My church used to talk about how, the more you read the Bible and are exposed to the Word, the more impossible it will be to deny the existence of god because the truth will set you free…and I’m here like…I had the opposite effect haha “The truth will set you free”-how ironic…cause it really did! Deconverting was the best thing I did for my soul
My family treats me coldly because I won't come around to my religious grandparents' holidays. "Their memories are going, they just want to be loved, why can't you just put it all behind you?" It's because they forgot why I left, didn't want to hear about it back then either, and they'll insist I say the prayers when Grandpa or Dad are tired, when I don't want to anymore. They lost me to the World? No, I never had them at all because of the Church. All they had of me was some idol with my face that lived in their minds, instead of the lonely, shunned boy I was. Let them be one with the lord, that's their choice. This is mine: God's house or theirs, I found more love in the World than I ever did with them. If that's enough to seal my fate, then I accept! If that's "mysterious ways," then I'm still secure in my decision! What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel - how long should I have waited for love I was promised, but never shown? All the space between altar and door can still feel like a cage, a house you haunt seemingly unseen, praised in effigy, but looked past and through in person, even when you've been there as long as any of them. Compared to that, being truly alone, gave me a chance not to be anymore. Taking that first step took faith for me too, but things did get better. I don't care who believes me, I believe me, and when I stopped waiting and hoping and praying and finally walked away, within a decade everything got so much better. Let that baffle their minds and trouble their sleep, now: both of mine are that much more sound. Anyway, thank you Kristi, I needed to get that off my chest. Reinvention is an ongoing process, and sometimes along the way I had forgotten my story has value, when I've mostly been the only one who believed in it. It's good to remember I'm not alone. Let that be a testimony for you. Oh, and have a sub.
That’s because they are so self righteous and sanctimonious, not all but very many believers are. Therefore, they can criticise but not be criticised back.
I started sobbing when you talked about how quick people you once thought loved you turned on you. My boyfriend thought I was upset, but I told him that I'm relieved because I'm not alone. Someone else knows what I went through and experienced it. Thank you so much. This video is healing.
Aw man, I really feel your pain. And I'm sorry you've experienced it, too. We didn't deserve what we went through. You're far from alone. Give yourself plenty of love, compassion and care. And a big pat on the back for breaking free and finding your authentic path.
@@jezebelvibes As a real christian who does not go to any church and rejects the word of heretic pastors, the only thing I can say is this quote from Sera after Trigger melted a big hole thru her with the shining laser: "Whenever the Master looked at me... I detected... a sadness in his eyes... The more I obeyed the System, and tried to serve the Master, the sadder he seemed..."
This happens in every artificial family scenario. I left a job after 18 years. I keep contact only with a handful of people from there. Some of my "closest friends" completely ghosted me after I left. When an ideology is in play, is only worse. Always guard your heart, folks!
I get along with my 3 Christian siblings. We just don't talk about my atheism. When I visit, I stay home Sunday mornings when they go off to church. Facts, not faith, fear, fanaticism, fiction, or fantasy. The longer I have been away from religion the more bizarre I realize it was: hell, heaven, angels, soul, prophesy, demons, devils, walking on water, prayer, parting the sea, holy ghost, etc.
Religion and Spirituality have a Psychological Reality. Are you telling me that you throw out all of your dreams and moral intuitions because the Fanaticisms, Fictions, and Fantacies. YOu should spend a few years reading about the lives of the Saints, of all religions. No Saint of any Religion could be found to be much different from Christ. Or maybe you don't believe in any moral good. Really, I majored in Philosophy. Goodness is an Aesthetic, like Beauty. It defies definition, but we humans still have a sense for it. But you renounce Goodness because you don't have the Philosophical Capacity to stick it in categorical pigeon hole.
Thank you Kristi. I lost my wife Jan 2023 and the Church latched on to me in a vulnerable state. They did get me out of my depression. But then I started to see the truth about the church. I have had to get restraining orders against 14 people from the church. I was baptised in the southern baptist faith. I live in a small town (1426 people). I believe that I must move, as if I am being chased out of town. I'm in New Mexico.
Wow, i am so sorry for your loss and what you've been through. I can not imagine that kind of pain. I am also so sorry that the people who should have supported and cared for you made you feel so unsafe. I wish you so much peace and healing.
Can't understand why Christians have to target the vulnerable in a Christian land. They of course do it on an industrial scale in countries like India.
Back when I was a Christian, I once had a discussion with a church elder about some of the questions I was asking about the meaning of the Bible, and he warned me, "Everybody I've ever known who has kept asking questions like that has ended up an atheist!" I was shocked. Christianity, as I understood it, was supposed to be an endless search for the truth, and he'd basically just told me that searching for truth leads to atheism. And as it turned out many years later, he was right.
My guess is those letter-writers would not believe it if you told them that the decision to “dig so deep and read so much” ultimately led you to atheism.
They might believe, but that would just scare them, so they would just put their fingers in their ears and carry on pretending that reality isn't real.
YEP. When i open hearedly and unbiasedly just started following peace... I became an Agnostic thats borderline atheist. I actually prayed to God to order my steps the entire time, and looked up and was like Oh... its a scam. Full of mistreatment.
@@mjjoe76 It was my devoted study of the Bible, its history, and Church history that had a huge impact on my deconversion. The MANY, hateful, online evangelical “Christian warriors” were also a large part of it. They pretty much pushed me the rest of the way out the door with their VERY unchristlike behavior.
For the record … my digging so deep has quite the opposite effect … more convinced today than when I first accepted the gospel message as true. I’m 57 years old today, I was 15 when I first heard the gospel message in a way that caused me to stop and think deeply about the subject. I believe it’s a fair statement to say: “I’m not a Christian who is ‘on the way out’, rather, I’m a Christian who is ‘more convinced of this truth today than when I first believed’”. Like I said …. This is just for the record for those reading this thread.
I was always said to be "the sweet one" in my family. And so "compassionate". But once I started giving $ to non-Christian organizations that give a higher percentage to the poor...well that didn't count anymore. I wasn't compassionate anymore, I was lost. I take more action to live in ways that help humanity...but now I am "not Christ-like." Because I'm not spending every Sunday in church. I live my life for my child and teach her morals and empathy. But I'm not raising my daughter to be "Christ-like" because she doesn't go to children's church. You can imagine the shock I get when these things are said to me by my own family. Or people on their church staff. I was giving hundreds of dollars to a family in Africa each payday I work with special needs people...then I go to my dad's funeral and the pastor says, "Hi Amy. I have heard so much about you. Your mom has told me how you used to be so compassionate." 😐
Unbelievable narrow-minded from your family. Supporting the poor is supporting poor it doesn't matter if said organization is Christian or not. "“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.” as one famous quote go. Being Christ-like means being loving and merciful and not merely going to church on Sundays.
So true! I had the same experience. People thought I was smart & loved how I thought when I was trying to help them get closer to God. Now when I try to get them to think critically, I’m crazy, I’m going through something or I’ve “always been a little strange.”
@jezebelvibes I've been told I'm too smart for my own good. Never been a Christian, asked too many questions to get in, i guess. didn't keep me from being a deist, though. theistic ideas are hard to escape, even when you don't have a religious family. it's all around us.
@@unicornfarts8811 we're not broken & in need of fixing; more like checking the map to make sure we're headed in the right direction. And this is a great channel for that. Mindshift is also good.
Boy, I got lucky. I was one of those kids. When I finally realized I couldn't buy the story any longer, my church's attitude was more or less "you're still part of our family and you're still welcome here because we love you." I realize how rare that is and I'm so sorry you had such a rotten experience. Congratulations on continuing in you own authenticity!
Your experience should be the normal. I have had doubts but still believe. However I know some who have turned away but they were still welcome. I would hope that every Christian should have compassion and empathy. I honestly can't understand why they would not, but maybe I haven't met the Christians many others have. I do recognise some of the things you say though. I have heard people say that if you do fall away you didn't believe in the first place. The idea that someone can be a genuine Christian and then fall away, seems to be beyond many Christians. The idea is, as far as I can see, that if you are genuinely saved you are safe in Gods hands and no one can take you away from Him. He will empower you to get through anything. I have friends who have said things like this but they would still be welcome and never reject someone who has fallen away.
@@nindie2011 I didn't "fall away" from religion. I abandoned it like the toxic hot potato that it is. I kept the friends that I love but have no regrets about giving up the fairy tale. My experience was less traumatic than most but that's rare. It's heartbreaking how many "godly" people turn hateful when you express your truth. The belief itself, though was toxic and disingenuous. I love people but I don't have any use for a fairy tale or the judgemental notion that all people have to embrace the same ideology.
That's how my church is! I'm sorry not every church person is like that... Christians should love all. Kristen just has bad experiences and that's ok. Such is life
@@antonychinchilla9340fair, but many religious people act as if their religion can do no wrong when that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Anyone who thinks their group is above harm will inevitably cause the most harm
You were just as genuine in your belief then as a Christian as you are now, Kristy. Because you went along with what you thought was true based on the evidence presented to you, just as you are an Atheist now based on all the research and critical thinking you have done. I'm glad you're here to support the rest of us who are trying to deconstruct like you've done 👍
Dear Kristi (and this community), I love your channel and the breadth and depth of your thoughts in your conversations with us. Thank you. My journey has been different than yours and, I imagine, some of this community here and I wanted to share it because your channel has meant a lot to me from my perspective. My religious upbringing was casual, suburban presbyterian with my dad's side possessing a long line of believers including ministers and then, later a born-again faction. Though my immediate family was only casually religious, they did put us in Sunday school as some points while they listened to the sermons. They then continued to make us all go to church every Sunday, though, again, in our home we didn't even say grace before dinner (except big holiday dinners) or prayers or anything like that. Just once a week, obligatory church including a sermon and the occasional communion with grape juice and someone's homemade bread which we tore pieces off of! Very mild religious mandates for us. The thing is, when I was a little girl in Sunday school, they told us the story of Noah's Ark (naturally) and THEN told us it REALLY HAPPENED - a LONG TIME AGO! At first, I thought they were just trying to lend extra drama to their fairy tale (for surely this was just another fairly tale like so many I'd heard as a kid). But then, I saw they were seriously trying to tell us kids that this, admittedly super-exciting, story was TRUE: Historical, factual, actual! I became afraid. These were supposed to be trust-worthy people (aka adults). I remember thinking, " Do our parents know they are telling us this story and telling us it's REAL and we are to BELIEVE that two-by-two ALL the animals went on a boat and God gave a guy some measurements and then killed everyone on earth? I mean, that's DARK and does NOT sound real at all!" I was a child of about 5. I became, at that point, a bit afraid of "religious people" and anything that came out of the Bible. I was wary of a neighborhood girl up the road who I knew was in a pretty religious family, but I loved her and she was one of my best friends! I was always just a little afraid that she would try to tell me religious stories or ask me anything about religion (like that mysterious question "Do you accept Jesus as your savior?") or try to make me religious. She didn't. I didn't know what an atheist was or an agnostic at the time, of course, I just knew my family and the community of people around me mostly had these secret thoughts that somewhere back in time a snake really spoke, people heard god all the time testing them and telling them to do things and constantly being disappointed with people in general! I always thought, "Why can't religion just leave it at the Golden Rule and move on? Why all the stories featuring men in sandals and women in second place and all that anger and revenge and converting cultures to their religion when they already had a perfectly good one, (we had just been learning about Indigenous American Indians in school and about their culture of worshipping eagles and the land, etc... and how white people made them Christians and cowboys took everything over." (I was about 8 yo) As I got older, my older boy cousins - who I'd always looked up to and thought were SO COOL and NICE and tall - suddenly became born-again and then our relationship crumbled. It was terrible for me as a young teen having my cousin suddenly lecture me about the proper order of things (God, men, women, animals - in case you were wondering) and having him never relent on inserting his beliefs on everyone as he decided he would become the next family patriarch - at the head of every table, leading prayers, etc... and drove the less religious of us away because he became insufferable with his judgment, attempts at conversion and complete unwillingness to NOT look down in a very knowing, pitying - yet still holding out hope for your salvation - kind of way. You know: patronizing as heck! EVERYTHING became about god and the Bible and that was that. My cousins never bothered to repair any familial relationships that they burned down with their non-tolerance of non-believers. (I have to give a major nod to my cousin's wife, however, who has ALWAYS conducted herself with respect, kindness and compassion and has continually made efforts to be a loving family member without ever making anyone in our family feel judged or rejected. She is the exception. And she is exceptional!) My mom would explain Bible stories to me as metaphors for larger concepts. I GOT that! Especially in the New Testament, you can see themes of love and compassion yay! That made sense. So why, then, did they persist in the "it's all TRUE" narrative? To me it seemed like the Santa story (be good: get reward, be bad: get coal, I'm always watching and I'm a bit magical). The persistent belief by adults just never made sense. I understood the community aspect of church. I understood the pretty sound of all the people singing together (even though the words were - in my opinion - insane! Lots of soldiers and fervent love for this god who CRAVES praise and admiration, etc..) I understood the stained glass (pretty). I even memorized every single, last word of Jesus Christ, Superstar! and loved the dramatic story! But in the back of my mind was always the thought, "How are people literally still believing this stuff so literally? Why don't they just admit it's a bunch of metaphors?! Why don't they think that some of these stories in here are, frankly, hella outdated!!!! I mean: they're stoning people and turning people to pillars of salt and stuff? wtf?!" I went on to take some comparative religion classes in college and have continued my lifelong journey, as most humans do, to pursue spiritual meaning and depth of understanding and compassion of the human creature and our fascinating sociology. I have always identified as an atheist - before I even knew the word or understood the concept. I never identified as a Christian and knew that Christians had good things about them but, by and large, they REALLY think they've got the answer and that is super annoying for those of us who REALLY think they don't. When Joseph Campbell's "The Power of Myth" came out, I soaked that up and become much more comfortable in my understanding of the needs of humanity and the themes in the mythologies that human cultures have shared since human cultures began. So Kristi, what you bring to ME is a kind of permission and validation that I'm not somehow a weirdo for it never clicking for me the way it did for others. I have heard and read many stories about folks leaving behind DEEPLY HELD religious beliefs and DEEPLY CHERISHED religious community and security and I have always been moved by that kind of courage and ability to put personal clarity above cultural pressure, without sacrificing identity, truth, spirituality, morals, kindness, etc! You "truth warriors" build new, more reliable, community. You GAIN. And you GIVE! I am grateful for your channel because, as a lifelong atheist, this is how I've lived my life in a world that often feels very unwelcoming to atheists - or even other religious believers who believe in different religious things! (In God We Trust on our money? Really?) I feel like you and your community here are welcoming and loving and help me heal, too. Thank you again.
Hi friend, your comment was really interesting and even though we're very different it resonated with me. I've been raised completely non religious in France where that is the case for most people. Until rather late I was entirely sure that everyone believed the stories in the bible were metaphors meant to teach a lesson because they were so ridiculously unrealistic no one could possibly believe them. Then as a young teen I could see the wave of terrorist attacks that happened from about 2013 to 2017, and I saw that yes, there are actually extremists who believe those stories literally. But I thought, they are extremists, so they must have severe mental illnesses, maybe they never had an access to education and were very very ignorant, maybe they didn't even know how to read. They were rare extremists. For sure religious people just go to pretty buildings to talk about allegoric moral tales and everyone knows it's tales meant to give them ideas on how to please their god. My religious classmates were very intelligent and kind. At this point I still believed islam was a "religion of peace" and christianity had strong moral values. And now, religion has become a topic I study a lot over the internet, I actually know what religions teach, what the texts say, and it has finally dawned on me that yes, religious people are actually that delusional. And religions have never been a force for good in the world. Not all believers are believing following it literally thankfully. And this is why I couldn't see how twisted religion was: most people want to learn, do good, and naturally have empathy, so in spite of their absolutely bizarre and violent rulebooks, religious people most often are good people doing good things. I'm in a lucky position compared to you where devout religious people are the minority and I'm completely safe and accepted as an atheist. But I wanted to tell you, you weren't the only one who was exposed to the myths and refused to believe anyone would take them literally. It's not a new phenomenon either. I talked to my granparents about those silly religious stories as a kid. They told me something along the lines of "When it was taught to us, they didn't present them as silly stories. We used to skip religion class in secret, but you had to believe it was real or you were in trouble. Then, growing up, you start seeing things and you realise it doesn't add up..." I must have been around 8 when they told me that, I will always remember it (and I thought that this was an extreme scenario from long long ago that surely would not happen now). Your impressions and your reasoning are not silly and they are not a modern fluke unlike what some christians would like you to believe. If you need this kind of reassurance, looking into history will help! People 100, 200, maybe even thousands of years ago already had those ideas. Two of my favourite classical music composers were atheists and one of them a pagan, all of them openly, in the early 1900s. Harry Houdini was a big skeptic. Voltaire, very fun and thought provoking author from the 1700s, was a deist who did not believe in the bible. Current evangelical christians in the US want to portray themselves as the default, and others as deviants following a dumb trend like teenagers going through a phase. They want to erase the fact that non believers have always existed and lived full and rich lives. Just like they erase historical LGBT people, in a way. It's good to remember them. We can't let the zealots win in their quest to be the ultimate standard.
This video really resonated with me. I was outed as an atheist to my family against my will right before Christmas 2023. Someone somehow connected my "anonymous" Twitter account to me and sent a screen shot of my bio, which says I'm an ex-vangelical atheist, to my entire family. I had been slowly deconstructing for YEARS (also hadn't gone to church in many years) but it went into overdrive during the pandemic. I listened to SO MANY audio books and watched so many videos about the origins of the Bible, archeology, evolution, cosmology, stories of other former believers and their deconstruction journey, etc. It honestly didn't take me long after starting the pandemic journey to fully let go of any faith I had remaining. I honestly didn't feel much anxiety over letting it go. It was a relief. BUT, I wasn't ready to tell my family because I knew how they would react. I was going to tell one of my sisters, who's alway been a confidante, because I knew if anyone would understand, it would probably be her. But I wanted to tell her in person ( we live in separate states). That choice was taken from me. But my sister DID react as understanding as I thought she might, so that helped immensely as I was having a bit of a breakdown from the fallout. So far, at least I've had no family members cut me off. But I've had the "I'm praying for you because I don't want you to go to hell" letters, along with pages of devotionals. But the thing that really got me was the letter I received from my other sister. I first said the "sinner's prayer" when I was 7. I was also raised in the SBC, so there was a lot of hellfire and brimstone. I was so paranoid as a child that my being saved didn't take, I'd say the sinner's prayer practically every night. Because what if I'd said it wrong before? What if God hadn't heard me? I said that darn prayer more times than I could possibly count. After going through some really rough times in my early 20s, I rededicated myself to my faith more than ever. I read every Christian book I could find, I listened to sermons or Christian music any chance I got, I went to church religiously (hah, pun intended), I went to Bible studies, I read my Bible every day and journaled so I could determine what God was saying to me. I was seen as a leader by some of my friends, was asked advice, was asked to lead Bible studies, etc. So when my oldest sister started off her letter to me by saying, "I firmly believe you were never actually saved", that really, really hurt. Part of me knew I'd probably hear that from someone, but it still didn't change the pain of someone who supposedly loves me saying that to me. The dehumanization, the dismissiveness of that statement is a betrayal. I never responded to her long-winded letter, nor do I plan to. But I also won't forget it. Thank you for your videos and for showing people who are also deconstructing or still dealing with the ramifications of deconstructing. They're so helpful! And your empathetic, straight-forward way of addressing issues is greatly appreciated!
I'm a closeted atheist. I really try to skirt questions about religion from close family members, but if I were ever asked if I were a Christian I'd have to finally come out.
@@wfemp_4730 That's how I played it. Anytime someone would talk about "God was really looking out for me" or "God's hand was definitely on the person" or whatever, I'd just stay quiet or change the subject. I don't know if I ever would have come out to my parents on my own. I was thinking it was better to keep the peace in their waning years. It's not an easy decision, considering how badly so many Christians react. I wish you the best in your journey, though!
I am so glad to hear you speaking with such self confidence - I am 69 and started my own deconstruction of catholicism just about the time I met your work on line. I have been impressed with you for the very reasons you mention - you are so smart and SO well versed in "christianity" ! totally see that you are actually so much more dignified and compassionate and rational and logical than these people who are really working so hard not to hear anything that will challenge them. GOOD WORK! You rock and will always have my support from this distance. Thank you sooooo much for daring to do this. You have helped me and I am sure so many others in this online community feel the same. Love love love
Man, so many of your story beats match my own! I didn't receive letters, but my parents made us read the Bible daily, for 20 years. My knowledge of the Bible was encyclopedic, and many of my Christian friends were in awe that any time someone said, "isn't there a verse that says...", I was able to give them the book and chapter, context, quote it word for word, etc. I also was terrified of going to hell. I also prayed myself to sleep some nights begging God for assurance that I was saved, and yet I never felt the assurance I craved. I remember feeling envious of Christians around me that seemed so confident in their "walk" that they had no need to question; but at the same time part of me believed that getting so comfortable was the surest way to get complacent and start backsliding. Self inflicted mental trauma! X( I'm just so glad to be free! Keep being awesome!
If you know the bible that much and still that afraid of going to hell you didn't understand what it was saying. Jesus said if you trust him you'll never perish. Never means never! He promises you can know you have eternal life. 1 John 5:13. Did you ever see those verses in your fear of hell as a Christian?
@greystapp1656 Dude, you are missing the point of what the deconstructionist point out. Your faith is actually in some unknown person who wrote down some 2000 years ago that Jesus said these things. And it got put in a book by a very historically corrupt and cruel institution that called itself the universal church a few hundred years after the fact. Almost nothing that you quote from the Bible is verifiable. Have you ever actually stopped to consider that before you concede that an all powerful God would logically want to create people and then send most of them to be eternally tortured for being what He created them to be in the first place. When a person stops to think about it very long; the traditional Christian faith perspective, with all of its hypocrisy, cruelty, discrepancy and variations becomes very improbable. I was a committed Southern Baptist Christian for almost 40 years before I had the courage to stop drinking the cool ade. I attended Bible College for 3 years with a deep heart for missions. I studied, I prayed, I fasted, I tried to stay pure, I preached, I taught. I even tried to speak in tongues like my mother. I literally did everything I knew how to do to be a good Christian. I finally had to accept the fact that, no matter how hard I try, there is very little about this life and our perspective of God that can be proven. I learned that most of what I have seen and experienced was just human performances, and I felt incredibly stupid but also liberated. I realized that I don't have to live in fear and shame anymore.
@@Jesuslordoflords-y4mno it's not, you just believe it's true because you need it to stay on your path. Don't drag people against their will back into something they struggled themselves out of.
@@Jesuslordoflords-y4m The concept of hell exists no where in the Hebrew Bible, not even Isaiah and the prophets that quote the valley of destruction that later becomes a concept during second temple period. The Old Testament does not have the concept of any eternal hell, in fact even Jesus and his disciples did not preach such. Please refer to Dr. Ehrman’s book Heaven and Hell, A History of the Afterlife; Jesus’ use of Gehenna was in line with parables and reflects the Hebrew prophets use of the the term, it is only mentioned 12 times and the concept occurs allegorically. Majority of early Christians did not even believe in that eternal conscious torment idea of Hell, this took influence since it is based on fear. According to psychology fear is something that prevents us from thinking rationally and critically because we are always in flight or fight mode and want security, so we get that security from our closest community and align with what they say and do and not think for ourselves because it’s seen as dangerous. In the entire Bible, the idea of hell is inconsistent and not what people understand as today, in fact 99.9% of the Bible does not mention the concept of Hell, you can count the verses and do some thinking. There are Christians out there with a healthier approach, wish you well. Peace.
I remember as a kid saying my Heavenly Father prayer and then asking god to keep all my family members and friends safe, mentioning each one of them by name, then closing with a Hail Mary prayer. But some nights as I was falling asleep I would remember that I forgot someone, or had doubts as to if I said a certain name or not, so I would start all over in the middle of the night, otherwise I wouldn't be able to sleep. Looking back at it, I see how messed up religion is, specially to kids.
Soooooo messed up, as I kid I genuinely believed anytime I didn’t pray before bed I got nightmares as a punishment so no matter how late it was I’d pray. Even when I initially left the faith I still prayed before bed just incase. It’s wildddds
@@mattpowell6291 I wasn't catholic as a kid. I was brainwashed. I didn't choose to do all that stuff, I was told that this was something that needed to be done in order to prevent bad things from happening. But just like believing in Santa Claus, you get to an age where it doesn't make sense anymore and you realize that it's all made up. Except some people do not grow out of it, or make a conscious choice to remain ignorant to the truth and instead want to keep the fantasy going. Some people NEED that fantasy in order to live, which is sad. But as long as they don't try to infringe on the rights of others, there is no harm in doing so.
Yeah, I suppose that Kristi renouncing and cursing God has not been working out so well. Perhaps the Universe has been taking its revenge, and so Kristi has come to have a renewed Grudge against God, a fresh source of spite, skaking her fist against the Sky with renewed vigor.
OMG Kristi, fellow former SBCer here. I managed to deconstruct before the internet was a big thing, but I had a close friend who helped me through. It's amazing how fast their message will change when you stray from their path. So glad to have your voice our there!
Wow, I never thought about it this way, but, yes it is gaslighting. They act like you are a toddler who does not know what you are doing. Very interesting!
@leelee1921 Yeah, which showed me that if it was real, it would not be like this at all. To have a perfect creator but an imperfect way of presenting its perfection.
Hi Kristi, I became an Evangelical Christian when I was a freshman in College, and deconstructed when I was a junior - 47 years ago. I experienced everything you mentioned and watched two of my former brothers in Christ have an animated verbal fight - on one side I was still saved - on the other side, I never had been saved. Of course, there was no social media at the time and the concept of deconstruction did not exist. There were no support groups or counselors. I just had to follow my own heart and rebuild my life. Thank you for recording this.
I’ve said this for years - it’s a defense mechanism, because they’re terrified that it might happen to them, and then they would actually have to THINK FOR THEMSELVES.
@@KarmasAB123 I agree, they don’t hate it, but they’re terrified that they would have to do it, because all the easy answers of “because God!” would disappear like smoke in the wind. I remember being literally terrified of my deconstruction process. It was like walking out into the desert, with no clue if I’d make it out the other side, and what it would be like. My safety net was disappearing, and that was scary. But I made it 20 years ago and have been much happier ever since.
Really goes to show how people praise you for faith but reject you for leaving. It shows how beliefs are flimsy and approval from others is pointless. In the end, it’s all meaningless.
@@Redtornado6 You've misunderstood the comment. It never says everything is meaningless. It's referring to church belief and church scenarios as meaningless.
@@Redtornado6 If everything is meaningless, then saying so implies meaning, creating a paradox. It shows how complex our understanding of meaninglessness can be.
I truly admire your resolve. The hypocrisy of those letters is astounding. That these people could be so convinced at one time that you were the most amazing vessel for the lord now think you are “filthy rags” now. Maybe, instead of them saying that you were never really a Christian, perhaps they should look deeper within and ask if their own “discernment” was less than in tune with God and ask why that was. Maybe they should take a step back and reevaluate how they could have gotten it so wrong. Perhaps, if they did that, they might find themselves questioning the entirety of their religion and find themselves exactly where you are now, enlightened by the truth and free from the blindness of faith. I have always been different from the people around me and I have never strived to fit in with any group. As a black man who grew up in the hood listening to heavy metal from a dual tape deck boom box when he walked the mean streets of the South Side of Chicago, I know a little something about individuality. LMAO!!! I came up with a motto that says, “Don’t let the group you belong to define who you are. Let who you are define the group.” I’m proud of you and happy you have found your way out. To hell with those yahoos! I’m sure it hurts as you likely cherished those relationships. But I am certain you are building a new community. A community of people who love you for YOU and not for who they think you should be. Much love. And keep up the amazing work.
Nobody ever told me I might not be "saved" when I believed I was, but I was "saved" three times. The first time, I was probably 5 or 6 years old. The second time, I was in a church where they told everyone who wanted to be saved to raise their hand while everyone's eyes were closed in prayer. I didn't raise my hand, but they chose me to go with them anyway as if I had raised it. I assumed "God" had chosen to save me, went with them, and said all the things in hopes that I would be "saved." The third time, I chose to go through the whole "Jesus, please save me" thing because I never felt the transformation I was told I would feel if I was actually saved. It wasn't until I bought a Bible and started reading it that I realized it not only contradicted known reality, but also contradicted itself. I considered paganism briefly because of the problem of evil, but quickly realized there was no evidence for any deities whatsoever. When I was a Christian, I was told to testify to others about how "God" has affected my life, but the whole notion seemed ridiculous to me even then, because I never saw any supernatural influence in my life and saw no reason to attribute anything about my life to the supernatural. Now, my well-researched testimony is that there is absolutely no evidence for the existence of any deities, and anyone who believes otherwise has had an experience that they can't explain, so they choose to "explain" it according to whatever religion they were indoctrinated into.
Thanks Kristi. This clip came at the opportune moment. I was feeling lonely during my moving away from Christianity. It’s good to know there are like minded people out there.
@@christophergibson7155 That was funny, thanks. I like the false testimonies better, as they are more salacious. Of course, the false ones from apologists who claim to have been atheists are always unbelievable. Everyone knows that a true atheist would never abandon ship for a life of fiction. Deep down you know you aith resides in your heart. aith = grip on reality.
@@christophergibson7155 . . . " How would you know? . . . Divine revelation and a call from Carl Sagan. . . . Lord Jesus Christ has saved untold millions of people. . . I think you will find they are still dead. Doctors, Firefighters, and paramedics save millions. . . . professing" because they already knew God existed. . . You already know your choice of god does not exist, For it is written- Matt Dillahunty 10;33 whoever disowns Zeus before AronRa and Matt Dillahunty, will be up the creek without a paddle; PineCreek-yotube. . . . only lying to themeselves, just like you are. Matt Dillahunty 7;1 advises you to take another read of this text, even though you imagine you are perfect John W. Loftus 3:20: “Everyone who is photophobic or has basal cell cancer and squamous cell cancer hates the UV light, and will stay undercover. The FS Monster forgives you from the bottom of his wife's collander. Try reciting this valuable Pastafarian Prayer to the almighty, as it has power. “Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread, …and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns. Ramen +woman.
@@251rmartin Well that's why we don't solely rely on testimonies as authoritative. They are mere testimonies and that's it. If people's testimonies can make an impact in others then so be it, But testimonies does not surpass the authority of the truth of scripture. That's how we know what is true and false. I can tell you what I think and I've experienced but who's to say what I think and feel and is valid at all. Man needs to submit to authority like it or not, that's just how reality works. The problem with man is that we want to be in control of our lives and desire to do things in our own terms. Even authentic believers realize this and struggle with it. The question is who will you serve? will you serve yourself and become your own master or will you serve The King of Kings and The Lord Of Lords and submit to his authority.
@@251rmartin I believe all false religions will have some truth sprinkled in them with lies or falsehood. This is what makes false religions deceitful because they contain some good or truth in them. As far as what is the true and right religion. 3 test that you can use is if the religion is true, it has to satisfy 1) Historical facts about that religion and world history 2) Prophecies, how accurate and did it come true 3) Moral and Ethics. Humanity has a problem, SIN. This is why we have wars, hatred, greed, crimes, murders, loneliness, pride, anxiety and so on. Humanity needs to get to a right standing with God the Creator. All other religions try to attain this by good works. "You just need to be a 'Good Person'". To be in a right standing with God, you just have to do good things in your own strength and works. Christianity says you CANNOT appease God by your works. The Bible describes your best efforts/works as "filthy rags" Isaiah 64:6. God the Creator came down as a man Jesus Christ to rescue Humanity from it's SIN and from God's Wrath. Died a horrific death on the Cross reserved for criminals so that God's justice will be satisfied. Therefore, a right standing with God is only through Jesus' perfect worked that was done for the undeserving people like you and me. That is the Greatest form of Love to Sacrifice yourself for your enemy when they do not deserve it.
As someone else said in the comments, this video is healing - like a therapy session for religious trauma. I did not even consider the idea of an "atheist testimony" until mentioned here. People are so quick to say, "I don't know if you were ever a real Christian" when I come out as an ex-Pentecostal. It's so dehumanizing and downright gaslighting behavior. As you said, their love is so conditional upon you being in the "us" group, but if anyone becomes a "them" you get looked at as a failure. I am so glad I am working on building a community who loves and accepts me for who I am, and doing the same for them. Thank you so much for this video Kristi, and can't wait to catch up on your other recent uploads!
@@lorifiedler13yeah. But watching the believers twist their logic into Knots trying to convince themselves and others that the horrendous way god apparently acts in the bible is actually perfect love from a perfect tri-omni being is painful 😖.
If it helps, you are not alone. More and more people are realizing they can and are living moral and spiritual lives without religion and the god beliefs. Look at the stat's of church decline, especially in the U. S. And parts of UK. Pew research: Religions known for years their hold over people is waning as they are no longer buying it. Majority of Athiests in the United States were Christians themselves and evtually completed their journey out of Religion. - 1/3rd of of the US population has grown Athiest and nones - 50% of Gen Z are already non-religious - Gen Alpha will come of age, its predicted Religion will become a minority. If you want a break down on denominational decline, I recommend TH-cam channel 'Ready to harvest', which ironically is a Christian channel but brought up one by one the declining numbers on all the major Christian denominations in the U. S. And it is staggering. Brought hope and further encouragement to many leaving Religion. ... Incidentally which is why Christian "nationalism" is on the rise in the United States because it is desperate to try and stay relevant by forcing Christianity on everyone.... But it will fail. Genuine people once they're out of the Religious indoctrination, they don't come back.
I, too, have had bad experiences within the Baptist faith, the so-called Christians within the church. I mean, when you go to church, the devil will go to church too. The Bible warns us of false teachers and leaders, and it is our responsibility to know the difference as there is only one voice of the Shepherd but many other voices in the world but we are to follow the one voice of the Good Shepherd
@@vadouis-rt3of Well, the bad behaviour is often indicative that they don't live by the teachings, they don't really believe what they claim to, and are unable to demonstrate that they have a relationship with an imaginary invisible immortal magician. There's just nothing there.
Thanks for being such an eloquent voice for the people who leave the faith because reason compels them. Your story reflect mine, and it is good that you are telling it.
Kristi, thank you for creating a safe space for those of us that have walked away from the faith we were once so dedicated to. You’re doing a wonderful thing here with your channel.
If I believed that sin was real and if I wanted to sin I'd become a christian....seeing as it's literally an ideology that is built around avoiding accountability for immoral behavior
@Lilysage - A serial killer and rapist and non-believer can literally repent hours before being executed, and he will be in heaven, according to Christians. A man who lives a loving, loyal, and moral life who supports his family, friends and helps the needy, but does not think there is enough evidence for any God, will go to hell according to Christians. I have also yet to meet a Christian who sells all that they have and just follow Christ - they always do mental gymnastics for that verse. Countries that are secular, like Japan, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and Finland (to name a few) have the lowest crime rates and have very low poverty rates. Christian countries LOVE to "sin" 😂
@@LilySage-mf7uf It has *become* that way 1,000%. Back in centuries past, it was the opposite. A person was morally *expected* to do good. Now, with the decay of society and Christianity itself, it is taught as though it is an insurance policy.
I don't think so, the European wars of religion, the inquisitions, the crusades, the spreading of the faith via the sword in the new world. Europe burnt witches for three centuries.
Just a note of thanks for your "testimony." I am 77 years old and left fundamentalist christianity when in my early 20s. There were of course no TH-cam videos that could have let me know I wasn't alone in my thinking and in the emotional struggle of becoming a non-believer. I, too, was dedicated and all in on my desire to live a life for Christ. I even worked for a summer during college as a radio announcer for WMBI, the flagship radio station of the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. And another summer as a replacement radio missionary in Alaska while the regular missionaries left to visit churches in the lower 48 states to raise money for the rest of their year. I lived the life of daily bible study and prayer. So, thanks for your clarity, your sincerity, and maybe especially the kindness that comes through in your speaking.
You are so SO brave. I have no idea if I have commented my own story on your videos before, but my parents came to find out I was transgender before ever knowing that I'm now atheist. None of my parents not siblings know I don't believe in God and after the last decade of my family having a hard time even coming to tolerate my transition, I just don't think I can tell them that I'm no longer Christian. It's devastating just from that alone as my feelings and identity have been invalidated so many times I had to move out and be far from them. I'm happy that I'm able to be myself though there's no acceptance, only mild tolerance. So just from that being a hard thing, I can't imagine what it'd be like to tell them I don't believe God is even real. It's terrifying. But ive experienced a lot of religious trauma due to my identity and at one point was taken to the pastors house to basically be lectured and told I totally don't want to be trans at all and I'm truly yearning to be cisgender! I think that was the most traumatizing thing I've experienced outside of the arguments and labels I've been called by my own mom. Even though all that happened, I still can't bare to hate them :( it's so hard. You're so inspiring Kristie. I'm glad I can at least feel so much more comfortable listening to your videos and seeing other exchristians. Thank you for speaking your truth.
Think of all the psychotics who are ready to kill because God told them. What loving God would tell anyone to do that? If I was Abraham, Id have said, “I’m sorry (thats my Canadian showing), but you can’t be God if you are asking me to do that. You sound more like Satan.”
This is one of the major stories that I called out when my step dad was trying to force Christianity on me as a teenager. I broke him with the logic and he stopped asking me to go. I started with, Satan can trick people into doing things against God right? Yes. He deceives and you shouldn't listen to him. How do I know what he is trying to trick me with? He will ask you to do evil deeds. So when God told Abraham to kill Issac... Shouldn't his response have been, no Satan I will not let you trick me into killing my son. My god would never ask me to commit such an evil deed. So... Any instructions we "receive" from God could actually be from Satan tricking us into doing what he wants, OR God is a dick. The god commanded Abraham to murder his child, and that is something his god would ask of him, so he just did it? (Still me talking to my step dad). If I had a dog, and I had not listened to you a few times when you asked me to do something, would you tell me to kill the dog to show you that I trusted you? If I did kill the dog, would you feel ok that I would just do it, because you asking me to kill the dog would be a normal request? He kind of had no answer. I think he was flabbergasted that a 15 year old kid had thought about this WAY more than he had and with this level of understanding. He stopped asking me to go to church, but that was the day I stopped holding back what I thought of things, and he would always say "I was too smart for my own good". Which I took as a compliment. I wasn't dumb enough to be a Christian, cause they didn't get to me early enough.
Christy, I want to thank you for this video. It has helped me tremendously and has encouraged me and given me comfort. I had kids early in life and I became atheist later in life after my children were grown. During my de-conversion, I experienced entire nights of fasting and prayer seeking god’s guidance. I suffered abuse from my ex-husband who was a “respected” church deacon. After years of seeking and reasoning, I concluded that there were no gods and religions are man made. It was hard to tell my family, but the most painful reaction has been from one of my adult daughters who told me we will never be able to be close because I am no longer part of the faithful. It’s hard from others in the family, but from my own child it has been particularly difficult and painful for me. My other daughter is more tolerant and not as harsh on me, but still remains somewhat distant. Thank you for sharing your story and making me feel better that at least, I’m not alone.
That was very “Christian “of your daughter if I can use that term.I guess love only works if you share the same beliefs. So much for brotherly or in this case daughterly love.
1:28 Reminds me of that lovely prayer that we tell little kids at night, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." Not only scary to the child to think that he or she might not be saved, but also that their soul could be taken away!
Ha! I actually mentioned that prayer in recording but cut it out to save time 😅 that was the prayer i used to say before i slept every night. I re wrote it recently. Maybe you'll like my remix: Now i lay me Down to sleep My soul is mine Alone to keep If i shall die Before i wake I hope the stars will Hold my fate 💗
"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my toys to break. So none of the other kids can play with them."
I heard an old song by The Electric Amish that said "I was once in love with a Jehovah witness. It really improved on my physical fitness! But life was such a bore, knocking door to door..." something like that.
I think this is such a great point! As a Christian *everyone* cared about your testimony, but as soon as my beliefs started changing it was not only taboo, but I was outright told the topic was off the table for discussion. They don’t care about testimony, they care about their own confirmation bias.
PeterLarsenJr - To be fair though if someone believed in Hod but then claims they deconstructed because they don’t believe and realize they never really did, then by their own admission they were not really a Christian.
It is possible to be enlightened in your understanding of God and then walk away from the truth and go back into sin bondage as God restores our free will to us and lets us choose to serve him or not after salvation. One can trample under their foot the blood of Jesus that gave them the freedom to choose whom they will serve. But to those who do, there remaineth no more sacrifice for their sins
Christian testimonies are always so sensational. "I was a Satanist WITCH until I discovered Jesus and recanted." It reminds me of those National Enquirer headlines.
It’s sad that religion has done such a number on us that those us who break away are seen so negatively and our testimony is no longer respected or believed. I feel like there’s many in my life that would have nothing to do with me if I really was honest about the person that I am now concerning religion.
Those of us who grew up in this fundamental Christian environment are traumatized. Period. Thankfully some of us have broken free from it. I really do feel sorry for the many people who are still trapped in it.
ME TOO. My best friend in the world is still in... She cut me off and ended our friendship because I left. 😓😓😓 I hate christianity for doing this to us... 💔
Keep hope. The day will come when they’re free too. Who knows, maybe now that we’re free we can seek the, out and help free them from these mental chains.
Thank you Kristi. I wish I could show this video to my husband because he is the type of Christian you are talking about. He has been very resistant to hearing my deconversion story and accepting me for who I am now. He needs to hear this to maybe open his eyes to the pain he's caused me, but I know he won't because he is afraid like you said. He's afraid that if a strong Christian like me can walk away, maybe it could happen to him, and he needs the comfort of believing it to be true to help him through his days. But he's pushed me away in the process and even tried to blame himself for my deconversion (spiritual leader complex) and then blame me for not letting him in when I was going through all this so he could "help" me. He's called me brain washed, likened me to a q-anon conspiracy theorist, and told me that it just must have been so easy to walk away when it has been anything but easy. It's so hard. I love channels like yours to feel like I'm not alone. ❤
I wish I could hug you through the screen! That sounds terrible, and I'm so sorry your partner invalidates you like that. You deserve to be heard, loved and accepted for where you are. I really hope your husband comes around. And if he doesn't, I hope you find your most free and authentic path. You deserve it.
Ouch ! You're being gaslit by him. I wish you the best , and hope you can work through the challenges facing your path with your husband. Though I would never fault someone who splits for a reason such as such different foundational beliefs.
@headams6... wishing you all the best for your future and good luck with your journey. All deconstruction takes is intellectual honesty and a willingness to follow the truth wherever it leads... and despite what theists say if you come from a strongly Christian culture it's never easy and often painful but truth is worth following.
Don't try to drag him down with you. What if you're wrong in the end? I am certain that Christianity is true but I can understand why anyone would disagree. You should watch debates between atheist and Christian apologists and perhaps do your own research.
Thank you, Kristi. You are so charitable with Christians compared to how they treat you. For instance, the point of cognitive dissonance is almost granting them an excuse. I rather expect theres a lack of critical thinking and pretending things they want to believe (wishful thinking) in it's place. Everyone gets cognitive dissonance, at least if they're trying to be honest with themselves. Rational minded people will learn to live with ambivalence and uncertainty. The religious mind is a different creature to me. It all comes back to doxastic voluntarism (the idea that one can CHOOSE what they believe). That in itself betrays all rational thinking. Faith is anathema to reason, and cognitive dissonance is tantamount to making yourself MAKE BELIVE. If theres nothing you can't just pretend to believe then there's nothing to check reality against. How is it that Christians of all people; who espouse freewill as a tool taken for granted, to choose a belief in Christian doctrine; how could they ever experience cognitive dissonance?
You were a bright ornament on their Christmas tree, a role you outgrew. Had you stayed, you would have been stunted for life. It is "digging deeper" that leads an intelligent person out of the captivity of religion. Life is a process of discovery. It is a real pleasure to hear what you are discovering along the pathway of honesty.
Most importantly you disobey God- Matthew 22:37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’
Same here.. lol i immediately put the brakes on and say… Hummm let’s see what This one is about. lol… Definitely Appreciate What all you do on the Channel Kristi.! The Logic and Rational Thinking and Simply Breaking things down.! Definitely Someone that Digs Deep.! And By hearing those letters you always have been. I am the same way.. there are those that are okay with being told this is how things work.. And there are those of us who want to know the “Who, What, When, Where, Why” of things… Thanks Again for All that you do and Share.! 👊😎
Thanks for your comments. I know what pushed me out of Christianity was and is unique to me. My life experiences are unique to me and so are my reactions.
Your video really spoke to me. This same day three years ago was the last time I believed in a god. Ever since I’ve been happier and authentic to myself. However, it’s still hard for me to go on without the approval and respect of so many people I care about. I know I don’t need it, but it was a big part of me growing up as one of the church’s most beloved people for their faith and knowledge. I hope this video gets to more people that need to hear your story. Keep it up! ❤
I've been there... I sooo relate to everything you are talking about. I appreciate and am touched by the letters of encouragement but ultimately, this is all about emotional manipulation isn't it. I had the hardest time being ok with not believing for a long time. I admire and appreciate the lives some of my former friends who are still believers have and I can appreciate how faith played a role in that success. I think we're near a point of faith dying or becoming irrelevant in society and politics and I'm excited for the day when right is right and wrong is wrong solely for objectively moral grounds alone.
I really like your new videos (in the last 10 days or so). I hate how condescending and patronizing some Theists are towards myself and others that are Agnostic/Atheist. When you leave a church, people just all of sudden drop you it seems. They don't talk to you any more, they don't associate and all that. I know that I have found SO many good resources for my de-conversion (started in 2020, but I have been Atheistic for about 2 years now) on TH-cam and this channel has definitely been a part of it! Welcome back and thank you for putting out regular videos as of late :)
9:15 This part I felt like crying because it is so true. I left the faith at 17, there were times before I went back and forth about my beliefs but now I’m ex-Baptist. Recently, I deeply regret telling my mom I’m deist (even lgbtq sometimes). I thought I could trust her. Sometimes she would taunt me, mumble underneath her breath, or pretend she didn’t know what she said until I pointed out the obvious- then she’ll cry, literally… :/ As weird as this sounds, I still deeply care for my mom. I’ve been watching your videos for awhile. I love how you drive into the issues and problems with Christianity as a whole! Also thank you Kristi for giving me the encouragement the comment on here!💖
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s interesting to me to hear people of different religions who leave and experience the same sort of things. I was raised Mormon and left a few years back in my mid 20s. My own parents went from viewing me as a great young man, to being incredibly disappointed in me. Luckily now that I’m older I’m not affected by their disappointment, I just do what I believe I should. It’s so ironic that the people who thought so highly of me are now disappointed even though I’ve actually become a better person after leaving their religion
"They don't love you, they love the construct of you that they created." This hit hard. I'm dealing with it right now with my grandma. She keeps saying stuff like, "One day you'll be back." It upsets me because nobody ever actually cares about even trying to know what I've gone through. They just assume the exact things mentioned in the video.
Kristi, I admire that you are an ambitious, bold, determined young lady. You amaze me. I learn from you. You have my admiration:) You give validation to how I feel. Thank you for this channel.
I used to hang out at the christian bookstore in my shirts with upsidedown crosses and pentagrams getting all the high scores on the christian Guitar Hero untill they got rid of it lol
To have started my deconstruction journey last year after finding your videos during my crisis of faith and now prepping to come out to family as a proud apostate atheist, it’s so cool to watch your videos as they come out. Welcome back! 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾
Sephirothed I will never be able to understand why the Atheist choose to be angry in life. Billions of people have a HOPE of a happy life after death and a wonderful and Beautiful place to live for all Eternity. But Atheist which is about the smallest number of people that we can count, HOPE that all those billions of people are wrong. Sounds to me something that I would want to believe in.
@@robertrlkatz6890 I can’t speak for other atheists, but I’m not hoping Christianity is wrong. I just don’t believe it’s real anymore. If people derive hope from it more power to them. I hope they get joy out of it. I haven’t chosen to be angry. I’m not sure why you assume atheists are angry.
@@Sephirothed0116 Yes, Atheist are an angry people give them a little time to talk and it does not take long that what they say is misguided or misplaced. They will start saying very hateful things about God and then they turn right around and say we don't hate God because we don't believe in Him.
@@robertrlkatz6890you won’t be able to understand because you straight up don’t even know our beliefs and why we have our beliefs. I’m an atheist, if I was truly angry at god and believed he was real I would still be a theist, just a non-worshiping one. I’m an atheist because I simply do not find the evidence convincing for theism and find passive atheism to be a better stance to hold. I used to be Christian, I WANTED to stay Christian (because who doesn’t want the safety net of eternal life after death?), but I cannot fool myself into believing something I don’t. I don’t just pick and choose what I believe, every person is forced to believe what they find convincing. If not, I would just choose the religion that would cause the greatest amount of pleasure for all creatures (which would most certainly not be Christianity). I can even use your logic right back at you: I will never under why the Christian chooses to be angry in life. There are those that believe every single person and animal after death will eventually reach eternal happiness. But billions of these Christians hope these people are wrong and that roughly 90% of the entirety of humanity will burn eternal in executing agony. And just because your numbers are bigger doesn’t mean anything, that would be an appeal to popularity fallacy.
@@_Sloppyham If you are not a Christian now then you were never a Christian. You would have been a Christian in name only. If you knew more of your Bible you would know this. You never had the assurance that you were saved and on your way to Heaven, if so then you would not say what you believe now. Don't get angry at me for telling you this because God is the one who has said this. Just like you mentioned Eternal Life. When God is using these words He means Eternal which does not mean for a little while it means forever.
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Thank you, Kristi - your clarity, authenticity and wisdom is definitely inspiring!
We had a similar culture when I was in a Hindu-adjacent yoga cult. We had our "finding Krishna" stories that were encouraged and always true, but the people who left were not to be trusted, were liars, were "envious of God," and so on and so forth. Nothing a person who left had to say about the organization was worth listening to, according to the cult.
Miss Kristi, thank you so much. Your videos help me feel seen. Thank you for choosing to gift this corner of the internet your relatable stories, and your thoughts. ✨
I feel so seen. Ever since I’ve left Christianity I’ve become a better person and I felt more like myself than ever. But most importantly I’ve felt the most peace internally and externally. However hate and disregard was quick from the people who were supposed to be my friends and Christians.
I'm on my journey of deconstructing from Christianity.. it's a very hard journey.. I've done plenty of research on Christianity and the origins. And from the facts I seen Christianity is a fairytale the difficult part for me is the fear of I'm making the wrong decision but the. I think that fear is the same fear that most Christians are Christians it's out of fear.
I want to thank you for tackling this topic. I don't believe I've heard anyone talk about this as the sole focus. I personally didn't have to deal with this. I was on the other side where members seemed to really care as long as my family and I were there and serving in the church. Then after we left we received phone calls (no visits or extra effort) for a few weeks and that was the end of that. I've never "fit" into any church I've been a part of so walking away from organized religion wasn't as hard for me from that standpoint, but it still deeply hurt because I was never uplifted or cared for. There are no bigger gangs and cliques to me than in the church.
It's so messed up to tell a 5 year old that they were born inherently wicked and deserve to go to hell. Faith is child abuse. P.S. They did the same to me.
That shouldn't happen at 5. Children are closer to God than adults. They don't need to know about hell until they are a lot older and not to frighten them but to explain that there is consequences for sin and living how you want.
Thanks you! I am a 71 year old man and BOTH of my parents were ministers. I was taught that the only thing worse than a sinner was a back-slider. But from a very early age I was so troubled by what I would later found was called hypocrisy. It was all around me in the church and yet totally ignored or excused. It is impossible to live that way unless you are willing to swim in that same pool of self-delusion. I have since found far more "Christian" behavior among none believers than I EVER found inside the walls of most churches today.
I think that’s because atheists are nice/decent because that’s who they really are, whereas Christians are nice because they want the reward of heaven or are scared of hell.
I just came from an NA meeting in the basement of a church. The pastor of the church sits in the weekly NA meeting. It was his turn to speak he said, "there is more truth here than in the pews on Sunday morning, so keep doing what your doing". I most definitely concur. Christian Morality is weak at best and has no place in our multicultural society.
@@Just_a_Servant Dear friend: Thanks so much. I am also in the twelve step program. It took four times through treatment. In November, if I don't slip, I will be celebrating 36 years of recovery. You keep doing what you're doing and NEVER forget who and what you are.
@Just_a_Servant Because there is nothing Divine going on here. It's all manmade. Manmade problems, manmade everything. We can't evolve till we take responsibility of our actions. Religions are the worst at accountability of their own actions. Blame Demons and Devils. Jesus fing Christ, when we grow the f... up?
Kristi, you have a beautiful light in you - you glow❤ It's funny because fundamentalists will say that only people that believe in God and in Christ as their savior have this light. The light inside of us is something that belongs to us and is not confined within a religious belief. The light comes from inside because we are kind loving and beautiful to each other And do the best we can to appreciate every day, although sometimes it's not easy.😊
I hear you say some of the very same things my wife went through and is still going through with her friends and family. About 15 years ago we went to the creation museum and my dear wife PTSD kicked in. I think that trip helped her, in her deconstruction journey. Keep doing what you are doing YOU are helping others!
ex Jehovah's Witness here, my dad was a good guy and didn't expect us to become full time ministers or anything but he made sure we knew the grisly parts of the Bible, and would spank the hell out of us, though he hated doing it, but he would say "the Bible says I have to and one day I will have to answer to Jehovah for what kind of parent I was." Our family worship consisted of studying a book from 1969 that was purely doctrinal in nature, no practical help. I quit when I was 25 and unlike 99.9% of JW parents mine never shunned me and dad would listen to my doubts and research that I had done. Mom is almost 80 now and we have the best relationship we have ever had. Of course everyone I knew from the various congregations shunned me but a few friends quit around the same time I did so I wasn't all on my own. Seems like 18 lifetimes ago now but I still keep up with the JW thing because of mom. I get why people love Jesus and are proud to be Christian but none of it makes any sense to me.
I'm trans, I grew up Christian, I prayed sooo many times "Cure me or kill me, or make me a girl" it was hell, I tried, so hard, I fasted, I prayed, I was in the church band and I gave all my childhood to the church, but as soon as they discovered I self harmed and I wanted to kill myself they shamed me in front of everyone, the youth pastor show my arms to everyone and made me feel so ashamed. It took me years and 3 suicide attempts to finally let go and accept that I was trans and to give myself a chance to be who I really was, it was painful and I lost so many people but I'm happier than ever now.
I'm so sorry for the pain you've had to endure. You deserve to live your most free and authentic life. I hope you continue to find happiness and peace. You deserve it
I've watched several of your videos since one of them first appeared in my recommendations list a few days ago, and having gone through this process myself several years ago, I gotta say... You are a rock star! I hope you can keep doing what you're doing, because if you enjoy doing it, I have no doubt that you are a positive influence in the lives of more people than you'll ever know.
All Christians say us ex Christians will burn in hell judging us doing the exact opposite to what the bible you are always interesting love your channel
ianalan4367 - I’m sure many do. To be fair though, if someone states they deconstructed because they realized it wasn’t true and that they didn’t really believe then by their own admittance they never were really a Christian. That would be similar to someone saying I am no longer an atheist because I have always believed there is a God. They never were an atheist.
@ianalan4367 this makes no sense. People can sincerely believe and then change their mind over time. That's just life. Your bullshit statement that they were never Christians is just copium on your part.
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"You dig so deep and read so much; don't ever stop!
.
Wait...no....not like *THAT*!"
lol, exactly!
HAHA I was thinking the same.
Yep. Same experience.
My church used to talk about how, the more you read the Bible and are exposed to the Word, the more impossible it will be to deny the existence of god because the truth will set you free…and I’m here like…I had the opposite effect haha
“The truth will set you free”-how ironic…cause it really did! Deconverting was the best thing I did for my soul
That comment reminds me of that family guy clip haha no not like that.
“They never really loved you for who you are. They loved a construct of you…that represents everything they believe and stand for.” 💥
This is so true!
Exactly!
It's an extremely superficial and conditional 'love'.
My family treats me coldly because I won't come around to my religious grandparents' holidays. "Their memories are going, they just want to be loved, why can't you just put it all behind you?" It's because they forgot why I left, didn't want to hear about it back then either, and they'll insist I say the prayers when Grandpa or Dad are tired, when I don't want to anymore. They lost me to the World? No, I never had them at all because of the Church. All they had of me was some idol with my face that lived in their minds, instead of the lonely, shunned boy I was.
Let them be one with the lord, that's their choice. This is mine: God's house or theirs, I found more love in the World than I ever did with them. If that's enough to seal my fate, then I accept! If that's "mysterious ways," then I'm still secure in my decision! What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel - how long should I have waited for love I was promised, but never shown? All the space between altar and door can still feel like a cage, a house you haunt seemingly unseen, praised in effigy, but looked past and through in person, even when you've been there as long as any of them. Compared to that, being truly alone, gave me a chance not to be anymore. Taking that first step took faith for me too, but things did get better. I don't care who believes me, I believe me, and when I stopped waiting and hoping and praying and finally walked away, within a decade everything got so much better. Let that baffle their minds and trouble their sleep, now: both of mine are that much more sound.
Anyway, thank you Kristi, I needed to get that off my chest. Reinvention is an ongoing process, and sometimes along the way I had forgotten my story has value, when I've mostly been the only one who believed in it. It's good to remember I'm not alone. Let that be a testimony for you. Oh, and have a sub.
@@CurtisRooney That was poetic!
My experience when I was in Christian cultrue was they were sooooo quick to be offended, but had no problem offending others
so real omg
Yep! And they absolutely hated it when people would question even the littlest things. But they would constantly question the outside world.
My own experience in this 'neighbourhood' is you're still not allowed to offend Christians, or . . . . poof.
That’s because they are so self righteous and sanctimonious, not all but very many believers are. Therefore, they can criticise but not be criticised back.
That's because lying, vindictiveness, immoral and unethical behavior, is only a problem with them when anyone they disagree with is doing it.
I started sobbing when you talked about how quick people you once thought loved you turned on you. My boyfriend thought I was upset, but I told him that I'm relieved because I'm not alone. Someone else knows what I went through and experienced it. Thank you so much. This video is healing.
Aw man, I really feel your pain. And I'm sorry you've experienced it, too. We didn't deserve what we went through. You're far from alone. Give yourself plenty of love, compassion and care. And a big pat on the back for breaking free and finding your authentic path.
@@jezebelvibes As a real christian who does not go to any church and rejects the word of heretic pastors, the only thing I can say is this quote from Sera after Trigger melted a big hole thru her with the shining laser:
"Whenever the Master looked at me... I detected... a sadness in his eyes... The more I obeyed the System, and tried to serve the Master, the sadder he seemed..."
❤ I am sorry that you went through some really tough times but it sounds like things are better and that is a beautiful thing.
This happens in every artificial family scenario. I left a job after 18 years. I keep contact only with a handful of people from there. Some of my "closest friends" completely ghosted me after I left.
When an ideology is in play, is only worse.
Always guard your heart, folks!
@@iso-didact789 What is that quote from?
I get along with my 3 Christian siblings. We just don't talk about my atheism. When I visit, I stay home Sunday mornings when they go off to church. Facts, not faith, fear, fanaticism, fiction, or fantasy. The longer I have been away from religion the more bizarre I realize it was: hell, heaven, angels, soul, prophesy, demons, devils, walking on water, prayer, parting the sea, holy ghost, etc.
Religion and Spirituality have a Psychological Reality. Are you telling me that you throw out all of your dreams and moral intuitions because the Fanaticisms, Fictions, and Fantacies. YOu should spend a few years reading about the lives of the Saints, of all religions. No Saint of any Religion could be found to be much different from Christ. Or maybe you don't believe in any moral good. Really, I majored in Philosophy. Goodness is an Aesthetic, like Beauty. It defies definition, but we humans still have a sense for it. But you renounce Goodness because you don't have the Philosophical Capacity to stick it in categorical pigeon hole.
That sounds just like my story.
@@Jesuslordoflords-y4m As I said no more faith, fear, fanaticism, fiction, or fantasy for me.
@@Jesuslordoflords-y4myour brainwashed
@@Jesuslordoflords-y4m Dammit stop.
Thank you Kristi. I lost my wife Jan 2023 and the Church latched on to me in a vulnerable state. They did get me out of my depression. But then I started to see the truth about the church. I have had to get restraining orders against 14 people from the church. I was baptised in the southern baptist faith. I live in a small town (1426 people). I believe that I must move, as if I am being chased out of town. I'm in New Mexico.
Wow, i am so sorry for your loss and what you've been through. I can not imagine that kind of pain. I am also so sorry that the people who should have supported and cared for you made you feel so unsafe. I wish you so much peace and healing.
So sorry to hear that.
Stay safe and I hope you find a more supportive, saner, accepting and decent community to live in.
Can't understand why Christians have to target the vulnerable in a Christian land. They of course do it on an industrial scale in countries like India.
As a devout Christ follower I'm so sad you're being treated that way. They aren't being a true representation of Christ. 😢
In your opinion, but in their opinion you probably aren't@@garystapp1656
Back when I was a Christian, I once had a discussion with a church elder about some of the questions I was asking about the meaning of the Bible, and he warned me, "Everybody I've ever known who has kept asking questions like that has ended up an atheist!" I was shocked. Christianity, as I understood it, was supposed to be an endless search for the truth, and he'd basically just told me that searching for truth leads to atheism. And as it turned out many years later, he was right.
@@vadouis-rt3of So the story claims. When real people start asking questions about the story, though, the real-world results can be different.
@@vadouis-rt3of No, the Bible is the most immoral tome ever written. Full of lies and false claims.
@@vadouis-rt3of You come off as totally brainwashed and incapable of independent thought.
@@vadouis-rt3of I agree that there is nothing wrong with asking questions, and heartily encourage the practice.
@@vadouis-rt3of I wasn't, for a long time. It took me literally decades to deconvert (and in fact I was trying to head the other way).
My guess is those letter-writers would not believe it if you told them that the decision to “dig so deep and read so much” ultimately led you to atheism.
They might believe, but that would just scare them, so they would just put their fingers in their ears and carry on pretending that reality isn't real.
heh yup
YEP. When i open hearedly and unbiasedly just started following peace... I became an Agnostic thats borderline atheist. I actually prayed to God to order my steps the entire time, and looked up and was like Oh... its a scam. Full of mistreatment.
@@mjjoe76 It was my devoted study of the Bible, its history, and Church history that had a huge impact on my deconversion. The MANY, hateful, online evangelical “Christian warriors” were also a large part of it.
They pretty much pushed me the rest of the way out the door with their VERY unchristlike behavior.
For the record … my digging so deep has quite the opposite effect … more convinced today than when I first accepted the gospel message as true. I’m 57 years old today, I was 15 when I first heard the gospel message in a way that caused me to stop and think deeply about the subject. I believe it’s a fair statement to say: “I’m not a Christian who is ‘on the way out’, rather, I’m a Christian who is ‘more convinced of this truth today than when I first believed’”. Like I said …. This is just for the record for those reading this thread.
I was always said to be "the sweet one" in my family. And so "compassionate". But once I started giving $ to non-Christian organizations that give a higher percentage to the poor...well that didn't count anymore. I wasn't compassionate anymore, I was lost.
I take more action to live in ways that help humanity...but now I am "not Christ-like." Because I'm not spending every Sunday in church.
I live my life for my child and teach her morals and empathy. But I'm not raising my daughter to be "Christ-like" because she doesn't go to children's church. You can imagine the shock I get when these things are said to me by my own family. Or people on their church staff.
I was giving hundreds of dollars to a family in Africa each payday I work with special needs people...then I go to my dad's funeral and the pastor says, "Hi Amy. I have heard so much about you. Your mom has told me how you used to be so compassionate."
😐
You're more Christ Like than the ppl being critical of you. They are just religious. You understand the relationship of God.
Unbelievable narrow-minded from your family. Supporting the poor is supporting poor it doesn't matter if said organization is Christian or not.
"“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.” as one famous quote go.
Being Christ-like means being loving and merciful and not merely going to church on Sundays.
Church people aren't going to heaven if they don't treat you kindly
Apparently the church never likes to read Mathew chapter 6. Jesus said " do your alms ( charity) in secret so nobody knows".
So true! I had the same experience. People thought I was smart & loved how I thought when I was trying to help them get closer to God. Now when I try to get them to think critically, I’m crazy, I’m going through something or I’ve “always been a little strange.”
I've always been "a little strange", too 😄 I wear that badge with pride!
@jezebelvibes I've been told I'm too smart for my own good. Never been a Christian, asked too many questions to get in, i guess. didn't keep me from being a deist, though. theistic ideas are hard to escape, even when you don't have a religious family. it's all around us.
They shouldn't say that. Christians can be very odd in the US
Ive always been told im broken and in need of fixing cause im in the process of deconstruction
@@unicornfarts8811 we're not broken & in need of fixing; more like checking the map to make sure we're headed in the right direction. And this is a great channel for that. Mindshift is also good.
Boy, I got lucky. I was one of those kids. When I finally realized I couldn't buy the story any longer, my church's attitude was more or less "you're still part of our family and you're still welcome here because we love you." I realize how rare that is and I'm so sorry you had such a rotten experience. Congratulations on continuing in you own authenticity!
Your experience should be the normal. I have had doubts but still believe. However I know some who have turned away but they were still welcome. I would hope that every Christian should have compassion and empathy. I honestly can't understand why they would not, but maybe I haven't met the Christians many others have. I do recognise some of the things you say though. I have heard people say that if you do fall away you didn't believe in the first place. The idea that someone can be a genuine Christian and then fall away, seems to be beyond many Christians. The idea is, as far as I can see, that if you are genuinely saved you are safe in Gods hands and no one can take you away from Him. He will empower you to get through anything. I have friends who have said things like this but they would still be welcome and never reject someone who has fallen away.
@@nindie2011 I didn't "fall away" from religion. I abandoned it like the toxic hot potato that it is. I kept the friends that I love but have no regrets about giving up the fairy tale. My experience was less traumatic than most but that's rare. It's heartbreaking how many "godly" people turn hateful when you express your truth.
The belief itself, though was toxic and disingenuous. I love people but I don't have any use for a fairy tale or the judgemental notion that all people have to embrace the same ideology.
That's how my church is! I'm sorry not every church person is like that... Christians should love all. Kristen just has bad experiences and that's ok. Such is life
Religious Trauma….it has destroyed millions of lives.
La religión ha salvado a millones de personas.
@@antonychinchilla9340fair, but many religious people act as if their religion can do no wrong when that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Anyone who thinks their group is above harm will inevitably cause the most harm
@@antonychinchilla9340it HAS not.
And Jesus opposes it
@@antonychinchilla9340 Say that to the Middle Eastern Countries where they fight because of religion 🤭
You were just as genuine in your belief then as a Christian as you are now, Kristy. Because you went along with what you thought was true based on the evidence presented to you, just as you are an Atheist now based on all the research and critical thinking you have done. I'm glad you're here to support the rest of us who are trying to deconstruct like you've done 👍
Dear Kristi (and this community), I love your channel and the breadth and depth of your thoughts in your conversations with us. Thank you. My journey has been different than yours and, I imagine, some of this community here and I wanted to share it because your channel has meant a lot to me from my perspective.
My religious upbringing was casual, suburban presbyterian with my dad's side possessing a long line of believers including ministers and then, later a born-again faction. Though my immediate family was only casually religious, they did put us in Sunday school as some points while they listened to the sermons. They then continued to make us all go to church every Sunday, though, again, in our home we didn't even say grace before dinner (except big holiday dinners) or prayers or anything like that. Just once a week, obligatory church including a sermon and the occasional communion with grape juice and someone's homemade bread which we tore pieces off of! Very mild religious mandates for us. The thing is, when I was a little girl in Sunday school, they told us the story of Noah's Ark (naturally) and THEN told us it REALLY HAPPENED - a LONG TIME AGO! At first, I thought they were just trying to lend extra drama to their fairy tale (for surely this was just another fairly tale like so many I'd heard as a kid). But then, I saw they were seriously trying to tell us kids that this, admittedly super-exciting, story was TRUE: Historical, factual, actual! I became afraid. These were supposed to be trust-worthy people (aka adults). I remember thinking, " Do our parents know they are telling us this story and telling us it's REAL and we are to BELIEVE that two-by-two ALL the animals went on a boat and God gave a guy some measurements and then killed everyone on earth? I mean, that's DARK and does NOT sound real at all!" I was a child of about 5. I became, at that point, a bit afraid of "religious people" and anything that came out of the Bible. I was wary of a neighborhood girl up the road who I knew was in a pretty religious family, but I loved her and she was one of my best friends! I was always just a little afraid that she would try to tell me religious stories or ask me anything about religion (like that mysterious question "Do you accept Jesus as your savior?") or try to make me religious. She didn't.
I didn't know what an atheist was or an agnostic at the time, of course, I just knew my family and the community of people around me mostly had these secret thoughts that somewhere back in time a snake really spoke, people heard god all the time testing them and telling them to do things and constantly being disappointed with people in general! I always thought, "Why can't religion just leave it at the Golden Rule and move on? Why all the stories featuring men in sandals and women in second place and all that anger and revenge and converting cultures to their religion when they already had a perfectly good one, (we had just been learning about Indigenous American Indians in school and about their culture of worshipping eagles and the land, etc... and how white people made them Christians and cowboys took everything over." (I was about 8 yo)
As I got older, my older boy cousins - who I'd always looked up to and thought were SO COOL and NICE and tall - suddenly became born-again and then our relationship crumbled. It was terrible for me as a young teen having my cousin suddenly lecture me about the proper order of things (God, men, women, animals - in case you were wondering) and having him never relent on inserting his beliefs on everyone as he decided he would become the next family patriarch - at the head of every table, leading prayers, etc... and drove the less religious of us away because he became insufferable with his judgment, attempts at conversion and complete unwillingness to NOT look down in a very knowing, pitying - yet still holding out hope for your salvation - kind of way. You know: patronizing as heck! EVERYTHING became about god and the Bible and that was that. My cousins never bothered to repair any familial relationships that they burned down with their non-tolerance of non-believers. (I have to give a major nod to my cousin's wife, however, who has ALWAYS conducted herself with respect, kindness and compassion and has continually made efforts to be a loving family member without ever making anyone in our family feel judged or rejected. She is the exception. And she is exceptional!)
My mom would explain Bible stories to me as metaphors for larger concepts. I GOT that! Especially in the New Testament, you can see themes of love and compassion yay! That made sense. So why, then, did they persist in the "it's all TRUE" narrative? To me it seemed like the Santa story (be good: get reward, be bad: get coal, I'm always watching and I'm a bit magical). The persistent belief by adults just never made sense. I understood the community aspect of church. I understood the pretty sound of all the people singing together (even though the words were - in my opinion - insane! Lots of soldiers and fervent love for this god who CRAVES praise and admiration, etc..) I understood the stained glass (pretty). I even memorized every single, last word of Jesus Christ, Superstar! and loved the dramatic story! But in the back of my mind was always the thought, "How are people literally still believing this stuff so literally? Why don't they just admit it's a bunch of metaphors?! Why don't they think that some of these stories in here are, frankly, hella outdated!!!! I mean: they're stoning people and turning people to pillars of salt and stuff? wtf?!" I went on to take some comparative religion classes in college and have continued my lifelong journey, as most humans do, to pursue spiritual meaning and depth of understanding and compassion of the human creature and our fascinating sociology. I have always identified as an atheist - before I even knew the word or understood the concept. I never identified as a Christian and knew that Christians had good things about them but, by and large, they REALLY think they've got the answer and that is super annoying for those of us who REALLY think they don't. When Joseph Campbell's "The Power of Myth" came out, I soaked that up and become much more comfortable in my understanding of the needs of humanity and the themes in the mythologies that human cultures have shared since human cultures began.
So Kristi, what you bring to ME is a kind of permission and validation that I'm not somehow a weirdo for it never clicking for me the way it did for others. I have heard and read many stories about folks leaving behind DEEPLY HELD religious beliefs and DEEPLY CHERISHED religious community and security and I have always been moved by that kind of courage and ability to put personal clarity above cultural pressure, without sacrificing identity, truth, spirituality, morals, kindness, etc! You "truth warriors" build new, more reliable, community. You GAIN. And you GIVE! I am grateful for your channel because, as a lifelong atheist, this is how I've lived my life in a world that often feels very unwelcoming to atheists - or even other religious believers who believe in different religious things! (In God We Trust on our money? Really?) I feel like you and your community here are welcoming and loving and help me heal, too. Thank you again.
Hi friend, your comment was really interesting and even though we're very different it resonated with me. I've been raised completely non religious in France where that is the case for most people. Until rather late I was entirely sure that everyone believed the stories in the bible were metaphors meant to teach a lesson because they were so ridiculously unrealistic no one could possibly believe them.
Then as a young teen I could see the wave of terrorist attacks that happened from about 2013 to 2017, and I saw that yes, there are actually extremists who believe those stories literally. But I thought, they are extremists, so they must have severe mental illnesses, maybe they never had an access to education and were very very ignorant, maybe they didn't even know how to read. They were rare extremists. For sure religious people just go to pretty buildings to talk about allegoric moral tales and everyone knows it's tales meant to give them ideas on how to please their god. My religious classmates were very intelligent and kind. At this point I still believed islam was a "religion of peace" and christianity had strong moral values.
And now, religion has become a topic I study a lot over the internet, I actually know what religions teach, what the texts say, and it has finally dawned on me that yes, religious people are actually that delusional. And religions have never been a force for good in the world. Not all believers are believing following it literally thankfully. And this is why I couldn't see how twisted religion was: most people want to learn, do good, and naturally have empathy, so in spite of their absolutely bizarre and violent rulebooks, religious people most often are good people doing good things.
I'm in a lucky position compared to you where devout religious people are the minority and I'm completely safe and accepted as an atheist. But I wanted to tell you, you weren't the only one who was exposed to the myths and refused to believe anyone would take them literally. It's not a new phenomenon either. I talked to my granparents about those silly religious stories as a kid. They told me something along the lines of "When it was taught to us, they didn't present them as silly stories. We used to skip religion class in secret, but you had to believe it was real or you were in trouble. Then, growing up, you start seeing things and you realise it doesn't add up..." I must have been around 8 when they told me that, I will always remember it (and I thought that this was an extreme scenario from long long ago that surely would not happen now).
Your impressions and your reasoning are not silly and they are not a modern fluke unlike what some christians would like you to believe. If you need this kind of reassurance, looking into history will help! People 100, 200, maybe even thousands of years ago already had those ideas. Two of my favourite classical music composers were atheists and one of them a pagan, all of them openly, in the early 1900s. Harry Houdini was a big skeptic. Voltaire, very fun and thought provoking author from the 1700s, was a deist who did not believe in the bible.
Current evangelical christians in the US want to portray themselves as the default, and others as deviants following a dumb trend like teenagers going through a phase. They want to erase the fact that non believers have always existed and lived full and rich lives. Just like they erase historical LGBT people, in a way. It's good to remember them. We can't let the zealots win in their quest to be the ultimate standard.
This video really resonated with me. I was outed as an atheist to my family against my will right before Christmas 2023. Someone somehow connected my "anonymous" Twitter account to me and sent a screen shot of my bio, which says I'm an ex-vangelical atheist, to my entire family. I had been slowly deconstructing for YEARS (also hadn't gone to church in many years) but it went into overdrive during the pandemic. I listened to SO MANY audio books and watched so many videos about the origins of the Bible, archeology, evolution, cosmology, stories of other former believers and their deconstruction journey, etc. It honestly didn't take me long after starting the pandemic journey to fully let go of any faith I had remaining. I honestly didn't feel much anxiety over letting it go. It was a relief. BUT, I wasn't ready to tell my family because I knew how they would react. I was going to tell one of my sisters, who's alway been a confidante, because I knew if anyone would understand, it would probably be her. But I wanted to tell her in person ( we live in separate states). That choice was taken from me. But my sister DID react as understanding as I thought she might, so that helped immensely as I was having a bit of a breakdown from the fallout.
So far, at least I've had no family members cut me off. But I've had the "I'm praying for you because I don't want you to go to hell" letters, along with pages of devotionals. But the thing that really got me was the letter I received from my other sister. I first said the "sinner's prayer" when I was 7. I was also raised in the SBC, so there was a lot of hellfire and brimstone. I was so paranoid as a child that my being saved didn't take, I'd say the sinner's prayer practically every night. Because what if I'd said it wrong before? What if God hadn't heard me? I said that darn prayer more times than I could possibly count. After going through some really rough times in my early 20s, I rededicated myself to my faith more than ever. I read every Christian book I could find, I listened to sermons or Christian music any chance I got, I went to church religiously (hah, pun intended), I went to Bible studies, I read my Bible every day and journaled so I could determine what God was saying to me. I was seen as a leader by some of my friends, was asked advice, was asked to lead Bible studies, etc. So when my oldest sister started off her letter to me by saying, "I firmly believe you were never actually saved", that really, really hurt. Part of me knew I'd probably hear that from someone, but it still didn't change the pain of someone who supposedly loves me saying that to me. The dehumanization, the dismissiveness of that statement is a betrayal. I never responded to her long-winded letter, nor do I plan to. But I also won't forget it.
Thank you for your videos and for showing people who are also deconstructing or still dealing with the ramifications of deconstructing. They're so helpful! And your empathetic, straight-forward way of addressing issues is greatly appreciated!
I'm a closeted atheist. I really try to skirt questions about religion from close family members, but if I were ever asked if I were a Christian I'd have to finally come out.
@@wfemp_4730 That's how I played it. Anytime someone would talk about "God was really looking out for me" or "God's hand was definitely on the person" or whatever, I'd just stay quiet or change the subject. I don't know if I ever would have come out to my parents on my own. I was thinking it was better to keep the peace in their waning years. It's not an easy decision, considering how badly so many Christians react. I wish you the best in your journey, though!
Atheism and Theism are the same , all the forms of atheism are just like the 4000 religions all we do is disagree with each other why we exist .
If you turn your back on God, He will turn his back on you. It is to be expected.
@@PaulaButero That sounds scary. What does that specifically mean?
I am so glad to hear you speaking with such self confidence - I am 69 and started my own deconstruction of catholicism just about the time I met your work on line. I have been impressed with you for the very reasons you mention - you are so smart and SO well versed in "christianity" ! totally see that you are actually so much more dignified and compassionate and rational and logical than these people who are really working so hard not to hear anything that will challenge them. GOOD WORK! You rock and will always have my support from this distance. Thank you sooooo much for daring to do this. You have helped me and I am sure so many others in this online community feel the same. Love love love
Thank you so so much! This was very kind
Man, so many of your story beats match my own! I didn't receive letters, but my parents made us read the Bible daily, for 20 years. My knowledge of the Bible was encyclopedic, and many of my Christian friends were in awe that any time someone said, "isn't there a verse that says...", I was able to give them the book and chapter, context, quote it word for word, etc.
I also was terrified of going to hell. I also prayed myself to sleep some nights begging God for assurance that I was saved, and yet I never felt the assurance I craved. I remember feeling envious of Christians around me that seemed so confident in their "walk" that they had no need to question; but at the same time part of me believed that getting so comfortable was the surest way to get complacent and start backsliding. Self inflicted mental trauma! X(
I'm just so glad to be free! Keep being awesome!
If you know the bible that much and still that afraid of going to hell you didn't understand what it was saying. Jesus said if you trust him you'll never perish. Never means never! He promises you can know you have eternal life. 1 John 5:13.
Did you ever see those verses in your fear of hell as a Christian?
@greystapp1656 Dude, you are missing the point of what the deconstructionist point out. Your faith is actually in some unknown person who wrote down some 2000 years ago that Jesus said these things. And it got put in a book by a very historically corrupt and cruel institution that called itself the universal church a few hundred years after the fact. Almost nothing that you quote from the Bible is verifiable. Have you ever actually stopped to consider that before you concede that an all powerful God would logically want to create people and then send most of them to be eternally tortured for being what He created them to be in the first place. When a person stops to think about it very long; the traditional Christian faith perspective, with all of its hypocrisy, cruelty, discrepancy and variations becomes very improbable. I was a committed Southern Baptist Christian for almost 40 years before I had the courage to stop drinking the cool ade. I attended Bible College for 3 years with a deep heart for missions. I studied, I prayed, I fasted, I tried to stay pure, I preached, I taught. I even tried to speak in tongues like my mother. I literally did everything I knew how to do to be a good Christian. I finally had to accept the fact that, no matter how hard I try, there is very little about this life and our perspective of God that can be proven. I learned that most of what I have seen and experienced was just human performances, and I felt incredibly stupid but also liberated. I realized that I don't have to live in fear and shame anymore.
@garystapp1656 most atheists lie and say this to deceive people.
@@Jesuslordoflords-y4mno it's not, you just believe it's true because you need it to stay on your path.
Don't drag people against their will back into something they struggled themselves out of.
@@Jesuslordoflords-y4m The concept of hell exists no where in the Hebrew Bible, not even Isaiah and the prophets that quote the valley of destruction that later becomes a concept during second temple period. The Old Testament does not have the concept of any eternal hell, in fact even Jesus and his disciples did not preach such. Please refer to Dr. Ehrman’s book Heaven and Hell, A History of the Afterlife; Jesus’ use of Gehenna was in line with parables and reflects the Hebrew prophets use of the the term, it is only mentioned 12 times and the concept occurs allegorically. Majority of early Christians did not even believe in that eternal conscious torment idea of Hell, this took influence since it is based on fear. According to psychology fear is something that prevents us from thinking rationally and critically because we are always in flight or fight mode and want security, so we get that security from our closest community and align with what they say and do and not think for ourselves because it’s seen as dangerous. In the entire Bible, the idea of hell is inconsistent and not what people understand as today, in fact 99.9% of the Bible does not mention the concept of Hell, you can count the verses and do some thinking. There are Christians out there with a healthier approach, wish you well. Peace.
I remember as a kid saying my Heavenly Father prayer and then asking god to keep all my family members and friends safe, mentioning each one of them by name, then closing with a Hail Mary prayer. But some nights as I was falling asleep I would remember that I forgot someone, or had doubts as to if I said a certain name or not, so I would start all over in the middle of the night, otherwise I wouldn't be able to sleep. Looking back at it, I see how messed up religion is, specially to kids.
Soooooo messed up, as I kid I genuinely believed anytime I didn’t pray before bed I got nightmares as a punishment so no matter how late it was I’d pray. Even when I initially left the faith I still prayed before bed just incase. It’s wildddds
Sounds like OCD, kinda
Omg I did the exact same thing…I’m glad I’m not the only one 😭
You were Catholic to. Children are close to God but as they grow, they become independent and want to do their own thing.
@@mattpowell6291 I wasn't catholic as a kid. I was brainwashed. I didn't choose to do all that stuff, I was told that this was something that needed to be done in order to prevent bad things from happening. But just like believing in Santa Claus, you get to an age where it doesn't make sense anymore and you realize that it's all made up. Except some people do not grow out of it, or make a conscious choice to remain ignorant to the truth and instead want to keep the fantasy going. Some people NEED that fantasy in order to live, which is sad. But as long as they don't try to infringe on the rights of others, there is no harm in doing so.
Kristi comes back after 6 months just to drop a barrage of amazing videos
🤣 Apparently, I still have a lot to say!
@@jezebelvibes and we're loving it!! 🎉🎉🎉
Yeah, I suppose that Kristi renouncing and cursing God has not been working out so well. Perhaps the Universe has been taking its revenge, and so Kristi has come to have a renewed Grudge against God, a fresh source of spite, skaking her fist against the Sky with renewed vigor.
the 2nd coming of Kristi has been worth the wait
@@leovolont 🤣🤣🤣🤣
OMG Kristi, fellow former SBCer here. I managed to deconstruct before the internet was a big thing, but I had a close friend who helped me through. It's amazing how fast their message will change when you stray from their path. So glad to have your voice our there!
💗💗💗
The gaslighted way they treat us, shows how dark their light truly is.
Wow, I never thought about it this way, but, yes it is gaslighting. They act like you are a toddler who does not know what you are doing. Very interesting!
So true... true colors.
Exactly
@leelee1921 Yeah, which showed me that if it was real, it would not be like this at all. To have a perfect creator but an imperfect way of presenting its perfection.
There is no hate like x'tian love.
Dang @jezebelvibes ! You built up some material during that 8-month break and have a lot to say now - and I AM HERE FOR IT!
Hi Kristi,
I became an Evangelical Christian when I was a freshman in College, and deconstructed when I was a junior - 47 years ago.
I experienced everything you mentioned and watched two of my former brothers in Christ have an animated verbal fight - on one side I was still saved - on the other side, I never had been saved.
Of course, there was no social media at the time and the concept of deconstruction did not exist. There were no support groups or counselors. I just had to follow my own heart and rebuild my life.
Thank you for recording this.
"You were once incredibly devoted, and if YOU can walk away from the faith, maybe they can, too."
You nailed it.
If your strong devotion can fade, it shows how beliefs are uncertain and choices are fleeting in a world that doesn’t care.
I’ve said this for years - it’s a defense mechanism, because they’re terrified that it might happen to them, and then they would actually have to THINK FOR THEMSELVES.
@@CharlesPayet I don't think they hate thinking for themselves, just the possibility of the result.
@CharlesPayPet Preyz Gord that many are escaping from the Pickle Jarz of Indoctrination 🌠👋😎👍
@@KarmasAB123 I agree, they don’t hate it, but they’re terrified that they would have to do it, because all the easy answers of “because God!” would disappear like smoke in the wind.
I remember being literally terrified of my deconstruction process. It was like walking out into the desert, with no clue if I’d make it out the other side, and what it would be like. My safety net was disappearing, and that was scary. But I made it 20 years ago and have been much happier ever since.
Really goes to show how people praise you for faith but reject you for leaving. It shows how beliefs are flimsy and approval from others is pointless. In the end, it’s all meaningless.
You're down with the lingo of my cult ? Great, then you're in... Until you're out, then you're a demon possessed NPC
If everything is meaningless, then the fact that everything is meaningless, is meaningless. Your argument refutes itself by existing
@@Redtornado6
You've misunderstood the comment.
It never says everything is meaningless. It's referring to church belief and church scenarios as meaningless.
@@Redtornado6 it's pretty clear they're saying religious beliefs are meaningless.
@@Redtornado6 If everything is meaningless, then saying so implies meaning, creating a paradox. It shows how complex our understanding of meaninglessness can be.
Thank you for your videos and I really appreciate you coming back to YT. Cheers
I truly admire your resolve. The hypocrisy of those letters is astounding. That these people could be so convinced at one time that you were the most amazing vessel for the lord now think you are “filthy rags” now.
Maybe, instead of them saying that you were never really a Christian, perhaps they should look deeper within and ask if their own “discernment” was less than in tune with God and ask why that was. Maybe they should take a step back and reevaluate how they could have gotten it so wrong.
Perhaps, if they did that, they might find themselves questioning the entirety of their religion and find themselves exactly where you are now, enlightened by the truth and free from the blindness of faith.
I have always been different from the people around me and I have never strived to fit in with any group. As a black man who grew up in the hood listening to heavy metal from a dual tape deck boom box when he walked the mean streets of the South Side of Chicago, I know a little something about individuality. LMAO!!!
I came up with a motto that says, “Don’t let the group you belong to define who you are. Let who you are define the group.”
I’m proud of you and happy you have found your way out. To hell with those yahoos! I’m sure it hurts as you likely cherished those relationships. But I am certain you are building a new community. A community of people who love you for YOU and not for who they think you should be.
Much love. And keep up the amazing work.
No one can change the world by being the same as everyone else. It's people like you and Kristi that are the difference-makers.
Thank you so much,@@miaomiaochan!
I hope all is well wherever you are.
Nobody ever told me I might not be "saved" when I believed I was, but I was "saved" three times. The first time, I was probably 5 or 6 years old. The second time, I was in a church where they told everyone who wanted to be saved to raise their hand while everyone's eyes were closed in prayer. I didn't raise my hand, but they chose me to go with them anyway as if I had raised it. I assumed "God" had chosen to save me, went with them, and said all the things in hopes that I would be "saved." The third time, I chose to go through the whole "Jesus, please save me" thing because I never felt the transformation I was told I would feel if I was actually saved.
It wasn't until I bought a Bible and started reading it that I realized it not only contradicted known reality, but also contradicted itself. I considered paganism briefly because of the problem of evil, but quickly realized there was no evidence for any deities whatsoever.
When I was a Christian, I was told to testify to others about how "God" has affected my life, but the whole notion seemed ridiculous to me even then, because I never saw any supernatural influence in my life and saw no reason to attribute anything about my life to the supernatural. Now, my well-researched testimony is that there is absolutely no evidence for the existence of any deities, and anyone who believes otherwise has had an experience that they can't explain, so they choose to "explain" it according to whatever religion they were indoctrinated into.
Thanks Kristi. This clip came at the opportune moment. I was feeling lonely during my moving away from Christianity. It’s good to know there are like minded people out there.
You're definitely not alone! I hope you can find a community near you that supports you through this transition from faith to freedom!
only listening to testimony of people who stay in the faith is like shopping online and only reading the 5 star reviews
Well said!!
@@christophergibson7155
That was funny, thanks.
I like the false testimonies better, as they are more salacious. Of course, the false ones from apologists who claim to have been atheists are always unbelievable.
Everyone knows that a true atheist would never abandon ship for a life of fiction.
Deep down you know you aith resides in your heart.
aith = grip on reality.
@@christophergibson7155
. . . " How would you know? . . . Divine revelation and a call from Carl Sagan.
. . . Lord Jesus Christ has saved untold millions of people. . . I think you will find they are still dead. Doctors, Firefighters, and paramedics save millions.
. . . professing" because they already knew God existed. . . You already know your choice of god does not exist, For it is written- Matt Dillahunty 10;33
whoever disowns Zeus before AronRa and Matt Dillahunty, will be up the creek without a paddle;
PineCreek-yotube.
. . . only lying to themeselves, just like you are. Matt Dillahunty 7;1 advises you to take another read of this text, even though you imagine you
are perfect
John W. Loftus 3:20: “Everyone who is photophobic or has basal cell cancer and squamous cell
cancer hates the UV light, and will stay undercover.
The FS Monster forgives you from the bottom of his wife's collander. Try reciting this valuable Pastafarian Prayer to the almighty, as it has power.
“Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan.
Give us this day, our garlic bread, …and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns.
Ramen +woman.
@@251rmartin Well that's why we don't solely rely on testimonies as authoritative. They are mere testimonies and that's it. If people's testimonies can make an impact in others then so be it, But testimonies does not surpass the authority of the truth of scripture. That's how we know what is true and false. I can tell you what I think and I've experienced but who's to say what I think and feel and is valid at all. Man needs to submit to authority like it or not, that's just how reality works. The problem with man is that we want to be in control of our lives and desire to do things in our own terms. Even authentic believers realize this and struggle with it. The question is who will you serve? will you serve yourself and become your own master or will you serve The King of Kings and The Lord Of Lords and submit to his authority.
@@251rmartin I believe all false religions will have some truth sprinkled in them with lies or falsehood. This is what makes false religions deceitful because they contain some good or truth in them. As far as what is the true and right religion. 3 test that you can use is if the religion is true, it has to satisfy 1) Historical facts about that religion and world history 2) Prophecies, how accurate and did it come true 3) Moral and Ethics. Humanity has a problem, SIN. This is why we have wars, hatred, greed, crimes, murders, loneliness, pride, anxiety and so on. Humanity needs to get to a right standing with God the Creator. All other religions try to attain this by good works. "You just need to be a 'Good Person'". To be in a right standing with God, you just have to do good things in your own strength and works. Christianity says you CANNOT appease God by your works. The Bible describes your best efforts/works as "filthy rags" Isaiah 64:6. God the Creator came down as a man Jesus Christ to rescue Humanity from it's SIN and from God's Wrath. Died a horrific death on the Cross reserved for criminals so that God's justice will be satisfied. Therefore, a right standing with God is only through Jesus' perfect worked that was done for the undeserving people like you and me. That is the Greatest form of Love to Sacrifice yourself for your enemy when they do not deserve it.
As someone else said in the comments, this video is healing - like a therapy session for religious trauma. I did not even consider the idea of an "atheist testimony" until mentioned here. People are so quick to say, "I don't know if you were ever a real Christian" when I come out as an ex-Pentecostal. It's so dehumanizing and downright gaslighting behavior. As you said, their love is so conditional upon you being in the "us" group, but if anyone becomes a "them" you get looked at as a failure. I am so glad I am working on building a community who loves and accepts me for who I am, and doing the same for them. Thank you so much for this video Kristi, and can't wait to catch up on your other recent uploads!
If God was a monarch, a human, they would be called a tyrant.
@@lorifiedler13yeah. But watching the believers twist their logic into Knots trying to convince themselves and others that the horrendous way god apparently acts in the bible is actually perfect love from a perfect tri-omni being is painful 😖.
I am from Germany and in the same situation now. It is hard for me, but i am sure that my life will be much better after leaving my Baptist community.
If it helps, you are not alone.
More and more people are realizing they can and are living moral and spiritual lives without religion and the god beliefs.
Look at the stat's of church decline, especially in the U. S. And parts of UK.
Pew research:
Religions known for years their hold over people is waning as they are no longer buying it.
Majority of Athiests in the United States were Christians themselves and evtually completed their journey out of Religion.
- 1/3rd of of the US population has grown Athiest and nones
- 50% of Gen Z are already non-religious
- Gen Alpha will come of age, its predicted Religion will become a minority.
If you want a break down on denominational decline, I recommend TH-cam channel 'Ready to harvest', which ironically is a Christian channel but brought up one by one the declining numbers on all the major Christian denominations in the U. S. And it is staggering.
Brought hope and further encouragement to many leaving Religion.
... Incidentally which is why Christian "nationalism" is on the rise in the United States because it is desperate to try and stay relevant by forcing Christianity on everyone.... But it will fail.
Genuine people once they're out of the Religious indoctrination, they don't come back.
Hang in there my friend. You are free from all they're BS. You are loved no matter what you believe.
@@razony Thank you
@@Alexander-ci9mo
💜
I, too, have had bad experiences within the Baptist faith, the so-called Christians within the church. I mean, when you go to church, the devil will go to church too. The Bible warns us of false teachers and leaders, and it is our responsibility to know the difference as there is only one voice of the Shepherd but many other voices in the world but we are to follow the one voice of the Good Shepherd
Religious people tend to be more dishonest, so I doubt any context will change their insulting, abusive behavior
@@vadouis-rt3of Well, the bad behaviour is often indicative that they don't live by the teachings, they don't really believe what they claim to, and are unable to demonstrate that they have a relationship with an imaginary invisible immortal magician. There's just nothing there.
I will never trust that person, who identifies as a Christian. Can't trust them.
Don't tar them all with the same brush. I know religious people who have supported and continued to love their friends who walked away.
@@vadouis-rt3of you're holding a sack of nothing, give it up, it's false and immoral.
@@vadouis-rt3of the problem is, both sides think they're in the light, and the others are in the darkness =oO
Was just watching one of your videos when you uploaded this lol
Thanks for being such an eloquent voice for the people who leave the faith because reason compels them. Your story reflect mine, and it is good that you are telling it.
Kristi, thank you for creating a safe space for those of us that have walked away from the faith we were once so dedicated to. You’re doing a wonderful thing here with your channel.
If I believed that sin was real and if I wanted to sin I'd become a christian....seeing as it's literally an ideology that is built around avoiding accountability for immoral behavior
@Lilysage - A serial killer and rapist and non-believer can literally repent hours before being executed, and he will be in heaven, according to Christians. A man who lives a loving, loyal, and moral life who supports his family, friends and helps the needy, but does not think there is enough evidence for any God, will go to hell according to Christians.
I have also yet to meet a Christian who sells all that they have and just follow Christ - they always do mental gymnastics for that verse.
Countries that are secular, like Japan, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and Finland (to name a few) have the lowest crime rates and have very low poverty rates. Christian countries LOVE to "sin" 😂
@@LilySage-mf7uf It has *become* that way 1,000%. Back in centuries past, it was the opposite. A person was morally *expected* to do good. Now, with the decay of society and Christianity itself, it is taught as though it is an insurance policy.
I don't think so, the European wars of religion, the inquisitions, the crusades, the spreading of the faith via the sword in the new world. Europe burnt witches for three centuries.
@@LilySage-mf7uf ❤️
@@autumnsmith3585 Christianity is the main cause of the “decay of society” even though they claim it is godlessness.
I just wanted to clarify that.
Just a note of thanks for your "testimony." I am 77 years old and left fundamentalist christianity when in my early 20s. There were of course no TH-cam videos that could have let me know I wasn't alone in my thinking and in the emotional struggle of becoming a non-believer. I, too, was dedicated and all in on my desire to live a life for Christ. I even worked for a summer during college as a radio announcer for WMBI, the flagship radio station of the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. And another summer as a replacement radio missionary in Alaska while the regular missionaries left to visit churches in the lower 48 states to raise money for the rest of their year. I lived the life of daily bible study and prayer. So, thanks for your clarity, your sincerity, and maybe especially the kindness that comes through in your speaking.
You are so SO brave. I have no idea if I have commented my own story on your videos before, but my parents came to find out I was transgender before ever knowing that I'm now atheist. None of my parents not siblings know I don't believe in God and after the last decade of my family having a hard time even coming to tolerate my transition, I just don't think I can tell them that I'm no longer Christian.
It's devastating just from that alone as my feelings and identity have been invalidated so many times I had to move out and be far from them. I'm happy that I'm able to be myself though there's no acceptance, only mild tolerance. So just from that being a hard thing, I can't imagine what it'd be like to tell them I don't believe God is even real. It's terrifying. But ive experienced a lot of religious trauma due to my identity and at one point was taken to the pastors house to basically be lectured and told I totally don't want to be trans at all and I'm truly yearning to be cisgender! I think that was the most traumatizing thing I've experienced outside of the arguments and labels I've been called by my own mom. Even though all that happened, I still can't bare to hate them :( it's so hard. You're so inspiring Kristie. I'm glad I can at least feel so much more comfortable listening to your videos and seeing other exchristians. Thank you for speaking your truth.
I remember being scared to death as an 8 year old after hearing the Abraham story! I was scared of being alone with my dad for weeks!
I still don't let my dad get behind me with any sort of blade.
On the other hand, I wonder how many dads would be terrified of their daughters offering him wine after reading Lot 😨
Think of all the psychotics who are ready to kill because God told them. What loving God would tell anyone to do that? If I was Abraham, Id have said, “I’m sorry (thats my Canadian showing), but you can’t be God if you are asking me to do that. You sound more like Satan.”
God is love? why dose satan and God talk the same talk WORSHIP ME!!!!! I DEMAND!!!!! OR ELS!!!!!! th-cam.com/video/BqcDXIx6CA8/w-d-xo.html
This is one of the major stories that I called out when my step dad was trying to force Christianity on me as a teenager.
I broke him with the logic and he stopped asking me to go.
I started with, Satan can trick people into doing things against God right?
Yes. He deceives and you shouldn't listen to him.
How do I know what he is trying to trick me with?
He will ask you to do evil deeds.
So when God told Abraham to kill Issac... Shouldn't his response have been, no Satan I will not let you trick me into killing my son. My god would never ask me to commit such an evil deed.
So... Any instructions we "receive" from God could actually be from Satan tricking us into doing what he wants, OR God is a dick. The god commanded Abraham to murder his child, and that is something his god would ask of him, so he just did it?
(Still me talking to my step dad). If I had a dog, and I had not listened to you a few times when you asked me to do something, would you tell me to kill the dog to show you that I trusted you? If I did kill the dog, would you feel ok that I would just do it, because you asking me to kill the dog would be a normal request?
He kind of had no answer. I think he was flabbergasted that a 15 year old kid had thought about this WAY more than he had and with this level of understanding. He stopped asking me to go to church, but that was the day I stopped holding back what I thought of things, and he would always say "I was too smart for my own good". Which I took as a compliment. I wasn't dumb enough to be a Christian, cause they didn't get to me early enough.
I am LIVING for this burst of Kristi Burke videos after the hiatus! 😊❤
Christy, I want to thank you for this video. It has helped me tremendously and has encouraged me and given me comfort.
I had kids early in life and I became atheist later in life after my children were grown. During my de-conversion, I experienced entire nights of fasting and prayer seeking god’s guidance. I suffered abuse from my ex-husband who was a “respected” church deacon. After years of seeking and reasoning, I concluded that there were no gods and religions are man made.
It was hard to tell my family, but the most painful reaction has been from one of my adult daughters who told me we will never be able to be close because I am no longer part of the faithful. It’s hard from others in the family, but from my own child it has been particularly difficult and painful for me.
My other daughter is more tolerant and not as harsh on me, but still remains somewhat distant.
Thank you for sharing your story and making me feel better that at least, I’m not alone.
That was very “Christian “of your daughter if I can use that term.I guess love only works if you share the same beliefs. So much for brotherly or in this case daughterly love.
Their opinion of you was correct, you are bold and strong. You story resonates so much with me and listening to you gives me strength.
1:28 Reminds me of that lovely prayer that we tell little kids at night, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." Not only scary to the child to think that he or she might not be saved, but also that their soul could be taken away!
Ha! I actually mentioned that prayer in recording but cut it out to save time 😅 that was the prayer i used to say before i slept every night.
I re wrote it recently. Maybe you'll like my remix:
Now i lay me
Down to sleep
My soul is mine
Alone to keep
If i shall die
Before i wake
I hope the stars will
Hold my fate
💗
@@jezebelvibes 🫵😎 👏 👍
@@jezebelvibes l'll have to remember that & thank you for your brilliant channel Kristi!
"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my toys to break. So none of the other kids can play with them."
I also said this prayer as a child but I totally forgot about it. I didn't really think too hard about the words back then.
So glad to see you back. 😊
Thanks for the support!
As an Ex-Jehovah's Witness it is as if you have lived my story. Thank you for expressing it so well.
I heard an old song by The Electric Amish that said "I was once in love with a Jehovah witness. It really improved on my physical fitness! But life was such a bore, knocking door to door..." something like that.
The moment that one realizes the control aspect of religion, the illusion disperses. It's all about control.
I think this is such a great point! As a Christian *everyone* cared about your testimony, but as soon as my beliefs started changing it was not only taboo, but I was outright told the topic was off the table for discussion.
They don’t care about testimony, they care about their own confirmation bias.
And they told you, you never really were Christian… Same old rhetoric.
PeterLarsenJr - To be fair though if someone believed in Hod but then claims they deconstructed because they don’t believe and realize they never really did, then by their own admission they were not really a Christian.
Christians are pagans.
It is possible to be enlightened in your understanding of God and then walk away from the truth and go back into sin bondage as God restores our free will to us and lets us choose to serve him or not after salvation. One can trample under their foot the blood of Jesus that gave them the freedom to choose whom they will serve. But to those who do, there remaineth no more sacrifice for their sins
@@PaulaButero
??? OMG. You hurt my... thoughts. There is no need for salvation. Go from there, without sounding crazy. Go...
@@PeterLarsenJr
Christians are not even real Christians. They are fake Christians.
Christian testimonies are always so sensational. "I was a Satanist WITCH until I discovered Jesus and recanted." It reminds me of those National Enquirer headlines.
LOL! They do tend to be a little dramatic sometimes.
It’s all for the sake of being dramatic and theatrical. Very stereotypical things to be celebrated within their new echo chamber.
It’s sad that religion has done such a number on us that those us who break away are seen so negatively and our testimony is no longer respected or believed. I feel like there’s many in my life that would have nothing to do with me if I really was honest about the person that I am now concerning religion.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know Jesus was missing. Where was he last seen?"
@@jezebelvibes Have you seen David Wood's long video on his conversion story? Talk about dramatised!
Christians are the biggest and best advertisements for atheism one could conceive of.
I agree, and we Christians need to do better
@@PolymorphicPenguinyes we do
Huh, I thought it was the atheist videos I watched lol
Actually living comfortably with no problems is the biggest advertisement for atheism
If there were no religion, there'd be no atheists.
_Religion causes atheism._
Those of us who grew up in this fundamental Christian environment are traumatized. Period. Thankfully some of us have broken free from it. I really do feel sorry for the many people who are still trapped in it.
ME TOO. My best friend in the world is still in... She cut me off and ended our friendship because I left. 😓😓😓 I hate christianity for doing this to us... 💔
@@RatsPicklesandMusic I’m so sorry. It’s crazy to me that these people can just cut friends and family members off for not believing like they do.
Keep hope. The day will come when they’re free too. Who knows, maybe now that we’re free we can seek the, out and help free them from these mental chains.
Thank you Kristi. I wish I could show this video to my husband because he is the type of Christian you are talking about. He has been very resistant to hearing my deconversion story and accepting me for who I am now. He needs to hear this to maybe open his eyes to the pain he's caused me, but I know he won't because he is afraid like you said. He's afraid that if a strong Christian like me can walk away, maybe it could happen to him, and he needs the comfort of believing it to be true to help him through his days. But he's pushed me away in the process and even tried to blame himself for my deconversion (spiritual leader complex) and then blame me for not letting him in when I was going through all this so he could "help" me. He's called me brain washed, likened me to a q-anon conspiracy theorist, and told me that it just must have been so easy to walk away when it has been anything but easy. It's so hard. I love channels like yours to feel like I'm not alone. ❤
I wish I could hug you through the screen! That sounds terrible, and I'm so sorry your partner invalidates you like that. You deserve to be heard, loved and accepted for where you are. I really hope your husband comes around. And if he doesn't, I hope you find your most free and authentic path. You deserve it.
Ouch !
You're being gaslit by him.
I wish you the best , and hope you can work through the challenges facing your path with your husband.
Though I would never fault someone who splits for a reason such as such different foundational beliefs.
@jezebelvibes thanks. I feel the hugs. 😊
@headams6... wishing you all the best for your future and good luck with your journey. All deconstruction takes is intellectual honesty and a willingness to follow the truth wherever it leads... and despite what theists say if you come from a strongly Christian culture it's never easy and often painful but truth is worth following.
Don't try to drag him down with you. What if you're wrong in the end? I am certain that Christianity is true but I can understand why anyone would disagree. You should watch debates between atheist and Christian apologists and perhaps do your own research.
This one must have been hard to make. I am sorry you had to go through such a betrayal from those closest to you. Have a virtual hug, and my respect.
Hugs back!
Thanks! Informative and healing. I needed to hear that.
Thank you for the support!
Kristi, as usual, you're spot on.
Thank you, Kristi. You are so charitable with Christians compared to how they treat you. For instance, the point of cognitive dissonance is almost granting them an excuse. I rather expect theres a lack of critical thinking and pretending things they want to believe (wishful thinking) in it's place.
Everyone gets cognitive dissonance, at least if they're trying to be honest with themselves. Rational minded people will learn to live with ambivalence and uncertainty. The religious mind is a different creature to me. It all comes back to doxastic voluntarism (the idea that one can CHOOSE what they believe). That in itself betrays all rational thinking.
Faith is anathema to reason, and cognitive dissonance is tantamount to making yourself MAKE BELIVE. If theres nothing you can't just pretend to believe then there's nothing to check reality against. How is it that Christians of all people; who espouse freewill as a tool taken for granted, to choose a belief in Christian doctrine; how could they ever experience cognitive dissonance?
Great topic. I love your style, very level headed and relateable. I feel like I've had a therapy session after every video!
You were a bright ornament on their Christmas tree, a role you outgrew. Had you stayed, you would have been stunted for life. It is "digging deeper" that leads an intelligent person out of the captivity of religion. Life is a process of discovery. It is a real pleasure to hear what you are discovering along the pathway of honesty.
“There’s no greater hate than Christian love.” Rings true time and time again.
Christian love can be hypocritical and judgmental, which shows the inconsistency of human beliefs.
Most importantly you disobey God- Matthew 22:37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’
@@MrRobot-jb5tIBut Jesus became a man and and provided an example so your without excuse
Generalizing groups?
@Giwii-ojimin god isn't real so no worries on that front.
Girl I just want to say I get so excited when I see your face pop up on my notifications❤
🥰
Same here.. lol i immediately put the brakes on and say…
Hummm let’s see what This one is about. lol…
Definitely Appreciate What all you do on the Channel Kristi.!
The Logic and Rational Thinking and Simply Breaking things down.!
Definitely Someone that Digs Deep.! And By hearing those letters you always have been.
I am the same way.. there are those that are okay with being told this is how things work..
And there are those of us who want to know the “Who, What, When, Where, Why” of things…
Thanks Again for All that you do and Share.! 👊😎
@@brucenunn3268 beautifully said! ❤️
Thanks for your comments. I know what pushed me out of Christianity was and is unique to me. My life experiences are unique to me and so are my reactions.
Your video really spoke to me. This same day three years ago was the last time I believed in a god. Ever since I’ve been happier and authentic to myself.
However, it’s still hard for me to go on without the approval and respect of so many people I care about. I know I don’t need it, but it was a big part of me growing up as one of the church’s most beloved people for their faith and knowledge.
I hope this video gets to more people that need to hear your story. Keep it up! ❤
wow this made me cry. this is the first time i feel so identified with an experience, thank you for putting this out!
Sending all my warmest wishes to you for peace and happiness
I've been there... I sooo relate to everything you are talking about. I appreciate and am touched by the letters of encouragement but ultimately, this is all about emotional manipulation isn't it. I had the hardest time being ok with not believing for a long time. I admire and appreciate the lives some of my former friends who are still believers have and I can appreciate how faith played a role in that success. I think we're near a point of faith dying or becoming irrelevant in society and politics and I'm excited for the day when right is right and wrong is wrong solely for objectively moral grounds alone.
You have one of the strongest voices about leaving Christianity. Your content is important. Thanks for sharing!
I really like your new videos (in the last 10 days or so). I hate how condescending and patronizing some Theists are towards myself and others that are Agnostic/Atheist. When you leave a church, people just all of sudden drop you it seems. They don't talk to you any more, they don't associate and all that. I know that I have found SO many good resources for my de-conversion (started in 2020, but I have been Atheistic for about 2 years now) on TH-cam and this channel has definitely been a part of it! Welcome back and thank you for putting out regular videos as of late :)
9:15 This part I felt like crying because it is so true. I left the faith at 17, there were times before I went back and forth about my beliefs but now I’m ex-Baptist. Recently, I deeply regret telling my mom I’m deist (even lgbtq sometimes). I thought I could trust her. Sometimes she would taunt me, mumble underneath her breath, or pretend she didn’t know what she said until I pointed out the obvious- then she’ll cry, literally… :/ As weird as this sounds, I still deeply care for my mom.
I’ve been watching your videos for awhile. I love how you drive into the issues and problems with Christianity as a whole! Also thank you Kristi for giving me the encouragement the comment on here!💖
Great to have you back Kristi!
Thank you for being you ❤
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s interesting to me to hear people of different religions who leave and experience the same sort of things. I was raised Mormon and left a few years back in my mid 20s. My own parents went from viewing me as a great young man, to being incredibly disappointed in me. Luckily now that I’m older I’m not affected by their disappointment, I just do what I believe I should. It’s so ironic that the people who thought so highly of me are now disappointed even though I’ve actually become a better person after leaving their religion
"They don't love you, they love the construct of you that they created."
This hit hard.
I'm dealing with it right now with my grandma. She keeps saying stuff like, "One day you'll be back."
It upsets me because nobody ever actually cares about even trying to know what I've gone through. They just assume the exact things mentioned in the video.
i love your videos kristi 🫶🏽🫶🏽 i’m so glad you’re back!!! never stop posting pls
Kristi's videos hit different. Thank you for the love and validation!
so happy you are back
🥰 thanks for the support!
Kristi, I admire that you are an ambitious, bold, determined young lady. You amaze me. I learn from you. You have my admiration:) You give validation to how I feel. Thank you for this channel.
You have quickly became one of my favorites to listen to. You have a way with your words and you're much appreciated. Thank you.
I used to hang out at the christian bookstore in my shirts with upsidedown crosses and pentagrams getting all the high scores on the christian Guitar Hero untill they got rid of it lol
The embrace by the people, then retraction by the people of hte church feels very culty, but that's what it is so we shouldn't be surprised.
Kristi, you give me hope for humanity.😊❤
To have started my deconstruction journey last year after finding your videos during my crisis of faith and now prepping to come out to family as a proud apostate atheist, it’s so cool to watch your videos as they come out. Welcome back! 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾
Sephirothed I will never be able to understand why the Atheist choose to be angry in life. Billions of people have a HOPE of a happy life after death and a wonderful and Beautiful place to live for all Eternity. But Atheist which is about the smallest number of people that we can count, HOPE that all those billions of people are wrong. Sounds to me something that I would want to believe in.
@@robertrlkatz6890 I can’t speak for other atheists, but I’m not hoping Christianity is wrong. I just don’t believe it’s real anymore. If people derive hope from it more power to them. I hope they get joy out of it. I haven’t chosen to be angry. I’m not sure why you assume atheists are angry.
@@Sephirothed0116 Yes, Atheist are an angry people give them a little time to talk and it does not take long that what they say is misguided or misplaced. They will start saying very hateful things about God and then they turn right around and say we don't hate God because we don't believe in Him.
@@robertrlkatz6890you won’t be able to understand because you straight up don’t even know our beliefs and why we have our beliefs.
I’m an atheist, if I was truly angry at god and believed he was real I would still be a theist, just a non-worshiping one. I’m an atheist because I simply do not find the evidence convincing for theism and find passive atheism to be a better stance to hold. I used to be Christian, I WANTED to stay Christian (because who doesn’t want the safety net of eternal life after death?), but I cannot fool myself into believing something I don’t. I don’t just pick and choose what I believe, every person is forced to believe what they find convincing. If not, I would just choose the religion that would cause the greatest amount of pleasure for all creatures (which would most certainly not be Christianity).
I can even use your logic right back at you: I will never under why the Christian chooses to be angry in life. There are those that believe every single person and animal after death will eventually reach eternal happiness. But billions of these Christians hope these people are wrong and that roughly 90% of the entirety of humanity will burn eternal in executing agony.
And just because your numbers are bigger doesn’t mean anything, that would be an appeal to popularity fallacy.
@@_Sloppyham If you are not a Christian now then you were never a Christian. You would have been a Christian in name only. If you knew more of your Bible you would know this. You never had the assurance that you were saved and on your way to Heaven, if so then you would not say what you believe now. Don't get angry at me for telling you this because God is the one who has said this. Just like you mentioned Eternal Life. When God is using these words He means Eternal which does not mean for a little while it means forever.
Thank you, Kristi - your clarity, authenticity and wisdom is definitely inspiring!
We had a similar culture when I was in a Hindu-adjacent yoga cult. We had our "finding Krishna" stories that were encouraged and always true, but the people who left were not to be trusted, were liars, were "envious of God," and so on and so forth. Nothing a person who left had to say about the organization was worth listening to, according to the cult.
Your videos are so validating and insightful. Thanks for sharing them with us💕
💗💗💗
Miss Kristi, thank you so much. Your videos help me feel seen.
Thank you for choosing to gift this corner of the internet your relatable stories, and your thoughts. ✨
I appreciate your support 😊
I feel so seen. Ever since I’ve left Christianity I’ve become a better person and I felt more like myself than ever. But most importantly I’ve felt the most peace internally and externally.
However hate and disregard was quick from the people who were supposed to be my friends and Christians.
I'm on my journey of deconstructing from Christianity.. it's a very hard journey.. I've done plenty of research on Christianity and the origins. And from the facts I seen Christianity is a fairytale the difficult part for me is the fear of I'm making the wrong decision but the. I think that fear is the same fear that most Christians are Christians it's out of fear.
One thing I do know.... you are " a shining light !!!"
So sweet
I want to thank you for tackling this topic. I don't believe I've heard anyone talk about this as the sole focus.
I personally didn't have to deal with this.
I was on the other side where members seemed to really care as long as my family and I were there and serving in the church. Then after we left we received phone calls (no visits or extra effort) for a few weeks and that was the end of that.
I've never "fit" into any church I've been a part of so walking away from organized religion wasn't as hard for me from that standpoint, but it still deeply hurt because I was never uplifted or cared for.
There are no bigger gangs and cliques to me than in the church.
It's so messed up to tell a 5 year old that they were born inherently wicked and deserve to go to hell. Faith is child abuse.
P.S. They did the same to me.
That shouldn't happen at 5. Children are closer to God than adults. They don't need to know about hell until they are a lot older and not to frighten them but to explain that there is consequences for sin and living how you want.
Thanks Kristi for your videos!
Thanks you! I am a 71 year old man and BOTH of my parents were ministers. I was taught that the only thing worse than a sinner was a back-slider. But from a very early age I was so troubled by what I would later found was called hypocrisy. It was all around me in the church and yet totally ignored or excused. It is impossible to live that way unless you are willing to swim in that same pool of self-delusion. I have since found far more "Christian" behavior among none believers than I EVER found inside the walls of most churches today.
Proud to be a back slider. Nothing worse than living in hell, knowing all along you can just walk away from it.
I think that’s because atheists are nice/decent because that’s who they really are, whereas Christians are nice because they want the reward of heaven or are scared of hell.
I just came from an NA meeting in the basement of a church. The pastor of the church sits in the weekly NA meeting. It was his turn to speak he said, "there is more truth here than in the pews on Sunday morning, so keep doing what your doing". I most definitely concur. Christian Morality is weak at best and has no place in our multicultural society.
@@Just_a_Servant Dear friend: Thanks so much. I am also in the twelve step program. It took four times through treatment. In November, if I don't slip, I will be celebrating 36 years of recovery. You keep doing what you're doing and NEVER forget who and what you are.
@Just_a_Servant
Because there is nothing Divine going on here. It's all manmade. Manmade problems, manmade everything. We can't evolve till we take responsibility of our actions. Religions are the worst at accountability of their own actions. Blame Demons and Devils. Jesus fing Christ, when we grow the f... up?
Kristi, you have a beautiful light in you - you glow❤
It's funny because fundamentalists will say that only people that believe in God and in Christ as their savior have this light. The light inside of us is something that belongs to us and is not confined within a religious belief. The light comes from inside because we are kind loving and beautiful to each other And do the best we can to appreciate every day, although sometimes it's not easy.😊
Ummmmmmm
I hear you say some of the very same things my wife went through and is still going through with her friends and family. About 15 years ago we went to the creation museum and my dear wife PTSD kicked in. I think that trip helped her, in her deconstruction journey. Keep doing what you are doing YOU are helping others!
ex Jehovah's Witness here, my dad was a good guy and didn't expect us to become full time ministers or anything but he made sure we knew the grisly parts of the Bible, and would spank the hell out of us, though he hated doing it, but he would say "the Bible says I have to and one day I will have to answer to Jehovah for what kind of parent I was." Our family worship consisted of studying a book from 1969 that was purely doctrinal in nature, no practical help. I quit when I was 25 and unlike 99.9% of JW parents mine never shunned me and dad would listen to my doubts and research that I had done. Mom is almost 80 now and we have the best relationship we have ever had. Of course everyone I knew from the various congregations shunned me but a few friends quit around the same time I did so I wasn't all on my own. Seems like 18 lifetimes ago now but I still keep up with the JW thing because of mom. I get why people love Jesus and are proud to be Christian but none of it makes any sense to me.
So happy to have you back!!
I am glad you are back and posting some stuff. Love the insights you bring. Refreshing to hear.
I'm trans, I grew up Christian, I prayed sooo many times "Cure me or kill me, or make me a girl" it was hell, I tried, so hard, I fasted, I prayed, I was in the church band and I gave all my childhood to the church, but as soon as they discovered I self harmed and I wanted to kill myself they shamed me in front of everyone, the youth pastor show my arms to everyone and made me feel so ashamed.
It took me years and 3 suicide attempts to finally let go and accept that I was trans and to give myself a chance to be who I really was, it was painful and I lost so many people but I'm happier than ever now.
And that's why I despise abrahamic religions.
I'm so sorry for the pain you've had to endure. You deserve to live your most free and authentic life. I hope you continue to find happiness and peace. You deserve it
@@BingoMomi Prove it
@@BingoMomi I did, for years, I really did. It's impossible to believe for me now.
I am truly sorry to hear that you have been treated so loveless by fellow Christians.
I've watched several of your videos since one of them first appeared in my recommendations list a few days ago, and having gone through this process myself several years ago, I gotta say... You are a rock star!
I hope you can keep doing what you're doing, because if you enjoy doing it, I have no doubt that you are a positive influence in the lives of more people than you'll ever know.
Wow, thank you so much! That's really encouraging
Your very good at explaining these important issues and you are definitely helping people with these insights, thanks!
All Christians say us ex Christians will burn in hell judging us doing the exact opposite to what the bible you are always interesting love your channel
LiamODonovan-l6e - You know what all Christians say do ya?
; )
@@ianalan4367 they usually say we were never really Christians
ianalan4367 - I’m sure many do. To be fair though, if someone states they deconstructed because they realized it wasn’t true and that they didn’t really believe then by their own admittance they never were really a Christian.
That would be similar to someone saying I am no longer an atheist because I have always believed there is a God. They never were an atheist.
Most are cultural Christians so they don't really know much about the bible.
@ianalan4367 this makes no sense. People can sincerely believe and then change their mind over time. That's just life. Your bullshit statement that they were never Christians is just copium on your part.