I spent my entire life thinking that a memory is a general “knowing that something happened.” I had no idea that memories could be relived/experienced internally in vivid detail. I think that having SDAM is why I was drawn to the profession of audiovisual preservation and oral history. I thought that in order to capture a visual or auditory memory, it had to be stored externally in pictures, moving images and sound. I now want to explore how individual differences in experiencing memory (beyond the historical neuronormative approach) ought to influence the practices of archivists and oral historians.
This is what I have! It’s hard sometimes like when my husband says things like “remember when we went to Disneyland?” and I really, truly don’t. But I don’t think about it a lot in everyday. I have a good job in the legal field, am fairly intelligent, and raised two children, but I don’t remember them learning to walk, etc….. so glad to know I’m not alone!
I am able to tell stories of my past that sound almost like anecdotes, because I use autobiographical semantic memories to help me infer what must have happened.
After telling anyone this about yourself, have you been told you don’t pay attention, or maybe you were abused as a child and that’s why you can’t remember? It’s so frustrating!!
I am the same way. Otherwise healthy but I cannot remember my childhood. I know what I’ve been told and have seen in pictures. But it kills me every day that I can’t tell my kids the things I liked at their ages.
I found out that I had full aphantasia 2 years ago. Like many, I thought the 'mind's eye' was just a turn of phrase. I found out about SDAM last week, and I have now realised that those movie sequences of people being transported back in time by tastes, smells and sounds, was also a real thing. I have no memory of tastes or smells - each time I eat something that I like, it's a surprise how nice it tastes. I don't dream. My daughter is always asking me whether I like one song better than some other, and I have to ask her to play them back to back to decide. I can't remember textures or any other sensation. I can't remember the sound of my families voices, even if they have just been in the room. It explains so much, but I think I am also grieving a little for this ability that others apparently have.
Thank you for sharing. Discovering Aphantasia & SDAM and realizing its impact on your sensory experiences and memories can be quite the revelation. Feeling a mix of emotions is totally understandable. Just know you're not alone in this. There's a whole network of us "like-minds" ready to embrace your journey.
I have got SDAM. And others have it too. OMG. Always wondered why life events left no emotional connection or picture. I know I went thru and graduated from 4 yr. college but have no memory of it. I lived in a room with my sister until I was 13, can't remember anything other than details of our physical space. Accomplishments don't register although I know there were some. I'm an old woman now.
Same here, I just found out 2 days ago I have SDAM and aphantasia and I am 51 yo! I worried about not having emotional connections with life events. Sometimes it can be a good thing, but I can't remember giving birth to my childeren, how they were as babies and so on. My past is as if it was someone else's life.
I really don’t have memories without some kind of trigger. I don’t remember people, places, events, etc. even with prompts, they are only snapshots, color photos, sometimes a sound memory instead of visual, other times a scent memory vs audio or visual but I can’t pull them up on my own. My children’s childhoods are lost to me as well. Really, anything, even a week ago is pretty much gone without prompts.
i find it extremely libarating. I also dont think there is a values in memories and its just sad that people hold on to them instead of experience new things without any baggage.
I have terrible autobiographical memory. Everhting older than a couple days is basically completely gone. I sometimes randomly remember significant things, like the fact I worked at a post office once, or that I stayed at a mental hospital for a while a couple years ago. All those memories seem so far away and if I didn't know factually that I experienced them, they might aswell be like a vague memory of a dream. Sometimes I wake up and everything feels so weird, like I seem to have this very real life with people in it and views and values and concepts, but yet I seem so distant from everything, like it could all be gone in a second and I wouldn't miss it, I'd rather look at it from the perspective of someone having found a neat book on their evening stroll, and losing it straight away. It's like "hmm, oh well". Not sure if that's solely aphantasia doing its thing
Such a relief after 58 years to find a name, and kindered souls. I tried to explain my memory problems to university departments in the 1990s. A phd thesis was written detailingn me, by Manchester Uni phd student, where the assumed association was attention and memory. Even Levine in the early 2000 via newsgroup said it could be attention seeking !!! My, how things change, and the experts , learn to become experts again, with their limited knowledge. This condition has been noted since the 19th century. (Francis Galton in 1880)
looks like north manchester maybe there Liam. I am 58 now and totally the same with some adhd thrown in for good measure. Nobody believes you , when you say "No, I got a really bad memory" they tend to say, so have I. Ha.
I heard about this from a TH-cam video, Googled it, and then came across this video. This is blowing my freaking mind, and I'm only 15 minutes into the video so far. The "snapshot" of memories...I've been saying that for decades. I've basically turned what people have told me into what my memory is made up of, and even then it's not much.
I only have snapshots and I can’t even say they are visual. I “know” the scan of the snapshot. I am blind to all senses and also stereo blind, I do not have depth perception and do not see in 3D.
I have total (no senses on my mind) Aphantasia and SDAM. I'm so glad I learned that I have a label for what I grew up with. I used to think I had some kind of teenage onset alzheimers or something with how bad my memory is.
It’s a strange disorder. Despite having full sdam i don’t feel like my memory is bad at all. It’s just bad at little details that i don’t take a special note of like a persons eye color.
I have it too. It started coming on about 15 years ago. I'm 68 now. I worked at Ford Motor for 34 years and can hardly remember any of it. I can't remember most things in my past. And I can't relive the emotions. On the good side I don't feel past emotional pain or resentment. Bad things don't haunt me. It forces me to have mindfullness.
Also, I forgot to mention, I will say “oh, let’s watch that”, and my husband says “we saw it”… and I say “did I like it? If he says yes, we watch it again. Not to make light of our condition, bit I get to enjoy new things again and again.
I have profound aphantasia and now I find I likely have SDAM. My natural response over the course of my life has been to develop my factual knowledge as compensation, to the point where I half-joke I know more about the lives of others than I can recall of my own. Now, midway through my PhD, I can recall all I've learned, but I already have very little memory of actually attending classes these last few years. Thankfully, highly specific memories get triggered involuntarily, so I do accumulate experience, otherwise I'd be sunk. Very useful presentation.
I score 0 on mental imagery tests, can't remember much detail about previous experiences other than I know I did something at some point. My earliest memories are from around age 10. I have no internal monologue, just a quiet mind. I find this stuff fascinating and would love to be part of research. Will have a look for any UK studies into this as aphantasia and SDAM I have without doubt.
Phew, this is quite a relief. I knew I had the aphantasia since my early 20s (though there was no name for it then). It didn’t worry me that much (I always thought it conferred advantages in abstract reasoning, good to see that confirmed!), but the lack of autobiographical memory thing really bugged me. Now I know I’m not broken, it’s just a part of the normal spectrum of human variance! I wouldn’t want to give up my ability to “see” generalisations fairly intuitively (and I couldn’t do my job if I did!), so I’ll happily accept the trade off! (Not that you can do anything to change it by the looks). Anyway, I still do worry about being old and not having any meaningful memories, but I guess I’ll just have to keep doing new things up until the end!
It's wonderful that you've found strengths in your ability to intuitively grasp generalizations. Life is indeed a spectrum of experiences, and while some aspects might seem challenging, they often come with their own set of advantages too. Thank you so much for sharing!
I found the weebly website about SDAM a few years back when I was looking up symptoms I have with memory. Matched almost exactly! I’ve realized I can sometimes remember things if I am told where we were in a room when it happened. So I can remember a bit better spatially. But the memory would be from a third person point of view if that makes sense. Besides that, there’s not great memory other than for facts/numbers, which helped incredibly in school (math major). But it makes for great movie watching because every time is like the first time!
Do you want to study aphantasia or sdam and how it relates to public speaking, making presentations and being able to continue a conversation ? To see what percentage can or can't ?
I literally found sdam yesterday and i have aphantasia too. I always saw myself off when i was with people just because they could remember most of what i couldn't,they could always be talking about something that happened last week or our time at a vacation and i knew i had gone there but physically in my head there was no way of saying i was there.I have broken my leg but I don't know how it feels like to break my leg.I have no specific favourite food or when someone asks me what gift I'd like, I don't have any cause my mind never really conjured up anything from my life that i like. Before learning about this i always thought it was normal for people to forget everything and i always saw it off when people told me to picture something in my mind,i could think of it but not physically see it in my mind. I feel the worst about this is that i will never relive a happy moment with any person i love and the fact that i can get over something much faster than other people,i feel so out of touch with my emotions but i do know i do love people but it even when i look in the mirror it's as if I'm looking at a new person each and every time. I'm happy that it can now be recognised but I'd never wish something like this fir another person
Memories are stored data. You use it to extract information for learning/problem-solving purposes. People constantly talking about memories and reliving them is completely pointless in and of itself, if it wasn't for the fact that they use these memories as a kind of drug to influence their physiological state by reliving past experiences. It's like watching a movie over and over again because it's more fun than actual current reality. I recommend Alan Watts
@@Nicoladen1 but if you have a good enough memory to remember the movie then the self gratification of enjoying the movie again,and again and again... wouldn't that seem to fade over time,for people like us who have no memories we have no forces willing us to give a particular judgement or a solution to a problem,since we can't relive our past decisions which we always choose the only one we have,the "now"...like living in the moment always
Me Too. You are not alone. We are not broken we are just different. I’m trying to focus more on the positive aspects of our condition. Less prone to PTSD, unable to relive horrible experiences like rape or family tragedy, we truly simply live in this moment then it’s gone, and I believe we can clear our minds better. I know I’m personally really good at problem solving because I rely less on past and look at the “current” situation.
@Adam Colt Yeah one thing I’ve noticed is that thinking stuff out for too long , for a project or a task or anything, for me is counterproductive. I tend to do better when I just start it and get a picture formed from the reality of doing it, rather than thinking about it for too long.
I have full spectrum aphantasia visual, sound, smell, taste and touch. I also have prosopagnosia. I have no idea of what people sound like (including my husband). I have no ability to imagine a smell or what something would feel like. I am unable to remember my past, the only memories I have are through the 1000's and 1000's of photographs I have taken. Looking back now (many years before the diagnosis) I wonder if there was something in my subconscious that drove me to record a huge part of everything I saw. I went on to do a photography degree, taking photos to cement the life that was happening around me.
Ha, this is me too. I would always get told "to enjoy the moment" when I was busy taking recordings or photos - I have tens of thousands of photos of my children - but now I realise that others had an innate ability to relive these.
So what I really want to know is - what is the brain doing with all the extra space and processing power? I have SDAM to the max level, I have no memories at all, just a handful of facts about my life, no real emotional memories though. So what is the brain doing with all that extra space? Is it just sitting there unused? Is it being used in a different way? Can we access that extra processing power somehow?
this is interesting but too much for me. At 8 i was hit by a car ,tbi swallowed my tongue and choked to death. and later have had several concussions. I have some of this as described, my wife will say remember this? no not at all. but then i have other memories that are in complete detail and i seem to have no control over it. When i was 6 i was learning to read music and play piano. after nothing there. i have no audio memory at all and i love music. been trying to learn guitar for 12 years but i cant play a single song. lol frustration. i also dont remember what i read for the most part some things stick but no control.
I have full aphantasia, ADHD and SDAM. I'm also on the high risk list for dementia, because I've had lifelong insomnia and sleep apnea. Basically my memory is pretty much every kind of broken. Honestly, I'm pretty angry about it.
I seem to have some form SDAM. I remember factual details, very very little if any emotional information / sensory information / visual information. I can tell you if you are wearing something I’ve never seen before over a 2 year period, but don’t ask me to describe anything you wore previously. I have Aphantasia, ASD, OSDD Type 1.B, and also Transgender for good measure. I’m also STEM / programmer. Extremely strong in object orientation analysis / abstractions.
I have SDAM and aphantasia. But if I look at a photograph I took on holiday/vacation years ago, I generally recognise it. So this implies some sort of visual memory, even if I can’t bring the image to mind.
I have maybe 30 seconds of memory of school through 1st to 12 grade. Regarding my life in general, I have memories, but not much. I remember the name of two people in High School and the name of no teachers at all from 1-12th grade. . I didn't realize I had a deficiency until I heard others talking about their school years and lives in general. It wasn't until I heard my niece recite the names of just about everyone she had attended school with. That was Alien to me. The thing is, you can't remember what you can't remember. So, I don't know there was a problem.+ P.S. Is there a correlation between ( SDAM) and Temporal Lobe Epilepsy?
I am wondering if increased lead exposure in childhood might be a risk factor for SDAM. Perhaps some effect on hippocampal development? My siblings and I all have SDAM and lived in an old Victorian home with presumably dodgy lead water pipes... Just a thought
You know you've got SDAM when you rely on other people telling stories of you just to know what happened in your past while pretending to remember it all. I'm guilty 😔 😅
I loved the slide on occupational overviews. I am a regulatory chemist that uses programming. Scripting, science and law combined. Another piece of this aphantasia/SDAM piece!
I can't believe I may have found what is "wrong" with me. What I wish is that I would have discovered this when the research would have been in it's 30th year or something- but I must say this seems to track with my mental experience pretty much down the line. All except the numbers (terrible at math) and I am not in any of the stem jobs, I'm a delivery driver... which I guess I can attribute to the spatial thing? 48 and JUST finding out about this. I WANT TO KNOW MORE!
My older cousin suffers from an extreme form of aphantasia as well as episodic memory disorder. She can't play memory, she never finds her way back and she had to work 10 x as much in school as the other students. To be honest, it almost killed her. She really hates it. She often said that this disorder turned her life into a material hell. People even think that she must be really dumb. It's good that it still worked out for you but it depends very much on how bad your aphantasia is. My cousin actually wishes for an upgrade, but this, she guesses, will never happen.
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When I remember stuff. I remember facts, in phrases. I don't see anything. Also, human benchmark says my visual memory is in the 2nd percentile. I'm not sure if that website is credible though, because it doesn't list scientists and qualifications. My sequence memory was in the 13th percentile and my number memory was in the 34th percentile. My aim was in the 13th percentile and my reaction time was in the 4th percentile. Do you know if any of these things are related to Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory. Or, do you want to study them ?
I can aim pretty well maybe cause i can see the actual spatial layout of the two and know by thought that that's where I'm aiming Sequence memory might be too low for me because I'll need to look at something a little while longer or do it abit more so that i can picture it with words later Visual memory for me personally I would give it a two out of hundred,i only quite see the outline of that memory
I don't have memories of my life. I've always been like this, since I was little. I'm so tired of family members or friends saying "do you remember when...". No. I don't. I was never on that place, I never had that conversation, It seems they were talking about another person, not me. It must be really nice to remember your own life. I have very few memories, and a big part of them are bad memories. I'm quite inteligent and have had good education with great grades, I always was at the top of my class.
I don't see things in my head. I cannot describe what I can't see. I am 80 now and It seems to me that my memory is about the same as it was as a child. yes I have lots of work arounds.
A tiny proportion of the population has hyperthymesia (from the Greek θύμηση, memory), or highly superior autobiographical memory. Unfortunately, instead of athymesia, people with severely deficient autobiographical memory land up with SDAM. Please call it athymesia.
I don't know why, but my eyeballs feel weird watching all this. Especially with charts and stuff. Lol I have no clue what the charts mean 😅. It feels too much for my brain or something. Whatever is behind my eyes feels tired. My eyeballs move more but I don't image at all. I think I'm different. If I'm understanding correctly. Feels too much data for my brain. Is there a way to contact you directly ? Same thing also happened when I had Neuropsychology tested. My eyes felt heavy and brain over loaded. We will get worse memory as we age ? Does this mean dementia ? I'm so confused. I feel overloaded and like I didn't take in much. 😔
Normal memory is able to experience memory in first person? Can any of this be trained away? I have known for some years now that my memory is not normal but I have not yet learned how it is not Normal.
Wow, interesting. Relate. I feel like every day I wake up I need to figure it out. As far as memories go I feel like I can only bring it up if I really sit back and work hard to think and it’s like I call it microfiche of the mind. Relate to the food critic in the movie. Don’t know about my emotions connected to them ??? Just within last week heard about sdam and aphantasia 💞💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻👊
I spent my entire life thinking that a memory is a general “knowing that something happened.” I had no idea that memories could be relived/experienced internally in vivid detail. I think that having SDAM is why I was drawn to the profession of audiovisual preservation and oral history. I thought that in order to capture a visual or auditory memory, it had to be stored externally in pictures, moving images and sound. I now want to explore how individual differences in experiencing memory (beyond the historical neuronormative approach) ought to influence the practices of archivists and oral historians.
This is what I have! It’s hard sometimes like when my husband says things like “remember when we went to Disneyland?” and I really, truly don’t. But I don’t think about it a lot in everyday. I have a good job in the legal field, am fairly intelligent, and raised two children, but I don’t remember them learning to walk, etc….. so glad to know I’m not alone!
I am able to tell stories of my past that sound almost like anecdotes, because I use autobiographical semantic memories to help me infer what must have happened.
Bingo
After telling anyone this about yourself, have you been told you don’t pay attention, or maybe you were abused as a child and that’s why you can’t remember? It’s so frustrating!!
It’s easier to just say you were abused
That's one of the reasons I'm so happy to find SDAM - I did believe there was some 'hidden trauma' in my life. But now I guess it's 'just' SDAM :)
I am the same way. Otherwise healthy but I cannot remember my childhood. I know what I’ve been told and have seen in pictures. But it kills me every day that I can’t tell my kids the things I liked at their ages.
I also have a horrible short term memory. Everyone who knows me calls me goldfish because of my memory haha
I found out that I had full aphantasia 2 years ago. Like many, I thought the 'mind's eye' was just a turn of phrase. I found out about SDAM last week, and I have now realised that those movie sequences of people being transported back in time by tastes, smells and sounds, was also a real thing. I have no memory of tastes or smells - each time I eat something that I like, it's a surprise how nice it tastes. I don't dream. My daughter is always asking me whether I like one song better than some other, and I have to ask her to play them back to back to decide. I can't remember textures or any other sensation. I can't remember the sound of my families voices, even if they have just been in the room. It explains so much, but I think I am also grieving a little for this ability that others apparently have.
Thank you for sharing. Discovering Aphantasia & SDAM and realizing its impact on your sensory experiences and memories can be quite the revelation. Feeling a mix of emotions is totally understandable. Just know you're not alone in this. There's a whole network of us "like-minds" ready to embrace your journey.
We sound related. You pretty much described this all the way I experience it. 😁
I have got SDAM. And others have it too. OMG. Always wondered why life events left no emotional connection or picture. I know I went thru and graduated from 4 yr. college but have no memory of it. I lived in a room with my sister until I was 13, can't remember anything other than details of our physical space. Accomplishments don't register although I know there were some. I'm an old woman now.
Same here, I just found out 2 days ago I have SDAM and aphantasia and I am 51 yo! I worried about not having emotional connections with life events. Sometimes it can be a good thing, but I can't remember giving birth to my childeren, how they were as babies and so on. My past is as if it was someone else's life.
@@jip7971 I feel the same. Like it was in a different lifetime or a dream idk
@@sparklingloveandlight Good to hear that I am not the only one. I sometimes even worried about having some sort of neurological problem 🙈
I really don’t have memories without some kind of trigger. I don’t remember people, places, events, etc. even with prompts, they are only snapshots, color photos, sometimes a sound memory instead of visual, other times a scent memory vs audio or visual but I can’t pull them up on my own. My children’s childhoods are lost to me as well. Really, anything, even a week ago is pretty much gone without prompts.
Me too ✋️ to all you said
i find it extremely libarating. I also dont think there is a values in memories and its just sad that people hold on to them instead of experience new things without any baggage.
I have terrible autobiographical memory. Everhting older than a couple days is basically completely gone. I sometimes randomly remember significant things, like the fact I worked at a post office once, or that I stayed at a mental hospital for a while a couple years ago. All those memories seem so far away and if I didn't know factually that I experienced them, they might aswell be like a vague memory of a dream. Sometimes I wake up and everything feels so weird, like I seem to have this very real life with people in it and views and values and concepts, but yet I seem so distant from everything, like it could all be gone in a second and I wouldn't miss it, I'd rather look at it from the perspective of someone having found a neat book on their evening stroll, and losing it straight away. It's like "hmm, oh well".
Not sure if that's solely aphantasia doing its thing
I'm the same way. Hugs 💖
Same here
Such a relief after 58 years to find a name, and kindered souls. I tried to explain my memory problems to university departments in the 1990s. A phd thesis was written detailingn me, by Manchester Uni phd student, where the assumed association was attention and memory. Even Levine in the early 2000 via newsgroup said it could be attention seeking !!! My, how things change, and the experts , learn to become experts again, with their limited knowledge. This condition has been noted since the 19th century. (Francis Galton in 1880)
looks like north manchester maybe there Liam. I am 58 now and totally the same with some adhd thrown in for good measure. Nobody believes you , when you say "No, I got a really bad memory" they tend to say, so have I. Ha.
I heard about this from a TH-cam video, Googled it, and then came across this video. This is blowing my freaking mind, and I'm only 15 minutes into the video so far. The "snapshot" of memories...I've been saying that for decades. I've basically turned what people have told me into what my memory is made up of, and even then it's not much.
I only have snapshots and I can’t even say they are visual. I “know” the scan of the snapshot. I am blind to all senses and also stereo blind, I do not have depth perception and do not see in 3D.
I have total (no senses on my mind) Aphantasia and SDAM. I'm so glad I learned that I have a label for what I grew up with. I used to think I had some kind of teenage onset alzheimers or something with how bad my memory is.
We're so glad you finally have a name, it can help to put things into perspective looking back. Stay tuned for more videos!
It’s a strange disorder. Despite having full sdam i don’t feel like my memory is bad at all. It’s just bad at little details that i don’t take a special note of like a persons eye color.
I have it too. It started coming on about 15 years ago. I'm 68 now. I worked at Ford Motor for 34 years and can hardly remember any of it. I can't remember most things in my past. And I can't relive the emotions. On the good side I don't feel past emotional pain or resentment. Bad things don't haunt me. It forces me to have mindfullness.
Also, I forgot to mention, I will say “oh, let’s watch that”, and my husband says “we saw it”… and I say “did I like it? If he says yes, we watch it again. Not to make light of our condition, bit I get to enjoy new things again and again.
This is interesting. I can recall if I did or did not like something, but I cannot to you why unless I've watched it several times before.
I have profound aphantasia and now I find I likely have SDAM. My natural response over the course of my life has been to develop my factual knowledge as compensation, to the point where I half-joke I know more about the lives of others than I can recall of my own.
Now, midway through my PhD, I can recall all I've learned, but I already have very little memory of actually attending classes these last few years. Thankfully, highly specific memories get triggered involuntarily, so I do accumulate experience, otherwise I'd be sunk.
Very useful presentation.
I score 0 on mental imagery tests, can't remember much detail about previous experiences other than I know I did something at some point. My earliest memories are from around age 10. I have no internal monologue, just a quiet mind.
I find this stuff fascinating and would love to be part of research. Will have a look for any UK studies into this as aphantasia and SDAM I have without doubt.
Same here. Glad researcher is catching up :)
Same here 😊
Phew, this is quite a relief. I knew I had the aphantasia since my early 20s (though there was no name for it then). It didn’t worry me that much (I always thought it conferred advantages in abstract reasoning, good to see that confirmed!), but the lack of autobiographical memory thing really bugged me. Now I know I’m not broken, it’s just a part of the normal spectrum of human variance!
I wouldn’t want to give up my ability to “see” generalisations fairly intuitively (and I couldn’t do my job if I did!), so I’ll happily accept the trade off! (Not that you can do anything to change it by the looks). Anyway, I still do worry about being old and not having any meaningful memories, but I guess I’ll just have to keep doing new things up until the end!
It's wonderful that you've found strengths in your ability to intuitively grasp generalizations. Life is indeed a spectrum of experiences, and while some aspects might seem challenging, they often come with their own set of advantages too. Thank you so much for sharing!
I found the weebly website about SDAM a few years back when I was looking up symptoms I have with memory. Matched almost exactly! I’ve realized I can sometimes remember things if I am told where we were in a room when it happened. So I can remember a bit better spatially. But the memory would be from a third person point of view if that makes sense. Besides that, there’s not great memory other than for facts/numbers, which helped incredibly in school (math major). But it makes for great movie watching because every time is like the first time!
Yes! Same!
Do you want to study aphantasia or sdam and how it relates to public speaking, making presentations and being able to continue a conversation ? To see what percentage can or can't ?
I have aphantasia and on the SDAM spectrum and I enjoy public speaking
@@lijohnyoutube101 ok
I literally found sdam yesterday and i have aphantasia too. I always saw myself off when i was with people just because they could remember most of what i couldn't,they could always be talking about something that happened last week or our time at a vacation and i knew i had gone there but physically in my head there was no way of saying i was there.I have broken my leg but I don't know how it feels like to break my leg.I have no specific favourite food or when someone asks me what gift I'd like, I don't have any cause my mind never really conjured up anything from my life that i like. Before learning about this i always thought it was normal for people to forget everything and i always saw it off when people told me to picture something in my mind,i could think of it but not physically see it in my mind. I feel the worst about this is that i will never relive a happy moment with any person i love and the fact that i can get over something much faster than other people,i feel so out of touch with my emotions but i do know i do love people but it even when i look in the mirror it's as if I'm looking at a new person each and every time. I'm happy that it can now be recognised but I'd never wish something like this fir another person
I'm with you. 💯 you're not alone. I have all what you said. My emotional brain 🧠 is more highlighted I feel though.
Memories are stored data. You use it to extract information for learning/problem-solving purposes. People constantly talking about memories and reliving them is completely pointless in and of itself, if it wasn't for the fact that they use these memories as a kind of drug to influence their physiological state by reliving past experiences. It's like watching a movie over and over again because it's more fun than actual current reality.
I recommend Alan Watts
@@Nicoladen1 but if you have a good enough memory to remember the movie then the self gratification of enjoying the movie again,and again and again... wouldn't that seem to fade over time,for people like us who have no memories we have no forces willing us to give a particular judgement or a solution to a problem,since we can't relive our past decisions which we always choose the only one we have,the "now"...like living in the moment always
Me Too. You are not alone. We are not broken we are just different. I’m trying to focus more on the positive aspects of our condition. Less prone to PTSD, unable to relive horrible experiences like rape or family tragedy, we truly simply live in this moment then it’s gone, and I believe we can clear our minds better. I know I’m personally really good at problem solving because I rely less on past and look at the “current” situation.
@Adam Colt
Yeah one thing I’ve noticed is that thinking stuff out for too long , for a project or a task or anything, for me is counterproductive.
I tend to do better when I just start it and get a picture formed from the reality of doing it, rather than thinking about it for too long.
I have full spectrum aphantasia visual, sound, smell, taste and touch. I also have prosopagnosia. I have no idea of what people sound like (including my husband). I have no ability to imagine a smell or what something would feel like. I am unable to remember my past, the only memories I have are through the 1000's and 1000's of photographs I have taken. Looking back now (many years before the diagnosis) I wonder if there was something in my subconscious that drove me to record a huge part of everything I saw. I went on to do a photography degree, taking photos to cement the life that was happening around me.
I use photos to “cement” memories. I can concentrate on the details of the photo, which makes it easier to “recall”. I am aphant wit SDAM
Yep multi module aphantasia also and on the low memory spectrum SDAM as well
Ha, this is me too. I would always get told "to enjoy the moment" when I was busy taking recordings or photos - I have tens of thousands of photos of my children - but now I realise that others had an innate ability to relive these.
So what I really want to know is - what is the brain doing with all the extra space and processing power? I have SDAM to the max level, I have no memories at all, just a handful of facts about my life, no real emotional memories though. So what is the brain doing with all that extra space? Is it just sitting there unused? Is it being used in a different way? Can we access that extra processing power somehow?
Everytime i look up this video i get a sense of dejavu 🤔
Also - apart from our ability to not get PTSD, what other super powers do we Aphantasians with SDAM have?
this is interesting but too much for me. At 8 i was hit by a car ,tbi swallowed my tongue and choked to death. and later have had several concussions. I have some of this as described, my wife will say remember this? no not at all. but then i have other memories that are in complete detail and i seem to have no control over it. When i was 6 i was learning to read music and play piano. after nothing there. i have no audio memory at all and i love music. been trying to learn guitar for 12 years but i cant play a single song. lol frustration. i also dont remember what i read for the most part some things stick but no control.
I have full aphantasia, ADHD and SDAM. I'm also on the high risk list for dementia, because I've had lifelong insomnia and sleep apnea. Basically my memory is pretty much every kind of broken. Honestly, I'm pretty angry about it.
Ditto
Me too. Adhd as well.
Hi, see this article.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7449056/
I seem to have some form SDAM. I remember factual details, very very little if any emotional information / sensory information / visual information. I can tell you if you are wearing something I’ve never seen before over a 2 year period, but don’t ask me to describe anything you wore previously. I have Aphantasia, ASD, OSDD Type 1.B, and also Transgender for good measure. I’m also STEM / programmer. Extremely strong in object orientation analysis / abstractions.
I have SDAM and aphantasia. But if I look at a photograph I took on holiday/vacation years ago, I generally recognise it. So this implies some sort of visual memory, even if I can’t bring the image to mind.
Thank you for researching all of this stuff. ( I'm still watching the video)
I have maybe 30 seconds of memory of school through 1st to 12 grade. Regarding my life in general, I have memories, but not much. I remember the name of two people in High School and the name of no teachers at all from 1-12th grade. . I didn't realize I had a deficiency until I heard others talking about their school years and lives in general. It wasn't until I heard my niece recite the names of just about everyone she had attended school with. That was Alien to me. The thing is, you can't remember what you can't remember. So, I don't know there was a problem.+ P.S. Is there a correlation between ( SDAM) and Temporal Lobe Epilepsy?
I am wondering if increased lead exposure in childhood might be a risk factor for SDAM. Perhaps some effect on hippocampal development? My siblings and I all have SDAM and lived in an old Victorian home with presumably dodgy lead water pipes... Just a thought
You know you've got SDAM when you rely on other people telling stories of you just to know what happened in your past while pretending to remember it all. I'm guilty 😔 😅
Haha, sounds like outsourcing memory storage! We all have our ways, right? 😉📦🧠
@@AphantasiaNetwork Right🤣 work smarter not harder lol
Me too!!
I loved the slide on occupational overviews.
I am a regulatory chemist that uses programming. Scripting, science and law combined. Another piece of this aphantasia/SDAM piece!
I can't believe I may have found what is "wrong" with me. What I wish is that I would have discovered this when the research would have been in it's 30th year or something- but I must say this seems to track with my mental experience pretty much down the line. All except the numbers (terrible at math) and I am not in any of the stem jobs, I'm a delivery driver... which I guess I can attribute to the spatial thing? 48 and JUST finding out about this. I WANT TO KNOW MORE!
Perfect timing!
People can just reexperience their past from a first-person perspective? Sounds absolutely bizarre.
My older cousin suffers from an extreme form of aphantasia as well as episodic memory disorder. She can't play memory, she never finds her way back and she had to work 10 x as much in school as the other students. To be honest, it almost killed her. She really hates it. She often said that this disorder turned her life into a material hell.
People even think that she must be really dumb.
It's good that it still worked out for you but it depends very much on how bad your aphantasia is. My cousin actually wishes for an upgrade, but this, she guesses, will never happen.
I would love to be involved in this research. I also, have memories that are distinctly not how other people describe theirs.
We appreciate your willingness to participate in new research. You can opt-in to get notified of new opportunities through our Network here: aphantasia.com/newsletter/
Do you know if the hippocampal subfield asymmetry in SDAM resembles some people with autism
When I remember stuff. I remember facts, in phrases. I don't see anything.
Also, human benchmark says my visual memory is in the 2nd percentile. I'm not sure if that website is credible though, because it doesn't list scientists and qualifications.
My sequence memory was in the 13th percentile and my number memory was in the 34th percentile.
My aim was in the 13th percentile and my reaction time was in the 4th percentile.
Do you know if any of these things are related to Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory. Or, do you want to study them ?
I can aim pretty well maybe cause i can see the actual spatial layout of the two and know by thought that that's where I'm aiming
Sequence memory might be too low for me because I'll need to look at something a little while longer or do it abit more so that i can picture it with words later
Visual memory for me personally I would give it a two out of hundred,i only quite see the outline of that memory
@@mickgonzales3766 okay.
My first D in highschool was to write an autobiography, it was a disaster and very painful not having substantial recall.
I don't have memories of my life. I've always been like this, since I was little. I'm so tired of family members or friends saying "do you remember when...". No. I don't. I was never on that place, I never had that conversation, It seems they were talking about another person, not me. It must be really nice to remember your own life. I have very few memories, and a big part of them are bad memories. I'm quite inteligent and have had good education with great grades, I always was at the top of my class.
I don't see things in my head. I cannot describe what I can't see. I am 80 now and It seems to me that my memory is about the same as it was as a child. yes I have lots of work arounds.
A tiny proportion of the population has hyperthymesia (from the Greek θύμηση, memory), or highly superior autobiographical memory.
Unfortunately, instead of athymesia, people with severely deficient autobiographical memory land up with SDAM.
Please call it athymesia.
I don't know why, but my eyeballs feel weird watching all this. Especially with charts and stuff. Lol I have no clue what the charts mean 😅. It feels too much for my brain or something. Whatever is behind my eyes feels tired. My eyeballs move more but I don't image at all. I think I'm different. If I'm understanding correctly. Feels too much data for my brain. Is there a way to contact you directly ? Same thing also happened when I had Neuropsychology tested. My eyes felt heavy and brain over loaded. We will get worse memory as we age ? Does this mean dementia ? I'm so confused. I feel overloaded and like I didn't take in much. 😔
I too find all the charts too full of data to make sense of it all
I like how you sparkle
@@EdwardPo lol 😆 right
Normal memory is able to experience memory in first person? Can any of this be trained away? I have known for some years now that my memory is not normal but I have not yet learned how it is not Normal.
So if you think you have sdam or aphantasia and it doeanr impact your daily life. Should you see anyone about it.
Wow, interesting. Relate. I feel like every day I wake up I need to figure it out. As far as memories go I feel like I can only bring it up if I really sit back and work hard to think and it’s like I call it microfiche of the mind. Relate to the food critic in the movie. Don’t know about my emotions connected to them ??? Just within last week heard about sdam and aphantasia 💞💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻👊
did anyone else get distracted and end up watching ratatouille