First Story: I noticed that OP’s parents have a habit of forcing people to do things. The uncle and the sister both gave in to their pressure. When OP didn’t, they came back banging on the door. These people have a real problem taking no for an answer. I seriously doubt that they would have come to see you if they didn’t need money. They’re terrible people and OP doesn’t need them in his life.
The part of the story that surprised me was that the "golden child" sibling didn't end up a drug addict like such stories tend to lean towards with golden children. Wasn't surprised about the parents ignoring OP or wanting his money when he became successful.
@@blitzwolfmon8297 well, drugs and etc usually associated with "forced golden child" or "beautifull golden child". When we talking about real geniuses, they usually doesnt need that, because again, they usually dont burn out from constant education. Funny thing, that real geniuses rarely interested in money aspect, sure, they can earn a lot by publishing, science work, but it's not guarantee and they dont care about it. They need stimulate their mind, not greed
@@helar2574 It was nice that OP and his sister were able to have a good relationship despite the circumstances which doesn't always happen in the "Golden Child" stories.
College does not always mean you will be successful. A lot of people who go to college or not successful people need to stop pushing college on their kids if they don’t want it.
S1. How did his parents _force_ the uncle to give them his address. Unless they we’re holding a gun to his head, what were they going to do, Yell at him?
You don’t sue for trespassing, you get a restraining order. You sue for damages. OP has no monetary damages. Now, if OP just wants to stick it to them, he can sue them for ‘something.’ Anyone can sue for anything. While OP would get nothing and could clearly afford legal fees, his parents would be stuck with a legal fee (absent using a public defender). At the least, it would be nerve wracking. Hopefully, OP is too busy living life to spend his time being vindictive. Besides, if he’s already determined to cut his parents loose, a lawsuit would not be worth either the time or the energy.
Opinion 1 in St 1: OP owes nothing to his parents. They DEMANDED his address, they were mad at him when he refused to help, he warned them and they came back causing damages just because they thought he didn't let them in. The audacity..The entitlement... And in opinion 1 all these are put aside just because OP ...laughed at their faces? OP is NTA, but you sure are
Most of my cousins and an aunt and uncle didn't like me because I was favored most out of all the grandkids. I was first born. But thats not all out of all my cousins ive never mistreated my grandparents,never caused them emotional pain, never not paid them back after them loaning me money, never stolen from them, never misused their trust, never treated their property as a junk yard, after I turned 19 I stopped taking large pre wants for Xmas or bday. Imonly requested my grandma make me a pecan pie. She made the best pies. All my other cousins except 3 have done those things. I have 14 cousins. One xmas my uncle jealous I got more live and respect from grandparents pitched a fit.while everyone was opening presents my gma told me mines onbthe cabinet by then other pies wrapped in tinfoil. I gotnup and tooknut to my car to take home. Mynuncle got pissy and asked why does he get a whole pecan pie to himself? My grandma proceeded to shame the whole family. Not on purpose though. She looked at her 35 year old son, I was 23. She says outnof everyone here he's the only one that puts me and your father over himself.by this time every on is listening.She gone on by saying do you see him opening any other presents? Since he was 19 he said for us to save our money not to get him big presents just make him a pecan pie. And thats why he gets a pie. That's his one and only Xmas gift he wants from me and your dad.no tv's no video games no toys no tools no electronics nothing. Just 1 pie that costs 5 bucks to make. I was embarased my grandma told them.she put my uncle in his place as henunwrapped his computer moniter they got him that he hinted at them geting for him that cost 350 bucks. If my grandma asked anything ifnit was in my power it was done. If they needed help done. Right after work id be thee.or on days off id be there. I have a cousin who stole her bank card and used it with his bitch wife to buy things and go on a weekend trip to a casino spending like 12k of her money she lived on. She's legally blind and living alone.My aunt her daughter the mom of the the if cousin lived 2 doors down and went to the store for her. He stole the bank card from his mom's purse while the mom and her hubby were brink gningroceries. My dumb aunt had the pass code written on a post it paper.when my grandma asked for her card my aunt covered for her son and said oh I must have left it in my purse at home.kept using that excuse.by after a week the bank called and asked about the wierd charges and withdrawls.they had video and pictures from the atm.MIT was my cousin and his wife. My grandma old my cousin return the money he told her to fuk off.My grandma wasn't going to,press charges at first but me my father and oldest uncle the best 3 of the family with actual morals made her do it.since him and his wife left the state it was federal charges. She got probation he was already a felon so he got 4 years.plus had to pay it back.he was a Jun my and we had suspicions he flipped on someone to only get those 4. Then 4 months after he got out he broke in while grandma was asleep and stole her silver dinner settings her gold and silver coins a bunch of money and jewelry. He was caught though because as soon as my uncle heard he got out he installed security system and cameras. One even pointed at the window he knew couldn't be locked. They raided his house and that price of shit used his 2 her old hold as a shield so the cops wouldn't tackle or shoot him. They this time found solen items in his house and pain meds not perscribed to him.he went for 6 years this time.him and wife lost custody of their kids.through all this my aunt his mom kept begging my grandma not to,press charges.even after they found guns solen by him from her husband he reported missing to cops.he's a puke.
story 1: op's biggest mistake it that he announced that he's moving out...should have gone out in secret and cut all contact....they won't miss in anyway.....
When you throw away things, you can't ask for it back, they threw you away, they have no shame asking for your help. Live your own life, don't feel quilty for not helping strangers. At the end of the day, they abused you.
2nd story. OP NTA your father showed you the toxic entitled narcissist that he is. His wedding and adult life is not your responsibility. His right to claim you on taxes ended the moment you became financially and personally independent. The moment you are no longer living at home and self reliant, his right ends, and that he expected to leach off you after that shows his monumental selfishness and the above stated narcissism was confirmed when he called and tried to make you out to be the bad guy for simply not acquiescing to his expectations and entitlement. Stand strong OP, I know it's hard to cut the tie but you are far better off with out him in your life.
Last: I compliment OP for wriggling out of what appears to be a very unpleasant holiday for him. Maybe it's time to reevaluate the wedding itself if there are no kids. Because it appears he married in haste and is repenting at leisure Also he should check whether he wants to be so close to these work buddies (and treat them to alcohol and snacks) when they all willingly expose his lie about the work trip!
The funny part about the parents is they're shocked their daughter isn't in a well paid position. Academia pays pennies. People get into it out of passion rather than a desire for money, becuase they'll likely never see it even if they're well published.
I am so over parents telling their kids they owe them for doing WHAT THE LAW SAYS THEY MUST DO. OP was paying rent and babysitting so she really was no longer a dependent. Her father is a garbage human being for lording it over her that he did the goddamn bare minimum parents are legally required to do.
Will there EVER be a post where the parents want to reconnect because they realized what garbage parents they are and want to make amends? It’s always always selfish reasons. Always they need money, medical assistance, or a place to crash. SMH
Think i have read about 2 that had a real life epiphany about the bs against a 'black sheep' that actualy went well. So many more about GMYM syndrome (Give me your money) or show us our grandchild etc.
@@neil999ish yeah, and it's rare cases because parents in them actually suffers from some pretty heavy traumas, not that this make them right, just some circumstances is really shit for all
As you said the amount to pay for the house will not hurt you. Pay for the house put it in your name. Have them sign contract to never contact you again or you will sell the house.
Sometimes people are slow learners, you can be as polite as possible and they belive everything is over, well it ain't over and it ain't gloating, just finally telling someone the truth about their horrible parenting, if they had been good parents to both kids , no problem. You don't get to treat your kids like shit bc they won't conform to being mimi you.
You are not the a-hole, but you need to learn how to take care of you!! Don't let others get you down, know your worth!! You love your dad, but you will not be his doormat!!
Whenever you have the family giving you contact about how you should sacrifice. Always suggest that you will contribute X dollars as long as everybody. Else contributes an equal amount to bail them out of their financial problems. So anybody that's prepared to do that contact you or shut up.
S1 It's like a punter going to the tote window and showing the losing ticket for "Noble Warrior' who came last and asking to be paid their winnings because Noble Warrior's brother "Gentle Soul" won the race! You backed the wrong horse, f00ls. At the least you could have hedged your bets. LOL
14:00 If an adult feels dark despair after hearing her father scream and shout YET cannot end the call and shut him out .............. she better go fully dark with the butthole as he is not sane but is driving her mad too. He has no money, yet wants to get married. Does he want OP to subsidize his married life?
3rd story ESH OP your wife, because she needs to be more sensitive to your discomfort around your family, and their obnoxiousness, as well as drawing in her parents regarding and issue that should have remained between the two of you. You for lying to your wife, Never a good thing in a marriage, you need to both communicate better and be more sensitive to each other. GET MARRIAGE COUNCILING!!
Story one they always just want money or a kidney, estranged parents are never really sorry. Last Story what the heck your wife won’t allow you to skip her obnoxious family vacation? Fudge that ….grow a pair say I love you, I won’t be spending my vacation with your family ever again, you Ho whoop it up, I’m doing me. End of story.
Sounds like granny’s entitled… wonder where brother got that. Parents program personalities in the first three years of life. If your kids has a personality disorder, & you were their caregiver …. I know no one wants to accept it, but parents bear the majority of blame, if their kid has a personality disorder. Look it up.
Story 2- op, your father is a terrorist. Awful. Trying to bully you. This is not how a parent should act. He is in the wrong. You owe him nothing for providing the bare minimum while you were growing up. Not to mention , you paid rent. He’s so far out of line. So he removed you from fb and uninvited you? Good. Why would you want someone like that in your life? When someone asks something from you, how does being terrible to that person (in this case you) going to make that person want to give what they are asking? IT DOESNT. Go lc or nc op. I’m sorry he treats you this way. Do not amend your taxes. NTA
I’m sorry but I’m what country does academic work ever provide a better living. One look at the cars in the University Parking lot should tell people what they need to know
So broke they will have to sell the house. Then sell the house!!
Fiancal abuse of your child should be a jailable offense, not a civil case
First Story: I noticed that OP’s parents have a habit of forcing people to do things. The uncle and the sister both gave in to their pressure. When OP didn’t, they came back banging on the door. These people have a real problem taking no for an answer. I seriously doubt that they would have come to see you if they didn’t need money. They’re terrible people and OP doesn’t need them in his life.
The main story never seems to change . It is always about money .
It's not about the money spiderman
@@Robert-xw3wg with great money comes great number of lost relatives
The part of the story that surprised me was that the "golden child" sibling didn't end up a drug addict like such stories tend to lean towards with golden children. Wasn't surprised about the parents ignoring OP or wanting his money when he became successful.
@@blitzwolfmon8297 well, drugs and etc usually associated with "forced golden child" or "beautifull golden child". When we talking about real geniuses, they usually doesnt need that, because again, they usually dont burn out from constant education.
Funny thing, that real geniuses rarely interested in money aspect, sure, they can earn a lot by publishing, science work, but it's not guarantee and they dont care about it. They need stimulate their mind, not greed
@@helar2574 It was nice that OP and his sister were able to have a good relationship despite the circumstances which doesn't always happen in the "Golden Child" stories.
Tax story: Was he claiming the rent on HIS taxes?
Now THIS is an outstanding question. I would guess that the answer is NO!
Some of the best people and the things they have created, never stepped foot on a college campus
College does not always mean you will be successful. A lot of people who go to college or not successful people need to stop pushing college on their kids if they don’t want it.
That depends how you measure success. Too much emphasis is put on finances. You can be successful in your field without making a lot of money
S1, NTA, run the case for a “Protection Order” put them at risk of prison if they try it on again.
S1. How did his parents _force_ the uncle to give them his address. Unless they we’re holding a gun to his head, what were they going to do, Yell at him?
You don’t sue for trespassing, you get a restraining order. You sue for damages. OP has no monetary damages. Now, if OP just wants to stick it to them, he can sue them for ‘something.’ Anyone can sue for anything. While OP would get nothing and could clearly afford legal fees, his parents would be stuck with a legal fee (absent using a public defender). At the least, it would be nerve wracking. Hopefully, OP is too busy living life to spend his time being vindictive. Besides, if he’s already determined to cut his parents loose, a lawsuit would not be worth either the time or the energy.
Opinion 1 in St 1: OP owes nothing to his parents.
They DEMANDED his address, they were mad at him when he refused to help, he warned them and they came back causing damages just because they thought he didn't let them in. The audacity..The entitlement...
And in opinion 1 all these are put aside just because OP ...laughed at their faces? OP is NTA, but you sure are
Most of my cousins and an aunt and uncle didn't like me because I was favored most out of all the grandkids. I was first born. But thats not all out of all my cousins ive never mistreated my grandparents,never caused them emotional pain, never not paid them back after them loaning me money, never stolen from them, never misused their trust, never treated their property as a junk yard, after I turned 19 I stopped taking large pre wants for Xmas or bday. Imonly requested my grandma make me a pecan pie. She made the best pies. All my other cousins except 3 have done those things. I have 14 cousins. One xmas my uncle jealous I got more live and respect from grandparents pitched a fit.while everyone was opening presents my gma told me mines onbthe cabinet by then other pies wrapped in tinfoil. I gotnup and tooknut to my car to take home. Mynuncle got pissy and asked why does he get a whole pecan pie to himself? My grandma proceeded to shame the whole family. Not on purpose though. She looked at her 35 year old son, I was 23. She says outnof everyone here he's the only one that puts me and your father over himself.by this time every on is listening.She gone on by saying do you see him opening any other presents? Since he was 19 he said for us to save our money not to get him big presents just make him a pecan pie. And thats why he gets a pie. That's his one and only Xmas gift he wants from me and your dad.no tv's no video games no toys no tools no electronics nothing. Just 1 pie that costs 5 bucks to make. I was embarased my grandma told them.she put my uncle in his place as henunwrapped his computer moniter they got him that he hinted at them geting for him that cost 350 bucks. If my grandma asked anything ifnit was in my power it was done. If they needed help done. Right after work id be thee.or on days off id be there. I have a cousin who stole her bank card and used it with his bitch wife to buy things and go on a weekend trip to a casino spending like 12k of her money she lived on. She's legally blind and living alone.My aunt her daughter the mom of the the if cousin lived 2 doors down and went to the store for her. He stole the bank card from his mom's purse while the mom and her hubby were brink gningroceries. My dumb aunt had the pass code written on a post it paper.when my grandma asked for her card my aunt covered for her son and said oh I must have left it in my purse at home.kept using that excuse.by after a week the bank called and asked about the wierd charges and withdrawls.they had video and pictures from the atm.MIT was my cousin and his wife. My grandma old my cousin return the money he told her to fuk off.My grandma wasn't going to,press charges at first but me my father and oldest uncle the best 3 of the family with actual morals made her do it.since him and his wife left the state it was federal charges. She got probation he was already a felon so he got 4 years.plus had to pay it back.he was a Jun my and we had suspicions he flipped on someone to only get those 4. Then 4 months after he got out he broke in while grandma was asleep and stole her silver dinner settings her gold and silver coins a bunch of money and jewelry. He was caught though because as soon as my uncle heard he got out he installed security system and cameras. One even pointed at the window he knew couldn't be locked. They raided his house and that price of shit used his 2 her old hold as a shield so the cops wouldn't tackle or shoot him. They this time found solen items in his house and pain meds not perscribed to him.he went for 6 years this time.him and wife lost custody of their kids.through all this my aunt his mom kept begging my grandma not to,press charges.even after they found guns solen by him from her husband he reported missing to cops.he's a puke.
If you're done signal virturing, here's your 🍪
@@HeavenLeeMadeOnEtsy virtue signaling, but yeah I agree
story 1: op's biggest mistake it that he announced that he's moving out...should have gone out in secret and cut all contact....they won't miss in anyway.....
When you throw away things, you can't ask for it back, they threw you away, they have no shame asking for your help. Live your own life, don't feel quilty for not helping strangers. At the end of the day, they abused you.
The YTA vote is dumb.
Story 1- O.P should not have dropped the charges.
Story #2. He threw his daughter away for $2k 😮. Straight trash of a person.
I checked out after hearing the word "dropshipping". It's the lowest word I know.
Last story: OP needs a new wife. Or at least to suggest divorce as she has no respect for him.
2nd story. OP NTA your father showed you the toxic entitled narcissist that he is. His wedding and adult life is not your responsibility. His right to claim you on taxes ended the moment you became financially and personally independent. The moment you are no longer living at home and self reliant, his right ends, and that he expected to leach off you after that shows his monumental selfishness and the above stated narcissism was confirmed when he called and tried to make you out to be the bad guy for simply not acquiescing to his expectations and entitlement. Stand strong OP, I know it's hard to cut the tie but you are far better off with out him in your life.
Last: I compliment OP for wriggling out of what appears to be a very unpleasant holiday for him. Maybe it's time to reevaluate the wedding itself if there are no kids.
Because it appears he married in haste and is repenting at leisure
Also he should check whether he wants to be so close to these work buddies (and treat them to alcohol and snacks) when they all willingly expose his lie about the work trip!
The funny part about the parents is they're shocked their daughter isn't in a well paid position. Academia pays pennies. People get into it out of passion rather than a desire for money, becuase they'll likely never see it even if they're well published.
The average salary of a professor is over $100k a year in the US.
Either someone is eligible to claim you or they’re not. There’s no “letting”.
Suing them for what? A broken pot? I can see a call to the cops for trespass, but this sounds fairly scrambled.
I am so over parents telling their kids they owe them for doing WHAT THE LAW SAYS THEY MUST DO. OP was paying rent and babysitting so she really was no longer a dependent. Her father is a garbage human being for lording it over her that he did the goddamn bare minimum parents are legally required to do.
The trash took itself out with the tax story.Don't worry about someone who treats you as a burden.
Do your wife called her mommy and daddy? Dang I would have lied too!!!
Will there EVER be a post where the parents want to reconnect because they realized what garbage parents they are and want to make amends? It’s always always selfish reasons. Always they need money, medical assistance, or a place to crash. SMH
Monsters don't change. If the situation is so extreme that the OP must escape for their own health and sanity, then the parents are monsters.
There are some, but very rare indeed and not very successefull at most
Think i have read about 2 that had a real life epiphany about the bs against a 'black sheep' that actualy went well.
So many more about GMYM syndrome (Give me your money) or show us our grandchild etc.
@@neil999ish yeah, and it's rare cases because parents in them actually suffers from some pretty heavy traumas, not that this make them right, just some circumstances is really shit for all
Leopards can't change their spots. OP's parents will never change and only came around for a handout from their neglected son.
As you said the amount to pay for the house will not hurt you. Pay for the house put it in your name. Have them sign contract to never contact you again or you will sell the house.
Sometimes people are slow learners, you can be as polite as possible and they belive everything is over, well it ain't over and it ain't gloating, just finally telling someone the truth about their horrible parenting, if they had been good parents to both kids , no problem. You don't get to treat your kids like shit bc they won't conform to being mimi you.
Golden children often have failure to launch. They are set up to fail but they have a cushy life.
The majority of these OPs are pushovers! Is it a cultural difference 🤔 because that could never happen to me.
The obvious answer is to buy their house and charge them rent
Buy their house, kick them.out, and tear the house down.
You are not the a-hole, but you need to learn how to take care of you!! Don't let others get you down, know your worth!! You love your dad, but you will not be his doormat!!
Whenever you have the family giving you contact about how you should sacrifice. Always suggest that you will contribute X dollars as long as everybody. Else contributes an equal amount to bail them out of their financial problems. So anybody that's prepared to do that contact you or shut up.
S1 It's like a punter going to the tote window and showing the losing ticket for "Noble Warrior' who came last and asking to be paid their winnings because Noble Warrior's brother "Gentle Soul" won the race!
You backed the wrong horse, f00ls. At the least you could have hedged your bets. LOL
S1 OP should pay $ x into their bank account every month to pay for utilities, food. Reassess after 12 m. Just to get them off his back
@@seraglioborneo2803you do not reward terrorists! At this point that’s pretty much what they are.
14:00 If an adult feels dark despair after hearing her father scream and shout YET cannot end the call and shut him out .............. she better go fully dark with the butthole as he is not sane but is driving her mad too.
He has no money, yet wants to get married. Does he want OP to subsidize his married life?
3rd story ESH OP your wife, because she needs to be more sensitive to your discomfort around your family, and their obnoxiousness, as well as drawing in her parents regarding and issue that should have remained between the two of you. You for lying to your wife, Never a good thing in a marriage, you need to both communicate better and be more sensitive to each other. GET MARRIAGE COUNCILING!!
Story one they always just want money or a kidney, estranged parents are never really sorry.
Last Story what the heck your wife won’t allow you to skip her obnoxious family vacation? Fudge that ….grow a pair say I love you, I won’t be spending my vacation with your family ever again, you Ho whoop it up, I’m doing me. End of story.
Sounds like granny’s entitled… wonder where brother got that. Parents program personalities in the first three years of life. If your kids has a personality disorder, & you were their caregiver …. I know no one wants to accept it, but parents bear the majority of blame, if their kid has a personality disorder. Look it up.
So are they hillbillies or Italian
Story 2- op, your father is a terrorist. Awful. Trying to bully you. This is not how a parent should act. He is in the wrong. You owe him nothing for providing the bare minimum while you were growing up. Not to mention , you paid rent. He’s so far out of line. So he removed you from fb and uninvited you? Good. Why would you want someone like that in your life? When someone asks something from you, how does being terrible to that person (in this case you) going to make that person want to give what they are asking? IT DOESNT. Go lc or nc op. I’m sorry he treats you this way. Do not amend your taxes. NTA
😊200$ per month. Call Ir s
I’m sorry but I’m what country does academic work ever provide a better living. One look at the cars in the University Parking lot should tell people what they need to know