I think seeking Your own validation is one of the most rewarding and validating things You can ever experience - and it’s paramount to true satisfaction. But preventing Yourself from being able to celebrate with others deprives us of experiencing the joy of appreciation from others. Your own validation should absolutely come first, and telling everyone everything can be dangerous. But as Brene states in the video, it is a fundamental human desire to be recognized by others
I use to think that people wanted to see my life and hear my thoughts about things. Over time I learned that family and friends were envious of my success and no one really wanted to hear anything outside of what they already knew or believed. I got rid of Facebook and excessive information sharing in 2012 and now listen more than talk.
I talk more than anyone i know. I could talk about stuff with most people for what feels like unlimited time. But i dont talk about myself. I listen as almost all people start to talk about themselves. Its amazing how easily I can accumulate hours on hours of one on one time talking with people and learn their life story while they dont even seem to realise they know nothing about mine. I dont want to talk about myself anyway and enjoy listening so it always works out great.
Yeah and they even try to make their own assumptions and I wonder why they came to that opinion. Facebook is such a cesspool of superficialitys too. I stay off it.
Yes. I've only regretted oversharing, but never regretted not sharing enough. People can be so judgemental and critical which can impact your sense of self worth if you let it. Better off not sharing anything.
I was right with you; "Yes...yes...yes...wha?" That last line shows a rigidity, a black/white thinking in which I wish not to partake. Consider your silence a sign of monkhood, wherein for a while acceptance of self lets us sharpen our skills at picking who/when we do share more of ourselves. Don't think there's no love/intimacy for you in life! That's just too sad, and unnecessary I believe
@@dollarsmum3453I think that honing our skills at who to trust doesn’t work. We still get manipulated and out maneuvered. The Monk way might be a better choice.
oh, tell me about it! I tried explaining myself whole life to people who least cared but benefited from me per their needs. I asked Jesus Christ to help me out in shutting my mouth and leave it to him for judgement.
I reluctantly read the 48 laws of power and discovered I constantly violated 3 of the lsws all the time one of them being i tended to share my plans with others. I wouldn't commit to never sharing with everyone because there are some who can be trusted and not trusting evdryone could put you in a horrible hesdspace
I doubt swine would do that, but people sure would. Let’s call a spade a spade and a person a person and leave the animals out of it. They don’t do this crap; people do.
When i immigrated to America, I was surprised at how much personal information people would share with strangers they just met. I come from a culture where we're very private. No one at my job knew I was pregnant until 2 weeks b4 giving birth. Most of my friends don't know about what I deal with privately, even some things like death of family, career change or promotions are things I don't share. People like using our personal information as weapons against us.
That is taking things too extreme. You need to tell your bosses you are pregnant or dealing with a loss in your family, not because you value privacy but because you need your leave entitlements e.g. the maternity leave or compassionate leave.
My dad loves to over share his life with others, and by others I mean complete strangers that he has just met a few minutes ago. I feel that my dad is one of those rare pure beings that has the ability to retain childlike innocence no matter what life throws at him, and the side effects of that is that we, his family, must be on our guard whenever dad is in a social situation less he gets taken advantage of by opportunistic people who prey on his trust and openness.
I have learned this as I get older and it’s wonderful. I hold most people at a distance unless you’re really a close friend or family. I have been told I’m difficult to get to know and I consider that a compliment.
Im in sales and have been forced positive but the majority of people I come across I consider scum.. why? Theit goal is to win, to beat me, to feel superior and take take but turn their back as soon as you need something of effort
As a lonely person i tend to over share when i have an audience. It scares people off. Also it gives people fuel to use against me. It took a long time for me to realize that, also if i overshare my intelligence it challenges people and then they feel threatened by the thought they are not more intelligent, and it makes it harder to befriend them
Frankly, it's not only "not everyone", it's actually "basically no one". After years of thr most excruciating painful therapy journey, I have met maybe 2 people who understand me (as opposed to me who now understands most people much better). It's a lonely island to sit on. If I had known this loneliness before starting it all, I probably wouldn't have done it.
When you share too much, you open yourself to advice you didn't ask for. I once believed that sharing meant connection. It doesn't mean that. People earn their friendship by showing respect for you and the relationship
I have 3 life lessons I experience myself and hope it'll help someone: 1) Do not attach - everyone come to your life is a partner only, not someone you should depend or cling on. So enjoy the time with them but do not afraid to be apart one day. Walk your own path. 2) Trust nobody - Everyman for themselves. Even you hang out with someone for some personal reasons. Then why do you expect them not too? like in this video, keep important things in life to yourself, don't tell everything. 3) Work hard, and reward yourself. Balance between work and life is very important. It fuels you up to start fresh everyday and keep you moving. Try new hobby every month at least. Go out do something on day off. Don't limit yoursef to workplace and home.
I agree with your points except number 3 - being limited to work & home. I don't want to be but I'm too tired for anything else. If you know a way to overcome this please share.
You’ve been betrayed a lot and your lessons stem from trauma. One thing is not to trust everyone but to say trust nobody is unhealthy. You need a few or at least one close person you can trust. And trust Jesus if you’re Christian.
This is how I live it is amazing ❤ I see people now and it is like they are begging for acceptance, validation and it comes across so sad! Do it for you ❤
I was one of them a minute ago. Not anymore. Thanks. I now understand what to share and what not to share. Some just can’t handle their own depth, let alone yours. 😂
Someone below replied " I'm especially guarding from family." Wow, You are beautifully& wisely civilized as you knew this ultimate prince. Cuz no one can ever hurt you more than your loved ones. so they are not exceptional. Remember that.
A still tongue keep a wise head. I heard that growing up from my mom regularly, and she is 100% correct. Absolutely believe talking too much can lead to some people sabotaging you who are insecure, jealous and generally don't have good intentions, because they don't want you to realize your dreams. Also, over sharing can be weaponized against you when people want to do you harm. Unfortunately, some people don't want the best for you & definitely don't want you to level up beyond them. Share wisely and only with a few. I believe silence is a great protective weapon, & can destabilize your enemies.
Be a mystery. Make people wonder what you are doing, where you are. Show people how little you care about needing attention. Show people how comfortable you are not announcing what you are doing, thinking, or planning. Be that friend who is too busy, too focused on yourself and inner circle. Get satisfaction hearing things like "what have you been up to, I don't see you anymore". See yourself as a commodity. A celebrity. Someone who is far too busy, and secretive, because your prefer less attention. Make people crave more of you because you have no need to keep them updated. Be ok with no one knowing you personally. Surprise acquaintances with your accomplishments because they had no idea you were even working on something. Remember birthdays, send Christmas cards, send texts to congratulate others, showing your character and actual caring, then go right back to disappearing on them, remaining a mystery. That elevates yourself.
Sounds too narcissistic. Be there for friends and family, but remember your boundaries/set them. Try to not act, instead be true (as much as is possible/safe in any given situation). Sometimes our striving to be "appropriate" leads to huge tension.
I think sharing only what you'd be ok with in a crowd. But, I also feel if you keep your thoughts too close to the vest, you can never have a true friend. I have 3 best friends that I trust would never repeat to others what I've shared with them over the years. I have other women I have regrets that I shared too much with. It's a fine line to walk. Because if you never go deep, you will also never have best friends to count on. True friendship takes time.
i can't control it to share my feelings with others..I always think that the other person is also genuine and pure hearted and most of the time these people just are opportunist with our emotions..I should control
I wouldn`t call that a failure. More like learning. But hey. Seriously. If you need to interpret it as failure then that is your learning process. Yours. What is yours ? And what belongs to others ? What should be secret ? And when ? If in doubt. Pray. The Universal Mind (G+D etc , I am a believer but not a religionist) doesn`t judge us for not remembering to pray. Doesn`t judge us for forgetting what the peasants in the 14th Century knew better than us with all our technology and laws. That there is a LoVe. Called G+D
Spirituality is creating your own reality by learning from your stepping stones and raising your vibration to be your best self and achieve your mission goals in this lifetime.
actually this makes alot sense to me... i kind of live like that whithout even being aware of the tradition. it just feels natural to me... i mean most religions are more about power and control then anything else ... they lost the essence ... think those 4 core principles are the essence and also the reason why its just healthy to choose to live by thees "values". ... ...being spiritual not religeous... doing the right thing for the greater good not just for personal gain... no need to live on your knees as long you dont put those close to you down. dont be so greedy. there would be enough for all of us... but yo i guess every herd got its black sheep but the european mind is more down whith the devil, the EGO ... false light blindet by there beauty lol. ..who are the real Savages? not everything that shines is gold... the devil is a liar. no matter which shade of brown or whatever... positiv giving or Negative taking... balance just some thoughts and thnx for providing these infos. PEACE out & greetings from Germany
I keep sharing my feelings and emotions with other people. If you cant see someone on a personal level, you cannot relate. That’s why people are curious to know stories about famous people. Yes, we need to be careful. But at the end of the day, it is about being who you are. If you feel good after sharing, do it. Else, don’t. The crux is to share because you WANT to but not because you HAVE to
I have definitely learned from experience working not to share anything personal. It just creates an opportunity for gossip, jealousy, or them holding the information to throw back at you later...and if they are jealous, it's only a matter of time. This also goes for experience, educational attainment, and previous employment as sad as it may be in the professional environment.
As the youngest in a family of 10, my siblings were always running my life. They gave input into every aspect of it, even how I should raise my child. They also felt that they could infringe on my privacy at will. I finally put an end to that several years ago and I feel so much better and mature.
When I was around 18 I told my cousin an insecurity of mine. The next day a couple of people asked me about said insecurity. Needless to say, I don’t share much about myself ever since that day
I do not want to share but ppl keep asking 😂like coworkers, bosses, acquaintances etc. keeping quiet is just not that easy without being rude or secretive. I’ve become less close with lots of people since I start to do this
This is great advice, especially for empaths. At least 10% of the worlds population of narcissist and will go out of their way to use everything you tell them against you. There is evil in this world so you have to be cautious.
I equally live like this and it’s taken so much deep inner reflection to validate what is right for me. It takes courage to live like this as others often misinterpret why you’re not sharing. They take it personally when it has nothing to do with them. Growth and self mastery is an individual journey that’s yours and yours alone.
Be careful of sharing especially at mandated work trainings where oversharing is at times required. What you share can and probably will be used against you.
That’s true, including your siblings. Learnt it the hard way. I used to share my financial situation as though it was a duty to report. My own siblings never shared their information and they were making investments without telling me. I learnt this from their party. They started treating me as a scape goat for their emotional needs and I didn’t know us for a while. Better late than never. Glad I knew their real face and now stay away from them.
There are some who resent that you hold yourself close! Sometimes they think you are some kind of snob or something. These days of Social media everyone's life is an open book and I can't really get comfortable with it all. Some focus on promoting their fame or career, then personal life separate, but still. If you open up, just make sure the other person does too or does not ignore you being your genuine self.
I show people who I am and tell people who i am so i can look at people's reactions. I watch people very closely. It's the best way to filter and organize people i meet. I don't waste my time by putting up a walk between. people who they think i am. Because people assume at first and they often assume wrong. I used to be like you but then I found myself wasting time, sometimes years with the wrong people.
I think there is balance within authenticity. Be yourself share what you’d like and understand it’s ok and normal for other not to like you, if anything it’s a great sign that your being yourself and not molding to societies expectations. Be you, be real and don’t let other’s perspective get in your head. Shrug it off and continue on. Thats been my motto and it’s been doing wonders.
My initial thought about this was some of Brene's Brown first talks that I was aware of how to do with being vulnerable.. the irony I felt when she came full circle, saying we don't need to share everythingwith other people. Love it because both are true. The balance and finesse of what to share and what to hold close and sacred...❤
Thank you Jesus for spiritual discernment and wisdom so I understand what people's true intentions are🌾. God help us to hold our tongue and not expose our life, Amen
She's basically describing an introvert. Like me! Been like this all my life. I don't quite agree with her philosophy because sometimes it's nice to share a little more than sharing what you did on the weekend 😅. It makes people open up to you.
One thing I’ve learned is that people ain’t sh*t. And you’ll find that out the moment you share personal things about yourself, even if it was for purpose to help them out with their own situation which isn’t remotely as tough as what you shared with them.
Weather one admits it or not everyone needs understanding. If you have it from some people in you life you are more lucky than you might know. If you even have the memories of someone who really understood you then that can sustain a person the rest of their life and they look to others as if they are going it alone. The narrator says in first five minutes that not coming from a place of not needing understanding and validation from others is a goal and if she means with some people not all people then ok but thinking one is immune to that need from anyone creates false and unhealthy psychological expectations and causes people to see others looking like they are alone and wondering why they themselves are so lonely and needy; it can become a perpetual cycle, downward spiral. Especially with elderly and children take time to get to know others, be curious and step out of yourself..its ok you’ll still be there when you stop. Narrator obviously says many good things AND when good mixed with not so good or major omissions it is more potentially damaging than someone who hasn’t much wisdom at all. With people being as mobile as we are today and distracted with so much information it is very difficult to get the healthy amount of understanding and frankly our species could use being a bit more deep cause the shallowness is killing our ecosystems, physical and social.
Ive been binging yt videos at expense if my exams but I'm happy to have met this post. Its just explains so much I haven't been able to explain myself. Makes so much sense
It absolutely does matter, it's using someone elses voice. Imagine hearing a Hitler speech through Alan Watt's voice. Most people aren't smart enough to discern and believe whatever is in front of them. Reality matters!
Agree. My "friend" just use my info against me. Nice. When I turned against them, I was still the wrong one. But I am thankful it happened coz I don't need to them my existence anymore. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot.
The part about staying in relationships because they look good…. But only from the outside. I stayed with someone for 2 years and was unhappy for majority of it. I thought I’m in my 30s I should settle down and make it work. However it was rapidly making me depressed. I woke up one day and said enough is enough and found my strength to leave. I do not have to conform to what society conveys is normal. One day I’ll find a partner and if not so be it, but for now I’m okay and happy being alone. It’s very peaceful and liberating to focus on yourself. And about not sharing, I never tell people my age. Women at work can’t stand this about me lol but I’m not sure why it matters so much to them 🤷🏽♀️. I don’t speak about my relationship status either. I keep it real surface, but enough to be considered friendly and somewhat forthcoming.
Remember, most people you know have already formed their opinion of you, so it's a waste of time and energy to try and convince them of anything other than what they believe. This is especially true of family.
don't excessively or readily give away all your knowledge or insights to others, as it can diminish its value, make you appear boastful, and potentially hinder the growth and learning of those around you; instead, share your wisdom thoughtfully, based on the situation and the person asking, allowing for a more meaningful exchange. .....
So good, this idea of our own "treasure" and "depth." I have struggled with the idea of being "authentic" and in so doing, am sure that I've overshared. It's so good to have this practical wisdom.
My coworkers probed me about certain things about myself age birthday kids etc like please go away I don’t wanna talk! They just talk away unfiltered about their marriage kids purchases etc etc it’s exhausting
Dump / Delete Facebook. I did 9 months ago. Deleting Facebook was like a giant weight lifted off my back. It's a great feeling to become anonymous again. Should've done this 10 or 15 years ago.
very Valuable truth....and the things people put on social media are tragic.....anything for attention.....peace and tranquility.....are worth more than gold
I don’t think it matters about boundaries or what you say to people. They will always interpret it in their own way to fit their fancy! It’s taken a lifetime for me to realize who I really am without listening to all the hot air people give out to so-called help you. The most I learned about myself over the years is what I learned most about others. But I need to continue to learn about myself without hearing listening to others. That just keeps my mind too busy I’m not helpful. So much noise and hot air comes out of one hole. Why do we waste so much of our time?
I now share enough information with new people I meet to avoid beginning frienships with people who have values I deplore. Nothing is more painful than have had invested years in a marriage and friendships only to find out that they were not "kindred spirits" because they have opposite beliefs and are lacking empathy toward others.
Our prophet Mohamed peace open him, Sayed the same thing ' don't share 3 thing with people 1 your future plan and travel 2 how much is your salary 3 don't share your success with everyone
For years, I have always prized transparent as a good merit until recently. It fits with human nature to keep the Depth space for oneself even not to your close one, as not everyone is lucky enough to find their real soulmate.
Thank you! I needed this! I have told others too much about myself with a result of receiving criticism, ridicule, or being told what I have got to do with my life. I have learned to keep things more to myself. This post resonates what I have learned.
Good for you! Unless it puts you in physical, financial or, spiritual danger, who really cares what other people think if they use your open nature against you - it just shows their true character and then maybe pray for them to become more righteous people
We need to get comfortable telling people that what the question they just asked is 'not your business' - Saying it plainly, without emotion, but firmly, is often enough, but if they get offended and start questioning, ask them WHY they feel entitled to ask about your personal business.
I still regret speaking at a Christian women's conference. I shared a highly personal struggle. Years later the pastor's wife and other church members used that knowledge to hurt my family and me. Never again will I make that mistake.
keep something untouched, a safe space to reconnect to yourself and nurture it. there is no greater freedom than living a life where your story shaped not by applause of others, but by the quiet contentment of knowing you stay true to yourself.
The most people know about you, the most tools they have to attack you
yes, everyone wants as much control as they can get over you.
💯
After experiencing betrayal, I learned to keep everything to myself.
Work in silence. Celebrate in silence. You dont need another person’s validation.
You let one person do that to do?
They win
yes! if u fly high, others are only weights that drag u down.
Yes. Same 🎉
Ljudi su društvena biča i ne bi trebali živjeti u krletki
I think seeking Your own validation is one of the most rewarding and validating things You can ever experience - and it’s paramount to true satisfaction. But preventing Yourself from being able to celebrate with others deprives us of experiencing the joy of appreciation from others. Your own validation should absolutely come first, and telling everyone everything can be dangerous. But as Brene states in the video, it is a fundamental human desire to be recognized by others
Privacy and peace of mind are priceless.
Jesus, privacy, peace of mind and not needing the validation of others. X
I use to think that people wanted to see my life and hear my thoughts about things. Over time I learned that family and friends were envious of my success and no one really wanted to hear anything outside of what they already knew or believed.
I got rid of Facebook and excessive information sharing in 2012 and now listen more than talk.
I feel the same way
I talk more than anyone i know. I could talk about stuff with most people for what feels like unlimited time. But i dont talk about myself. I listen as almost all people start to talk about themselves. Its amazing how easily I can accumulate hours on hours of one on one time talking with people and learn their life story while they dont even seem to realise they know nothing about mine. I dont want to talk about myself anyway and enjoy listening so it always works out great.
In 2012? Amazing
It's that very moment that you realize you can only count on yourself.at first is scary but then is liberating.
@@user97745 Yes, thanks. I started reading about the Eightfold Path, particularly about "right speech." That helped.
Less said, less regret.
I wished I learned this lesson much earlier in life. Just because you can keep a secret, does not mean others will do the same.
Yessss that’s so true… they will talk about you then turn around and then ask for your advice 🧐
Yes, be careful about sharing. Some will use it against you.
Pray for wisdom and discernment!
good
Yes absolutely agree.
@Callsign-Blade_RunnerSG 👍👍
How?
Even my closest family used what I told her and against me when we argue
Not everyone needs to know everything about you ❤
Yeah and they even try to make their own assumptions and I wonder why they came to that opinion. Facebook is such a cesspool of superficialitys too. I stay off it.
Some people will not hear you no matter how much you explain yourself and it's not because they can't hear.
Yes. I've only regretted oversharing, but never regretted not sharing enough. People can be so judgemental and critical which can impact your sense of self worth if you let it. Better off not sharing anything.
I was right with you; "Yes...yes...yes...wha?" That last line shows a rigidity, a black/white thinking in which I wish not to partake. Consider your silence a sign of monkhood, wherein for a while acceptance of self lets us sharpen our skills at picking who/when we do share more of ourselves. Don't think there's no love/intimacy for you in life! That's just too sad, and unnecessary I believe
@@dollarsmum3453I think that honing our skills at who to trust doesn’t work. We still get manipulated and out maneuvered. The Monk way might be a better choice.
That's a great first point.
oh, tell me about it! I tried explaining myself whole life to people who least cared but benefited from me per their needs. I asked Jesus Christ to help me out in shutting my mouth and leave it to him for judgement.
I reluctantly read the 48 laws of power and discovered I constantly violated 3 of the lsws all the time one of them being i tended to share my plans with others. I wouldn't commit to never sharing with everyone because there are some who can be trusted and not trusting evdryone could put you in a horrible hesdspace
My grandma and mother used to say this in less words. “Keep them folks out of your business”…it’s for your peace of mind.
Do not cast pearls before swine,
For they will trample them,
Then turn and attack you.
💯
Truth 😂
spot on ..God Bless You !
I doubt swine would do that, but people sure would. Let’s call a spade a spade and a person a person and leave the animals out of it. They don’t do this crap; people do.
@ oh dear - you don’t understand analogies do you?
When i immigrated to America, I was surprised at how much personal information people would share with strangers they just met. I come from a culture where we're very private. No one at my job knew I was pregnant until 2 weeks b4 giving birth. Most of my friends don't know about what I deal with privately, even some things like death of family, career change or promotions are things I don't share. People like using our personal information as weapons against us.
If you are Nigerian, I'm sure you big up yourself for travelling in secrecy
Just curious, what culture are you from?
which country? America has 35 countries.
That is taking things too extreme. You need to tell your bosses you are pregnant or dealing with a loss in your family, not because you value privacy but because you need your leave entitlements e.g. the maternity leave or compassionate leave.
How could people not know you were pregnant 2 weeks before giving birth when you were clearly showing? 🤔
Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it"!! 🙏🏻
True , but is that Proverb more about guarding against incoming influences, rather than keeping some things private? Can be both
@williamchamberlain2263 Yes, William!! I think it applies for both!! Blessings!! 🙏🏻
@@felixmonica02 that's why we need to discern accordingly. it's wisdom. God is the begining of wisdom.To know God is to have wisdom. God bless you.
Well, at least the writer of that proverb didn't have to spend 37 minutes hammering away at one point.
My dad loves to over share his life with others, and by others I mean complete strangers that he has just met a few minutes ago. I feel that my dad is one of those rare pure beings that has the ability to retain childlike innocence no matter what life throws at him, and the side effects of that is that we, his family, must be on our guard whenever dad is in a social situation less he gets taken advantage of by opportunistic people who prey on his trust and openness.
But isn’t this beautiful to be as authentic one can. Im like that. I love such people.
@@divyadiva84it is beautiful but dangerous cause not everyone is like u and I
I'm like that too, but gradually quietened down a bit now xx
It's because we're honest and trustworthy and we think everyone else is the same but of course it isn't necessarily the case. Bless xx
@@yvonnelesleybrigenshaw950 so true
I’m an introvert. This comes naturally.
😂
100%
Same.
You are lucky, us extroverts had to learn the hard way 😢
Exactly.
I have learned this as I get older and it’s wonderful. I hold most people at a distance unless you’re really a close friend or family. I have been told I’m difficult to get to know and I consider that a compliment.
I don't interpret that "distant" and "difficult" as compliment, unfortunately. I think it is very insecured
@@MeganVincent-tl4tg I am especially guarding from family.
This is good!
Im in sales and have been forced positive but the majority of people I come across I consider scum.. why? Theit goal is to win, to beat me, to feel superior and take take but turn their back as soon as you need something of effort
I'm open to immediate family but guarded in front of everyone else
Only ever share with someone who cares and loves you. Everybody else will use it against you.
As a lonely person i tend to over share when i have an audience. It scares people off. Also it gives people fuel to use against me.
It took a long time for me to realize that, also if i overshare my intelligence it challenges people and then they feel threatened by the thought they are not more intelligent, and it makes it harder to befriend them
There are kind, sincere people and there are users and psychic vampires. Use discretion.
Sharing is also a form of self expression.. it's ok to feel the need to be understood.
That's such a great point about intelligence.
Frankly, it's not only "not everyone", it's actually "basically no one". After years of thr most excruciating painful therapy journey, I have met maybe 2 people who understand me (as opposed to me who now understands most people much better). It's a lonely island to sit on. If I had known this loneliness before starting it all, I probably wouldn't have done it.
This is a planet of humans who are social creatures who live on islands on an overcrowded world. It's a pathetic sad world we live in.
When you share too much, you open yourself to advice you didn't ask for. I once believed that sharing meant connection. It doesn't mean that. People earn their friendship by showing respect for you and the relationship
עוד דבר שאפשר ללמוד מAI . תזרום בחיוב ואל תהיה שיפוטי..
I have 3 life lessons I experience myself and hope it'll help someone:
1) Do not attach - everyone come to your life is a partner only, not someone you should depend or cling on. So enjoy the time with them but do not afraid to be apart one day. Walk your own path.
2) Trust nobody - Everyman for themselves. Even you hang out with someone for some personal reasons. Then why do you expect them not too? like in this video, keep important things in life to yourself, don't tell everything.
3) Work hard, and reward yourself. Balance between work and life is very important. It fuels you up to start fresh everyday and keep you moving. Try new hobby every month at least. Go out do something on day off. Don't limit yoursef to workplace and home.
Thanks for sharing
I agree with your points except number 3 - being limited to work & home. I don't want to be but I'm too tired for anything else. If you know a way to overcome this please share.
You’ve been betrayed a lot and your lessons stem from trauma. One thing is not to trust everyone but to say trust nobody is unhealthy. You need a few or at least one close person you can trust. And trust Jesus if you’re Christian.
This is how I live it is amazing ❤ I see people now and it is like they are begging for acceptance, validation and it comes across so sad! Do it for you ❤
💯 it is a sad thing.
Oh this is what I was talking about..😬 please be careful not to assume that about everyone.
I was one of them a minute ago. Not anymore. Thanks. I now understand what to share and what not to share. Some just can’t handle their own depth, let alone yours. 😂
& I qoute, "Do it for You!"
@@danielMN same. i just did now
Someone below replied " I'm especially guarding from family." Wow, You are beautifully& wisely civilized as you knew this ultimate prince. Cuz no one can ever hurt you more than your loved ones. so they are not exceptional. Remember that.
A still tongue keep a wise head. I heard that growing up from my mom regularly, and she is 100% correct. Absolutely believe talking too much can lead to some people sabotaging you who are insecure, jealous and generally don't have good intentions, because they don't want you to realize your dreams. Also, over sharing can be weaponized against you when people want to do you harm. Unfortunately, some people don't want the best for you & definitely don't want you to level up beyond them. Share wisely and only with a few. I believe silence is a great protective weapon, & can destabilize your enemies.
Be a mystery. Make people wonder what you are doing, where you are. Show people how little you care about needing attention. Show people how comfortable you are not announcing what you are doing, thinking, or planning. Be that friend who is too busy, too focused on yourself and inner circle. Get satisfaction hearing things like "what have you been up to, I don't see you anymore". See yourself as a commodity. A celebrity. Someone who is far too busy, and secretive, because your prefer less attention. Make people crave more of you because you have no need to keep them updated. Be ok with no one knowing you personally. Surprise acquaintances with your accomplishments because they had no idea you were even working on something. Remember birthdays, send Christmas cards, send texts to congratulate others, showing your character and actual caring, then go right back to disappearing on them, remaining a mystery. That elevates yourself.
Sounds too narcissistic. Be there for friends and family, but remember your boundaries/set them. Try to not act, instead be true (as much as is possible/safe in any given situation). Sometimes our striving to be "appropriate" leads to huge tension.
בסוף הסלבים האמיתיים הם האנשים האנונימיים... לקחת למפורסמים את החשק לחיות😅
It is not only for social media but also in real life. Set boundaries and it benefits your soul and self.
I think sharing only what you'd be ok with in a crowd. But, I also feel if you keep your thoughts too close to the vest, you can never have a true friend. I have 3 best friends that I trust would never repeat to others what I've shared with them over the years. I have other women I have regrets that I shared too much with. It's a fine line to walk. Because if you never go deep, you will also never have best friends to count on. True friendship takes time.
Very true. I agree .
Yes, but sometimes there is no true friend to be had...sharing with someone whom you're close to (but not close enough) can be dangerous.
Once the AI voice kicked in all correct emphasis within sentences was lost and with it, the power of the message.
i can't control it to share my feelings with others..I always think that the other person is also genuine and pure hearted and most of the time these people just are opportunist with our emotions..I should control
I’m to that point now also .. 😮
this is why i always fail :( but its a relief hearing that: there is nothing wrong with wanting to be seen or understood that's a human desire
I wouldn`t call that a failure. More like learning. But hey. Seriously. If you need to interpret it as failure then that is your learning process. Yours. What is yours ? And what belongs to others ? What should be secret ? And when ? If in doubt. Pray. The Universal Mind (G+D etc , I am a believer but not a religionist) doesn`t judge us for not remembering to pray. Doesn`t judge us for forgetting what the peasants in the 14th Century knew better than us with all our technology and laws. That there is a LoVe. Called G+D
Spirituality is creating your own reality by learning from your stepping stones and raising your vibration to be your best self and achieve your mission goals in this lifetime.
actually this makes alot sense to me... i kind of live like that whithout even being aware of the tradition. it just feels natural to me... i mean most religions are more about power and control then anything else ... they lost the essence ... think those 4 core principles are the essence and also the reason why its just healthy to choose to live by thees
"values". ...
...being spiritual not religeous... doing
the right thing for the greater good not just for personal gain... no need to live on your knees as long you dont put those close to you down. dont be so greedy. there would be enough for all of us... but yo i guess every herd got its black sheep but the european mind is more down whith the devil, the EGO ... false light blindet by there beauty lol.
..who are the real
Savages? not everything that shines is gold... the devil is a liar. no matter which shade of brown or whatever... positiv giving or Negative taking...
balance just some thoughts and thnx for providing these infos. PEACE out & greetings from Germany
Please can someone recommend any spiritual therapist?
Is she on TikTok?
Does she take spiritual consultations?
Wait What do you mean 1.your stepping stones 2.raising your vibration. That sounds like something I want to know about>>> Thank you in advance
I keep sharing my feelings and emotions with other people. If you cant see someone on a personal level, you cannot relate. That’s why people are curious to know stories about famous people. Yes, we need to be careful. But at the end of the day, it is about being who you are. If you feel good after sharing, do it. Else, don’t.
The crux is to share because you WANT to but not because you HAVE to
I have definitely learned from experience working not to share anything personal. It just creates an opportunity for gossip, jealousy, or them holding the information to throw back at you later...and if they are jealous, it's only a matter of time. This also goes for experience, educational attainment, and previous employment as sad as it may be in the professional environment.
I have my Facebook closed now after watching this. Thank you ❤❤❤
Closed mine 5 years ago 😅
Best decision 👍
As the youngest in a family of 10, my siblings were always running my life. They gave input into every aspect of it, even how I should raise my child. They also felt that they could infringe on my privacy at will. I finally put an end to that several years ago and I feel so much better and mature.
When I was around 18 I told my cousin an insecurity of mine. The next day a couple of people asked me about said insecurity. Needless to say, I don’t share much about myself ever since that day
Happy you took the lesson with you since 18!
תודה על השיתוף.
Initially she was an advocate of risking being vulnerable with others. That transparency will beget a good life. I am glad to hear this clarification
This is a jewel, a golden nugget. Thank you.
I do not want to share but ppl keep asking 😂like coworkers, bosses, acquaintances etc. keeping quiet is just not that easy without being rude or secretive. I’ve become less close with lots of people since I start to do this
What do they ask ?
People in workplaces are nosy. No real reason other than that.@@aabbas7519
At least people aak. No one cares about me enough to check in genuinely.
This is great advice, especially for empaths. At least 10% of the worlds population of narcissist and will go out of their way to use everything you tell them against you. There is evil in this world so you have to be cautious.
You have to give to yourself first before you can give to others
So simple, but so true, enjoy it first yourself them explore it and share it
This video has found me at right time....new lesson to be learned...
I equally live like this and it’s taken so much deep inner reflection to validate what is right for me.
It takes courage to live like this as others often misinterpret why you’re not sharing. They take it personally when it has nothing to do with them.
Growth and self mastery is an individual journey that’s yours and yours alone.
I experienced choosing what's best for me even if everybody's against me. And I never regretted my choice.
Be careful of sharing especially at mandated work trainings where oversharing is at times required. What you share can and probably will be used against you.
This is so important. A lot of people aways showing your life (sometimes fake) in social media.
It's a sad reality check and a good reminder.
That’s true, including your siblings. Learnt it the hard way. I used to share my financial situation as though it was a duty to report. My own siblings never shared their information and they were making investments without telling me. I learnt this from their party. They started treating me as a scape goat for their emotional needs and I didn’t know us for a while. Better late than never. Glad I knew their real face and now stay away from them.
There are some who resent that you hold yourself close! Sometimes they think you are some kind of snob or something. These days of Social media everyone's life is an open book and I can't really get comfortable with it all. Some focus on promoting their fame or career, then personal life separate, but still. If you open up, just make sure the other person does too or does not ignore you being your genuine self.
I show people who I am and tell people who i am so i can look at people's reactions. I watch people very closely. It's the best way to filter and organize people i meet. I don't waste my time by putting up a walk between. people who they think i am. Because people assume at first and they often assume wrong. I used to be like you but then I found myself wasting time, sometimes years with the wrong people.
I think there is balance within authenticity. Be yourself share what you’d like and understand it’s ok and normal for other not to like you, if anything it’s a great sign that your being yourself and not molding to societies expectations. Be you, be real and don’t let other’s perspective get in your head. Shrug it off and continue on. Thats been my motto and it’s been doing wonders.
שנאמר, תזרום ומי לא איתך ישאר מאחור..
This is my goal. I’m trying. Raised by a borderline mother I have this trait of over explaining.
My initial thought about this was some of Brene's Brown first talks that I was aware of how to do with being vulnerable.. the irony I felt when she came full circle, saying we don't need to share everythingwith other people. Love it because both are true. The balance and finesse of what to share and what to hold close and sacred...❤
Thank you Jesus for spiritual discernment and wisdom so I understand what people's true intentions are🌾. God help us to hold our tongue and not expose our life, Amen
Amen 🙏🏾 Amen 🙏🏾 Amen 🙏🏾
Amen!🙏
Amen
She's basically describing an introvert. Like me! Been like this all my life. I don't quite agree with her philosophy because sometimes it's nice to share a little more than sharing what you did on the weekend 😅. It makes people open up to you.
Move in silence!! Your testimony will be shared at the right time.
Wow! So true !! I just moved into an newer apartment & Quickly saw I needed to hold myself close . Thank you for the reminder !!🥰 Blessings to All 🙏
One thing I’ve learned is that people ain’t sh*t. And you’ll find that out the moment you share personal things about yourself, even if it was for purpose to help them out with their own situation which isn’t remotely as tough as what you shared with them.
I have never seen such a clear message. I will watch many times to reflect about each word
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Secrecy is the best policy 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
I honestly hate when people tell me to much and honestly I don’t want to hear it. Just keep somethings to yourself.
May those you talk to not feel that when you utter anything from your mouth.
You're the people we must watch out for.
Weather one admits it or not everyone needs understanding. If you have it from some people in you life you are more lucky than you might know. If you even have the memories of someone who really understood you then that can sustain a person the rest of their life and they look to others as if they are going it alone. The narrator says in first five minutes that not coming from a place of not needing understanding and validation from others is a goal and if she means with some people not all people then ok but thinking one is immune to that need from anyone creates false and unhealthy psychological expectations and causes people to see others looking like they are alone and wondering why they themselves are so lonely and needy; it can become a perpetual cycle, downward spiral. Especially with elderly and children take time to get to know others, be curious and step out of yourself..its ok you’ll still be there when you stop. Narrator obviously says many good things AND when good mixed with not so good or major omissions it is more potentially damaging than someone who hasn’t much wisdom at all. With people being as mobile as we are today and distracted with so much information it is very difficult to get the healthy amount of understanding and frankly our species could use being a bit more deep cause the shallowness is killing our ecosystems, physical and social.
Some people are hellbent to rearrange what was never theirs to rearrange.
Yes.... So that's why I brave on my self 😎 be I Never shears anything with anyone.💯💪
Ms. Brown Slow down. You have so much wisdom
I like the concept of very well curate who you trust with your inner self. To be not known well by anyone doesn't appeal to me either.
This reminds me of a biblical saying: “Don’t cast your pearls before swine.”
Ive been binging yt videos at expense if my exams but I'm happy to have met this post. Its just explains so much I haven't been able to explain myself. Makes so much sense
So glad someone said this!!! Too many people in the public eye telling people to tell all and I never approved that. Thanks for explaining this.
This is so true, I have been this way all my life ❤
It took me years to appreciate the wisdom that is contained in this message. But now I don't want to say too much more than that about it
..😉🙏🏼🌾🌱🍁
Whoever is giving this message doesnt matter. Whether its Ms Brene or ai its the content that is valuable.
It absolutely does matter, it's using someone elses voice. Imagine hearing a Hitler speech through Alan Watt's voice. Most people aren't smart enough to discern and believe whatever is in front of them. Reality matters!
Agree. My "friend" just use my info against me. Nice. When I turned against them, I was still the wrong one. But I am thankful it happened coz I don't need to them my existence anymore. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot.
The part about staying in relationships because they look good…. But only from the outside. I stayed with someone for 2 years and was unhappy for majority of it. I thought I’m in my 30s I should settle down and make it work. However it was rapidly making me depressed. I woke up one day and said enough is enough and found my strength to leave. I do not have to conform to what society conveys is normal. One day I’ll find a partner and if not so be it, but for now I’m okay and happy being alone. It’s very peaceful and liberating to focus on yourself.
And about not sharing, I never tell people my age. Women at work can’t stand this about me lol but I’m not sure why it matters so much to them 🤷🏽♀️. I don’t speak about my relationship status either. I keep it real surface, but enough to be considered friendly and somewhat forthcoming.
If you live in a small town, everyone already knows all the secrets about you even before you know the secrets yourself
Remember, most people you know have already formed their opinion of you, so it's a waste of time and energy to try and convince them of anything other than what they believe. This is especially true of family.
don't excessively or readily give away all your knowledge or insights to others, as it can diminish its value, make you appear boastful, and potentially hinder the growth and learning of those around you; instead, share your wisdom thoughtfully, based on the situation and the person asking, allowing for a more meaningful exchange. .....
So good, this idea of our own "treasure" and "depth." I have struggled with the idea of being "authentic" and in so doing, am sure that I've overshared. It's so good to have this practical wisdom.
Most of people at my work share everything about themself, from their childhood to now , feels awkward and creates distance
My coworkers probed me about certain things about myself age birthday kids etc like please go away I don’t wanna talk! They just talk away unfiltered about their marriage kids purchases etc etc it’s exhausting
Dump / Delete Facebook. I did 9 months ago. Deleting Facebook was like a giant weight lifted off my back. It's a great feeling to become anonymous again. Should've done this 10 or 15 years ago.
very Valuable truth....and the things people put on social media are tragic.....anything for attention.....peace and tranquility.....are worth more than gold
I don’t think it matters about boundaries or what you say to people. They will always interpret it in their own way to fit their fancy! It’s taken a lifetime for me to realize who I really am without listening to all the hot air people give out to so-called help you.
The most I learned about myself over the years is what I learned most about others. But I need to continue to learn about myself without hearing listening to others. That just keeps my mind too busy I’m not helpful.
So much noise and hot air comes out of one hole. Why do we waste so much of our time?
I always felt the urgent need to not tell people anything about myself. I' d much rather inquire. They are satisfied.
גישה מעניינת. וזה עובד?
I now share enough information with new people I meet to avoid beginning frienships with people who have values I deplore. Nothing is more painful than have had invested years in a marriage and friendships only to find out that they were not "kindred spirits" because they have opposite beliefs and are lacking empathy toward others.
3:09 HOLD SPACE used in the correct context to which it makes sense
Our prophet Mohamed peace open him, Sayed the same thing ' don't share 3 thing with people
1 your future plan and travel
2 how much is your salary
3 don't share your success with everyone
I got it but why is not number 3?
Yea I agree. I'm glad to hearing this.
For years, I have always prized transparent as a good merit until recently. It fits with human nature to keep the Depth space for oneself even not to your close one, as not everyone is lucky enough to find their real soulmate.
Thank you! I needed this! I have told others too much about myself with a result of receiving criticism, ridicule, or being told what I have got to do with my life. I have learned to keep things more to myself. This post resonates what I have learned.
I get it now. Thank you!
I find sharing happy news with by women can come around later in meanness and jealousy
really needed and enjoyed this
this is gold!! thank you
Staying solid is a lifestyle 💯
I’m going to continue being open/transparent and sharing my story! Reach one, teach one! 💜
Good for you! Unless it puts you in physical, financial or, spiritual danger, who really cares what other people think if they use your open nature against you - it just shows their true character and then maybe pray for them to become more righteous people
Beautiful. Thank You.
I'm glad that I got to see this video. It's very informative.
This video goes way beyond the title… she explains how, when and why ❤
We need to get comfortable telling people that what the question they just asked is 'not your business' - Saying it plainly, without emotion, but firmly, is often enough, but if they get offended and start questioning, ask them WHY they feel entitled to ask about your personal business.
I still regret speaking at a Christian women's conference. I shared a highly personal struggle. Years later the pastor's wife and other church members used that knowledge to hurt my family and me. Never again will I make that mistake.
keep something untouched, a safe space to reconnect to yourself and nurture it. there is no greater freedom than living a life where your story shaped not by applause of others, but by the quiet contentment of knowing you stay true to yourself.