0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize. Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube
I am not any different from any of your guest. I have my own debt but no where near the income of most of your guest. I to have a whole in my bucket and I am working on getting it patched up. That is why I didn't understand why you would promote a credit card to people who have issues with spending more than they have. Just curious. I have learned a lot from watching you and your guest and I will continue to watch and learn.
Maybe I should have worded my question differently. Saying "most of your listeners" was unfair of me. From what I see when watching your pod cast is that a lot of your guest have credit card debt as do most people. But my question was not directed to anyone but the host. It just seems to me poor taste to endorse a credit card. When you're trying to educate people on how better to manage their money. Also I thought pod cast were about talking getting involved and asking questions. I guess that depends on the question. ❤
While we can all agree that they have areas to improve on, that is of course the reason they came on the podcast. It takes an amazing sense of courage to put yourself out there for the world to see. I understand it is human nature to critique the decisions others make (and do it myself) but for anyone here to demean others is unacceptable. As if any of us don't have our own demons. I personally wouldn't have the courage to share every detail of my financial life with the world. I appreciate every one of these couples for the work they are doing to change their lives!
When I was three years old, my parents took me to Disney World. I don't remember a thing from that trip. (They took me twice more, when I was six and nine, and it was wonderful.) If you're looking to build lifelong travel memories for your children, you're not going to do it when they're three. But I get the sense that the Singapore trip was never for the children in the first place.
I agree. If the idea is really to have a break from work and spend time with your child, there are many ways to do that closer to home and much less expensively.
They could be millionaires, owning properties, businesses, etc. What is frightening is they are so caught up in what others are doing and where they are going. Debt freedom is so liberating because when you have focused and worked at becoming free you see things differently, you don’t care about comparing or competing with others. You do what’s within your means, what’s practical and reasonable. There is so much safety, security and happiness when this happens. Stay off of social media and looking at hyper consumers…you will be glad you did.
"Which society? Which society is pressuring you to go to Singapore?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Taking about booking a trip to Singapore 5 minutes after she mentions that just 2 months ago she feared not being able to afford a place to rent 🙄🤦🏼♀️
@@Dan16673 not necessarily qualify as insanity. Ramit proves that time and time again lol. Further to the point when she says society she means the pressure from commercials, her family and her very well off peers. its not as far-fetched as people who don't understand money psychology (you and LL-pq) think. we all bow to peer pressure to different degrees. She is a self-proclaimed motivated accomplisher type who saw her issues as a weakness AND she gets enabled by her father. she was bound to end up here feeling lost. Her identity is tied up to possessions and trips so the illusion and trying to maintain it got her in a bit of a pickle
Wait until your children are older, 7-9 then go to a big trip like that where they will remember it all. Thanks for sharing, we are all going through these similar struggles.
100%! With her 80-hour work weeks for the last 3 years, her 3 year-old would probably be much happier with snuggle time or playing in the park or hiking, not some long flights halfway around the world, then both parents exhausted from jet lag.
Getting a break from work, resting, and spending time with her child are all great ideas. Going to Singapore is probably not the best way to accomplish this. A three year old will not remember the trip, and it seems like it would be much harder taking a trip like that with a child that young. If rest and spending time with your children are the real goals, then there are many, many ways to do that which would be much cheaper and closer to home, and would be a better option with the children.
I have a suggestion - I understand her urge for vacation and I would say instead of refraining from taking any vacation strike a deal. Out of 2600$ save 600 per month for vacation and plan a little modest vacation and still pay off debt using 2k. Thereby she don’t have to wait for 3years to plan her next vacation, end up frustrated and plan an extravagant trip and going back on debt accumulation.
"Mo money mo problems." The way Ramit connected their exercise mindset to money was powerful stuff. Makes me wonder whats "easy" and whats "hard" in my life and see if its just mindset.
That's why I love watching these episodes. While I may not have the income/situation/etc. of all involved, each episode makes me take a look at my own decisions.
There's this saying in Med school and training that's often ignored: Doctors can buy anything, but they can't buy everything. Awesome if they, indeed, got some insight into this. Being an employed physician can burn you out in few years. Financial security may help her pivot her careers if she chooses to do so down the road.
So true, I‘m also a physician in Europe and our salary here is much lower than in the US. I certainly don’t feel that pressure to fly to Singapore tomorrow. I‘d rather save to be able to scale back when I‘m older. My kids won’t benefit from me getting a heart attack from being burned out…
Thank you to this kind couple for helping the rest of us nuckle heads! I appreciate the honesty and openness. You are doing a great service to your peers. Also, thanks to Ramit for creating this space.
Ramit- this is SO good. I love their vulnerability around spending & $ views. If you ever want to do a couple who started off rough, but are now in a very good place, lmk. I’m a therapist who owns a group practice, we adopted from Russia (which caused years of debt), but have changed our relationship with $, got educated, to the point I do a lot of financial counseling with my CEO, Dr. & Lawyer clients living paycheck to paycheck. It all comes down to getting knowledgeable, getting real & making small changes over time. We could’ve retired 4 yrs ago; but I love my job, & with Covid taking a toll on mental health, I feel there’s such a need for therapy.
Thanks for another great episode. You probably know the quote, "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." It's interesting to hear from all of these couples with issues, but I hope you can interview a couple that's nailing it and show us one amazing example to aspire to.
This was a really good one. What a lovely and clever couple - they will have an incredible life and their children will be that little bit older to enjoy it fully too. Slow and steady x
I traveled extensively before i had my son. I didn’t really go anywhere again except local trips until he was 6 or 7. Now we travel together and he remembers everything. Big expensive trips when the child is really young only benefit the adults
Stop spending money on credit cards! Your kids won't remember or appreciate trips until they are about 9 or 10 and over, believe me I know. I have two daughters that we wanted to do everything with and now they say, I don't remember that.
He’s only going to be 3 once 😅 like every age he’s only going to be every age once 😂 he’s only going to be 18 once maybe he would appreciate having wealthy parents then.
Doctors often suffer from the same hubris you see from a successful business person. They think that, since they are successful in one arena, they will be successful in anything they attempt. I have a rule to never go into business with a doctor. I've seen too many try to start businesses that were silly, poorly executed, or just not properly funded so they all failed.
@@valerimacdonald5146Understand the sentiment. But I don't think it's because they're successful in one area... the more education and expertise you have, the more you realize you don't know about other things. I think doctors suck at finances because they don't learn money management in training - they aren't taught finances in school, and aren't earning enough money in training to gain experience managing it. So they come out of training at almost 40 and start earning what most consider to be an astronomically high salary - the likelihood of mismanagement is high. It's very similar to the situation professional sports players fall into.
If you want your kids to have the best experience that they will remember wait until they're older...10+. My 27 YO son says he remembers very little of the trips we took prior to age 10+. It would be so much more productive for couples to sit down before and get real. I realize that that is one big reason they are doing this with you...they struggle with getting real with where they are with their finances. It's painful to see them struggle. I imagine that it must feel so gratifying to finally have a plan they can work on together. I wish young people would realize that no one care if you have furniture from West Elm or that you take big trips AND if they do, they do not truly care about you. Living within your means, investing whatever you can, and little to no debt is the only way to live a rich life. You are providing such an important gift for these families Ramit.
The best for the child is to live in a responsible family, which include having financial freedom. The goal I set myself is to join the top 1% financially within a set timeframe. With my self-motivation I had no doubt of achieving my goal, which I did. I am now working towards my new goal. Right now, Today, these people need to forget everything they have done up to now and start living as grown up responsible adults.
Christina was debt free with the same total gross incomes of both of them. That was when she earned less, so she spent less. Now that she earns more, she feels that she can spend more, ignoring the other monthly expenses she has. She expects her husband to cover those monthly expenses. She doesn't realise on $ 87,000 credit card, she is paying about $ 23,500/- interest a year I feel she doesn't care about the debt. She wants to travel to have a status in her social circle. Every holiday they go on, ONLY SHE ENJOYS, her husband is tense about the money spent & the repayment of the money. I Hope she is, able to absorb Ramit's guidance on reducing her spending & paying off her debts.
Love these videos. Learn a lot. Also appreciate these people's willingness to share their life stories with us. There are countless number of people in similar situation that don't talk about it. Host is also very attentive and engaging. Thanks for posting.
I know this is rare, but I do take advantage of 0% APR for X months. I've done it twice to buy large ticket items for the home. However, to avoid any interest charges, I auto deduct the same amount every month until the month the fees kick in then cancel the card.
i know how easy it is to get sucked into credit cards. happened to me too. 32:00 i think most of us need a wake up call when it comes to credit card debt!
median household income in America was $74,580 in 2022. However, if you remove the top earners, it's much less. I hope this doctor understands the population she will be helping and has compassion for their living situation.
It seems like they want everything at once. You cannot have lavish vacations, eat out all the time, buy nice cars, buy clothing, and save for house. Pick and choose what you value.
These convos are so real yet so unreal. It’s so helpful for people to talk through it and listen back now or years later will likely drive them crazy 😂 yet this is so familiar and I know friends who are going thru this exact thing
I know several doctors who speak the same exact way she does. You spend time through training, and once you get out it's the yellow brick road. It's a scary path because doctors are talented, but fail to see humility. I appreciate her for coming on, but some of these short term fixes can become a nightmare in the future.
Super small detail, but she mentioned expensive furniture from West Elm. When I moved last year, I needed a sofa, my previous one had been $800. Looked at local stores for something similar and it was going to be $2500, maybe $2100 with labor day deals (+ taxes/delivery charges). I know, inflation, but the prices seemed crazy to me. And all the items I saw I didn't even really like. West Elm is even more expensive. I also saw at some stores "open our credit card and get 0% financing for 72 months!" People are literally taking out "car loans" to get furniture. Anyway, I found a labor day deal at a store I knew a few states away (with 0% sales tax) and got a couch I ended up loving for around $900. Burned some miles to fly up, rented an SUV and drove it down the east coast. Still saved tons of money doing that. Part of this was lack of supply near me (supply chain issues) and part of it was finance, but so many of these furniture stores charge prices that are just out of this world. And yes, the couch I got is just as nice (or nicer) as the more expensive ones I looked at. And the store I got it from likely has my future business. Price is a silly game where people look to buy the more expensive thing because they assume high price = superior quality. This is often a convenient filter, but not always. I also don't buy quite as much furniture as a lot of people. It really weighs you down when you need to move. Moving it is expensive, storing it is expensive. Plus a lot of people just have such cluttered homes because they buy too much.
@@sarthipatel6868 raymour & flanigan. I forgot to mention a lot of stores near me were saying 6+ month delivery. which likely means you buy it, they never deliver, too late for chargebacks (I verified this is a common story unfortunately via yelp reviews of local stores too). was able to pick up from R&F pretty quickly.
West Elm is overpriced. If it's on clearance, it's okay but full price is way too much for what you get. Most of my apartment is West Elm because it was the cheapest that's passable for me but some of it is really low quality. My sofa is Room & Board because West Elm has poorer reputation for sofas and you want a sofa to last (if you don't have kids or pets who will trash it anyway). West Elm is the Millennial step up from IKEA but don't buy too much of it. Save for fewer, higher quality pieces and try to only buy things that are on clearance (my sofa was like $1000 off and was close enough to the one I wanted). Once I get my money better together, I'll pass the West Elm stuff on and get more Room & Board and maybe even local custom stuff or antiques (I had an empty apartment I wanted to fill quickly, which was a poor financial decision).
The baby won’t remember the trip, it’s better the plan for the future for you and your family. Financial security matters for your children’s sense of security within the home. Thank you teaching is all about our emotions associated with money.
38:41 Pay close attention to what she says here. She started to say “we will have money in the future” and then corrected herself to say “I will have money in the future.” If you think her husband didn’t pick up on that you’re wrong. He knows she has him be the short and curly’s. This is an interesting study in power dynamics.
My wife and I had the exact opposite mentality as these two. I'm earning 120k and she has graduated with her M.S. RN. So our income is doubling. We cash flowed her education, while paying off other debt incured from helping with a loved one's medicine care, when she starts working we'll be down to $25k debt except our mortgage. Our goal is to pay off the remaining debt before the end of the year and wipe out our mortgage in 2-3 years. Then we'll be debt free with a solid 160k net cash flow, plus our Employer matched retirement investments. Our last step is to supercharge our investments and set aside cash for purchases/lifestyle improvements. We want to take multiple international vacations a year and start investing in rental properties.
I dont think she has the same respect for his man when she started making much more than him..and he does not feel good about it..She even considers his six figures has almost nothing... I expected more intelligence from a doctor not planning 25k trips with no saving... godness me !!
I would love to see future prgoress of this couples finances after they have been through the programme. Having the courage to open up on here alone shoes they care and want to commit.
To each his own. I'm a boomer and I budget my travels to $1500, whatever that may take me. $1500, all included. I splurged in 2022 for a month in La Paz, B.C., $2100, rent in a tiny bit cozy apartment included. I hope this couple come out on top, and everybody for that matter.
My silent generation, blue collar dad lived frugally. He is comfortable retired now. The man still wears pants from the 80s. However, as kids and today, when he travels…he does not penny pinch. His philosophy is that I don’t spend elsewhere to spend here. Same with my bro, he is really well off, he bucked the peer pressure to join a country club. He bought a beach house and takes one blow out trip per year. He also is not a shopper. His wife is not a shopper. Priorities. Earning it and keeping it are two different skills.
@@Galworld761 That is exactly what I do, in a minor way. I pick my spending battles, hardly ever eating out, cooking most of my meals. I spend my money on concerts because live music is my thing.
What a tragedy and a loss of resources from a lack of financial planning. It’s surly a wake up call for all of us. Live below our means, or be paying it all off when we are older. It will be taking away from my future and from my kids future if they continue on this way.
I am a resident and you cannot afford anything if you have children living in la on a residents salary. Most residents do not accumulate this type of debt durung residency. We all work 80 hours a week !
Don't travel anywhere. Don't leave the house until the debt is paid off.. How can you ever consider travelling anywhere with that crippling debt hanging over you? Cut up your credit cards. Don't send your kids on guilt trips all over the place. Little kids just want cuddles and listening and affection, not trips to Singapore.. That's just off loading guilt
Your kids not gonna remember the expensive holidays. Theyre gonna remember not having friends because they gotta move houses every year. The things ppldont think abour, seriously. Put yourself in your kids‘ shoes. Would you rather grow up with forgotten holidays or growing up in a house with no money fights. 55:13
I think that its common for at least one person in a marriage to be oblivious of the concept of money or not understand the value of a dollar. I think in this situation, that person is Christina.
All my experience and studies into relationships and finances leads me to believe never commit to or marry a “spender.” At least she is a big earner but it still seems miserable. I couldn’t imagine being the earner and the saver… a life of slavery and anxiety; no thanks. Edit: After listening further… both of these people are banned from credit cards. They need the Dave Ramsey system.
Hey Ramit ! you are soo good at listening and tolerant 😄you got to the point with this couple ..amazing job how you helped them make the connection between their discipline to exercise and non discipline to money matters👍
Ramit, Love this program! Please consider adding single people, maybe once a quarter? Your show is the only program that does a deep dive and would be helpful to see also for single people. I'm single so yes my request is self serving. haha
I really feel for Jack. Of the two of them, he stands the better chance of managing the finances well, but he can't withstand her pressuring, and he will have even less power to call the shots and get things under control once her salary climbs even higher. He was basically stuck watching the situation get worse and worse. Hopefully the changes they made in the follow up stuck, and they're doing a lot better now, but I think it was rightfully mentioned that the spending was the pressure valve that releases steam to keep the job pressures under control (but also probably the daily workouts and healthy lifestyle are probably even more pressure on top of the work). The concern would be that they need some sort of pressure valve to keep their work output where it is now, and if that goes away, the problem will spill out elsewhere. However, this is a finance and lifestyle podcast, not a psychology one.
25:06 He isn’t comfortable with it in the slightest. Listen to the way he stumbled through his answer. He’s scared to death of that woman. She’s making the money, she’s a spender, if he tries to stop the slide, she’ll toss him out on the street.
She should be shameful to blame her spending on her kids. My kid at three enjoyed more his time with me playing ball at the backyard than our trip to Cancun......
$300,000 and might live in a car...my goodness....I pay rent first thing out of my pay cheque because it is the biggest expense. I make $40,000 a year and have $5000 in debt which is getting paid off every month a bit at a time. Sure...no kids and single but 48 years old and do not have a car. There are ways to not have to live in your car and if you make $300,000 I really really don't understand how people can't make that work. If I made $300,000...I would consider myself super super super rich! You're living way beyond your means...it's not complicated to manage money!
Serious question: Can someone like Christina, who’s been a spender her whole life, actually change? I don’t mean a few months or a year, I mean long term? It’s extremely difficult and I find it not possible, the constant struggle to fight yourself to not go back to your default behavior, you will eventually give in
I find it limiting to say bad behavior is just a default or "that's just how I am." Change is possible if you commit to it. Before you know it, good habits will be your new default.
I think so. If they find a saving strategy that fits their lifestyle where they can save and still enjoy their money, I think it possible. I say this from my own experience.
11:25 “I want to give my 3 year old the best that I can” (that she Can afford” LADY you can’t afford anything that cost. I literally take my daughter (3 and 1 years old) to the same 2-3 parks every single day. It’s free besides gas. It’s fun. It’s spending time with them, it’s quality. I bet my 3 year old is more impacted by the same boring park everyday than any Singapore trip you can put on credit.
Have either one of you thought what happens if one of you should die? I used to work in the funeral industry, and people of ALL ages die for no apparent reason....people don't have to be ill to pass away. You of course should've be where you are at, but to depend on each others income only adds fuel to the fire.
The problem here is entitlement based on keeping up appearances...if they are worried about where they are going to live then vacations are a pipe dream. I wish them the best but they have to get over titles and make a plan for money and debt.
i really loved christina’s follow up. i feel like a lot of the comments are jumping quickly to judging her but she was so receptive to everything jack and ramit were saying, even taking notes and committing to making sacrifices. i wish the best for this couple! thanks for being brave enough to share your financial situation with the world, every episode of this podcast helps a ton of people so we appreciate you
Kids don't remember much when they are 3 years old. I don't have any memories before I turned 5. And those memories have faded over time. The reasons for this trip make no sense. If it's for her to re-charge, then great. But if seems like this is more to impress her friends and kids. I hope they get their priorities strait. Western culture has a mindset of wanting things now and pay later. I've done this myself so I can't be too judgmental. .
I left medical school because I realized the only reason I wanted to be a doctor because of the societal reputation, respect etc but didn’t really connect with the work. While I was in school, I assumed money would never ever be an issue and I’d be raking in multiple 6 figures. While I took a year of debt with me, it was the kick in the butt I needed to learn and take my personal finances seriously.
54:44 If you’re able, zoom in on Jack’s face when she said, “…my dad gave us the money to not be homeless.” Look at how he squirmed the few seconds after she said that. That is the reason I’m teaching my son to be a 100% provider. The vast majority of women do not view it as their job to provide for a family, so if they make the money, they are going to do what they WANT TO DO and those things may not be in the best interest of the family. This video is all the proof you need of this. Jack has zero power in this relationship because his own father, his wife’s father, and his own wife make him feel small. I hope I’m wrong, but I think he is very depressed and I want him to get personal counseling.
Lol… the timing of the NESS ad. He just said: “Stop it with the signing up for the credit cards with the points!!!” And then the NESS ad comes on. Lol oh the irony 🤦♀️
The commercial for the nest card couldn't have been better-placed XD. Ramit just blasted them for using credit cards, then promoted one right after lol. Not at it, just found that funny
The fact is their son will never remember the vacations he took at the age of 3... it's better to wait and take him when he will actually remember it and enjoy it.
I love the connection you made between money and exercising! I try to take the opposite route right now - I‘m quite good at managing my finances but really need to exercise more.
It's sad that people overspend so they can seem rich when they don't have any cash. Just because you're a doctor doesn't mean you have to keep up with the Joneses.
I LOVE this podcast, Ramit! I look forward to new episodes. I find it hard to imagine, though, how you decided to promote the NessWell credit card. It doesn’t seem like you to promote your listeners get a new credit card! Although I’m a Health & Nutrition Coach, I don’t spend “a lot” on health and wellness. I take classes, continuing education, whole foods, and some other things, the promotions that NessWell is offering (in your ad) seem to contrast with what you typically recommend to your interviewees-i.e., the extra points and money back for spending $6,000, using accumulated points for health & wellness items (it’s similar to my Amzn Prime card ). Anyway, can you address this contradiction?
0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube
I am not any different from any of your guest. I have my own debt but no where near the income of most of your guest. I to have a whole in my bucket and I am working on getting it patched up. That is why I didn't understand why you would promote a credit card to people who have issues with spending more than they have. Just curious. I have learned a lot from watching you and your guest and I will continue to watch and learn.
I’ll I’ll mmm I I’ll uoo I oil Kim lo he😅i😮o😅i😅😮😮😮
Maybe I should have worded my question differently. Saying "most of your listeners" was unfair of me. From what I see when watching your pod cast is that a lot of your guest have credit card debt as do most people. But my question was not directed to anyone but the host. It just seems to me poor taste to endorse a credit card. When you're trying to educate people on how better to manage their money. Also I thought pod cast were about talking getting involved and asking questions. I guess that depends on the question. ❤
While we can all agree that they have areas to improve on, that is of course the reason they came on the podcast. It takes an amazing sense of courage to put yourself out there for the world to see. I understand it is human nature to critique the decisions others make (and do it myself) but for anyone here to demean others is unacceptable. As if any of us don't have our own demons. I personally wouldn't have the courage to share every detail of my financial life with the world. I appreciate every one of these couples for the work they are doing to change their lives!
Is Torres a way to do a personal audit?
When I was three years old, my parents took me to Disney World. I don't remember a thing from that trip. (They took me twice more, when I was six and nine, and it was wonderful.) If you're looking to build lifelong travel memories for your children, you're not going to do it when they're three. But I get the sense that the Singapore trip was never for the children in the first place.
Agreed. I can't remember anything before 5 years old😅. I have 1 vague memory of taking a photo with Cruella DeVik at Disney World, but that's it
I agree. If the idea is really to have a break from work and spend time with your child, there are many ways to do that closer to home and much less expensively.
100% agree. The child was an excuse. Extremely common.
Take the 3 year old 7 years from now. So he or she can really experience the trip. A 3 year old remembers NOTHING!!!!
Yeah three years old won't remember much about Singapore....it was just for the parents lol
They could be millionaires, owning properties, businesses, etc. What is frightening is they are so caught up in what others are doing and where they are going. Debt freedom is so liberating because when you have focused and worked at becoming free you see things differently, you don’t care about comparing or competing with others. You do what’s within your means, what’s practical and reasonable. There is so much safety, security and happiness when this happens. Stay off of social media and looking at hyper consumers…you will be glad you did.
So true. And the lady's dad is an entrepreneur so i feel like that could totally learn from him and make a series of clinics too
@@Seevawonderloafyou can be an entrepreneur and bad with money. Probably explains where you got her experience with money.
Can't agree more! You nailed it😊
I like your comment a lot. I resonate with your words of wisdom 👊🏼
To me it sounds even worse: Doing what they THINK is "normal" and others are doing.
"Which society? Which society is pressuring you to go to Singapore?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Taking about booking a trip to Singapore 5 minutes after she mentions that just 2 months ago she feared not being able to afford a place to rent 🙄🤦🏼♀️
Yeah these excuses are insane
Cheaper tickets on Kayak
@@Dan16673 not necessarily qualify as insanity. Ramit proves that time and time again lol. Further to the point when she says society she means the pressure from commercials, her family and her very well off peers. its not as far-fetched as people who don't understand money psychology (you and LL-pq) think. we all bow to peer pressure to different degrees. She is a self-proclaimed motivated accomplisher type who saw her issues as a weakness AND she gets enabled by her father. she was bound to end up here feeling lost. Her identity is tied up to possessions and trips so the illusion and trying to maintain it got her in a bit of a pickle
Wait until your children are older, 7-9 then go to a big trip like that where they will remember it all. Thanks for sharing, we are all going through these similar struggles.
Just wait until you’re out of debt. Nothing wrong with going on a trip with a 1 year old…if you can afford it!
What. You can give a 3-year old a marker, a cardboard box and some bubble wrap for hours of fun
100%! With her 80-hour work weeks for the last 3 years, her 3 year-old would probably be much happier with snuggle time or playing in the park or hiking, not some long flights halfway around the world, then both parents exhausted from jet lag.
It's a guilt response with FTWM, and in masculine woman energy. He is not ambitious more feminine, and not MULTIPLYING money.
I could entertain myself with those supplies.
A 3 year old would not remember much, if anything, from that trip.
@cedarmanagement2343 What the hell are you babbling about? Sounds like total bullshit.
I love that Ramit still knows the value of money. You can see his surprise when she says earning six figures is not a lot....
Getting a break from work, resting, and spending time with her child are all great ideas. Going to Singapore is probably not the best way to accomplish this. A three year old will not remember the trip, and it seems like it would be much harder taking a trip like that with a child that young. If rest and spending time with your children are the real goals, then there are many, many ways to do that which would be much cheaper and closer to home, and would be a better option with the children.
The trip is for the parents, notthe kids. It’s an excuse they’re telling themselves to cope with it. Happens very often
I have a suggestion - I understand her urge for vacation and I would say instead of refraining from taking any vacation strike a deal. Out of 2600$ save 600 per month for vacation and plan a little modest vacation and still pay off debt using 2k. Thereby she don’t have to wait for 3years to plan her next vacation, end up frustrated and plan an extravagant trip and going back on debt accumulation.
"Mo money mo problems."
The way Ramit connected their exercise mindset to money was powerful stuff. Makes me wonder whats "easy" and whats "hard" in my life and see if its just mindset.
That's why I love watching these episodes. While I may not have the income/situation/etc. of all involved, each episode makes me take a look at my own decisions.
There's this saying in Med school and training that's often ignored: Doctors can buy anything, but they can't buy everything. Awesome if they, indeed, got some insight into this. Being an employed physician can burn you out in few years. Financial security may help her pivot her careers if she chooses to do so down the road.
So true, I‘m also a physician in Europe and our salary here is much lower than in the US. I certainly don’t feel that pressure to fly to Singapore tomorrow. I‘d rather save to be able to scale back when I‘m older. My kids won’t benefit from me getting a heart attack from being burned out…
Thank you to this kind couple for helping the rest of us nuckle heads! I appreciate the honesty and openness. You are doing a great service to your peers. Also, thanks to Ramit for creating this space.
Ramit- this is SO good. I love their vulnerability around spending & $ views. If you ever want to do a couple who started off rough, but are now in a very good place, lmk. I’m a therapist who owns a group practice, we adopted from Russia (which caused years of debt), but have changed our relationship with $, got educated, to the point I do a lot of financial counseling with my CEO, Dr. & Lawyer clients living paycheck to paycheck. It all comes down to getting knowledgeable, getting real & making small changes over time. We could’ve retired 4 yrs ago; but I love my job, & with Covid taking a toll on mental health, I feel there’s such a need for therapy.
Thanks for another great episode. You probably know the quote, "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." It's interesting to hear from all of these couples with issues, but I hope you can interview a couple that's nailing it and show us one amazing example to aspire to.
Debt affect children so much more than a cool vacation they won’t remember.
100% I feel this from experience
*Caleb Hammer voice* YOU ARE NOT A CREDIT CARD PERSON😅
LMAO 😂😂😂I CLEARLY SEE HIM SAYING THAT 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
He has gotten popular fast
Hahah
Omg I can clearly hear that in my ears with his high squealing voice 😂
The best for your children are calm financially free parents.
With no addictions.
This was a really good one. What a lovely and clever couple - they will have an incredible life and their children will be that little bit older to enjoy it fully too. Slow and steady x
I traveled extensively before i had my son. I didn’t really go anywhere again except local trips until he was 6 or 7. Now we travel together and he remembers everything. Big expensive trips when the child is really young only benefit the adults
Same here. We find the trips more enjoyable nowadays because the kids are old enough to participate in more activities while on vacation.
100% we leave the kids at home when we go overseas
So true. My 3 year old went to disneyland and didnt remember or talk about it.
Stop spending money on credit cards! Your kids won't remember or appreciate trips until they are about 9 or 10 and over, believe me I know. I have two daughters that we wanted to do everything with and now they say, I don't remember that.
Singapore.. every 3 yo's dream.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤭🤭🤭
😂
He’s only going to be 3 once 😅 like every age he’s only going to be every age once 😂 he’s only going to be 18 once maybe he would appreciate having wealthy parents then.
😂😂😂
I didn't realize that money issues were a reputation among doctors!
Yes very much so. That impending pay bump is a curse and a blessing.
U have been living under a rock.. most doctors are broke..
Doctors often suffer from the same hubris you see from a successful business person. They think that, since they are successful in one arena, they will be successful in anything they attempt. I have a rule to never go into business with a doctor. I've seen too many try to start businesses that were silly, poorly executed, or just not properly funded so they all failed.
I think too overspending is a bit of a burn out thing. It's part of the work hard play hard dynamic and "playing hard" is expensive
@@valerimacdonald5146Understand the sentiment. But I don't think it's because they're successful in one area... the more education and expertise you have, the more you realize you don't know about other things. I think doctors suck at finances because they don't learn money management in training - they aren't taught finances in school, and aren't earning enough money in training to gain experience managing it. So they come out of training at almost 40 and start earning what most consider to be an astronomically high salary - the likelihood of mismanagement is high. It's very similar to the situation professional sports players fall into.
If you want your kids to have the best experience that they will remember wait until they're older...10+. My 27 YO son says he remembers very little of the trips we took prior to age 10+. It would be so much more productive for couples to sit down before and get real. I realize that that is one big reason they are doing this with you...they struggle with getting real with where they are with their finances. It's painful to see them struggle. I imagine that it must feel so gratifying to finally have a plan they can work on together. I wish young people would realize that no one care if you have furniture from West Elm or that you take big trips AND if they do, they do not truly care about you. Living within your means, investing whatever you can, and little to no debt is the only way to live a rich life. You are providing such an important gift for these families Ramit.
The best for the child is to live in a responsible family, which include having financial freedom. The goal I set myself is to join the top 1% financially within a set timeframe. With my self-motivation I had no doubt of achieving my goal, which I did. I am now working towards my new goal. Right now, Today, these people need to forget everything they have done up to now and start living as grown up responsible adults.
Christina was debt free with the same total gross incomes of both of them. That was when she earned less, so she spent less.
Now that she earns more, she feels that she can spend more, ignoring the other monthly expenses she has. She expects her husband to cover those monthly expenses.
She doesn't realise on $ 87,000 credit card, she is paying about
$ 23,500/- interest a year
I feel she doesn't care about the debt. She wants to travel to have a status in her social circle.
Every holiday they go on, ONLY SHE ENJOYS, her husband is tense about the money spent & the repayment of the money.
I Hope she is, able to absorb Ramit's guidance on reducing her spending & paying off her debts.
AND she's never been responsible for money. Daddy paid for everything. She's spoiled and unwilling to tame her lifestyle.
Probably won't learn
Thanks for showing the spreadsheet! It's nice to put numbers/visuals to the conversations.
Love these videos. Learn a lot. Also appreciate these people's willingness to share their life stories with us. There are countless number of people in similar situation that don't talk about it. Host is also very attentive and engaging. Thanks for posting.
your kid will love it much more if you spend the vacation time at the park in town with him!
I know this is rare, but I do take advantage of 0% APR for X months. I've done it twice to buy large ticket items for the home. However, to avoid any interest charges, I auto deduct the same amount every month until the month the fees kick in then cancel the card.
I've used 0% offers numerous times to make larger purchases. "Free" money, especially when I get cash back points as well.
Same
I have faith in this couple. They need to use the same discipline that they use to exercise to be successful with money. All the best to them.
These people are lovely. I was dumb about money when I was their age, I hope they get on top of their debt.
i know how easy it is to get sucked into credit cards. happened to me too. 32:00 i think most of us need a wake up call when it comes to credit card debt!
It’s really not unless you’re a moron…
median household income in America was $74,580 in 2022. However, if you remove the top earners, it's much less. I hope this doctor understands the population she will be helping and has compassion for their living situation.
What beautiful followups. If things stay consistent with them they’ll be taking those trips from the interest alone in a few years.
It seems like they want everything at once. You cannot have lavish vacations, eat out all the time, buy nice cars, buy clothing, and save for house. Pick and choose what you value.
I LOVE your little rant at the 24 min mark.
This was a really great, down-to-earth, yet profound episode! Ty to all of you for sharing your truth. #lifechanging
“Whatever - people are weird. I love my job!” 😂
These convos are so real yet so unreal. It’s so helpful for people to talk through it and listen back now or years later will likely drive them crazy 😂 yet this is so familiar and I know friends who are going thru this exact thing
I know several doctors who speak the same exact way she does. You spend time through training, and once you get out it's the yellow brick road. It's a scary path because doctors are talented, but fail to see humility. I appreciate her for coming on, but some of these short term fixes can become a nightmare in the future.
Super small detail, but she mentioned expensive furniture from West Elm. When I moved last year, I needed a sofa, my previous one had been $800. Looked at local stores for something similar and it was going to be $2500, maybe $2100 with labor day deals (+ taxes/delivery charges). I know, inflation, but the prices seemed crazy to me. And all the items I saw I didn't even really like. West Elm is even more expensive. I also saw at some stores "open our credit card and get 0% financing for 72 months!" People are literally taking out "car loans" to get furniture. Anyway, I found a labor day deal at a store I knew a few states away (with 0% sales tax) and got a couch I ended up loving for around $900. Burned some miles to fly up, rented an SUV and drove it down the east coast. Still saved tons of money doing that. Part of this was lack of supply near me (supply chain issues) and part of it was finance, but so many of these furniture stores charge prices that are just out of this world.
And yes, the couch I got is just as nice (or nicer) as the more expensive ones I looked at. And the store I got it from likely has my future business. Price is a silly game where people look to buy the more expensive thing because they assume high price = superior quality. This is often a convenient filter, but not always.
I also don't buy quite as much furniture as a lot of people. It really weighs you down when you need to move. Moving it is expensive, storing it is expensive. Plus a lot of people just have such cluttered homes because they buy too much.
Can I ask what store
@@sarthipatel6868 raymour & flanigan. I forgot to mention a lot of stores near me were saying 6+ month delivery. which likely means you buy it, they never deliver, too late for chargebacks (I verified this is a common story unfortunately via yelp reviews of local stores too). was able to pick up from R&F pretty quickly.
I literally have a leather chesterfield i got on craigslist for $800.
West Elm is overpriced. If it's on clearance, it's okay but full price is way too much for what you get.
Most of my apartment is West Elm because it was the cheapest that's passable for me but some of it is really low quality. My sofa is Room & Board because West Elm has poorer reputation for sofas and you want a sofa to last (if you don't have kids or pets who will trash it anyway).
West Elm is the Millennial step up from IKEA but don't buy too much of it. Save for fewer, higher quality pieces and try to only buy things that are on clearance (my sofa was like $1000 off and was close enough to the one I wanted).
Once I get my money better together, I'll pass the West Elm stuff on and get more Room & Board and maybe even local custom stuff or antiques (I had an empty apartment I wanted to fill quickly, which was a poor financial decision).
The baby won’t remember the trip, it’s better the plan for the future for you and your family. Financial security matters for your children’s sense of security within the home. Thank you teaching is all about our emotions associated with money.
I love how gentle Ramit is in his approach! It's firm, but so reassuring.
this vid made me pay off my credit card debt
Seriously 😂 I really looked at myself after watching this
Nothing more relatable than being in medicine and feeling pressure to maximize those vacation weeks in residency.
38:41 Pay close attention to what she says here. She started to say “we will have money in the future” and then corrected herself to say “I will have money in the future.” If you think her husband didn’t pick up on that you’re wrong. He knows she has him be the short and curly’s. This is an interesting study in power dynamics.
My wife and I had the exact opposite mentality as these two. I'm earning 120k and she has graduated with her M.S. RN. So our income is doubling. We cash flowed her education, while paying off other debt incured from helping with a loved one's medicine care, when she starts working we'll be down to $25k debt except our mortgage. Our goal is to pay off the remaining debt before the end of the year and wipe out our mortgage in 2-3 years. Then we'll be debt free with a solid 160k net cash flow, plus our Employer matched retirement investments. Our last step is to supercharge our investments and set aside cash for purchases/lifestyle improvements. We want to take multiple international vacations a year and start investing in rental properties.
Great work and keep at it - best of luck :)
multiple vacations a year...LOL!
They seem so sweet. I hope they can create a plan together and enjoy the money and time they have.
I dont think she has the same respect for his man when she started making much more than him..and he does not feel good about it..She even considers his six figures has almost nothing...
I expected more intelligence from a doctor not planning 25k trips with no saving... godness me !!
I would love to see future prgoress of this couples finances after they have been through the programme. Having the courage to open up on here alone shoes they care and want to commit.
To each his own. I'm a boomer and I budget my travels to $1500, whatever that may take me. $1500, all included. I splurged in 2022 for a month in La Paz, B.C., $2100, rent in a tiny bit cozy apartment included. I hope this couple come out on top, and everybody for that matter.
Are these trips just for you? Party of one vs four?
My silent generation, blue collar dad lived frugally. He is comfortable retired now. The man still wears pants from the 80s. However, as kids and today, when he travels…he does not penny pinch. His philosophy is that I don’t spend elsewhere to spend here. Same with my bro, he is really well off, he bucked the peer pressure to join a country club. He bought a beach house and takes one blow out trip per year. He also is not a shopper. His wife is not a shopper. Priorities. Earning it and keeping it are two different skills.
@@Galworld761 That is exactly what I do, in a minor way. I pick my spending battles, hardly ever eating out, cooking most of my meals. I spend my money on concerts because live music is my thing.
What a tragedy and a loss of resources from a lack of financial planning. It’s surly a wake up call for all of us. Live below our means, or be paying it all off when we are older. It will be taking away from my future and from my kids future if they continue on this way.
I am a resident and you cannot afford anything if you have children living in la on a residents salary. Most residents do not accumulate this type of debt durung residency. We all work 80 hours a week !
Thank you for sharing
Leaning a lot and a different way to look at money and life .
Don't travel anywhere. Don't leave the house until the debt is paid off.. How can you ever consider travelling anywhere with that crippling debt hanging over you? Cut up your credit cards. Don't send your kids on guilt trips all over the place. Little kids just want cuddles and listening and affection, not trips to Singapore.. That's just off loading guilt
Your kids not gonna remember the expensive holidays. Theyre gonna remember not having friends because they gotta move houses every year. The things ppldont think abour, seriously. Put yourself in your kids‘ shoes. Would you rather grow up with forgotten holidays or growing up in a house with no money fights. 55:13
I think that its common for at least one person in a marriage to be oblivious of the concept of money or not understand the value of a dollar. I think in this situation, that person is Christina.
Right. the husband seems to want to hold off on the trip(s). I think it's "Happy Wife, Happy Life."
@@deirdrekiely6187 agreed. That’s such an overused and cancerous phrase that some ppl live by.
All my experience and studies into relationships and finances leads me to believe never commit to or marry a “spender.”
At least she is a big earner but it still seems miserable. I couldn’t imagine being the earner and the saver… a life of slavery and anxiety; no thanks.
Edit: After listening further… both of these people are banned from credit cards. They need the Dave Ramsey system.
Hey Ramit ! you are soo good at listening and tolerant 😄you got to the point with this couple ..amazing job how you helped them make the connection between their discipline to exercise and non discipline to money matters👍
Ramit, Love this program! Please consider adding single people, maybe once a quarter? Your show is the only program that does a deep dive and would be helpful to see also for single people. I'm single so yes my request is self serving. haha
Thank you for watching! Not going to do that, but I invite you to join iwt.com/moneycoaching where I do live Q&A each month
@@ramitsethi why won’t you address single people…Are only couples worthy of this advise/insight?
Great episode I wish them the best. The kids would ❤ camping. Most campgrounds have full cabins. They could be so rich😊
43:59 Ramit about fell out his chair hearing his book being quoted 😂
I really feel for Jack. Of the two of them, he stands the better chance of managing the finances well, but he can't withstand her pressuring, and he will have even less power to call the shots and get things under control once her salary climbs even higher. He was basically stuck watching the situation get worse and worse.
Hopefully the changes they made in the follow up stuck, and they're doing a lot better now, but I think it was rightfully mentioned that the spending was the pressure valve that releases steam to keep the job pressures under control (but also probably the daily workouts and healthy lifestyle are probably even more pressure on top of the work). The concern would be that they need some sort of pressure valve to keep their work output where it is now, and if that goes away, the problem will spill out elsewhere. However, this is a finance and lifestyle podcast, not a psychology one.
25:06 He isn’t comfortable with it in the slightest. Listen to the way he stumbled through his answer. He’s scared to death of that woman. She’s making the money, she’s a spender, if he tries to stop the slide, she’ll toss him out on the street.
53:05 The way you do one thing is the way you do everything
She should be shameful to blame her spending on her kids. My kid at three enjoyed more his time with me playing ball at the backyard than our trip to Cancun......
No trip will make your kids love you more
$300,000 and might live in a car...my goodness....I pay rent first thing out of my pay cheque because it is the biggest expense. I make $40,000 a year and have $5000 in debt which is getting paid off every month a bit at a time. Sure...no kids and single but 48 years old and do not have a car. There are ways to not have to live in your car and if you make $300,000 I really really don't understand how people can't make that work. If I made $300,000...I would consider myself super super super rich! You're living way beyond your means...it's not complicated to manage money!
Serious question: Can someone like Christina, who’s been a spender her whole life, actually change? I don’t mean a few months or a year, I mean long term? It’s extremely difficult and I find it not possible, the constant struggle to fight yourself to not go back to your default behavior, you will eventually give in
People change all the time- When you know better you do better. Hopefully they will in this area of their lives
I find it limiting to say bad behavior is just a default or "that's just how I am." Change is possible if you commit to it. Before you know it, good habits will be your new default.
I think so. If they find a saving strategy that fits their lifestyle where they can save and still enjoy their money, I think it possible. I say this from my own experience.
I don't think she will change, but she can definitely get smarter.
budget
11:25 “I want to give my 3 year old the best that I can” (that she Can afford” LADY you can’t afford anything that cost. I literally take my daughter (3 and 1 years old) to the same 2-3 parks every single day. It’s free besides gas. It’s fun. It’s spending time with them, it’s quality. I bet my 3 year old is more impacted by the same boring park everyday than any Singapore trip you can put on credit.
Have either one of you thought what happens if one of you should die? I used to work in the funeral industry, and people of ALL ages die for no apparent reason....people don't have to be ill to pass away. You of course should've be where you are at, but to depend on each others income only adds fuel to the fire.
Such a sweet couple. I wish them lots of luck :)
The problem here is entitlement based on keeping up appearances...if they are worried about where they are going to live then vacations are a pipe dream. I wish them the best but they have to get over titles and make a plan for money and debt.
Thank you for sharing. Congratulations on your goals and I’m sure you’ll have a great aventures.
When are we going to get the next where are they now?
i really loved christina’s follow up. i feel like a lot of the comments are jumping quickly to judging her but she was so receptive to everything jack and ramit were saying, even taking notes and committing to making sacrifices. i wish the best for this couple! thanks for being brave enough to share your financial situation with the world, every episode of this podcast helps a ton of people so we appreciate you
Kids don't remember much when they are 3 years old. I don't have any memories before I turned 5. And those memories have faded over time. The reasons for this trip make no sense. If it's for her to re-charge, then great. But if seems like this is more to impress her friends and kids. I hope they get their priorities strait. Western culture has a mindset of wanting things now and pay later. I've done this myself so I can't be too judgmental. .
I left medical school because I realized the only reason I wanted to be a doctor because of the societal reputation, respect etc but didn’t really connect with the work. While I was in school, I assumed money would never ever be an issue and I’d be raking in multiple 6 figures. While I took a year of debt with me, it was the kick in the butt I needed to learn and take my personal finances seriously.
This was a difficult conversation, I hope they get their finances sorted
54:44 If you’re able, zoom in on Jack’s face when she said, “…my dad gave us the money to not be homeless.” Look at how he squirmed the few seconds after she said that. That is the reason I’m teaching my son to be a 100% provider. The vast majority of women do not view it as their job to provide for a family, so if they make the money, they are going to do what they WANT TO DO and those things may not be in the best interest of the family. This video is all the proof you need of this. Jack has zero power in this relationship because his own father, his wife’s father, and his own wife make him feel small. I hope I’m wrong, but I think he is very depressed and I want him to get personal counseling.
27:01 her expressions killed me throughout this 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The Botox is tooo strong here
Lol… the timing of the NESS ad. He just said: “Stop it with the signing up for the credit cards with the points!!!” And then the NESS ad comes on. Lol oh the irony 🤦♀️
Hey Ramit, Can you please update the link to your newsletter? It says it’s deleted/broken! Thanks 🙏
This is truly a Rahmit masterpiece! One of my favorite episodes where I felt like I learned how to ask better questions. 👌🏼
“What the fu…?!” And keeps it moving haha
This is just being completely unconscious about spending. They want to live it up without suffering from the mess they made.
The commercial for the nest card couldn't have been better-placed XD. Ramit just blasted them for using credit cards, then promoted one right after lol. Not at it, just found that funny
The fact is their son will never remember the vacations he took at the age of 3... it's better to wait and take him when he will actually remember it and enjoy it.
44:03 Watches. Definitely wrist watches. Getting that Lange & Sohne one day!
Love the episode!!!
I love the connection you made between money and exercising! I try to take the opposite route right now - I‘m quite good at managing my finances but really need to exercise more.
Wait...whut???...Singapoore? Because of her 3yr/o??? What about Disneyworld????
You son is never going to remember if you went on a trip till he's at least 5.
Immediately can tell he doesn’t cook who practices cooking… that’s just a passion and a joy. That is not like working out.
Loved this! If you ever get bored of wealthy American couples, I know a poor English woman who could use your wisdom 😂
It's sad that people overspend so they can seem rich when they don't have any cash. Just because you're a doctor doesn't mean you have to keep up with the Joneses.
Doctors worst enemy is the ego
Can you make the spending plan much larger so we can see it better please, its very tiny. tx
I will share with my team and see what we can do! Thanks for watching
WTH, I would rather defer a leisure trip and saving my money. Who the hell cares about keeping up with the Shallow Jonses!
My son never remember any trips we took when he was below 5 years old
I LOVE this podcast, Ramit! I look forward to new episodes. I find it hard to imagine, though, how you decided to promote the NessWell credit card. It doesn’t seem like you to promote your listeners get a new credit card! Although I’m a Health & Nutrition Coach, I don’t spend “a lot” on health and wellness. I take classes, continuing education, whole foods, and some other things, the promotions that NessWell is offering (in your ad) seem to contrast with what you typically recommend to your interviewees-i.e., the extra points and money back for spending $6,000, using accumulated points for health & wellness items (it’s similar to my Amzn Prime card ).
Anyway, can you address this contradiction?
Need a vacation? Spend the weekend in Santa Barbara and call it good until you dig out of more than a QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS of debt.