i suffer from PTSD. the smell of death follows me constantly. i hear screams whenever i close my eyes. i can say that withiut a doubt that pondering on your feelings is not always healthy. sometimes we need to eliminate the pointless suffering in our lives and put ourselves into a more positive environment, or state of thought. i know it can be difficult. i have wanted to end my life many times before and the more i indulge into my feelings the worst it gets. i feel at best when i make myself busy and set lots of goals. as soon as you think abiut something thats bringing up these emotions, remind yourself that its just an emotion. its not real. its your bodys reaction to the negative influences. the dark side is addictive, but so is the light! go to the light. your a beautiful, smart, well spoken, very smart woman! keep your head up and don't let your emotions get the best of you. things can alter our hormones and wha-bam depression. work on sleep, diet, exercise and most of all, positivity!
+Lil Stack'n You hit the nail on the head. I know better than to let my thoughts and feelings run freely- I do my best not to think about certain things but the difficulty comes when outside influences don't understand how this works. Thank you for your positive words of encouragement. I woke this morning feeling much better. I can still feel the "demon on my shoulder" but I'm stronger than I was yesterday.
My first CO, Capt John C Ruff once said that a year from now, we will look back on what is happening now and laugh. May you have love and laughter in the future.
Hello, awww sorry to hear your not having one of your better days but as you wrote in the description don't ever give up. You will be feeling better soon, and your going to be wearing that gorgeous smile and looking as good as gold. With you being away for a week, and then coming back you will be feeling mixed emotions. And it sounds like things are pretty tough right now. It's good that you are able to open up about it and from what I read and see here, you have a good support. It seems a lot of can relate to what your saying and it might have felt like earlier there was a little devil on your shoulder, but you have 2 shoulders and on the other one there was your husband, your kids, anyone in connection with you and then your hundreds of youtube subscribers saying "you're awesome". That's the important voice, and the one that's always going to be there for you. ps. Ohhh. I heard you mention my username. I'm a guy as you weren't sure. And thanks, was actually pretty cool hearing that as it was a total surprise. Well 11.10pm, I have a tiny bit of a cold so time to call it a night. Winter here sucks! goodnight.
You are a beautiful person Kristy, remember this always!! The great thing about all of your feelings and emotions right now is that you recognize it for what it is, a passing faze! Light is at the end of that tunnel weather it be tomorrow or the day after, but you do realize yourself that it will soon. Don't force yourself to eat, try just to have a little. A little is better than nothing at all, but sometimes it is good to have a fasting day or two, I do it and I know others that do it too. One or two days fasting never hurt anyone, but if it goes on longer than that as you know it is then a problem. I think that Erick is doing great, trying to understand what you are going through Kristy and I also believe that if he didn't want to help support you and be there when he can and listen and try and learn ways of understanding you, he would have packed up and started running, way back when! But hey, he is still there Kristy, that is love in the highest degree I believe. What a beautiful person that he is too. I am no counselor or psychologist Kristy, I am just a guy that's been where you are and at times still go there again myself. You don't have to read what I write or take anything I say onboard, that is not my reason for saying things to you, it is just something for you to ponder over at will, from one that has been there and survived to be able to write what I do, all in the hope that maybe there might just be a very small something in what I say, that may either help you or maybe make you feel a little better. The greatness is though Kristy, you are aware of what is going on and know it wont last forever!!! That is so awesome and something that I lacked at those times in my life. I wish you a good rest of the day and hope that I see your new video up here again very soon. I always look forward to your videos, whether you are talking about good times or bad. Take care mate and hang in there just as your doing, talk again soon. ATB to you, Arty
+Michelle Cardell Thanks Shell- I know you're going through a lot and sometimes I really wish you me and Lauren and Leslie could all hang out. I know I may not show it, but I like you guys and we have so much in common- I've just never been good about being sociable and I wish I was. I think about all of you quite often and I'm always wondering how you're doing. I wanted to meet up with you guys for Halloween- I thought it'd be nice. Hoping we'll see you guys for Thanksgiving though.
cuts and pills are never the right way to go its a difficult thing but were are here even if its thousands of miles away . I went through a food problem years ago and not dated for months I just had drinks soups I went so thin I near went in hospital . has I always says there's people out there to help I talk to my therapist and helps lot because there someone new
Hey girl you got to be strong if i tell you the problems of my life i tell you it is really scary but i don't think not a bit off them i know that the money is one off the problem but i think you're husbend shoud not put you in that place insted he shoud be looking for a way for you to get a better incom but any way its good to let what you feel out off you sorry for my inglish but keep it up dont let money or other things break you up
Hi Ive been thinking of up& driving to Oregon from Wisconsin..because of the lack of opportunity job wise and bc the only ones that "love me" in WI couldn't care less if I died again really. How many times did you try to communicate with your loved ones b4 you realized you simply couldn't communicate? Do you think you tried enough, meaning instead of being the gypsy couldn't you apply for shit jobs near you b4 moving?( I've done this but only thing i got out of it was another lesson)-but i can say i tried/did that.. My question: if you did try ( i have for 20 years) are you glad that you took off? where's your destination? where are you going to start? sending inspiration to you because ive been thinking of doing the same so i hope to see your reply!
i suffer from PTSD. the smell of death follows me constantly. i hear screams whenever i close my eyes. i can say that withiut a doubt that pondering on your feelings is not always healthy. sometimes we need to eliminate the pointless suffering in our lives and put ourselves into a more positive environment, or state of thought. i know it can be difficult. i have wanted to end my life many times before and the more i indulge into my feelings the worst it gets. i feel at best when i make myself busy and set lots of goals. as soon as you think abiut something thats bringing up these emotions, remind yourself that its just an emotion. its not real. its your bodys reaction to the negative influences. the dark side is addictive, but so is the light! go to the light. your a beautiful, smart, well spoken, very smart woman! keep your head up and don't let your emotions get the best of you. things can alter our hormones and wha-bam depression. work on sleep, diet, exercise and most of all, positivity!
+Lil Stack'n You hit the nail on the head. I know better than to let my thoughts and feelings run freely- I do my best not to think about certain things but the difficulty comes when outside influences don't understand how this works. Thank you for your positive words of encouragement. I woke this morning feeling much better. I can still feel the "demon on my shoulder" but I'm stronger than I was yesterday.
My first CO, Capt John C Ruff once said that a year from now, we will look back on what is happening now and laugh. May you have love and laughter in the future.
+floydefisher Thank you.
Hello, awww sorry to hear your not having one of your better days but as you wrote in the description don't ever give up. You will be feeling better soon, and your going to be wearing that gorgeous smile and looking as good as gold.
With you being away for a week, and then coming back you will be feeling mixed emotions. And it sounds like things are pretty tough right now. It's good that you are able to open up about it and from what I read and see here, you have a good support. It seems a lot of can relate to what your saying and it might have felt like earlier there was a little devil on your shoulder, but you have 2 shoulders and on the other one there was your husband, your kids, anyone in connection with you and then your hundreds of youtube subscribers saying "you're awesome". That's the important voice, and the one that's always going to be there for you.
ps. Ohhh. I heard you mention my username. I'm a guy as you weren't sure. And thanks, was actually pretty cool hearing that as it was a total surprise. Well 11.10pm, I have a tiny bit of a cold so time to call it a night. Winter here sucks! goodnight.
Ty for your videos
+XVI Hello Thank you for watching and I'm glad they help :)
Hang in there Kristy... the darkness will pass. I think you contribute a lot driving Eric around. Also you look very pretty today 💙
+Pd Ballerina Thank you. I feel a bit better this morning :)
You are a beautiful person Kristy, remember this always!! The great thing about all of your feelings and emotions right now is that you recognize it for what it is, a passing faze! Light is at the end of that tunnel weather it be tomorrow or the day after, but you do realize yourself that it will soon. Don't force yourself to eat, try just to have a little. A little is better than nothing at all, but sometimes it is good to have a fasting day or two, I do it and I know others that do it too. One or two days fasting never hurt anyone, but if it goes on longer than that as you know it is then a problem. I think that Erick is doing great, trying to understand what you are going through Kristy and I also believe that if he didn't want to help support you and be there when he can and listen and try and learn ways of understanding you, he would have packed up and started running, way back when! But hey, he is still there Kristy, that is love in the highest degree I believe. What a beautiful person that he is too. I am no counselor or psychologist Kristy, I am just a guy that's been where you are and at times still go there again myself. You don't have to read what I write or take anything I say onboard, that is not my reason for saying things to you, it is just something for you to ponder over at will, from one that has been there and survived to be able to write what I do, all in the hope that maybe there might just be a very small something in what I say, that may either help you or maybe make you feel a little better. The greatness is though Kristy, you are aware of what is going on and know it wont last forever!!! That is so awesome and something that I lacked at those times in my life. I wish you a good rest of the day and hope that I see your new video up here again very soon. I always look forward to your videos, whether you are talking about good times or bad. Take care mate and hang in there just as your doing, talk again soon. ATB to you, Arty
Kristi we have alot of the same issues!! I'm going threw alot of the same feeling and emotions. I'm always here if you wanna talk. love you!!
+Michelle Cardell Thanks Shell- I know you're going through a lot and sometimes I really wish you me and Lauren and Leslie could all hang out. I know I may not show it, but I like you guys and we have so much in common- I've just never been good about being sociable and I wish I was. I think about all of you quite often and I'm always wondering how you're doing. I wanted to meet up with you guys for Halloween- I thought it'd be nice. Hoping we'll see you guys for Thanksgiving though.
*hugs*
+HolyOrderofDragons :)
cuts and pills are never the right way to go its a difficult thing but were are here even if its thousands of miles away . I went through a food problem years ago and not dated for months I just had drinks soups I went so thin I near went in hospital . has I always says there's people out there to help I talk to my therapist and helps lot because there someone new
Hey girl you got to be strong if i tell you the problems of my life i tell you it is really scary but i don't think not a bit off them i know that the money is one off the problem but i think you're husbend shoud not put you in that place insted he shoud be looking for a way for you to get a better incom but any way its good to let what you feel out off you sorry for my inglish but keep it up dont let money or other things break you up
+Recicladora Del Sur Pinto Thank you :)
Hi Ive been thinking of up& driving to Oregon from Wisconsin..because of the lack of opportunity job wise and bc the only ones that "love me" in WI couldn't care less if I died again really. How many times did you try to communicate with your loved ones b4 you realized you simply couldn't communicate? Do you think you tried enough, meaning instead of being the gypsy couldn't you apply for shit jobs near you b4 moving?( I've done this but only thing i got out of it was another lesson)-but i can say i tried/did that.. My question: if you did try ( i have for 20 years) are you glad that you took off? where's your destination? where are you going to start? sending inspiration to you because ive been thinking of doing the same so i hope to see your reply!
:)
you need some weed to smoke!!