This song reminds me of what it felt like to romanticize the idea of my abusive partner killing me. It was the only coping mechanism I had. In our last conversation, he told me I made him feel sick.
@@scoutinglegion8601 IDK, ITS SO STRANGE!! Perhaps it's the promise of a happy ending after such a tragedy, and maybe the hope of that bittersweet future makes us sad it hasn't happened sooner
It's the cruel opposite of what the mother-daughter relationship should be... mothers are supposed to be cared for and outlived by their daughters, not the other way around. There's a word for a widow (spouse has died), orphan (parents have died), but no specific word for a bereaved mother. It's not supposed to be that way, where a girl dies and tries to console her mother from heaven.
@@hehehaha3396 She is dead, and her body has been destroyed. The only physical remnants left of her now are the photographs her family gave to the police for the missing posters, and perhaps the photographs taken by her murderer as he killed her.
LORD the part where she starts singing “am i making you feel sick?” and the guitar playing behind it sounds like she’s screaming it (3:55) gives me chills, this entire song makes me cry so fucking hard it’s unreal
interpreting ethel yelling “am i making you feel sick?” as a final act of resistance made me finally feel free from my cousin who sa’d me. i know it’s temporary, i know i’ll fear him again soon, but it’s amazing to feel like he has no power over me, even if it’s only for a little bit. am i making you feel sick? do you regret what you did to me? i bet you can’t even imagine the shame i feel compared to yours. i hope i’ve made you throw up since you did that to me. hope i’m a lingering queasiness.
I honestly think the last verses about "I never blamed you for loving me the way you did while you were torn apart" is talking to her mom, making sure she doesn't feel guilty about the things her dad did to her and she not being possible to rescue her daughter of the trauma and everything. That's my conception :)
I also think this but I was wondering if the mother was loving and caring to Ethel and abused by the father as well. I guess we'll see tho because there's rumours the next album is from the mums pov or about her
Besides the obvious macabre theme of being cannibalized by your murderous lover, there's something very tragic in this song, in that it's... rather romantic? To me, it reads that Ethel (the character) is reflecting on her life, wondering if she ever lived up to anything, or if she just ended up disappointing everyone in her life. "I tried to be good, am I no good?" So she acquiesces, if she can't be good in the moral sense, then hopefully as her body is consumed, she will at least taste good. She constantly calls her murderer handsome, and begs to be his, because even as she leaves the material world behind, and her material remains are consumed, she still seeks some belonging, some validation. At least in being eaten, she is now a part of him. She even shows concern for him, asking "Do I make you feel sick?" and forgives him for his deed, "I never blamed you for loving me the way that you did." It just reads as a hurt soul, whose self image was so damaged, and whose life was filled with so much regret and shame, that in the act of being consumed, she looks for a semblance of what she always wanted--acceptance, belonging, acknowledgement that she is good--in her murderer and even tries to comfort him as he reflects on what he has done to her. She was so badly hurt in her life, that she is still in love with this man for the attention and desire he shows her, even if that culminated into her death and consumption. It's poetically tragic :'(
Yes, definitely! So tragic to think she’s still seeking validation in the afterlife… To add on from this, I like to think the part in the instrumentals of her repeated asking “Am I making you feel sick?” & the sighs as relief, it feels good making him sick. It was her way of finally taking control for the first time in her (after) life over a man who has hurt her
From where I read the verse “I never blamed you for loving me the way you did” was Ethel finding her father in the afterlife. Hence her saying this verse beforehand, “found you just to tell you that I made it real far.” She’s telling him, after finding him, about her life on earth and forgiving him for treating her the way he did. I’m not saying I’m right, or that the article I read was right, but just throwing this out there for anyone who may care idk lol.
If this album isn't admitted to the ranks of the classics in a couple years, then the classics can't be worth much. She wrote such heartrendingly beautiful lyrics, the production of the songs is outstanding, it carries such personal depth.
@@dsch0, Unfortunately, this is pretty much an Indie album, which means it might not get widespread recognition. However, I think that if any album deserves to be remembered from this modern music era, I agree it should be this one.
Okay but as someone who had abusive parents I love this song so much. The need to be loved by someone, anyone, that you start to believe that it's your fault that no one ever has.
A child's empty bedroom, left just the way it was before an innocent daughter went missing. Maybe her favorite stuffed bear left on the bed, waiting for her owner to return. This is easily my favorite visualizer of the record, and those belting notes at the end of the song bring tears to my eyes every time. This album is a masterpiece of a tragedy. Thank you for keeping the concept album alive.
If you pay close attention: when the second chorus emerges, you'd see ethel slowly emerging behind the teddy, possibly dreaming of a nightmare or tied up to that bed.
so many things to say about this song, but what's most devastating to me is how ethel romanticizes the whole situation from the very beginning; she says "don't talk to strangers, or you might fall in love" when we've all been told, usually from childhood, that we shouldn't talk to strangers because /something bad/ might happen to us, and that's exactly what happened to ethel. and yet she tells this song as if it's a love story. and the bridge of the song is terrifying when you know the context, but it's just as impactful to me without the context - it's as if a lover is asking their lover "have you grown bored of me, have you grown tired of me?" by saying "am i making you feel sick?" just insane. one of my favorite tracks of all time for sure.
Now THIS is how you close an album. Preacher's Daughter is going to be a classic album. UPDATE: I just finished the whole album. I am not exaggerating when I say this is one of the best albums I’ve heard past DECADE. The storytelling, the production, pacing, outros, cinematic feeling, attention to details, sticking melodies, bitter and sweet emotions, sad and frightening moments. From now on I divide my life before and after listening to this album. It’s music and artists like you that make life worth living. Congrats for putting this masterpiece together. 👏. 👏. 👏.
just listened to this album now, a bit late but damn shes amazing at portraying emotions and scenarios, ptolomaea brought out feelings I never thought I had
I prefer Sun bleached flies as the ending, it feels like Strangers should be after August Underground. Strangers is like a flashback of what happened during Ptoleamea while Sun Bleached flies served as the ending.
Maybe it's naive of me, but I like to think that Ethel's ( the character ) mother and any siblings she may have start searching for her and they eventually uncover her remains and are able to bring her murderer to justice. The thought comforts me after such a bittersweet ending to the album.
i really would love to believe that but since we know that the next album preachers wife is gonna be about her after ethels death im trying to keep an open interpretation of how this could go strictly because hayden is so good at unexpected stories
Apparently the next album will be from ethels moms perspective. The first half being about her and her husband and the second about her after ethels disappearance/death so she may find out.
If I had the time and talent I would love to write a companion concept album from the point of view of an old friend who had crushed on Ethel only to learn about her death so she goes on a rampage mirroring the album’s story until she finally catches up with the murderer and disposes him in the same way.
@@melodicvirginia “Freezer bride, your sweet divine, you devour like smoked bovine hide” “If I’m turning in your stomach and I’m making you feel sick” “Your so handsome when I’m all over your mouth” The main character in this album is murdered and in this song her murderer is eating her body.
Literally, my worst nightmare is people discovering Ethel Cain because of that movie. It's so unreasonable for me to think that but it's literally scarier than being cannibalized.
@@grace-g9f”Ur so basic” Well who’s basic now? You watched a movie about a dumb pasty white bitch making bad decisions cause that’s what your mom did when she decided to go raw. God, I hate those kinds of people
Your music is like a drug. A drug that takes you on a journey... sometimes down disturbing, traumatic or maddening paths. But it does so holding your hand the entire time and returns you safely.
In your basement, I grow cold Thinking back to what I was always told Don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love Freezer bride, your sweet divine You devour like smoked bovine hide How funny, I never considered myself tough You're so handsome, walking over to me now I tried to be good Am I no good? Am I no good? Am I no good? With my memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence I just wanted to be yours Can I be yours Can I be yours Just tell me I'm yours If I'm turning in your stomach Am I making you feel sick? When my mother sees me on the side Of a milk carton in Winn-Dixie's dairy aisle She'll cry And wait up for me We'll make love in your attic all night Euphoric in some strange delight I'm happier here 'cause he told me I should be You're so handsome when I'm all over your mouth (When I'm all over your mouth When I'm all over your mouth) I tried to be good Am I no good? Am I no good? Am I no good? With my memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence I just wanted to be yours Can I be yours Can I be yours Just tell me I'm yours If I'm turning in your stomach Am I making you feel sick? (Am I making you feel sick?) Am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel Am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel Am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel sick? Found you just to tell you that I made it real far And that I never blamed you for loving me the way you did While you were torn apart I would do it with you there Don't think about it too hard You'll never sleep a wink at night again Don't worry 'bout me and these green eyes Mama, just know that I love you And I'll see you when you get here
@@GoodCharacterBoy In Ethel’s Album ‘Preacher’s Daughter’, It’s Split Into Two Sections. The Second Half Starts With Thoroughfare Which Goes Through A Whole Story Of Her And This Guy. In Thoroughfare, She Sings About Meeting A Stranger And Decides To Travel To The West With Him. In Gibson Girl, The Guy Is Now Drugging Her And She’s Starting To Like It. In Ptolemaea, She’s Starting To Hallucinate From All The Drugs She’s Been Given. In August Underground, She’s Managed To Escape Her Boyfriend But She’s Chased And Killed By Him. In Televangelism, She’s Ascending Into Heaven. In Sun Bleached Flies, She’s Arrived To Heaven And Is Reflecting On Her Parents, Her First Love And Her Dad. In Strangers, She Is Now Being Cannibalised By Her Killer And Leaves A Message To Her Mum From The Grave
@@JMac-27 what do these lyrics mean is Ethel referring to staying as a ghost with her mother until she dies as her mother is emotionally torn apart after her death?
The first time I heard this song I was moved to tears just due to the instrumentation and her voice, now reading into the lyrics for real, it's even more chilling and sad. What a fantastic song. The structure is incredible. Highly, highly anticipating the rest of this record.
I know some people believe that the “am I making you feel sick” lines are out of genuine concern but I really believe that at least by the end she is declaring it as her final act of revenge and finally, even in death, taking her power back by giving him food poisoning. At least that’s what I tell myself to feel better but I hope that’s what it really means
And I tried to be good, am I no good, am I no good, am I no good" I just wanted to be yours, can I be yours, can I be yours, just tell me I'm yours" guts me to a level it feels literal. To be in an abusive relationship that gaslights you to feel like you have to beg for their love as you are being abused. I cannot listen to this song without crying so hard. Sure I didn't end up in the freezer but I definitely could have. I barely lived in the ER that night in 2004, sick f*ck. This is such a visceral recreation of that feeling. I have to listen to this album in a different order to get through it emotionally. Hayden (also my 24 year old son's name) you have created a beautifully dark story through some of the most beautiful music I've ever heard that can touch so many experiences in my life and although I'm not going through exactly the same kind of nightmare currently I'm hoping this music reaches someone who needs to escape before it's too late for them. I can listen to this and feel comfort knowing I got away without being completely devoured. It's truly a masterpiece you should be so proud of. ❤️
This song is disgusting and so sad, and I love it for it. I gag when I listen to the lyrics. Legit I’ve never had such a vivid emotional response to a song before, and I fucking love Ethel for it. Meemaw forever
god i’ve been listening to this song for nine months and today was the first time i actually listened to the lyrics (i’m not a native english speaker so i tend to listen to the vibes mostly). i looked them up after hearing the cannibalistic undertones and now- i just feel like bawling. i knew the general themes of the album and that she does get cannibalized but i had no idea it was so clear in the themes of the lyrics in this song. got chills when she was singing “am i making you feel sick?” along with the guitar
After finding out she was trans it gave me a new perspective on the meaning of this song. I personally know a trans woman who tries to please men looking for love, but she's afraid that she makes them sick. Just like how the main character of Preacher's daughter tries to be good for the cannibal both figuratively and literally. Like she doesn't mind how she was dismembered and eaten instead worrying if it makes him feel sick. Like she's just accepting that this is how the cannibal shows his love for her, and for her if it pleases him then it's all good. All she wants is love from a man. Idk if I'm making sense rn
Got introduced to this song by the "I just wanted to be yours. Can I be yours? Can I be yours? Just tell me I'm yours" lyrics and let me tell you I was not prepared for the full song. Listened through the whole album and cried 10/10 broke my heart
this is my first time hearing a full ethel cain song and I have no words. I listened to this on my way to college and I had to stop myself from screaming in the bus when I heard the bridge. she’s insane
every now and then a song comes along that hits everything you've been wanting - this is that song. it is so beautiful, so lyrically unique and somehow tragically relatable when broken down, and so well produced - it just hits you.
Really powerful to end the song addressed her mom because we really didnt learn much about her mom during the album. But she is going to be the subject of a whole upcoming album. By ending the album that way, it perfectly segways into her moms album .
Ethel broke the barrier of death here. It’s intriguing to consider that she may do the same in the upcoming Preacher’s Wife and Preacher’s Mother albums. In addition to their stories, we may hear from them viewing Ethel’s life from beyond the grave 🫢
This is actually breathtaking are you kidding the story telling and poetry, I feel like I had a spiritual revelation and went through the 5 stages of grief at the same time listening to this album but maybe that’s the brownie I ate lmao. Love you so much mother ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Just finished listening to this album for the first time, it's 2:03 am, i'm sweating and i want to cry and this is one of the best things i've ever heard
The ending is so bittersweet. Forgiving her mother for her harsh upbringing, wishing her mother peace and knowing she will go to heaven as well, and that resounding echo as ethel mutters her last words thus sealing her story and allowing her to find peace in the afterlife which she could never find in her life. Utterly beautiful
I just heard this song for the first time and it’s the single most beautiful piece of music I’ve ever heard. I am a grown ass man bawling uncontrollably. This captures such a range of emotions that no other piece of art ever has or ever will. It unleashed a piece of my soul that I’ve been desperately hanging onto. Just…. Thank you for this song.
ok but no one will understand how much this song means to me. I was here long before it got so popular from that "it ends with us" movie, and I'm still here, ethel
It's not very often YT random recommendations get it right but they played a blinder with this. What an amazing talent, can't stop listening to this and Hard Times. When you can write lyrics, put it to music and produce something that can absolutely draw the listener in, to the point where they feel like they are on a 5 minute journey with you...that's special.
this song hits so differently as a trans person- it reminds me of the difficulty of holding an intimate connection with someone (specifically a cis person) who might not understand or accept you & that constant insecurity of wanting to be loved but knowing that you have to work harder or prove your worth in ways that cis people dont. the ultimate betrayal that ethel faces from every man in her life, throughout the album's story, mirrors how ive felt in my own life; people will always treat me differently for being trans and thats something i have to come to terms with. at the song's climax, with all of the music just crashing down, the anguished yells "am i making you feel sick?" just aligns with my soul on a whole nother level. thank you so much for sharing your art to the world, this song & album means the world to me 🙏
It's as though Ethel's mother leaves the room exactly as it was when she left for the last time... so even after years, she occasionally stumbles in, expecting to see her daughter again. How can meemaw do this to us?
I went through a very abusive situation and had a weird trauma bond where I felt bad for making them hurt me. Never thought a song about cannibalism would be so relatable.
Lyrics- In your basement, I grow cold Thinking back to what I was always told "Don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love" Freezer bride, your sweet divine You devour like smoked bovine hide How funny, I never considered myself tough You're so handsome, walking over to me now I tried to be good, am I no good? Am I no good? Am I no good? With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence I just wanted to be yours, can I be yours? Can I be yours? Just tell me I'm yours If I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick When my mother sees me on the side Of a milk carton in Winn-Dixie's dairy aisle She'll cry and wait up for me We'll make love in your attic all night Euphoric in some strange delight I'm happier here 'cause he told me I should be, oh You're so handsome when I'm all over your mouth (When I'm all over your mouth, when I'm all over your mouth) I tried to be good, am I no good? Am I no good? Am I no good? With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence I just wanted to be yours, can I be yours? Can I be yours? Just tell me I'm yours If I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick Am I making you feel sick? Oh Am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel, am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel, am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel sick? No, oh Found you just to tell you that I made it real far And that I never blamed you for loving me the way that you did While you were torn apart I would still wait with you there Don't think about it too hard or you'll never sleep a wink at night again Don't worry 'bout me and these green eyes Mama, just know that I love you (I do) And I'll see you when you get here
Ethel! I sure hope you see this.......... Because Caroline Polachek just talked about you on a podcast that recently came out! I got all giddy when I heard her say, _"I think the most over the top addiction to a song I've had recently is a song by Ethel Cain called Crush."_ She then goes on to talk about what it is about that song, and your music, that she loves so much. As a huge fan of your music...and Caroline's music...it made me so giddy to hear her talking up your stuff. And I just had to find a way to tell you. I hope you somehow see this comment so it can make your day like it did mine. :) The podcast is Lorem Life and it's the episode from Feb 18, 2022 with Caroline Polachek. It's around 25:15 that Caroline starts talking about you. Anyway....just wanted to pass that along. I've been a huge fan of your stuff for over a year now...and I'm convinced you're going to explode into as realized and creative and fascinating an artist as Caroline Polachek herself is. So it's just so cool to see a genius like her recognizing the creativity and talent I've noticed in your own music/art for some time now. Later!
3:42 - 4:39 this feels like when my mom is lashing out at me then she starts mentioning how much I reminded her of my dad, she will never say it to me directly how much I make her feel sick but the look in her eyes every time she looks at me is all it takes to relate to this part
This album is special, it has something no other album does. This song is special, with such details! It is orobably my favourite song! All I have to say is, underrated.
How I describe the song: Very atmospheric, sends you back to a very painful past. I wish more artist makes music like this, it really pierces the soul.
the ending of this song is the most heartbreaking part of the album for me. even though i was raised catholic, went to catholic school, etc, my mom was always the most moral and holy person to me. she was my compass, and i was able to dodge most of the vile ideologies that my school fed me bc i knew that, if my mother didn’t agree, it was probably wrong. i still got some good ol catholic guilt and trauma, but i never hated myself for being gay bc my mom always said it didn’t matter. ethel saying goodbye and i love you to her mother, after everything that happened, rips my heart apart
the way this song fits perfectly with the end of the album even though it's been written for the longest time [that did not contain the final verse], IS SHOCKING… and from that understand this as a metaphor about a brutal love, IS PERFECT! Brazil already loves you 🤍🇧🇷
I first listened to preachers daughter in the summer and I still can’t stop listening to it in January. I honestly can’t get over how beautiful this whole album is.
this was my first time listening to this album and there are not words to describe what it did to me. this touched my soul in a way that has Changed me
The lyrics struck me on “am I making you feel sick?” I still remember my ex of two years called me a monster and that he despised me, I won’t ever forget the pain he put me through.
This song reminds me of what it felt like to romanticize the idea of my abusive partner killing me. It was the only coping mechanism I had. In our last conversation, he told me I made him feel sick.
wow
🌚
relate…
hope you’re doing better now
And I felt this too.
"And i'll see you when you get here." Is probably the line that makes me want to cry the most.
right?! WHY DOES THE ENDING HURT SO MUCH!
@@scoutinglegion8601 IDK, ITS SO STRANGE!! Perhaps it's the promise of a happy ending after such a tragedy, and maybe the hope of that bittersweet future makes us sad it hasn't happened sooner
It's the cruel opposite of what the mother-daughter relationship should be... mothers are supposed to be cared for and outlived by their daughters, not the other way around. There's a word for a widow (spouse has died), orphan (parents have died), but no specific word for a bereaved mother. It's not supposed to be that way, where a girl dies and tries to console her mother from heaven.
@@dsch0i cried
Her being in hell with her father, it can also mean a threat (someone Imposed this as a theory I think)
"With my memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence"
Now if that isn't the most heartbreaking lyric :))))
Can u explain this pls 😭
@@hehehaha3396 She is dead, and her body has been destroyed. The only physical remnants left of her now are the photographs her family gave to the police for the missing posters, and perhaps the photographs taken by her murderer as he killed her.
periodT
why am i thinking of dahmer and photos he took of his victims who he cannibalised
maybe because its directly relevant to the conversation @@ilmashin2249
LORD the part where she starts singing “am i making you feel sick?” and the guitar playing behind it sounds like she’s screaming it (3:55) gives me chills, this entire song makes me cry so fucking hard it’s unreal
That was her singing both parts💙
she actually was singing there!
Same this song breaks me everytime tbh when she says "am i making you feel sick" i feel it so deeply that i just wanna cry its so triggering
"Don't think about it too hard or you'll never sleep a wink of night again" makes me writhe like a demon charred by her godly words
i didn’t think a song about cannibalism could be so beautiful
Fr lol
A lot of my favorite songs are about cannibalism... it's just got the horrifying story but can be twisted to be romantic in such a weird way.
@@ShadowIsStillAliveI politely demand a playlist
@@lindsayschuster302me too
i’m pretty sure cannibal is a bad word to use bc of the racist origin ofnit
interpreting ethel yelling “am i making you feel sick?” as a final act of resistance made me finally feel free from my cousin who sa’d me. i know it’s temporary, i know i’ll fear him again soon, but it’s amazing to feel like he has no power over me, even if it’s only for a little bit. am i making you feel sick? do you regret what you did to me? i bet you can’t even imagine the shame i feel compared to yours. i hope i’ve made you throw up since you did that to me. hope i’m a lingering queasiness.
i am so sorry that happened to you. i hope u are safe from them. sending u love 💗
I feel this so deeply since my cousins sa’d me too and i hope every day he thinks of what he did to me
Let them see you everywhere they turn, yet remain nowhere to be seen ❤
❤️
This is similar to how the song is healing for me too ❤ wishing you peace and safety and healing too
Her voice is just makes me want to cry for days and then hearing about the concept makes me even more devastated 😭
I honestly think the last verses about "I never blamed you for loving me the way you did while you were torn apart" is talking to her mom, making sure she doesn't feel guilty about the things her dad did to her and she not being possible to rescue her daughter of the trauma and everything. That's my conception :)
i agree and tbh it drives me crazyy that most ppl think that line is about her dad or isaiah
I also think this but I was wondering if the mother was loving and caring to Ethel and abused by the father as well. I guess we'll see tho because there's rumours the next album is from the mums pov or about her
“i tried to be good, am i no good? am i no good?” makes me break down sobbing every time. this song is so tragic and so beautiful at the same time
Besides the obvious macabre theme of being cannibalized by your murderous lover, there's something very tragic in this song, in that it's... rather romantic? To me, it reads that Ethel (the character) is reflecting on her life, wondering if she ever lived up to anything, or if she just ended up disappointing everyone in her life. "I tried to be good, am I no good?" So she acquiesces, if she can't be good in the moral sense, then hopefully as her body is consumed, she will at least taste good. She constantly calls her murderer handsome, and begs to be his, because even as she leaves the material world behind, and her material remains are consumed, she still seeks some belonging, some validation. At least in being eaten, she is now a part of him. She even shows concern for him, asking "Do I make you feel sick?" and forgives him for his deed, "I never blamed you for loving me the way that you did." It just reads as a hurt soul, whose self image was so damaged, and whose life was filled with so much regret and shame, that in the act of being consumed, she looks for a semblance of what she always wanted--acceptance, belonging, acknowledgement that she is good--in her murderer and even tries to comfort him as he reflects on what he has done to her. She was so badly hurt in her life, that she is still in love with this man for the attention and desire he shows her, even if that culminated into her death and consumption. It's poetically tragic :'(
I interpret the line "I never blamed you for loving me the way that you did" as being aimed towards her mother.
I agree with @Ink Static, but your interpretation is still really beautiful.
Yes, definitely! So tragic to think she’s still seeking validation in the afterlife… To add on from this, I like to think the part in the instrumentals of her repeated asking “Am I making you feel sick?” & the sighs as relief, it feels good making him sick. It was her way of finally taking control for the first time in her (after) life over a man who has hurt her
From where I read the verse “I never blamed you for loving me the way you did” was Ethel finding her father in the afterlife. Hence her saying this verse beforehand, “found you just to tell you that I made it real far.” She’s telling him, after finding him, about her life on earth and forgiving him for treating her the way he did. I’m not saying I’m right, or that the article I read was right, but just throwing this out there for anyone who may care idk lol.
@@InkAndPoet That makes more sense in retrospect. Thank you for pointing that out!
The fact that I just learned about this album a couple hours ago is a crime. I think this is one of the best albums I’ve heard ever.
If this album isn't admitted to the ranks of the classics in a couple years, then the classics can't be worth much. She wrote such heartrendingly beautiful lyrics, the production of the songs is outstanding, it carries such personal depth.
@@dsch0, Unfortunately, this is pretty much an Indie album, which means it might not get widespread recognition. However, I think that if any album deserves to be remembered from this modern music era, I agree it should be this one.
ME RN
me. rn.
I just found her couple minutes ago
Tbh unwanted to like it soooo badly bc I was interested in the lore but the music isn’t my cup of tea at all
Okay but as someone who had abusive parents I love this song so much. The need to be loved by someone, anyone, that you start to believe that it's your fault that no one ever has.
🥀
u nailed it
A child's empty bedroom, left just the way it was before an innocent daughter went missing. Maybe her favorite stuffed bear left on the bed, waiting for her owner to return.
This is easily my favorite visualizer of the record, and those belting notes at the end of the song bring tears to my eyes every time. This album is a masterpiece of a tragedy. Thank you for keeping the concept album alive.
If you pay close attention: when the second chorus emerges, you'd see ethel slowly emerging behind the teddy, possibly dreaming of a nightmare or tied up to that bed.
😭😭
OMG I JUST NOTICED@@filip6994
so many things to say about this song, but what's most devastating to me is how ethel romanticizes the whole situation from the very beginning; she says "don't talk to strangers, or you might fall in love" when we've all been told, usually from childhood, that we shouldn't talk to strangers because /something bad/ might happen to us, and that's exactly what happened to ethel. and yet she tells this song as if it's a love story. and the bridge of the song is terrifying when you know the context, but it's just as impactful to me without the context - it's as if a lover is asking their lover "have you grown bored of me, have you grown tired of me?" by saying "am i making you feel sick?" just insane. one of my favorite tracks of all time for sure.
That's definitely what I thought the song was about before I did some research. And it still resonated with my situation. 😭😭
colleen hoover enthusiasts STAY AWAY don’t ever disrespect this song and hayden doesn’t even like you!
Oh no what happened
@@bella-bond i think they used one of haydens songs in a movie or something that had to do with colleen.
3:48 is something so special to me omg
Now THIS is how you close an album. Preacher's Daughter is going to be a classic album.
UPDATE: I just finished the whole album. I am not exaggerating when I say this is one of the best albums I’ve heard past DECADE. The storytelling, the production, pacing, outros, cinematic feeling, attention to details, sticking melodies, bitter and sweet emotions, sad and frightening moments. From now on I divide my life before and after listening to this album. It’s music and artists like you that make life worth living. Congrats for putting this masterpiece together. 👏. 👏. 👏.
Speaking of Daughter, her tone in this songs really reminds me of Elena Tonra
❤❤❤❤❤
just listened to this album now, a bit late but damn shes amazing at portraying emotions and scenarios, ptolomaea brought out feelings I never thought I had
Truly, one of the best albums out there.
I prefer Sun bleached flies as the ending, it feels like Strangers should be after August Underground. Strangers is like a flashback of what happened during Ptoleamea while Sun Bleached flies served as the ending.
Maybe it's naive of me, but I like to think that Ethel's ( the character ) mother and any siblings she may have start searching for her and they eventually uncover her remains and are able to bring her murderer to justice. The thought comforts me after such a bittersweet ending to the album.
The line "a polaroid in evidence" makes me wonder if Isaiah is eventually tried and convicted for killing her.
i really would love to believe that but since we know that the next album preachers wife is gonna be about her after ethels death im trying to keep an open interpretation of how this could go strictly because hayden is so good at unexpected stories
Apparently the next album will be from ethels moms perspective. The first half being about her and her husband and the second about her after ethels disappearance/death so she may find out.
If I had the time and talent I would love to write a companion concept album from the point of view of an old friend who had crushed on Ethel only to learn about her death so she goes on a rampage mirroring the album’s story until she finally catches up with the murderer and disposes him in the same way.
My girl, Ethel, throwing out jokes even after she's died 😭
"How funny, I never considered myself tough"
I have a severe cannibalism phobia to the point where the concept makes me gag, but I still think this is one of the most beautiful songs ever 💕
Wth does cannibalism has to do with this
@@melodicvirginia so did you listen to the song or?
@@yelling5780 i have many times enlighten me
@@melodicvirginia
“Freezer bride, your sweet divine, you devour like smoked bovine hide”
“If I’m turning in your stomach and I’m making you feel sick”
“Your so handsome when I’m all over your mouth”
The main character in this album is murdered and in this song her murderer is eating her body.
@@retroreactiveable is there a full analysis of the album somewhere? Because it sounds like it has a lot of storytelling i didn’t catch up on.
ive been gatekeeping this song only to end up being used for that damn colleen hoover novel im cryiugiugiduiguidugidugidugidugiudgi
omg sameeee and now everyone's gonna be like, "that songs only ur favorite because it's popular" >:(
Literally, my worst nightmare is people discovering Ethel Cain because of that movie. It's so unreasonable for me to think that but it's literally scarier than being cannibalized.
True lol
They’re using it for that :((( damn wrf
@@grace-g9f”Ur so basic” Well who’s basic now? You watched a movie about a dumb pasty white bitch making bad decisions cause that’s what your mom did when she decided to go raw. God, I hate those kinds of people
No one mixes horror and religion like Ethel Cain did
religion is horror
3:18 “with my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence” idk why but this part just feels so perfect to me
Idk how she did it, but this woman made murder and cannibalism sound romantic and I live for it
She’s got a point , she’s an icon she’s a legend and she is the moment. Now come on now 🤍🤍
"mama, just know that i love you and i'll see you when you get here" these lyrics broke my heart into little pieces
Your music is like a drug. A drug that takes you on a journey... sometimes down disturbing, traumatic or maddening paths. But it does so holding your hand the entire time and returns you safely.
couldn't have said it better myself xx
In your basement, I grow cold
Thinking back to what I was always told
Don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love
Freezer bride, your sweet divine
You devour like smoked bovine hide
How funny, I never considered myself tough
You're so handsome, walking over to me now
I tried to be good
Am I no good?
Am I no good?
Am I no good?
With my memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence
I just wanted to be yours
Can I be yours
Can I be yours
Just tell me I'm yours
If I'm turning in your stomach
Am I making you feel sick?
When my mother sees me on the side
Of a milk carton in Winn-Dixie's dairy aisle
She'll cry
And wait up for me
We'll make love in your attic all night
Euphoric in some strange delight
I'm happier here 'cause he told me I should be
You're so handsome when I'm all over your mouth
(When I'm all over your mouth
When I'm all over your mouth)
I tried to be good
Am I no good?
Am I no good?
Am I no good?
With my memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence
I just wanted to be yours
Can I be yours
Can I be yours
Just tell me I'm yours
If I'm turning in your stomach
Am I making you feel sick?
(Am I making you feel sick?)
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel sick?
Found you just to tell you that I made it real far
And that I never blamed you for loving me the way you did
While you were torn apart
I would do it with you there
Don't think about it too hard
You'll never sleep a wink at night again
Don't worry 'bout me and these green eyes
Mama, just know that I love you
And I'll see you when you get here
"while you were torn apart, I'd still wait with you there"
love how this song is after ethel got cannibalized ❤️
@@enfpny huh? What? Can you enlighten me?
@@GoodCharacterBoy In Ethel’s Album ‘Preacher’s Daughter’, It’s Split Into Two Sections. The Second Half Starts With Thoroughfare Which Goes Through A Whole Story Of Her And This Guy.
In Thoroughfare, She Sings About Meeting A Stranger And Decides To Travel To The West With Him.
In Gibson Girl, The Guy Is Now Drugging Her And She’s Starting To Like It.
In Ptolemaea, She’s Starting To Hallucinate From All The Drugs She’s Been Given.
In August Underground, She’s Managed To Escape Her Boyfriend But She’s Chased And Killed By Him.
In Televangelism, She’s Ascending Into Heaven.
In Sun Bleached Flies, She’s Arrived To Heaven And Is Reflecting On Her Parents, Her First Love And Her Dad.
In Strangers, She Is Now Being Cannibalised By Her Killer And Leaves A Message To Her Mum From The Grave
@@JMac-27 what do these lyrics mean is Ethel referring to staying as a ghost with her mother until she dies as her mother is emotionally torn apart after her death?
I really hope this album comes to vinyl one day.. because it would be utter perfection..
hayden wanted to make vinyls but her label said no, apparently. i hope she makes cds though
hope you’re happy folks she finally made a preachers daughter album i’m from the future
** vinyl
I’ve never listened to a vinyl before. What’s different about it?
Her music hits me in a way nobody else’s has in a long time. Real art.
The first time I heard this song I was moved to tears just due to the instrumentation and her voice, now reading into the lyrics for real, it's even more chilling and sad. What a fantastic song. The structure is incredible. Highly, highly anticipating the rest of this record.
I know some people believe that the “am I making you feel sick” lines are out of genuine concern but I really believe that at least by the end she is declaring it as her final act of revenge and finally, even in death, taking her power back by giving him food poisoning. At least that’s what I tell myself to feel better but I hope that’s what it really means
And I tried to be good, am I no good, am I no good, am I no good" I just wanted to be yours, can I be yours, can I be yours, just tell me I'm yours" guts me to a level it feels literal. To be in an abusive relationship that gaslights you to feel like you have to beg for their love as you are being abused. I cannot listen to this song without crying so hard. Sure I didn't end up in the freezer but I definitely could have. I barely lived in the ER that night in 2004, sick f*ck. This is such a visceral recreation of that feeling. I have to listen to this album in a different order to get through it emotionally. Hayden (also my 24 year old son's name) you have created a beautifully dark story through some of the most beautiful music I've ever heard that can touch so many experiences in my life and although I'm not going through exactly the same kind of nightmare currently I'm hoping this music reaches someone who needs to escape before it's too late for them. I can listen to this and feel comfort knowing I got away without being completely devoured. It's truly a masterpiece you should be so proud of. ❤️
This song is disgusting and so sad, and I love it for it. I gag when I listen to the lyrics. Legit I’ve never had such a vivid emotional response to a song before, and I fucking love Ethel for it. Meemaw forever
i didn’t know the meaning when i first heard it but now i do and fuck it makes me nauseated but i love it
thank you for this, you literally explained how I feel perfectly
god i’ve been listening to this song for nine months and today was the first time i actually listened to the lyrics (i’m not a native english speaker so i tend to listen to the vibes mostly). i looked them up after hearing the cannibalistic undertones and now- i just feel like bawling. i knew the general themes of the album and that she does get cannibalized but i had no idea it was so clear in the themes of the lyrics in this song. got chills when she was singing “am i making you feel sick?” along with the guitar
After finding out she was trans it gave me a new perspective on the meaning of this song. I personally know a trans woman who tries to please men looking for love, but she's afraid that she makes them sick. Just like how the main character of Preacher's daughter tries to be good for the cannibal both figuratively and literally. Like she doesn't mind how she was dismembered and eaten instead worrying if it makes him feel sick. Like she's just accepting that this is how the cannibal shows his love for her, and for her if it pleases him then it's all good. All she wants is love from a man. Idk if I'm making sense rn
no dont worry you are lol im a trans women too and that makes sense.
go hug your local trans woman y’all
Got introduced to this song by the "I just wanted to be yours. Can I be yours? Can I be yours? Just tell me I'm yours" lyrics and let me tell you I was not prepared for the full song. Listened through the whole album and cried 10/10 broke my heart
Best part at (3:46). My jaw dropped, a single tear fall down my cheek, I stop whatever I was currently doing
this is my first time hearing a full ethel cain song and I have no words. I listened to this on my way to college and I had to stop myself from screaming in the bus when I heard the bridge. she’s insane
every now and then a song comes along that hits everything you've been wanting - this is that song. it is so beautiful, so lyrically unique and somehow tragically relatable when broken down, and so well produced - it just hits you.
I’m crying at how beautiful this is especially if you listened to the demo 😢
im so glad the fellow ethel cain fans are as pissed as I am that strangers is on it ends w us😭
This song should have been the opening to "bones and all". Much more fitting than "it ends with us."
Really powerful to end the song addressed her mom because we really didnt learn much about her mom during the album. But she is going to be the subject of a whole upcoming album. By ending the album that way, it perfectly segways into her moms album .
Ethel broke the barrier of death here. It’s intriguing to consider that she may do the same in the upcoming Preacher’s Wife and Preacher’s Mother albums. In addition to their stories, we may hear from them viewing Ethel’s life from beyond the grave 🫢
Honestly one of the most beautiful/haunting songs I’ve ever heard. You hit this wayyyy out of the park. It’s perfect.
This is actually breathtaking are you kidding the story telling and poetry, I feel like I had a spiritual revelation and went through the 5 stages of grief at the same time listening to this album but maybe that’s the brownie I ate lmao. Love you so much mother ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
The ending always makes me cry...It's a struggle listening to this in public.
Just finished listening to this album for the first time, it's 2:03 am, i'm sweating and i want to cry and this is one of the best things i've ever heard
I’m so thankful I discovered her, it’s been such a spiritually enlightening & cathartic experience.
The vocals, the lyrics, the vibe, the outcome... A MASTERPIECE! I love all ur music 💕 there’s no other artist that does it like you :)
imagine a Collab with Lana 🥺🥺🥺🥺
@@diamantescozec3213 that would be iconic!!! 😫🤚
“I tried to be good, am I no good?” guts me every time. What a sad but beautiful song
The ending is so bittersweet. Forgiving her mother for her harsh upbringing, wishing her mother peace and knowing she will go to heaven as well, and that resounding echo as ethel mutters her last words thus sealing her story and allowing her to find peace in the afterlife which she could never find in her life. Utterly beautiful
This song and Western Nights are my favorites on this EXCEPTIONAL album. The bridge on this song breaks me yet feels so carhartic at the same time.
What is this magic? I dont think ive ever cried that much to a song before. So heartbreakingly beautiful
I just heard this song for the first time and it’s the single most beautiful piece of music I’ve ever heard. I am a grown ass man bawling uncontrollably. This captures such a range of emotions that no other piece of art ever has or ever will. It unleashed a piece of my soul that I’ve been desperately hanging onto. Just…. Thank you for this song.
ok but no one will understand how much this song means to me. I was here long before it got so popular from that "it ends with us" movie, and I'm still here, ethel
I came to listen to this because I watched the trailer for “It ends with us” and everyone said this didn’t fit. Now I see why.
How is she not a national treasure? My God…every song!!!! Every song I play again and again.
It's not very often YT random recommendations get it right but they played a blinder with this. What an amazing talent, can't stop listening to this and Hard Times. When you can write lyrics, put it to music and produce something that can absolutely draw the listener in, to the point where they feel like they are on a 5 minute journey with you...that's special.
this song hits so differently as a trans person- it reminds me of the difficulty of holding an intimate connection with someone (specifically a cis person) who might not understand or accept you & that constant insecurity of wanting to be loved but knowing that you have to work harder or prove your worth in ways that cis people dont. the ultimate betrayal that ethel faces from every man in her life, throughout the album's story, mirrors how ive felt in my own life; people will always treat me differently for being trans and thats something i have to come to terms with. at the song's climax, with all of the music just crashing down, the anguished yells "am i making you feel sick?" just aligns with my soul on a whole nother level. thank you so much for sharing your art to the world, this song & album means the world to me 🙏
ur kidding me the ghost (?) of ethel showing up on the bed a few mins in is so... wow
It's as though Ethel's mother leaves the room exactly as it was when she left for the last time... so even after years, she occasionally stumbles in, expecting to see her daughter again.
How can meemaw do this to us?
also around 1:20!! it's so haunting
this entire album is an absolute work of art.
This track took my breath away.... Wow. So excited for the album! Thank you for all your amazing music. 💖
I went through a very abusive situation and had a weird trauma bond where I felt bad for making them hurt me. Never thought a song about cannibalism would be so relatable.
This whole album is exceptionally moving, musically solid, and beautifully put together. I'll look forward to future work by this artist!!!
im sobbing so bad. it hurts.
Lyrics-
In your basement, I grow cold
Thinking back to what I was always told
"Don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love"
Freezer bride, your sweet divine
You devour like smoked bovine hide
How funny, I never considered myself tough
You're so handsome, walking over to me now
I tried to be good, am I no good?
Am I no good? Am I no good?
With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence
I just wanted to be yours, can I be yours?
Can I be yours? Just tell me I'm yours
If I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick
When my mother sees me on the side
Of a milk carton in Winn-Dixie's dairy aisle
She'll cry and wait up for me
We'll make love in your attic all night
Euphoric in some strange delight
I'm happier here 'cause he told me I should be, oh
You're so handsome when I'm all over your mouth
(When I'm all over your mouth, when I'm all over your mouth)
I tried to be good, am I no good?
Am I no good? Am I no good?
With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence
I just wanted to be yours, can I be yours?
Can I be yours? Just tell me I'm yours
If I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick
Am I making you feel sick? Oh
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel, am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel, am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel sick?
Am I making you feel sick? No, oh
Found you just to tell you that I made it real far
And that I never blamed you for loving me the way that you did
While you were torn apart
I would still wait with you there
Don't think about it too hard or you'll never sleep a wink at night again
Don't worry 'bout me and these green eyes
Mama, just know that I love you (I do)
And I'll see you when you get here
ive listened to this every second of the day, cried to it, please never stop making music :ddd
i love how the (bridge) "Am I making you feel sick?" questions were answered by a single "No". Just shows how much of an evil Isaiah is.
Where did you hear a voice saying "No"?
1:53 listen to this part right after am i making you feel sick you’ll hear it
thank you so much for changing my life ethel
Ethel! I sure hope you see this..........
Because Caroline Polachek just talked about you on a podcast that recently came out!
I got all giddy when I heard her say, _"I think the most over the top addiction to a song I've had recently is a song by Ethel Cain called Crush."_ She then goes on to talk about what it is about that song, and your music, that she loves so much. As a huge fan of your music...and Caroline's music...it made me so giddy to hear her talking up your stuff.
And I just had to find a way to tell you. I hope you somehow see this comment so it can make your day like it did mine. :)
The podcast is Lorem Life and it's the episode from Feb 18, 2022 with Caroline Polachek. It's around 25:15 that Caroline starts talking about you.
Anyway....just wanted to pass that along. I've been a huge fan of your stuff for over a year now...and I'm convinced you're going to explode into as realized and creative and fascinating an artist as Caroline Polachek herself is. So it's just so cool to see a genius like her recognizing the creativity and talent I've noticed in your own music/art for some time now.
Later!
So glad you posted this, I'm a huge Caroline fan too and can't wait to hear what she says
I know this comment is like 11 months old but they’re touring together this year I think
@@Greg-it4fu lol I know! It's so cool. I guess Caroline really loved her stuff and decided to give her this amazing opportunity.
This is probably one of the best songs I have ever heard
3:42 - 4:39 this feels like when my mom is lashing out at me then she starts mentioning how much I reminded her of my dad, she will never say it to me directly how much I make her feel sick but the look in her eyes every time she looks at me is all it takes to relate to this part
I just saw the mom putting missing posters of Ethel up on her bedroom window in the visualizer and I feel sick 😭
Where was that??
@@Shrimpz4412aroung 5:18
You are the Hope Sandoval of this generation...
petition for this to be in Yellowjackets 😮
This album is special, it has something no other album does.
This song is special, with such details! It is orobably my favourite song!
All I have to say is, underrated.
i genuinely cant stop listening to it, idk why it took me so long to finally listen to this beautiful song 😭
SUCH A GOOD SONG MAN CANT STOP LISTENING TO IT
this is how i find out that this song is in ‘it ends with us’ WHAT 😭
ginagatekeep ko si ethel cain eh hahahahaha
@@hiyoyorin sa true HAHAHAHA ayoko ma mainstream eh 😭😭
two years since i discovered ethel cain. i thank you for spotify for recommending me her essential album 💞
How I describe the song:
Very atmospheric, sends you back to a very painful past. I wish more artist makes music like this, it really pierces the soul.
This might be her best song
2:59 this Part is so addicting
The hannigram edits are gonna be wild
😂😂 I was sobbing until I saw this comment ffs now I’m laughing
“I’ll see you when you get here” gets me every time. Mind-blowing!
i'm never getting over this song.. easily one of my most listened to in 2022
4:20 Best thing i've ever heard in my life.
the ending of this song is the most heartbreaking part of the album for me. even though i was raised catholic, went to catholic school, etc, my mom was always the most moral and holy person to me. she was my compass, and i was able to dodge most of the vile ideologies that my school fed me bc i knew that, if my mother didn’t agree, it was probably wrong. i still got some good ol catholic guilt and trauma, but i never hated myself for being gay bc my mom always said it didn’t matter. ethel saying goodbye and i love you to her mother, after everything that happened, rips my heart apart
the way this song fits perfectly with the end of the album even though it's been written for the longest time [that did not contain the final verse], IS SHOCKING… and from that understand this as a metaphor about a brutal love, IS PERFECT! Brazil already loves you 🤍🇧🇷
listening to this at 2am hits different
I first listened to preachers daughter in the summer and I still can’t stop listening to it in January. I honestly can’t get over how beautiful this whole album is.
If he's a serial killer then what's the worst that can happen to a girl who's already hurt
Album of the year incoming.
this was my first time listening to this album and there are not words to describe what it did to me. this touched my soul in a way that has Changed me
The lyrics struck me on “am I making you feel sick?” I still remember my ex of two years called me a monster and that he despised me, I won’t ever forget the pain he put me through.
This song is so beautiful yet it disturbs me
best album ive heard in a while