It feels like you are a single mum doing this on your own... but you have a coparent/partner. He needs to give you a proper break and share the load with you. It's too much for to do alone, he should be there for you, you should be a team. Just because you are on mat leave doesn't mean you should do all childcare, all nursery runs, all night wakes and all domestic chores. Especially as you are still working with youtube, so essentially you are working part time, so you are both working parents. You're burning out.
Yes I do agree with this responce and it’s not like ash works away, like he used too. . But it’s very easy to say when watching one video. It sounds like you do take breaks and help each other. But once you go back to work you may need to give each other that extra support, and perhaps conquer and divide. To be fair doing any diy with kids is very difficult and I think you are doing amazing, it’s just timings of getting jobs done whilst looking after kids is hard and Shan is showing that reality xx
You are so brave to put this out there and show this side of motherhood as not many people do. Having a 3 yr old and a 9month old I can totally relate to every word and every feeling you are going through. You are an amazing mum! Xxx
Oh Shan I cried with and for you!! I applaud you for being so open and honest and vulnerable. You are a fantastic Mum. It is bloody hard sometimes isn’t it. I hope you are continuing to feel better ❤
This could’ve been me saying this. You’re doing a great job mumma. My mum reminds me regularly that worrying about not being a good mum means you are a good mum. Bad mums don’t worry about being a good/bad one ❤️
So sorry you are going through this. My son was the sweetest baby who turned into a nightmare from 18 months onwards. He had terrible behaviour issues, would scratch himself till he blead. Had 40 minute meltdowns. It was awful! It was so bad that I couldn't have a second baby. Just couldnt deal with another child. Fast forward 12 years and I am regretting not having another baby. You must just keep remembering 'the days are long but the years are short'. You will get through it. You are dowing a great job! On top of the building work you are truly behing challenged. Thank you for being vulnerable on here. Important to show other Mom's how difficult it can be ❤
Sending you a MASSIVE hug!! So glad you are getting some help with George as you are an incredible mum. It is relentless and thankless and you are allowed to find it hard because it is! Lots of love Shan xxx
Thank you so so much for sharing the raw sides of motherhood your the only person I have found on the internet that shows the reality of motherhood, how hard it really is, also I’m the same age as you and it is so difficult trying to find who you are as a person while trying our best for our kids! (My little boy is only a few months younger than George) but I was once told if we didn’t feel guilt or question if we are good enough mums than that would be the sign we weren’t doing a good job, the guilt and hard days means we are doing everything we can for our children (hope that makes sense it’s harder saying it in a message) but you are so much stronger than you think and you will get through this your an amazing mum to both your babies but you also need to have me time in order to collect your thoughts and be able to be patient! Take that time you need, book one night away even on your own and get a good rest self care and you’ll feel so refreshed! Send lots of love your way💗💗
I’m so glad your showing this side of motherhood! I have a 2 and a half year old and a 4 month old . I just tell myself everything is just a stage! Your a good mum x
I felt every single word. I think you articulated your feelings so well and in a way that so many of us can relate to judging by all the comments. Thank you for being brave and not deleting the footage. You are one amazing woman and mummy ❤ lots of love xxx
You are such an inspiration Shan!! Last week for me was like you described, soo defeating and 100% thought “Is this what my life is?” You are not alone. Thank you so much for sharing because I also needed to hear I’m not alone 🥰
Honest you are doing so so good. I was the exact same when my kitchen was being ripped out. I always believe tidy house tidy mind and it's so so hard to be any level of positive when any house work being done. You will get through this it's not forever. Take some alone time when you can❤
You’re doing such a good job! As a mum and as a person! You’re smashing it without even knowing it! I know how you feel, my daughter is going through a high tantrum stage at the minute and it’s HARD we will get through it! I feel like half our job as mums is questioning everything we do ❤ you got this
It's normal to have bad days and weeks. Worrying whether you are a good parent or not means you are, because bad parents don't care. Don't forget you survived those first 6 weeks of being a mum to 2 on your own, you will come out the other side of this too. The two hardest days for me in my motherhood was when my son was a few months old and he was 2 hours past his nap time and over tired, he was crying in my arms and I was sobbing to him, saying I was sorry that he was tired and I couldn't help him sleep. The second was when he was 2.5 and went through a phase when he was dropping his lunch nap and my daughter was a few months old. Both were crying at me because they were tired and wouldn't go to sleep. In the end I put her in her cot crying and him in his bed screaming and I sat at the bottom of the stairs, had a moment and then messaged my family chat group for help. My sister came up, made a cuppa, put my daughter to bed and my son cried himself to sleep. 2 hours later they both woke up happy to see me. What I'm trying to say is 1. There is no shame in asking for help, even if you don't want to bother people or think they already have enough on. They will want to help you. 2. Talk to your partner or spouse about how you feel. Bottling your feelings up helps no one. 3. Even if your kids are angry, sad or screaming at you they still love and miss you. Hoping you have a better week xxx
Oh Shan. I’m there with you. I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old and the tantrums are unreal. I also can’t keep the house tidy as she doesn’t want to put toys away. It will get better ❤
I absolutely feel this. I live abroad and am a mum of only one and have days like this. Unfortunately it can be very hard to express these thoughts so when i find a moment to myself i greatly appreciate these videos. They keep me going and make me feel less alone. I admire how incredible a job you are doing with two little kids ❤
Only just got the chance to catch up with this video & my gosh you got me right in the feels! I just want to give you a massive hug! It sounds like you’re going through a really tough patch at the minute & like myself, it’s almost as if you put a lot of pressure on yourself too for just being human!! From someone with a background in psychology, although it may feel strange sometimes, I actually think it’s a positive for our children to occasionally see us not at our best or when we have sometimes lost our temper as it shows that we are human too & I think it’s even more important what you do afterwards I.e reconciling with your children because again, it teaches them that we do lose our patience sometimes & how to apologise and take accountability for your actions💗 sometimes what helps me is to imagine my daughter&son in years to come when they’re in similar trenches & what response I would give to them in these times & it’s generally that you’re doing a good job, these times are hard which is why it feels so hard & to give yourself some grace🥰 also to ask for help where possible and in whatever way that may look! P.S thank you for being so honest and showing a side of motherhood that is not always represented online but it’s equally as important!!!
Your not alone Shan! We all have days/weeks/months like this but not everyone is as brave as you to say it! your smashing motherhood honestly! you are an inspiration x
Thank you so much for putting out such a raw but relatable video. It takes a lot to be vulnerable online but I can imagine you’ve also made a lot of mums (me included) feel a bit less mum guilt for these days. As any mum would say, you’re doing your best, you love your babies but sometimes it just is really hard! Hang in there 🥰 x
Wow! Love this. Likewise this could have been me saying what you said, almost word for word. I was going through a rough time for a couple of weeks before the clocks changed, which I was dreading anyway. Then came April, a new term for nursery my LG (3yr 4m) started doing an extra day at nursery. Omg she would turn into the hulk in 0.3 secs! This was mostly everyday, tantrums for no reason, hiting, biting, don't want dinner, don't want a bath, don't to get dressed, etc etc etc (we'd get the odd day where it was normal and day to day went smoothly) But I've been like a grenade for a month and a half now and like you, last week my husband pull the pin and I exploded! Big time. 😭 I was a mess and had to try and get my shit together to drop her off for nursery and then me get to work. I felt like I had been beaten and that i failed at parenting! But very proud of you to put such a raw and real video out there. All parents go through something, even as hard as this, but not all show it. Which hides the reality. We'll done you for sharing and thank you. And big hugs, I feel you too. 🥰 x
Hey Shan, thank you so much for sharing this and for being so brave to be vunerable! As a fellow mum to a toddler, who too has some really tough days, I can totally empathise with the struggles and challenges! You are doing such an incredible job and its a real breath of fresh air to see your relatable videos! Sending you a virtual hug! ❤
Can relate so much, so difficult seeing you so upset, but so good to see, and you were showing exactly I how feel all the time. My husband thinks I'm a psychopath because I get so overwhelmed with everything too. Currently on 'holiday' (what a joke) with my 3 year old, is there anything worse than sharing a premier Inn with a tiddler who is not tired and screaming at us. Oh and had family critising me saying I pander too much and let her get away with too much. I pretty much want to curl up in a ball and disappear too 😢 So thank you for showing that actually we're not alone in feeling like poop
I love that you’re being so honest with these difficult things, and I’m sure a lot of others appreciate it too. It’s okay to cry and to let it out, doesn’t mean you’re not grateful or a bad mom for feeling it❤ Being a mom is so beautiful but it can be challenging too.
I love how real you are! This makes me feel normal and that it isn’t just me but apart of motherhood for many of us! You are so not alone. You’ve got this 👏🏻🥰
Thank you for being so candid ❤ I totally relate with the difficulties you are having with George (my 3yo needs constant attention). It’s nice to know we’re not alone. You totally deserve a break. Think of it as a way of modelling to the kids how to look after your mental wellbeing. They will learn that it’s important to look after their wellbeing too. I found this way of thinking helpful to lessen the mum guilt.
Shan your amazing! I love your videos, realistic, raw and relatable! Being a mum is so hard yet so rewarding, my little girl is 19 months old and the tantrums are starting, the continuous need for entertainment and attention wears me down and I'm forever doubting myself and questioning if I'm a good mum! Seeing you so down in this video brought me to tears but it also made me realise we're all having our struggles, our ups and downs, and I always remember what you once said "its not forever its just for now" Sending love and hugs ❤❤❤ You got this mama! Xxx
Thanks Shan. I’ve been having a tough time and this was a reminder that it can feel tough, it can feel lonely it can feel overwhelming and that it can feel fine the next moment. You’ve reminded me to reach out to my health visitor and GP and get help. Parenting is hard but we all need to figure out where our line is when we need help and this is a reminder that I’ve reached my line.
Thanks for posting this honest reflection of being a Mum, it really resonates with my experience of having a 2 year old and 5 month old. It is the hardest and best job in the world xx
I'm a boy mom and boy can I relate to everything you just described! I have the same feelings quite often, thank you so much for opening up, it feels better to know that it's. just. hard. You're doing a great job!!
Shan you are an amazing mother! The highs and lows of parenting are intense.. on the days where I struggle with just 1 I can’t even comprehend how difficult that must be with 2! On top of everything else and being the default parent. Feel free to message if you ever want to just get out with the kids and get to a park and have some non judgemental Mum company/support! X
Thank you for sharing your motherhood journey even in the most vulnerable moments. I don’t have many friends with little children and it really helps sometimes to see that there are others out there who are having very similar struggles and thoughts ❤ Motherhood truly is the most challenging thing I have ever done!
I don't have kids but I watch your vlogs often :) thank you so much for sharing the difficulties of motherhood... you are perhaps the most open and raw motherhood channel that I've seen, and it's so important to show all sides of it!
Awh Shan, this was hard to watch. You’re so not alone in feeling overwhelmed. I have an almost 3 year old and two nights a week my fiancé works night shift and I still worry about getting through those 4 hours alone between picking him up from nursery and bedtime, and he’s not a particularly difficult child at all, toddlers are just a lot! I also think we put so much more effort into our children’s emotional development and wellbeing than past generations did, but that takes a lot more out of us. Our parents and grandparents tended to have a philosophy that didn’t ‘pander’ to kids, whereas I put a lot of pressure on myself to nurture my little boy emotionally. I’m so proud of this but it takes so much patience and every ounce of effort some days. Hope you’re feeling better but wanted to say you’re not feeling anything unnatural and you’re not alone xxx
I just wanted to say I think you’re brilliant and very brave for putting this out there. You’re definitely not alone … it is so bloody hard but we’ve got this!
Your honesty is inspiring. You are not alone. Everyone who is a mum has felt like this over their parenting journey I promise you. The breakdowns are needed so get it out and off your shoulders. We got you xxx
I really respect you for sharing your vulnerable situations. It is so helpful to others (like me) to know we are not alone. Thank you. You are an amazing mum. Don’t ever feel guilty. You are a human as well as a mum. It’s so hard the way we raise children largely with one or two people taking most of the burden. You need to look after you too. And our little ones are the worst versions of themselves around the people they love the most so as hard as it is know he is a gorgeous and wonderful boy in the world and a credit to you. Lots of love xx
Hi Shan I live in United States and I have a 3 year old also. Since he turned 3 the tantrums have been really bad. I also sometimes have depression and cried a lot, so is normal you are not alone. In my case when I feel really sad I go for a walk, do exercise, listen to music and watch some tv and also look for advice with my family because I am a first time mom like you. Is normal to have those feelings motherhood is really hard and raising a human being is extremely difficult. Love and hugs. ❤
Oh Shan you are definitely not alone, those toddler years are brutal!! I saw the light when my little one turned 4 and it’s been so much better since then. It was sooo difficult and I only have one child. She does not have adhd but she is neurodiverse in some way, something we’re exploring at the moment. Sending you love and strength xxx
Thank you so much for being brave enough to share how you’re feeling. Can totally related to what you’re saying (have a 3 1/2 year old tornado and a newborn). And the house mess stuff, constant running around and tidying up is wearing. But know that it won’t be like this forever, it is a season. You will get time back for yourself and your kiddos will appreciate everything you’re doing for them. You’re an amazing mum - don’t lose faith in yourself. You’re a human being and that means we feel a range of emotions and that’s ok, there’s no guilt or shame in that. The fact you’re acknowledging all that is a huge example to your kids and you’re doing your absolute best for them. Look after yourself and take a break - happy mum = happy kiddos. Get dad to support you and tell him you need a break to go and do x, y or z (sometimes us mums are not so good at communicating our own needs until we are at breaking point). Think about what that break looks like for you beforehand so you don’t spend time doing cleaning / house stuff or feeling guilty. Even a hot bath with no phone, kids or interruptions makes a big difference on a difficult day. Good luck and I hope you get that well deserved break very soon x
You’re definitely not the only one who has days like that. You’re doing so so so well and I’m sure things will feel easier soon. Remember everything is a phase, even if it seems like a bloody long one! Sending so much love, and thank you for keeping it real ❤
I cried with you when you were in the car as i was like yes yes and yes!!! I totally relate. I have an almost 4 year old boy, similar to George, an absolute whirlwind. My boy is diagnosed autistic and i suspect adhd. Its soooo hard being that punching bag, clearing up the constant mess, walking egg shells with what feels like constant emotional shifts from them. I also have a 2.5 year old girl who although not as bad is in the "terrible twos". GOOD FOR YOU for leaving in that footage and GOOD FOR YOU for recognising you needed a walk and alone time to feel better, i am terrible for not recognising what i need and when and i get to burn out. Sending you big hugs ❤
I’ve had to pause the video to just come here and say I promise you are not doing anything wrong. My son is now 6 almost 7 and I went through this rough patch when he was around 3 years old and every day felt like the same battles. It would be round the clock tantrums and time outs that would go on for hours it felt never ending! Please please please believe me when I say it will get easier especially around school age and I know that it seems like such a long way off but before you know it those behaviours you mentioned will slowly fade away. It’s awful and it’s sh*t and you feel like you’re doing everything wrong but you are a brilliant mum. I’ve sat and cried and said the same things as you so I completely understand how you feel. Take your own advice and take a break, get some childcare and just reboot. You got this! ❤️
Thank you for this! Watching Shan in this video is like looking in a mirror at the moment with my 3 and a half year old (and a 9 month old) and I just feel like it's never going to end and you're the only one who is not coping. X
You an inspirational strong and amazing mother hun Everyone has there hard days. You keep smashing motherhood love and I love watching your videos as a young women honestly I really do adore you ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I’m so grateful you have shared this. I have children the exact same age and feel the same. Have spent a lot of time longing to be back at work and feeling guilty/like a shit mum for feeling that way. Sending a big hug. Thank you for sharing the hard bits xx
Huge hugs to you 🫶🏻 us Mums are so hard on ourselves and being the primary caregiver is tough. Even though we get a lot of the best moments, we also get a lot of the bad too. It is the hardest job in the world and it’s so easy to lose yourself to your kids. As we always say “it’s just a phase!” 🥲🫶🏻 stay strong and remember that you are always doing the best that you can. I used to think I was doing everything wrong, and somebody said to me “the fact that you worry about if you’re doing the right thing, already means that you are” and this has always stuck with me. We all relate to you so much and here with you every step of the way 🥰
110% feel you lovely. Promise you we all have those days and those children love you so much regardless. It will get better but get yourself a break because none of us are superwomen. Sending love ❤
Wow! Love this. Likewise this could have been me saying what you said almost word for word. I was going through a rough time for a couple of week before the clocks changed which I was dreading anyway. Then came April a new term for nursery my LG (3yr 4m) started doing an extra day at nursery. Omg she would turn into the hulk in 0.3 secs! This was mostly everyday, tantrums for no reason, hiting, biting etc (we'd get the odd day where it was normal and day to day went smoothly) But I've been like a grenade for a month and a half now and like you, last week my husband pull the pin and I exploded! Big time. 😭 I felt like I had been beaten and that i can't do this anymore, i fell broken! But very proud of you to put such a raw and real video out there. All parents go through something as hard as this, but not all show it. Which hides the reality. We'll done you. And big hugs I feel you too. 🥰 UK x
Awww Shan you really are the best mum ever , you really need to give yourself a pat on the back truly because you really do give yourself such a hard time and you really don’t need to 💕 I know your going through a lot but just please know you and your kids are going to look back at all these videos and laugh at all the struggles and they’ll remember all the amazing things you done with them 💕💕
I am so glad that you posted this video. I have many days / weeks where I have the exact same feelings. It’s amazing to See how we aren’t alone in how we all feel. You are doing amazing Shan! Your kids are beautiful and you’re doing great ! Xx
I am feel your pain. My daughter is 11 she was an absolute perfect baby, hit her milestone and also very easily manageable. Since I have my son (3 years) I am feel like every day is a battle . I am solo parenting 3 days a week other 4 I am in work . Dominik has some difficulty, strongly believe he is on a spectrum. He is nonverbal and has very heavy meltdowns with self harm 😢 I feels very emotional and shame about my feelings in a same time. We have no help around grandparents are in Hungary. I am just hoping it's get easier in one point soon as I am nearly in my breaking point. It's good to know I am not alone with it and it's OK . Keep going you are amazing ❤❤❤❤
15:11 I'm 100% there with you. My house ends up a state because my toddler throws everything she can reach, slams doors, screams at me. And it's so hard to keep calm! But someone told me recently that children display all their emotion most in front of those who are their safe space, because they know you love them and are there for them ❤
Thank you so much for being a real mum! To actually put your self out there like that’s it’s brave.. your doing Amazing mumma! I have a 3year old son also the tantrums and the constant running off this week has hit me a lot.. we have got this mumma.. I wish I could give you a hug though the screen.. sending you much love Darling.. it do get better my older son is 10 now and it do get eaiser. 💕💕
Thank you for being honest. I feel TH-camrs can brush over the challenges of motherhood. Especially going from 1 to 2. So thanks for this video. And showing the realities of life!
Your an amazing mum and yes everyone has these times and so grateful you put yourself out there to make others feel better that they're not alone. You got this mama xx
Oh Shan! I've felt like this recently - I'm a single Mum and have been since my daughter was born. She's almost 3 and trying to juggle it all with a toddler is HARD. I think Motherhood is just HARD but you have two and they both go to sleep each night fed and safe. There's so much to complain about and I feel part of the the guilt thing is that there's some kind of societial pressure to not complain as parents. I think it's okay to vent AND realise it will pass. Give yourself grace and rest where you can. I try to tell myself all the time, in 20 years is my daughter going to remember if the house was clean or is she going to remember if I was happy? Easier said than done. Keep going Mama, you're doing a great job. Sending loves ❤️
I feel you girl, the comment about being an emotional punch bag 🥲 it's alot! But you're doing amazing. Thank you for being honest, I feel so awful for feeling like this sometimes and it shows you're never alone xx
Oh Shan, you're doing a cracking job and you're an amazing mom. I've watched your videos since I was pregnant three years ago, and in every video I see that you make your kids so happy. You make George so happy. We all have those days, I got really depressed this week for a couple of days and felt really shitty about that, but then the next day I'd suddenly snapped out of it. You can do this!
Oh sweetheart you look like you are doing a great job. You are trying to do your best for your family. You are human and if you feel like that I think it is helpful to talk to someone just to get it off your chest. If they love you they will listen. Believe me everyone goes thru times when they feel like everything they do is wrong. I am a great grandmother so I’ve been around the block a few times. Keep smiling you are amazing xxx
Hun, i felt every single word you said in this. Iv had the WORST day with my toddler. I just have the one child but i work full time and im sitting exams at the same time. Im trying to revise but my toddler is screaming holy hell for attention, refusing to eat and sleep. Keep going. You need to have a break - you are not a bad mother for needing a break. Youll come back a better you ❤
Thanks for sharing. We’ve all been here! I found age 3 sooo challenging 🙈 my two are the same age gap as yours (but I’m 2 years ahead! Things are (overall) much more settled and “easier” now. And they SOMETIMES even play together. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still incredibly hard days (and my youngest is about to turn 3) so we will see how he gets on 🙈😅 but life feels easier in general, you’ve got this 😊xxx
I cried with you in this video. I felt this SO hard. It’s probably not so easy with 2 kids but you need a whole night away from this like a spa weekend with friends or stay with your mum for a night and just have no responsibilities for a whole day and night. I would be a wreck if I didn’t have these times. Even just having something in the diary makes me feel like I can get through those hard times. I literally cried in the car park of smyths on Friday because my 3 year old son had the most monumental tantrum in there and all the way to the car then he continued to hit and kick me and throw his toys at me in the car, then I screamed at him then I cried because I felt terrible. It was a mess! I know what you mean when you think “is this my life now”. Am I just supposed to take whatever my kids throw at me (literally!) but the only positive to come out of it is that you will appreciate those happy moments SO much more than ever before. When my 3 year old does something I’ve asked him to do first time, I feel like I’ve won the lottery 🤣 Sending so much love and I really hope you will get treated to some happy moments within the chaos!! 🙏🏼😘 xxx
Girl... I am with you. My husband works away for a month at the time and I feel so overwhelmed sometimes especially when the house stuff is getting way too much. We're thinking about getting a cleaner ...would it be an option for you...because everyone says it's the best thing they've ever done and I'm starting to believe them. Also when you can take a break... Try and get at least two nights away from the kids with NO GUILT ...I always feel like a day away is just never enough to fix anything ... I'm saying all this but I absolutely find it so difficult to implement myself. You're doing so good girl, you're doing it all so so well xxx
Shan. You. Are. Incredible. 💞 Thank you for sharing this very honest and raw video love, I cried watching it. My little ones are near enough the same ages as yours and I’ve followed you from the beginning of my first pregnancy. You keep me going and inspire me that I’ve got this 💪🏽 Sending you all the positive vibes! ❤
Hi Shan, aaw bless you. I really feel for you and just wanted to give you a hug. I'm a Children's Nurse. Have you thought about discussing how you are feeling mentally and emotionally with either your Health Visitor or GP? There is no stigma or shame in asking for help for yourself not just George. It's a sign of strength not weaknesses. We all need a bit of help sometimes. Just something to think about.
Omg I just want to give you a massive hug through the screen, I can not tell you how much I relate to everything you said. You’ve made me feel not alone so I hope you know you’re not alone too ❤
Ah bless your heart, it will all be okay. One day at a time. Being a mum is a hard job. I have watched you for a long time, and your a lovely mum, and we can only do the best we can. Try to have a little bit of time for yourself, do some meditation, just have some time out, be kind to yourself, big hugs, xx
Genuinely it could have been me saying this. I'm a mum of two and the guilt can be absolutely overwhelming, crippling even. The immense feeling of failure can be honestly awful. Please know though, you are not the only mum who feels like this, you are doing such an amazing job. You're a mum on TH-cam that I watch because you're so relatable and your a mum I look up to when parenting my own kids. The bad days come but they'll also go and the good days come back. ❤️
I had an age gap similar to yours and watching your video reminded me how hard it was at the stage you're at. My little boy was a real handful at the same age and inlived fornhis nursery days... but felt guilty for that but looking back it's totally fine and we need more mums to speak more about this so others know its normal..... so huge well done and thankyou for keeping it real! You're going a fab job xx
Sometimes is better to take a professional bathroom maker to remake it… it could save money for your family mental health. Your husband is amazing but sometimes doing certain things it could be more difficult with two little kids. whenever you have to decide, always choose the simplest version, even if it costs more. Love ❤
You are not alone ❤ I have been feeling like this for the last few weeks particularly, I was literally crying on the phone to my mum this morning. It can be so hard. I feel like You are speaking from my brain in that clip. Sending you lots of love xxx
Thank you sooo much for this. I have 3 boys 3, 2 and 6 months and feel like I'm drowning. My kids are my world but I'm struggling so much resulting in not being the best mum. That on top of hating my body post 3 kids worrying about money as I'm on my 3rd set of non paid leave and feeling like I no longer have a partner as he just dosent understand and I'm just angry all the time. Watching this made me realise we are all going through it tho so thank you
You are such an incredible mom and so so brave to put this content out there! I am a new mum and currently four months postpartum with my first and I genuinely watch your videos for inspiration and motivation on how to manage my time and be the best mom I can be. I think you are amazing and bad moms don’t worry whether or not they are good enough! Keep doing you girl ❤
I think its really great that you show the real and rawness of life as an 'influencer' or someone that shows a lot of their life online..somtimes people only show the peachy perfect things which makes people feel like they are alone.. makes them feel below..but you show the real and its encouraging and positive ❤.. And as for the mum melt downs..anyone who says they dont are surely fibbing 😅..we are all just winging it! ❤ xxxxx
Ohhh mine are 5 and 8 now but I can really relate, when my 8 year old was 3 it was so so hard. So many tantrums all the time. I felt so alone. I really really feel for you and know how you feel. It gets easier as they become more independent xx
Yh I totally understand whether its 1 child or 2 children. Mum life is hard and its so important to get support from ur partner & to get a break if possible (as its very hard to get childcare). Im a single mum and proud. I hope u have a better week next week ❤
shan, it pains me so much for you to be feeling this kind of doubt in yourself, when honestly, i look to you to find inspiration on how to be a better version of myself when it comes to mum life. all this goes to show is that we are all human. your babies are so incredibly lucky to have you and the way george is reacting is no representation on how you are parenting, just him finding his own way through life and all of the crazy emotions that come with it. so proud of you always xxx
It's great that you can show this. Little kids are so hard. Motherhood is so hard. It's just like having a job you've never done before but you've got to show up every day like you're a boss at it. Currently on year 3 of kids and house in a state of rennovation. It is a tip. When it all gets too much I know I need to either leave the house and/or get some time alone. Take it day by day. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's great. That's all I can say really. Hope you have more of the ups than the downs moving forward ❤
You break my heart ❤. You can’t blame yourself, really you can’t. You are amazing. Hopefully the health visitor will provide you with a report and might give you some guidance going forward . I would ask to be referred to a specialist in relation to his behaviour which might help you and George too. You are such a lovely person and you do more than your best. You are pretty, bright, kind and thoughtful. You need some guidance how to best deal with him. It is hard but nobody ever said it was. Speak to your new friend Liv. Don’t ever feel you can’t speak to anybody. You are really amazing 🤩
Sending you so so much love. Everything you are feeling is so valid. I always say to the women I work with in my professional life: if you’re worrying about being a good mum, you’re already a great mum. We aren’t designed to do this without a big village around us. Getting interventions for George early is what will make you life and his life easier in the long run. Be kind to yourself. I am also having my bathroom renovated at the moment at it’s so much on top of everything else. 💜💜
Having lived a similar life, one thing I will say is prioritise what’s important, is it a clean house, or your own peace of mind. It’s a difficult choice if always like your house and things in order, but sometimes you just have to let go. Something’s gotta give!
Bless you sweetheart I wanted to give you a hug and say your amazing you are a great mum to your beautiful kids and don't ever think your not we all have bad days I remember when my girls were little and my husband was putting our new kitchen in it was a nightmare mess everywere kids getting in the way I was pulling my hair out so just think how beautiful the bathroom will be when finished xxxxx
Shan your doing amazing especially with 2 children !! As a first time mum I'm totally having thoose days your talking about so your not alone in that! The days which are amazing with our children make it all worth while 😊😊 x
I'm sat here and also crying Shan this is so relatable. Please know you are not alone in this. I hope that your family can help, it seems you never get a break and that's always important please don't ever feel guilty for that. A happy mum is a happy child, you are doing great babe! And thank you for sharing the realness of motherhood, it really isn't all the happy and easy videos we see on social media ❤❤
I'm also going through a bathroom renovation for nearly 3 weeks now and I have no idea how I am surviving with only one toddler at home. But it will be worth it just remember its temporary ♥️
Hey hun! You know what - this age is SO freakin’ hard! My son is 3-4 months older than George and I have friends with similar age children too and we are all just saying it’s the hardest age ever. My son sounds similar to George - funny, boisterous, creative, cheeky and I have to say when he is tired or ill it’s a nightmare. Sleep is so so crucial. Sending hugs! I wish I could send help but we just have to survive through it 🙈❤️
Such a relatable situation, im sure we all jave feeling like this at times. Sounds like you have an awful lot going on at once. The dark days make the light shine brighter.
I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old and i totally understand all of what you're saying. I've said lots of times "what's the point in this life" as you ho through phases where all the toddler does is cry/seem upset and you end up feeling like you're life full of sadness and upset. But it's not always like that. I don't know why it is so hard to be a parent. Is it harder now as we see so much of what everyone else is doing on social media and what we're missing out on perhaps. We're never allowed to just be present and in the moment due to our modern lifestyles so we have so much going on in our heads that being a parent, which is so bloody tough, on top of all that can make life seem impossible and unbearable. I love my kids and my life but i wish it was easier for us all. Sending hugs xx
It feels like you are a single mum doing this on your own... but you have a coparent/partner. He needs to give you a proper break and share the load with you. It's too much for to do alone, he should be there for you, you should be a team. Just because you are on mat leave doesn't mean you should do all childcare, all nursery runs, all night wakes and all domestic chores. Especially as you are still working with youtube, so essentially you are working part time, so you are both working parents. You're burning out.
Yes I do agree with this responce and it’s not like ash works away, like he used too. . But it’s very easy to say when watching one video. It sounds like you do take breaks and help each other. But once you go back to work you may need to give each other that extra support, and perhaps conquer and divide. To be fair doing any diy with kids is very difficult and I think you are doing amazing, it’s just timings of getting jobs done whilst looking after kids is hard and Shan is showing that reality xx
Most men don’t do these things unprompted. It is a whole exhausting challenge in itself trying to get them to do their share
I've got days like that too. Sometimes it does feel like I'm a single housewife 😂
You are so brave to put this out there and show this side of motherhood as not many people do. Having a 3 yr old and a 9month old I can totally relate to every word and every feeling you are going through.
You are an amazing mum! Xxx
Oh Shan I cried with and for you!! I applaud you for being so open and honest and vulnerable. You are a fantastic Mum. It is bloody hard sometimes isn’t it. I hope you are continuing to feel better ❤
This could’ve been me saying this. You’re doing a great job mumma. My mum reminds me regularly that worrying about not being a good mum means you are a good mum. Bad mums don’t worry about being a good/bad one ❤️
So sorry you are going through this. My son was the sweetest baby who turned into a nightmare from 18 months onwards. He had terrible behaviour issues, would scratch himself till he blead. Had 40 minute meltdowns. It was awful! It was so bad that I couldn't have a second baby. Just couldnt deal with another child. Fast forward 12 years and I am regretting not having another baby. You must just keep remembering 'the days are long but the years are short'. You will get through it. You are dowing a great job! On top of the building work you are truly behing challenged. Thank you for being vulnerable on here. Important to show other Mom's how difficult it can be ❤
Sending you a MASSIVE hug!! So glad you are getting some help with George as you are an incredible mum. It is relentless and thankless and you are allowed to find it hard because it is!
Lots of love Shan xxx
Thank you so so much for sharing the raw sides of motherhood your the only person I have found on the internet that shows the reality of motherhood, how hard it really is, also I’m the same age as you and it is so difficult trying to find who you are as a person while trying our best for our kids! (My little boy is only a few months younger than George) but I was once told if we didn’t feel guilt or question if we are good enough mums than that would be the sign we weren’t doing a good job, the guilt and hard days means we are doing everything we can for our children (hope that makes sense it’s harder saying it in a message) but you are so much stronger than you think and you will get through this your an amazing mum to both your babies but you also need to have me time in order to collect your thoughts and be able to be patient! Take that time you need, book one night away even on your own and get a good rest self care and you’ll feel so refreshed! Send lots of love your way💗💗
I’m so glad your showing this side of motherhood! I have a 2 and a half year old and a 4 month old . I just tell myself everything is just a stage! Your a good mum x
I felt every single word. I think you articulated your feelings so well and in a way that so many of us can relate to judging by all the comments. Thank you for being brave and not deleting the footage. You are one amazing woman and mummy ❤ lots of love xxx
You are such an inspiration Shan!! Last week for me was like you described, soo defeating and 100% thought “Is this what my life is?”
You are not alone. Thank you so much for sharing because I also needed to hear I’m not alone 🥰
Honest you are doing so so good. I was the exact same when my kitchen was being ripped out. I always believe tidy house tidy mind and it's so so hard to be any level of positive when any house work being done. You will get through this it's not forever. Take some alone time when you can❤
I feel the same way 😢 it’s so much sometimes and then I get a glimpse of my self in the mirror and it stresses me out more.
You’re doing such a good job! As a mum and as a person! You’re smashing it without even knowing it!
I know how you feel, my daughter is going through a high tantrum stage at the minute and it’s HARD we will get through it! I feel like half our job as mums is questioning everything we do ❤ you got this
It's normal to have bad days and weeks. Worrying whether you are a good parent or not means you are, because bad parents don't care.
Don't forget you survived those first 6 weeks of being a mum to 2 on your own, you will come out the other side of this too.
The two hardest days for me in my motherhood was when my son was a few months old and he was 2 hours past his nap time and over tired, he was crying in my arms and I was sobbing to him, saying I was sorry that he was tired and I couldn't help him sleep.
The second was when he was 2.5 and went through a phase when he was dropping his lunch nap and my daughter was a few months old. Both were crying at me because they were tired and wouldn't go to sleep. In the end I put her in her cot crying and him in his bed screaming and I sat at the bottom of the stairs, had a moment and then messaged my family chat group for help. My sister came up, made a cuppa, put my daughter to bed and my son cried himself to sleep. 2 hours later they both woke up happy to see me.
What I'm trying to say is
1. There is no shame in asking for help, even if you don't want to bother people or think they already have enough on. They will want to help you.
2. Talk to your partner or spouse about how you feel. Bottling your feelings up helps no one.
3. Even if your kids are angry, sad or screaming at you they still love and miss you.
Hoping you have a better week xxx
Oh Shan. I’m there with you. I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old and the tantrums are unreal. I also can’t keep the house tidy as she doesn’t want to put toys away. It will get better ❤
I absolutely feel this. I live abroad and am a mum of only one and have days like this. Unfortunately it can be very hard to express these thoughts so when i find a moment to myself i greatly appreciate these videos. They keep me going and make me feel less alone. I admire how incredible a job you are doing with two little kids ❤
Only just got the chance to catch up with this video & my gosh you got me right in the feels! I just want to give you a massive hug! It sounds like you’re going through a really tough patch at the minute & like myself, it’s almost as if you put a lot of pressure on yourself too for just being human!! From someone with a background in psychology, although it may feel strange sometimes, I actually think it’s a positive for our children to occasionally see us not at our best or when we have sometimes lost our temper as it shows that we are human too & I think it’s even more important what you do afterwards I.e reconciling with your children because again, it teaches them that we do lose our patience sometimes & how to apologise and take accountability for your actions💗 sometimes what helps me is to imagine my daughter&son in years to come when they’re in similar trenches & what response I would give to them in these times & it’s generally that you’re doing a good job, these times are hard which is why it feels so hard & to give yourself some grace🥰 also to ask for help where possible and in whatever way that may look! P.S thank you for being so honest and showing a side of motherhood that is not always represented online but it’s equally as important!!!
You’re an amazing mum. Everyone needs a break sometimes. It’s hard to be a parent and you’re still amazing at being a parent. I love your videos.❤❤❤
Your not alone Shan! We all have days/weeks/months like this but not everyone is as brave as you to say it! your smashing motherhood honestly! you are an inspiration x
Thank you so much for putting out such a raw but relatable video. It takes a lot to be vulnerable online but I can imagine you’ve also made a lot of mums (me included) feel a bit less mum guilt for these days. As any mum would say, you’re doing your best, you love your babies but sometimes it just is really hard! Hang in there 🥰 x
Wow! Love this. Likewise this could have been me saying what you said, almost word for word. I was going through a rough time for a couple of weeks before the clocks changed, which I was dreading anyway. Then came April, a new term for nursery my LG (3yr 4m) started doing an extra day at nursery. Omg she would turn into the hulk in 0.3 secs! This was mostly everyday, tantrums for no reason, hiting, biting, don't want dinner, don't want a bath, don't to get dressed, etc etc etc (we'd get the odd day where it was normal and day to day went smoothly) But I've been like a grenade for a month and a half now and like you, last week my husband pull the pin and I exploded! Big time. 😭 I was a mess and had to try and get my shit together to drop her off for nursery and then me get to work. I felt like I had been beaten and that i failed at parenting! But very proud of you to put such a raw and real video out there. All parents go through something, even as hard as this, but not all show it. Which hides the reality. We'll done you for sharing and thank you. And big hugs, I feel you too. 🥰 x
Thank you for being so honest of how hard it is to be a mother. No one gets it.
Your open and honesty is lovely to see. And you are a brilliant mum.
Hey Shan, thank you so much for sharing this and for being so brave to be vunerable! As a fellow mum to a toddler, who too has some really tough days, I can totally empathise with the struggles and challenges! You are doing such an incredible job and its a real breath of fresh air to see your relatable videos! Sending you a virtual hug! ❤
Can relate so much, so difficult seeing you so upset, but so good to see, and you were showing exactly I how feel all the time. My husband thinks I'm a psychopath because I get so overwhelmed with everything too.
Currently on 'holiday' (what a joke) with my 3 year old, is there anything worse than sharing a premier Inn with a tiddler who is not tired and screaming at us. Oh and had family critising me saying I pander too much and let her get away with too much. I pretty much want to curl up in a ball and disappear too 😢
So thank you for showing that actually we're not alone in feeling like poop
Really needed to see this video Shan! Thank you for being so honest. Motherhood can be hard at times x
I love that you’re being so honest with these difficult things, and I’m sure a lot of others appreciate it too. It’s okay to cry and to let it out, doesn’t mean you’re not grateful or a bad mom for feeling it❤ Being a mom is so beautiful but it can be challenging too.
I love how real you are! This makes me feel normal and that it isn’t just me but apart of motherhood for many of us! You are so not alone. You’ve got this 👏🏻🥰
Thank you for being so candid ❤ I totally relate with the difficulties you are having with George (my 3yo needs constant attention). It’s nice to know we’re not alone.
You totally deserve a break. Think of it as a way of modelling to the kids how to look after your mental wellbeing. They will learn that it’s important to look after their wellbeing too. I found this way of thinking helpful to lessen the mum guilt.
Shan your amazing! I love your videos, realistic, raw and relatable! Being a mum is so hard yet so rewarding, my little girl is 19 months old and the tantrums are starting, the continuous need for entertainment and attention wears me down and I'm forever doubting myself and questioning if I'm a good mum! Seeing you so down in this video brought me to tears but it also made me realise we're all having our struggles, our ups and downs, and I always remember what you once said "its not forever its just for now" Sending love and hugs ❤❤❤ You got this mama! Xxx
Thanks Shan. I’ve been having a tough time and this was a reminder that it can feel tough, it can feel lonely it can feel overwhelming and that it can feel fine the next moment. You’ve reminded me to reach out to my health visitor and GP and get help. Parenting is hard but we all need to figure out where our line is when we need help and this is a reminder that I’ve reached my line.
You are a brilliant Mum!! You are an inspiration showing the tough days! I remember those days well ❤️🩹 sending you a big hug xx
Thanks for posting this honest reflection of being a Mum, it really resonates with my experience of having a 2 year old and 5 month old. It is the hardest and best job in the world xx
I'm a boy mom and boy can I relate to everything you just described! I have the same feelings quite often, thank you so much for opening up, it feels better to know that it's. just. hard.
You're doing a great job!!
Shan you are an amazing mother! The highs and lows of parenting are intense.. on the days where I struggle with just 1 I can’t even comprehend how difficult that must be with 2! On top of everything else and being the default parent.
Feel free to message if you ever want to just get out with the kids and get to a park and have some non judgemental Mum company/support! X
Thank you for sharing your motherhood journey even in the most vulnerable moments. I don’t have many friends with little children and it really helps sometimes to see that there are others out there who are having very similar struggles and thoughts ❤ Motherhood truly is the most challenging thing I have ever done!
I don't have kids but I watch your vlogs often :) thank you so much for sharing the difficulties of motherhood... you are perhaps the most open and raw motherhood channel that I've seen, and it's so important to show all sides of it!
Awh Shan, this was hard to watch. You’re so not alone in feeling overwhelmed. I have an almost 3 year old and two nights a week my fiancé works night shift and I still worry about getting through those 4 hours alone between picking him up from nursery and bedtime, and he’s not a particularly difficult child at all, toddlers are just a lot! I also think we put so much more effort into our children’s emotional development and wellbeing than past generations did, but that takes a lot more out of us. Our parents and grandparents tended to have a philosophy that didn’t ‘pander’ to kids, whereas I put a lot of pressure on myself to nurture my little boy emotionally. I’m so proud of this but it takes so much patience and every ounce of effort some days. Hope you’re feeling better but wanted to say you’re not feeling anything unnatural and you’re not alone xxx
I just wanted to say I think you’re brilliant and very brave for putting this out there. You’re definitely not alone … it is so bloody hard but we’ve got this!
Your honesty is inspiring. You are not alone. Everyone who is a mum has felt like this over their parenting journey I promise you. The breakdowns are needed so get it out and off your shoulders. We got you xxx
I really respect you for sharing your vulnerable situations. It is so helpful to others (like me) to know we are not alone. Thank you. You are an amazing mum. Don’t ever feel guilty. You are a human as well as a mum. It’s so hard the way we raise children largely with one or two people taking most of the burden. You need to look after you too. And our little ones are the worst versions of themselves around the people they love the most so as hard as it is know he is a gorgeous and wonderful boy in the world and a credit to you. Lots of love xx
Hi Shan I live in United States and I have a 3 year old also. Since he turned 3 the tantrums have been really bad. I also sometimes have depression and cried a lot, so is normal you are not alone. In my case when I feel really sad I go for a walk, do exercise, listen to music and watch some tv and also look for advice with my family because I am a first time mom like you. Is normal to have those feelings motherhood is really hard and raising a human being is extremely difficult. Love and hugs. ❤
Oh Shan you are definitely not alone, those toddler years are brutal!! I saw the light when my little one turned 4 and it’s been so much better since then. It was sooo difficult and I only have one child. She does not have adhd but she is neurodiverse in some way, something we’re exploring at the moment. Sending you love and strength xxx
Thank you so much for being brave enough to share how you’re feeling. Can totally related to what you’re saying (have a 3 1/2 year old tornado and a newborn). And the house mess stuff, constant running around and tidying up is wearing. But know that it won’t be like this forever, it is a season. You will get time back for yourself and your kiddos will appreciate everything you’re doing for them. You’re an amazing mum - don’t lose faith in yourself. You’re a human being and that means we feel a range of emotions and that’s ok, there’s no guilt or shame in that. The fact you’re acknowledging all that is a huge example to your kids and you’re doing your absolute best for them. Look after yourself and take a break - happy mum = happy kiddos. Get dad to support you and tell him you need a break to go and do x, y or z (sometimes us mums are not so good at communicating our own needs until we are at breaking point). Think about what that break looks like for you beforehand so you don’t spend time doing cleaning / house stuff or feeling guilty. Even a hot bath with no phone, kids or interruptions makes a big difference on a difficult day. Good luck and I hope you get that well deserved break very soon x
You’re definitely not the only one who has days like that. You’re doing so so so well and I’m sure things will feel easier soon. Remember everything is a phase, even if it seems like a bloody long one! Sending so much love, and thank you for keeping it real ❤
I cried with you when you were in the car as i was like yes yes and yes!!! I totally relate. I have an almost 4 year old boy, similar to George, an absolute whirlwind. My boy is diagnosed autistic and i suspect adhd. Its soooo hard being that punching bag, clearing up the constant mess, walking egg shells with what feels like constant emotional shifts from them. I also have a 2.5 year old girl who although not as bad is in the "terrible twos". GOOD FOR YOU for leaving in that footage and GOOD FOR YOU for recognising you needed a walk and alone time to feel better, i am terrible for not recognising what i need and when and i get to burn out. Sending you big hugs ❤
I’ve had to pause the video to just come here and say I promise you are not doing anything wrong. My son is now 6 almost 7 and I went through this rough patch when he was around 3 years old and every day felt like the same battles. It would be round the clock tantrums and time outs that would go on for hours it felt never ending! Please please please believe me when I say it will get easier especially around school age and I know that it seems like such a long way off but before you know it those behaviours you mentioned will slowly fade away. It’s awful and it’s sh*t and you feel like you’re doing everything wrong but you are a brilliant mum. I’ve sat and cried and said the same things as you so I completely understand how you feel. Take your own advice and take a break, get some childcare and just reboot. You got this! ❤️
Thank you for this! Watching Shan in this video is like looking in a mirror at the moment with my 3 and a half year old (and a 9 month old) and I just feel like it's never going to end and you're the only one who is not coping. X
You an inspirational strong and amazing mother hun
Everyone has there hard days.
You keep smashing motherhood love and I love watching your videos as a young women honestly I really do adore you ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I’m so grateful you have shared this. I have children the exact same age and feel the same. Have spent a lot of time longing to be back at work and feeling guilty/like a shit mum for feeling that way. Sending a big hug. Thank you for sharing the hard bits xx
Huge hugs to you 🫶🏻 us Mums are so hard on ourselves and being the primary caregiver is tough. Even though we get a lot of the best moments, we also get a lot of the bad too. It is the hardest job in the world and it’s so easy to lose yourself to your kids. As we always say “it’s just a phase!” 🥲🫶🏻 stay strong and remember that you are always doing the best that you can. I used to think I was doing everything wrong, and somebody said to me “the fact that you worry about if you’re doing the right thing, already means that you are” and this has always stuck with me. We all relate to you so much and here with you every step of the way 🥰
110% feel you lovely. Promise you we all have those days and those children love you so much regardless. It will get better but get yourself a break because none of us are superwomen. Sending love ❤
You’re doing so well Shan. It’s hard, so incredibly hard but you’re doing it and your best is always good enough even on the worst of days xxx
Wow! Love this. Likewise this could have been me saying what you said almost word for word. I was going through a rough time for a couple of week before the clocks changed which I was dreading anyway. Then came April a new term for nursery my LG (3yr 4m) started doing an extra day at nursery. Omg she would turn into the hulk in 0.3 secs! This was mostly everyday, tantrums for no reason, hiting, biting etc (we'd get the odd day where it was normal and day to day went smoothly) But I've been like a grenade for a month and a half now and like you, last week my husband pull the pin and I exploded! Big time. 😭 I felt like I had been beaten and that i can't do this anymore, i fell broken! But very proud of you to put such a raw and real video out there. All parents go through something as hard as this, but not all show it. Which hides the reality. We'll done you. And big hugs I feel you too. 🥰 UK x
Awww Shan you really are the best mum ever , you really need to give yourself a pat on the back truly because you really do give yourself such a hard time and you really don’t need to 💕 I know your going through a lot but just please know you and your kids are going to look back at all these videos and laugh at all the struggles and they’ll remember all the amazing things you done with them 💕💕
I am so glad that you posted this video. I have many days / weeks where I have the exact same feelings. It’s amazing to
See how we aren’t alone in how we all feel. You are doing amazing Shan! Your kids are beautiful and you’re doing great ! Xx
Don't feel bad. We all get overwhelmed. Just remember, it gets better. Hang in there.
Aw Shan, this is so raw and honest. Thank you for sharing - I'm right there with you
I am feel your pain.
My daughter is 11 she was an absolute perfect baby, hit her milestone and also very easily manageable.
Since I have my son (3 years) I am feel like every day is a battle . I am solo parenting 3 days a week other 4 I am in work . Dominik has some difficulty, strongly believe he is on a spectrum. He is nonverbal and has very heavy meltdowns with self harm 😢 I feels very emotional and shame about my feelings in a same time. We have no help around grandparents are in Hungary.
I am just hoping it's get easier in one point soon as I am nearly in my breaking point.
It's good to know I am not alone with it and it's OK .
Keep going you are amazing ❤❤❤❤
15:11 I'm 100% there with you. My house ends up a state because my toddler throws everything she can reach, slams doors, screams at me. And it's so hard to keep calm!
But someone told me recently that children display all their emotion most in front of those who are their safe space, because they know you love them and are there for them ❤
Thank you so much for being a real mum! To actually put your self out there like that’s it’s brave.. your doing Amazing mumma! I have a 3year old son also the tantrums and the constant running off this week has hit me a lot.. we have got this mumma.. I wish I could give you a hug though the screen..
sending you much love Darling.. it do get better my older son is 10 now and it do get eaiser.
💕💕
Thank you for being honest. I feel TH-camrs can brush over the challenges of motherhood. Especially going from 1 to 2. So thanks for this video. And showing the realities of life!
Sending a big virtual hug 🫂 don't beat yourself up and everyone deserves a break 🫶 hopefully this wave 🌊 is coming to the end x
Your an amazing mum and yes everyone has these times and so grateful you put yourself out there to make others feel better that they're not alone. You got this mama xx
Oh Shan! I've felt like this recently - I'm a single Mum and have been since my daughter was born. She's almost 3 and trying to juggle it all with a toddler is HARD. I think Motherhood is just HARD but you have two and they both go to sleep each night fed and safe. There's so much to complain about and I feel part of the the guilt thing is that there's some kind of societial pressure to not complain as parents. I think it's okay to vent AND realise it will pass. Give yourself grace and rest where you can. I try to tell myself all the time, in 20 years is my daughter going to remember if the house was clean or is she going to remember if I was happy? Easier said than done. Keep going Mama, you're doing a great job. Sending loves ❤️
I feel you girl, the comment about being an emotional punch bag 🥲 it's alot! But you're doing amazing. Thank you for being honest, I feel so awful for feeling like this sometimes and it shows you're never alone xx
I want to send you a virtual hug! You’re a fab Mama and it’s all a phase! Xxx
Oh Shan, you're doing a cracking job and you're an amazing mom. I've watched your videos since I was pregnant three years ago, and in every video I see that you make your kids so happy. You make George so happy. We all have those days, I got really depressed this week for a couple of days and felt really shitty about that, but then the next day I'd suddenly snapped out of it. You can do this!
Oh sweetheart you look like you are doing a great job. You are trying to do your best for your family. You are human and if you feel like that I think it is helpful to talk to someone just to get it off your chest. If they love you they will listen. Believe me everyone goes thru times when they feel like everything they do is wrong. I am a great grandmother so I’ve been around the block a few times. Keep smiling you are amazing xxx
Hun, i felt every single word you said in this. Iv had the WORST day with my toddler. I just have the one child but i work full time and im sitting exams at the same time. Im trying to revise but my toddler is screaming holy hell for attention, refusing to eat and sleep.
Keep going. You need to have a break - you are not a bad mother for needing a break. Youll come back a better you ❤
Thanks for sharing. We’ve all been here! I found age 3 sooo challenging 🙈 my two are the same age gap as yours (but I’m 2 years ahead! Things are (overall) much more settled and “easier” now. And they SOMETIMES even play together. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still incredibly hard days (and my youngest is about to turn 3) so we will see how he gets on 🙈😅 but life feels easier in general, you’ve got this 😊xxx
I cried with you in this video. I felt this SO hard. It’s probably not so easy with 2 kids but you need a whole night away from this like a spa weekend with friends or stay with your mum for a night and just have no responsibilities for a whole day and night. I would be a wreck if I didn’t have these times. Even just having something in the diary makes me feel like I can get through those hard times. I literally cried in the car park of smyths on Friday because my 3 year old son had the most monumental tantrum in there and all the way to the car then he continued to hit and kick me and throw his toys at me in the car, then I screamed at him then I cried because I felt terrible. It was a mess! I know what you mean when you think “is this my life now”. Am I just supposed to take whatever my kids throw at me (literally!) but the only positive to come out of it is that you will appreciate those happy moments SO much more than ever before. When my 3 year old does something I’ve asked him to do first time, I feel like I’ve won the lottery 🤣
Sending so much love and I really hope you will get treated to some happy moments within the chaos!! 🙏🏼😘 xxx
Girl... I am with you. My husband works away for a month at the time and I feel so overwhelmed sometimes especially when the house stuff is getting way too much. We're thinking about getting a cleaner ...would it be an option for you...because everyone says it's the best thing they've ever done and I'm starting to believe them. Also when you can take a break... Try and get at least two nights away from the kids with NO GUILT ...I always feel like a day away is just never enough to fix anything ... I'm saying all this but I absolutely find it so difficult to implement myself. You're doing so good girl, you're doing it all so so well xxx
Thank you so much for the realness! So many of us put on a brave face because we have kids. We all feel like an emotional punchbag sometimes i think 🩷
Shan. You. Are. Incredible. 💞
Thank you for sharing this very honest and raw video love, I cried watching it. My little ones are near enough the same ages as yours and I’ve followed you from the beginning of my first pregnancy. You keep me going and inspire me that I’ve got this 💪🏽
Sending you all the positive vibes! ❤
You are 100% not the only one who feels like this. And by sharing what you have you are helping others who are feeling alone feel less alone. 💖
Hi Shan, aaw bless you. I really feel for you and just wanted to give you a hug. I'm a Children's Nurse. Have you thought about discussing how you are feeling mentally and emotionally with either your Health Visitor or GP? There is no stigma or shame in asking for help for yourself not just George. It's a sign of strength not weaknesses. We all need a bit of help sometimes. Just something to think about.
Do help visitors help a lot? And GP thought they are extremely over subscribed?
Omg I just want to give you a massive hug through the screen, I can not tell you how much I relate to everything you said. You’ve made me feel not alone so I hope you know you’re not alone too ❤
Ah bless your heart, it will all be okay. One day at a time. Being a mum is a hard job. I have watched you for a long time, and your a lovely mum, and we can only do the best we can. Try to have a little bit of time for yourself, do some meditation, just have some time out, be kind to yourself, big hugs, xx
Genuinely it could have been me saying this. I'm a mum of two and the guilt can be absolutely overwhelming, crippling even. The immense feeling of failure can be honestly awful. Please know though, you are not the only mum who feels like this, you are doing such an amazing job. You're a mum on TH-cam that I watch because you're so relatable and your a mum I look up to when parenting my own kids. The bad days come but they'll also go and the good days come back. ❤️
I had an age gap similar to yours and watching your video reminded me how hard it was at the stage you're at. My little boy was a real handful at the same age and inlived fornhis nursery days... but felt guilty for that but looking back it's totally fine and we need more mums to speak more about this so others know its normal..... so huge well done and thankyou for keeping it real! You're going a fab job xx
Sometimes is better to take a professional bathroom maker to remake it… it could save money for your family mental health. Your husband is amazing but sometimes doing certain things it could be more difficult with two little kids. whenever you have to decide, always choose the simplest version, even if it costs more. Love ❤
You are not alone ❤ I have been feeling like this for the last few weeks particularly, I was literally crying on the phone to my mum this morning. It can be so hard. I feel like You are speaking from my brain in that clip. Sending you lots of love xxx
Thank you sooo much for this. I have 3 boys 3, 2 and 6 months and feel like I'm drowning. My kids are my world but I'm struggling so much resulting in not being the best mum. That on top of hating my body post 3 kids worrying about money as I'm on my 3rd set of non paid leave and feeling like I no longer have a partner as he just dosent understand and I'm just angry all the time. Watching this made me realise we are all going through it tho so thank you
You are such an amazing and strong will mum I have met. You are an inspiration to us all.
You are such an incredible mom and so so brave to put this content out there!
I am a new mum and currently four months postpartum with my first and I genuinely watch your videos for inspiration and motivation on how to manage my time and be the best mom I can be. I think you are amazing and bad moms don’t worry whether or not they are good enough!
Keep doing you girl ❤
I think its really great that you show the real and rawness of life as an 'influencer' or someone that shows a lot of their life online..somtimes people only show the peachy perfect things which makes people feel like they are alone.. makes them feel below..but you show the real and its encouraging and positive ❤..
And as for the mum melt downs..anyone who says they dont are surely fibbing 😅..we are all just winging it! ❤ xxxxx
Ohhh mine are 5 and 8 now but I can really relate, when my 8 year old was 3 it was so so hard. So many tantrums all the time. I felt so alone. I really really feel for you and know how you feel. It gets easier as they become more independent xx
Yh I totally understand whether its 1 child or 2 children. Mum life is hard and its so important to get support from ur partner & to get a break if possible (as its very hard to get childcare). Im a single mum and proud. I hope u have a better week next week ❤
I've just had a baby & have a 3 & a half year old. Don't know how you coped all on your own, you're amazing!
shan, it pains me so much for you to be feeling this kind of doubt in yourself, when honestly, i look to you to find inspiration on how to be a better version of myself when it comes to mum life. all this goes to show is that we are all human. your babies are so incredibly lucky to have you and the way george is reacting is no representation on how you are parenting, just him finding his own way through life and all of the crazy emotions that come with it. so proud of you always xxx
Oh, this made me cry, sending you love ❤❤
It's great that you can show this. Little kids are so hard. Motherhood is so hard. It's just like having a job you've never done before but you've got to show up every day like you're a boss at it. Currently on year 3 of kids and house in a state of rennovation. It is a tip. When it all gets too much I know I need to either leave the house and/or get some time alone. Take it day by day. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's great. That's all I can say really. Hope you have more of the ups than the downs moving forward ❤
You break my heart ❤. You can’t blame yourself, really you can’t. You are amazing. Hopefully the health visitor will provide you with a report and might give you some guidance going forward . I would ask to be referred to a specialist in relation to his behaviour which might help you and George too. You are such a lovely person and you do more than your best. You are pretty, bright, kind and thoughtful. You need some guidance how to best deal with him. It is hard but nobody ever said it was. Speak to your new friend Liv. Don’t ever feel you can’t speak to anybody. You are really amazing 🤩
Sending you so so much love. Everything you are feeling is so valid. I always say to the women I work with in my professional life: if you’re worrying about being a good mum, you’re already a great mum. We aren’t designed to do this without a big village around us. Getting interventions for George early is what will make you life and his life easier in the long run.
Be kind to yourself.
I am also having my bathroom renovated at the moment at it’s so much on top of everything else. 💜💜
Having lived a similar life, one thing I will say is prioritise what’s important, is it a clean house, or your own peace of mind. It’s a difficult choice if always like your house and things in order, but sometimes you just have to let go. Something’s gotta give!
Bless you sweetheart I wanted to give you a hug and say your amazing you are a great mum to your beautiful kids and don't ever think your not we all have bad days I remember when my girls were little and my husband was putting our new kitchen in it was a nightmare mess everywere kids getting in the way I was pulling my hair out so just think how beautiful the bathroom will be when finished xxxxx
Shan your doing amazing especially with 2 children !! As a first time mum I'm totally having thoose days your talking about so your not alone in that! The days which are amazing with our children make it all worth while 😊😊 x
I'm sat here and also crying Shan this is so relatable. Please know you are not alone in this. I hope that your family can help, it seems you never get a break and that's always important please don't ever feel guilty for that. A happy mum is a happy child, you are doing great babe! And thank you for sharing the realness of motherhood, it really isn't all the happy and easy videos we see on social media ❤❤
I'm also going through a bathroom renovation for nearly 3 weeks now and I have no idea how I am surviving with only one toddler at home. But it will be worth it just remember its temporary ♥️
Hey hun! You know what - this age is SO freakin’ hard! My son is 3-4 months older than George and I have friends with similar age children too and we are all just saying it’s the hardest age ever. My son sounds similar to George - funny, boisterous, creative, cheeky and I have to say when he is tired or ill it’s a nightmare. Sleep is so so crucial. Sending hugs! I wish I could send help but we just have to survive through it 🙈❤️
Such a relatable situation, im sure we all jave feeling like this at times. Sounds like you have an awful lot going on at once. The dark days make the light shine brighter.
I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old and i totally understand all of what you're saying. I've said lots of times "what's the point in this life" as you ho through phases where all the toddler does is cry/seem upset and you end up feeling like you're life full of sadness and upset. But it's not always like that.
I don't know why it is so hard to be a parent. Is it harder now as we see so much of what everyone else is doing on social media and what we're missing out on perhaps. We're never allowed to just be present and in the moment due to our modern lifestyles so we have so much going on in our heads that being a parent, which is so bloody tough, on top of all that can make life seem impossible and unbearable.
I love my kids and my life but i wish it was easier for us all. Sending hugs xx