I’ve lived in six different cities in Japan, and most Japanese people outside of Tokyo don’t even like Tokyo. If you’re a social person then Tokyo is the worst place to make your abode. Osaka, on the other hand, has the funnest, straightforward, and helpful people in Japan, but the city itself doesn’t have much to offer in terms of places to go. Being part of Kansai, however, you can go to other prefectures like Kyoto and Kobe quickly and affordably. Tokyo in comparison has many great places to visit within the city itself. The people here are sad, stressed, and grumpy 98% of the time. People,in Tokyo are not very sociable because they know very little about other places outside of Tokyo. If you’re extroverted then Osaka is the place for you. If you’re introverted then Tokyo would be a great place for you. Tokyo is fun if you like being alone, which is what happens when you get older and wiser.
@@spawnrcandbikesUnfortunately I haven’t. Everyone in Japan loves Okinawa, but the locals have been wanting to become independent from Japan for generations…
@@thewritetable I’ve heard this so often. Tokyo has a very toxic chaos that slowly strangles the life out of you. But I look forward to visiting everywhere else!
I live around Tokyo for many years and have been to Osaka several times for fun and for work. They have completely different cultures and people. This is so accurate.
I love how well you articulated your experience. Moving to a new country or even a different state/region in your own country always feels the same no matter where you are. I was born in India, and my parents moved to the US when I was 6. A few years later we moved back to India but to a different state. Years later, I then studied in the UK but had to move back to India. I've been living in New Zealand for the past year and a half. Let me tell you that every single one of those moves made me feel like I didn't belong, even when I went back to India! I resonate with your feelings. A new country is not always the perfect place you imagine it to be. If your heart is content despite the hardships, then that's where you want to call home. As an anime fanatic, I idolize Japan and would love to visit someday. Thanks for being open about your experiences and sharing ways to get around the issues!
Thanks for sharing! As a learner I get tired of "DON'T SAY KUDASAI" click bait videos and enjoy when there's just some honest communication about feelings and expectations and such.
I lived in Tokyo for several years in the early 90s. It was a life changing experience. (Imagine living in a Tokyo with no mobile phones, Internet, Google maps, or English signage in train stations. When leading edge comms tech was pagers and faxes.) I spoke a little Japanese when I arrived. People could understand my textbook baby Japanese, but I couldn’t understand the KEIGO of shop workers when they replied to my questions, and I couldn’t understand the causal Japanese if my coworkers as they talked to each other. But, before too long, I was chatting with colleagues over beers after a day full of speaking KEIGO to our customers. The first year was a honeymoon, powered by the thrill of being in the country I had studied for years. But after that, I began to see a dark side of Japan that nobody tells you about. I thought was prepared for the xenophobia, but although people were polite and helpful, it became clear that they could never fully accept foreigners. For example, the first question everybody asked was, “When did you arrive in Japan!” Invariably, the second question was, “When are you are you leaving?” So different than the mindset of the melting pot of America. You might find it impossible to establish a close friendship with a Japanese person. Given time, you will become aware of the endemic government corruption, the farce of elections, and the “sho ga nai,” attitude of the citizens regarding this situation. The sexual harassment. The pervasive effect of the “deru kugi wa utareu,” mindset. The inability of any organization to make a decision or to react to emergencies if the response has not been previously scripted and approved. That’s just the beginning. I love big cities, and Tokyo is one of the most vibrant, exciting, cleanest, and well run cities in the world. But it is also terribly isolating, even for Japanese natives. I found the writings of the American ex-pat “Max Danger” to be illuminating. One observation borne out by my personal experience was that ex-pats go through three stages while in Japan: 1. These Japanese are so different. I will never understand them. 2. When you get past the language differences and cultural quirks, we are all people. We are all alike inside. 3. These Japanese are so different. I will never understand them. Enjoy your adventure. But be aware that Japan can be very hostile to other Asians, regardless of their country of origin, and they can be suspicious of foreigners who speak Japanese too well.
I did the same as you - worked for close to 2 years in 90s!! small world What helped me was knowing even before I went that I would never be a Japanese. Having traveled a bit around Japan - it's nice hear Japanese questions based on their innocence. They are just being curious and polite. (へええ、日本語、すごい上手ですねぇぇ、どうして、そんな上手なの？）。笑い － When your Japanese clearly sucks. But - dude man - this is their culture. When you are non-judgmental - and bring positive energy to everyone - Japan is great. There are so many obstacles Japan must get over. Our stay in Japan still had an expensive yen. But it was declining due to the R/E bubble bursting. What I can't quite get my head around is WHY cannot Japan bring their post-WW2 successes to the present? Post WW2, they built their country up for the ashes. Why cannot they apply that mindset to today. But - nope - instead you have office workers working insane hours, but aren't really productive. They go out to drink after work, sleep in the office at noontime, and adhere to the senpai/kohai mindset irrespective of a meritocracy. Instead, it's like a caste system based on age - which causes so many problems.
Greg, do you know it's the US that's competely changed Japan? The country has been under US occupation for eight decades. (It was really the US that engineered the so-called Pacific War. The US framed Japan and blamed Japan for everything.) The Japanese can't do anything to change the course of their country. The government has always been controlled by ClA. The US (and the whole world) is now in the same situation and the tyranny is getting worse by the day. Imagine Americans living under foreign occupation for eight decades. Japan isn't really hostile to other nations. Japan's politics, MSM and military are all controlled by ClA. That's why you have that wrong impression. Tension, conflicts and wars are all created on purpose by those who control the world. Foreginers (especially non-whites) will always be considered foreigners in the US, too. I now live in Brazil. Japanese born here aren't considered Brazilian even if their grandparents were born in Brazil.
I lived in Japan for a year on a working holiday and when I initially got there, my Japanese was incredibly basic. The first 2-3 months were kinda lonely because I was living in Atami (where most people just visit for a weekend getaway) I eventually moved to a city in Saitama and started making friends, landed a new job and everything went up from there. The people in my area were so nice. I’d regularly have people give me a “おはようございます” when I was heading for the station in the morning. I lived in a city with hardly any white guys, so I stood out like a sore thumb, but people were very friendly there!! I’d also stop and talk to neighbours if I wasn’t in a rush to get to work. 🥺 I really miss it and I wouldn’t have moved back if my visa didn’t expire. No country is perfect and Japan also has its issues, but I found myself in Japan and I want to get back there to see how life would be in the long term of living out there.
日本に移り住んで来られる方たちは、みんな勇気があるなぁと、尊敬してます👍 この前の冬には精神的に辛い時期を過ごされたとのことで、心配になってしまいました。 あなたのお話の中で、日本の嫌なことを受け入れられるようになったら、本当に好きになれるとお話しされていたのには感銘を受けました。 日本人としてとても勇気付けられます😂 （I respect people who move to Japan. Everyone is very brave. You mentioned that you had been going through a difficult emotional period last winter, which made me concerned. I was impressed by what you said in your talk: "Once you can learn to accept the things about Japan that you don't like as much and after a while, I'm probably not going to feell as strongly as i do in the future." As a Japanese person, I find this very encouraging.） 体調に気をつけて、がんばって👍 （Take care of yourself and do your best.）
Thank God! You finally said what I’ve always wanted to hear. Everyone who doesn’t live in Japan tends to romanticize it, while those who live there or have moved there often speak negatively about it. But you balanced the positives and negatives so well in your speech, and it made me think: ‘Don’t we all feel this way about the countries we live in, with that love-hate relationship?’ As someone who idealizes Japan for the same reasons you mentioned, your perspective gave me such relief. Your video also served as a warning or a reminder of the things I need to be aware of before deciding to live there and pursue my dream. It's normal to expect difficulties as a newbie foreigner, and I’m grateful for that reality check.
I think language knowledge is huge for living abroad. I moved countries twice. The first time I didn’t speak the local language and it was tough. The second time I was fluent in the local language and it was so much easier.
What you’ve felt is essentially the same as what Japanese people from towns in rural areas experience when they move to Tokyo. Tokyo’s unique negative aspects have been talked about since the 70s and have often inspired songs. Yet, people will always aspire to go to Tokyo. That’s because Tokyo isn’t just part of Japan-it’s its own special place. In fact, TOKYO is not Japan; it’s an independent state all on its own.😆
ありがとうございました。 Thank you for sharing. I started learning the language for real about 5 months ago, after years of off and on limited learning. And now im at a point in my life where I can pop on a flight to visit. I plan to visit enough to see if I'm interested in living there. But only once im able to read more comfortably. I want to speak well enough to have that impact you mentioned amongst those who are glad you speak the language so well.
This is so interesting. I am from Germany, and people there are very cold and serious and our winter days are quite dark and gloomy. So I am kinda used to that depressive winter atmosphere, thats why despite living in Japan for a few years now, I never noticed these aspects. But I can relate to the other things you mentioned.
A German family recently moved to my area and they brought their coldness with them. Now I feel uncomfortable in my own neighborhood. I hope they will move soon.
@@songandwind72 where do you live? to be honest, I sometimes even miss the grumpiness of germans. you never have to act like you are in a good mood. on some days here in japan the forced friendliness goes on my nerves.
@@impepenane Well it's never fun when Germans are showing their selfishness and hatred. I would call going to someone else's country and creating a hostile environment an "act of war."
I'm living in Tokyo right now for school, but I already had many friends and could speak Japanese before I decided to come here. When I'm feeling alone I just reach out to that group and its fine. I guess my case is just a very fortunate one. I also lived in big cities in USA my whole life so Tokyo is just LA in Japanese in my mind lol I'm used to being ignored in public already but being black in Japan is still a little rare I guess so I do see stares here and there. I also really recommend to anyone to find a nice sharehouse if they care to meet Japanese people who are interested in making close friends with foreign people, or even meeting other foreigners living in Japan. It really helped me acclimate quickly!
Your Japanese is so incredible you inspire me a lot !! I lived in Tokyo last year as an exchange student studying Japanese, and want to return to work next year. I was diagnosed autistic as an adult, I’m very small, quiet and introverted and very good at reading the room and following what others do (due to growing up undiagnosed). For me, Tokyo has been the most comfortable place to live in my entire life ー I’ve lived in 5 countries and many cities! For someone like me, fitting in completely has never been possible, but I feel like I fit in the most in Tokyo. I love idols and I made friends at idol events, was surrounded by happiness all the time, but in London everything is so depressing and people are a lot colder and I can’t fit in here, can’t enjoy my hobbies. I’m so excited to be back in Tokyo and continue the happiness I found there last year
I’ve recently moved to Tokyo from Australia and been here 5 almost months so far. I can relate to everything you’ve said in this video. Every place has its pros and cons but so far the pros FAR outweigh the cons in Japan. Learn the language, integrate, understand the culture and it’ll feel like home in no time.
Great video. I learned a couple of lessons that may relate. 1. Traveling or vacationing somewhere is VERY different than living there. I learned that years ago when I moved to Hawaii. 2. "It doesnt have to be perfect. It just has to be better than the alternative." While what you said about Tokyos negatives are true - at least you dont have to worry about being shot, stabbed, homeless, being pushed on the subway tracks, mentally ill people walking around, like you do in NYC. The last time I was in Tokyo I walked nearly 10 miles in one day without a care in the world for my safety. Good luck with that in NYC, LA or some of our major cities in the U.S.
So this was a fascinating video and I'm so happy that I randomly stumbled upon your channel! I just started my youtube channel to document my Japanese learning journey because I hope to study in Tokyo next year! I have always heard that it can be lonely in Japan, but I think I am somehow prepared for that since I have already lived in Germany which can also be lonely haha. However, I did notice that it gets WAY easier once you learn the language so I think that learning Japanese will be the most difficult part. There are pros and cons to every country but I do hope the pros outweigh the cons when it comes to Japan!! THANK YOU for the interesting video!
I live in Thailand, visit Japan a lot. I have friends in Nagoya, Tokyo, Takayama, Beppu & Osaka. Japan is the only introverted country I have ever visited. I LOVE the safety, politeness, great food, fantastic Whisky Bars & traditional culture in Japan. I am retired and have heard so many horror stories about "the Japanese Work Culture". From Japanese & Foreigners. Osaka, however, is unlike the entire rest of the country. Everybody is young, friendly and it seems like an island of openness in a closed society.
I sort of know Japanese. I've been going to Japan for 20 years and within the last six using Google translate has made it super easy. So I don't know why everybody's saying you need to know Japanese. You don't REALLY need to know but it does show respect in my opinion. You are coming from another country and making Japan your home and you are taking the time to learn a language. Japanese culture respects that and it does make it easier to have Japanese citizens warm up to you. Keep in mind a LOT of stuff is already in English (road signs, subway directions, etc) A lot of places have English menus and Google translate is truly awesome. And if you have a Samsung ultra 24 it literally translates in real time so you can have full conversations with people. The big thing i've learned in all my times there (sometimes for a few months) is that if you respect the culture, the rules and the way of life, they will in fact treat you like you belong. "fitting in" is basically you just following along. That's HUGE in the culture. 出る釘は打たれる as they say. Also, Tokyo is NOT the place you want to live...you want to hang out and party there. You want to live outside of Tokyo. Tokyo is vegas...LOL...its great to go to and hang but to live. ...meh. its very isolated as far as a good place to feel warm. People are kind and cool to you there but its more of a outer shine...its more service oriented. Osaka...you wanna live there if you want a city. or Sendai. or Saitama...people are very open and friendly.
Great place to live Yokohama. Good food, lots to do and the people are really friendly. It's also a large city but it has a different vibe than Tokyo. I love Tokyo. Love it to death, asakusa is my favorite place in Tokyo. And that's the only place I'd live if I moved to Tokyo. When I bought my Akiya in saitama I knew I was an hour and a half from Tokyo but I also knew a lot of the stuff I love about Japan was available there as well I'll be posting videos about the purchase or the house and about the first time I step foot in it which is Dec this year. If a mega quake doesn't take it out first
New subscriber here , I’ve been watching the instagram content you’ve been posting about Japan and it’s been very informative helpful for me, Thank you. I stayed in Yokohama/tokyo for about 3.5 weeks and honestly it was a huge culture shock coming from the background I grew up in. I’ll be returning soon for an extended stay as a student , slowly learning a little bit of Japanese.Its difficult to remain motivated but I learnt that you can’t “function comfortably “ without speaking a little at least , the translator doesn’t always translate correctly 😅 I’m not sure how different Fukuoka will be from Tokyo but I do know it’s not as densely populated.Making friends,navigating,language is definitely a barrier. I’m using your content as some sort of guidance when I get back. Keep up the great work !
I've spent like a month in Japan total over my two trips there, I definitely got treated very well there (speaking Japanese absolutely helps) but always got the impression that actually living and working there would be a TOTALLY different experience. Still my goal to do it but I'm not in a massive rush, kind of my goal to get my N2 out of the way finally and then I'll just spend my time trying to find an opportunity that aligns with my interests rather than rushing into eikaiwa work or something Congrats on spending almost 1.5 years in Japan! Feels like yesterday that you were posting about finally moving
Hey Ananya, props for the honest and real talk. I can totally relate. Been living in Japan (Yokohama) for 5 years and studying Japanese for 9-10 years. I think I relate to you in every single part you mentioned, specially in that being the "less preferred" foreigner. I'm hispanic American so I'm not exactly the typical "イケメン" gaijin for Japanese people. Just an average guy with an average height and average borwn hair, brown eyes, etc. Also idolizing Japan before moving here.... big mistake. That reality check eventually hits you no matter what country you move to. So now I just shake my head when I see other foreigners idolizing Japan from afar... like seriously! Don't fall for that trap!!! lol But like you said, there are also so many beautiful and unique experiences you get to have when you live in Japan. One of my favorite ones is actually the camaraderie you kinda build with other foreigners you meet and befriend, specially the verterans! The foreigners who have lived here like 10 years+ are the ones who can really help you fit in if it's hard with Japanese people. Not saying to avoid learning Japanese or making Japanese friends, but having a circle of foreign friends, a support system you can count on is important for mental health. Anyways, big fan of your content here and hope to meet ya someday! Thanks for sharing :)
I lived in Sendai for a year during high school, then moved to Tokyo after i graduated university in the US more than 2 years ago, and how you feel about Tokyo is so accurate. It isn't just foreigners who feel it but people who grew up outside of Tokyo then moved later. Tokyo is too overstimulating and it's important to have a way to decompress
I was also born and raised in the SF Bay Area, and it's a place where everyone is accepting, and when you are raised that way you are surprised when you first experience countries where they have preferences.
Very relatable. I think the 'invisibility' you describe is real and not aimed at foreigners per-se. Many (most?) in Tokyo are here precisely for that; to hide in plain sight... not like there is usually much to hide, but it is a whole different game when invisibility is the default. It is a blessing at first, but it gets pretty lonely when you understand enough to notice it and then it becomes a question of what and how you want to make of it. (It looks like you already figured that part out :) )
Your thought process brought out some really forgotten memories from the time I lived there about 8-9 years ago. One of them being just this sort of deep realisation at times where you remember "Oh I'm alone on the other side of the world". Sometimes those thoughts made me imagine scenarios like, if I died in my apartment - how many weeks or months would it take before my family would know? Then again, having those walks during nights, feeling completely safe at all times, and seeing the weirdest or cutest things (so many Shibas) would mostly wash those thoughts away. That dynamic wasn't necessarily better or worse than being at home, but it took more energy than expected at times and it wasn't something I expected. I think if I ever move back, it will be a completely different mindset on what things to focus on. Perhaps instead of fully adapting to the society, finding how one can adapt "enough" while also finding value in how one would like to live a life there as well. Thanks for making this video, it was great to listen in to.
Really enjoyed your video! I used to have an Indian colleague who would talk to me about his daughter - how she was learning Japanese and planned to move there one day. So every time I see a young Indian woman making a video in Japan, I always wonder if it's her 🤣. As for myself, I'm a Japanese American who moved to the states at 4 years old, and I often think about finding tech job in Japan and living there for a few years... I admire your courage for doing what you've always wanted and trying to make a life for yourself in Japan! I do hope that it starts to feel like home someday. 😄
I have always admired Japanese culture, and I recently was able to finally visit Japan in April. It's such an amazing place, even the negatives outweigh living here in New York State. I want to move there, but it is very difficult to find a sponsor for a work visa. The US does not have the holiday visa option unfortunately...we're lucky if we are allowed two weeks off per year, depending on your job.
welcome back to youtube!! 🎉 i feel that people like us (grew up in the west but ethnically from asia) will never have that traditional “home” but have the ability to make it wherever we go bc there’s no one place that will fully accept us and i think that’s so awesome. like yeah japan will never accept me but that’s ok 😄
Thanks for the tips hehe So true! I think a level of acceptance is needed to really feel ok about the fact that anywhere kind of becomes our home! But thinking of it that way is really freeing!
what a video and what a journey! I've followed you since the beginnings and I'm very happy that you are in Japan now. The only thing I would say that also life happens to be a journey and maybe Japan (or Tokyo) is the first step for you, so if either of them doesn't work, there are still more adventures for you in your future!
I know exactly how you feel. I have romanticized Japan since I was a teenager and my daughter and I just came back from Japan last week. While the beauty of this country blew us away, the amount of people who showed us passive-aggressive forms of racism due to our South Asian background was astounding. On the positive side, the people who were kind were genuinely caring.
As a felow Desi who has visited Japan, I can totally emphasize with your experience. At first I tried to fit in by speaking Japanese and acting that way, but eventually I realized I was better off just being myself and owning the whole "foreigner" vibe. I also had trouble coming to terms with how I felt so invisible in Tokyo. In Canada if someone even acts out a little, people will always react, whether good or bad. In Tokyo I felt like I could start dancing or doing whatever and everyone would completely ignore me. Good and bad, but you have to accept both and move on!
@@hiananyaa I'm from west coast Canada, Vancouver. Glances when someone is doing something wrong in publically are very subtle but are definitely deadly. I have a feeling OP might be from Ontario haha.
Not my experience visiting. I was at Starbucks in Odaiba and asked them if they had a similar drink that I drank in Roppongi Hills and suddenly the entire staff was looking at me while I was using Google translate. Even many of the customers were looking at me. It was strange to get all that attention. I’m not white or black either …just Asian American.
@@inquisitvem6723Being of Asian descent, it was easy to blend in with Japan, and those watching from afar probably found it odd that they were using Google Translate.
Hello ananya, i live in Osaka this year and i recognised myself a lot in the difficulty you mentionned. I dont comment a lot on TH-cam but i just wanted to thank you for this video and your honesty
Hey Ananya, I’m on my 2nd month here. Your sharing has resonated a lot what I’ve experienced and observed in Tokyo. Due to the culture, it’s a real struggle for foreigners to make connections here. The last thing I want for myself is to adapt to the walk alone face the floor 9-5 routine. That would be so sad. I would love to get to know you someday given a chance. You’re cute.
Japanese people often say that if you live in Japan you have to follow Japanese rules, but I don't think you need to behave exactly like a Japanese person, and you don't need to get along with everyone. Just be careful to avoid trouble at the very least, and you're free to do other things. Many Japanese people also think this way, don't get too involved with others, and are not friendly at all. Tokyo in particular is a city of immigrants, and the people are individualistic, putting their dreams and pleasures first. There are also many people who have moved here because they are tired of the relationships and life in their hometowns. On the other hand, Osaka has a strong traditional culture and was originally a city of merchants, so they excel at sales and speaking skills. Each city has a different color depending on its history. There are more and more foreigners in Japan, and Japanese people are not the only people you should make friends with. If you enjoy the cheerfulness and wonderful culture of foreigners, I think Japanese people may become interested in you and approach you. Anyway, I want you to continue enjoying Japan.
People shouldn't have to change to fit into Japan. If you are a rule breaker or a jerk, don't stop just because you are in Japan. Show your true colors.
@@Mwoods2272Sorry,I'm japanese.We should obey the law, but it's not realistic to understand all of the unique rules that Japanese people have. Even Japanese people don't have a unified view on the issue. As long as you avoid trouble, it's ok.
Dude, you could follow all the rules even better then the Japanese themselves yet they will still hate your guts. It's best to not play games that you can't win.
I lived in Japan for two years. At the end of my time I felt resentful of the culture and left. My resentment came from being viewed as a speaker of English only as opposed to a person that speaks English and loves music and movies. People wanted to talk with me or be with me only because I spoke English. I felt resentful of this dynamic yet I made money from that relationship. It can can be hard to live in another country.
I lived in Tokyo for seven years and got crazy because they constantly wanted to use me a free English language machine. They would get very angry when I responded in Japanese. Even after decades of being a translator/interpreter, many Japanese will try to avoid speaking with me in Japanese. In fact, the better you get, the more painful the experiences are. Ananya is still in the honeymoon phase despite her complaining. She has NO idea how bad it really gets. She better strap in.
I really love that you gave a nice balance of good and bad. Often I hear all bad things or all good things... There are very few who give a well-rounded opinion of what it's like there--not to take away from anyone's experience (because it's different for everyone), but it nice to hear something sincere. I'm still undecided on whether or not I'll come to Japan, but I think it's still on my list. 🤗
I think once you live outside of Tokyo, your life would be more "rooted." All your necessities could be found in the small shops in walking distances, and if you are outgoing enough, sooner or later, you will be friends with the whole neighborhood!
Thanks for sharing your experiences! I want to move to Japan because I want to experience it, but I’m not sure if I’d want to live there long term like for years and years. Also when you talked about peoples lifeless looks on the subway, I experienced that in New York City as well. They looked sad and dead inside 🙃
Love the information. I know this may not be a common video topic but I think it is important. I have visited Japan a couple of times and talked to a few foreigners who live there like yourself. They also warned me of similar things you have mentioned in this video and a huge emphasis on the work culture there and the lack of work life balance. However still, I am planning to move to Japan. I just love it so much. I am going again next spring. I have been learning Japanese for a year and a half now (long way to go...) and I have just started sending my resume to job finders. Would love to hear any advice you have. がんばって!
I think it’s important to remember that, being from California, Ananya has a different impression of USA than someone from New York, as an example. This is no slight against Ananya! But for those who live in different regions, the “differences” that may shock you will likely be different
"I also fainted for the first time, I know it's not a big deal" YES. IT. IS. LOL That definitely is a huge deal😭. Feelings are feelings and its ok to feel lol
"Tokyo is like a can of tuna" I felt this haha. I grew up in California and when my friends or people talking to me say they want to visit Japan for Tokyo. I always hint that they should also visit places outside of the city.
thanks for saying that! At some point I watched so much content I was wondering why my life here wasn't as fun and happy lol The reality is really different sometimes!
I enjoy living in a foreign country exactly because people don't expect me to fit in 100%. Exsitence of some sort of a soft barrier is actually comfortable. That said, of course no one wants to live in an overtly hostile environment. So a big, cosmopolitan city like Tokyo which provides emotional distance and impeccable safety is quite fitting for some.
Just to add, it seems even japanese people say its lonely in Tokyo. Definitely its a meat grinder city. You are doing great, and you have an awesome smile and vibe. Dont let anything get you down!
Great video. So well articulated and quite insightful. Echoed the sentiments of a few other people I've seen on TH-cam actually so you're def not alone. Is there anything strictly chaining you to Tokyo? I'm visiting Wales right now and people seem generally more chilled and friendly than in London. It's kinda refreshing. Perhaps worth exploring Japan more and see if there's a regional shift in attitudes, atmosphere and ambience?
I moved to Tokyo in April of this year and I relate so much to getting caught up in the rush of everyone else in Tokyo.. I feel like I've gotten more apathetic living here
Hello! Long time IG follower who has been living in Tokyo for 9 years. It’s definitely nice to see a more vulnerable side to you than from what you post on the other platforms. It sounds like you did pretty well for your first year here. Normally the first year to two are the worst here. As you said, you’ll begin to accept some of the pain points here. Just continuously improve on your journey and stay away from the toxic foreigners who have been here too long though. A lot of the toxic foreigners I’ve run into are the folks who never learned Japanese or stagnated in life/ settled down early. I can definitely empathize with you on the being a person of color here and going through the difficulties of being judged on the surface. My gf is also Desi but half Japanese and she goes through this a lot as she doesn’t look Japanese to many people. With age, and years being in Tokyo, she’s a lot more patient and accepting of being judged on the surface. It is my hope that the next year gets a lot better for you.
It takes courage to move to another country. So don’t be too hard on yourself, but the perks of living in another country is you gain so much wisdom and grow as person. You learn unexpected wisdom that you’d never learn in your home country. But Tokyo is one the entertainment capitals of the world, so it’s competitive and there’s a lot of gatekeepers (people that withhold valuable advice). I feel to survive Tokyo, you gotta look extra extra good and be fashionable. Also, be confident and assertive. It’s ok to have an opinion, but be polite and respectful about it. But you’ll never have to ask what if?! Since you moved to Japan 🇯🇵 and definitely learn the language.
if you move to a foreign country there are many compromises you have to do for sure.. good video! So far ive only been to japan as a tourist (like 3-4 months in total) but i try to stay in 1 city for atleast a month at a time. I personally dont speak any japanese yet, but im planning on getting into a language school in the kansai region, here from my experience, even if you dont talk the same language, people are more open to try and have a conversation with you compared to tokyo. Tokyo has its upsides, but for me personally, its one of those places I'd like to visit for a weekend here and there rather than live in there.
as far as i can tell, japanese people make their communities at school and at work. Theyre so social within themselves like in their classrooms and clubs… but outside of that the average japanese person thinks theyre being polite by giving you space and not talking to you as a stranger. dont feel so bad about not fitting in perfectly. the reality is that you’ll never not be the foreigner looking person and all people who meet you would never just assume you were born in Japan. thats just reality. fitting in well is probably hard even for japanese people themselves
People who don’t understand the japanese language at or very little, trust me when I say Ananyas Japanese language skill is at a very high level and it’s just a matter of time until she makes it onto the quasi on television guest commentator celebrity status in Tokyo. But I agree Tokyo is a very high status city so it favors attractive or rich people for sure.
About the glares are stares…I’m also from India and I was worried about this since I saw your video and many others talking about this but when I went to Japan I had the opposite experience…which pleasantly surprised me…maybe cause I don’t observe others around me as much 😂 or whenever I did they seemed way more interested in whatever they were doing….perhaps if I stayed there for a few months I might see what you said but honestly I get way more dirty looks or unpleasant stares within my own country 😂😂 I’m more used to rude people within India than how polite people were in Japan. Maybe it could have been a facade but I really respect their dedication to their job to be so polite. In fact at least three times Japanese came to help when we seemed lost…all on their own…and whenever they took pictures they did the best job 😍 I had offered my seat to an elderly lady on the bus in Kyoto and she was so so sweet the way she thanked me and took it. Also my uncle and aunt had lived in Tokyo 12 years ago for two years and they had positive experiences as well. My aunt was able to make such true and deep friendships there that they send her a physical post card all the way here to India every year on new years. They are coming and staying with them for 3 days this upcoming week. Their friendship has been there for 12 years. They said they’ve never faced discrimination or anything like that during their time there and in fact felt more discrimination in their own county here 😂 They had met their Japanese friends in swimming club so perhaps you can try making friends there by joining club activities which might excite you. Also, the older I get, I feel like it’s harder to make friends in general. The cold harsh reality is that most adults are caught up in their own lives and it’s hard to make genuine connections anywhere. I’m happy enough to have 2-3 genuine but close friends. It’s amazing how you got vulnerable in this video but I just thought I’ll offer a different perspective so that you can perhaps approach the situation more positively and try your luck to make many friends and beautiful memories there. Thank you for the content and wishing you the best!😊
I feel like you encapsulated almost everything I have felt living in Japan for the past two years. As a brown-skinned person myself, it feels like nobody really acknowledges my presence until I start speaking, which sometimes feels uninviting. I still see myself living here long-term, but I still crave the sense of belonging and I feel that is always going to be a work-in-progress.
Hi Ananya. I really enjoyed your open and honest video, and agree with what you have said. I've lived in Japan for twelve years and have not learnt to speak Japanese. I'm an older guy, and I don't think my brain functions too well with regard to learning languages. My wife is Japanese and unfortunately she has to deal with most of there admin side of things. I live in Kobe which is a pretty good place to be. I struggle with the heat and high humidity each Summer!! As you said, the health care is amazing. As I'm retired I pay only 10% of the total cost of any health care intervention. Another amazing aspect here are the trains. Even local trains run on time!! I once travelled to Tokyo with the Shinkansen and we arrived so 50 seconds late - on a 530 km journey - and the driver apologised to the passengers for being late!! Unfortunately I think Japanese people are over worked, and that's not so good. I have found Japanese people to be very polite and very helpful.
Japan is so overwhelming that there is often a very long honeymoon period where Japan can do no wrong. It can be very much like living in a dream. In some ways it is a utopian society particularly if you come from a highly dysfunction country like the United States. In Japan everything does work, everything functions as it should. People treat each other with respect and your day to day existence can be quite smooth. The problems arise when you try to bring your concepts of togetherness, closeness, intimacy and connection into their iron-clad ways of perceiving and assimilating information. They can seem fun on the surface, free even, but just below that is a bedrock of rules, assumptions and attitudes that are very hard to sway. I constantly find myself saying “you know, there is another way to do this…or, sure, that’s one way to do it but other countries do this…”. No way. In Japan there is one right way to do everything. It’s been analyzed to death and determined by the authorities that THIS is the only way to (fill in the blank). And then if you have a highly developed way of doing something they have no experience with they exclaim “SUGOII!” and notice you but don’t really then know what to do with you. True individualism simply blows their circuits.
For the most part, I, as a Japanese person, can understand and relate to what you're saying. However, regarding your final comment, 'True individualism simply blows their circuits,' I don’t think that’s necessarily true. While it’s often said that Japan is a collectivist society, and that’s generally accurate, it’s not as though individual opinions are intentionally suppressed. In many cases, the issue lies in how individualism is sometimes tied to self-serving behavior under the guise of personal freedom. True individualism and freedom are always grounded in a sense of responsibility.
I'm also someone who moved out to Japan from the Bay Area! been there for a little over 2 years now and my Nihongo is shit so i can definitely say its a struggle trying to do things. If anyone reads this and plans on moving to Japan, atleast get to N3 level on the JLPT (maybe even N4). Im barely even N5 (the lowest level) and its a struggle.
Here’s a comment from a Japanese person. I was surprised that there hasn’t been much discussion about the Japanese language in the comments on this video. As you mentioned, to manage daily life, you’ll need at least N4 on the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test), and ideally N3. If you're looking for a stable job, N2 or higher is likely required. Just for reference, the JLPT ranges from N1 (the highest) to N5 (the lowest).
I've been studying Japanese off and off for the better part of almost 20 years been to Japan once Loved it use the Japanese that I have gained knowledge on and was able to get around just fine and I was excited to know that they understood me and I understood them. I still have a long way to go as in not surrounded by everyday but I still study here and they're off and on so I found this video really helpful. I think Japan should allow United States citizens to move there without a bachelor's degree for different work options or also have a working holiday visa for us as well as they do other countries. Many Americans would like to go over there but it's kind of hard unless you get a job a teaching job or marry a Japanese and super hard to find them here in the States unless you're like in Hawaii or something
I've lived in Tokyo, as well as country areas in Kyushu. Funny thing about Tokyo is that with so much people, it can really be a very lonely place. Key is to find a core group of friends/family to share all the great things the city has to offer.
Needless to say, the difficulty of feeling the sense of belonging is an inescapable reality of crossing cultural boundary, especially so when you move from one culture to another that's so very different like Japan and the U.S. (and India, for that matter). The U.S. is said to be open to foreigners but it doesn't change that fact that acculturation is very difficult for the first generation. There is a great book about about how we actually develop different emotions living in different cultures: "Between Us: How Cultures Create Emotions" by Batja Mesquita. You might find it interesting, since it cites quite a bit of research dealing with Japan and the United States. I'm in a reverse situation from yours (moving the other way), and I wish I didn't have the choice to move to the States to begin with (LOL), but what I mean is that it's not Japan itself that makes it harder for you to obtain the sense of belonging. It's something that people who move across boundaries have to find ways to deal with. It's great that you still find life in Japan worth living. Anyways, I have been amazed how you could achieve such a high level of Japanese fluency learning by yourself. It would be hard for me as a Japanese to feel that you are an outsider, as far as I'm concerned. I hope that you attain serenity and fulfillment no matter how you navigate life going forward.
Wow that’s such an interesting perspective! And makes sense, if I were to move to Europe tomorrow I would likely battle similar issues. Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment!!
This is interesting, thanks for your honesty. I’m Indo-Canadian and when I was younger in Japan, I felt like the “unwanted” foreigner. My white friends or coworkers were put on a pedestal and it made me feel bad. I got married to a Japanese guy and we left Tokyo after we had a baby. We moved to the inaka and now I don’t feel different at all. All the other moms treat me like I’m Japanese. Maybe because there’s no other foreigner mom here, I have no clue. It’s still surprising when a mom I’ve never had the chance to speak to before will come up to me and make conversation normally. I have lots of Japanese friends now, way more than I had in Tokyo. And none can speak English or are using me for English practice! I was worried about my daughter being half-brown but she’s really popular at school. None of the kids treat her different. I hope it stays that way. It took a while but now Japan really feels like home to me.
I really want to validate your experience, it's really hard to move abroad to a whole new culture especially when the country is so homogeneous. I moved to Korea 2 years ago and have virtually the same experience as you. Its really hard over here lol, but I'm glad your hanging on❤
Super interesting to hear all this. I want to visit so much but I am also the type of person that feels a little bad about going somewhere and not speaking any of the language. I also tend to not want to do the normal touristy stuff so I've wondered how much I really would enjoy it (I'm sure I would but just a reservation I have). Since I've started getting into Japanese stuff you always put up on my IG when looking at reels and always love them so thanks.
if u want to come, see anywhere u could except for the big cities, they are just like any other city in the world with nothing special. same horrible stressful cold people etc. the gem are outside the cities. the cities are just tourist traps for u to spend unnecessarily. dont live in the cities if u want to seek authentic Japanese experience.
I’m coming up on my two year anniversary of living in Japan. Comparative to living in the US, what I have learned through personal experience by interacting with the Japanese and watching other Japanese interact with each other: In the US, a person, any person can aspire to be anyone they would like, meaning social opportunity is abundant. People are open and genuinely are interested in getting-to-know the other people around them especially foreigners. People are flexible and understanding, and when understanding someone or something isn’t understood, the person of whom does not understand, will put forward the effort to try to understand in order to draw a conclusion. And if a clear conclusion cannot be determined or agreed, the person will simply agree to disagree however, it will not infringe on their ability to possess a relationship with person of whom they disagree with (of course this is concerning day to day decisions: social, economic, philosophical, race, religion, political). In Japan everything is about conformity. Every single person who is born, raised or immigrates to Japan is pressured to conform to the Japanese way of life and thinking. (one way only) As for the foreigner, no matter how hard they try to fit into Japanese society, they are shunned. It’s only through Japanese Obligation that a foreigner will find any Japanese interacting with them. Japanese are not interested in learning anything new with regard to people from other nations who have experience from other countries. They have no interest in making friends outside of the friends that they already have. New friends are considered outsiders and therefore they are ignored. Due to the tight restraints of Japanese society, a person immigrating to Japan from any western country finds not only assimilating to be damn difficult near impossible, but they also can’t be who they were or who they are, they are forced to be someone different than themselves. However even for those who have managed to conform, completely change themselves so that even their own family don’t recognize them outside of their face and the tone of their voice, still find no favor by the Japanese. Even people who have gone to the trouble to flawlessly read and write in Japanese, even these people have found no favor by the Japanese. Gone are the days when somebody gets off work and hangs out with friends of whom they have accumulated at work and other areas of their life like their neighborhood and so on. Gone are the days of weekend barbecues with friends and family. Gone are the days of being accepted as an equal by people around you just every day people, not just friends but people you don’t know just common people on the street. Gone are the days when I can trust what is being said to me by others. Gone are the days of being accepted as the person of who you are, where you come from and the color of your skin. Gone are the days when you’re in need of some help in public and you can actually find someone who has any interest to help you at all. Gone are the days spending time and doing hobbies with like-minded people. Gone are the days saying hello to people on the streets just as a nice gesture and receiving kind in return. Gone are the days when people ask you for your phone number and where you live and what your days of work are and trying to make contact with you in order to build some sort of a friendship. Gone are the days of self expression. Gone are the days of free speech. Gone are the days where people will try to engage you without you first trying to engage them. (Communication) Here are the days where everybody stares at you like you have some sort of physical deformity. Here are the days where people talk about you in front of you while thinking that you don’t understand what they’re saying about you. Here are the days even though you’re as polite as you can be, in most cases overly polite, and still receive rude remarks, rude body language or rude communication from the Japanese. Here are the days where people have to think twice about, did that person just speak to me kindly because they have interest in what I’m saying or out of obligation? Here are the days where you’re hated because you’re not Japanese. Here are the days when people yell at you on the street for no reason in Japanese. It’s my “hope”that in time my mental perception of the country and the people who live here will become more positive. But this can’t just be my responsibility. There is a responsibility that lies in the hands of the Japanese, which whom from what I have witnessed, are nonconforming and without interest of accepting others. We’ll see what the next two years bring……………………….
I love your enthusiasm for Japan! I'm a 100% Japanese blood born, raised, and still living in Hawaii.I think I'm a gosei. After all four of my grandparents past away and now knowing about the population decline there, I've decided to try to teach myself Japanese.(and Tagalog!) Growing up, my Bachun would speak and answer my Gichun, dad, and uncles in Japanese while they would speak to her in English!😂I never heard my dad speak Japanese, but he understands it.My family have a rare last name which is basically 2 names put together.I hope to pass on the name someday when I find that love of my life.😂 Ironically, I'm not into anime or manga.Instead I prefer old school Kikaida, Robotech(Macross Saga), and Samurai tv dramas and movie like Aberenbo Shogun and Yojimbo! I'm looking at some apps and as soon as I can will take your course. Just wanted to tell you to not get discouraged and continue being positive and LIVE YOUR dreams no matter how hard it gets! BTW you do have a beautiful smile!😍 Take care!
Bit late but I studied Japanese 1 year as a Vietnamese born Australian before moving for my wife and got to around 2000 kanji and never practiced speaking but working in Japanese jobs straight up (though god it was very stressful) and socialising with Japanese people will get you up to speed real quick if you have the mental fortitude to go through extreme changes. Never had the Gaijin card as someone who looks Japanese so perhaps there is the extra pressure there to actually improve or be treated like a mentally challenged person. Everyone try to work for Gaishikei after trying out a Japanese company. Benefits of living here without the work culture (as someone who has worked for Black companies).
managed to last 40 years in Japan as a foreigner with very limited Japanese language skills with no problem at all. Low stressed, relaxed, managed to adjust as needed; life is awesome; never going back to America except perhaps for short visits when I want to pay too much for everything.
I’ve lived in six different cities in Japan, and most Japanese people outside of Tokyo don’t even like Tokyo. If you’re a social person then Tokyo is the worst place to make your abode. Osaka, on the other hand, has the funnest, straightforward, and helpful people in Japan, but the city itself doesn’t have much to offer in terms of places to go. Being part of Kansai, however, you can go to other prefectures like Kyoto and Kobe quickly and affordably. Tokyo in comparison has many great places to visit within the city itself. The people here are sad, stressed, and grumpy 98% of the time. People,in Tokyo are not very sociable because they know very little about other places outside of Tokyo. If you’re extroverted then Osaka is the place for you. If you’re introverted then Tokyo would be a great place for you. Tokyo is fun if you like being alone, which is what happens when you get older and wiser.
ever live in Okinawa?
@@spawnrcandbikesUnfortunately I haven’t. Everyone in Japan loves Okinawa, but the locals have been wanting to become independent from Japan for generations…
@@thewritetable I’ve heard this so often. Tokyo has a very toxic chaos that slowly strangles the life out of you. But I look forward to visiting everywhere else!
I live around Tokyo for many years and have been to Osaka several times for fun and for work. They have completely different cultures and people. This is so accurate.
@@thewritetable 嘘つきだ
沖縄の人がアメリカからの返還を望んだ
I love how well you articulated your experience. Moving to a new country or even a different state/region in your own country always feels the same no matter where you are. I was born in India, and my parents moved to the US when I was 6. A few years later we moved back to India but to a different state. Years later, I then studied in the UK but had to move back to India. I've been living in New Zealand for the past year and a half. Let me tell you that every single one of those moves made me feel like I didn't belong, even when I went back to India!
I resonate with your feelings. A new country is not always the perfect place you imagine it to be. If your heart is content despite the hardships, then that's where you want to call home.
As an anime fanatic, I idolize Japan and would love to visit someday. Thanks for being open about your experiences and sharing ways to get around the issues!
That must’ve been so jarring moving from place to place! I hope you’re doing well~
@@hiananyaa yes! Thankfully my partner is experiencing it with me this time around :)
Thanks for sharing! As a learner I get tired of "DON'T SAY KUDASAI" click bait videos and enjoy when there's just some honest communication about feelings and expectations and such.
I lived in Tokyo for several years in the early 90s. It was a life changing experience. (Imagine living in a Tokyo with no mobile phones, Internet, Google maps, or English signage in train stations. When leading edge comms tech was pagers and faxes.) I spoke a little Japanese when I arrived. People could understand my textbook baby Japanese, but I couldn’t understand the KEIGO of shop workers when they replied to my questions, and I couldn’t understand the causal Japanese if my coworkers as they talked to each other. But, before too long, I was chatting with colleagues over beers after a day full of speaking KEIGO to our customers.
The first year was a honeymoon, powered by the thrill of being in the country I had studied for years. But after that, I began to see a dark side of Japan that nobody tells you about. I thought was prepared for the xenophobia, but although people were polite and helpful, it became clear that they could never fully accept foreigners. For example, the first question everybody asked was, “When did you arrive in Japan!” Invariably, the second question was, “When are you are you leaving?” So different than the mindset of the melting pot of America. You might find it impossible to establish a close friendship with a Japanese person.
Given time, you will become aware of the endemic government corruption, the farce of elections, and the “sho ga nai,” attitude of the citizens regarding this situation. The sexual harassment. The pervasive effect of the “deru kugi wa utareu,” mindset. The inability of any organization to make a decision or to react to emergencies if the response has not been previously scripted and approved. That’s just the beginning.
I love big cities, and Tokyo is one of the most vibrant, exciting, cleanest, and well run cities in the world. But it is also terribly isolating, even for Japanese natives.
I found the writings of the American ex-pat “Max Danger” to be illuminating. One observation borne out by my personal experience was that ex-pats go through three stages while in Japan:
1. These Japanese are so different. I will never understand them. 2. When you get past the language differences and cultural quirks, we are all people. We are all alike inside. 3. These Japanese are so different. I will never understand them.
Enjoy your adventure. But be aware that Japan can be very hostile to other Asians, regardless of their country of origin, and they can be suspicious of foreigners who speak Japanese too well.
Very well said. Props to you for giving it a go back then
I did the same as you - worked for close to 2 years in 90s!!
small world
What helped me was knowing even before I went that I would never be a Japanese.
Having traveled a bit around Japan - it's nice hear Japanese questions based on their innocence. They are just being curious and polite. (へええ、日本語、すごい上手ですねぇぇ、どうして、そんな上手なの？）。笑い － When your Japanese clearly sucks. But - dude man - this is their culture.
When you are non-judgmental - and bring positive energy to everyone - Japan is great.
There are so many obstacles Japan must get over. Our stay in Japan still had an expensive yen. But it was declining due to the R/E bubble bursting.
What I can't quite get my head around is WHY cannot Japan bring their post-WW2 successes to the present? Post WW2, they built their country up for the ashes. Why cannot they apply that mindset to today.
But - nope - instead you have office workers working insane hours, but aren't really productive. They go out to drink after work, sleep in the office at noontime, and adhere to the senpai/kohai mindset irrespective of a meritocracy. Instead, it's like a caste system based on age - which causes so many problems.
one of the worst cities.
Greg, do you know it's the US that's competely changed Japan? The country has been under US occupation for eight decades. (It was really the US that engineered the so-called Pacific War. The US framed Japan and blamed Japan for everything.) The Japanese can't do anything to change the course of their country. The government has always been controlled by ClA. The US (and the whole world) is now in the same situation and the tyranny is getting worse by the day. Imagine Americans living under foreign occupation for eight decades.
Japan isn't really hostile to other nations. Japan's politics, MSM and military are all controlled by ClA. That's why you have that wrong impression. Tension, conflicts and wars are all created on purpose by those who control the world.
Foreginers (especially non-whites) will always be considered foreigners in the US, too. I now live in Brazil. Japanese born here aren't considered Brazilian even if their grandparents were born in Brazil.
@@alexandrebenois7962Totally agree with you!
I lived in Japan for a year on a working holiday and when I initially got there, my Japanese was incredibly basic. The first 2-3 months were kinda lonely because I was living in Atami (where most people just visit for a weekend getaway)
I eventually moved to a city in Saitama and started making friends, landed a new job and everything went up from there. The people in my area were so nice. I’d regularly have people give me a “おはようございます” when I was heading for the station in the morning. I lived in a city with hardly any white guys, so I stood out like a sore thumb, but people were very friendly there!!
I’d also stop and talk to neighbours if I wasn’t in a rush to get to work. 🥺 I really miss it and I wouldn’t have moved back if my visa didn’t expire.
No country is perfect and Japan also has its issues, but I found myself in Japan and I want to get back there to see how life would be in the long term of living out there.
That's so lovely!
@@hiananyaaIt was nice! I was made to feel very welcome in that area. 😌
I miss the onsens, especially rotenburos..
日本に移り住んで来られる方たちは、みんな勇気があるなぁと、尊敬してます👍
この前の冬には精神的に辛い時期を過ごされたとのことで、心配になってしまいました。
あなたのお話の中で、日本の嫌なことを受け入れられるようになったら、本当に好きになれるとお話しされていたのには感銘を受けました。
日本人としてとても勇気付けられます😂
（I respect people who move to Japan. Everyone is very brave.
You mentioned that you had been going through a difficult emotional period last winter, which made me concerned.
I was impressed by what you said in your talk: "Once you can learn to accept the things about Japan that you don't like as much and after a while, I'm probably not going to feell as strongly as i do in the future."
As a Japanese person, I find this very encouraging.）
体調に気をつけて、がんばって👍
（Take care of yourself and do your best.）
Thank you for the kind comment!! 嬉しいです！
Either courageous or crazy
Cool perspective. I enjoy hearing people’s experiences in Japan as everyone seems to have something different.
Thank you so much for the kind comment!
Hi Ananya you r so pretty and I’m so admired of your talent to study Japanese language and speak it so fluently like a native person .
the shape of her eyes is perfect
She's cute
She is trying to tell you her experience living in Japan and all you can se is her eyes ….. i can’t blame you though she is hella cute 😍
Yay, Ananya is back!
I’m backkk!!!
Thank God! You finally said what I’ve always wanted to hear. Everyone who doesn’t live in Japan tends to romanticize it, while those who live there or have moved there often speak negatively about it. But you balanced the positives and negatives so well in your speech, and it made me think: ‘Don’t we all feel this way about the countries we live in, with that love-hate relationship?’ As someone who idealizes Japan for the same reasons you mentioned, your perspective gave me such relief. Your video also served as a warning or a reminder of the things I need to be aware of before deciding to live there and pursue my dream. It's normal to expect difficulties as a newbie foreigner, and I’m grateful for that reality check.
I think language knowledge is huge for living abroad. I moved countries twice. The first time I didn’t speak the local language and it was tough. The second time I was fluent in the local language and it was so much easier.
Yes! Language really changes the experience
What you’ve felt is essentially the same as what Japanese people from towns in rural areas experience when they move to Tokyo. Tokyo’s unique negative aspects have been talked about since the 70s and have often inspired songs. Yet, people will always aspire to go to Tokyo. That’s because Tokyo isn’t just part of Japan-it’s its own special place. In fact, TOKYO is not Japan; it’s an independent state all on its own.😆
so true
本当そうです！田舎で慣れてる私には東京には住めない
Like any big capital.
People say the exact same about London here in the UK
Good post..,...Tokyo is a bit of an anomaly....I would recommend a mid size city and really enjoy the people....
ありがとうございました。
Thank you for sharing.
I started learning the language for real about 5 months ago, after years of off and on limited learning. And now im at a point in my life where I can pop on a flight to visit. I plan to visit enough to see if I'm interested in living there. But only once im able to read more comfortably.
I want to speak well enough to have that impact you mentioned amongst those who are glad you speak the language so well.
Thank you so much for the comment and for watching!
This is so interesting. I am from Germany, and people there are very cold and serious and our winter days are quite dark and gloomy. So I am kinda used to that depressive winter atmosphere, thats why despite living in Japan for a few years now, I never noticed these aspects. But I can relate to the other things you mentioned.
A German family recently moved to my area and they brought their coldness with them. Now I feel uncomfortable in my own neighborhood. I hope they will move soon.
@@songandwind72 where do you live? to be honest, I sometimes even miss the grumpiness of germans. you never have to act like you are in a good mood. on some days here in japan the forced friendliness goes on my nerves.
@@impepenane Well it's never fun when Germans are showing their selfishness and hatred. I would call going to someone else's country and creating a hostile environment an "act of war."
I'm living in Tokyo right now for school, but I already had many friends and could speak Japanese before I decided to come here. When I'm feeling alone I just reach out to that group and its fine. I guess my case is just a very fortunate one. I also lived in big cities in USA my whole life so Tokyo is just LA in Japanese in my mind lol
I'm used to being ignored in public already but being black in Japan is still a little rare I guess so I do see stares here and there.
I also really recommend to anyone to find a nice sharehouse if they care to meet Japanese people who are interested in making close friends with foreign people, or even meeting other foreigners living in Japan. It really helped me acclimate quickly!
I agree! Great advice here
Highly relatable to everything that you said in this video, Loneliness is something that is very dark in Japan. I hope you overcome that.
Your Japanese is so incredible you inspire me a lot !! I lived in Tokyo last year as an exchange student studying Japanese, and want to return to work next year. I was diagnosed autistic as an adult, I’m very small, quiet and introverted and very good at reading the room and following what others do (due to growing up undiagnosed). For me, Tokyo has been the most comfortable place to live in my entire life ー I’ve lived in 5 countries and many cities! For someone like me, fitting in completely has never been possible, but I feel like I fit in the most in Tokyo. I love idols and I made friends at idol events, was surrounded by happiness all the time, but in London everything is so depressing and people are a lot colder and I can’t fit in here, can’t enjoy my hobbies. I’m so excited to be back in Tokyo and continue the happiness I found there last year
So excited for you! :)
I’ve recently moved to Tokyo from Australia and been here 5 almost months so far. I can relate to everything you’ve said in this video.
Every place has its pros and cons but so far the pros FAR outweigh the cons in Japan.
Learn the language, integrate, understand the culture and it’ll feel like home in no time.
Great video. I learned a couple of lessons that may relate. 1. Traveling or vacationing somewhere is VERY different than living there. I learned that years ago when I moved to Hawaii. 2. "It doesnt have to be perfect. It just has to be better than the alternative." While what you said about Tokyos negatives are true - at least you dont have to worry about being shot, stabbed, homeless, being pushed on the subway tracks, mentally ill people walking around, like you do in NYC. The last time I was in Tokyo I walked nearly 10 miles in one day without a care in the world for my safety. Good luck with that in NYC, LA or some of our major cities in the U.S.
This is the most honest, and best video I’ve seen on this topic! I watch you on TikTok also, and you’re my inspiration 🥹🩷
Yay!! Thank you so much!!!
So this was a fascinating video and I'm so happy that I randomly stumbled upon your channel! I just started my youtube channel to document my Japanese learning journey because I hope to study in Tokyo next year! I have always heard that it can be lonely in Japan, but I think I am somehow prepared for that since I have already lived in Germany which can also be lonely haha. However, I did notice that it gets WAY easier once you learn the language so I think that learning Japanese will be the most difficult part. There are pros and cons to every country but I do hope the pros outweigh the cons when it comes to Japan!! THANK YOU for the interesting video!
I live in Thailand, visit Japan a lot. I have friends in Nagoya, Tokyo, Takayama, Beppu & Osaka. Japan is the only introverted country I have ever visited. I LOVE the safety, politeness, great food, fantastic Whisky Bars & traditional culture in Japan. I am retired and have heard so many horror stories about "the Japanese Work Culture". From Japanese & Foreigners.
Osaka, however, is unlike the entire rest of the country. Everybody is young, friendly and it seems like an island of openness in a closed society.
Japan is closed to closed people and open to open people. you are just looking at you in the mirror.
he's friend with them only because he looks like them.
I sort of know Japanese. I've been going to Japan for 20 years and within the last six using Google translate has made it super easy. So I don't know why everybody's saying you need to know Japanese. You don't REALLY need to know but it does show respect in my opinion. You are coming from another country and making Japan your home and you are taking the time to learn a language. Japanese culture respects that and it does make it easier to have Japanese citizens warm up to you.
Keep in mind a LOT of stuff is already in English (road signs, subway directions, etc) A lot of places have English menus and Google translate is truly awesome. And if you have a Samsung ultra 24 it literally translates in real time so you can have full conversations with people.
The big thing i've learned in all my times there (sometimes for a few months) is that if you respect the culture, the rules and the way of life, they will in fact treat you like you belong. "fitting in" is basically you just following along. That's HUGE in the culture. 出る釘は打たれる as they say.
Also, Tokyo is NOT the place you want to live...you want to hang out and party there. You want to live outside of Tokyo. Tokyo is vegas...LOL...its great to go to and hang but to live. ...meh. its very isolated as far as a good place to feel warm. People are kind and cool to you there but its more of a outer shine...its more service oriented.
Osaka...you wanna live there if you want a city. or Sendai. or Saitama...people are very open and friendly.
100% agree! Interesting point about “fitting in” being following the culture, so true
I found Nagoya and the surrounding suburbs very nice to live in as well. Tokyo just feels like you're a small cog in a massive machine
I would live in Yokohama.
Great place to live Yokohama. Good food, lots to do and the people are really friendly. It's also a large city but it has a different vibe than Tokyo.
I love Tokyo. Love it to death, asakusa is my favorite place in Tokyo. And that's the only place I'd live if I moved to Tokyo. When I bought my Akiya in saitama I knew I was an hour and a half from Tokyo but I also knew a lot of the stuff I love about Japan was available there as well
I'll be posting videos about the purchase or the house and about the first time I step foot in it which is Dec this year. If a mega quake doesn't take it out first
@@DoinStuff4Life I prefer the vibe in Yokohama more…less fast paced and more laid back.
New subscriber here , I’ve been watching the instagram content you’ve been posting about Japan and it’s been very informative helpful for me, Thank you.
I stayed in Yokohama/tokyo for about 3.5 weeks and honestly it was a huge culture shock coming from the background I grew up in.
I’ll be returning soon for an extended stay as a student , slowly learning a little bit of Japanese.Its difficult to remain motivated but I learnt that you can’t “function comfortably “ without speaking a little at least , the translator doesn’t always translate correctly 😅
I’m not sure how different Fukuoka will be from Tokyo but I do know it’s not as densely populated.Making friends,navigating,language is definitely a barrier.
I’m using your content as some sort of guidance when I get back.
Keep up the great work !
Welcome~!!
Hope you're able to come back!
I love the honestly, Ananya!
I've spent like a month in Japan total over my two trips there, I definitely got treated very well there (speaking Japanese absolutely helps) but always got the impression that actually living and working there would be a TOTALLY different experience. Still my goal to do it but I'm not in a massive rush, kind of my goal to get my N2 out of the way finally and then I'll just spend my time trying to find an opportunity that aligns with my interests rather than rushing into eikaiwa work or something
Congrats on spending almost 1.5 years in Japan! Feels like yesterday that you were posting about finally moving
Hey Ananya, props for the honest and real talk. I can totally relate. Been living in Japan (Yokohama) for 5 years and studying Japanese for 9-10 years.
I think I relate to you in every single part you mentioned, specially in that being the "less preferred" foreigner. I'm hispanic American so I'm not exactly the typical "イケメン" gaijin for Japanese people. Just an average guy with an average height and average borwn hair, brown eyes, etc. Also idolizing Japan before moving here.... big mistake. That reality check eventually hits you no matter what country you move to. So now I just shake my head when I see other foreigners idolizing Japan from afar... like seriously! Don't fall for that trap!!! lol
But like you said, there are also so many beautiful and unique experiences you get to have when you live in Japan. One of my favorite ones is actually the camaraderie you kinda build with other foreigners you meet and befriend, specially the verterans! The foreigners who have lived here like 10 years+ are the ones who can really help you fit in if it's hard with Japanese people. Not saying to avoid learning Japanese or making Japanese friends, but having a circle of foreign friends, a support system you can count on is important for mental health.
Anyways, big fan of your content here and hope to meet ya someday! Thanks for sharing :)
Totally agree!!
東京の雰囲気について、共感します。地方出身ですが、東京は自分には合わなかったです。よく「東京は内向的な人にとって天国」と聞きますし自分も内向的ですが、気軽に話しかけられる関西の方が、自分にはラクでした。東京で道とか尋ねるのには少しだけ勇気がいります😅
興味深い話をありがとうございました。今後の活動も楽しみにしています。
すごく分かります！
I lived in Sendai for a year during high school, then moved to Tokyo after i graduated university in the US more than 2 years ago, and how you feel about Tokyo is so accurate. It isn't just foreigners who feel it but people who grew up outside of Tokyo then moved later. Tokyo is too overstimulating and it's important to have a way to decompress
YAYYY NANNERS IS BACK!! loved this video and love you!!
YESS MAAAAM
YESS MAAAM
I was also born and raised in the SF Bay Area, and it's a place where everyone is accepting, and when you are raised that way you are surprised when you first experience countries where they have preferences.
Very relatable. I think the 'invisibility' you describe is real and not aimed at foreigners per-se. Many (most?) in Tokyo are here precisely for that; to hide in plain sight... not like there is usually much to hide, but it is a whole different game when invisibility is the default. It is a blessing at first, but it gets pretty lonely when you understand enough to notice it and then it becomes a question of what and how you want to make of it. (It looks like you already figured that part out :) )
Your thought process brought out some really forgotten memories from the time I lived there about 8-9 years ago. One of them being just this sort of deep realisation at times where you remember "Oh I'm alone on the other side of the world". Sometimes those thoughts made me imagine scenarios like, if I died in my apartment - how many weeks or months would it take before my family would know?
Then again, having those walks during nights, feeling completely safe at all times, and seeing the weirdest or cutest things (so many Shibas) would mostly wash those thoughts away. That dynamic wasn't necessarily better or worse than being at home, but it took more energy than expected at times and it wasn't something I expected.
I think if I ever move back, it will be a completely different mindset on what things to focus on. Perhaps instead of fully adapting to the society, finding how one can adapt "enough" while also finding value in how one would like to live a life there as well. Thanks for making this video, it was great to listen in to.
Really enjoyed your video! I used to have an Indian colleague who would talk to me about his daughter - how she was learning Japanese and planned to move there one day. So every time I see a young Indian woman making a video in Japan, I always wonder if it's her 🤣. As for myself, I'm a Japanese American who moved to the states at 4 years old, and I often think about finding tech job in Japan and living there for a few years... I admire your courage for doing what you've always wanted and trying to make a life for yourself in Japan! I do hope that it starts to feel like home someday. 😄
I have always admired Japanese culture, and I recently was able to finally visit Japan in April.
It's such an amazing place, even the negatives outweigh living here in New York State.
I want to move there, but it is very difficult to find a sponsor for a work visa.
The US does not have the holiday visa option unfortunately...we're lucky if we are allowed two weeks off per year, depending on your job.
welcome back to youtube!! 🎉
i feel that people like us (grew up in the west but ethnically from asia) will never have that traditional “home” but have the ability to make it wherever we go bc there’s no one place that will fully accept us and i think that’s so awesome. like yeah japan will never accept me but that’s ok 😄
Thanks for the tips hehe
So true! I think a level of acceptance is needed to really feel ok about the fact that anywhere kind of becomes our home! But thinking of it that way is really freeing!
what a video and what a journey! I've followed you since the beginnings and I'm very happy that you are in Japan now. The only thing I would say that also life happens to be a journey and maybe Japan (or Tokyo) is the first step for you, so if either of them doesn't work, there are still more adventures for you in your future!
Thank you for sharing! This is my 3rd week here and I wasn’t hearing the realness of what you just shared. It makes reality a lot easier (:
I know exactly how you feel. I have romanticized Japan since I was a teenager and my daughter and I just came back from Japan last week. While the beauty of this country blew us away, the amount of people who showed us passive-aggressive forms of racism due to our South Asian background was astounding. On the positive side, the people who were kind were genuinely caring.
Well said and a wonderful attitude. Reminds me of my younger days when I spent a year in a Spanish speaking country. Good video!😊👍
As a felow Desi who has visited Japan, I can totally emphasize with your experience. At first I tried to fit in by speaking Japanese and acting that way, but eventually I realized I was better off just being myself and owning the whole "foreigner" vibe. I also had trouble coming to terms with how I felt so invisible in Tokyo. In Canada if someone even acts out a little, people will always react, whether good or bad. In Tokyo I felt like I could start dancing or doing whatever and everyone would completely ignore me. Good and bad, but you have to accept both and move on!
Wow I didn’t know that was a thing in Canada! And yes, I’m slowly learning that generally anything goes in Tokyo lol
@@hiananyaa I'm from west coast Canada, Vancouver. Glances when someone is doing something wrong in publically are very subtle but are definitely deadly. I have a feeling OP might be from Ontario haha.
Not my experience visiting. I was at Starbucks in Odaiba and asked them if they had a similar drink that I drank in Roppongi Hills and suddenly the entire staff was looking at me while I was using Google translate. Even many of the customers were looking at me. It was strange to get all that attention. I’m not white or black either …just Asian American.
There are more people in Tokyo than in a lot of entire countries. Its a test of ones situational awareness that they are in another society.
@@inquisitvem6723Being of Asian descent, it was easy to blend in with Japan, and those watching from afar probably found it odd that they were using Google Translate.
Hello ananya, i live in Osaka this year and i recognised myself a lot in the difficulty you mentionned. I dont comment a lot on TH-cam but i just wanted to thank you for this video and your honesty
Thank you for your comment!! Appreciate you so much.
I have never been to Japan before but I will travel there soon to explore. Thank you Ms. Ananya
Hey Ananya, I’m on my 2nd month here. Your sharing has resonated a lot what I’ve experienced and observed in Tokyo.
Due to the culture, it’s a real struggle for foreigners to make connections here.
The last thing I want for myself is to adapt to the walk alone face the floor 9-5 routine. That would be so sad.
I would love to get to know you someday given a chance. You’re cute.
昔、オーストラリアに１年間滞在した時、不便だけど孤独を感じなかった。日本に帰ってきたら便利だけど孤独を感じた。
どっちが良いのかな～😂
Japanese people often say that if you live in Japan you have to follow Japanese rules, but I don't think you need to behave exactly like a Japanese person, and you don't need to get along with everyone. Just be careful to avoid trouble at the very least, and you're free to do other things. Many Japanese people also think this way, don't get too involved with others, and are not friendly at all. Tokyo in particular is a city of immigrants, and the people are individualistic, putting their dreams and pleasures first. There are also many people who have moved here because they are tired of the relationships and life in their hometowns. On the other hand, Osaka has a strong traditional culture and was originally a city of merchants, so they excel at sales and speaking skills. Each city has a different color depending on its history. There are more and more foreigners in Japan, and Japanese people are not the only people you should make friends with. If you enjoy the cheerfulness and wonderful culture of foreigners, I think Japanese people may become interested in you and approach you. Anyway, I want you to continue enjoying Japan.
People shouldn't have to change to fit into Japan. If you are a rule breaker or a jerk, don't stop just because you are in Japan. Show your true colors.
@@Mwoods2272Sorry,I'm japanese.We should obey the law, but it's not realistic to understand all of the unique rules that Japanese people have. Even Japanese people don't have a unified view on the issue. As long as you avoid trouble, it's ok.
Dude, you could follow all the rules even better then the Japanese themselves yet they will still hate your guts. It's best to not play games that you can't win.
@@songandwind72 Exactly don't follow their rules, do whatever you want to do.
@@Mwoods2272 Or maybe don't even go in the first place.
I lived in Japan for two years. At the end of my time I felt resentful of the culture and left. My resentment came from being viewed as a speaker of English only as opposed to a person that speaks English and loves music and movies. People wanted to talk with me or be with me only because I spoke English. I felt resentful of this dynamic yet I made money from that relationship. It can can be hard to live in another country.
I lived in Tokyo for seven years and got crazy because they constantly wanted to use me a free English language machine. They would get very angry when I responded in Japanese. Even after decades of being a translator/interpreter, many Japanese will try to avoid speaking with me in Japanese. In fact, the better you get, the more painful the experiences are. Ananya is still in the honeymoon phase despite her complaining. She has NO idea how bad it really gets. She better strap in.
FINALLY! a positive video of LIVING in Japan. I appreciate it!
I really love that you gave a nice balance of good and bad. Often I hear all bad things or all good things... There are very few who give a well-rounded opinion of what it's like there--not to take away from anyone's experience (because it's different for everyone), but it nice to hear something sincere.
I'm still undecided on whether or not I'll come to Japan, but I think it's still on my list. 🤗
I’m so glad to hear that!! :’) I didn’t want it to be all negative because there’s a reason I’m still here after all! Hope the video was helpful!
It certainly is a great place to visit! Loved it!
Thanks for the video.
It really is!
I think once you live outside of Tokyo, your life would be more "rooted." All your necessities could be found in the small shops in walking distances, and if you are outgoing enough, sooner or later, you will be friends with the whole neighborhood!
Thanks for sharing your experiences! I want to move to Japan because I want to experience it, but I’m not sure if I’d want to live there long term like for years and years. Also when you talked about peoples lifeless looks on the subway, I experienced that in New York City as well. They looked sad and dead inside 🙃
Love the information. I know this may not be a common video topic but I think it is important. I have visited Japan a couple of times and talked to a few foreigners who live there like yourself. They also warned me of similar things you have mentioned in this video and a huge emphasis on the work culture there and the lack of work life balance. However still, I am planning to move to Japan. I just love it so much. I am going again next spring. I have been learning Japanese for a year and a half now (long way to go...) and I have just started sending my resume to job finders. Would love to hear any advice you have. がんばって!
I think it’s important to remember that, being from California, Ananya has a different impression of USA than someone from New York, as an example. This is no slight against Ananya! But for those who live in different regions, the “differences” that may shock you will likely be different
"I also fainted for the first time, I know it's not a big deal"
YES. IT. IS. LOL That definitely is a huge deal😭. Feelings are feelings and its ok to feel lol
Thank you for validating me!! :')
You always bring yourself wherever you move to:) life is what you make of it not matter where you are.
Thank you for this it was honest and informative.
"Tokyo is like a can of tuna"
I felt this haha. I grew up in California and when my friends or people talking to me say they want to visit Japan for Tokyo. I always hint that they should also visit places outside of the city.
Thanks for being so honest! I really am sick of TH-camrs acting like moving to these homogenous countries is all sunshine and rainbows. It is hard!
thanks for saying that! At some point I watched so much content I was wondering why my life here wasn't as fun and happy lol The reality is really different sometimes!
I love snow and cold I want to live in Sapporo!!
I enjoy living in a foreign country exactly because people don't expect me to fit in 100%.
Exsitence of some sort of a soft barrier is actually comfortable. That said, of course no one wants to live in an overtly hostile environment. So a big, cosmopolitan city like Tokyo which provides emotional distance and impeccable safety is quite fitting for some.
Hello, Ananya!
Thank you for sharing. Even japanese people are feeling loneliness living in japan.
Just to add, it seems even japanese people say its lonely in Tokyo. Definitely its a meat grinder city. You are doing great, and you have an awesome smile and vibe. Dont let anything get you down!
Great video. So well articulated and quite insightful. Echoed the sentiments of a few other people I've seen on TH-cam actually so you're def not alone. Is there anything strictly chaining you to Tokyo? I'm visiting Wales right now and people seem generally more chilled and friendly than in London. It's kinda refreshing. Perhaps worth exploring Japan more and see if there's a regional shift in attitudes, atmosphere and ambience?
mainly for work opportunities and people!
After almost 11 years, I feel exactly the same as you. Always an outsider, cold Tokyo the whole shebang. We should be friends
I moved to Tokyo in April of this year and I relate so much to getting caught up in the rush of everyone else in Tokyo.. I feel like I've gotten more apathetic living here
Loved this, thanks for the insight!
Hello! Long time IG follower who has been living in Tokyo for 9 years. It’s definitely nice to see a more vulnerable side to you than from what you post on the other platforms.
It sounds like you did pretty well for your first year here. Normally the first year to two are the worst here. As you said, you’ll begin to accept some of the pain points here. Just continuously improve on your journey and stay away from the toxic foreigners who have been here too long though. A lot of the toxic foreigners I’ve run into are the folks who never learned Japanese or stagnated in life/ settled down early.
I can definitely empathize with you on the being a person of color here and going through the difficulties of being judged on the surface. My gf is also Desi but half Japanese and she goes through this a lot as she doesn’t look Japanese to many people. With age, and years being in Tokyo, she’s a lot more patient and accepting of being judged on the surface.
It is my hope that the next year gets a lot better for you.
You mean toxic foreigners like you?
@@songandwind72 How do you know that lol
This was an amazing video , came exactly at the moment i was looking for insights .Thank You
I'm so glad to hear that :)
It takes courage to move to another country. So don’t be too hard on yourself, but the perks of living in another country is you gain so much wisdom and grow as person. You learn unexpected wisdom that you’d never learn in your home country. But Tokyo is one the entertainment capitals of the world, so it’s competitive and there’s a lot of gatekeepers (people that withhold valuable advice). I feel to survive Tokyo, you gotta look extra extra good and be fashionable. Also, be confident and assertive. It’s ok to have an opinion, but be polite and respectful about it. But you’ll never have to ask what if?! Since you moved to Japan 🇯🇵 and definitely learn the language.
You’re an awesome YTer, you sound cool. Thanks for all your insight!
if you move to a foreign country there are many compromises you have to do for sure..
good video! So far ive only been to japan as a tourist (like 3-4 months in total) but i try to stay in 1 city for atleast a month at a time.
I personally dont speak any japanese yet, but im planning on getting into a language school in the kansai region, here from my experience, even if you dont talk the same language, people are more open to try and have a conversation with you compared to tokyo.
Tokyo has its upsides, but for me personally, its one of those places I'd like to visit for a weekend here and there rather than live in there.
Planning on going to japan in November and the countryside appeals to me way more than the big cities
as far as i can tell, japanese people make their communities at school and at work. Theyre so social within themselves like in their classrooms and clubs… but outside of that the average japanese person thinks theyre being polite by giving you space and not talking to you as a stranger.
dont feel so bad about not fitting in perfectly. the reality is that you’ll never not be the foreigner looking person and all people who meet you would never just assume you were born in Japan. thats just reality.
fitting in well is probably hard even for japanese people themselves
People who don’t understand the japanese language at or very little, trust me when I say Ananyas Japanese language skill is at a very high level and it’s just a matter of time until she makes it onto the quasi on television guest commentator celebrity status in Tokyo. But I agree Tokyo is a very high status city so it favors attractive or rich people for sure.
Aw thanks :’) I hope so!!
Well explained, this was a great video
About the glares are stares…I’m also from India and I was worried about this since I saw your video and many others talking about this but when I went to Japan I had the opposite experience…which pleasantly surprised me…maybe cause I don’t observe others around me as much 😂 or whenever I did they seemed way more interested in whatever they were doing….perhaps if I stayed there for a few months I might see what you said but honestly I get way more dirty looks or unpleasant stares within my own country 😂😂 I’m more used to rude people within India than how polite people were in Japan. Maybe it could have been a facade but I really respect their dedication to their job to be so polite. In fact at least three times Japanese came to help when we seemed lost…all on their own…and whenever they took pictures they did the best job 😍 I had offered my seat to an elderly lady on the bus in Kyoto and she was so so sweet the way she thanked me and took it. Also my uncle and aunt had lived in Tokyo 12 years ago for two years and they had positive experiences as well. My aunt was able to make such true and deep friendships there that they send her a physical post card all the way here to India every year on new years. They are coming and staying with them for 3 days this upcoming week. Their friendship has been there for 12 years. They said they’ve never faced discrimination or anything like that during their time there and in fact felt more discrimination in their own county here 😂 They had met their Japanese friends in swimming club so perhaps you can try making friends there by joining club activities which might excite you. Also, the older I get, I feel like it’s harder to make friends in general. The cold harsh reality is that most adults are caught up in their own lives and it’s hard to make genuine connections anywhere. I’m happy enough to have 2-3 genuine but close friends. It’s amazing how you got vulnerable in this video but I just thought I’ll offer a different perspective so that you can perhaps approach the situation more positively and try your luck to make many friends and beautiful memories there. Thank you for the content and wishing you the best!😊
I feel like you encapsulated almost everything I have felt living in Japan for the past two years. As a brown-skinned person myself, it feels like nobody really acknowledges my presence until I start speaking, which sometimes feels uninviting. I still see myself living here long-term, but I still crave the sense of belonging and I feel that is always going to be a work-in-progress.
It’s validating hearing that others have experienced similar things!
I’m white but some times it’s same 😂 coz mb some people think I’m just tourist and look around
Hi Ananya. I really enjoyed your open and honest video, and agree with what you have said. I've lived in Japan for twelve years and have not learnt to speak Japanese. I'm an older guy, and I don't think my brain functions too well with regard to learning languages. My wife is Japanese and unfortunately she has to deal with most of there admin side of things. I live in Kobe which is a pretty good place to be. I struggle with the heat and high humidity each Summer!! As you said, the health care is amazing. As I'm retired I pay only 10% of the total cost of any health care intervention. Another amazing aspect here are the trains. Even local trains run on time!! I once travelled to Tokyo with the Shinkansen and we arrived so 50 seconds late - on a 530 km journey - and the driver apologised to the passengers for being late!! Unfortunately I think Japanese people are over worked, and that's not so good. I have found Japanese people to be very polite and very helpful.
Japan is so overwhelming that there is often a very long honeymoon period where Japan can do no wrong. It can be very much like living in a dream. In some ways it is a utopian society particularly if you come from a highly dysfunction country like the United States. In Japan everything does work, everything functions as it should. People treat each other with respect and your day to day existence can be quite smooth. The problems arise when you try to bring your concepts of togetherness, closeness, intimacy and connection into their iron-clad ways of perceiving and assimilating information. They can seem fun on the surface, free even, but just below that is a bedrock of rules, assumptions and attitudes that are very hard to sway. I constantly find myself saying “you know, there is another way to do this…or, sure, that’s one way to do it but other countries do this…”. No way. In Japan there is one right way to do everything. It’s been analyzed to death and determined by the authorities that THIS is the only way to (fill in the blank). And then if you have a highly developed way of doing something they have no experience with they exclaim “SUGOII!” and notice you but don’t really then know what to do with you. True individualism simply blows their circuits.
They always have a motive.
For the most part, I, as a Japanese person, can understand and relate to what you're saying. However, regarding your final comment, 'True individualism simply blows their circuits,' I don’t think that’s necessarily true. While it’s often said that Japan is a collectivist society, and that’s generally accurate, it’s not as though individual opinions are intentionally suppressed. In many cases, the issue lies in how individualism is sometimes tied to self-serving behavior under the guise of personal freedom. True individualism and freedom are always grounded in a sense of responsibility.
I'm also someone who moved out to Japan from the Bay Area! been there for a little over 2 years now and my Nihongo is shit so i can definitely say its a struggle trying to do things. If anyone reads this and plans on moving to Japan, atleast get to N3 level on the JLPT (maybe even N4). Im barely even N5 (the lowest level) and its a struggle.
Thanks for the concrete practical advice. Very helpful.
Here’s a comment from a Japanese person. I was surprised that there hasn’t been much discussion about the Japanese language in the comments on this video. As you mentioned, to manage daily life, you’ll need at least N4 on the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test), and ideally N3. If you're looking for a stable job, N2 or higher is likely required. Just for reference, the JLPT ranges from N1 (the highest) to N5 (the lowest).
I've been studying Japanese off and off for the better part of almost 20 years been to Japan once Loved it use the Japanese that I have gained knowledge on and was able to get around just fine and I was excited to know that they understood me and I understood them. I still have a long way to go as in not surrounded by everyday but I still study here and they're off and on so I found this video really helpful. I think Japan should allow United States citizens to move there without a bachelor's degree for different work options or also have a working holiday visa for us as well as they do other countries. Many Americans would like to go over there but it's kind of hard unless you get a job a teaching job or marry a Japanese and super hard to find them here in the States unless you're like in Hawaii or something
I've lived in Tokyo, as well as country areas in Kyushu. Funny thing about Tokyo is that with so much people, it can really be a very lonely place.
Key is to find a core group of friends/family to share all the great things the city has to offer.
This video was so useful. I’m looking forward to the future ones😊
yay! so glad
Needless to say, the difficulty of feeling the sense of belonging is an inescapable reality of crossing cultural boundary, especially so when you move from one culture to another that's so very different like Japan and the U.S. (and India, for that matter). The U.S. is said to be open to foreigners but it doesn't change that fact that acculturation is very difficult for the first generation. There is a great book about about how we actually develop different emotions living in different cultures: "Between Us: How Cultures Create Emotions" by Batja Mesquita. You might find it interesting, since it cites quite a bit of research dealing with Japan and the United States.
I'm in a reverse situation from yours (moving the other way), and I wish I didn't have the choice to move to the States to begin with (LOL), but what I mean is that it's not Japan itself that makes it harder for you to obtain the sense of belonging. It's something that people who move across boundaries have to find ways to deal with. It's great that you still find life in Japan worth living.
Anyways, I have been amazed how you could achieve such a high level of Japanese fluency learning by yourself. It would be hard for me as a Japanese to feel that you are an outsider, as far as I'm concerned. I hope that you attain serenity and fulfillment no matter how you navigate life going forward.
Wow that’s such an interesting perspective! And makes sense, if I were to move to Europe tomorrow I would likely battle similar issues. Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment!!
Thank you so much for this. I appreciate the honesty🙌🏻✨
This is interesting, thanks for your honesty. I’m Indo-Canadian and when I was younger in Japan, I felt like the “unwanted” foreigner. My white friends or coworkers were put on a pedestal and it made me feel bad.
I got married to a Japanese guy and we left Tokyo after we had a baby. We moved to the inaka and now I don’t feel different at all. All the other moms treat me like I’m Japanese. Maybe because there’s no other foreigner mom here, I have no clue. It’s still surprising when a mom I’ve never had the chance to speak to before will come up to me and make conversation normally.
I have lots of Japanese friends now, way more than I had in Tokyo. And none can speak English or are using me for English practice!
I was worried about my daughter being half-brown but she’s really popular at school. None of the kids treat her different. I hope it stays that way.
It took a while but now Japan really feels like home to me.
I wanna learn abroad there. From what I gather. Maybe doing social events and getting pals would make me feel at home.
I really want to validate your experience, it's really hard to move abroad to a whole new culture especially when the country is so homogeneous. I moved to Korea 2 years ago and have virtually the same experience as you. Its really hard over here lol, but I'm glad your hanging on❤
tokyo is not a city to live in but city to visit, even japanese struggle to adapt to live in tokyo
Super interesting to hear all this. I want to visit so much but I am also the type of person that feels a little bad about going somewhere and not speaking any of the language. I also tend to not want to do the normal touristy stuff so I've wondered how much I really would enjoy it (I'm sure I would but just a reservation I have). Since I've started getting into Japanese stuff you always put up on my IG when looking at reels and always love them so thanks.
if u want to come, see anywhere u could except for the big cities, they are just like any other city in the world with nothing special. same horrible stressful cold people etc.
the gem are outside the cities. the cities are just tourist traps for u to spend unnecessarily.
dont live in the cities if u want to seek authentic Japanese experience.
I’m coming up on my two year anniversary of living in Japan. Comparative to living in the US, what I have learned through personal experience by interacting with the Japanese and watching other Japanese interact with each other:
In the US, a person, any person can aspire to be anyone they would like, meaning social opportunity is abundant. People are open and genuinely are interested in getting-to-know the other people around them especially foreigners. People are flexible and understanding, and when understanding someone or something isn’t understood, the person of whom does not understand, will put forward the effort to try to understand in order to draw a conclusion. And if a clear conclusion cannot be determined or agreed, the person will simply agree to disagree however, it will not infringe on their ability to possess a relationship with person of whom they disagree with (of course this is concerning day to day decisions: social, economic, philosophical, race, religion, political).
In Japan everything is about conformity. Every single person who is born, raised or immigrates to Japan is pressured to conform to the Japanese way of life and thinking. (one way only)
As for the foreigner, no matter how hard they try to fit into Japanese society, they are shunned. It’s only through Japanese Obligation that a foreigner will find any Japanese interacting with them. Japanese are not interested in learning anything new with regard to people from other nations who have experience from other countries. They have no interest in making friends outside of the friends that they already have. New friends are considered outsiders and therefore they are ignored.
Due to the tight restraints of Japanese society, a person immigrating to Japan from any western country finds not only assimilating to be damn difficult near impossible, but they also can’t be who they were or who they are, they are forced to be someone different than themselves. However even for those who have managed to conform, completely change themselves so that even their own family don’t recognize them outside of their face and the tone of their voice, still find no favor by the Japanese. Even people who have gone to the trouble to flawlessly read and write in Japanese, even these people have found no favor by the Japanese.
Gone are the days when somebody gets off work and hangs out with friends of whom they have accumulated at work and other areas of their life like their neighborhood and so on.
Gone are the days of weekend barbecues with friends and family.
Gone are the days of being accepted as an equal by people around you just every day people, not just friends but people you don’t know just common people on the street.
Gone are the days when I can trust what is being said to me by others.
Gone are the days of being accepted as the person of who you are, where you come from and the color of your skin.
Gone are the days when you’re in need of some help in public and you can actually find someone who has any interest to help you at all.
Gone are the days spending time and doing hobbies with like-minded people.
Gone are the days saying hello to people on the streets just as a nice gesture and receiving kind in return.
Gone are the days when people ask you for your phone number and where you live and what your days of work are and trying to make contact with you in order to build some sort of a friendship.
Gone are the days of self expression.
Gone are the days of free speech.
Gone are the days where people will try to engage you without you first trying to engage them. (Communication)
Here are the days where everybody stares at you like you have some sort of physical deformity.
Here are the days where people talk about you in front of you while thinking that you don’t understand what they’re saying about you.
Here are the days even though you’re as polite as you can be, in most cases overly polite, and still receive rude remarks, rude body language or rude communication from the Japanese.
Here are the days where people have to think twice about, did that person just speak to me kindly because they have interest in what I’m saying or out of obligation?
Here are the days where you’re hated because you’re not Japanese.
Here are the days when people yell at you on the street for no reason in Japanese.
It’s my “hope”that in time my mental perception of the country and the people who live here will become more positive. But this can’t just be my responsibility. There is a responsibility that lies in the hands of the Japanese, which whom from what I have witnessed, are nonconforming and without interest of accepting others.
We’ll see what the next two years bring……………………….
Im about to live in oki for 6 months debating if its even wort learning some stuff lol
I love your enthusiasm for Japan!
I'm a 100% Japanese blood born, raised, and still living in Hawaii.I think I'm a gosei.
After all four of my grandparents past away and now knowing about the population decline there, I've decided to try to teach myself Japanese.(and Tagalog!)
Growing up, my Bachun would speak and answer my Gichun, dad, and uncles in Japanese while they would speak to her in English!😂I never heard my dad speak Japanese, but he understands it.My family have a rare last name which is basically 2 names put together.I hope to pass on the name someday when I find that love of my life.😂
Ironically, I'm not into anime or manga.Instead I prefer old school Kikaida, Robotech(Macross Saga), and Samurai tv dramas and movie like Aberenbo Shogun and Yojimbo!
I'm looking at some apps and as soon as I can will take your course.
Just wanted to tell you to not get discouraged and continue being positive and LIVE YOUR dreams no matter how hard it gets!
BTW you do have a beautiful smile!😍
Take care!
That’s super interesting!! Thank you for your comment!!
Bit late but I studied Japanese 1 year as a Vietnamese born Australian before moving for my wife and got to around 2000 kanji and never practiced speaking but working in Japanese jobs straight up (though god it was very stressful) and socialising with Japanese people will get you up to speed real quick if you have the mental fortitude to go through extreme changes.
Never had the Gaijin card as someone who looks Japanese so perhaps there is the extra pressure there to actually improve or be treated like a mentally challenged person.
Everyone try to work for Gaishikei after trying out a Japanese company. Benefits of living here without the work culture (as someone who has worked for Black companies).
the term " preferred foreigner " hit so hard because it is true
managed to last 40 years in Japan as a foreigner with very limited Japanese language skills with no problem at all. Low stressed, relaxed, managed to adjust as needed; life is awesome; never going back to America except perhaps for short visits when I want to pay too much for everything.
Do you have people who can help you when you need japanese?
@@HaploPrime Yes, Google is my best friend :) Also wife, kids, friends, relitives, and co-workers.
This is a good video for setting expectations
Thank you!!!
東京より他の都市のほうが暮らしやすいかもしれませんね。福岡とか大阪とか。京都、名古屋など
転勤族で日本各地に住みました。優先度合いによるかもしれないけど、個人的には名古屋と福岡が住みやすかったですね。