and a child now he doesn’t even see his child say it’s easier to not have a relationship with her because he’s now back with his 1st BM, It is what it is never again tho! We cause a lot of our own pain by ignoring the signs from the start.
I did that a whole lot in a lot of my past bad and horrific relationships ignoring the early signs of red flags, but nevertheless you can't beat yourself up,we're all human being's looking for love however sometimes in all of the wrong places. The reason sometimes we ignore the early signs is because we want things to work out, we want to give the sorry ass men the benefit of the doubt until we're forced to accept and deal with the reality of things. Keep your head up and be encouraged.
Wisdom❤️
God wouldn't say that to you, thats not how he speaks.
This shit humbled me like a mf. Brought me to tears. Thank you Tony. I feel like I’ve been scolded by my older brother.
My goodness, I'm not a mother but loved this message. It was such a wake up call for me. Single mamas, you got this.. please know you are worthy of real love❤
Thankyou.
Unless they’re a widow or formerly divorced, single mothers should go to hell. They get in the way with the dumb, idiotic, foolish decisions they made with their womb.
Thank you, Ashley
Same here sis, it was such a beautiful message. I have the upmost respect for single mothers !!
Tony’s speaking the truth. I remember when I was between the ages of 12-14 and my mom and I moved in with this man and the day we moved in he showed his hatred towards me. He even told me once that “oh your mom will never leave me.” She eventually left when she really saw how he was, but it took her two years. They start off charming in the beginning. He was super charming in the beginning. Once you’re in their territory or they have you alone, the real them shows up.
@@kaleema1987 the crazy thing is it did NOT take long for that mask to fall off. It was literally the day we moved in with him and I gave his dogs too much food by accident and he went into a rage and called me a moron. At that moment I knew he was crazy.
Facts!!🙌🏽
The hatred stemmed from you being a non-stop, permanent reminder of a man who was in your mother’s bed. Giving your resources to another person’s child is an exhausting burden. That’s money that could be going into a retirement fund or vacation money yet is being used to feed and clothe a child he did not create. It is your mother’s fault for sharing her womb with the wrong men.
@@indigobricks7442 then he should've decided not to get with a woman with a child. He should've made better decisions.
@@ebrown86 Easier said than done. Lots of people find a soulmate and can’t stand their kid/the permanent reminder of their ex
I'm a single mother of four kids. Husband left to be with another woman who has 2 kids. When I tell you I was holding onto the wall hearing this message. I will definitely have to replay this a couple of times because this right here, has done something to me today. I feel empowered so going to need to get this feeling weekly. God bless you and your beautiful family Tony, big love to the Queen Sheree Gaskins (I hope I spelt it correctly)
Single mother of 2, not settling for a mess. I see women without kids dealing with more than I ever have. Men will use any excuse to justify not treating you like you deserve to be treated.
Word.
Nah sis, women without kids ain't pressed for men, they pressed for us
This is the best video I've seen. Love people that aren't afraid to speak the truth
It’s so hard to hear the truth, the ugly truth about the crap single mother’s are subjected to in the dating world. I was manipulated And let myself be, just wanted to be happy. The loneliness and fear of being alone is real, makes us compromise ourselves in the worst ways. Men see this and take advantage for sure. I wish i could meet myself 10 years ago and show myself this video. Thank you Tony
I do t know why but I don’t have fear of being alone at all been single for almost 12 years since I was pregnant and I feel fine, maybe because I watch a lot of crime shows/documentaries and many MANY times it is child murdered/abused/molested by step-father/boyfriend of an IDIOT who introduced them to her children…. And yes I know there are good stories yes but they are VERY rare and the woman usually was friends with the guy for a long time before they got together! This fear alone of someone I brought to the house, hurting my child making me feel absolutely positive about the decision not to date/see/introduce anyone to my child! P.S. we have no relationship at all with bio father.
Unfortunately this is so common! We have to forgive ourselves. I let my ex-fiancée feed me so much hope that it did as the scripture says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick”. I listened to him instead of judging his actions(once the facade went away). I finally found RC Blake’s, and I think the very first video was about my situation and I cried so hard. I have now come out of that relationship FULLY, focusing on the 3 B’s Tony tells us to, and I am loving myself so much more, I hope you are too!
I can relate I know very much well what you talking about
He is right on point it almost heppen to me and my daughter he was dateing me and seen my daughter and looked for her on Facebook and was trying to hit on but my daughter got on her phone and told me mom please leave that man alone he is no good so please listen to Tony🙏
Yes Mr Tony yell at us with conviction! We need it!
Thank you Brother Tony
As a single mom you just confirmed alot of concerns i have had about dating. I'm going to let someone go that i have not even met yet just was talking to them and signals went up real quick regarding my children. God just spoke to me through you.
Thank you
Praying for all the single moms❤️
you guys are so strong!
Ty
Thank you for this video, I am crying cause of your beautiful message and for caring for us women with kids that need direction. I grew up without my dad cause he passed away, my mom decided to NOT get married to protect me from any abuse, now that i think about it she sacrificed her love life for me and my well being. Now i have a 10 month kid and i am no loger with the babydaddy and i needed to hear this message for sure, so much wisdom THANK YOU!
“When you understand the attributes of God, then that’s when you going to understand this man.” TG
That last part Tony where you vented & said it’s not fair, mom in another state, he out, I’m stuck in the house… that’s so real. I used to sound just like that until one day I realized this is fully my child & I have to walk this thang out. God has his reasons for us having these kids full time. It is what it is. Can’t waste my energy lamenting on it. Great video.
Standing ovation for this video! Tony, I felt the Holy Spirit speaking through you. God bless you. These generational curses need to stop.
Same.
🥰🥰 yessssssssss
Ladies, please stop being thirsty and desperate. Sometimes you need to learn how to be by yourself and just love yourself.
A freakin men!!!!! I’ve been divorced and HAPPILY single for the past 3yrs! I WAS that woman that was desperate for a man for yrs!!! NOT ANYMORE THANK GOD!!!
@@cherika_skates Divorce 5 years and learning to accept this is my new life until my youngest is 18 took sometime but I’ll be okay
@Glamrocs good for you!!! Yes you will be just fine!
Amen I can really say I love being alone with my kids I lose no sleep I wake up happy yes I have my days where I’m crying but after that I’m happy
Smh…I so agree with you Tony! I never looked at it this way, but single mothers have to be extremely careful. As a single women I taught we had it rough, but God please bless these single moms out here! Discernment and common sense is a MUST! Keep talking the truth Tony😞🥲🙏🏿😇
Single momma of 3 over here (all from my ex husband). ❤️ thank you for sharing your knowledge. Glory to God.
Same here...Single mama of 3 all from my ex-husband. I sometimes wish for a partner but then again raising my kids is most important to me. I have absolutely no interest in bringing different men around them.
@@jocelynwilson9243 God bless you, momma! ❤️❤️❤️ It's not an easy place to be, but Glory to God for our blessings. ❤️
@@mal1075 Thank you!! Same to you...We shall overcome💕
You don't need the disclaimer.
@@P03ticJustice she made sure to throw that in 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Tony holding back pounds of tears in this video. This man is busting his butt, making tons of sacrifices, just for yall to spit in his face. So many of yall in these comments STILL went and slept with that toxic grown boy even after watching this video and commenting how much it "touched" you.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@Bill Kapri , I feel like you're some lame alpha male, hiding behind a fake page that you just made on September 1st 2021. You've left countless amounts of negative comments about women under Tony Gaskins videos, which is disgusting and weird. I'm sorry you're broke, I'm sorry you're third leg isn't big enough, I'm sorry that you're looks challenged, and I'm sorry that you're butt hurt about it. BUT Tony can help you !!!! Head over to GrownBoy University and get your life. We're rooting for you Bro 🙌
Single mom here and ready to learn 👏🏾 I also saw that question and was very confused she even had to ask if it was a red flag 🙈
This was one of the best single mother talks so far . By the way … I sent my BD your “the father you can be “ he cursed me out . Lol tickled me that he would be mad . Lol
Absolutely love this particular content. As a survivor of single motherhood, Tony is speaking thee Truth! God has kept me in protection, my son is now 19 (15 yrs I was a single mother) and I'm glad that I waited. His life and safely had to come above any needs I had for a relationship. It's hard word but it is possible. God knows what you need Exactly when you need it. Now that he is an adult there is a level of peace.
This has brought tears to my eyes... Thank youuuuuu so much for this sound wisdom and advice. I can’t wait for the zoom meeting!
Thank youuuuuu for your obedience. May God bless you
This was an awesome message. I am a single mom of 3, all to the same man. It’s hard I want love with a man but, I want healthy, happy and safe children far more. I am 100% ok with the decision I’ve made not to date at this time.
Thank you Tony…we needed this truth and tough love. Please follow through with the Zoom for single moms…..
This touched me and brought tears to my eyes in 2023. I’m ready to listen to God on this matter and embrace this season focusing on God and my children as a single mother.
This message is hitting home. As a single mom I have made the same poor decisions over and over again. My kids are a blessing and a lesson. I am single and focused on my kids. When God knows I am ready I will be blessed with a good God fearing/ loving man. Thank you for your message Tony. This message hurt but I accept it. Single moms please listen and take heed even if the truth hurts. I love all my single moms. Please keep being great moms and know God will send you a good man when it is your season and you have learned what you need to know to have a loving and awesome relationship with the man that is right for you and your family.
This is the video coaching u needed to hear because I’m tired of not having anyone around me so I have to find my own way for the sake of my kids but I know God got me at the end of the day singleness is a season. I learned from my divorced and know that God choice is peaceful and strength worthy
This video brought me to tears - I didn’t grow up with my Dad and I’ve been desperately searching for a good man but it’s not worth putting my own kids at risk because of my desperation. Thank you for saying and even yelling at single moms to wake up! This world is scarier than I ever imagined and every video I watch keeps opening my eyes. If God give me life to watch my little one grow up, I plan to have her watch all of Tony’s videos so she will be as prepared for the ugly truth of mankind.
The realest video ever! As a single mom, I fully accept my life as it is and am so focused on giving my daughter the best life I’m too distracted anyway lol. Being a single mom is not something I ever saw myself being but it didn’t stop my poor decisions. So when it I happened, I owned it and grew up immediately. Now my goal is to set my daughter up for greatness! If God decides to bless me with a husband, so be it! But I’m ok either way. She’s 4. I had her at 31. According to societal standards, I’m too old on top of having a child. So the pickings are extremely slim!🤣
So we’ll see what God has in store!
They’re only slim if you believe there are 😅
This video makes me want to stay single and childless…these stories are heartbreaking.
my deceased aunt use to say "don't even cut an onion for a man cause the ring will be as far as the moon." lol
Lol I love it👌🏾
Lol....like 👍
Lol wow now thats a 💎
Thanks for saying this 💖
I dont understand
I was sent to this channel just strolling!! I'm all in sir!! Thankyou God 🙏❤️
I agree 100%. As a single mother of one girl I chose not to date until my daughter was older. Even during her teenaged years I still never allowed men to meet my daughter or spend time in the home where I raise her. When and if I meet the man that God intends for me. People may think your being overly cautious or try to make u feel like an off ball for choosing to be single for that season but please ignore them. I’ll the right man him to my daughter after he has been fully vetted, tried and true. Thank you Tony for confirming what I knew was right.
Yes, my time is devoted to family and personal/career development. Im currently preparing for undergrad for Pre-Med and have 1 daughter, therefore dating is not even on my list of priorities. Also, men used to get mad at me because I never told them about my daughter.
In their mind they though you were childless but you hiding children they assumed you were trapping them with a child from another man or saw your dishonesty as a red flag.
You can’t just expect a man to be okay with a children they never expected to see while dating you. Maybe that man wasn’t ready for a child at that moment. You need to be honest and find out whether a man is okay with dating a single mom, considering the stigma that exists with this topic.
My dad never let no man stay at our house no matter if it was his brother/uncle/cousin and I remember my mom wanted her cousin to stay for a bit bc he had no place to stay at and my dad said absolutely not! Men know men! Thank you for sharing this Tony!
You definitely the right person for this & sarcastic and funny as heckkkkkk with it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I appreciate your work on all your platforms..the hardest part is the IG Q&As. Honestly, I felt sick. All sorts of emotions at once. My stomach hurt me last night. I got a headache with all the LDRs .I'm so glad you're here helping us. May the good Lord keep strengthening you. Be blessed.
This is the most POWERFUL MESSAGE IVE EVER HEARD!!!!!!! I’m in tears and I haven’t even had this experience. PROTECTIVE CUSTODY, amen. I feel like going back to church!!!
As a single mom of a 4 year old daughter…this is spot on. I’ve never brought any man around my daughter. Can’t just do what you want when you have kids. I’m only 40 mins through but your passion and conviction about this topic is evident! Thank you for all you do! Watching these vids and taking notes has blessed me tremendously! Ended a 12 year toxic ship with the BD, and going on 1 year of abstinence. None by my power but Jesus and seeking Him and on my face! None of your work is done in vain! Good bless you!!
Awesome
Exactly when you look back, you will realize that some one warned you, Gods blessings adds no sorrow, you can be a church girl for years and still be deceived if you don't pay attention, Beautiful message,
Thank you so much
By the time I turned 12, I always refused to sit on my father's laps. It did not matter what he said and he always thought there was something wrong with me. I tell the same thing to my daughter and I do not leave her alone with any man including her uncles! You are sooooo right. People are wicked and unless man's mind is renewed by the holy spirit , there is no way he won't seize an opportunity to satisfy himself!
It disgust me how much men are obsessed with satisfying themselves....
When Tony got to talking about "you don't have your favorite wine in you, your favorite pasta in you, your favorite shrimp scampi in you, your favorite movie on Netflix, haven't been touched in 6 months or 6 years " I was hollering 😭🤣🤣🤣🤣 like sir get out my life. My ex actually set all that up and I been abstinence for 3 years. Not today Satan.
This video broke my heart in pieces. I appreciate your truth and delivery. I thank God for using you to speak to us Queens. I appreciate the truth. God bless you and your family. I wish more black men had the mind Frame you have. Love, light and peace♥️💎🙏🏽
I loved this ... made me cry 😢.... I've been single by choice since I was pregnant with my daughter and she's 5 now ... I will not entertain a man unless God makes it clear that he's the one for me !!! Because all that you said is true , it's scary out here and as much as I want to be married one day, I will never want to jeopardize the life and innocence of my child !!! Period
Wow !!!! This is so deep . I had to catch my breath at times and pause the video . Just to catch my breath . But this message is so necessary for us single moms . 🙏
Children are a blessing from God. Thank the lord you have and can have one
My my my.... Tony Gaskins!!! On point ... every word nailed it!!! I bear witness with every word you’re saying!!! Truth!!! You really had me laughing in here... but boy oh boy... truths we can’t deny!!! God Bless you over and over and over again🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 I have the hugest smile on my face cause I’m feeling set free by this talk.... I’m looking forward to the Zoom catchup... Don’t forget some of us are in different countries now... would love to join the zoom .... thank you!!! Melbourne 🇦🇺
I respect Tony Gaskin for his truth ! 💯 I’m glad he owns up to his past & has changed his life around yet also admit that he’s not perfect. Main reason I always come back & watch his videos cause he’s raw 🔥
Preach Tony!! Let the truth be told, I thank God all my children are adults with families of their own, but I did wait till my children were old enough to be able to tell me if they were being touched or abused, then I dated. Praying for single mothers. 🙏🙏🙏
I pray that women become better decision makers, more emotional intelligence, and self love. 🙏🤎
The only option is to have no kids. I know several married women who's husband showed hes colours while pregnant. Its not about choices, it's about a certain type of man that exsists. So if you will never know until its too late, just don't have kids. According to this video, you have to protect your kids and that means not living your life.
@@antoniaadams2084 Exactly!!! I think its pure ignorance to think a single mother lacks emotional intelligence
Yes ma'am, healing is needed for sure
@@antoniaadams2084 facts! The compromise is Bigger. It's almost Luke the repayment of the soon yet still blessed because the lessons
Thank you for sharing this. I am a single mom I have been single totally for 7 years. I know God is protecting us I have to be grateful. These men.... As soon as you turn your back they are on the PROWL. They are baiting. They are manipulating. And they are SKILLED at gaining the trust of children.
Tony....yes you need to. Do more on this...im a single mom at 52 my daughter is 11 and I'm telling you this has helped me in so many ways.... You're never to old to learn....Thank you so much tony
Wow, what a powerful message. This was deep! Thank you.
Single Mom here.. I thank God for you and your channel Brother Tony!
“This man got to be hit over the head with a bottle of olive oil & a Holy Bible.” 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 I actually was listening to this around 4am this morning and was snickering as I was half sleep. Had to play it again.
As a soon to be single mom, pregnant by my ex bf who lied and said he had a vasectomy, you are 1000000000% correct about everything in this video. Especially the part about 30% in that makes all the ladies upset. I’m excited for this next chapter in my life to be a mom. I’m not looking for any man. Although I was deceived, I still made my choice and I am not mad at God at all. I’m going to get myself straight and have joy in the process. Thank you and keep keeping it real, the women need to hear this even if they don’t like it.
This is my game plan as a single mom:
-no sex until after the wedding reception (one year and 9 mo. abstinent so far) single & NOT looking😇
- no meeting my son until engaged
-no meeting his family until engaged
-no coming over to my house
-no overnight visits to either house
-no cheap house dates period
-no controlling behavior (check him early)
-no disrespect (check him early)
-no loud arguing / discussions only (check him early)
- no making me an option. I'm a priority.
- no profanity/ swearing
-no drinking / smoking/ nasty movies
- no 50/50 paying. My wallet doesn't exist around a man
- be independent and take care of my own bills and my household
- always look beautiful and well groomed
-no sex talk/language (slippery slope)
-listen more than I speak (gather data on him. Let him talk)
- keep firm and stern boundaries w my sons father (hold him accountable through the legal system. Not my stress anymore)
-keep leveling up financially and anyone who wants to be w me is gonna have to catch me on the way up🚀😘✌️
Took these notes
I advise meeting his family and friends prior to engagement. It is part of the vetting process. Don’t put too much weight on meeting them. Put weight on their character and if you see any discrepancies.
Noted! Thank you momma
How is this working for you? A year later?
If you’re tryna trap a brother just say that, you are not a virgin you have a whole child. A man should not have to abide by that long list of rules that you have HUMBLE yourself.
Thank you Mr. Tony for this! I needed to hear every word! The meantime is a weird place to be at times but it is for our good! God bless you!
I’ve always been very productive of my kids, no one gets to meet my kids because I’ve never been close to being engaged. Now I need to be more protective of myself. Sometimes we forget to protect ourselves.
This is an awsome message. This is a very needed message. I sent this to my 22 year old daughter she has a 8-month-old daughter...I appreciate you and your family. Thank you Mrs. Gaskins for sharing your husband with the world helping people. I know it's a sacrifice, thank you❤
I'm a single mom, and I don't put ANYTHING pass a man..no matter what position he holds. A woman told me I'm tripping when I told her I've never let my child father bathe her. Not even if I had a son. I once told an ex before he met my child, that if he looks at her in any wrong way, that's it for him,and I was with him three years before he met her. She was 6 by then. We got to keep our eyes and ears open when bringing people around our children. Constant Eyes/Ears On (C.E.E.O.)Be blessed.
True.
Did he know you had children we you first met?
I watched this video through twice yesterday and watched part of it a third time. You just changed my life Brother Gaskins. I have a 2 year old and planned on being married by next year when I’m 25. This video just let me know to wait another 34 mos before dating for my child sake. This is the consequence I have for choosing the wrong person to have a child with. I also agree that there should be at least one year of dating and vetting before a child is introduced to the partner. I’m prepared to do this, I love my daughters and never viewed things from this perspective. I was just talking to my daddy about this and he never viewed things from this perspective either and he is happy I am listening to your advice. I just shared the video with him because he is newly divorced and will likely be dating again soon and I have a young sister. I am so grateful for this. Thank you.
There are some “coaches” that advice men to never date single mothers. They demean these women and make them appear as if they’re less for having children from a relationship that didn’t work 🤦🏻♀️ (I’m a divorced mother).
They don’t realize that it’s best for these mothers (me) to be single than to be with the wrong person.
Yep.... coaches like Kevin Samuel's. Demeaning single mothers and leading men astray
Wow.. like wow!!! Like a lot of women are single moms because their spouse could have died naturally (in a sense) or been murdered... like Wow!!!!
And thats str8 up NARCISSISTIC of them so called Coaches...
The reality is that many men ended up getting used for their money as financial support for ungrateful, out of wedlock children and self-centered single mothers. The “package deal” means being treated like a second class citizen. I would advise any man to avoid dating single mothers unless their children are adults because they often think the world revolves around them and their mess.
@@eerynessential Most of them are single mothers because they couldn’t stop spreading their legs for the wrong man. Not because they reproduced in an honorable way, but because they were completely foolish and put their emotions and sexual needs before a solid plan for their offspring.
GOD put this message in My Ear today, Right on Time to silence the enemy 🎯🦅 You are appreciated TonyGaskins
I needed this am asingle mom to a 8year old : unfortunately here in kenya men don't see there kids nor pay child support they don't do anything we just do it by yourself it's hard but we survive by the grace Of GOD .am also taking care of my younger siblings its really a heavy burden may GOD continue to give us more favour its not easy at all.
Paying for you 👸🏾
@@telle895 thanks.
I receive this rich empowerment the more looking forward to s seminar because we desperately! Need it brother in Christ...🙏🏾🙏🏾👏👏💜
Tony, THANK YOU! Thank you for having the righteous boldness to stand up and speak nothing but the truth. Your messages and videos are truly impacting my life. I thank God for you and your family and the time you’re putting in for God’s people. God Bless You and your family!
Thank you Tony for this message…it’s an extremely important message that women need to hear….and its a serious reality check….you are imparting important wisdom.
Thanks for being so transparent. Great information !
Wow. This was an awesome message!!!!! I just finished the entire video. He touched on every emotion I've experienced being a single mother.
God bless you Tony. I felt your righteous indignation. God bless you 💯
THANK YOU SO MUCH for this video Tony Gaskins much needed to hear this I learned alot I took it all in I'm a single Mother of 2 kid's I'm about to watch your video again❤
Thanks for your honesty , you rock! You are literally saving lives here!
Thank u 4 this message Tony. God bless u 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾.
This was brilliant! lots of information i never really considered, so thankful for the insight as i’m always looking for new ways to be better and smarter for myself and my little girl as a newly single mom. this was perfect timing! i feel it’s only right to embrace this season of singleness and continue my self-love journey alone until my daughter is much older (she’ll be 2 soon)
Amen amen amen!! 🙏🏽 Thank you for this. ❤❤❤
Great delivery of this very needed message. 🙏🏽
“Keep that man out yo house til yo daughter out the house.” TG
My mother and I have lost any possibility of a relationship because of exactly this. She brought a vile pervert into my life, into my atmosphere and psyche. As a teen, he was licking his chops. I thank God every day for watching over me during my teenage years in that house. Single mothers do not understand. Bringing a man around your children is a tricky and dangerous thing.
Sadly even boys too
These stories are heart breaking. So many don't know what love really is.
Thank you so much! Truth, nothing but the truth. Be blessed, Mr. Gaskins.! Be blessed!