@@Oliveradventure hey same here ...I just want to save our marriage...he has disconnected my from me n my daughter who is 6yrs old and he sleeps alone in living room. he dsnt talk
@@promyntheus2782 just beginning this video but it sounds like they don’t go over that option. What if in your situation it’s the best to end it and this seems like your golden ticket to do so.
My love of my life walked out no explanation I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. I massage her feet at night. I listen to her read and we talk about it. I give her flowers after work with the lights out, playing her favourite song by cook meals I didn’t chase her down because I love her too much and I didn’t want her to be stressed or depressed. I guess sometimes if you love them enough, you let them go
What about a spouse who has given 100% (marriage counselling, solo counselling, prayer, self-improvement, apologies when genuinely needed, curbing annoying habits…) and the other spouse seems to not understand the issues or want to rebuild the marriage? I’ve exhausted all my energy trying to improve and save my marriage, everything short of changing my personality and values. I’ve lost hope and the will to put anything more in. I’m physically and emotionally depleted.
No idea because I’m right there with you. My wife even said I was a wonderful husband (if she was being truthful) but that she can’t love me in the way I want….Whatever that means
@anitacollingwood4224 Did he exhibit narcissistic behaviors prior to leaving? If so, draining out their spouse while taking little to no accountability and then running after a new supply is commonplace with them.
I've been very loving with my wife and she suddenly just went cold and left in one moment. I thought things were getting better but it seems she checked out and what I thought was things getting better was her just being quiet and biding her time to drop the bomb on me without warning. She doesn't want to fix it, this came out of nowhere and shocked everyone in both of our families, even those that didn't like me.
@@eliasdeleon5380 4th was my wife's birthday, I'm in pain too. It's worse than dying. A few days after my last post I found out about a one-time affair. Geoffrey Setiawan has videos that got me the best results so far but it requires lots of study watching his videos and working on yourself. No contact makes things worse even if she is angry, smart contact barely works.
@@asmrturbowhistlecalm8224it’s so painful to hear your wife did that. Hopefully you can communicate with her but I’m sorry that she just vanished I can feel your pain
My wife left over a decade ago. I have little room for care or compassion for anyone other than myself. The only person who really matters and my life is me.
Same happened my husaband left me at my parents for few days and next day he comes up to me and says he wants to end and now he's all no contact zone and the only person I'm ready to talk to is his family not even him anymore....
Unfortunately my husband is a narcissist, before he left, i kinda went silent, because I had emotionally checked out, 17 years together, he has physically, and emotionally abuse me, we have no kids together, thank God, but when he just up and left i did not and do not know whete he is, there has been no contact on my part, no calls or txt, he trued to txt me but still no contact! He is dead to me, but I am hurting and slightly depressed! I believe he was cheating.
After asking my husband for years to work to help us both heal from his past affair, I gave up. He has refused professional help. He does not speak up about what he wants, or what he expects from me…this is not even a friendship. I walked away, and he seems to be fine. Even happier, maybe??
Honestly am i dumb trying to save my marriage? We already seperated, But havent filed for divorce, most my friends just tell me to give up, and move on, i dont want to give up i still love her! Im just so lost right now....
Long story short... No, you are not dumb for trying to save for your marriage. We're sorry for what you're experiencing right now. Try watching this video. Remember that you are not alone and there is ALWAYS hope. th-cam.com/video/t2flAFV96WI/w-d-xo.html
I'm in the same position like you. My wife had serious daddy issues that weren't resolved and I was not fully aware of them and she brought them into the marriage. I realize that some of the issues we were having was as a result of her daddy issues ,but she would deny it everytime. I felt helpless and didn't know what to do. I got blamed for everything, even when she developed PTSD. I got blamed for that because of my mistakes. Mind u I haven't had an affair, I don't drink and those type of stuff u expect to be the reasons for a failing marriage. But what I did, along with her baggage, cause her to be in the state she is currently in. She is traumatized and she sees me as the source for that trauma. She even blames me for the actions of people towards her due to those people not wanting her to be in a relationship with me.
Mine happened a little over a month ago. I lost it but before I said anything or snapped. I took a step back and did research. I'm now doing my PIES and Smart Contact as well as working on my communication skills. I'm also listening to your videos as well as John Gottman.
I have been watching many testimonies on TH-cam of marriage is getting restored. One keep standing and praying to God. I am going to continue to do that for my wife. It’s never over.
@@Setnolimits my husband is divorcing me after 40 years and I am trying so hard to save this marriage and he is not. He just says he doesn’t wanna be married that’s it. I am so heartbroken so I know how you feel I know mines gonna end in divorce it’s on its way and it’s horrible
My husband walk out and gone and live with a next woman we been together for 24 years we had alot ups and down he didnt want his daughter in the house and o didnt want to put her out i am a little bit sad at times but life goes on.
Mine has escalated to police complaints both sides and I'm ready to divorce her. I don't want any issue. My wife has abandonment issues. There is no hope because they waiting for wedding day to file divorce and they lied to police and I don’t want to go to Jail. I'm planning to migrate and need a good police report. My wife is lying and making stuff and not talking to me. She is planning to take out DVRO
My spouse lied to me and I blew up said she was low said she could get someone else and other things I did not mean now she does not trust me and will not understand how her lying to me really hurt me and I felt she needed to be hurt and I regret it now because she wants to leave. I didnt realize what I was saying in that moment at all. What should I do?
I have experienced my wife leaving and have exibetted the behavour myself almost like trying to stay above water. I reached out to what I thought was a good therapist only to find she made matters worse. And started hitting on me in my venerabile state of mind. I get the Pies and push and and working on smart contact and safe places . I admit to my push. But, if they shut communication down how will they ever see the new me?
The time the person goes out the door, the door closes and gets bolted. Never ever would I look back. Keep your integrity and self-respect..lock the door, go no contact, get a divorce, and never ever look back !!!! Some people enjoy your pain !..don't panic close to the door and change the locks ASAP !!!!
I looked into that advice and changing the locks may be a step too far at least immediately. It could be considered “constructed abandonment” which looks like you forced them out and puts you at fault.
What do I do if she separated, wants divorce, and then is already seeing other men? I just filed for divorce because it's what she wanted she said and says no way she is coming back. I still love her.
I'm in this situation just that I'm not sure she is seeing other men but I'm aware she and her ex are back on following each other on Instagram. How did you you pull through?
@@mokhelemoletsane3486 so hard. Loving family and friends. Finding ways to give myself grace and build myself up again. Days can be bad and others good. If I dwell on what she is doing I get down but realize I can only control myself. It is hard though, knowing someone who loved you is now in another man’s arms. Especially when I found out he lives with his mom at the house and only has part time job. I got left for a manchild. It’s illogical to me, makes no sense, but I have to give all my problems to God. Understand that whatever happens is by design and to keep moving forward. Rocky said it best on Balboa. Might seem cheesy but it’s so true in life. It’s your time to be the best version of yourself. Got to just keep moving forward.
If she is not madly in love with ONE person over which she left (which could mean she has a temporary addiction to another person = limerance) then your relationship with her is over. I take that from "she is seeing other MEN". She did not go "crazy" over one man, she just ended the relationship with a clear mind and is checking out her other options already. You may have dodged a bullet. This channel is mainly about limerence as opposed to normal affairs or just a partner not wanting to continue with the relationship. But they do not make that decision in state of "madness" (like persons do that have a limerent episode).
Only walk out if she cheated, did some type of illegal activity or committed a crime, or has completely lost interest in you and is unwilling to change.
My wife left after 27 years for someone she met on Facebook it hurts really bad but I don’t want her back I just can’t stop the hurt of knowing she’s sleeping in another man’s bed
What do you do when you find a video like this and you already did the crying begging pleading and they left! Nobody knows this stuff till it’s too late! You don’t go looking for help till you need it and by then damage is done!
You start NOW. Yesterday was yesterday. Today and tomorrow do it better. You are not going to do it right the first time. You are not going to do it right every time. Practice makes perfect. Every day is another day to do it right.
Question, I'm a widow. 3yrs later, I'm dating someone who really wants to marry me. At times I feel like I love him, and at times I don't. I don't want to marry someone that God doesn't want me to. But I'm not sure. 2x during 🙏 I thought God told me he gave him to me. Lately I'm not so sure again. Please 🙏 for me.
Thank you for the great information! Only if I knew this earlier this year, maybe things would be different between us. Only God knows this! She walked out on us! I been trying to get her back, and I made a lot worse than they were before. Now I lost her forever! Her last text was, "Just leave me alone." Now me & puppies are alone!
God is making a way for you he wants the best. marriage helper will help you become the best you can be. this is GODS hand working with you marriage helper will help you make the right decisions in life. I encourage you and your partner to seek marriage helper guidance first before even thinking of anything else that's how serious this is and you won't regret it . you are not alone. This will take some pressure off your back . its ok friend GOD BLESS YOU. you may still be grieving from your loss and this can affect your way of thinking and that's ok. its normal .marriage helper can guide you in the right direction you got THIS
Suggest pre-marital couples therapy with marriage experts before you decide to marry. Get to the core of values, morals, how you’d both react to specific situations. Try a couples’ game like the one Esther Perel developed. Observe how your date behaves in all situations…do you see anything amiss? I learned from a therapist that if a person doesn’t behave or react the way 90% of other people would, take notice!
God does not plan your marriage, you have free will and a sound mind to make your decision. god helps those that help themselves. If you feel at times that you love him and sometimes not, then you are not "madly" in love with him. Good ! So nothing will keep you from using your life experience, listening to your intuition, asking for advice, taking your time to observe your potential partner. Premarital counseling could be a good idea (if the couselor is good).
I needed this video over a year ago 😢….. but thanks to God we are in reconciliation now
Did he come back after he left, my husband is telling me he no longer knows what he feels and he needs time..
@@Oliveradventure me too
@@Oliveradventure hey same here ...I just want to save our marriage...he has disconnected my from me n my daughter who is 6yrs old and he sleeps alone in living room. he dsnt talk
@@macky0714
What was the outcome?
What happened in order for there to be reconciliation?
This is really the BEST ADVICE! Ever!
A spouse's Betrayal is extremely painful. Take it to God, not family, friends, work, FB.
Yes. Prayer and journaling has helped me. Pilates and running on the treadmill also.
Journaling 😊. Running 😊. Good advice!
My husband walked out a month ago. I panicked, sent text messages, sent emails. Gosh, I wish I had found this video sooner. 😢😢
If your spouse just walked out...
close the door behind them and look for the doors that are now open to your new beginnings.
Easier said then done but yes.
@@promyntheus2782 just beginning this video but it sounds like they don’t go over that option. What if in your situation it’s the best to end it and this seems like your golden ticket to do so.
My love of my life walked out no explanation I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. I massage her feet at night. I listen to her read and we talk about it. I give her flowers after work with the lights out, playing her favourite song by cook meals I didn’t chase her down because I love her too much and I didn’t want her to be stressed or depressed. I guess sometimes if you love them enough, you let them go
Im going thru this and im so confused why she gave up on us without working out communication issues.. Im such in a mess in my mind..
What about a spouse who has given 100% (marriage counselling, solo counselling, prayer, self-improvement, apologies when genuinely needed, curbing annoying habits…) and the other spouse seems to not understand the issues or want to rebuild the marriage? I’ve exhausted all my energy trying to improve and save my marriage, everything short of changing my personality and values. I’ve lost hope and the will to put anything more in. I’m physically and emotionally depleted.
No idea because I’m right there with you. My wife even said I was a wonderful husband (if she was being truthful) but that she can’t love me in the way I want….Whatever that means
@anitacollingwood4224 Did he exhibit narcissistic behaviors prior to leaving? If so, draining out their spouse while taking little to no accountability and then running after a new supply is commonplace with them.
I've been very loving with my wife and she suddenly just went cold and left in one moment. I thought things were getting better but it seems she checked out and what I thought was things getting better was her just being quiet and biding her time to drop the bomb on me without warning. She doesn't want to fix it, this came out of nowhere and shocked everyone in both of our families, even those that didn't like me.
This just happened to me a day before 4th of july...
@@eliasdeleon5380 4th was my wife's birthday, I'm in pain too. It's worse than dying. A few days after my last post I found out about a one-time affair. Geoffrey Setiawan has videos that got me the best results so far but it requires lots of study watching his videos and working on yourself. No contact makes things worse even if she is angry, smart contact barely works.
@@tb87670 That's tough, man. How did she have the affair? How and where did she meet the guy?
That means she tried to make it work and for whatever reason thinks you took her for granted/not seriously. Women check out emotional before physical
Same happened with my wife at 45. I think its early menapause. Im very caring and lovinh. Not perfect but a decent man.
I needed this advice today. I want my love to reconsider his decision to give up on us.
Did he ? My wife just vanished on Friday. Changed number and everything . She threw her clothes in the trash that were in our house...just gone .
@@asmrturbowhistlecalm8224it’s so painful to hear your wife did that. Hopefully you can communicate with her but I’m sorry that she just vanished I can feel your pain
My wife left over a decade ago. I have little room for care or compassion for anyone other than myself. The only person who really matters and my life is me.
Same happened my husaband left me at my parents for few days and next day he comes up to me and says he wants to end and now he's all no contact zone and the only person I'm ready to talk to is his family not even him anymore....
@@komalawasthi1040 love yourself. Respect your mental health. I've been there done that, and now I found my Peace.
Unfortunately my husband is a narcissist, before he left, i kinda went silent, because I had emotionally checked out, 17 years together, he has physically, and emotionally abuse me, we have no kids together, thank God, but when he just up and left i did not and do not know whete he is, there has been no contact on my part, no calls or txt, he trued to txt me but still no contact! He is dead to me, but I am hurting and slightly depressed! I believe he was cheating.
Let her walk, she never cared about you!
I just had to comment again because this sounds a lot like what is going on with my marriage right now.
After asking my husband for years to work to help us both heal from his past affair, I gave up. He has refused professional help. He does not speak up about what he wants, or what he expects from me…this is not even a friendship.
I walked away, and he seems to be fine. Even happier, maybe??
I know a lot of people won't agree with this but I don't tolerate affairs. You should have just left him when he had the affair.
Honestly am i dumb trying to save my marriage? We already seperated, But havent filed for divorce, most my friends just tell me to give up, and move on, i dont want to give up i still love her! Im just so lost right now....
Long story short... No, you are not dumb for trying to save for your marriage. We're sorry for what you're experiencing right now. Try watching this video. Remember that you are not alone and there is ALWAYS hope. th-cam.com/video/t2flAFV96WI/w-d-xo.html
I'm in the same position like you. My wife had serious daddy issues that weren't resolved and I was not fully aware of them and she brought them into the marriage. I realize that some of the issues we were having was as a result of her daddy issues ,but she would deny it everytime. I felt helpless and didn't know what to do. I got blamed for everything, even when she developed PTSD. I got blamed for that because of my mistakes. Mind u I haven't had an affair, I don't drink and those type of stuff u expect to be the reasons for a failing marriage. But what I did, along with her baggage, cause her to be in the state she is currently in. She is traumatized and she sees me as the source for that trauma. She even blames me for the actions of people towards her due to those people not wanting her to be in a relationship with me.
I'm in a similar situation. I think it is a her problem, not a me problem. I'm coming to the conclusion that she is a lost cause.
If she hasnt moved on to a new man. I say yes if so let it go.
@@daviddevault8700is she over 40? Mine left too and is hot and cold i think its hormones
Mine happened a little over a month ago. I lost it but before I said anything or snapped. I took a step back and did research. I'm now doing my PIES and Smart Contact as well as working on my communication skills. I'm also listening to your videos as well as John Gottman.
Marriage helper coaches are awesome and highly recommended 😊
Celebrate and thank God!
Im divorced and only divorced because my wife wanted it. But i want reconciliation to happen. Can you please help me?
I have been watching many testimonies on TH-cam of marriage is getting restored. One keep standing and praying to God. I am going to continue to do that for my wife. It’s never over.
@@Setnolimits my husband is divorcing me after 40 years and I am trying so hard to save this marriage and he is not. He just says he doesn’t wanna be married that’s it. I am so heartbroken so I know how you feel I know mines gonna end in divorce it’s on its way and it’s horrible
My husband walk out and gone and live with a next woman we been together for 24 years we had alot ups and down he didnt want his daughter in the house and o didnt want to put her out i am a little bit sad at times but life goes on.
Mine has escalated to police complaints both sides and I'm ready to divorce her. I don't want any issue. My wife has abandonment issues. There is no hope because they waiting for wedding day to file divorce and they lied to police and I don’t want to go to Jail. I'm planning to migrate and need a good police report. My wife is lying and making stuff and not talking to me. She is planning to take out DVRO
Goodluck brother. May God keep you.
Good luck
My spouse lied to me and I blew up said she was low said she could get someone else and other things I did not mean now she does not trust me and will not understand how her lying to me really hurt me and I felt she needed to be hurt and I regret it now because she wants to leave. I didnt realize what I was saying in that moment at all. What should I do?
My husband left and wants divorce. He moved to Arizona I think. He ghosted me. I’m anxious and he an avoidant.
I have experienced my wife leaving and have exibetted the behavour myself almost like trying to stay above water. I reached out to what I thought was a good therapist only to find she made matters worse. And started hitting on me in my venerabile state of mind. I get the Pies and push and and working on smart contact and safe places . I admit to my push. But, if they shut communication down how will they ever see the new me?
They don't, so work on yourself and be better not to show her you've changed but really showing yourself that you are great and evolved.
The time the person goes out the door, the door closes and gets bolted. Never ever would I look back. Keep your integrity and self-respect..lock the door, go no contact, get a divorce, and never ever look back !!!! Some people enjoy your pain !..don't panic close to the door and change the locks ASAP !!!!
Dang, you're pretty. Just a compliment. It's not😊 a pickup line.
heart of stone
Maybe you had a parts to play?
@@directionfinderformenstop simping. For all you know she berated her parter every moment if every day until they left
I looked into that advice and changing the locks may be a step too far at least immediately. It could be considered “constructed abandonment” which looks like you forced them out and puts you at fault.
Can somebody give me some hope. My husband of 32 years walked out on me today. I don't know what to do.
Any kids?
Ask God for guidance
@@Kathleen-d8j 3 x adult
What do I do if she separated, wants divorce, and then is already seeing other men? I just filed for divorce because it's what she wanted she said and says no way she is coming back. I still love her.
I'm in this situation just that I'm not sure she is seeing other men but I'm aware she and her ex are back on following each other on Instagram. How did you you pull through?
@@mokhelemoletsane3486 so hard. Loving family and friends. Finding ways to give myself grace and build myself up again. Days can be bad and others good. If I dwell on what she is doing I get down but realize I can only control myself. It is hard though, knowing someone who loved you is now in another man’s arms. Especially when I found out he lives with his mom at the house and only has part time job. I got left for a manchild. It’s illogical to me, makes no sense, but I have to give all my problems to God. Understand that whatever happens is by design and to keep moving forward. Rocky said it best on Balboa. Might seem cheesy but it’s so true in life. It’s your time to be the best version of yourself. Got to just keep moving forward.
If she is not madly in love with ONE person over which she left (which could mean she has a temporary addiction to another person = limerance) then your relationship with her is over. I take that from "she is seeing other MEN". She did not go "crazy" over one man, she just ended the relationship with a clear mind and is checking out her other options already.
You may have dodged a bullet.
This channel is mainly about limerence as opposed to normal affairs or just a partner not wanting to continue with the relationship. But they do not make that decision in state of "madness" (like persons do that have a limerent episode).
I wish I'd watched this 5 years ago. I'm not sure that anything would have made any difference
But if you're in a no-fault state, you have to respond to the courts within the amount of time given.
What about if he would not go?
Then he's not for you hun
Yes! Claim down! Alright, 👍🏾
Calm?
Nice 👍 thanks
Why did not I find Marriage Helper last March?!😢
What to do if my fiancee does not want to consult ... she said there is no hope ...
If I did all that, them what is my next step?
I am the one who wants to walk out.
Only walk out if she cheated, did some type of illegal activity or committed a crime, or has completely lost interest in you and is unwilling to change.
My wife left after 27 years for someone she met on Facebook it hurts really bad but I don’t want her back I just can’t stop the hurt of knowing she’s sleeping in another man’s bed
this just happened to me. I hope it helps
Significant other what?
My hubby tell me this all the time.
I done all this mistakes waht next
I will. Steven Crowder.
What do you do when you find a video like this and you already did the crying begging pleading and they left!
Nobody knows this stuff till it’s too late!
You don’t go looking for help till you need it and by then damage is done!
Good question
Wondering the same.. I did everything wrong.
You start NOW. Yesterday was yesterday. Today and tomorrow do it better. You are not going to do it right the first time. You are not going to do it right every time. Practice makes perfect. Every day is another day to do it right.
Do things that is better for yourself
It's been a year
Separate!
Question, I'm a widow. 3yrs later, I'm dating someone who really wants to marry me. At times I feel like I love him, and at times I don't. I don't want to marry someone that God doesn't want me to. But I'm not sure. 2x during 🙏 I thought God told me he gave him to me. Lately I'm not so sure again. Please 🙏 for me.
Thank you for the great information! Only if I knew this earlier this year, maybe things would be different between us. Only God knows this!
She walked out on us!
I been trying to get her back, and I made a lot worse than they were before. Now I lost her forever!
Her last text was, "Just leave me alone."
Now me & puppies are alone!
God is making a way for you he wants the best. marriage helper will help you become the best you can be. this is GODS hand working with you marriage helper will help you make the right decisions in life. I encourage you and your partner to seek marriage helper guidance first before even thinking of anything else that's how serious this is and you won't regret it . you are not alone. This will take some pressure off your back . its ok friend GOD BLESS YOU. you may still be grieving from your loss and this can affect your way of thinking and that's ok. its normal .marriage helper can guide you in the right direction you got THIS
Suggest pre-marital couples therapy with marriage experts before you decide to marry. Get to the core of values, morals, how you’d both react to specific situations.
Try a couples’ game like the one Esther Perel developed.
Observe how your date behaves in all situations…do you see anything amiss?
I learned from a therapist that if a person doesn’t behave or react the way 90% of other people would, take notice!
God does not plan your marriage, you have free will and a sound mind to make your decision. god helps those that help themselves. If you feel at times that you love him and sometimes not, then you are not "madly" in love with him. Good ! So nothing will keep you from using your life experience, listening to your intuition, asking for advice, taking your time to observe your potential partner. Premarital counseling could be a good idea (if the couselor is good).