Thankyou I’m 59 I just want to heal I haven’t been wealthy I tried therapy So therapists aren’t even healthy And when your poor There’s lots of weeds to walk through It’s been a long only life My goals now To love myself And protect myself from abusers instead of being bullied
Oh my. :( You're welcome! And I'm glad this could be of some help. The sad reality is that therapist's are human too and some should never work toward becoming a therapist because they aren't able to be that objectively and in a healthy fashion. These individuals hurt the field. But thank God there are more out there who are healthy and may be able to push you further.
Dr. T. You described my mom somewhat and definitely my psychopath sister who controlled my mother as we got older. I believe her jealousy of me drove her to marginalize me which lead me to go no contact 15 years ago. Through her smear campaign- every member of my family hates me.
Extremely sick dynamic. 😢 I stopped participating in the dysfunction. I learned to accept the reality. My focus is my mental health, and taking good care of myself. Extremely helpful topic, thank you!🙏🤗💕
All of the above is twisted into my family dynamic and intermittently I practice of the self preservation methods you teach/share. Holidays are very complicated yet I show up for my young grandchild who has endured much dysfunction on many levels at the hands of biological parents(Dad is my biological offspring). SOS in the child’s interest. Happy Holiday to you and may you stay blessed to continue “life leveling” work you so generously share.
Well said! You do have to "show up" for your grandchild and 🙏that's amazing. That's a good grandmother! And thank you so much! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family.
My stepmother and my sons stepmother have put me through all this hell. My stepmom was able to turn my father against me and I was forced to go no contact. He has made it abundantly clear who he is loyal to. I know it wasn’t just me because they did it to my siblings as well. I stood up for them a lot. However I found out within the last year they have all made amends and are all getting together for family get togethers and leaving me out. No one is standing up for me so I just cut them all off because it’s too painful. My sons stepmother tried to turn my son against me but he saw through it and he doesn’t speak to them anymore. His father never spoke up for either of us. After my son turned 18 we moved out of the city we grew up in to get away from all of them. It’s a lot better but I still need healing.
Holiday time is something I want to avoid because I do not want to be around my step dad or my sister and my mom that enables them. Now I’m just not participating anymore for my own mental health. This is the first year I’m like I’m sorry I’m not coming or celebrating holidays anymore.
I'm sorry. 😔 It's not something that is easy to do and never something I encourage. It's a painful resolution to a much deeper problem. Sometimes you have to use this "bandaid" approach to a toxic dynamic.
🤗Thank you!! I'm so glad to hear this. Sometimes those who experience trauma feel absolutely detached from the trauma which creates that need for validation sometimes. This may be what has happened to you. You can get past that need over time.
Well, that might be true depending on what kind of disorder, life experience, and genes we're dealing with. He may be talking about a small group of women or a specific group.
@TherapistTamaraHill maybe he said she can switch, depending on the circumstances. don't remember specifically, but it explains alot. tyfs , great video
Thanks tamara. I think like I have attended a county college course on psychopaths. You have clarified definitions I had a blurry understanding of. Keep up the good work!
Támara, you are such a sweet, considerate soul. Your kindness and professionalism is a real comfort to me right now. I feel like I can trust the steadiness of your gentle truthfulness. Thank you for all you do here. It really helps. Wishing you the very best in the New Year.
Thank you so much for this kind comment.🤗❤ I'm so grateful for the opportunity to connect with you all and provide a space to learn and grow. And I'm even more grateful to hear how my approach has been helpful. Come join me live Fridays/Saturdays 6:30pm est. I typically engage the audience and answer questions/comments. Peace be with you on this learning journey! Happy New Year!
Tamara, could you please talk more about how you handled the situation with the mother telling her daughter she was an inconvenience and she skipped her birth control? I'm a counselor in training and that situation....idk if I could've controlled my anger at the mother in that moment, unfortunately
Yes, that is a tough dynamic! Hurtful to hear too. Honestly, the way I handled that was I dismissed her mother to the waiting area after she made this comment. I worked with the daughter and tried to help her process this in the little time we had left in the session. I think emailed her mother to ask if she would attend a session without her daughter or could call me at another time to discuss what she had disclosed. Before both mother and daughter left, I encouraged her mother to reprocess what she had said and recommended she allow her daughter to either talk to her more about this or not talk at all. After what she said, I felt (at the time) her daughter should be in the driver seat on how to proceed. This is tough and you really have to know your client and pace yourself.
The aunt of the woman who wrote the book “ Mommy Dearest” wrote a book denying all this. I am shocked to say that a very solid and fair woman I know with a clinical background believes the aunts book that she read.
Agree. We're in need of many research studies. One important kind of research study is longitudinal which means that a researcher or research group follows the subject throughout the lifespan or for a certain duration of time to see how the subject is affected.
Thankyou I’m 59 I just want to heal I haven’t been wealthy I tried therapy So therapists aren’t even healthy And when your poor There’s lots of weeds to walk through It’s been a long only life My goals now To love myself And protect myself from abusers instead of being bullied And re train make sure I’m healthy and travel while I work I’ll never be able to retire I really appreciate your information I’m looking for my tribe Don’t trust Dad died He was my family rock Getting used to Just want you to know I sure appreciate you info I’m white Poor blue color One more time Thankyou I really do appreciate
🎉Hi, I’m not sure if you have ever seen the movie “ What happened to Baby Jane” but if you have, could you tell me if Jane aka Betty Davis in the movie is a psychopath? My sister has so many characteristics of Jane, being mean, controlling, abusive, tormenting, vindictive jealous, stalking me and constantly threaten to destroy my things. My mother was like this to me and now that she’s gone my sister has taken up where she left off. I believe my brother is a psychopath because of his anger issues. My sister will trigger him to take his anger out me, whether it’s verbally or physically, and then sit back and smirk. I know that no matter how far I get away from them, I will always be fearful because they both act, hell bent in destroying me one way or another. Not sure if it’s possible to have 2 siblings acting psychopathic, but it sure seems like it.
This sounds like such a complicated dynamic. I'm sorry you've had to experience this. I haven't seen that movie, no, but I'm sure you are on to something. Most of us can spot pathological behaviors in those closest to us. That doesn't mean that because the symptoms are similar that they deserve a label. It is possible that many of the behaviors in the movie are pointing to borderline personality or narcissistic personality traits. It's just not clear enough to tell for sure. But I do know it's likely a pathological problem, especially if it interferes with daily life and relationships.
family members trying to run me and my husband out of our home they have harmed us in more than 1 way or another it's old tried boundaries they are audio n other ways of stalking also saying cannot go anywhere in columbus if we cut ties??omg
I do, yes! I love the book by Dr. Peck People of the lie. In Sheep's Clothing is also a good one. And you may like Bonded to the abuser by Baker and Schneiderman.
Sometimes it's hard to believe the evil that some are capable of. Here I discuss this further: th-cam.com/users/liveBc2olotoyHY?si=fm2eNHF1FzWfTyZA
Thankyou
I’m 59
I just want to heal
I haven’t been wealthy
I tried therapy
So therapists aren’t even healthy
And when your poor
There’s lots of weeds to walk through
It’s been a long only life
My goals now
To love myself
And protect myself from abusers instead of being bullied
Oh my. :( You're welcome! And I'm glad this could be of some help. The sad reality is that therapist's are human too and some should never work toward becoming a therapist because they aren't able to be that objectively and in a healthy fashion. These individuals hurt the field. But thank God there are more out there who are healthy and may be able to push you further.
Dr. T. You described my mom somewhat and definitely my psychopath sister who controlled my mother as we got older. I believe her jealousy of me drove her to marginalize me which lead me to go no contact 15 years ago. Through her smear campaign- every member of my family hates me.
Thank you I’m praying for healing for all that have went through this and help the children. So sad that so many people have endured this evil.
Extremely sick dynamic. 😢 I stopped participating in the dysfunction. I learned to accept the reality. My focus is my mental health, and taking good care of myself. Extremely helpful topic, thank you!🙏🤗💕
You're welcome!! And that's a wonderful plan to continue on this path. Sometimes you just need to turn the lens to you and build yourself up.
Thankyou
My Mother was my abuser
And my Dad
Born 1965
Then daughter her father parent alienation
A lot of greiving
All of the above is twisted into my family dynamic and intermittently I practice of the self preservation methods you teach/share. Holidays are very complicated yet I show up for my young grandchild who has endured much dysfunction on many levels at the hands of biological parents(Dad is my biological offspring). SOS in the child’s interest.
Happy Holiday to you and may you stay blessed to continue “life leveling” work you so generously share.
Well said! You do have to "show up" for your grandchild and 🙏that's amazing. That's a good grandmother!
And thank you so much! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family.
This is the Winter Solstice 21st December.
Blessings
Take Care Of That Pretty Head Ma'am Grateful For This Community You've Created For Us To Authentically Feel Safe.
1:42:41 LoL Respect I Am Not Offended LoL Just Engaging These Subjects Within The Community 🤘💞💫💜
🤗You're great
My stepmother and my sons stepmother have put me through all this hell. My stepmom was able to turn my father against me and I was forced to go no contact. He has made it abundantly clear who he is loyal to. I know it wasn’t just me because they did it to my siblings as well. I stood up for them a lot. However I found out within the last year they have all made amends and are all getting together for family get togethers and leaving me out. No one is standing up for me so I just cut them all off because it’s too painful. My sons stepmother tried to turn my son against me but he saw through it and he doesn’t speak to them anymore. His father never spoke up for either of us. After my son turned 18 we moved out of the city we grew up in to get away from all of them. It’s a lot better but I still need healing.
Holiday time is something I want to avoid because I do not want to be around my step dad or my sister and my mom that enables them. Now I’m just not participating anymore for my own mental health. This is the first year I’m like I’m sorry I’m not coming or celebrating holidays anymore.
I'm sorry. 😔 It's not something that is easy to do and never something I encourage. It's a painful resolution to a much deeper problem. Sometimes you have to use this "bandaid" approach to a toxic dynamic.
First time listener to a full video here. Looking forward tothe next one on Self righteousness,
Welcome aboard! Glad to have you.
Tamara, you really are very talented and brilliant in your knowledge on the female psychopath. So articulate and spot on. Ty very much for your work.
Thank you! 😊And you're welcome. Years of seeing these characters helped. I'm glad we can exchange ideas on TH-cam. You guys teach me too!!
A really insightful stream Tamara…thank you I seem to need constant reinforcement of these facts because of the deep trauma bond
🤗Thank you!! I'm so glad to hear this.
Sometimes those who experience trauma feel absolutely detached from the trauma which creates that need for validation sometimes. This may be what has happened to you. You can get past that need over time.
sam vaknin says that the borderline woman flips between being borderline and psychopath back and fourth
Well, that might be true depending on what kind of disorder, life experience, and genes we're dealing with. He may be talking about a small group of women or a specific group.
@TherapistTamaraHill maybe he said she can switch, depending on the circumstances. don't remember specifically, but it explains alot. tyfs , great video
Thanks tamara. I think like I have attended a county college course on psychopaths. You have clarified definitions I had a blurry understanding of. Keep up the good work!
Támara, you are such a sweet, considerate soul. Your kindness and professionalism is a real comfort to me right now. I feel like I can trust the steadiness of your gentle truthfulness. Thank you for all you do here. It really helps. Wishing you the very best in the New Year.
Thank you so much for this kind comment.🤗❤ I'm so grateful for the opportunity to connect with you all and provide a space to learn and grow. And I'm even more grateful to hear how my approach has been helpful. Come join me live Fridays/Saturdays 6:30pm est. I typically engage the audience and answer questions/comments. Peace be with you on this learning journey!
Happy New Year!
Thank you Tamara- also the clinical and legal world and those providing mediation need a lot of training- the blinkers are on
You're welcome!!
Tamara, could you please talk more about how you handled the situation with the mother telling her daughter she was an inconvenience and she skipped her birth control? I'm a counselor in training and that situation....idk if I could've controlled my anger at the mother in that moment, unfortunately
Yes, that is a tough dynamic! Hurtful to hear too.
Honestly, the way I handled that was I dismissed her mother to the waiting area after she made this comment. I worked with the daughter and tried to help her process this in the little time we had left in the session. I think emailed her mother to ask if she would attend a session without her daughter or could call me at another time to discuss what she had disclosed. Before both mother and daughter left, I encouraged her mother to reprocess what she had said and recommended she allow her daughter to either talk to her more about this or not talk at all. After what she said, I felt (at the time) her daughter should be in the driver seat on how to proceed.
This is tough and you really have to know your client and pace yourself.
@TherapistTamaraHill thank you so much!
I'm dealing with the same thing as Orlando
As salaam aleikum & shalom.
As salaam aleikum & shalom 🙏
@@TherapistTamaraHill Peace be onto you. Just greeting you.
Thank you! Same to you.
You are so helpful. Thank you.
You are so welcome! And thank you. Always glad to provide support.
The aunt of the woman who wrote the book “ Mommy Dearest” wrote a book denying all this. I am shocked to say that a very solid and fair woman I know with a clinical background believes the aunts book that she read.
Sounds like an area that needs more study
Agree. We're in need of many research studies. One important kind of research study is longitudinal which means that a researcher or research group follows the subject throughout the lifespan or for a certain duration of time to see how the subject is affected.
Thankyou
I’m 59
I just want to heal
I haven’t been wealthy
I tried therapy
So therapists aren’t even healthy
And when your poor
There’s lots of weeds to walk through
It’s been a long only life
My goals now
To love myself
And protect myself from abusers instead of being bullied
And re train make sure I’m healthy and travel while I work
I’ll never be able to retire
I really appreciate your information
I’m looking for my tribe
Don’t trust
Dad died
He was my family rock
Getting used to
Just want you to know I sure appreciate you info
I’m white
Poor blue color
One more time
Thankyou
I really do appreciate
🎉Hi,
I’m not sure if you have ever seen the movie “ What happened to Baby Jane” but if you have, could you tell me if Jane aka Betty Davis in the movie is a psychopath? My sister has so many characteristics of Jane, being mean, controlling, abusive, tormenting, vindictive jealous, stalking me and constantly threaten to destroy my things. My mother was like this to me and now that she’s gone my sister has taken up where she left off.
I believe my brother is a psychopath because of his anger issues. My sister will trigger him to take his anger out me, whether it’s verbally or physically, and then sit back and smirk. I know that no matter how far I get away from them, I will always be fearful because they both act, hell bent in destroying me one way or another.
Not sure if it’s possible to have 2 siblings acting psychopathic, but it sure seems like it.
This sounds like such a complicated dynamic. I'm sorry you've had to experience this.
I haven't seen that movie, no, but I'm sure you are on to something. Most of us can spot pathological behaviors in those closest to us. That doesn't mean that because the symptoms are similar that they deserve a label. It is possible that many of the behaviors in the movie are pointing to borderline personality or narcissistic personality traits. It's just not clear enough to tell for sure. But I do know it's likely a pathological problem, especially if it interferes with daily life and relationships.
Jusg askicaus im confused, so is parental aliennation one step above scapegoating or does it play hand in hand?
family members trying to run me and my husband out of our home they have harmed us in more than 1 way or another it's old tried boundaries they are audio n other ways of stalking also saying cannot go anywhere in columbus if we cut ties??omg
Does Tamara have a suggestive reading list of books she recommends?
I do, yes! I love the book by Dr. Peck People of the lie. In Sheep's Clothing is also a good one. And you may like Bonded to the abuser by Baker and Schneiderman.
@TherapistTamaraHill I'll check them out. Thanks.