Time Markers 1:55 Habit 1: Listen attentively. 4:33 Habit 2: Restate accurately. 6:53 Habit 3: Observe closely. 10:29 Habit 4: Focus on what is good, noble, and beautiful . 12:27 Habit 5: Do your best - the first time and every time.
I wish she would have explained what to do if the children asked for me to repeat something. Also, what if the child didn’t understand what I said and asked for clarification or for it to be said or shown another way to be understood?
Since we began homeschooling two years ago I have wanted to enjoy a classical/ Charlotte Mason method but felt I wasn't capable of employing the method correctly. Finaly after using curriculum last year and this year I feel the confidence to break away from the " check mark a box" mindset and your videos have been such a blessing! Your explanations are simple and clear, each video is focused and direct and the joy of using this method can be seen in your presentations!! You are so talented! Thank you for sharing your knowledge!!
Thank you for this message. It was so very helpful, for children, and just general in life. I appreciate the adult examples, and how it can be applied.
I must admit I haven't been so good at instilling these My children are now 21,19,17 and 13 years old. I pray I can do better. Most curriculum have things,such as spelling words,three times.
To be fair if you are trying to memorize something (such as spelling or Bible verse) it is necessary to repeat it multiple times unless you have an eidetic memory. Being able to fully grasp a concept or what you were told is not the same as memorizing a sequence or passage.
What do I do with a four, five, and six-year-old when I have not been very good at not repeating myself so far. Especially with this being year one for the six-year-old. A video on where to start when you didn't start from the beginning would be so great! Thank you for these videos they are a big help!
Hi, stop repeating yourself. My mum always told me the Same thing over and over again and so it had the opposite effect. I didn't listen because I knew she would tell me numerous more times. Start by only saying positive things once, like if your child likes swimming, say only once... if you want to go swimming this morning go and pack your bag. This way they are being rewarded for listening, if they choose not to listen they 'missed' it. Soon they will learn to listen first time
As with any habit it is never too late to start this one! Think of it as forming the habit for yourself and your children of only saying something once! You may find this post helpful: simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-not-repeating-yourself/
Thank you very much for this video. I still confisud to use Charlotte Mason as my homescholing method. This video inspired me to try a smooth step habits for my children n ofourse me too😁 From Indonesia🤩
I absolutely love this. We have been homeschooling for 7 years, but this is our first year learning about the Charlotte Mason methods. So far, I've loved every part of it. However, I do have a question... You say not to repeat yourself, but I'm wondering how you teach this? I have a five year old. Let's say I get her attention, look directly into her eyes, and tell her, "Go put your pajamas in the laundry." She starts the journey, but gets sidetracked on the way there. Five minutes later, I notice her pajamas on the kitchen floor, beside her, while she's playing with a toy she found on the way. How do you handle this situation if you don't repeat yourself? This is my life right now....Even my older girls are guilty of similar behavior sometimes.
I have a 7 year old, a 4 year old, 2 year old and a 8 month old. One way I handle this is to make them do the task again if they get distracted. I don't know if that is the right way or not but it sure works. Initially it takes longer but pretty soon they get the idea. If I ask them to pick up the army men and they dilly dally or complain they now have to pick up the army men, dump them back out and do it again. If their job is to get dressed and i find them distracted . Then they have to get dressed, then undressed and dressed again. Also when they have to do it repeated number of times I try to stay there and make sure they are staying on task. My issue is that we have the problem with not giving best effort during math. Im not sure how to handle that,we keep our lesson to 10-15 min, but I feel like i am constantly having repeat the question to him or he gets the answer but then when he is repeating equation he sometimes forgets the original numbers.
Also I have found that praising and practicing help alot. If you praise the child when they dont get distracted it motivates them to do it again next time. As fas as practicing you can make a game/ race out it (i have boys so they love that) seeing who can obey the best and fastest or you can just prep them before hand. My 4 year old is very "scatterbrain" he is a bundle of energy and is definately struggles with getting distracted, but when I sit him down and say "I want to try very hard to go make your bed and not get distracted and when you come back we are going to go check the mail together". If he has a something he is working towards like that it helps. Sorry I rambled so much :)
I would start by going with your child when you give her the directive. Walk along beside her to help keep her on task, then once she is doing well with the habit, try to wean away your presence and use a timer instead. You might say something like, “Go put your pajamas in the hamper. You have two minutes.” That timer will help her stay on task. The other thing I would recommend is to have consequences ready. Consequences can be very powerful motivators when performing these new habits. So when you give her a task and it’s not seen through (you find those pajamas laying on the floor), go get her and bring her back and say something like, “You did not obey me.” And then stop and wait for her to figure out what it was that she did not do. You might also then apply a consequence since she did not obey right away, or the consequence might just be that you have brought her back from playing with the toy-she does not get to play with the toy because she did not put the pajamas in the hamper, and you might then add on another chore to do because she did not get the first one done in a timely manner. Consequences can be powerful motivation in forming good habits.
I just love these videos. So helpful, and such a great addition to reading the blog. Random question... I have always wanted to ask you about the 2 rings on your right hand? I am sure there is a special meaning behind them. 😀😀😀
The larger one is a modified African wedding ring that symbolizes how much I love black gospel music. Someone introduced Mahalia Jackson to me when I was a little girl, and I’ve loved traditional black gospel ever since. The smaller ring is an idea I got from the movie Camelot (the Richard Harris version). In that movie, Queen Guinevere wears a double ring: one over the top knuckle and one over the lower knuckle. I just thought it was beautiful. After I got married, my husband helped me search jewelry store after jewelry store to get me a double ring just for fun. Everybody said it couldn’t be done; I would have to wear a chain connecting the two rings so the smaller one wouldn’t fall off. But after a full day of searching, we walked into a jewelry shop and saw that the owner was wearing a double ring! Needless to say, she knew it could be done and put together the pair of rings I’ve worn for 35 years now.
I'm curious if you still suggest a rigorous rule of not repeating in special situations. I have one son that is severely adhd and struggles to slow down enough to grasp instructions on the first time. I also have a hard of hearing child that frequently doesn't hear all the words that were spoken. Also I am so enjoying your videos!
I too struggle with this concept for those who have ADHD or auditory processing disorders. I'm thinking the goal is to help provide your child with the tools necessary for listening that work best for the way their brain works. Those of us with ADHD are incredibly competent and capable of learning, we're just not taught in the best way that works for us. I also believe it's okay give our children grace in the areas where they struggle, and also teach them humility. Give them the confidence to say, "I have ADHD, sometimes listening is really hard for me, I value what you say, do you mind repeating yourself for me?"
Ma'am I think I haven't fully understood the last point. I mean in maths and even in language arts practice makes you perfect.. so how do you do your best the first time??
Charlotte Mason's method is radically different than what we are traditionally used to. Our society often times associates best effort and perfection to mean the same thing. Let's define both. Effort is an exertion of physical or mental power. Perfection can be defined as bringing to perfection or making flawless or faultless. As you can see, there is a difference between effort and perfection. Charlotte did not expect a child to be flawless or faultless. She recognized that often times repetition would be needed, as you noted. She did expect a child to put forth his best effort. He should come to the lesson (whether school lesson, habit, chore, etc.) ready to give the best of himself to his lesson. What best effort looks like for each individual will vary as we each have different strengths and weaknesses. It is our job, as a child's parent and teacher, to recognize what an individual's best effort may be. Some may excel in mathematics while others struggle despite their best efforts. Some children have a wonderful mastery of the English language while others struggle to put thought into word. There are those who seem to have a natural way with watercolor and paper while others, try as they might, cannot make the image they paint look like that which they see. Charlotte recognized and valued these differences in each one of us.
Hi, That is a great question. Here is another blog post with some great tips on not repeating yourself. simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-not-repeating-yourself/
Ms. Sonya, I have been looking at the Simply Charlotte Mason curriculum and was wondering how the Enrichment Studies book is reused for each year/grade without reiterating the same topics each year since the required resources are for one year. I know there is a second volume so would there only be a two year cycle ? thank you!
The Enrichment Studies lesson plans aren't meant to be a two-year cycle. We're working on more lesson plans that will use more resources. The reason more aren't out yet is because we are still publishing some of the resources that will be used in the next Enrichment Studies guide. While we're working on the next guide, you can find ideas for resources to use in a third and fourth year: simplycharlottemason.com/planning/curriculum-guide/enrichment-year-ideas-3/ simplycharlottemason.com/planning/curriculum-guide/enrichment-year-ideas-4/
It's never too late to instill good habits in yourself or your children. This article series might be helpful: simplycharlottemason.com/blog/series/habit-training/
I am wondering how 'only say it once' applies when going through the memory verses. The daily verse....do you just read it once each day untill they know it by heart?? Do you ask them to tell in their own words what the verses mean...or is it simply learning by heart? I want to introduce the scripture memory system to the women of our church here...but only just started with our own children.
How wonderful that you would like to start utilizing this system not only with your family but also with a group of ladies from your church! We've found that 1-2x a day of reciting the Scripture passage is enough because you will be repeating it daily. You can learn more here: simplycharlottemason.com/timesavers/memorysys/
My two littles have a hard time paying attention. In order to teach them to pay attention by not repeating myself (it'll take some time because that's what they're used to) how do I respond when they ask me to repeat? Particularly if I'm giving instructions?
Hi, There are a few things you can do while you're establishing this habit. 1. Make sure you are face to face with them and have their attention before you give the direction. 2. Break directions down into smaller steps until they are ready for longer directions. This post goes into more depth and has some great tips: simplycharlottemason.com/blog/working-on-attention-during-the-summer/ You may also find this post helpful: simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-not-repeating-yourself/
Not listening is definitely a bad habit that will need to be focused on. You will need to establish your expectations and consequences prior to having a discussion with your children about what your expectations are. Once you sit the kiddos down and tell them your expectations and share what some of the consequences will be (perhaps they have to redo a chore that they did not complete thoroughly, miss out on a fun activity because they did not listen to the instructions about getting ready for that activity, go to bed a bit earlier because perhaps they are tired and unable to listen, etc) then you will need to follow through with the consequences. It can be rough at first. As a busy Momma (SCM team member) raising kiddos from 7-17 with another baby on the way and a homestead, there are moments I want to throw the towel in and just say, "whatever," however throwing the towel in paves the way for bad habits and harder work for me in the future.
Eila Darling Look at Charlotte Masons answer on the lady who asked this question above! It’s very good. I tried to copy paste for you but it wouldn’t let me :)
Hi Thank you for joining us! This post has some helpful ideas on considerations to make sure we are creating the best possible learning environment for our children. simplycharlottemason.com/blog/setting-child-success-surroundings/ You may need to add in some additional supports such as a very predictable daily schedule, a written list, or visual cues to help your child progress through their day more independently without you having to prompt them along for every task. This post also has some helpful principles when thinking about scheduling your school day, length of assignments, etc. that you may find helpful. If your child's attention span is very short, you want to meet her where she is now and slowly expand on that. simplycharlottemason.com/blog/teach-the-child/
Time Markers
1:55 Habit 1: Listen attentively.
4:33 Habit 2: Restate accurately.
6:53 Habit 3: Observe closely.
10:29 Habit 4: Focus on what is good, noble, and beautiful
.
12:27 Habit 5: Do your best - the first time and every time.
Thank you
I hope you are speaking at the FPEA convention. Always a breath of fresh air for me!
I wish she would have explained what to do if the children asked for me to repeat something. Also, what if the child didn’t understand what I said and asked for clarification or for it to be said or shown another way to be understood?
Since we began homeschooling two years ago I have wanted to enjoy a classical/ Charlotte Mason method but felt I wasn't capable of employing the method correctly. Finaly after using curriculum last year and this year I feel the confidence to break away from the " check mark a box" mindset and your videos have been such a blessing! Your explanations are simple and clear, each video is focused and direct and the joy of using this method can be seen in your presentations!! You are so talented! Thank you for sharing your knowledge!!
I really need to work on not repeating myself. I feel like I repeat myself all day with my 3 year old.
Kristen Heuer ditto! I have a BUNCH of young ones (10, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2). First time obedience is the FIRST habit we (okay really me) are working on!
Yes same here
Another great episode. You are so easy to watch and listen to. Beautiful.
Thank you for this message. It was so very helpful, for children, and just general in life. I appreciate the adult examples, and how it can be applied.
So glad you found this video helpful!
What a great video. Listening and observation skills are so important. Thank you. I love your outfit.
Thank you for breaking this down. It's so applicable!
I must admit I haven't been so good at instilling these My children are now 21,19,17 and 13 years old. I pray I can do better. Most curriculum have things,such as spelling words,three times.
To be fair if you are trying to memorize something (such as spelling or Bible verse) it is necessary to repeat it multiple times unless you have an eidetic memory. Being able to fully grasp a concept or what you were told is not the same as memorizing a sequence or passage.
What do I do with a four, five, and six-year-old when I have not been very good at not repeating myself so far. Especially with this being year one for the six-year-old. A video on where to start when you didn't start from the beginning would be so great! Thank you for these videos they are a big help!
Hi, stop repeating yourself. My mum always told me the Same thing over and over again and so it had the opposite effect. I didn't listen because I knew she would tell me numerous more times.
Start by only saying positive things once, like if your child likes swimming, say only once... if you want to go swimming this morning go and pack your bag. This way they are being rewarded for listening, if they choose not to listen they 'missed' it.
Soon they will learn to listen first time
As with any habit it is never too late to start this one! Think of it as forming the habit for yourself and your children of only saying something once! You may find this post helpful:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-not-repeating-yourself/
Oh my goodness, the road example. 😂 I moved from Oklahoma to Tennessee and had EXACTLY the same problems. Took me a LOOOONG time to adjust.
Thank you so much for another uplifting video.
Going from Chicago to the suburbs some streets change as well. California changes to Dodge, Pulaski changes to Crawford, and many more
I am so grateful I found this channel....loads of love ❤️
Here in Tennessee the roads are the same way as you have described in your video😂
Thank you, I've really enjoyed this video. These are incredibly important life skills!
The roads are like that in MO as well, it's so frustrating.
Excellent video!! So helpful!!
I want to share it with the world!
I appreciate this and so many of your videos so much!
Your voice Sounds so beautiful!
Thank you very much for this video. I still confisud to use Charlotte Mason as my homescholing method.
This video inspired me to try a smooth step habits for my children n ofourse me too😁
From Indonesia🤩
I absolutely love this. We have been homeschooling for 7 years, but this is our first year learning about the Charlotte Mason methods. So far, I've loved every part of it. However, I do have a question...
You say not to repeat yourself, but I'm wondering how you teach this?
I have a five year old. Let's say I get her attention, look directly into her eyes, and tell her, "Go put your pajamas in the laundry." She starts the journey, but gets sidetracked on the way there. Five minutes later, I notice her pajamas on the kitchen floor, beside her, while she's playing with a toy she found on the way. How do you handle this situation if you don't repeat yourself? This is my life right now....Even my older girls are guilty of similar behavior sometimes.
I agree my situation too I hope we get a response 🤲
I was wondering about this as well. How do I get them to "remember" the task when I don't literally repeat it? 🤔
I have a 7 year old, a 4 year old, 2 year old and a 8 month old. One way I handle this is to make them do the task again if they get distracted. I don't know if that is the right way or not but it sure works. Initially it takes longer but pretty soon they get the idea.
If I ask them to pick up the army men and they dilly dally or complain they now have to pick up the army men, dump them back out and do it again. If their job is to get dressed and i find them distracted . Then they have to get dressed, then undressed and dressed again. Also when they have to do it repeated number of times I try to stay there and make sure they are staying on task.
My issue is that we have the problem with not giving best effort during math. Im not sure how to handle that,we keep our lesson to 10-15 min, but I feel like i am constantly having repeat the question to him or he gets the answer but then when he is repeating equation he sometimes forgets the original numbers.
Also I have found that praising and practicing help alot. If you praise the child when they dont get distracted it motivates them to do it again next time. As fas as practicing you can make a game/ race out it (i have boys so they love that) seeing who can obey the best and fastest or you can just prep them before hand. My 4 year old is very "scatterbrain" he is a bundle of energy and is definately struggles with getting distracted, but when I sit him down and say "I want to try very hard to go make your bed and not get distracted and when you come back we are going to go check the mail together". If he has a something he is working towards like that it helps. Sorry I rambled so much :)
I would start by going with your child when you give her the directive. Walk along beside her to help keep her on task, then once she is doing well with the habit, try to wean away your presence and use a timer instead. You might say something like, “Go put your pajamas in the hamper. You have two minutes.” That timer will help her stay on task.
The other thing I would recommend is to have consequences ready. Consequences can be very powerful motivators when performing these new habits. So when you give her a task and it’s not seen through (you find those pajamas laying on the floor), go get her and bring her back and say something like, “You did not obey me.” And then stop and wait for her to figure out what it was that she did not do. You might also then apply a consequence since she did not obey right away, or the consequence might just be that you have brought her back from playing with the toy-she does not get to play with the toy because she did not put the pajamas in the hamper, and you might then add on another chore to do because she did not get the first one done in a timely manner. Consequences can be powerful motivation in forming good habits.
I just love these videos. So helpful, and such a great addition to reading the blog.
Random question... I have always wanted to ask you about the 2 rings on your right hand? I am sure there is a special meaning behind them. 😀😀😀
The larger one is a modified African wedding ring that symbolizes how much I love black gospel music. Someone introduced Mahalia Jackson to me when I was a little girl, and I’ve loved traditional black gospel ever since. The smaller ring is an idea I got from the movie Camelot (the Richard Harris version). In that movie, Queen Guinevere wears a double ring: one over the top knuckle and one over the lower knuckle. I just thought it was beautiful. After I got married, my husband helped me search jewelry store after jewelry store to get me a double ring just for fun. Everybody said it couldn’t be done; I would have to wear a chain connecting the two rings so the smaller one wouldn’t fall off. But after a full day of searching, we walked into a jewelry shop and saw that the owner was wearing a double ring! Needless to say, she knew it could be done and put together the pair of rings I’ve worn for 35 years now.
Thanks for replying. I knew you would have a great story behind them. 😀😀😀
@@SimplyCharlotteMason wow.
Thank you!!
Great video. Just loved it!
I'm curious if you still suggest a rigorous rule of not repeating in special situations. I have one son that is severely adhd and struggles to slow down enough to grasp instructions on the first time. I also have a hard of hearing child that frequently doesn't hear all the words that were spoken. Also I am so enjoying your videos!
I too struggle with this concept for those who have ADHD or auditory processing disorders. I'm thinking the goal is to help provide your child with the tools necessary for listening that work best for the way their brain works. Those of us with ADHD are incredibly competent and capable of learning, we're just not taught in the best way that works for us.
I also believe it's okay give our children grace in the areas where they struggle, and also teach them humility. Give them the confidence to say, "I have ADHD, sometimes listening is really hard for me, I value what you say, do you mind repeating yourself for me?"
Ma'am I think I haven't fully understood the last point. I mean in maths and even in language arts practice makes you perfect.. so how do you do your best the first time??
Charlotte Mason's method is radically different than what we are traditionally used to. Our society often times associates best effort and perfection to mean the same thing. Let's define both. Effort is an exertion of physical or mental power. Perfection can be defined as bringing to perfection or making flawless or faultless.
As you can see, there is a difference between effort and perfection. Charlotte did not expect a child to be flawless or faultless. She recognized that often times repetition would be needed, as you noted. She did expect a child to put forth his best effort. He should come to the lesson (whether school lesson, habit, chore, etc.) ready to give the best of himself to his lesson. What best effort looks like for each individual will vary as we each have different strengths and weaknesses.
It is our job, as a child's parent and teacher, to recognize what an individual's best effort may be. Some may excel in mathematics while others struggle despite their best efforts. Some children have a wonderful mastery of the English language while others struggle to put thought into word. There are those who seem to have a natural way with watercolor and paper while others, try as they might, cannot make the image they paint look like that which they see. Charlotte recognized and valued these differences in each one of us.
Tq so much
Question. How does one best hold a child accountable for material that is said once? Are there examples I can use to motivate them ?
Hi, That is a great question. Here is another blog post with some great tips on not repeating yourself.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-not-repeating-yourself/
Ms. Sonya, I have been looking at the Simply Charlotte Mason curriculum and was wondering how the Enrichment Studies book is reused for each year/grade without reiterating the same topics each year since the required resources are for one year. I know there is a second volume so would there only be a two year cycle ? thank you!
The Enrichment Studies lesson plans aren't meant to be a two-year cycle. We're working on more lesson plans that will use more resources. The reason more aren't out yet is because we are still publishing some of the resources that will be used in the next Enrichment Studies guide.
While we're working on the next guide, you can find ideas for resources to use in a third and fourth year:
simplycharlottemason.com/planning/curriculum-guide/enrichment-year-ideas-3/
simplycharlottemason.com/planning/curriculum-guide/enrichment-year-ideas-4/
Simply Charlotte Mason ...Great, I'm so glad more volumes are going to be published!! Thank you very much for the response!
What if I can’t listen attentively myself?
It's never too late to instill good habits in yourself or your children. This article series might be helpful: simplycharlottemason.com/blog/series/habit-training/
I am wondering how 'only say it once' applies when going through the memory verses. The daily verse....do you just read it once each day untill they know it by heart?? Do you ask them to tell in their own words what the verses mean...or is it simply learning by heart? I want to introduce the scripture memory system to the women of our church here...but only just started with our own children.
How wonderful that you would like to start utilizing this system not only with your family but also with a group of ladies from your church! We've found that 1-2x a day of reciting the Scripture passage is enough because you will be repeating it daily. You can learn more here: simplycharlottemason.com/timesavers/memorysys/
My two littles have a hard time paying attention. In order to teach them to pay attention by not repeating myself (it'll take some time because that's what they're used to) how do I respond when they ask me to repeat? Particularly if I'm giving instructions?
Hi, There are a few things you can do while you're establishing this habit.
1. Make sure you are face to face with them and have their attention before you give the direction.
2. Break directions down into smaller steps until they are ready for longer directions.
This post goes into more depth and has some great tips:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/working-on-attention-during-the-summer/
You may also find this post helpful:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/your-questions-answered-not-repeating-yourself/
1. How would I get my child to listen the first time. They lose their ears as soon as I start talking
Not listening is definitely a bad habit that will need to be focused on. You will need to establish your expectations and consequences prior to having a discussion with your children about what your expectations are. Once you sit the kiddos down and tell them your expectations and share what some of the consequences will be (perhaps they have to redo a chore that they did not complete thoroughly, miss out on a fun activity because they did not listen to the instructions about getting ready for that activity, go to bed a bit earlier because perhaps they are tired and unable to listen, etc) then you will need to follow through with the consequences. It can be rough at first. As a busy Momma (SCM team member) raising kiddos from 7-17 with another baby on the way and a homestead, there are moments I want to throw the towel in and just say, "whatever," however throwing the towel in paves the way for bad habits and harder work for me in the future.
My child is severely ADD and if I never repeated myself, she would never hear anything I say, ever. lol
Any advice on this?
Eila Darling Look at Charlotte Masons answer on the lady who asked this question above! It’s very good. I tried to copy paste for you but it wouldn’t let me :)
Hi Thank you for joining us! This post has some helpful ideas on considerations to make sure we are creating the best possible learning environment for our children.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/setting-child-success-surroundings/
You may need to add in some additional supports such as a very predictable daily schedule, a written list, or visual cues to help your child progress through their day more independently without you having to prompt them along for every task.
This post also has some helpful principles when thinking about scheduling your school day, length of assignments, etc. that you may find helpful. If your child's attention span is very short, you want to meet her where she is now and slowly expand on that.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/teach-the-child/
I need to be a better listener….I tend to wonder off