@@rexor7590 No one knows Weakling besides all of us aspies nor are their fans in any way shape or form unbearably obnoxious. Chances are, someone that likes Weakling probably just like all the usual extreme metal classics. OTOH Tool fanboys, very much like Dream Theater fanboys, will literally turn their nose up at anything dissonant or lofi.
My biggest poser story is a guy at a gas station who thought my satanic warmaster shirt was a ghost shirt lol. That man disrespected the whole country of Finland with that comment
Yo j-dawg, is it true you had a crush on Dave Mustaine back in high school until Eric told you ‘she’ wasn’t a girl? Is this why hells have a strict no gingers policy?
6:18-6:32 The dawg is fired up today haha *What do you mean, Cozy?* What I mean, bubbles, is that the dawg is in the mood to argue with the camera today goddamnit
Top ten for the kids 1. Dissection - Storm of the Lights Bane 2. Cannibal Corpse - Tomb of the Mutilated 3. Suffocation - Effigy of the Forgotten 4. Morbid Angel - Covenant 5. Darkthrone - Under a Funeral Moon 6. Gorgoroth - AMSG 7. Repulsion - Horrified 8. Nails - Abandon all Life 10. Brutal Truth - Extreme Conditions
Since everyone is sharing their poser stories, I’ll share two of mine. Both stories involve a young lady who was only into nu metal and deathcore trying to tell me about black metal. The first one was at a Lorna Shore concert before they got huge (Yes I attend poser shows to troll canoes), and she recommended me Man Must Die and some other shitty tech deathcore band as “black metal”. The other one had just discovered Mayhem and Darkthrone, but then proceeded to tell me she also likes Lorna Shore and Chelsea Grin when it comes to “black metal”. Finn McKenty and his consequences.
@@distributorovkvlt-points5481 Disagree, but to each their own brotown. We're not mindless sheep who have to like the same stuff, unless Death Metal Dave says so of course...
@@SuicidalGrind I'm gratified/relieved that you have fully grasped the significance of DEATH METAL DAVE's opinion bruh bruh. There's hope for you after all. Keep an ear open for Dave's latest and greatest Metal-to-the-bone-anti-poser proclamation from Hell! (aka Gary, Indiana)🤘🏻
@@Poser_Metal_Recordsyepyepyep! I just looked it up in the dawglish dictionary and it's in fact a spelling mistake on my behalf. Now feel like a fish in the spotlight with a hook in his mouth 🪝 🐟
He will listen to 10 seconds of the album whilst sitting on the shitter and tell us in two sentences how the album belongs to shitty death metal records and is nothing he would listen to "there's your review brah brah" 😂
Just spent the last 10 hours squatting over a bucket blasting Like an Everflowing Stream. The chronic diarrhea was rough but the soundtrack made the time fly by like a breeze.
@@oscarg212 It is great, but it doesn't dethrone yesterday's brilliance bruh bruh. Yesterday's bucket quote is the new background on my PC. _Fvckin'_ _love_ _it!_ 💩
I have two TOOL t-shirts, Lop's faaaaave. Tool was one of the first bands I got into as far as heavier music back in mid 2000's, way before I ventured into the death / black / thrash metal. Still it's a great music for me since I grew up with prog and hard rock, but I know Dawg doesn't like anything that's proggy, or anything really except Dio, Sabbath, Iron Maiden and then only extreme metal.
A former girlfriend of mine had an interesting Tool shirt. It was a fetus inside a skull,. It was a realistic fetus/skull which made for a very interesting piece of art. Different from the Mr. Grey paintings.
@@megatedassaultituary6783 You're out of the loop, everyone who knows at least something about prog knows that Tool is prog, at least from their second album, you can argue Undertow is just alternative rock, but the stuff after that is definitely prog, and every progger would agree. I haven't seen anyone say they are not prog, anyone who knows about prog at least, which you don't seem to know.
@@megatedassaultituary6783 That's your opinion, and Tool is hardly the most self-indulgent band around, look at Dream Theater and some of their self-indulgence there, and even 70s prog had that thing going on with like King Crimson, some of their stuff, and Tool has a unique sound, plus they still have very memorable catchy songs in my opinion, so idk I guess that's your opinion man, it's fine.
@@lopolik it was a bit too much, maybe if i'd gotten more zzzzzz's and had coffee first thing i would dug it more. Krisiun reissues on the way! as is my next HHR order \m/
@@Leave_The_Hall_69 It has all the classic Dawg moments though, Tape on that mouth shut, mmhmm yep yep yep, Dawg owns it of course, deer in the headlights, etc.
@@Leave_The_Hall_69 Well Poser Hall, for once I agree with you... I didn't even finish it. Dawg needs a stronger topic to sustain a video - one that's actually worth watching. But at least we got an up-date on the _KRISIUN_ reissues! \m/
J-Dawg getting that clandestine cardio up to Gaahl's evil mountain- top retreat(nothing gay about that, brah,brah)...gonna have a classick staring competition...Gaahl, wine goblet in hand, certainly no stranger to an icy staredown- showdown....J-Dawg grasping his Brotein shake mixer.......no blinking allowed and no wimpification...loser puts up a shot of manmilk......who ya got, Devils?!?!?
@@TimmyTurner421 Over 3 decades of reading rough and tough lyrical content, with the occasional scholarly muse, brah, brah....absorbing that mental nutrition...get that noggin JACKED AND STACKED 😈
11:41 the dawg puts this pink-panty pantera poser in his place. The dawg knows only one rough and tough metal fest is coming to Cleveland this year: sad summer fest brah brah
J-Dawg, dude, get this, I was screwing with a Ouijia board again, and I asked that burning question. "Who wants to ask me what is so great about Pantera"? Your name was spelled out. Well, I'll tell ya, old sport. Cowboys from Hell was the one record I overlooked for years. I revisited it and it was better than I remember a decade ago. It has the Black Sabbath-like riffs, the wailing solos of Judas Priest, the virtuoso showboating of Van Halen, the speed and aggressive drumming of Slayer and Metallica. It fucked my brains insane! Killer. What more could you ask for! Man, those dorks and limpdicks on deathmetalunderground know fuck all about good music!
Dawg, you're lookin' rather flabby and bloated 🍕🍔🍟 (yeah I know the camera adds 10 pounds, but this goes beyond that) I recommend that you hire Zack from the band OUTER HEAVEN on as your dietian and strength coach. But be careful Zack's known to hit the weights with a vengeance! 🔥💪🏻🔥
The very first time I ever heard Meshuggah - New Millennium Cyanide Christ AND saw that music video, it was a pretty big W T F moment for me lol. I have MySpace to thank for turning me into a Metalhead. Life was simpler in the 2000's eh?
@@lopolik I'll have to check that Demo out! I just remember seeing that New Millennium Cyanide Christ music video on MySpace, and it was a groundbreaking moment for me haha! For a couple months I had that one song on repeat!
Beginners Need to listen to Deeds of Flesh - Trading Pieces Bathory - Under the Sign of the Black Mark Mortician - House By the Cemetery Disgorge - Cranial Impalement Venom - At War With Satan Bitch - Be My Slave Cirith Ungol - King of the Dead Darkthrone - Under a Funeral Moon Cannibal Corpse - Butchered At Birth Sepultura - Schizophrenia Mercyful Fate - debut EP Kreator - Flag of Hate EP
@@corystafford4958 At 55 minutes I couldn't possibly consider watching all of it, not even fan of his. The NO scene has precisely 2 bands that I like (Exhorder and Abysmal Lord).
Yer also 50% Kvlt 💪🏻 Which is waaaaaay better than most Metalist's. Including all the Korn hoodie wearin' pooosers that live on your block. So in other words, Rejoice! You're halfway there bruh bruh.
Yepyepyep 🤘 To be honest i got a lot of canoe stuff on my shelves too...(sins of youth) 😅 including Korn and such...but hey the Kvlt stuff outweighs it by far so i'm good 👍
@@evilsil666 Why not sell your canoe stuff and at an inflated price to the dumb 12-year old down the street, who doesn't know any better bruh bruh. After that you could take your new cash and buy the entire Deathhammer discography.
Both are equally matched, dont break the oath i think was a perfection of their sound at the very end,and fatal michael denner really pushed his playing ,if you listen to the lead work you can tell he was trying to keep up with andy which i think made some of the best lead work by denner aswell as on abigail,and denner wrote some of his best riffs on fatal
Domain of death rules brood of evil,martin the vampire telepathic,terror and dr. gore are my favorite tracks its a crushing record and often overlooked in their catalogue
I think Primus is a good example of what the Dawg is talking about. I NEVER understand the appeal of that band. I find their music ridiculous and unlistenable.
Seems to me J-Dawg should invest in a home gym, being on Forbes top-tier Metalist Entrepreneur For 2024, and all...paidski's should be enough to get that poser-free pump emporium....J-Dawg got us all fooled with his tales of gym woe...
Rotting Christ's best song is Coronation of the Serpent. Non Serviam was boring to me-at first-now I feel differently; it's esoteric and emotive. Just my current thoughts. Better here than the cashier or something. Agreed? Some may say another song. Sakis Tolis is magnificent, but _especially_ with Thou Art Lord. This is apex Greek Black Metal-Eaosforos and Orgia Daemonicum are two of the best BM albums unmentioned. With about 10% to 20% Death Metal á la Morbid Angel. I implore you (but you should know already): Try the song Thou Art Lord - Hekate Unveiled. Atavistic, vicious 🔥
Ive never heard anyone say tool is heavy. Heavy does not equate to good, you know that right? if that were the case, mortician would be WAY more popular than Cannibal corpse.
Rocky Balboa. I think they made a bit of a mistake recruiting real professional boxers for these 2 movies though. I could understand the appeal obviously. In a real Boxing match Antonio Tarver would crush Carl Weathers, Mr T, or Dolph Lundgren. (Yes Dolph had a kickboxing background but that’s very different than pure boxing lol) The thing is, it’s Hollywood. You need people who can act and look the part. Carl Weathers, Mr T, and Dolph Lungdren were phenomenal and appealing. Antonio Tarver was a very solid boxer in real life, but he doesn’t have the look of a Rocky Balboa antagonist in my opinion lol. Actually got a picture with Tarver in 2016. . . Tommy Morrison sort of fitted the bill, but Rocky 5 just didn’t have a good plot. . . Rocky Balboa 2006 over Rocky 5 but they both fall tremendously short of the first 4
Yo Dwag I put a payski in 2 days ago and you never answered it. Getting that GB ducking the Dwag vibe and it’s not a question thats talking about a trash bag band like Tool. Hope to hear from you soon Brah Brah.
@@KaaiHawaiianDeathMetal Did you ever pick up the remastered CD of Golgotha? That albums SQ was drastically improved, especially the kick-drums, which before sounded muddy AF.
Mike Violate: "Distributorovkvltpoints has the humor and understanding that I think would help anyone wanting to have their metal business ventures articulated in a way that the other canoes can't do." J-Dawg: "What gives you that idea? In the comments, it's usually stupid shit he says." Lmfao! Dawg knows when there's a Bubbles in the comment section, and definitely knows he ain't HHR material brah brah.
Dear Sir, After careful review of your numerous lengthy essays, in which you excoriate the mighty Keeper/Distributor ov the Kvlt-Points. It has become evident to me and my esteemed colleagues, that several factual errors and insurmountable implausibility's exist within the context of your poorly formulized theories. Therefore plaudits I cannot give for this shoddy and substandard work. However, try and try again poooooooooooooooooooser! 🤣🤣🤘🏻 Best Regards, Eric Horval ( Chairman of the _Horval_ _Society_ _of_ _Anti-Poser_ _Activities_ )
@distributorovkvlt-points5481 LOL! Errors? Word for word brah brah. Go back and watch the video. Don't let your vag bleed. You're still alright in my book even though you're not HHR material.
@@TimmyTurner421 I agree - mainstream doesn’t necessarily equal shit . For comparison though you can’t compare tool to Krisiun - might as well be the Beatles or whatever .. just seems pointless to compare them to metal bands especially extreme and underground metal
I was listening to a metal radio station one day and a band came on; I thought "hey this is pretty good, kinda thrashy, kinda black, good production, decent riffs, I dig this, I wonder who it is?" I clicked on the tab and checked the player. Fucking Cradle of Filth Dawg! Oh man I had a good laugh. It was from that moment on I realized I need to drop my perceptions of bands and just listen for my self. tldr; One day I liked a Cuddle of Fluff song on accident.
@@EagleHeart19 shit. All that brutal slam crap has nothing on meshugga. Only a few bands that rival the shugg #1 portal #2 early cryptopsy #3 Nile #4 eyehategod #5 crowbar #6 primitive man #7 scour # 8 meth drinker #9 malevolent creation #10 black toung. Throw devorment and dismeboweld in even though they suck.
@@antimessiah666 it's a huge factor. For example death thrash is way more aggressive and energetic but that's not always the same as heavy. Imo extreme sludge doom is the heaviest stuff . Acid bath ,eyehategod, crowbar, primitive man, meth drinker, greif,corrupted, Conan, thou, Indian, electric wizard, konvent. Although I'd say portal is the heaviest band on earth by far and the darkest. Death metal, and black metal are more engaging and get your attention more.
Isaiah 25:8: "He will swallow up death forever. The sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The Lord has spoken"
Tool is the only band named after their fans.
You forgot about Weakling.
Awesome band! LOVE Tools discography
I heard someone say TOOL (and Primus among others) is "Penis music", whatever that is.
@@rexor7590
No one knows Weakling besides all of us aspies nor are their fans in any way shape or form unbearably obnoxious.
Chances are, someone that likes Weakling probably just like all the usual extreme metal classics.
OTOH Tool fanboys, very much like Dream Theater fanboys, will literally turn their nose up at anything dissonant or lofi.
Should have kept it as Quicksand..
My biggest poser story is a guy at a gas station who thought my satanic warmaster shirt was a ghost shirt lol. That man disrespected the whole country of Finland with that comment
midtanic fartmidster
@@Mudjuggernog bad take
whats heavier than radiohead brah brah
R.E.M. maybe
Americans
Multiple answers can be right
The Cranberries broski
@@cizmar1972 their song "Zombie" is a banger
Yo j-dawg, is it true you had a crush on Dave Mustaine back in high school until Eric told you ‘she’ wasn’t a girl? Is this why hells have a strict no gingers policy?
What😭
@@yuhcans203 Dawg's comment sections are forever ruined.
6:18-6:32 The dawg is fired up today haha *What do you mean, Cozy?* What I mean, bubbles, is that the dawg is in the mood to argue with the camera today goddamnit
Haha that was one of his funniest rants
Top ten for the kids
1. Dissection - Storm of the Lights Bane
2. Cannibal Corpse - Tomb of the Mutilated
3. Suffocation - Effigy of the Forgotten
4. Morbid Angel - Covenant
5. Darkthrone - Under a Funeral Moon
6. Gorgoroth - AMSG
7. Repulsion - Horrified
8. Nails - Abandon all Life
10. Brutal Truth - Extreme Conditions
The top 3 on that list would be:
1. Dissection
2. Brutal Truth
3. Morbid Angel
Since everyone is sharing their poser stories, I’ll share two of mine. Both stories involve a young lady who was only into nu metal and deathcore trying to tell me about black metal.
The first one was at a Lorna Shore concert before they got huge (Yes I attend poser shows to troll canoes), and she recommended me Man Must Die and some other shitty tech deathcore band as “black metal”.
The other one had just discovered Mayhem and Darkthrone, but then proceeded to tell me she also likes Lorna Shore and Chelsea Grin when it comes to “black metal”.
Finn McKenty and his consequences.
I'm late, the notification is getting 1 minute late for me, I am here for the PAAAAAAAAID questions devils.
Hello Lopolik 🤘🏻
Confession time, I actually like some Tool. Another confession is that they are the only concert I've literally fallen asleep at, not even joking.
It's the exact same story with me unironically.
What about Chevelle?
@@HamaChanCutter never heard of em
@@HamaChanCutter Never really listened to them brotown
All Kvlt-Points revoked, Metalist Card torn in half and flushed down the 🚽
About damn time we got back the Energized Dawg, today's video had me nearly on the floor in the first 10 minutes. MMMMHMMMM
Who would have thought THIS question set him off? Lol I just wanted his opinion on 10 great records to get my cousin started on that good shit!
@@alexspreservationsociety Well, for me it's no surprise. It's happened before XD
he had a better vid 2 days ago
@@distributorovkvlt-points5481 Disagree, but to each their own brotown. We're not mindless sheep who have to like the same stuff, unless Death Metal Dave says so of course...
@@SuicidalGrind I'm gratified/relieved that you have fully grasped the significance of DEATH METAL DAVE's opinion bruh bruh. There's hope for you after all. Keep an ear open for Dave's latest and greatest Metal-to-the-bone-anti-poser proclamation from Hell! (aka Gary, Indiana)🤘🏻
My truck is a 2019. No cd player. Most modern vehicles don't have one. No choice but to stream in the truck
True, the only modern vehicle that I know of that still comes with cd players is the subaru outback
Funny how the Dawg condems religion yet he treats metal like a religion. A true fanatic
*fanatical
@@Poser_Metal_Recordsyepyepyep! I just looked it up in the dawglish dictionary and it's in fact a spelling mistake on my behalf. Now feel like a fish in the spotlight with a hook in his mouth 🪝 🐟
If 50 of us donate 1 dollar we can get a Dream Theater review
He will listen to 10 seconds of the album whilst sitting on the shitter and tell us in two sentences how the album belongs to shitty death metal records and is nothing he would listen to "there's your review brah brah" 😂
Just spent the last 10 hours squatting over a bucket blasting Like an Everflowing Stream.
The chronic diarrhea was rough but the soundtrack made the time fly by like a breeze.
Indecent & Obscene!
@@robertg305 Massive Dumping Capacity
Scat Campaign
Distributor is going to have a field day with this one
@@oscarg212 It is great, but it doesn't dethrone yesterday's brilliance bruh bruh.
Yesterday's bucket quote is the new background on my PC. _Fvckin'_ _love_ _it!_ 💩
I have two TOOL t-shirts, Lop's faaaaave. Tool was one of the first bands I got into as far as heavier music back in mid 2000's, way before I ventured into the death / black / thrash metal. Still it's a great music for me since I grew up with prog and hard rock, but I know Dawg doesn't like anything that's proggy, or anything really except Dio, Sabbath, Iron Maiden and then only extreme metal.
Tool is cool. Korn and Slipknot, thats a diff story
@@elpeladorobles5013 Agreed.
A former girlfriend of mine had an interesting Tool shirt. It was a fetus inside a skull,. It was a realistic fetus/skull which made for a very interesting piece of art. Different from the Mr. Grey paintings.
@@megatedassaultituary6783 You're out of the loop, everyone who knows at least something about prog knows that Tool is prog, at least from their second album, you can argue Undertow is just alternative rock, but the stuff after that is definitely prog, and every progger would agree. I haven't seen anyone say they are not prog, anyone who knows about prog at least, which you don't seem to know.
@@megatedassaultituary6783 That's your opinion, and Tool is hardly the most self-indulgent band around, look at Dream Theater and some of their self-indulgence there, and even 70s prog had that thing going on with like King Crimson, some of their stuff, and Tool has a unique sound, plus they still have very memorable catchy songs in my opinion, so idk I guess that's your opinion man, it's fine.
Wait a second, @ 14:39 did Dawg just say his opinion was a *"humble"* one!?😄
He ''said it and meant it'' goddammit
I caught that too. That made me laugh when he said that.
@@evangilmore4394 Insane right!? No sense of self awareness. Dawg can argue with himself for days. lol
@@distributorovkvlt-points5481 Salespitching, Salespitching! that arguing always gets me.
@@lopolik it was a bit too much, maybe if i'd gotten more zzzzzz's and had coffee first thing i would dug it more. Krisiun reissues on the way! as is my next HHR order \m/
The only dude saying “what’s heavier than Tool?” should be a 13 year old barely getting into rock music
Pop music fans
Lopolik you better watch out and notice that title bro, dawg's comin at yo door 😄😁🤘🏾
already left some comments in the ''comment box'' for the Dawg to check bright and early in the morning as he says in the outro. lol
@@Leave_The_Hall_69 It has all the classic Dawg moments though, Tape on that mouth shut, mmhmm yep yep yep, Dawg owns it of course, deer in the headlights, etc.
Dawg's out of the loop on many music broskies, it's called dumboism (final stage)
@@Leave_The_Hall_69 Well Poser Hall, for once I agree with you... I didn't even finish it. Dawg needs a stronger topic to sustain a video - one that's actually worth watching. But at least we got an up-date on the _KRISIUN_ reissues! \m/
@@Leave_The_Hall_69 true, the Garth Brooks vs. Mariah Carey comment from Lipolic was still the best one. 😂
An Uber driver asked if my Slaughtercult shirt was Metallica.
I wish people like that would just not say anything at all.
Yo Sponge, when he said he wouldn’t cheat, did you take Gaahl’s wyrd for it, brah brah?
J-Dawg getting that clandestine cardio up to Gaahl's evil mountain- top retreat(nothing gay about that, brah,brah)...gonna have a classick staring competition...Gaahl, wine goblet in hand, certainly no stranger to an icy staredown- showdown....J-Dawg grasping his Brotein shake mixer.......no blinking allowed and no wimpification...loser puts up a shot of manmilk......who ya got, Devils?!?!?
A Gaahl For A Dawgboy
@@JasonSBashant-METAL666 how did you even come up with this brotown 🤨
😂😂
@@TimmyTurner421 Over 3 decades of reading rough and tough lyrical content, with the occasional scholarly muse, brah, brah....absorbing that mental nutrition...get that noggin JACKED AND STACKED 😈
11:41 the dawg puts this pink-panty pantera poser in his place. The dawg knows only one rough and tough metal fest is coming to Cleveland this year: sad summer fest brah brah
Top 10 records I would recommend to someone getting into metal:
1. Mercyful Fate - Don't Break The Oath
2. Candlemass - Epicus Doomicus Metallicus
3. Kreator - Pleasure To Kill
4. Sarcofago - I.N.R.I.
5. Bathory - Bathory
6. Rotting Christ - Thy Mighty Contract
7. Dismember - Like An Everflowing Stream
8. Grand Belial's Key - Mocking The Philanthropist
9. Immolation - Dawn of Possession
10. Pestilence - Consvming Impvlse
Never knew Vader covered Freezing Moon. I just had to pause this video and check it out. . . Sounded pretty epic!
Same here, I didn't even need to look what era it was I already knew it was Doc's era cause of those Litany kick samples.
It's definitely an amazing cover, i was surprised aswell when i heard it the first time
@@Leave_The_Hall_69 you should check out behemoth's cover, that sucked huge one imo
@Leave_The_Homeboy_69 I’m starting to think you’re even pickier than Dong Of The Dead lol
J-Dawg, my stereo in my truck is broken. I’m riding around with a Bluetooth speaker up front. I’m having to stream Haemorrhage.
J-Dawg, dude, get this, I was screwing with a Ouijia board again, and I asked that burning question. "Who wants to ask me what is so great about Pantera"? Your name was spelled out. Well, I'll tell ya, old sport. Cowboys from Hell was the one record I overlooked for years. I revisited it and it was better than I remember a decade ago. It has the Black Sabbath-like riffs, the wailing solos of Judas Priest, the virtuoso showboating of Van Halen, the speed and aggressive drumming of Slayer and Metallica. It fucked my brains insane! Killer. What more could you ask for! Man, those dorks and limpdicks on deathmetalunderground know fuck all about good music!
I like Pantera. Listened to "Far beyond Driven" for the first time recently. Pretty solid record broski
Dawg, you're lookin' rather flabby and bloated 🍕🍔🍟 (yeah I know the camera adds 10 pounds, but this goes beyond that) I recommend that you hire Zack from the band OUTER HEAVEN on as your dietian and strength coach. But be careful Zack's known to hit the weights with a vengeance! 🔥💪🏻🔥
Tldr
(11:20) I'm new here. Mansfield Ohio? The Mansfield Reformatory?
6:10 That really bothered him. Dawg had to get this off his chest. J-Dawg venting
Why was the guy smoking whilst on the leg press?
You always gotta get that smoke break in brah brah
Newports
What's heavier than Kiss!!!! Lick it up 🤘
There’s some bangers on that album goated
Creatures of the Night! 🤘🏻
HHR's Krisiun digi-book reissues shall soon occupy a place on the shelf, this I foretell.
@@Leave_The_Hall_69 lol Glad we're on the same page yet again! It's as if we were separated at birth. *THINK* *ABOUT* *IT!*
13:54 TAPEEE ON THAT MOUTH SHUT CANOE!!! Everyone knows “Enter the Eternal Hellfire” by Bathory is the greatest black metal song of all time
I love that song! It's kinda like Blood Fire Death part 1, it has a similar riff to ''Enter the Eternal Fire''.
Poser Alert 🚨! It’s Enter the Eternal Fire, not Hellfire
@@pwrdrive good catch! xD
@@pwrdrive yup yup yup BUBBLES moment
11:02 stop teasing Gaahl, if u want him, go to him. Love will find a way
"DAWG & GAAHL: A HEAVY METAL LOVE STORY" .. coming soon!
@@BabyfaceThompson facts bro,and let’s be honest Ghaahl is definitely his type 😉(no 🧢)
😂 like and share the video Devils
Ain't nothing heavier than DA TISH ☝️🤨
The very first time I ever heard Meshuggah - New Millennium Cyanide Christ AND saw that music video, it was a pretty big W T F moment for me lol. I have MySpace to thank for turning me into a Metalhead. Life was simpler in the 2000's eh?
I like their first demo (I Think it was) called ''Ejaculation of Salvation'' lol
@@lopolik I'll have to check that Demo out! I just remember seeing that New Millennium Cyanide Christ music video on MySpace, and it was a groundbreaking moment for me haha! For a couple months I had that one song on repeat!
@@robertg305 the Meshuggah - Bleed video is also legendary.
@@lopolik Yessir!
"Demiurge" is a song I like from them. I struggle with a lot of their music though. I tried many moons ago.
What about the "WHAT'S HEAVIER THAN RAMMENSTEIN?" Guys? I bump into alot of them.
Beginners Need to listen to
Deeds of Flesh - Trading Pieces
Bathory - Under the Sign of the Black Mark
Mortician - House By the Cemetery
Disgorge - Cranial Impalement
Venom - At War With Satan
Bitch - Be My Slave
Cirith Ungol - King of the Dead
Darkthrone - Under a Funeral Moon
Cannibal Corpse - Butchered At Birth
Sepultura - Schizophrenia
Mercyful Fate - debut EP
Kreator - Flag of Hate EP
I like how nana at the birthday party refers to him as Dawg
Anaal Nathrakh’s cover of De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas is so good. Check it if you haven’t.
Anaal Nathrakh overall are fucking underrated.
Definitely agree 👍💯
The Dawg thinking of his ten recommended albums to crush the newbie was a great way to end this video. Looked like the shrooms kicked in.
I don't understand why metal heads hate tool, it's not even metal it's like alternative, progressive type shit, I don't get the argument
Metalheads hate everything
Has anybody actually watched that vid titled THE LEGEND OF SETH PUTNAM?
In the thumbnail it says quote "the gayest musician ever".🤣🤣
Yeah, Putnam stories are usually entertaining, with a touch of, damn dude ?? WTF.!
@@corystafford4958 At 55 minutes I couldn't possibly consider watching all of it, not even fan of his.
The NO scene has precisely 2 bands that I like (Exhorder and Abysmal Lord).
@@distributorovkvlt-points5481 I never was a fan either. In my older age, looking back through TH-cam has been interesting though.
@@corystafford4958 ditto homie, YT's a treasure trove
Well he was a massive village people fan hint hint 😅😂😊
Yo sponge did you hear about the metal fest at the bubble bowl brah brah? I heard it’s gonna be 619 down with the mysterio
Who’s that jumping out the sky, brah brah?
@@steelstorm666 squidward in his peste noire speedo, hells homos approved of course.
Pretty rough, pretty tough, definitely should fit the bill
I wish my nana called me dawg!
Vader’s done a bunch of good covers
Heeeyyy broooo, I like the "sick shit" can I be in your club, DAWWWGG???
The "metalheads" at my gym never heard of Deicide. Weird, I always thought they were a mainstream band.
Cannibal Corpse the biggest, most popular death metal band and they're not even mainstream
Some Canoe tried telling me that when slipknot debuted they were the heaviest band in the world. Infester had already been around for years brah brah
At least i got 5 of the dawg's "essential" records in my collection 🥵 So that makes me 50 % "Metalist" 😂🤘
Yer also 50% Kvlt 💪🏻 Which is waaaaaay better than most Metalist's.
Including all the Korn hoodie wearin' pooosers that live on your block.
So in other words, Rejoice! You're halfway there bruh bruh.
Yepyepyep 🤘 To be honest i got a lot of canoe stuff on my shelves too...(sins of youth) 😅 including Korn and such...but hey the Kvlt stuff outweighs it by far so i'm good 👍
@@evilsil666 Why not sell your canoe stuff and at an inflated price to the dumb 12-year old down the street, who doesn't know any better bruh bruh. After that you could take your new cash and buy the entire Deathhammer discography.
I have 9 out of his 10. Just missing the Nunslaughter album
💿 ALBUM BATTLE: Mercyful Fate - Don’t Break the Oath (1984) Vs. King Diamond - Fatal Portrait (1986)
Mercyful Fate brah brah
Don't break the oath. But fatal Portrait is my fave king record 🤘🏾
Both are equally matched, dont break the oath i think was a perfection of their sound at the very end,and fatal michael denner really pushed his playing ,if you listen to the lead work you can tell he was trying to keep up with andy which i think made some of the best lead work by denner aswell as on abigail,and denner wrote some of his best riffs on fatal
Speaking of Incantation, what's your opinion on Disma?
What's heavier than Justine Dear & The Headlights?
The load after the D in the mouth!!
Mortician’s Domain of Death (2001) 🤘🏻💿💀
Domain of death rules brood of evil,martin the vampire telepathic,terror and dr. gore are my favorite tracks its a crushing record and often overlooked in their catalogue
@@GhoulishDave Will’s vocals are up to 11 on this and the programmed drums don’t sound so programmed on this one.
@@Riky_Jones i also agree,yeah the production quality improved especially compared to chainsaw dismemberment
@@GhoulishDave yes and oh good songs and lyrics on that one too.
Thank god for AI, so now I can listen to Mortician with Scott Stapp vocals instead of that growling shit.
Whoa! Coal chamber is better than Meshuggah?? Haha.
I gotta be honest i get drunk and jam disturbed korn crees all that good shit
Nickelback to?
@@oscarg212 sadly yeah thats after 12 deep
@@Sunkenbog Hamms beer and Budweiser aka Buttwiper will do that
Don't forget Godsmack and Sevendust
@@oscarg212 also System of a Down, Evanescence and the mighty Nightwish of course 🙌
I think Primus is a good example of what the Dawg is talking about. I NEVER understand the appeal of that band. I find their music ridiculous and unlistenable.
Tool are the ZZ Top of hard rock. They release the same fucking album every 10 years
Cannibal Corpse release the same album for 30 years
@@TimmyTurner421The Dawg's gonna be pissed when he reads this.
Seems to me J-Dawg should invest in a home gym, being on Forbes top-tier Metalist Entrepreneur For 2024, and all...paidski's should be enough to get that poser-free pump emporium....J-Dawg got us all fooled with his tales of gym woe...
Tool is an amazing band! Sends anything J-Dawg likes, has liked or will like home on a stretcher
@icankillbugs204ain’t that Radiohead, brah brah?
@@harryquinn493 Good shout brotown!
@icankillbugs204 cool Gorgoroth lyrics brah brah
cheers from UBRUXUM🍻
Rotting Christ's best song is Coronation of the Serpent. Non Serviam was boring to me-at first-now I feel differently; it's esoteric and emotive.
Just my current thoughts. Better here than the cashier or something.
Agreed? Some may say another song. Sakis Tolis is magnificent, but _especially_ with Thou Art Lord. This is apex Greek Black Metal-Eaosforos and Orgia Daemonicum are two of the best BM albums unmentioned. With about 10% to 20% Death Metal á la Morbid Angel.
I implore you (but you should know already): Try the song Thou Art Lord - Hekate Unveiled.
Atavistic, vicious 🔥
Well Devils, we got 10 sickbird albums and a 20 minute inspired rant from Dumbo. Totally worth the 20 bucks 😂😂😂
Ive never heard anyone say tool is heavy. Heavy does not equate to good, you know that right? if that were the case, mortician would be WAY more popular than Cannibal corpse.
Tool is an awesome band don't care what anyone says
Who the fuck thinks Tool is heavy?!
Nobody except pop music fans
I do. 😔
🎥 FILM BATTLE: Rocky V (1990) Vs. Rocky Balboa (2006)
Rocky Balboa, it was a way better way to wrap the series up then that side quest ass movie Rocky 5.
Rocky Balboa, 5 sucked, Rocky Balboa was a strong comeback
Rocky Balboa. I think they made a bit of a mistake recruiting real professional boxers for these 2 movies though. I could understand the appeal obviously. In a real Boxing match Antonio Tarver would crush Carl Weathers, Mr T, or Dolph Lundgren. (Yes Dolph had a kickboxing background but that’s very different than pure boxing lol) The thing is, it’s Hollywood. You need people who can act and look the part. Carl Weathers, Mr T, and Dolph Lungdren were phenomenal and appealing. Antonio Tarver was a very solid boxer in real life, but he doesn’t have the look of a Rocky Balboa antagonist in my opinion lol. Actually got a picture with Tarver in 2016. . . Tommy Morrison sort of fitted the bill, but Rocky 5 just didn’t have a good plot. . . Rocky Balboa 2006 over Rocky 5 but they both fall tremendously short of the first 4
@@robertg305agree
RockyV for me he loses everything its a relatable story and also out of the ordinary to end a movie series i love it!!!
The only tool i know is the one i use to fix stuff.. music is music 🎵🎶..
Yo Dwag I put a payski in 2 days ago and you never answered it. Getting that GB ducking the Dwag vibe and it’s not a question thats talking about a trash bag band like Tool. Hope to hear from you soon Brah Brah.
Takes him at least a week to get to them.
@@corystafford4958 oh Werd thanks for the info I was gonna say come on Dwag my question is waaaaaaaayyy better then taking about Tool haha
AJ? The fuck you doin'?
Canoes are badass, I’d rather call them kazoos
Anthrax bring the noise, I'm the Man 😎
Stiiiiiiiiiil no restock on esoteric hitlerism probs will never get that record . Damn shame
Try emailing him
I need hells to get some svolder in stock lmao
whats the best incantation album.. havent listened is much
Diabolical conquest brah brah
@@BrandonTerry-bv6uv thanks
Onward To Golgotha (1992) bruh bruh \m/
All three of those mentioned kick ass
@@KaaiHawaiianDeathMetal Did you ever pick up the remastered CD of Golgotha? That albums SQ was drastically improved, especially the kick-drums, which before sounded muddy AF.
What’s heavier than Weezer brah brah?
The guitar tone on that 1st album is sick brah brah truly a power pop masterpiece
We've been over this two days ago brotown. It was established that early Creed wipes the floor with those dorks.
@@Stevencattt The Stray Cats
Avant Garde
@@metall1983 The White Album represents real toughness and manliness brah brah
You're wastin my god damn time, don't ask me about my band shirt that you can't read brah brah 😆
😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 😹 great gym story \m/
Mike Violate:
"Distributorovkvltpoints has the humor and understanding that I think would help anyone wanting to have their metal business ventures articulated in a way that the other canoes can't do."
J-Dawg: "What gives you that idea? In the comments, it's usually stupid shit he says."
Lmfao!
Dawg knows when there's a Bubbles in the comment section, and definitely knows he ain't HHR material brah brah.
Distributor is one of the funniest commenters on this page imo.
@lopolik According to Jdawg, it's stupid shit.
Dear Sir,
After careful review of your numerous lengthy essays, in which you excoriate the mighty Keeper/Distributor ov the Kvlt-Points. It has become evident to me and my esteemed colleagues, that several factual errors and insurmountable implausibility's exist within the context of your poorly formulized theories. Therefore plaudits I cannot give for this shoddy and substandard work. However, try and try again poooooooooooooooooooser! 🤣🤣🤘🏻
Best Regards, Eric Horval ( Chairman of the _Horval_ _Society_ _of_ _Anti-Poser_ _Activities_ )
Solarempiresuomi would suck the dawg off if asked to. A true go getter of the Dawg House comment section.
@distributorovkvlt-points5481 LOL! Errors? Word for word brah brah. Go back and watch the video. Don't let your vag bleed. You're still alright in my book even though you're not HHR material.
Curious...just asking for my broski......is walking into the gym and staring at the jacked and stacked fellas referred to as the "Male Gayze"?
Check out CEREBRAL TURBULENCY "As Gravy" CD 1997 (Recorded Sept 1996). Sheer DeathGrind brutality from the Czech Republic, central Europe
Genesis by Job For A Cowboy is the only redeemable release from that band. Everything else is pandering trend bullshit.
Lunatic 😹
Band: Rotting, album Crushed is REAL Death Metal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Check it out!
Jimmy From The Block gets no credit? Damn..
Discharge By Death. Check it out, brotown!
15:26
A lot of these bands that get ragged on Tool , Ghost etc are good bands.
They’re not metal bands though
Rock, or prog in Tool’ s case.
Mainstream shit
Mainstream doesn't equal shit by default. Tool is mainstream and pretty damn solid. Great records
@@TimmyTurner421 I agree - mainstream doesn’t necessarily equal shit .
For comparison though you can’t compare tool to Krisiun - might as well be the Beatles or whatever .. just seems pointless to compare them to metal bands especially extreme and underground metal
I was listening to a metal radio station one day and a band came on; I thought "hey this is pretty good, kinda thrashy, kinda black, good production, decent riffs, I dig this, I wonder who it is?" I clicked on the tab and checked the player. Fucking Cradle of Filth Dawg! Oh man I had a good laugh. It was from that moment on I realized I need to drop my perceptions of bands and just listen for my self. tldr; One day I liked a Cuddle of Fluff song on accident.
Don't let Distributor catch sight of this. He might dock you some points.
I don’t like Meshuggah either but you’re lying to yourself if you say you’d pick Coal Chamber over them
Like them or not mesguggah is way heavier than most death metal. Chug chug chug jazz lead chug chug.
Maybe if you’re a gay furry and watch Loudwire
No it isn't. There are also plenty of death metal bands with chugga chug riffs that put Meshugga to shame.
@@EagleHeart19 shit. All that brutal slam crap has nothing on meshugga. Only a few bands that rival the shugg #1 portal #2 early cryptopsy #3 Nile #4 eyehategod #5 crowbar #6 primitive man #7 scour # 8 meth drinker #9 malevolent creation #10 black toung. Throw devorment and dismeboweld in even though they suck.
Lower pitch does not mean heavier
@@antimessiah666 it's a huge factor. For example death thrash is way more aggressive and energetic but that's not always the same as heavy. Imo extreme sludge doom is the heaviest stuff . Acid bath ,eyehategod, crowbar, primitive man, meth drinker, greif,corrupted, Conan, thou, Indian, electric wizard, konvent. Although I'd say portal is the heaviest band on earth by far and the darkest. Death metal, and black metal are more engaging and get your attention more.
Isaiah 25:8: "He will swallow up death forever. The sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The Lord has spoken"
"Each Nazarene I kill is one thorn more in the crown of their false savior. A king foresworn in a halo of flies." - Christhammer, Angelcorpse, 1998
@@TimmyTurner421 😂
@@TimmyTurner421 they have never killed one
Tool is just shitty prog, lol. I love plenty of non-heavy music, especially on the progressive end of the spectrum, but Tool just kind of sucks.
They put the dawg picture through a aging app. Showing what he’d look like old. 100% looks like Bill Belichick
Are there really any people out there thank genuinely think Tool are heavy?