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Our lack of foundation is fundamental to our ability to adapt to any situation; however, we still know ourselves at a core level, which comes from our ability to introspect. I've always known who I am and that I am different. We are different in a fundamental way, and many people can't handle the truth about who we are, and we know that also. And then, finally, you get to an age or stage of development where what other people think really doesn't matter.
I learned early enough (college back in the early 90's) about INFJ/MBTI (psych degree - haha!). I'm glad I did. I'm also happy that there is a lot more accessibility to people now, especially younger people. I do find the brainy touch videos to be more...accurate in some videos than many about the nitty-gritty/confusing aspects and not just about glamorizing and/or stereotypical things. For example, I didn't door-slam people for the most part. I just "let go" in the best way that I could, and they seemed fine with it as well. Now, I call it "The art of letting go." Discernment development, especially as it relates to my empathy and seeing when I'm people-pleasing. You're spot on about the foundation. It's a huge asset to have, in my opinion.
I love reading replies in infj threads. I find the connection I have been missing all my life. Have any of you guys found a balance between listening and uplifting others, and the need to be heard? I find that most people will gladly talk and we listen, but when it comes to my turn to speak suddenly they are no longer interested in interacting. And another, in relation to the ego breaking, is it "right" to let others know that we see through the veil? Or wiser to be quiet about it and not hurt their feelings? On one hand, I want to curate the people i associate with, and if I teach them how i like or dont like to be treated, and they can alter that behaviour, then we can be closer, if they cant, then it is one sided and i wouldnt want to waste my energy. On the other hand, the ego breaking causes them so much pain, they either hate or get intimidated(?), as their image of nice caring person they thought i was gets shattered and i create more distance and "ruin" the relationship. Robert greene says to validate/play to how they think they are, to make people like you. If we see them as how they see themselves, they will like us. One of the laws of power. But doesnt this conflict with us being authentic? The thing i am trying now is being fully authentic to those closest to me, but I have not been getting good results. I would imagine that them knowing i have good intentions will negate the pain they feel, but it seems that the ego is still stronger, and they need to retalliate back, as if to even the score.
@@iamnoteric I couldn't finish the Robert Greene book because it didn't feel right for me. I think the intention is important. I like connection, not power per se. Authenticity, not mind games or "fake it to make it." I'm not dissing, just my own preferences. I think Robert Greene is typed INTJ, but you know how typing goes on others, so take it with a grain of salt. I would suggest developing more discernment and getting comfortable with different types of relationships with different depth levels. I have a couple of friends I can be very open and deep with, and they love and accept me for who I am, but I'm 53 and consider myself lucky. Understanding the other types, even from a basic level can help because you then start to see how others are just being themselves as well...at that stage of their journey. They have their own strengths that we don't have. We were able to cultivate our relationships over decades. Now that I have children, one typed INFJ, another ENTP, I can definitely appreciate the differences and the growth I've gone through (and still am, especially with my ENTP!). Time and patience can be a game changer with us INFJs I think. I joined an INFJ meetup and we meet online and in person for those in the area. However, two of my closest friends are from childhood and not INFJs, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I went through a huge "mid-life reevaluation" in my 40s, and I try to avoid major ego shifting unless someone is trying to hurt others. The one thing I would recommend is working through the INFJ Personality Hacker podcasts and maybe their course (I took it years ago). I find the podcasts are top notch and way more in-depth than what you find in these videos. Again, perhaps learn about the other types as well a bit. Dr. Dario Nardi also has a great book out that I found fascinating about the brain patterns they are finding with the types. Have a great day from another person with INFJ preferences! ;) www.amazon.com/Decode-Your-Personality-Myers-Briggs-Brain-Based/dp/B0CMJ5W5DX/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1XAQQ0V7GB8BX&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.YgV6rNQ_s8f2NR1Q-U0ohngflbWx9zPT82aSL89v799e0J9Em7a1l_fbjUo3O-QndRiuW5Z09-BmhKcqM7eM5XBEQkEPJ4Akg7m4QQWOHbCD5frZiBwym0kpaOdEfkSFgkQw6D6MGFJ3AqP_KzzGzrfzj4G2x8On5QBo7lQj97BAm1KQs5DQCl_5RgJNkznwksorxi3j9pNpUGI-NVa7_WgLA1-QcZk7jaq0UXbOjj4.8bKI3zQXS4QtgWFhkTouJFwG-1kcZjg3LaLKNNPMZns&dib_tag=se&keywords=dario+nardi&qid=1734061140&sprefix=dario+nardi%2Caps%2C445&sr=8-1
@@brendagervais thanks for the reply, only an infj can put so much effort to help a stranger :) i get what you are saying about different depth levels. and the part about them being themselves, at that stage of life. my take home message is not to be so rigid with my thought process and not to put people in boxes. thanks again!
I have been described as a lightning rod. Everyone around me gets zapped. It isn’t out of malice. I am truly trying to improve the ish in the world. The lack of honesty is abhorrent and I fear one day the act of asking questions will get me unalived. People prefer self delusion and pain.
@@ppeterson6303 I hear that, even when they know deep down they still stay the same, staying in their egotistical bubble wrapped up in anti social media.
@ most people aren’t interested in growth. They figure they can “learn it after they are dead” then ask forgiveness based on ignorance. My arguments for that “logic” are: 1. What if God is smarter than that? , 2. What if there is no god and you return as a poo eating worm based on your refusal to see reality? There are too many ifs for me not to question everything in my desire to be as connected as possible NOW. 🤷♀️ I figure if there is a god, I have a better chance of wheedling my way out of a flaming eternity based on pursuit of truth than they do based on pursuit of ignorance…🤷♀️ If not and “heaven” is full of a bunch of ignorant idiots, I prefer the other.😜
In our sensitive society INFJs are needed to tell it like it is. It is crazy how people pour gas all over us but get all wide eye when we light the match. 🔥Mind you that we are foreigners in an Extraverted society but we manage, we always do.
My psychologist brought this to my attention; my loss of identity. I cried when I learned my personality type. Once I embarked on my healing journey with new information, I had to cut out many relationships in order to create clear boundaries and stay true to myself.
I would argue that our Ti is the grounding force of our other cognitive functions. The chameleon effect is because our high emotional intelligence, the prerequisite for being a counselor type, augments a high social IQ, a social agility, and since we are anti-cultists, and suspicious of blanketed conformity, our Ti gives us a strong sense of our authenticity. So, that social agility, that chameleon effect, doesn't makes us lose ourselves in different social settings. After all, INFJs are also known as lone wolves, meaning we break away from a group mentality and are very independent and comfortable being ourselves. As an INFJ, "authenticity" is our driving force thru life. Our Ti also allows us not to lose ourselves when we absorb other people's emotions. Sure, I can feel what a person is feeling, but then I can quickly detach my Fe using my Ti to analyze objectively on what's really going on, reading between the lines, intuitive ah-ha, (how a counselor is so affective, psychoanalyzing, but for us INFJs, it's second nature...like breathing), and then I can look away and do that again with another stranger, and so forth and so on... I can also turn it off and on at will (absorbing others emotions)...using my Ti. I rarely lose my sense of who I am, unless I am in a Ni-Ti loop. When a Mother Teresa, or a Martin Luther King Jr, or another INFJ like Jesus is in a room full of people, they are very much solid in their character, what you see is what you get, people in that room knows exactly who they are, they just all happen to own a grace, a social agility to be able to connect on deep level to whomever they want to connect with in that room. It just "happens" that our Fe can match people's energy and attitudes to build a rapport with them. The only people that have a problem with me are the narcissists because I am an anti-cultists.
Sirphil13. Everything you said is so true! Most of this video was correct, but the chameleon part was way off. We know EXACTLY who we are. Always. Never veer from our authentic true self.
@@ScatpackSRT6.4 when we are raised with certain types of childhood trauma, we can be late bloomers. Many INFJ’s describe this lack of self until we develop it later in life. Like, the kernel was there, but we aren’t connected to it until we somewhat heal and find ourselves. Certainly not all INFJ’s, but a large enough number of us to be a common experience. And because of how we cope (blend in using Fe and strong observation), we are very effective at obscuring our true selves until we can have the safety and time to re-parent this delayed (stunted) part of our development. I married an INTP (Ti lead) and I find his Ti so comforting and consistent. It was not until after we were married several years to feel safe enough to heal. It was not a logical choice. At certain distinct events (or rather, steady NON-dramatic life in emotional safety), my body felt safe and breakthroughs came. I had been in therapy but currently was not, so it truely was timing set by my body. 🥲❤ As an INFJ, I feel that the OP is spot on in saying our Ti is key to that steadiness. Growing up in a chaotic, emotionally immature ESFx house, I clung to my Ti like a life raft! And getting away from living with those people was essential for me to finally “meet myself” and grow.
I will speak the truth, about myself, about others, about the reality of obstacles and situations. Egos crumble like dust. Bridges burn. I forge new ones, I walk alone, and I will not be impeded. Got ignorant, threatened mfs gangstalking😂
Accidental ? Maybe when I was younger, now if I have suffer through some bullshitter that annoys me I tend to confront them and then call them out in public. I love watching liars squirm.
This isn't true of me at all. I always tend to be a people pleaser, see the best in people, and am a terrible judge of character. Ive taken the test several times and it always comes out INFJ. I share so many of those traits. Wish I had this superpower.
Ppl these days will not listen to anything logical. It's not worth the effort. That being said I do and say what I want and I don't care who gets offended. The only person that matters that likes me or doesn't like me is the one looking back in the mirror.
Egotistical, arrogant, conceited, weaponize humor, cold, dead inside, unfriendly, chauvinistic, "Paul Bunion" (whatever that person meant)... When I reflect I don't feel I identify with those traits. I'd say I work and watch to not be them. You can't really miss yourself putting others down and pumping yourself up all the time. I hardly speak, but every time I do... it seems like fireworks are going off for everyone else.
If you're a strong INFJ....meaning your archetype might be Sigma.... that differentiating is easier than it seems.... Learn where/when to mitigate your concerns for someone else. They need a therapist...not you.
Personality types are really dumb, look into their origin. You can take the test at different times and come up with different things depending on how you feel. Continue your education guys, humans love putting things in categories.
The only dump thing about this statement is that as you continue to take this thing, call the test of life. You will eventually realize that everything about you will change at different times. Such as your emotional state, skin color, hair color, height, weight,and even your health etc, but at the end of the day, ones default self will always remain consistent, skin is skin no matter what color it may changes to at any particular time. MBTI is like a default setting, so if you can take that test and constantly come up with a different type, you might need to check out your processing system, bro. You don't know who you are yet, because you chance your mind too much! ( INFJ )🤷🏿♂️
👉 Get your FREE Personality Test here: rebrand.ly/5hjxde9
Relationship Guidance:
👉 Learn the psychology of men to make him worship you: rebrand.ly/yhwg6k8
👉 Discover the psychology to attract a loving, loyal girlfriend: rebrand.ly/9qw1iyf
PS. Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE with a friend!
Thank you for all your support 🙏
Our lack of foundation is fundamental to our ability to adapt to any situation; however, we still know ourselves at a core level, which comes from our ability to introspect. I've always known who I am and that I am different. We are different in a fundamental way, and many people can't handle the truth about who we are, and we know that also. And then, finally, you get to an age or stage of development where what other people think really doesn't matter.
Thank you for sharing… I’m definitely relating.
I learned early enough (college back in the early 90's) about INFJ/MBTI (psych degree - haha!). I'm glad I did. I'm also happy that there is a lot more accessibility to people now, especially younger people. I do find the brainy touch videos to be more...accurate in some videos than many about the nitty-gritty/confusing aspects and not just about glamorizing and/or stereotypical things. For example, I didn't door-slam people for the most part. I just "let go" in the best way that I could, and they seemed fine with it as well. Now, I call it "The art of letting go." Discernment development, especially as it relates to my empathy and seeing when I'm people-pleasing. You're spot on about the foundation. It's a huge asset to have, in my opinion.
I love reading replies in infj threads. I find the connection I have been missing all my life. Have any of you guys found a balance between listening and uplifting others, and the need to be heard? I find that most people will gladly talk and we listen, but when it comes to my turn to speak suddenly they are no longer interested in interacting.
And another, in relation to the ego breaking, is it "right" to let others know that we see through the veil? Or wiser to be quiet about it and not hurt their feelings? On one hand, I want to curate the people i associate with, and if I teach them how i like or dont like to be treated, and they can alter that behaviour, then we can be closer, if they cant, then it is one sided and i wouldnt want to waste my energy. On the other hand, the ego breaking causes them so much pain, they either hate or get intimidated(?), as their image of nice caring person they thought i was gets shattered and i create more distance and "ruin" the relationship.
Robert greene says to validate/play to how they think they are, to make people like you. If we see them as how they see themselves, they will like us. One of the laws of power. But doesnt this conflict with us being authentic? The thing i am trying now is being fully authentic to those closest to me, but I have not been getting good results. I would imagine that them knowing i have good intentions will negate the pain they feel, but it seems that the ego is still stronger, and they need to retalliate back, as if to even the score.
@@iamnoteric I couldn't finish the Robert Greene book because it didn't feel right for me. I think the intention is important. I like connection, not power per se. Authenticity, not mind games or "fake it to make it." I'm not dissing, just my own preferences. I think Robert Greene is typed INTJ, but you know how typing goes on others, so take it with a grain of salt.
I would suggest developing more discernment and getting comfortable with different types of relationships with different depth levels. I have a couple of friends I can be very open and deep with, and they love and accept me for who I am, but I'm 53 and consider myself lucky. Understanding the other types, even from a basic level can help because you then start to see how others are just being themselves as well...at that stage of their journey. They have their own strengths that we don't have. We were able to cultivate our relationships over decades.
Now that I have children, one typed INFJ, another ENTP, I can definitely appreciate the differences and the growth I've gone through (and still am, especially with my ENTP!). Time and patience can be a game changer with us INFJs I think. I joined an INFJ meetup and we meet online and in person for those in the area. However, two of my closest friends are from childhood and not INFJs, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I went through a huge "mid-life reevaluation" in my 40s, and I try to avoid major ego shifting unless someone is trying to hurt others. The one thing I would recommend is working through the INFJ Personality Hacker podcasts and maybe their course (I took it years ago). I find the podcasts are top notch and way more in-depth than what you find in these videos. Again, perhaps learn about the other types as well a bit. Dr. Dario Nardi also has a great book out that I found fascinating about the brain patterns they are finding with the types. Have a great day from another person with INFJ preferences! ;)
www.amazon.com/Decode-Your-Personality-Myers-Briggs-Brain-Based/dp/B0CMJ5W5DX/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1XAQQ0V7GB8BX&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.YgV6rNQ_s8f2NR1Q-U0ohngflbWx9zPT82aSL89v799e0J9Em7a1l_fbjUo3O-QndRiuW5Z09-BmhKcqM7eM5XBEQkEPJ4Akg7m4QQWOHbCD5frZiBwym0kpaOdEfkSFgkQw6D6MGFJ3AqP_KzzGzrfzj4G2x8On5QBo7lQj97BAm1KQs5DQCl_5RgJNkznwksorxi3j9pNpUGI-NVa7_WgLA1-QcZk7jaq0UXbOjj4.8bKI3zQXS4QtgWFhkTouJFwG-1kcZjg3LaLKNNPMZns&dib_tag=se&keywords=dario+nardi&qid=1734061140&sprefix=dario+nardi%2Caps%2C445&sr=8-1
@@brendagervais thanks for the reply, only an infj can put so much effort to help a stranger :)
i get what you are saying about different depth levels. and the part about them being themselves, at that stage of life. my take home message is not to be so rigid with my thought process and not to put people in boxes. thanks again!
Yes. People always seem to have a problem with me.
At the end of the day, I only feel good when I’m alone.
Infj here , breaking egos & telling truth
*being told I’m rude / selfish / cold once I got my boundaries in check
I find this so relatable
Story of my life right there.
And to those who said those things to me: I don't care 🖕🏻😂😂😂
I say things that I think will help other people, but they just get offended.
They hate the truth, in time it helps them, it's selfless work
Word to everything
I have been described as a lightning rod. Everyone around me gets zapped. It isn’t out of malice. I am truly trying to improve the ish in the world. The lack of honesty is abhorrent and I fear one day the act of asking questions will get me unalived. People prefer self delusion and pain.
Same literally, I've had attempts on my life , I believe I'm chosen because of miracles that I'm alive ,intuition has been God's mechanism
Telling inconvenient truths is better than telling people convenient lies
@ many people would rather be lied to… hence our current government situation… 🤔😿
@@ppeterson6303 I hear that, even when they know deep down they still stay the same, staying in their egotistical bubble wrapped up in anti social media.
@ most people aren’t interested in growth. They figure they can “learn it after they are dead” then ask forgiveness based on ignorance. My arguments for that “logic” are: 1. What if God is smarter than that? , 2. What if there is no god and you return as a poo eating worm based on your refusal to see reality?
There are too many ifs for me not to question everything in my desire to be as connected as possible NOW. 🤷♀️ I figure if there is a god, I have a better chance of wheedling my way out of a flaming eternity based on pursuit of truth than they do based on pursuit of ignorance…🤷♀️
If not and “heaven” is full of a bunch of ignorant idiots, I prefer the other.😜
In our sensitive society INFJs are needed to tell it like it is. It is crazy how people pour gas all over us but get all wide eye when we light the match. 🔥Mind you that we are foreigners in an Extraverted society but we manage, we always do.
@@joesoap8125 Exactly, although half, this world was built to be and extraverted society not introverted.
My psychologist brought this to my attention; my loss of identity. I cried when I learned my personality type.
Once I embarked on my healing journey with new information, I had to cut out many relationships in order to create clear boundaries and stay true to myself.
That’s the secret remove toxic people
Just began my healing journey
Everything in this video is spot on with my personality. 😮💨
All of this is my identity...we are good therapists we walk alone we understand this. Do what you do naturally. Make them pay for your services
If they don't like you they can do one.
I think i do this to my coworkers without even trying
YOU MUST KNOW WHERE YOU STOP AND THE WORLD BEGINS
- Jenny Holzer, Truisms
I would argue that our Ti is the grounding force of our other cognitive functions.
The chameleon effect is because our high emotional intelligence, the prerequisite for being a counselor type, augments a high social IQ, a social agility, and since we are anti-cultists, and suspicious of blanketed conformity, our Ti gives us a strong sense of our authenticity. So, that social agility, that chameleon effect, doesn't makes us lose ourselves in different social settings. After all, INFJs are also known as lone wolves, meaning we break away from a group mentality and are very independent and comfortable being ourselves.
As an INFJ, "authenticity" is our driving force thru life.
Our Ti also allows us not to lose ourselves when we absorb other people's emotions. Sure, I can feel what a person is feeling, but then I can quickly detach my Fe using my Ti to analyze objectively on what's really going on, reading between the lines, intuitive ah-ha, (how a counselor is so affective, psychoanalyzing, but for us INFJs, it's second nature...like breathing), and then I can look away and do that again with another stranger, and so forth and so on... I can also turn it off and on at will (absorbing others emotions)...using my Ti. I rarely lose my sense of who I am, unless I am in a Ni-Ti loop.
When a Mother Teresa, or a Martin Luther King Jr, or another INFJ like Jesus is in a room full of people, they are very much solid in their character, what you see is what you get, people in that room knows exactly who they are, they just all happen to own a grace, a social agility to be able to connect on deep level to whomever they want to connect with in that room. It just "happens" that our Fe can match people's energy and attitudes to build a rapport with them.
The only people that have a problem with me are the narcissists because I am an anti-cultists.
Sirphil13. Everything you said is so true! Most of this video was correct, but the chameleon part was way off. We know EXACTLY who we are. Always. Never veer from our authentic true self.
@@ScatpackSRT6.4 when we are raised with certain types of childhood trauma, we can be late bloomers. Many INFJ’s describe this lack of self until we develop it later in life. Like, the kernel was there, but we aren’t connected to it until we somewhat heal and find ourselves.
Certainly not all INFJ’s, but a large enough number of us to be a common experience. And because of how we cope (blend in using Fe and strong observation), we are very effective at obscuring our true selves until we can have the safety and time to re-parent this delayed (stunted) part of our development.
I married an INTP (Ti lead) and I find his Ti so comforting and consistent. It was not until after we were married several years to feel safe enough to heal. It was not a logical choice. At certain distinct events (or rather, steady NON-dramatic life in emotional safety), my body felt safe and breakthroughs came. I had been in therapy but currently was not, so it truely was timing set by my body. 🥲❤
As an INFJ, I feel that the OP is spot on in saying our Ti is key to that steadiness. Growing up in a chaotic, emotionally immature ESFx house, I clung to my Ti like a life raft! And getting away from living with those people was essential for me to finally “meet myself” and grow.
I will speak the truth, about myself, about others, about the reality of obstacles and situations. Egos crumble like dust. Bridges burn. I forge new ones, I walk alone, and I will not be impeded. Got ignorant, threatened mfs gangstalking😂
Same ,working with God
Yes- ENFJ Super Empath too🙌💯😇🙏We are great team!!!!!!
Yes, I am ready.
Thanks this was helpful
Glad to hear!
Some occupations teach observational skills such as EMT and Nursing.
Apparently, every ego I’ve ever supported in my life is now collapsing. If I trust TH-cam. And TH-cam’s never let me wrong.
Accidental ? Maybe when I was younger, now if I have suffer through some bullshitter that annoys me I tend to confront them and then call them out in public. I love watching liars squirm.
For me, it's true. However, I often have misinterpretations of my intuitions. In addition, I tend to see the bad sides of human nature.
I've been called a wizard
it's not meant to hurt it's meant to help.... its for the ones that can hear it, it was always to deaf man's ears...
This isn't true of me at all. I always tend to be a people pleaser, see the best in people, and am a terrible judge of character. Ive taken the test several times and it always comes out INFJ. I share so many of those traits. Wish I had this superpower.
Hey why you said chameleon without knowing others thought . We are not in ego .
Ppl these days will not listen to anything logical. It's not worth the effort. That being said I do and say what I want and I don't care who gets offended. The only person that matters that likes me or doesn't like me is the one looking back in the mirror.
Egotistical, arrogant, conceited, weaponize humor, cold, dead inside, unfriendly, chauvinistic, "Paul Bunion" (whatever that person meant)...
When I reflect I don't feel I identify with those traits. I'd say I work and watch to not be them. You can't really miss yourself putting others down and pumping yourself up all the time.
I hardly speak, but every time I do... it seems like fireworks are going off for everyone else.
If you're a strong INFJ....meaning your archetype might be Sigma.... that differentiating is easier than it seems.... Learn where/when to mitigate your concerns for someone else. They need a therapist...not you.
Hahahaha 😃. To be honest.. 😡 I'm only trying to help 😊
Personality types are really dumb, look into their origin. You can take the test at different times and come up with different things depending on how you feel. Continue your education guys, humans love putting things in categories.
The only dump thing about this statement is that as you continue to take this thing, call the test of life. You will eventually realize that everything about you will change at different times. Such as your emotional state, skin color, hair color, height, weight,and even your health etc, but at the end of the day, ones default self will always remain consistent, skin is skin no matter what color it may changes to at any particular time. MBTI is like a default setting, so if you can take that test and constantly come up with a different type, you might need to check out your processing system, bro. You don't know who you are yet, because you chance your mind too much! ( INFJ )🤷🏿♂️