How To Deal With Toxic Coworkers
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ต.ค. 2024
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How would you deal with toxic coworkers who are higher level than you and are clearly playing games to make themselves seem more valuable in front of the big boss?
If you don’t have a connection or a skip manager then HR or leave (secret info here HR puts the company first) - you stay at a place to continue growing, learning new things and grinding titles (if that is what you want) a toxic direct manager will make it hard on the first two, and even harder for the later.
Quiet quiet and apply elsewhere; it's a dead end. I've been there before. At the time I sensed I'd be fired because of the unrealistic deadlines set by my lead and manager, who were tight with head of HR. They had a habit of firing devs on a whim, including three to four devs before me. In the end, I got fired 🔥 Since I went with my gut feeling I applied to other jobs during my pip process. I ended up getting a job shortly after my termination and for more pay.
Been there. Just leave
It will only impact your mental health badly.
I was trying to overcome this, but I've only extended the agony which made my recovery way longer than it should. Health&time is too valuable to deal with such bullshit.
send out 20 job applications immediately, no hesitation
i loved that saying. "Others judge us by our actions while we judge ourselves by our intentions."
i love this vid ! It's very refreshing to see such a compassionate and self-aware lead with great communication skill like yourself :)! The last part where you said make sure you're not a toxic person really makes me want to write this comment.
I'm a girl in tech who has encountered so many unkind and egotistical individuals and managers who lack self-awareness. I think there's a hierarchy in tech that puts more weight on being a technical superior than a kind person so people just stick to that. Even when I like engineering, I've been thinking about leaving for some time (another option is to become my female boss, who has to be a tough ass to appear more capable). Wish I had a mentor like you in the field Steve :).
6:20 is so true...I saw it last May. The product manager proposed a solution but it sucked. Was unintuitive. A dev implemented it but it never got brought into production.
Few months later, another dev, a bit more brilliant, implemented it with a better solution. I remember him telling someone "you have to talk to the users". To know their raw concerns. After making it his way, he met with users and he said they loved it. His solution was a simple to-do list on the left side so users could go back to things they bookmarked. It worked great.
And as a developer, you can tell which solution is both technically feasible as well as most practical. Proudct managers usually aren't devs so they have no idea which solution is feasible.
I have been binge watching your channel for quite a bit now. I must say that I am enjoying the high quality content. Please keep it coming. I'd like to see more of you when I start a SWE job. Currently, in college.
Key notes:
1. Don't stoop to the level of toxic coworkers 2:01
2. A toxic cowerkers is not likely to change their behavior 9:36
3. Make sure YOU aren't the toxic cowerker 22:04
22 mins for that? lmao
Some of the most useful advice I have seen on yt. Even if I'm not guilty of pessimism or have received complaints as noted in one of the points (dealing with fake excitement from corporatism), I found it helpful to reflect on that possibility that I may respond in a particular way from that belief. While I may not agree with that vibe, I do not want to make things difficult for my team. As far as toxic managers, yes it can make it difficult but unfortunately it can trickle down into creating a hostile environment amongst your coworkers. I agree that the best solution is not to engage in these behaviors. It can be helpful (as it was for me) to trust that eventually everyone's character comes to the surface. I've also found that when we collectively (and professionally) challenge the manager, we can and have made a better environment. Though, like /ourguy/ mentions, it may be best to move on if you can, as it can eventually turn you into a bitter coworker. Thanks for portraying an accurate view that isn't all doom, wish more teams had leads that can help others grow, it isn't all just about code like you mentioned.
ending "hat" me dying 😂
Hi Steve love your vids! Keep it up, always watch them. Your takeaways are really helpful for a starting engineer like me. Btw, when listening to your video the audio sounds a bit cold/far away. Maybe a warmer mic would make your videos even better!
Wow congrats on taking the leap to the next phase! I look forward to seeing what you do next.
great vid steve, also you look great in maize and blue :P
Nice hat, Steve!
It's very true that a person won't change his behaviour. Never seen it in my career.
This channel is absolute gold!
this was great, really enjoy the advice, explanations, and reasoning behind what is said
Thanks for great advise !
What to do if I don't have enough career capital to leave a toxic environment in this bad economy? Feel the work is unsustainable and sacrificing personal life even health.
(only ~2 YOE; previous company shut down; landed this job 2 months ago; tried the market and know it's hard; even if I find another opportunity, most likely I have to sacrifice other aspects like location)
My toxic coworkers in senior level wont let me and other juniors learn or even do anything, so we spend most of our time staring at a screen. What can I do?
tell your manager and he can tell them to behave? otherwise, work harder and outshine them out of spite
@@skyhappy okay but how can you work harder when you got nothing to work on? It is easy for me to tell my manager about it but i dont want to come off as a crybaby or a negative person throwing dirt on someone.
@@kcnl2522 you got no work? Then lay low and chill
@@kcnl2522Some build an attitude that Juniors shouldn't do certain tasks. They either have had an experience or have adopted a false belief (which might not personally have anything to do with u). I would recommend asking politely and publicly during standups or any shared meeting. Ask if you can either take something on or tag along or pair while a more tribal knowledge person works on the issue. I am saying this politely, if tech isn't an issue, then it is tribal knowledge, even more senior engineers can have this issue going to new jobs. So another important thing is to show them in some capacity that you are capable technically. I won't list anything exhaustive but if there is a topic where the tribal knowledge is in question for you but not the tech, ask a question with respect to your technical knowledge. Trying to engage in conversations, if you can't think of any, pretend without saying anything until you've come up with one that you think is appropriate. Hit up a more senior person who you think might be comfortable to chat with and ask for feedback. There are a lot of answers and without more information it is difficult for anyone to give solid feedback. It's great that you don't want to come off as negative or throw someone under the bus already! Like homie said, it isn't just about coding but our behavior. Wish u the best of luck!
@@kcnl2522
You can give honest feedback without throwing dirt or being negative. Go to your manager and say "I feel like im not being given opprotunities to grow on this team. I would like to be able to do [xyz], can you help identify a path for me to do this". Your manager exists to help solve this problem, but they can't help you if they don't realise the problem.
Also... one other tip is to examine "What can I be doing to unblock myself, that doesnt require relying on the seniors".
As a senior engineer, I love it when my junior engineers go out and try something, then show it to me. 100% of the time I would rather that someone go and try to do something, then ask for feedback. Rather than me having to babysit them through the project step by step.
Sound isn't balanced. The right side is significantly louder. Your last 30 seconds about another video is correctly balanced but the sound quality is atrocious like I'm hearing this through the phone line.
Content wise, very good though. I agree with you on the last advice. People need to learn how to teach better.
This is great content, steve.
Can talking with the skip manager make things worse?
Please work on sound) adjust a bit because I thought my right ear is shut-down)
Can you make a video "How to take the edge of my communication". I see that this is a common problem I have and also according to this video comments
Another youtuber just quit the job and I was suddenly like "I haven't seen life engineered video at all, I thought he quit job to be focusing on creating content", and I'm here, 3 videos after 2 months into retirement...
Great content! I switched from software dev to IT Career Coach and I’ll expect to get a lot of value from your youtube channel! :)
What do when you are toxic co worker
It doesn't really seem like your thing, but one day can you do some reviews on Blind posts? Would love to see you review some funny ones but I also come across a serious post once in a while and wonder what you would think about it.
Hi Steve. Great video!
Question: what are your thoughts and advices on delivering constructive criticism? Are there some frameworks for that that you would recommend? How to construct the message? Most cases are ambiguous, how to be sure to not jump the gun?
Hey Steve. Michigan alum here. That blue hat looks real nice on you 😉〽️
Im not sure I agree with the point made at 15:54.
Both statements to me sounded like slightly reworded versions of the same thing, and your manager would be asinine to prefer one over the other. I get that it can be un-professional to always be pessemistic, but I think over using of corporate bullshit it beurecratic professionalism, that in the end does not help the team meet their objective.
I think what ive learned over the years is to:
1. Save your true feelings for your manager/senior 1:1s or team level retros. I always expect my team to be extremly honest in those and cut the corporate bullshit. Sometimes I'll hear patterns of complaining coming from multiple juniors, and to me that is signal of a systemic problem that needs to be escalated.
2. For wider org level review meetings, don't come in ranting about problems. Rather write up a document explaining your position and include data supporting your assesments. Most importantly make sure you propose solutions.
diverist"
Toxic coworkers are everywhere
Good luck on your transition from Amazon. Sounds like you're choosing YT over another dev job. Regardless, thanks for all the great vids and hope things go well for you!
Honestly "corporate talk" is result of people being "professional". I used to find them annoying when I was "straightforward". I don't find them annoying anymore cause I'm "professional" now 😂.
Hey Steve, I'm not sure if it's just me, but your video's audio is mainly playing in my right headphone channel, and not both - is that intentional?
Hey, nice sound! Where do you hide your mic?
The video was great as always. But I can't help but think that it was all a big setup to call Michigan fans toxic
9:50 Shouldn't it be a skip-2-level boss? Your skip-level boss is still very closely related to your boss. Of course, not all companies have that many levels, and even fewer allow for employees way down to talk to them.
The fact that your skip level works closely with your boss is a feature and not a bug.
If your manager is behaving in a way that is not productive, your skip level will want to know. Your managers performance is something that your skip level is evaluated on.
Sir in any industry before joining the company as engineer how to identify pain points or concerns of our boss/recruiters before interview or after it so i can position myself as solution to those problems ? How to use fear or loss aversion to improve our impact and success rate..
Seems like everyone has a "toxic" coworker these days. I don't believe i've ever considered a coworker/boss "toxic." Sure, I've worked with my fair share of annoying, and maybe lazy people. I don't know, i guess i interpret the word "toxic" differently than most. I think the word is overused by the way. Maybe viewing others as just being lazy and/or annoying would help, instead of viewing people as "toxic."
How you deal with a lead that doesnt document their work and communicates with single sentences or words
Im quitting this week because of toxic coworkers/seniors not letting me do anything (which results to not learning or moving in my career). Anyway i can avoid this happening again?
Next: How to Deal with Toxic company?
you got 2 simple options:
1. bear with it
2. leave
Hi Steve! What watch are you wearing? Sorry watch nerd here :)
Following
I’m wearing a neo-vintage Bluesey.
Hi Steve, why did you left Amazon?
I am working as contractor java developer in amazon. Is there any proper way to get it permanent
My biggest problem is me being dismissive and or angry related to what we are doing and not the person. People wrongly associate it with their own experience of stress derived from person vs person confrontations into the mix. Rarely there are smart people who get it and don't go personal
Layoffs are not the last resort 😂
You had me at OnlyFans!
no way u have only made 37 videos haha. i thought it was alot more
An M is an upside down W, if that's any consolation.
Taking my Amazon online assessment today for L5 swe. Oh irony.
GO BLUE!
the majority of this video was not about how to deal with toxic coworkers :(
Go Blue!! Hope you are okay with this comment. I'm trying not to be toxic, just funny.
Go blue haha
Worst advice I've ever heard