One thing I try to balance is providing details but limiting them to what my POV character would perceive and using words consistent with that character's voice.
#1 thing I hate about character descriptions of their physical attributes is when the author doesn't give them until several paragraphs AFTER you've already formed a subconscious picture totally at odds with what the author finally reveals.
Yeah, we should read the important details AEAP (As Early As Possible). E.g., we don't want to picture Tyrion Lannister as a giant, then find out he's "the imp." It's important to the plot (his behavior and his treatment by his family).
How i describe my characters in certain scenes is through dialog, "I was expecting a more.. louder personality" may be a way to describe your main characters voice, just an example. Its a 1st person present tense Horror/Fantasy, so i wanted a way of describing the character without it being the typical "I glanced upon the mirror" approach. I also describe my character through how the word interacts with him, "My beard dampens in the morning mist" or something along those lines. For a unique/specific detail about my main character is his injury burns along his body, not burn marks from a fire, but burn marks from something else within the world.
I love the dialogue description because when you do it well, you're describing both the speaker and the person described. And your character's burn has me curious about what caused it--that's a nice piece of worldbuilding right there
A way I found to get around the main character just describing himself (first person POV) was to have him describe his father who happened to appear in the first chapter. He described him and noted the things they had in common and where they differed.
I've read a lot about character description over the last 12 months. Mainly too much Vs too little. Reader demography and genera of the book have something to with do that as well. Female readers tend to want more description, especially on how the character is dressed. This is often strong indicator of the personality of the character being described. Guys don't need (or don't pick up on) this 'visual' queue so much and tend to judge the personality of the character by their actions and the 'tone' of their character voice. These are obviously generalities and a bit of hand waving on my part but it is an observation I've made after reading a lot of comments by other authors who struggle with character description. Dribbling out description over too long a period (some chapters) has the danger of the reader forming a picture of your hero in their mind's eye early in the story and then you come in and throw that mental image out the window with something left field. I've taken the approach of thinking about what is plot relevant and what's not. The specific clothing worn and eye colour are very relevant in my story but I've only mentioned his hair being tied up in a pony tail to keep it out of his eyes. The hair colour is just not mentioned at all. Keep the videos coming Brandon - great topics and good listening.
Great post. I actually included some info on genre/reader preferences in my notes for this video, but I ended up cutting it in the interest of time. One particularly valuable nugget came from, believe it or not, Twilight. Bella the main character is given a bare bones description: "My mom looks like me, except with short hair and laugh lines." You might think this is lazy writing, but it actually works brilliantly because pretty much any teenage girl on the planet can relate to thing and see themselves as the main character. Now that's not going to work for every book (some readers want characters who look/act nothing like them), but depending on your audience, it could play a huge factor in getting the reader involved.
I find that sprinkling in descriptions can also confuse less attentive readers, as they miss the whole picture, but for the rest of the readers, as long as the sprinkling is done fairly quickly, works very well to give their appearance in a natural, authentic way without the flat checklist of appearances.
Rather than give a description of my female protagonist, my male lead (who grew up in the 1920s) says she resembles Mabel Normand (his favorite actress); "Same long wavy dark hair and big brown eyes." It is one of the reasons he is attracted to her. (For readers who aren't familiar with Miss Normand - there's always the Internet!!!) :)
That's a great way to do triple-duty with your character description. You establish her appearance, his taste in women, AND the time period. Best of luck with your story!
So. How many more times your reader has to look the internets so to read your cool story? Actually this is the worst decision to describe a character - to say that the description is somewhere out there. May be you just include a url into your book.
@@ellennewth6305 And what if he doesn't? What if he reads this in 23 century when global dictatorship conquered the world and internet is destroyed and forbidden? A book must be solid, it must have all of its content right inside of it.
@@Stanser_Lagrangehow relevant is the photographic description to understand the story? As a reader I would get the impression that the male protagonist finds the female one attractive as she reminds him a celebrity crush.
The way i did it was she minipulated a dude for bread in the beginning and the dudes friend said did you just let that chick with the scarf convince you to give a pile of bread for nothing?are you stupid!?
If there is one specific detail about the main character in my WIP, its that he keeps ending up in trouble - which he does manage to resolve. Each trouble he encounters is resolved through teamwork.
My main character Bill grew up on a dust bowl farm, and he’s very shy and insecure. He speaks in a plain, simple way, and uses a lot of “um” and “uh” in his dialogue. He has a lot of ellipsis in his sentences too. This helps his dialogue stand out, as most of the other characters in the story are confident and wealthy city people.
Lot's of great input here, Brandon. Great examples from Hunger Games and Carrie as well. Personally, I like to take somewhat of a Shakespearean approach to character descriptions. Shakespeare often does not get into the details of what a character looks like and there's some great value to that. It allows the reader liberty to imagine the character for themselves and even allows for a greater variety of people, race included, to depict the character. Unless there are features that are key for the story or expressing a character's personality, I'd say to keep the descriptions to a minimum and when you do describe them, describe them in action, or in emotion, or in their effect on other people. "Gathering up his flowing blonde hair into a casual ponytail, he laced up his trainers and slipped on a snug tank top." "Their eyes locked, her piercing eyes gazing into his soul." "His eyes traced every delicate detail on her face, each freckle receiving his rapt attention." Character descriptions are less about imagining exactly what the character looks like and more about expressing the character by their demeanor, preferences, and how they're perceived by others. Instead of piecing together a mental photo of the character they're now brought to life by emphasizing the character's personality. There's also a case to be made here about the modern dialogue about racial diversity in stories. Personally, I'm not a fan of changing a character's race just for the sake of diversity, but as long as the core of character shines through, it doesn't matter what race they are. Of course, there are exceptions to this. Cultural folklore or myths-Lord of the Rings vs. Arabian Nights. Regional stories-unless the story is about a stranger in a strange land or about being a minority, your average character in Finland is going to differ from your average character in Kenya. Historical stories-The Revolutionary War vs. The Battle of Red Cliffs. And then of course, stories that explore racial and minority issues. Ask yourself the question, "How important is it for this character to have X feature? How is that feature relevant to the story? What does that feature express to the audience?" For me, often it comes down to is personal preference. I'm attracted to red hair, green eyes, and a heart-shaped face so I'm more likely to use those traits in describing an attractive woman. Then there's how that feature is stylized. I have a character whose hair is shaved on one side, loose on the other, and the excess pulled into a top know-a clear depiction that the character leans toward a punkish attitude. Are the features consistent with the character's role or day job? A corporate executive is more likely to be well groomed. A retired drill sergeant is more likely to have close cropped hair and mechanical movements. Etc. At the end of the day, character descriptions should be leveraged to enhance the character's persona and personality instead of providing their literal appearance.
Well I’m working on my main guy and he’s a young-ish 20’s noble that’s got little to no real chance of becoming king he’s got brothers and a sister, he is ambushed well backstabbed by his brothers who want to get rid of him for multiple reasons, he winds up being attacked by a decent sized wolf pack and the pack leader who by all rites should have been replaced years ago, so he fights the pack managing to survive with claw marks on his back and running down his right side of his face as well as a bite from the pack leader that he dew to adrenaline and being somewhat trained in combat which he wound up paying more attention to then his other siblings, he kills off this larger aged wolf. The night after the fight he has this horrifying nightmare were he is in a field and surrounded by millions if not billions of large black wolves and the only thing he can do is fight he is surrounded. After a while it’s day time and he’s seems closer to the castle he and his brothers left by carriage. As he’s getting closer he starts to notice there’s this odd and horrible taste in his mouth he try’s to get it out but all that dose is red blood though he doesn’t feel any pooling in his mouth must be something else’s or someone else’s…later on the sight of wolves terrify him bringing back the memories of his fight for survival against the wolf pack and his subsequent recurring nightmares were he wakes with the taste of stale copper. After a while he puts two and two together and figures out his situation and then realizing that he personifies the very apex of his deepest fear and he loathes and damn near hates himself fo causing such horrific fear and judging from what he tastes in the mornings deaths. That’s something I’ve got in my brain box also he becomes a really good cook to make the taste be a bad morning brevity.
Awesome--dark stuff! And that nightmare with the countless wolves is a great image. Maybe consider making it real somehow instead of just a dream? Just a thought. Best of luck with the writing
4:59 I agree. For me, I give few details at a time. I start with the noticeable ones for readers to remember (hair, hair style, eye color) then overtime I drop more description in bits and pieces. I treat character description as a discovery in a way
Prematurely gray side burns, indicative of many things. (Regarding The Hunger Games, I was greatly impressed by how Collins painted vivid scenes, revealed characters, and introduced an entire alternate world, with such parsimony!)
10:25 One thing I have for my main character is that he is a violent alcoholic. He is also in a dead end job, with two 'friends' he can't stand, with the older of the two, having a bad influence on him in his youth, living behind a uesless, violent alcoholic we see now. I know it's not much, but it's a working process.
My main character wears his hair super short and ragged- cut haphazardly- just to keep it out of the way, but every time he sees it he regrets cutting it, remembering that his mother loved how soft and lovely his hair was when he wore it long.
The character from my current writing project is someone who is alienated from themselves and their looks. The prologue itself describes how they are stuck in the past and mental health problems. While the first chapter shows a change in their situation and the first time they see themselves in centuries. And they don't recognize the person in the mirror. It doesn't make them feel any particular way because as established in the prologue what is and isn't, is of no importance. What he prefers and shows in the first chapter is being an efficient tool. So he changes his appearance to match the expectation he has of himself. I think I used some common tropes in the writing business. But I personally felt that it would help to give people an idea of who he is as a person. Someone stuck in the past, with ptsd and flashbacks who only values perfection and efficiency and has no specific sense of self or a moral compass. I am still thinking on the build up and the reactions of those around him. And I think personally people would freak out if someone has entirely stopped feeling and doesn't express anything unless they're suddenly triggered and do something unexpected. And mostly I wanted to try and figure out how to write a character that comes over as unfeeling while in reality they just bottle everything up because they've given up on themselves and the world. I am also thinking of toying with the pacing itself because how you read it can say a lot about the character's perception of the events too. I am even thinking of making specifically odd dialogue because the MC doesn't remember the last human interaction they had and they just go in blind.
Today after watching castlevania i wanted to figure out how to subvert expectations and bend the rules.i noticed in castlevania it does it allot and it works really well.
Yeah the Netflix series is awesome. How far are you? And what specific subversions are you thinking about? I've only seen Seasons 1-3 btw, so please hold off on any S4 spoilers if you're that far.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty the biggest subversion was i expected a grand battle at the end of season 2 and it to be a satisfying end where you were thinking of how can it possibly continue if the goal was accomplished.it made me nearly forget about specific characters and i didnt expect it to be so sad.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty i know its really good.anyeays my school is telling me to read a script on something called mid summer nights dream.i could not understand it so i watched the movie my mom gave me and it gave the same energy as a fever dream and i still couldnt understand it.
I love your point about what the POV character notices tells us a lot about that character. As much as I loved Robert Jordan (my favorite author of all time -- until Sanderson took that spot in my heart), it drove me crazy that Jordan spent so much time detailing the clothing people were wearing when the POV character wouldn't have noticed those details at all.
Question: Is it possible to finish off the description of my main character in the second chapter? I see a lot of people saying it must be completely fleshed out in the first, but I have a great scene in chapter 2 that works well for finishing the description naturally.
If it comes off naturally, then go for it. Sometimes authors will sprinkle a character description over the course of the opening scenes/chapters, so as long as you don't throw off the reader too much by waiting, you're good
I get that I got a mental description of my character in the prologue while a physical follows up in the first proper chapter. And I reveal their appearance by them actually looking in a mirror and not recognizing themselves. Before deciding to change it all to go back to their ideal. Their mental state is unstable, PTSD episodes are normal and a general out of body experience. While their outward behaviour is that of a perfect efficient tool. So their looks have to match the perfect efficient tool. Not having that was just a problem. And then further along the story you will get more details on what happened, why and what their life is like now and what they're to work towards. The interactions with new surroundings will slowly pull him out of his head and away from the past but it will uncover all the emotions he never shows.
The pre amble is that my story is set 1,000 ish years in the future and there is a group of people called Tin Bones. They were cyborg super soldiers but their organic bits died so they are robots filled with bones that remember being people. One of my main characters who is a Tin Bone is Hot Rod Susie. I describe her: she hid her crumbling bones under steel, glass and polyester cloth. It was as if a 1950’s pinup model was made out of the Buick Roadster she posed atop. Just found your channel and have been watching your vids before and/or after writing sessions.
In my project I notice that I have very precise descriptions of how my characters look like, but most of those details are unimportant to the story, those that further the scene: “she looks at he speaks cautivated by his dimples”, “the boy can barely move John's 200 lb body”. (Not actual examples.) The same about their detailed backgrounds and motivations. Of course, I would like to put everything in my mind and my notes in the final product, but I'm willing to trim if that doesn't add much.
It is the dawn of technology in my fantasy story and the main character wears goggles with jade colored lens that match her eyes, white boots with black stains, and the majority of the time she carries a scent with a mixture of brass and oil. During her trip to school, she carries two books, one about machines and the other whatever hot new romance novel happens to be popular that week. She likes to work with machines and yearns for a love out of her reach.
I prefer giving a brief description, then spreading other details out as it’s more natural to mention them. For instance, my main character is a fire magic user whose skin is always unusually warm. But she’s also invulnerable to heat/cold and can’t sense temperature at all - from her perspective dry ice, molten steel, or her own skin all feel the same temperature. So, her skin temperature isn’t something that would come up naturally in her initial description, where she’s the viewpoint character. It either has to wait until a point where it would be natural for another character to bring it up or until the POV character changes.
Thanks Brandon this really helped me! The characteristic I'm going to apply it to on my MC is this: Very first scene in the book, he knocks his sword off the wall, and I comment on it being dusty. But mostly this was because I knew I needed there to be some reference to his sword early on. Instead, I'm going to put the sword under the bed and he falls and sees it. Reason being, that was his old life, and he's moved on... No actual description of the MC but indirectly tells us a lot.
my hero vampire is described as having auburn hair which makes him stand out from everyone else cause they have black hair except for the master who's hair is a silver white color
I have 4 main characters in a story I am writing. Watching this, I thought of a small mannerism for two of them. For one of them, he is a high ranking official within the military, and he always stands with his right foot forward and with his arms crossed in a way that allows him to grab his sword should he need it. For the other, it is smaller, but he will grab one of his wings and play with the feathers similar to how people sometimes nervously play with their hair.
*Devlin Armand, the world's finest fencer, fledgling juggler, dabbling necromancer, and full-time lifeguard at the YMCA, was, as usual, covered in brightly colored confetti. His coworkers had learned to ignore it; the last one to ask was forced to witness Devlin unhinge his jaw and swallow a live chihuahua whole. That was answer enough.*
Current WIP characters (there's two mains): 1. pale, thin, ebony black hair as straight as a plummet, small, lithe, can move as quietly as a ghost, cute, good at drawing, impulsive. 2: large, furry, round ears, golden-brown with dark spots, doglike head, heavy, brave, great sense of smell, teasing, great at fighting, loyal to a fault, protective. Just what I could remember at the moment. I try to describe only what the POV character can see and thinks about. Aka, they don't describe themselves, but each other.
Do you have any advice on how to describe someone who is completely average? Someone who does not believe in the supernatural, has no special skills, and could, in theory, just as easily be the reader or any one of a million other people? That IS, in fact, my character's main trait; that he is nobody special, whom has had nothing special happen to him, and that all his decisions have been dictated (up till then) by making the 'smart', the safe, choice. (A.i. "He loved his wife... if not passionately, then at least very sensibly.")
The Lies of Locke Lamora has a great description of how the main character Locke looks average and funny enough, it's meant to be a positive thing because he looks like he can blend into a crowd and people don't remember his face when he dresses up as characters for his heists etc. He doesn't look too handsome or ugly, not too tall not to short, no decent build but not skinny either etc. So if I remember correctly they described him by what he's not and then pointed out why that was important for the story. Scott Lynch does a great job describing characters in general.
@@samaelkrieg Lies of Locke Lamora is great, and another that came to mind is The Dead Zone by Stephen King. The main character's name is Johnny Smith (John Smith = super generic name) and he's a pretty average guy overall.
This is late but I think a picture can be painted just be explaining how he lives. A reader will always draw up their own image in their mind based on things like name, occupation, vocal cadence, or just what they're doing on introduction. "He walked up to the librarian" conjures a different image from "HD walked up to the trucker." A man named Bartholemew is different from a man who goes by Bart. In this case just describing a man's utterly humdrum life will default a reader to imagining a humdrum man. Unless there's an aspect of his appearance that's vital to his characyer you can get away with it. For instance, it took me a few reads of Ender's Game to realize the only description we ever got of Ender was 'dark hair'.
I'm very proud of how I written the description for my main character. Today was a big day. And Yuma’s grandparents acted like it. Yuma heard them in full fussing mode by the time he opened his single functioning eye. He took his eyepatch and a white cat ear headband from his desk and put them on. He refused to go out without his headband on. While he wasn’t entirely sure why, he felt like wearing it made him closer to his feline friends. It also had the benefit of keeping his long hair from obstructing his already limited vision, something he hadn’t even thought about in years. He noticed his grandparents had put a suit ready for him. Chuckling, he went past them to grab his usual outfit from his closet: Black pants and a black hoodie with a green silhouette of a cat. Then he went out of his room. Kameko was there waiting for him. Yuma suspected that the calico cat wasn’t allowed into his room to prevent his suit from getting cat hair all over it. He picked up his best friend and went to the kitchen for breakfast. In the opening paragraph I describe the most prominent features. His eyepatch, the cat ears he wears, the long black hair and the outfit he likes to wear. I also tell a little about him. He lives with his grandparents who are excited about something and he likes cats.
My main character's piercing, deep blue eyes. These eyes connect him to an ancient society of people with unusual abilities and figure into his own abilities. His older sister has these same eyes and abilities and as they grow older, appears to be his twin. He describes her and mentions their close resemblance.
I’m writing a Transformers book that combines the Micheal Bay movies and my own universe and I’m having a hard time describing how 20ft tall robots look like lol.
Harry Potter is however usually, if not always, seen on the front cover of the Harry Potter books. So it is not necessary to describe his appearance in detail. The reader already knows exactly how he looks because of the front cover. Maybe you want the reader to know exactly how the main character looks. But at the same time, you don’t want the description in the text to be too overkill. Is this something that you should consider using? Also, I have another idea to describe a character. A character making a joke where they compare the character to someone famous. For example in Better Call Saul, they compare Saul’s appearance to Kevin Costner and jokes about it. If this were a novel, this could give the reader a pretty good idea how Saul might look. Is this something that you should consider using? But probably not a good idea to keep using it over and over for several characters. You could use this method for the other senses as well, not only looks.
The moment Lorenzo met Juanita at the jail, he knew how he would defend her. She was a petite Latina in her mid-forties but appeared older. She looked up at him with the vacant eyes of a woman worn down by years of abuse. Her face was deeply lined, dark circles rimmed her eyes, her hair was thin and prematurely grey. She couldn't have weighed more than 90 lbs. He recognized his mother in her. AND He was a smidge under six feet tall with a build like a seriously overcooked French fry. Lorenzo found it difficult not to stare at his prominent Adam’s apple as it shifted side to side across his throat whenever he spoke. One of his eyebrows and both his earlobes were pierced. His vision was 20/20, but he owned four pairs of contact lenses, each a different color. Occasionally, he tied his dark blond shoulder-length hair into a ponytail; the matching goatee was perfectly trimmed. AND In front of him sat an unimpressive blob of a man. Roughly fifty pounds overweight, he was wiping sweat off his forehead with a dingy handkerchief. His sports coat was too tight, revealing the presence of a shoulder holster and gun. His shirt was partially untucked, his belly ballooned over his belt, and he had a dried glob of yellow mustard in the middle of his cheap polyester tie. AND Bill’s older brother, Wilbur Carlton Reynolds, Jr., Ph.D., had taken a few days off work and driven up from The Kennedy Space Center in his olive green 1978 AMC Gremlin. He showed thirty minutes early decked out in a red and yellow checkered flannel shirt, a clip on tie from DD’s Discounts, baggy brown corduroy trousers, and brand new Nike cross trainers, purchased especially for the occasion. Tony discreetly seated him in the back row where he spent the ceremony happily mumbling to himself and running algorithms on his Mac Book Pro.
I used the part of my story where the protagonist enlists in the military to describe him in detail. He has to fill out one of those charts with hight, eye/hair color, race, notable features, ex. Then he has a medical exam where you learn things like that he has more teeth than normal, and that he’s very underweight. The protagonist is very nervous about undressing for his exam, and you learn that he’s very insecure about his appearance and avoids looking at himself in the mirror.
He isnt my main character but he's the secondary main to my main character and she first meets him in a dark wood boat on a river. She watches him climb the figurehead, a carved woman, and notes how with he could have been the brother of this carving, with his hair like thick dark vines and his hands blending into the shadows beneath the wooden ripples of her dress.
One of the stoeies im currently working on has very little description for her features. I have a solid idea of what she looks like but i completely forgot to tell it 😂
I focus more on mbti. Try to show their dom and aux cognitive functions to show internal conflict. But problem arises when two characters have same mbti
Not my character But I read about this main character who had been a funny guy who usually made jokes about himself and things he did which at first when I was reading it I thought it was normal and didn't take much focus on it but then when I actually looked deeper I realized the main character was mocking and making fun of himself to appear funny and he was revealed to usually miss the class lessons and yet he would always come befoee classes start but that day someone had asked him to go to this abandoned house with him but it was mentioned that he hated such places always talking about how it was dangerous and that you could be killed which was just seen as him being paranoid and it was said it didn't make sense since the main character wasn't someone who couldn't handle scary things and another thing was mentioned was that the main character uses sleeping pills it was mentioned off when a friend of the main character had been saying they had bad dreams and the main character gave the advice of sleeping pills and reccomended it since he was using them regardless I liked how that book gave all that information in one chapter since for me though the main character did mention all of that I didn't exactly realise what it all meant but it was more so because the first chapter didn't actually have a serious tone and so none of it was really taken seriously in that first chapter as that first chapter had gone naturally in the setting of the classroom but I personally like how it made the first chapter seem like it was more of a joke because of the interaction of the characters making it seem that way but anyways that introduction of that main character was something that I liked
It was more so because whenever something serious was mentioned in the first chapter the Characters either played it off as a joke and didn't take it seriously and then it made it look like the character themselves were joking about it too which made me think it was a joke
Also my memory isn't the best but in the second chapter the main character was said to have black hair which was like his fathers but from the main characters face they found it unpleasant and it was revealed their father wasn't around but it said he had blue eyes like his mother to where the main character had mentioned he would rather look like his mother but it was also said his build and hands were like that of someone who had done lots of outside work and it was revealed the main character had been a Gardener and had mainly grown vegetables and it was revealed that he's poor and it was also revealed the main character had an approachable sort of body language which made it easy to talk to him and he was basically the Class Clown and it was also revealed that the main character usually speaks In a Sarcastic and Confident tone but that he always loved to play things off
Honestly I really liked that main character sadly I forgot the name of the book but I always wanted to finish reading he book since the main character had actually lots of Development which was due to his past struggles and his inner problems which he hid away under him Honestly it was a Great Story of healing and self discovery
Rich descriptions are good. The thing I would caution against is building your character by simply heaping on the details, so that you've got a Frankenstein of traits without much of a core to them. Now, this is me speaking as a nobody so maybe this is bad advice, but perhaps step one is to work out how your protagonist thinks and acts; and by all means, feel free to model your protagonist on actual people you know. Do that and you'll get a whole bunch of consistent traits to emerge; and if you need to, you can introduce more. Like maybe you've got a real feel for your world-weary retired cop, your concept of him is so solid that you could do a one-man show ... but you don't know what he even looks like. Well, at that point, you can try different appearances to see what suits him. Maybe you can even see if interesting details work with the character, such as how he's missing a finger; maybe that clicks or maybe it goes against the vibe. The thing is, you can't even make that call until you've got a good feel for the character.
I think that at the beginning of the book you need short descriptions and more action, and in the middle, when the reader is already yours, you can afford larger descriptions.
The protagonist of my current WIP is never seen without her hat, her cross necklace, and her thin black notebook (both because they're iconic images to her and because they're important magic items).
New writer-I am still working on my intro, but i am trying to stay away from physical descriptions as much as possible because i am doing an Altered Carbon themed story. I am hoping it will help get some extra development in without clogging up the story with details that will change soon and are fluid. Any thoughts on viability or possible pitfalls to avoid?
Since the character will likely change from body to body, you could describe their mannerisms more. Does your character always smoke? Or maybe they notice this new body resembles their first in some ways, like eye color? Maybe they like when they have green eyes and really don’t care for blue eyes? Depends on your character and the story plot. What’s important? Were they forced into that body or did they choose it? Maybe they don’t like a tattoo that’s on this new body.
My main character likes cigarettes, and when he smokes, he always does so in a specific number of drags. One of his hands is also heavily scarred, and so he won’t use that hand to smoke with unless he’s alone.
Meanwhile, here is how Robert E Howard first described Conan (right in the prologue itself) "Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet."" I have never read a better first description of any character in any book, and it gives the essence of the entire series too
I once described a character as running his hand through a now-gone beard as a recent spell gone wrong took off all the hair on his body. A chapter or so later, another character meets up with him and is startled at the completely bald, eyebrow-less, smooth-skinned man standing before him.
I have my main character described through other people one piece at a time like his mother remarks about how his grey eyes remind her of his father, while his betrothed (it's a sci-fi fantasy) loves his curly dark brown hair and his broad build. People tend to focus on one or two physical attributes so i try and frame it the same way.
My main character is first described in the prologue, through the eyes of a journalist (Julia), who is visiting a drug lab in the jungle: "With oil-smudged fingers, the young woman pulled her too tight T-shirt over the edge of her too tight cycling shorts. During the short interview, she had done this about half a dozen times, making it six to zero in favor of her love handles. If the subject of Julia's report were why people don't buy clothes in the right size and maybe even in tasteful design, she might have had some information to offer. But for this topic, the aspiring journalist wouldn't have had to leave her university campus at all. ... Her interviewee seemed cheerful and praised country life. Crime? That existed in the city, where gangs sucked the blood out of people, but here, everything was peaceful. She mentioned that she had to fix the satellite dish later so that people here could watch TV again tonight. She didn't reveal what else she did. Julia wasn't allowed to peek into the actual drug lab, even though there were probably no major trade secrets to discover there. Her interviewee's supposedly beautiful accommodation was also off-limits, even though Julia had promised not to mention any details that could identify anyone. And names were not mentioned anyway. What was Julia giving her the banknotes for, which she discreetly tucked under the edge of her pants? She would make a sketch later, from which a more artistically talented friend could create an image for the illustration of the report. The T-shirt displayed the three ducks Huey, Dewey, and Louie, which Julia found quite silly. For the image, she would replace them with the three monkeys - see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Could a journalist allow herself artistic freedom? Not really, although most did. But this was just an illustration, and not a contentually important one. It just looked somehow funny, lightening up the serious subject. One would have to add a fourth monkey, one that held out its hand but then couldn't say anything since, unfortunately, it had seen or heard nothing." (Translated from German.)
I try to keep in mind what the POV character would pick up on. Different characters would describe themselves and other differently. In this regard, a LOT of people seriously botch 1st person present tense (narcissists all); I already hate you now, no number of cats will save your vain ass. Most people know their height and weight, but have usually have more pronounced surface thoughts about both than actual metrics, which can often lead to fuzzy humor. If I were to use myself as an example... Dating metrics claim I am of ideal height for a man, not that that's ever helped me; liars. I know I'm of ideal weight for my studly height, I read it on the internet, so it must be true; but my pot belly and manly boobs mock my studly physique. I have an MC who describes herself as almost fifteen dess, if she stands on her toes at full stretch. She describes men in varying degrees of "big"; caveat, most men she sees are of a certain sub-species, and they are rarely shorter than 18 dess, so when she meets a normal human of less than, he is "not big." Keep in mind, she is not a child, she is a grown woman.
Hey Brandon, I have a question for ya. I'm writing a light novel that will have a few illustrations. So my question is this. My important characters get an illustration when they first appear. So do I still need to be descriptive about thier appearance since the reader will get to actually see what they look like in the illustration? Thank you for your time, your content has really helped me out.
My protagonist is an ´uneducated´mariner who has mastered the ability to control a ship on any ocean he encounters. He´s in the public domain, but he thinks he´s as mortal as you and I are. One day, he has to conquer the fear of what being 10 years old is like, and he has to ACTUALLY go and be educated to become a sailor and later on a captain. He´s public domain and he worships Allah. Once he does conquer this fear, he slowly progresses and becomes able to master other fears he had never thought about before. He is like a boyscout trainer, but he is not a boyscout. Like Puppet master, I describe my characters through dialog, but stick to 12 characters.
I took pride in describing my main character for the first time. He is a knight returning from a tournament he'd lost. His face is sore from a cut he'd received. He searches for the nearest mirror he could find and begins to admire his face despite the scar. He was still beautiful and that's all that mattered. You get description and characterisation in one go 😊
Leave it to a character motivated by vanity to not wear a helmet to a tournament so the crowd can see how beautiful he is. There's a nice little irony in that very vanity leading to the endangerment of the beauty he so values.
@@JTM1809 Depends what you call a mirror. A silver and glass mirror, no. But there were plenty of polished copper-plate mirrors. And richer people, like knights and nobles, could easily have small handheld mirrors nearby.
@@SysterYster Kind of. By the time handheld mirrors became common and their manufacturing processes improved (Renaissance), the feudal age was over and most knights would no longer rank among the richer people. A handheld mirror would be more likely owned by a merchant, a prelate, or a holder of a civic office. And even then the mirrors were of pretty poor quality, distorted, etc. But the OP's idea isn't so outlandish after all. Even Bernard of Clairvaux criticised the vainglory of contemporary knights and their improper attention to their visage.
My main character is an immortal, but I'm torn between making that a big reveal near the end of the story, or having my readers be aware of that fact while no one else in the story knows.
Why don´t give the reader a few clues from time to time. that the main character. might be a little older then. pepole think. So when the reader learns that MC is imortal. the things make sense.
@@exploatores That's how I've written it so far. I have a lot of subtle hints throughout, but my concern is the concept of immortality being revealed in an otherwise grounded-in-reality story. I don't know how well that will be received by readers.
Excerpt: Long blonde hair flowed evenly down the right side of her face, while the left had enough growth to cover the nearly circular, dominating scar on her head.
Yeah if I remember correctly, he was scrawny, had knobbly knee's and a bunch of other features all highlighted in the mirror of Erised where he compares himself to all his family. As well as his eyes and hair.
Worst advice ever--DON"T describe! You're supposed to let the reader form their own opinion. Okay in a few ways, but it may matter later if they are short, tall, handicapped, thin, heavy, muscular, etc. I don't need three sentences on the exact shade of their 'azure' eyes, but...
Am I the only one who totally disagrees that the Hunger Game example is even remotely adequate to keep someone's interest? Am I the only one who found the Hunger Games LITERALLY unreadable within the first couple of pages?
Thank you, I wasn't the only one. I only managed to get through cause I watched the movie first so was able to piece together pieces since I already knew the plot but the actual book was a bit unreadable towards the beginning.
Interesting subject. To me what a character looks like makes no difference. You can write a detailed description and 1000 readers will come up with 2000 different interpretations of what they think he looks like. What his hair color is, if he wears glasses, to me I don't care. Unless it is strictly vital to the plot (e.g., strands of the killer's brown hair were found at the crime scene), I want to come to know the character through his actions and attitude. I am not published but I write sometimes. The story I'm doing now I don't even allude to the character being 20 until halfway through the story. Up to that point it doesn't much matter, and the only reason I did mention it is to draw attention to how old all the OTHER people in a particular group around him were by comparison. Good video though.
In my WIP I was thinking that my main character is telling a lie to himself that everything is fine to cope with being over-worked. Thus he think he looks fine too. However, after the inciting incident he realises everything is not fine, and actually _looks_ into a mirror for the first time in years. This is when he realises that his hair is messier than he thought, his eyes are tired and his beard not so well kempt. Not changing his looks, but added details about him he himself had not noticed. We'll see how it works out.
One thing I try to balance is providing details but limiting them to what my POV character would perceive and using words consistent with that character's voice.
Yep, limiting things to what your POV character perceives is a great way to build credibility for the character and the story
#1 thing I hate about character descriptions of their physical attributes is when the author doesn't give them until several paragraphs AFTER you've already formed a subconscious picture totally at odds with what the author finally reveals.
Yeah, we should read the important details AEAP (As Early As Possible). E.g., we don't want to picture Tyrion Lannister as a giant, then find out he's "the imp." It's important to the plot (his behavior and his treatment by his family).
How i describe my characters in certain scenes is through dialog, "I was expecting a more.. louder personality" may be a way to describe your main characters voice, just an example. Its a 1st person present tense Horror/Fantasy, so i wanted a way of describing the character without it being the typical "I glanced upon the mirror" approach. I also describe my character through how the word interacts with him, "My beard dampens in the morning mist" or something along those lines.
For a unique/specific detail about my main character is his injury burns along his body, not burn marks from a fire, but burn marks from something else within the world.
I love the dialogue description because when you do it well, you're describing both the speaker and the person described.
And your character's burn has me curious about what caused it--that's a nice piece of worldbuilding right there
A way I found to get around the main character just describing himself (first person POV) was to have him describe his father who happened to appear in the first chapter. He described him and noted the things they had in common and where they differed.
I've read a lot about character description over the last 12 months.
Mainly too much Vs too little. Reader demography and genera of the book have something to with do that as well. Female readers tend to want more description, especially on how the character is dressed. This is often strong indicator of the personality of the character being described. Guys don't need (or don't pick up on) this 'visual' queue so much and tend to judge the personality of the character by their actions and the 'tone' of their character voice.
These are obviously generalities and a bit of hand waving on my part but it is an observation I've made after reading a lot of comments by other authors who struggle with character description.
Dribbling out description over too long a period (some chapters) has the danger of the reader forming a picture of your hero in their mind's eye early in the story and then you come in and throw that mental image out the window with something left field.
I've taken the approach of thinking about what is plot relevant and what's not.
The specific clothing worn and eye colour are very relevant in my story but I've only mentioned his hair being tied up in a pony tail to keep it out of his eyes. The hair colour is just not mentioned at all.
Keep the videos coming Brandon - great topics and good listening.
Great post. I actually included some info on genre/reader preferences in my notes for this video, but I ended up cutting it in the interest of time.
One particularly valuable nugget came from, believe it or not, Twilight.
Bella the main character is given a bare bones description: "My mom looks like me, except with short hair and laugh lines." You might think this is lazy writing, but it actually works brilliantly because pretty much any teenage girl on the planet can relate to thing and see themselves as the main character.
Now that's not going to work for every book (some readers want characters who look/act nothing like them), but depending on your audience, it could play a huge factor in getting the reader involved.
Your insights are very helpful, thanks!
I find that sprinkling in descriptions can also confuse less attentive readers, as they miss the whole picture, but for the rest of the readers, as long as the sprinkling is done fairly quickly, works very well to give their appearance in a natural, authentic way without the flat checklist of appearances.
Rather than give a description of my female protagonist, my male lead (who grew up in the 1920s) says she resembles Mabel Normand (his favorite actress); "Same long wavy dark hair and big brown eyes." It is one of the reasons he is attracted to her. (For readers who aren't familiar with Miss Normand - there's always the Internet!!!) :)
That's a great way to do triple-duty with your character description. You establish her appearance, his taste in women, AND the time period. Best of luck with your story!
So. How many more times your reader has to look the internets so to read your cool story?
Actually this is the worst decision to describe a character - to say that the description is somewhere out there. May be you just include a url into your book.
@@ellennewth6305 And what if he doesn't? What if he reads this in 23 century when global dictatorship conquered the world and internet is destroyed and forbidden? A book must be solid, it must have all of its content right inside of it.
@@Stanser_Lagrangehow relevant is the photographic description to understand the story? As a reader I would get the impression that the male protagonist finds the female one attractive as she reminds him a celebrity crush.
@@rataflechera How many more book fact you are about to shorten? For the sake of what?
I appreciate when you use story examples that were both novels and movies like in this video.
What is one specific detail about the main character in your WIP? Let us know!
The way i did it was she minipulated a dude for bread in the beginning and the dudes friend said did you just let that chick with the scarf convince you to give a pile of bread for nothing?are you stupid!?
@@potatomanboooi3105 That's not bad. If possible try to be more specific
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty i will figure it out
If there is one specific detail about the main character in my WIP, its that he keeps ending up in trouble - which he does manage to resolve. Each trouble he encounters is resolved through teamwork.
My main character Bill grew up on a dust bowl farm, and he’s very shy and insecure. He speaks in a plain, simple way, and uses a lot of “um” and “uh” in his dialogue. He has a lot of ellipsis in his sentences too. This helps his dialogue stand out, as most of the other characters in the story are confident and wealthy city people.
It bothers me more than it should, that Catpiss puts her boots on before her trousers.
Lot's of great input here, Brandon. Great examples from Hunger Games and Carrie as well.
Personally, I like to take somewhat of a Shakespearean approach to character descriptions. Shakespeare often does not get into the details of what a character looks like and there's some great value to that. It allows the reader liberty to imagine the character for themselves and even allows for a greater variety of people, race included, to depict the character.
Unless there are features that are key for the story or expressing a character's personality, I'd say to keep the descriptions to a minimum and when you do describe them, describe them in action, or in emotion, or in their effect on other people.
"Gathering up his flowing blonde hair into a casual ponytail, he laced up his trainers and slipped on a snug tank top."
"Their eyes locked, her piercing eyes gazing into his soul."
"His eyes traced every delicate detail on her face, each freckle receiving his rapt attention."
Character descriptions are less about imagining exactly what the character looks like and more about expressing the character by their demeanor, preferences, and how they're perceived by others. Instead of piecing together a mental photo of the character they're now brought to life by emphasizing the character's personality.
There's also a case to be made here about the modern dialogue about racial diversity in stories. Personally, I'm not a fan of changing a character's race just for the sake of diversity, but as long as the core of character shines through, it doesn't matter what race they are. Of course, there are exceptions to this. Cultural folklore or myths-Lord of the Rings vs. Arabian Nights. Regional stories-unless the story is about a stranger in a strange land or about being a minority, your average character in Finland is going to differ from your average character in Kenya. Historical stories-The Revolutionary War vs. The Battle of Red Cliffs. And then of course, stories that explore racial and minority issues.
Ask yourself the question, "How important is it for this character to have X feature? How is that feature relevant to the story? What does that feature express to the audience?" For me, often it comes down to is personal preference. I'm attracted to red hair, green eyes, and a heart-shaped face so I'm more likely to use those traits in describing an attractive woman. Then there's how that feature is stylized. I have a character whose hair is shaved on one side, loose on the other, and the excess pulled into a top know-a clear depiction that the character leans toward a punkish attitude. Are the features consistent with the character's role or day job? A corporate executive is more likely to be well groomed. A retired drill sergeant is more likely to have close cropped hair and mechanical movements. Etc.
At the end of the day, character descriptions should be leveraged to enhance the character's persona and personality instead of providing their literal appearance.
Well I’m working on my main guy and he’s a young-ish 20’s noble that’s got little to no real chance of becoming king he’s got brothers and a sister, he is ambushed well backstabbed by his brothers who want to get rid of him for multiple reasons, he winds up being attacked by a decent sized wolf pack and the pack leader who by all rites should have been replaced years ago, so he fights the pack managing to survive with claw marks on his back and running down his right side of his face as well as a bite from the pack leader that he dew to adrenaline and being somewhat trained in combat which he wound up paying more attention to then his other siblings, he kills off this larger aged wolf. The night after the fight he has this horrifying nightmare were he is in a field and surrounded by millions if not billions of large black wolves and the only thing he can do is fight he is surrounded. After a while it’s day time and he’s seems closer to the castle he and his brothers left by carriage. As he’s getting closer he starts to notice there’s this odd and horrible taste in his mouth he try’s to get it out but all that dose is red blood though he doesn’t feel any pooling in his mouth must be something else’s or someone else’s…later on the sight of wolves terrify him bringing back the memories of his fight for survival against the wolf pack and his subsequent recurring nightmares were he wakes with the taste of stale copper. After a while he puts two and two together and figures out his situation and then realizing that he personifies the very apex of his deepest fear and he loathes and damn near hates himself fo causing such horrific fear and judging from what he tastes in the mornings deaths. That’s something I’ve got in my brain box also he becomes a really good cook to make the taste be a bad morning brevity.
Awesome--dark stuff! And that nightmare with the countless wolves is a great image. Maybe consider making it real somehow instead of just a dream? Just a thought. Best of luck with the writing
4:59 I agree. For me, I give few details at a time. I start with the noticeable ones for readers to remember (hair, hair style, eye color) then overtime I drop more description in bits and pieces. I treat character description as a discovery in a way
Prematurely gray side burns, indicative of many things. (Regarding The Hunger Games, I was greatly impressed by how Collins painted vivid scenes, revealed characters, and introduced an entire alternate world, with such parsimony!)
10:25 One thing I have for my main character is that he is a violent alcoholic. He is also in a dead end job, with two 'friends' he can't stand, with the older of the two, having a bad influence on him in his youth, living behind a uesless, violent alcoholic we see now. I know it's not much, but it's a working process.
My main character wears his hair super short and ragged- cut haphazardly- just to keep it out of the way, but every time he sees it he regrets cutting it, remembering that his mother loved how soft and lovely his hair was when he wore it long.
great advice thanks man
Thanks, glad it helped!
The character from my current writing project is someone who is alienated from themselves and their looks. The prologue itself describes how they are stuck in the past and mental health problems. While the first chapter shows a change in their situation and the first time they see themselves in centuries. And they don't recognize the person in the mirror. It doesn't make them feel any particular way because as established in the prologue what is and isn't, is of no importance. What he prefers and shows in the first chapter is being an efficient tool. So he changes his appearance to match the expectation he has of himself.
I think I used some common tropes in the writing business. But I personally felt that it would help to give people an idea of who he is as a person. Someone stuck in the past, with ptsd and flashbacks who only values perfection and efficiency and has no specific sense of self or a moral compass.
I am still thinking on the build up and the reactions of those around him. And I think personally people would freak out if someone has entirely stopped feeling and doesn't express anything unless they're suddenly triggered and do something unexpected. And mostly I wanted to try and figure out how to write a character that comes over as unfeeling while in reality they just bottle everything up because they've given up on themselves and the world.
I am also thinking of toying with the pacing itself because how you read it can say a lot about the character's perception of the events too. I am even thinking of making specifically odd dialogue because the MC doesn't remember the last human interaction they had and they just go in blind.
Thanks for the tips! 😎💪💪
Thanks for watching!
That was, once again, very, very helpful! Thank you
Today after watching castlevania i wanted to figure out how to subvert expectations and bend the rules.i noticed in castlevania it does it allot and it works really well.
Yeah the Netflix series is awesome. How far are you? And what specific subversions are you thinking about?
I've only seen Seasons 1-3 btw, so please hold off on any S4 spoilers if you're that far.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty im on season 3 episode 7
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty the biggest subversion was i expected a grand battle at the end of season 2 and it to be a satisfying end where you were thinking of how can it possibly continue if the goal was accomplished.it made me nearly forget about specific characters and i didnt expect it to be so sad.
@@potatomanboooi3105 Yeah, the end of Season 2 does a great job setting up for the future (and for even higher stakes)
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty i know its really good.anyeays my school is telling me to read a script on something called mid summer nights dream.i could not understand it so i watched the movie my mom gave me and it gave the same energy as a fever dream and i still couldnt understand it.
Thanks for this video
Glad it helped. Thanks for watching!
I love your point about what the POV character notices tells us a lot about that character. As much as I loved Robert Jordan (my favorite author of all time -- until Sanderson took that spot in my heart), it drove me crazy that Jordan spent so much time detailing the clothing people were wearing when the POV character wouldn't have noticed those details at all.
Question: Is it possible to finish off the description of my main character in the second chapter? I see a lot of people saying it must be completely fleshed out in the first, but I have a great scene in chapter 2 that works well for finishing the description naturally.
If it comes off naturally, then go for it. Sometimes authors will sprinkle a character description over the course of the opening scenes/chapters, so as long as you don't throw off the reader too much by waiting, you're good
I get that I got a mental description of my character in the prologue while a physical follows up in the first proper chapter. And I reveal their appearance by them actually looking in a mirror and not recognizing themselves. Before deciding to change it all to go back to their ideal. Their mental state is unstable, PTSD episodes are normal and a general out of body experience. While their outward behaviour is that of a perfect efficient tool. So their looks have to match the perfect efficient tool. Not having that was just a problem.
And then further along the story you will get more details on what happened, why and what their life is like now and what they're to work towards. The interactions with new surroundings will slowly pull him out of his head and away from the past but it will uncover all the emotions he never shows.
The pre amble is that my story is set 1,000 ish years in the future and there is a group of people called Tin Bones. They were cyborg super soldiers but their organic bits died so they are robots filled with bones that remember being people.
One of my main characters who is a Tin Bone is Hot Rod Susie. I describe her: she hid her crumbling bones under steel, glass and polyester cloth. It was as if a 1950’s pinup model was made out of the Buick Roadster she posed atop.
Just found your channel and have been watching your vids before and/or after writing sessions.
In my project I notice that I have very precise descriptions of how my characters look like, but most of those details are unimportant to the story, those that further the scene: “she looks at he speaks cautivated by his dimples”, “the boy can barely move John's 200 lb body”. (Not actual examples.) The same about their detailed backgrounds and motivations. Of course, I would like to put everything in my mind and my notes in the final product, but I'm willing to trim if that doesn't add much.
As an aspiring indie writer who wants to release ebooks, my go to for description is to draw a picture.
It is the dawn of technology in my fantasy story and the main character wears goggles with jade colored lens that match her eyes, white boots with black stains, and the majority of the time she carries a scent with a mixture of brass and oil. During her trip to school, she carries two books, one about machines and the other whatever hot new romance novel happens to be popular that week. She likes to work with machines and yearns for a love out of her reach.
My favourite main characters are those who are not described at all. For example, Paolo Coelho's Santiago in 'The Alchemist'.
I prefer giving a brief description, then spreading other details out as it’s more natural to mention them. For instance, my main character is a fire magic user whose skin is always unusually warm. But she’s also invulnerable to heat/cold and can’t sense temperature at all - from her perspective dry ice, molten steel, or her own skin all feel the same temperature. So, her skin temperature isn’t something that would come up naturally in her initial description, where she’s the viewpoint character. It either has to wait until a point where it would be natural for another character to bring it up or until the POV character changes.
Thanks Brandon this really helped me! The characteristic I'm going to apply it to on my MC is this: Very first scene in the book, he knocks his sword off the wall, and I comment on it being dusty. But mostly this was because I knew I needed there to be some reference to his sword early on. Instead, I'm going to put the sword under the bed and he falls and sees it. Reason being, that was his old life, and he's moved on... No actual description of the MC but indirectly tells us a lot.
My main character feels invisible, like no one listens, what she says and does isn't important.
my hero vampire is described as having auburn hair which makes him stand out from everyone else cause they have black hair except for the master who's hair is a silver white color
I have 4 main characters in a story I am writing. Watching this, I thought of a small mannerism for two of them. For one of them, he is a high ranking official within the military, and he always stands with his right foot forward and with his arms crossed in a way that allows him to grab his sword should he need it. For the other, it is smaller, but he will grab one of his wings and play with the feathers similar to how people sometimes nervously play with their hair.
*Devlin Armand, the world's finest fencer, fledgling juggler, dabbling necromancer, and full-time lifeguard at the YMCA, was, as usual, covered in brightly colored confetti. His coworkers had learned to ignore it; the last one to ask was forced to witness Devlin unhinge his jaw and swallow a live chihuahua whole. That was answer enough.*
Current WIP characters (there's two mains): 1. pale, thin, ebony black hair as straight as a plummet, small, lithe, can move as quietly as a ghost, cute, good at drawing, impulsive. 2: large, furry, round ears, golden-brown with dark spots, doglike head, heavy, brave, great sense of smell, teasing, great at fighting, loyal to a fault, protective. Just what I could remember at the moment. I try to describe only what the POV character can see and thinks about. Aka, they don't describe themselves, but each other.
Do you have any advice on how to describe someone who is completely average? Someone who does not believe in the supernatural, has no special skills, and could, in theory, just as easily be the reader or any one of a million other people?
That IS, in fact, my character's main trait; that he is nobody special, whom has had nothing special happen to him, and that all his decisions have been dictated (up till then) by making the 'smart', the safe, choice. (A.i. "He loved his wife... if not passionately, then at least very sensibly.")
The Lies of Locke Lamora has a great description of how the main character Locke looks average and funny enough, it's meant to be a positive thing because he looks like he can blend into a crowd and people don't remember his face when he dresses up as characters for his heists etc. He doesn't look too handsome or ugly, not too tall not to short, no decent build but not skinny either etc. So if I remember correctly they described him by what he's not and then pointed out why that was important for the story. Scott Lynch does a great job describing characters in general.
@@Vandylizer I will look into it. Thank you.
@@samaelkrieg Lies of Locke Lamora is great, and another that came to mind is The Dead Zone by Stephen King. The main character's name is Johnny Smith (John Smith = super generic name) and he's a pretty average guy overall.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Thank you. I had completely forgotten about him.
This is late but I think a picture can be painted just be explaining how he lives. A reader will always draw up their own image in their mind based on things like name, occupation, vocal cadence, or just what they're doing on introduction. "He walked up to the librarian" conjures a different image from "HD walked up to the trucker." A man named Bartholemew is different from a man who goes by Bart.
In this case just describing a man's utterly humdrum life will default a reader to imagining a humdrum man. Unless there's an aspect of his appearance that's vital to his characyer you can get away with it.
For instance, it took me a few reads of Ender's Game to realize the only description we ever got of Ender was 'dark hair'.
9:17 Well Carrie was pretty good looking in both movies. But I guess that’s Hollywood for you.
I'm very proud of how I written the description for my main character.
Today was a big day. And Yuma’s grandparents acted like it. Yuma heard them in full fussing mode by the time he opened his single functioning eye. He took his eyepatch and a white cat ear headband from his desk and put them on. He refused to go out without his headband on. While he wasn’t entirely sure why, he felt like wearing it made him closer to his feline friends. It also had the benefit of keeping his long hair from obstructing his already limited vision, something he hadn’t even thought about in years. He noticed his grandparents had put a suit ready for him. Chuckling, he went past them to grab his usual outfit from his closet: Black pants and a black hoodie with a green silhouette of a cat. Then he went out of his room. Kameko was there waiting for him. Yuma suspected that the calico cat wasn’t allowed into his room to prevent his suit from getting cat hair all over it. He picked up his best friend and went to the kitchen for breakfast.
In the opening paragraph I describe the most prominent features. His eyepatch, the cat ears he wears, the long black hair and the outfit he likes to wear.
I also tell a little about him. He lives with his grandparents who are excited about something and he likes cats.
I also get an anime-inspired feel
Your character REALLY loves cats.
My main character's piercing, deep blue eyes. These eyes connect him to an ancient society of people with unusual abilities and figure into his own abilities. His older sister has these same eyes and abilities and as they grow older, appears to be his twin. He describes her and mentions their close resemblance.
I’m writing a Transformers book that combines the Micheal Bay movies and my own universe and I’m having a hard time describing how 20ft tall robots look like lol.
Haha pick out the smaller details and build off those. What is distinct about your 20ft tall robot?
Harry Potter is however usually, if not always, seen on the front cover of the Harry Potter books. So it is not necessary to describe his appearance in detail. The reader already knows exactly how he looks because of the front cover.
Maybe you want the reader to know exactly how the main character looks. But at the same time, you don’t want the description in the text to be too overkill. Is this something that you should consider using?
Also, I have another idea to describe a character. A character making a joke where they compare the character to someone famous. For example in Better Call Saul, they compare Saul’s appearance to Kevin Costner and jokes about it. If this were a novel, this could give the reader a pretty good idea how Saul might look. Is this something that you should consider using? But probably not a good idea to keep using it over and over for several characters. You could use this method for the other senses as well, not only looks.
The moment Lorenzo met Juanita at the jail, he knew how he would defend her. She was a petite Latina in her mid-forties but appeared older. She looked up at him with the vacant eyes of a woman worn down by years of abuse. Her face was deeply lined, dark circles rimmed her eyes, her hair was thin and prematurely grey. She couldn't have weighed more than 90 lbs. He recognized his mother in her.
AND
He was a smidge under six feet tall with a build like a seriously overcooked French fry. Lorenzo found it difficult not to stare at his prominent Adam’s apple as it shifted side to side across his throat whenever he spoke. One of his eyebrows and both his earlobes were pierced. His vision was 20/20, but he owned four pairs of contact lenses, each a different color. Occasionally, he tied his dark blond shoulder-length hair into a ponytail; the matching goatee was perfectly trimmed.
AND
In front of him sat an unimpressive blob of a man. Roughly fifty pounds overweight, he was wiping sweat off his forehead with a dingy handkerchief. His sports coat was too tight, revealing the presence of a shoulder holster and gun. His shirt was partially untucked, his belly ballooned over his belt, and he had a dried glob of yellow mustard in the middle of his cheap polyester tie.
AND
Bill’s older brother, Wilbur Carlton Reynolds, Jr., Ph.D., had taken a few days off work and driven up from The Kennedy Space Center in his olive green 1978 AMC Gremlin. He showed thirty minutes early decked out in a red and yellow checkered flannel shirt, a clip on tie from DD’s Discounts, baggy brown corduroy trousers, and brand new Nike cross trainers, purchased especially for the occasion. Tony discreetly seated him in the back row where he spent the ceremony happily mumbling to himself and running algorithms on his Mac Book Pro.
I used the part of my story where the protagonist enlists in the military to describe him in detail. He has to fill out one of those charts with hight, eye/hair color, race, notable features, ex. Then he has a medical exam where you learn things like that he has more teeth than normal, and that he’s very underweight. The protagonist is very nervous about undressing for his exam, and you learn that he’s very insecure about his appearance and avoids looking at himself in the mirror.
More teeth than normal? Is he alien?
@@Stanser_Lagrangetheres a lot of people with more or less teeth than usual, with I being the latter and my brother being the former
@@ReklessTW And how much you have?
He isnt my main character but he's the secondary main to my main character and she first meets him in a dark wood boat on a river. She watches him climb the figurehead, a carved woman, and notes how with he could have been the brother of this carving, with his hair like thick dark vines and his hands blending into the shadows beneath the wooden ripples of her dress.
One of the stoeies im currently working on has very little description for her features. I have a solid idea of what she looks like but i completely forgot to tell it 😂
I focus more on mbti. Try to show their dom and aux cognitive functions to show internal conflict. But problem arises when two characters have same mbti
Not my character But I read about this main character who had been a funny guy who usually made jokes about himself and things he did which at first when I was reading it I thought it was normal and didn't take much focus on it but then when I actually looked deeper I realized the main character was mocking and making fun of himself to appear funny and he was revealed to usually miss the class lessons and yet he would always come befoee classes start but that day someone had asked him to go to this abandoned house with him but it was mentioned that he hated such places always talking about how it was dangerous and that you could be killed which was just seen as him being paranoid and it was said it didn't make sense since the main character wasn't someone who couldn't handle scary things and another thing was mentioned was that the main character uses sleeping pills it was mentioned off when a friend of the main character had been saying they had bad dreams and the main character gave the advice of sleeping pills and reccomended it since he was using them regardless I liked how that book gave all that information in one chapter since for me though the main character did mention all of that I didn't exactly realise what it all meant but it was more so because the first chapter didn't actually have a serious tone and so none of it was really taken seriously in that first chapter as that first chapter had gone naturally in the setting of the classroom but I personally like how it made the first chapter seem like it was more of a joke because of the interaction of the characters making it seem that way but anyways that introduction of that main character was something that I liked
It was more so because whenever something serious was mentioned in the first chapter the Characters either played it off as a joke and didn't take it seriously and then it made it look like the character themselves were joking about it too which made me think it was a joke
Also my memory isn't the best but in the second chapter the main character was said to have black hair which was like his fathers but from the main characters face they found it unpleasant and it was revealed their father wasn't around but it said he had blue eyes like his mother to where the main character had mentioned he would rather look like his mother but it was also said his build and hands were like that of someone who had done lots of outside work and it was revealed the main character had been a Gardener and had mainly grown vegetables and it was revealed that he's poor and it was also revealed the main character had an approachable sort of body language which made it easy to talk to him and he was basically the Class Clown and it was also revealed that the main character usually speaks In a Sarcastic and Confident tone but that he always loved to play things off
Honestly I really liked that main character sadly I forgot the name of the book but I always wanted to finish reading he book since the main character had actually lots of Development which was due to his past struggles and his inner problems which he hid away under him Honestly it was a Great Story of healing and self discovery
Rich descriptions are good. The thing I would caution against is building your character by simply heaping on the details, so that you've got a Frankenstein of traits without much of a core to them. Now, this is me speaking as a nobody so maybe this is bad advice, but perhaps step one is to work out how your protagonist thinks and acts; and by all means, feel free to model your protagonist on actual people you know. Do that and you'll get a whole bunch of consistent traits to emerge; and if you need to, you can introduce more.
Like maybe you've got a real feel for your world-weary retired cop, your concept of him is so solid that you could do a one-man show ... but you don't know what he even looks like. Well, at that point, you can try different appearances to see what suits him. Maybe you can even see if interesting details work with the character, such as how he's missing a finger; maybe that clicks or maybe it goes against the vibe. The thing is, you can't even make that call until you've got a good feel for the character.
I don't even write but I your videos hold my interest.
Thanks.
I think that at the beginning of the book you need short descriptions and more action, and in the middle, when the reader is already yours, you can afford larger descriptions.
The protagonist of my current WIP is never seen without her hat, her cross necklace, and her thin black notebook (both because they're iconic images to her and because they're important magic items).
New writer-I am still working on my intro, but i am trying to stay away from physical descriptions as much as possible because i am doing an Altered Carbon themed story. I am hoping it will help get some extra development in without clogging up the story with details that will change soon and are fluid. Any thoughts on viability or possible pitfalls to avoid?
Since the character will likely change from body to body, you could describe their mannerisms more. Does your character always smoke? Or maybe they notice this new body resembles their first in some ways, like eye color? Maybe they like when they have green eyes and really don’t care for blue eyes? Depends on your character and the story plot. What’s important? Were they forced into that body or did they choose it? Maybe they don’t like a tattoo that’s on this new body.
@@crissyjayfae thanks for the input! I didn't think about having a specific habit or something. That could work really well!
My main character likes cigarettes, and when he smokes, he always does so in a specific number of drags. One of his hands is also heavily scarred, and so he won’t use that hand to smoke with unless he’s alone.
As a rule I aim to never describe anything that does not affect the POV's behavior. That said, I'm interested in what can be done.
Meanwhile, here is how Robert E Howard first described Conan (right in the prologue itself)
"Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.""
I have never read a better first description of any character in any book, and it gives the essence of the entire series too
He is a powerful wizard who can turn his enemies to ash with one fireball.
I once described a character as running his hand through a now-gone beard as a recent spell gone wrong took off all the hair on his body. A chapter or so later, another character meets up with him and is startled at the completely bald, eyebrow-less, smooth-skinned man standing before him.
My main character in my upcoming novel is describe as of average height with brown hair and has a strong respect for nature
I have my main character described through other people one piece at a time like his mother remarks about how his grey eyes remind her of his father, while his betrothed (it's a sci-fi fantasy) loves his curly dark brown hair and his broad build. People tend to focus on one or two physical attributes so i try and frame it the same way.
When it comes to physical description, mannerism, etc., is it a good idea describing it slowly, over time?
My main character is first described in the prologue, through the eyes of a journalist (Julia), who is visiting a drug lab in the jungle:
"With oil-smudged fingers, the young woman pulled her too tight T-shirt over the edge of her too tight cycling shorts. During the short interview, she had done this about half a dozen times, making it six to zero in favor of her love handles. If the subject of Julia's report were why people don't buy clothes in the right size and maybe even in tasteful design, she might have had some information to offer. But for this topic, the aspiring journalist wouldn't have had to leave her university campus at all.
...
Her interviewee seemed cheerful and praised country life. Crime? That existed in the city, where gangs sucked the blood out of people, but here, everything was peaceful. She mentioned that she had to fix the satellite dish later so that people here could watch TV again tonight. She didn't reveal what else she did. Julia wasn't allowed to peek into the actual drug lab, even though there were probably no major trade secrets to discover there.
Her interviewee's supposedly beautiful accommodation was also off-limits, even though Julia had promised not to mention any details that could identify anyone. And names were not mentioned anyway. What was Julia giving her the banknotes for, which she discreetly tucked under the edge of her pants? She would make a sketch later, from which a more artistically talented friend could create an image for the illustration of the report.
The T-shirt displayed the three ducks Huey, Dewey, and Louie, which Julia found quite silly. For the image, she would replace them with the three monkeys - see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Could a journalist allow herself artistic freedom? Not really, although most did. But this was just an illustration, and not a contentually important one. It just looked somehow funny, lightening up the serious subject. One would have to add a fourth monkey, one that held out its hand but then couldn't say anything since, unfortunately, it had seen or heard nothing."
(Translated from German.)
I try to keep in mind what the POV character would pick up on. Different characters would describe themselves and other differently. In this regard, a LOT of people seriously botch 1st person present tense (narcissists all); I already hate you now, no number of cats will save your vain ass.
Most people know their height and weight, but have usually have more pronounced surface thoughts about both than actual metrics, which can often lead to fuzzy humor. If I were to use myself as an example...
Dating metrics claim I am of ideal height for a man, not that that's ever helped me; liars. I know I'm of ideal weight for my studly height, I read it on the internet, so it must be true; but my pot belly and manly boobs mock my studly physique.
I have an MC who describes herself as almost fifteen dess, if she stands on her toes at full stretch. She describes men in varying degrees of "big"; caveat, most men she sees are of a certain sub-species, and they are rarely shorter than 18 dess, so when she meets a normal human of less than, he is "not big." Keep in mind, she is not a child, she is a grown woman.
"Less is always more."
Instructions unclear. I did not describe my character whatsoever.
What if the narrative is in third person omniscient? How do you balance it all? Since the pov is all knowing. . .
Hey Brandon, I have a question for ya. I'm writing a light novel that will have a few illustrations. So my question is this. My important characters get an illustration when they first appear. So do I still need to be descriptive about thier appearance since the reader will get to actually see what they look like in the illustration? Thank you for your time, your content has really helped me out.
My character is trying to graduate from the University, but the specific College he belongs to has a singing requirement... in which he can't.
My protagonist is an ´uneducated´mariner who has mastered the ability to control a ship on any ocean he encounters. He´s in the public domain, but he thinks he´s as mortal as you and I are. One day, he has to conquer the fear of what being 10 years old is like, and he has to ACTUALLY go and be educated to become a sailor and later on a captain. He´s public domain and he worships Allah. Once he does conquer this fear, he slowly progresses and becomes able to master other fears he had never thought about before. He is like a boyscout trainer, but he is not a boyscout. Like Puppet master, I describe my characters through dialog, but stick to 12 characters.
I took pride in describing my main character for the first time.
He is a knight returning from a tournament he'd lost.
His face is sore from a cut he'd received. He searches for the nearest mirror he could find and begins to admire his face despite the scar. He was still beautiful and that's all that mattered.
You get description and characterisation in one go 😊
There weren't a great many mirrors around in the "knights at a tournament" era. Just sayin'...
@@JTM1809 Eh, it's not a real story, liberties can be taken here and there!
Leave it to a character motivated by vanity to not wear a helmet to a tournament so the crowd can see how beautiful he is. There's a nice little irony in that very vanity leading to the endangerment of the beauty he so values.
@@JTM1809 Depends what you call a mirror. A silver and glass mirror, no. But there were plenty of polished copper-plate mirrors. And richer people, like knights and nobles, could easily have small handheld mirrors nearby.
@@SysterYster Kind of. By the time handheld mirrors became common and their manufacturing processes improved (Renaissance), the feudal age was over and most knights would no longer rank among the richer people. A handheld mirror would be more likely owned by a merchant, a prelate, or a holder of a civic office.
And even then the mirrors were of pretty poor quality, distorted, etc.
But the OP's idea isn't so outlandish after all. Even Bernard of Clairvaux criticised the vainglory of contemporary knights and their improper attention to their visage.
My main character is an immortal, but I'm torn between making that a big reveal near the end of the story, or having my readers be aware of that fact while no one else in the story knows.
Why don´t give the reader a few clues from time to time. that the main character. might be a little older then. pepole think. So when the reader learns that MC is imortal. the things make sense.
@@exploatores That's how I've written it so far. I have a lot of subtle hints throughout, but my concern is the concept of immortality being revealed in an otherwise grounded-in-reality story. I don't know how well that will be received by readers.
I think if you want to make it a twist it's best to add some unrealistic things to it, what you do with it depends on what you want with the story
Excerpt:
Long blonde hair flowed evenly down the right side of her face, while the left had enough growth to cover the nearly circular, dominating scar on her head.
Tall, dark, handsome. Blonde, female, sometimes lithesome. Does stuff, wins in the end. Not difficult.
10:29 Susan is kind and practical, she knows how to make cold coffee drinkable by adding hot milk - to entertain a homeless guy under her window.
He’s a craft beer snob
Harry Potter was described way more than just his scar and glasses.
Yeah if I remember correctly, he was scrawny, had knobbly knee's and a bunch of other features all highlighted in the mirror of Erised where he compares himself to all his family. As well as his eyes and hair.
Why would you put your trousers on after your boots?
The audio in the videos are always way too low in volume that its hard to hear or comprehend man
Worst advice ever--DON"T describe! You're supposed to let the reader form their own opinion. Okay in a few ways, but it may matter later if they are short, tall, handicapped, thin, heavy, muscular, etc. I don't need three sentences on the exact shade of their 'azure' eyes, but...
That Katniss puts on boots before trousers tells me a lot of things about the character. none of them flattering.
Am I the only one who totally disagrees that the Hunger Game example is even remotely adequate to keep someone's interest?
Am I the only one who found the Hunger Games LITERALLY unreadable within the first couple of pages?
Thank you, I wasn't the only one. I only managed to get through cause I watched the movie first so was able to piece together pieces since I already knew the plot but the actual book was a bit unreadable towards the beginning.
Interesting subject. To me what a character looks like makes no difference. You can write a detailed description and 1000 readers will come up with 2000 different interpretations of what they think he looks like. What his hair color is, if he wears glasses, to me I don't care. Unless it is strictly vital to the plot (e.g., strands of the killer's brown hair were found at the crime scene), I want to come to know the character through his actions and attitude. I am not published but I write sometimes. The story I'm doing now I don't even allude to the character being 20 until halfway through the story. Up to that point it doesn't much matter, and the only reason I did mention it is to draw attention to how old all the OTHER people in a particular group around him were by comparison. Good video though.
In my WIP I was thinking that my main character is telling a lie to himself that everything is fine to cope with being over-worked. Thus he think he looks fine too.
However, after the inciting incident he realises everything is not fine, and actually _looks_ into a mirror for the first time in years. This is when he realises that his hair is messier than he thought, his eyes are tired and his beard not so well kempt.
Not changing his looks, but added details about him he himself had not noticed. We'll see how it works out.