Currently 35 weeks pregnant and called My obgyn last night because I didn’t feel baby move as usual. I tried everything to get him to move: drank cold water, had dinner, exercising, had candy and still nothing.They had me go in to L&D and monitored me for a bit. Nothing was wrong and surprise surprise the second they put the monitors in he starts kicking and moving . I felt so silly , but the doctor and nurses kept reassuring me I made the right decision. And made sure that I knew if It happened again I should do the same thing again. It definitely made me feel heard and cared for.
I’m a doula of 20 years and had an OB hospital birth, a birth center birth with a CNM, and a home waterbirth with a CM…all 3 natural, and I was sitting here emphatically shaking my head yes to ALL of this!!!
I had my first baby 4 months ago. I watched all your videos to prepare for birth mentally. I always told myself "Im built to birth". I labored mostly at home which took a lot of stress away and went in to the birth centre 2 and half hrs before I gave birth. I agree how important it is to have the right care provider. My midwife wanted to give me an episiotomy at the final stages of pushing, but I said no and she respected that and allowed me a few more pushes and turns out I didnt need to get an episiotomy. I also sat on the toilet a lot and I moved from 4cm to 10cm in under 2 hours. I had a medication free birth, although i reached a point where i begged for pain meds, so my husband asked the midwife and she just encouraged me and said i can do it and the pain is good for me. Im so glad i chose a private birth with my husband and midwife who i trust to take care of me. Makes a world of difference! Thank you Bridget for all your videos :)
I'm 40 weeks + 4 days today and have been in pre-labour for about 10 days. It's been exhausting and such an emotional rollercoaster. Even though I know it's normal to give birth past the estimated due date, I'm so encouraged just to hear you say it too. Baby boy will come when he (and my body) is ready. Thank you for a great video!
#2 is so true! I had a home birth for my first child in January and at some point I told my husband and doula: "I don't know what to do, maybe I should go to the hospital and get a C-section". I am so thankful they talked me out of it and encouraged me to keep going! And yes your birth team matters A LOT! My baby was born at home and I am so happy I didn't go to the hospital and get the C-section. To all women who read this, you are stronger than you think you are! Keep going and believe! Thank you Bridget for this video and all the work you do. Your videos really helped me during pregnancy and preparing for birth! Bless you
I had my first home birth In September of last year. The last 6 weeks of my pregnancy, I spent 15 minutes each day to come to complete relaxation as I would bounce, slowly round my hips and lean on my birth ball. I listened to your birth affirmations and followed along to your breathing techniques over and over and over. That is THE THING that helped me prepare for labor itself! Would have been lost without that if I hadn't "practiced" before hand! Thank you! 💓
I wish I could have done this. I found it helpful too, but after the started pitocin (against my wishes, might I add), everyone was in the room and forced me to wear a mask b/c of COVID protocol.
#3 hits hard, my first OB literally laughed at me when I asked a question. That day I went out and found a midwifery and i am sooo happy I did. The midwives at this place are giving me so much confidence and really make sure I am in control of everything that happens. Im looking forward to labor because I know what my birth will look like for the most part.
Thank you for your honesty! I’m a birth doula and a home birth assistant of 7 years, but am getting ready to give birth myself for the first time any week now. It’s refreshing to hear other birth workers admit that.. we don’t know it all going in, no matter how many times we’ve witnessed it.
I love this advice and I had similar experiences with doctors and nurses trying to rush me through labor with my son. Get ready to stand up for yourself or designate someone you trust to stand up for you in the moment because some hospital staff just want you to hurry through this experience and to drug you through the whole thing, not caring about you or your baby’s best experience. I am getting myself mentally prepared this time to not only keep myself in the right headspace for birth, but to be ready to say no firmly and direct my birth as long as it is going smoothly and mommy and baby are doing well. Be strong mamas! Trust what your body is telling you and trust that you can do it!
I've had two unmedicated births now and the first was in a birth center and textbook amazing, and the second I had planned a homebirth but there was meconium when my water broke so I ended up needing to go into the hospital. I think I'm still mourning my beautiful peaceful homebirth, but I got so lucky with an incredibly respectful midwife and amazing nurses. Plus I had my doula and my husband there to help keep a sense of continuity between my birth plan and reality, I had an awesime birth team. I know I technically could've done it without them, but having such a respectful group that took my wishes into account when I was reeling from going from birth plan to "definitely not my ideal plan" made a huge difference.
I’m so grateful that my labour wasn’t long because I don’t know how much I could endure. First - 9 hours of labour 15 mins pushing Second - 5 hours labour 10ish mins pushing
You are a fantastic birthing teacher/coach. Thank you for all your content. My personal experience with my 1st (a home birth) with the “not believing we can go on” type of feeling mostly came in the form of me saying out loud to my doula (to my surprise) “what are we doing?“. It was like my conscious mind was trying to catch up with experience or something like that. She calmly and confidently reassured, “we are having/birthing a baby.” She continued to tell me other affirmations as well. It was empowering. I would also add that besides being more “sensitive”, I’d say something like our conscious mind let’s go/takes a backseat more and we will/can become more “instinctive”/“primal”I’m sure it can look differently for each person. For me, at times it looked and sounded like me giving orders based on what I felt like I needed. I was very grateful to have a team that respected and honored these requests. I would also add for those who are still preparing for their 1st, that a first birth is it’s not too early to have it at home or how you would prefer. I’ve heard too often “I wish I had done that with my first”. I hope more women learn of the benefits and are encouraged to trust themselves and their body’s enough. For me, after some education, it was clear that it was actually the much safer and supportive option.
Thank you Bridget this was such a good video! I had a traumatic birth 17 months ago due to all of the reasons you mentioned. I was not prepared and had a bully of a provider. I wish I would have had you as my doula!💜🙏
#3 really resonates with me. Thank you for reassuring us that there’s nothing wrong with us when health care providers treat us badly. I made sure to tell my doctor the second time around that I wouldn’t go to her hospital because her team was so insensitive and horrible to me the first time around.
I’ve had two pregnancies and have realized #4 is very important. My first pregnancy was with twins and I had an obgyn who I really liked and took great care of me, especially after birth when I hemorrhaged. So when I got pregnant again 8 years later, I decided to go back to this same obgyn. I ended up having a precipitous labor and gave birth less than 20 minutes after arriving to the hospital. Thankfully my obgyn was already at the hospital attending to another birth. I felt little support from him during the actual birth of my son though . Then before I was discharged from the hospital, he came to my room and basically lectured me about how I needed to listen to my body better to prevent a labor like that again. He went on to say had I needed a c section for any reason, he may not have been able to save my son. Then he said “but I’m not trying to pick on you”. He never made me feel like it was okay and never acknowledged that some labors like mine are just extremely fast. Needless to say, if I ever get pregnant again I’ll be finding a midwife who makes me feel supported and respects the birthing process no matter what it may look like.
That is exactly why I would never have a male obgyn. I cannot imagine having a man (who will never have any idea what’s it’s like to be a laboring women) talk down to me and try to tell me about my body. He has no right to talk down to a women just because he’s a doctor. I really wish women would stop using male OB-GYNs already.
I've actually found male practitioners to be very respectful. I'm so sorry yours was an a-hole! Especially since he was good the first time around. The only reason I can think of why he was hung up, was because they naturally just see the worst in hospitals. They can get a little fixated, I guess. I actually had a midwife who really ticked me off. But now I'm able to see that we just weren't a good match. She was griping about my (lack of) weight gain and said "Are you even eating??" Um, yes? Then she demanded whether I was drinking a gallon of water a day for fluids (I'm like, do you want me to eat or not lol). Turns out, I'm just not a high gainer during pregnancies, and my kids have all been healthy and normal weights. So female midwives can be weird about stuff too.
YES to everything you said!!!! 🙌🏻 I would add that baby’s position before labor/in early labor matters. I ended up transferring to the hospital because of several of the reasons you listed but my baby was in a weird position (I was told transverse but her head was still down, maybe just not all the way?) and it was making my labor really intense from the start because my body was trying to get her in the right position. We did several rounds of the miles circuit and it would help for a couple contractions and then she would move again. My midwife told me at my 37 week appointment that she wasn’t in optimal position but not to worry about it that baby usually moves in labor. Hind sight is always 20/20. I wish I would’ve been proactive and gone to a chiropractor or done spinning babies or something to encourage baby to move before labor even started. I had a midwife that made me feel like a giant inconvenience. And because labor was so intense from the start I got exhausted fast. At 24 hours in I made the call to go to the hospital, at 35 hours in I asked for an epidural because I couldn’t relax anymore and I wasn’t in the mental space to endure anymore contractions. I took an hour nap and then woke up and pushed for 3 hours. Our surprise gender baby (a girl!) was worth all those contractions. It didn’t turn out how I wish it had but I learned so much from the experience. I hope I can build up the confidence to try for another home birth with any future babies. Thanks for all your great videos!!
My 5th baby was by far the easiest birth ever. thanks to you. I wish i knew this with all my babies. Biggest baby and with ur advice It was just amazing how easy it was. Cant say eASY, but when u hit that wall, ur mind plays a bigger part after it. Thank you so much for helping us mommas out here. Highly recommend this video..
I spent a good bit of my labor sitting on the toilet during contractions. When the student midwife got to my home she informed me I was in active labor. My baby girl was born on June 12th. It was pretty painful but I had a great birth team and family support with me to make it go exactly how I planned.
So true about the mental game being so important. I was able to handle my contractions during active labour pretty well with my breathing - they were super painful, but I felt in control. But when I reached the pushing stage, I was done - I didn't want to be in pain any more, and I started to fight it. That made pushing, the feeling of baby's head moving down through my birth canal, and the ring of fire absolutely unbearable. I still feel sick to my stomach today (4 months PP) when I think back on that feeling. But I truly think that if I had been able to keep my head in the game, it would have been a very different experience.
Yeah I definitely wasn’t very prepared with my breathing. The pain of those contractions and being told to push into them. I started to get loud in those moments as each wave hit me. That ring of fire was no joke! So glad me and my baby girl got through safely.
I really don't know how to thank you . . . We followed all your videos from past one year. . . We are blessed with a easy delivery recently. . . Thanks alotttttt for creating such a valuable content. . . Love from india❤️
#3 !!!! This!!!! When I gave birth back in December the doctor on duty at the time (thank God she didn’t deliver my son) came to my bedside and told me, in a very unkind tone, that I needed to calm down. Apparently I was moaning and groaning too much or too loud. I was so upset by that I was fighting every urge to let out any noise. I think it made my labor more difficult overall.
I did it for 7 hours and I don't regret it. Fortunately noone told me to stop moaning and shouting. I was so loud I thought people hear it even in the next city. But I think it made my labour so much bearable.
Hi, I followed your videos from my 8th month of pregnancy which helped me a lot mentally to keep my mind stable to give birth naturally. I just kept one point in mind that we women are built to give birth naturally and followed your breathing techniques. Luckily I was able to deliver the baby within 3 hrs of labor. Your videos are really a boon for all the ladies who are expecting. Thanks a lot.
Apparently I was very seriously asking for an epidural when I arrived at the hospital…I don’t even remember this 😂 Thankfully I’d prepared my husband for this possibility and he quietly let the nurses know that I really didn’t want an epidural 😂 Once I settled in I got in the zone I got through it without anything which I’m so thankful for!
Lol I was in the pushing phase and remember hollering "what the HELL was I thinking?! Gimme the damn meds!" Pregnant with number 5, and having a home birth. Unmedicated, even with those moments where it seems unbearable, is infinitely better for me.
Haha yes the crazy talk kicks in. My second and third birth I was near the end and I said take me to the hospital and cut the baby out. 😂 A signal for my husband, the baby is coming now
#5 RELATE. I was falling asleep between contractions toward the end there. #2 is the only one I don't relate to--weirdly enough, I just never hit that point. I think it's because I knew it was so common that I was determined just to see the thing through.
Yes! I was in transition at 9 cm for 4 hours at the borth center and the midwives were like “go take a nap” it was amazing I pushed for 20 minutes and babe was born 🥰
I had a condescending nurse in the PICU that I still remember after my 2nd baby was born. He had some medical issues and she talked down to me like I didn’t know how to take care of a baby (like even saying we weren’t swaddling correctly which was 100% untrue). I was so shocked by how abrasive she was I couldn’t even respond. Also, my husband and I are capable adults, im a pharmacist and he is a physical therapist. It was a lesson in how to never speak to patients.
Oh man, my midwife had to break my water with my first. I was at a 10 and had been but my water wouldn’t pop so she did it. Baby was born probably 45 minutes after that lol. My sister said I kept saying “there’s just so much pressure” second baby is due in august! Hopefully things go as well this time around, if not better. Been loving your channel, it’s a great refresher for me!
As a Doula this really hit different. Trusting yourself and your team is so important. I’d love to hear your perspective on if virtual services would be helpful?
Thank you so much for your videos. I was well prepared and in a good state of mind thanks to you. I was planning on giving birth in a birth center but then I had to be moved to the hospital to be induced. Induction was hard, holy moly! In my head I was considering my options - epidural, C-section - even though I really wanted an unmedicated birth. I wonder if this was already transition. Long story short, your breathing videos were with me throughout active labor and downbreathing during pushing phase and helped me to do it all unmedicated. Thank you so so so much Bridget. Even the hospital midwife was amazed how good your videos were and how nicely I went through the birth process.
Laughing a bit. With my 1st birth, when I told my hubby this is bad I need an epidural, the nurse came to check me and said it was too late for one. Then my mind sort of went "ok fine, it's game time then" lol. Did it fine unmedicated...
Thanks for this video Bridget! I wanted to give birth in a birthing center or at home so badly but my insurance wouldn't cover anything other than a hospital birth. I had prolonged rupture of membranes and baby was in an occiput posterior position. The nurses were pushing for an induction for at least half of my labor because they were scared of infection and eventually I couldn't advocate for myself anymore and said yes. I ended up being 8 cm dilated for 2 hours and finally got an epidural. By the time they got it in me I was at a 9.5. I was sooo close! Who your provider is matters so much because you are just so so vulnerable during labor.
Wow sounds so similar to me, had PROM for 69 hrs before my daughter was born meant I had to stay in the hospital to labor Mon-Thurs with doctors and nurses coming every hr to “monitor the baby” aka keep me awake badger me with scary complications and tell me I need to be induced. By Thurs morning I was so exhausted and my body started pushing I think to help baby flip from OP and I asked for an epidural. After that they gave me pitocin and cytotec and all the lines and catheters! Luckily my epidural started to wear off so I was able to tell them when I was ready to push and to maneuver my own body into the position I wanted!
@@alishamassa I'm so sorry this happened to you. But it makes me feel comforted to hear your story, as it is quite similar to mine. It sounds like you did an amazing job.
Thank you so much for this video!! I’m 33 weeks with my first, and I love your videos! This helped me not feel fearful. I’m feeling more confident thank you!
I know that there are tons of great OBGYNs out there. I work in one hospital but so many people I work with are surprised when I tell them that I would be giving birth at this other larger hospital. I had a lot of reasons for that. One they have a higher level care for adults and for neonates. So say something was wrong- I could stay in the same place as my baby even if I was sick. This was a great comfort to me that even if something went south I could be wheeled down to be with my baby. Also- all the things I thought I’d really have to fight for like low intervention or delayed cord clamping or immediate skin to skin or allowing free movement during at least early to mid parts of my labor, they said they do those things already as part of regular practice for all those who deliver. I labored a lot on a peanut ball, I pulled out my own baby and immediately he was placed on my chest and the cord wasn’t cut for at least 15 minutes. The midwife I had also was phenomenal and her coaching me and her supporting my perineum and keeping oil on me with every contraction I believe she’s why I didn’t tear. So I said for all those reasons I wanted to do it at this hospital and preferably again with a midwife. My first did warn me that the triage nurses when I first go in wouldn’t be sweet. She reassured me they were excellent and experienced nurses but they lacked in bedside manner and that once I got to the L&D floor the nurses there would be so much better. And that was also true lol
I wish I would’ve known how many people are actually in the room for a hospital birth, It was just us and the nurse. then when the Dr. Came in, about 5 others came in with him. Everyone was amazing, but super overwhelming and I ended up crying because I got flustered. Thankfully I had an amazing team with me.
That’s why hospital births honestly suck. Because doctors and nurses don’t respect a woman’s privacy and realize how much of a vulnerable state she is in. To bring in 5 other people is ridiculous and unnecessary, But I’m not surprise since you had a male doctor. Men have no idea what’s it’s like to be a laboring woman. You should really choose a female next time for the sake of your self respect
Yesssssss.. 3 hit home.. most of the staff for my daughter's birth were amazing. But one of the dr at my ob was terribly cold. Thankfully the nurses warned me, so i just let it go. But then in postnatal i had a nurse that was rough with me and my baby.. and that still haunts me. If you can, tour your ward before staying if choosing a hospital birth! (i had my daughter during a bad covid flare up in our area, so i had to have strings pulled in order to even SEE the birthing ward) Ask about the staff and ask other moms around you if they felt good during their stays.
As someone who went through a 5 day labor 3 months ago, I think it’s important to consider different physiologies - your pelvic floor, how much tension you carry in your body, how you respond to pain, and do you have endometriosis. These are just a few… This to say that sometimes breathing and relaxation isn’t enough, and that’s ok too. 💜
@@verifiedmama There is no science backing up this claim, not sure where you got. I am not, but know plenty of women who are and have had different labor experiences. :)
@@hipchicksknit I do. I took Bridget's course, I took a hypnobirthing course, planned on an unmedicated water birth. My OB, who was also a surgeon to remove my endo was right in that - most people with endo have muscle spasms of the pelvic floor, which becomes especially apparent in labor. Epidurals tend to help relax and speed up the process. I didn't want interventions, but in the end - I had to get on pitocin and get an epidural - and I could feel like my muscles were able to relax. In my case I had prodromal labor for 5 days, no sleep, and when water finally broke, my contractions were still not regular enough. Because I had meconium in the fluid and high blood pressure, we had to augment the labor. Luckily my hospital is very conservative with interventions, so I felt I was in good hands. My muscles ceased up so bad, I couldn't pee. At that point I wasn't going to be a hero while endangering my child, so I went with what needed to be done in the moment. This is why I made my comment. In the space of "natural" or better said, unmedicated birth, I feel like everything is a bit black and white when it comes to talking about interventions. Don't feel bad if labor doesn't go the way you "planned" it. If I were you I would go to a pelvic floor physical therapist asap AND after birth. It's standard in Europe - can really help with high tone muscles and aid in upcoming labor.
@@respectfullymama thank you for sharing! I had excision surgery last June, and am currently in pelvic floor therapy. Holding it all with an open hand and definitely know that an epidural is an option, and hoping that a c-section won’t be necessary, but with two abdominal surgeries under my belt in the last 3 years, I at least have a recovery routine for that 😂
Thank to you Bridget I had amazing labour ❤️ I’m very happy and thankful I found your advises on you tube , there is so little knowledge about good labour out there , what you do is so meaningful and help many people, wish you the best ❤
i watched your videos and you are amazing i used your breathing techniques during initial contraction.but I'm sorry i couldn't take the pain and i used epidural.i just couldn't my eyes were rolling back and the laughing gas causes me to vomit non stop. the pain was so intense but during pushing they did reduce the epidural and i felt the most intense pain ever in my life.now it's all over and i don't think i could do it again.but i still think you are amazing.
I delivered my second baby 2 months ago and it was my *dream* birth! I could go on and on about how amazing it was. I prepared using the advice you give on this channel and want to say THANK YOU! I’m curious if you are familiar with the fetal ejection reflex? I am pretty positive I experienced it because I did not have to “push” at all!
The straining feeling without the straining.. I realise this doesn't always happen when my (only 2 years older then me) uncles wife had her twins 11 weeks premature. As they are more like friends to me he asked "why didn't anyone explain to her she needed to push very hard". We replied confused "it's a sensation urge, it's automatic". but now I understood
Thank you so much for your amazing, very informative, and helpful content! I am not even pregnant yet although my husband and I are looking to start trying in the next few months. But your heart, your words, and your encouragement brought tears to my eyes as I watched this video. I was also filled with so much excitement for pregnancy and birth! Thank you for what you are doing and for your heart to help and support mama's and parents in their pregnancies, labor, and beyond! It means a lot.
I had to switch OBs at 38 weeks. I told him I wanted a natural birth and he told me that birth is a "nighmare experience" that is "bed crawling agony" and I should just get an induction and epidural. He then gave me a cervical exam so roughly I bled a lot (I have had no bleeding problems prior) but he said this meant I should just get a cesarean. I'm so nervous about having him there when I go into labor, but have no one else.
# 2 Point really helped me a lot. Thank you for all your videos. Helped me a lot with my first so much more with my current birth to my 10 lbs 1oz baby. I was induced, but didn't ask for epidural..
I love your videos... I'm from South Africa and Doulas aren't widely accepted, I am hoping for a VBAC, currently 22wks with baby no3. Your videos are my zen...
Hi there! Love your videos. Do you have any insight into how to exercise your autonomy with the medical professionals during birth? I think a lot of us feel there is such a power differential between us (as laboring/delivering patients) and the medical professionals and when I gave birth to my first child, I would say what I wanted but it was easy for me to back down/say "or whatever you think" to the medical staff even if we have strong feelings about what we want. I did give birth in a hospital with an ob/gyn, so that differs a little (im assuming) from a home birth. Any insight on how to be direct and stand firm with our birth plan while also being respectful towards the staff (because for people like me, I really don't have any experience and I never want to put my health or baby's health at risk, especially when it's something I know little about.) For example, delayed cord clamping, asking for a different provider, holding off on formula/asking for formula when feeding isn't going as expected, labor positions (long story short, I have a tailbone injury and HAD to stay on my back the entire labor and kept asking to move but it was the policy that everyone births on their back. With this new pregnancy, I learned that's not true. It was just the preference of the provider on staff at the time.), etc. Thank you!
Sipping Gatorade during labor helps with energy. I've nibbled on something through all my labors, they've all be around 10, 12 or 14 hours of real labor. That must be why I was not expecting you to mention being tired. My kids keep me busy at home but I don't exercise outside of walking and usually gain a lot of weight. If you're worried about energy just eat while you're at home and sip an electrolyte drink at the hospital. I think I've even eaten small amounts of food at the hospital but I can't remember what.
Same across the board! Once I realized I was actually in labor, I ate a giant bowl of cereal, and had a big cup of water I made it a point to sip on between each contraction. I didn't feel exhausted during my labor. Mentally perhaps, at the end (unsupportive nursing staff hollering at me to push so much the word lost it's meaning) but physically I wasn't and I attribute that to eating and drinking during labor.
I should have done that! I'm planning to with this pregnancy. My two babies before this all started active labor RIGHT before I was about to go to bed, so I labored with no sleep! 29 hours with my first, I must have been awake for roughly 40 hours and was literally falling asleep in between pushes (like, good REM sleep, I was actually dreaming).
Thank you so much for this! The being spoken to gracefully really resonated with me as I had a similar situation with a routine checkup. What is the best course of action if that care provider is the provider on call for your delivery?
I wish I had more choice on what will happen with my birth…it’s my first time giving birth but also in a rural area in a foreign country where English isn’t the first language. I don’t have choices such as an active birth or epidural, or any pain medication. I can’t have anyone with me, including my husband due to harsh Covid restrictions. I’ve had to argue with my doctor to not give me an unnecessary X-ray pelvimetry at 37 weeks, which made me stressed. I have no choice but to be alone and in a room full of people I don’t really trust, but I hope that I can be as calm as possible during my birth.
Any moms here with hyperemesis gravidum? I'm planning a natural birth, and am trying to build endurance for birth throughout pregnancy, but with HG and what all that entails, I feel like I will be underprepared when it comes time to give birth. Anyone here have any tips or positive, natural birth experiences with HG?
Hi Hannah! I had HG with my third! In my opinion, going through that is worse than labor. Do your best to hydrate. That's the key thing. I found chewing on ice chips helped. For nausea, carbonated things (stay away from soda, too much sugar) like carbonated water, Jones soda (sugar free) helped settle my stomach a little. But hydration is tantamount, that's the biggest danger of HG for you and baby! If you are hydrated, birth will be easier, this is universal for HG and births where HG wasn't present.
I had a nurse who the whole first part of my labor just felt like she was annoyed with me or didn't want to be there. She had actually checked my cervix and I heard her say "oops" under her breath and then she left the room. After a few minutes went by i felt as if my water broke, when I told the nurses aide she said "let me go let the nurse know". The nurse came in and acted as if she was completely surprised that my water had broken. I just have a feeling that when she said oops, she knew she had accidentally popped my water, but pretended as if she didn't even know. It really makes me upset thinking back on it, but I'm a people pleaser so I didn't say anything in the moment.
BRIDGET Teyler- Do you have any videos about what to do or where to get info if you're considering an At-Home birth? I love your videos, & this one hit me emotionally big time because I would love to be able to have more control of my own birthing situation. Unfortunately, an OB hospital birth just doesn't feel empowering, comfortable, or very open to be influenced by the mother. I'm not speaking bad of healthcare workers, but for me that's exactly how the experience was; simply going through motions with prompts that had no consideration or empowering emotion to help encourage me. I would just love to get some good info on this to decide if it'd be right for my family, & even a possibility where I live. P.S. I am a huge fan of your content already.
Great tips! Obviously everyone is different but would you recommend a home birth for a first time mama? Or do you think in most cases, giving birth in a hospital gives first time mum’s a bit more peace and comfort (given that they haven’t been through labour before)
I had my first at home and it was amazing. I felt safe and in control the whole time. But if you would feel more secure in a hospital you'll be able to relax more and thats major.
What I wish I knew: Bloody show can happen in transition, and it can look like a giant clot. Currently pregnant with our 5th. Our 4th was my first unmedicated labor. Labored all night, by myself essentially, 4year old was sleeping on the couch with me and I wanted hubby to get rest (he has trouble sleeping). I was comfortable, content, and it wasn't even painful. It was pressure. I felt peaceful. Stopped timing them eventually except checking periodically because it took me out of my headspace. Around 5 am, I went to the bathroom and (gross TMI but I want to share so others don't panic like I did) a big glob of blood came out, it looked like a tennis ball sized clot. I absolutely freaked out. Everything I had read told me this meant something was wrong. In laws lived an hour away, so I had to drive myself while hubby waited at home with the kids for my in laws to get there. Got to the hospital, showed them the picture of it as they checked me. I was at an 8, and they said "oh, that's just your show! It can look like that when you dilate rapidly!" All that panic for nothing -but on the upside, if that hadn't happened I very definitely would have had an accidental unassisted home birth, because labor was NOT bad until I started panicking.
I have been watching your videos since I got pregnant but even though I have prepared myself thoroughly for birth (or at least so I thought) it was a horrible experience for me. Many things that I wasn't in control of overlapsed and made just awful, left me feeling broken as a woman.
With my first I had false labor and before I even had my hospital gown on they were telling me to take out my piercings in case I needed a C-section. I just got there. And yes she was an older woman.
My birth experience (first child) was a nightmare because in the hospital they induced my labor and I couldn't go anywhere or drink or eat for all the time. I entered the hospital at 5am and gave birth by c section at 2am the night after. I cried when while I was pushing they told me I had to have the c section. I watched plenty of your videos during my pregnancy and loved them, buty reality was so frustrating
I have a dear friend who has 5 children, and they've all be C-sections. She's a very hardy, granola, do-it-yourself kind of gal, and I know it impacts her deeply. She wanted a med-free birth so badly. Her first child, who she had at 19, has spina bifida, and needed to be delivered like that. She couldn't have a VBAC because of the neonatal surgery they performed on her firstborn (who despite being told she wouldn't live a year, is thriving and walks with crutches). She did the right thing for her daughter and subsequent children, and so did you. I know that might seem like the only good thing, but it's incredibly important. If you're struggling, try taking sam-e by Nature's Trove. I found it was great to stabilize my moods when I had postpartum depression. I also had a friend take it who was struggling with depression, and it gave her a much needed edge on her feelings.
I truly hope you complained to the hospital about the nurse and wrote a letter to the doctor that pulled your baby out with unnecessary intervention that hurt.
Thank you so much for all of your helpful videos! I have a question. My son was born prematurely at 34. He was poor born at 6.7 lb and very healthy except for some jaundice. They ended up taking his blood so much that his foot wasn't able to give blood anymore. I was so extremely uncomfortable with this but didn't know what was necessary and what wasn't. I even made sure to wait for all the fluid to transfer through the Angela's afford like one of your videos had talked about. They are already saying with this baby I'm having right now that they're going to take her blood every 15 minutes because I have gestational diabetes. How do I go about finding out what is necessary to get blood taken? What are the necessary things given to my baby?
#7!!!!! i ended up giving birth on the toilet! baby didnt fall into it bc nurse and doctor held her but yes #7!!!! things moved so fast that i pushed a little too much...i had 1st degree tear in my labia. wish i pushed lighter :)
I will never forget the way the midwife at the hospital treated me. Her face is etched in my brain.. i will remember her if i see her again. I had no choice in the matter for my own labor.
Love your videos... currently 36 and 2 days with my 5th, your videos keep my anxiety at bay... I watch them at least once or twice a day.. Thank you for giving us your heart when it comes to give birth no matter what number it is.. 1st or it's your 5th like me... 🤪
I am also about 37 weeks with my 5th and I feel like I've gotten so much judgement and side eyes for having a 5th baby. But I love my little brood and I wouldn't change it. Maybe because I also came from a big family..I feel like once you pass the all American 1.5 kids with a white fence and golden retriever then the unsolicited comments and advice begin to pour in. 😒 Good luck with your #5🥰🥰🥰🥰
Well my first birth was traumatic because I was young and had incompassionate hospital care and then my last birth was a precipitous labor (under 1.5 hours from the first hard contraction to my water breaking and less than 30 minutes later to birth) and I delivered her myself in my living room. So I know anything can happen with any birth. This time I'm planning a home birth (on purpose this time haha) and think at least I'll be in a more comfortable and peaceful environment. Between pregnancy anxiety and the judgement from having a 5th baby is just giving me additional hot flashes 😄 🤣 😂
Omg! I’m not alone! I’m on number 5 and although I did this before my anxiety is at an all time high! I’m trying to manage it and breath but I’m more fearful with this one than any of the others. I wasn’t afraid with the others but this one I’m so afraid. But I know we got this!!!! We were built for this! Congratulations ladies! And good luck❤️
I had an epidural birth in the hospital, and a med free home birth. I've given much thought to how to fairly describe labor to someone (man or woman) who hasn't experienced it. Functionally, contractions are basically a large group muscle cramp. You can add-in the ring of fire from crowning after that, which feels like the skin on your privates being stretched well beyond where they normally would. Mentally. Ah, mentally. It's like having to step on a nail every 5 minutes, for 8 hours. At least, that was my experience of labor, which was very difficult. Both of my children were born posterior, which intensifies things. I've really wondered how I would experience an anterior birth, but I don't expect I'll have one. Nearly 7 months along with my third now! Preparing differently for this one, for sure. I've been drinking red raspberry leaf tea since pre pregnancy (he's actually an embryo adoption) and throughout the entire pregnancy. I'm also taking cod liver oil, and really focusing on protein intake. Finally, for labor I have some herbal tinctures and homeopathics that will hopefully be used as comfort measures. Hopefully those make a difference :)
Did you have your baby? How did it go? I found I underestimated the pain of pushing/crowning because I heard so often it was a relief after the contractions. I was happy to get to that point but once it began it was other worldly the feeling. Thank God it was 3 pushes for me, he was posterior as well (my 4th, I had 3 epidurals prior)
I am due tomorrow.and my baby is weighing approximately 3.8kgs in our recent ultrasound.apart from weight ,all other things are super normal readings and healthier pregnancy…can i have vaginal unmedicated birth of my baby with that weight
My doctors were horrible to me. I wasn't even pushing for very long until they made me have a c section. I don't know if I will have another baby because of how traumatic it was. It was literal hell.
Also I'm a little worried about my physical health/stamina for labour as I have spd this pregnancy so haven't been exersizing more than just normal day to day activities (for some reason even pushing the trolly doing the food shop causes me a lot of pain and makes it hard to walk the rest of the day so I don't want to make anything worse but definitely feel stiff and sluggish from lack of physical activity any advice would be much appreciated and sorry for all the questions lol xx
Not Bridget, but I totally relate. On my third pregnancy and I can barely get my chores done from being exhausted all the time. Literally laying on the floor while my two toddlers play around me lol and I certainly can't stand or walk for very long... Personally, I've been doing the Every Mother program. It's not free, but they have you do 10 minutes of core compressions every day, which is at least something. I've been focusing on that, the pregnancy-safe workouts they offer as I'm able, and red raspberry tea for the whole pregnancy so my uterus is at least in shape lol.
Would you give birth at home if it was a vbac? I'm currently 34+4 with my 3rd child (first daughter spontaneous labour at 40+1 second daughter spontaneous labour at 40 weeks 106 hours of on off labour with weirdly weak Contractions (I wish I knew why the Contractions were so mild) then at around 7cm dilated an emergency c section due to poor heart rate and nuchal cord) currently pregnant with my first son and planning a home waterbirth vbac I live three hours away from all my family so the only way my partner can be with me is if I homebirth as otherwise he would have to stay home with our youngest daughter and I'd have to labour alone in hospital so long story short I'm planning a hbac largely out of necessity but also I've lost faith in the medical system a bit the last couple of years but yh lol would you birth at home if it was a vbac? My c section was 5 years ago xx
Mannn, I’m going to be on ALERT mode with any provider coming into my personal space if I get any bad vibes immediately Im telling them “I do not give you consent to be here/do this”
Speaking to point #3... in general my hospital team was awesome during my first birth (I ended up having an emergency c-section after about 18 hrs of labor), but I distinctly remember an older nurse helping me to transfer to another bed about an hour after my c-section. I was groaning and moving very slowly, and she chuckled under her breath and said, "It's not like you're dyyyyying or anything"... I just can't believe someone would say that to a mom at one of the lowest points (physically) in her life!
from all the videos that I have watched on youtube of birth in hospitals and birth at home, the ones that make me more uncomfortable/anxious are the ones in hospitals. The sound of the machines, the people in and out, the lights, most of people pushing laying on their back or being induced with Pitocin to "move labor along", etc. All these things have been present in at least 90% of the videos I watched, even when they said "gentle vaginal birth" or any title like that. Even the "unmedicated births" were very intrusive from the medical team. I know I would have a harder time birthing in a hospital than at home for sure. Of course if it's medically necessary I would go to a hospital for my baby's life and mine.
But but.. you said 'not painful' but you say also there is a moment you wanted an epidural.. Which was it then, painful or not? Not calling pain by its name can be chocking if someone starts to experience it, no?
15 weeks with my first today. I'm 38 years old and plus size and I have been bullied and harassed by medical professionals my whole life. I know that many plus sized women experience this,especially during birth. Most of the women in my family look like me and have been bullied into C sections and epidurals and are seen as "not healthy enough" to have a home birth. It's ridiculous, because if you know anything about genetics or epigenetics you know you can healthy, beautiful, and sexy while also being fat.
you're amazing, your course was fantastic and this was super helpful too.
I'm 35 yr old my birthday passed my due date passed I'm in 3rd trimester
bridget teyler I still live with my parents I have my homecare I have parents issues
Currently 35 weeks pregnant and called My obgyn last night because I didn’t feel baby move as usual. I tried everything to get him to move: drank cold water, had dinner, exercising, had candy and still nothing.They had me go in to L&D and monitored me for a bit. Nothing was wrong and surprise surprise the second they put the monitors in he starts kicking and moving . I felt so silly , but the doctor and nurses kept reassuring me I made the right decision. And made sure that I knew if It happened again I should do the same thing again. It definitely made me feel heard and cared for.
Absolutely did the right thing 👍🏻
I’m a doula of 20 years and had an OB hospital birth, a birth center birth with a CNM, and a home waterbirth with a CM…all 3 natural, and I was sitting here emphatically shaking my head yes to ALL of this!!!
I had my first baby 4 months ago. I watched all your videos to prepare for birth mentally. I always told myself "Im built to birth". I labored mostly at home which took a lot of stress away and went in to the birth centre 2 and half hrs before I gave birth. I agree how important it is to have the right care provider. My midwife wanted to give me an episiotomy at the final stages of pushing, but I said no and she respected that and allowed me a few more pushes and turns out I didnt need to get an episiotomy. I also sat on the toilet a lot and I moved from 4cm to 10cm in under 2 hours. I had a medication free birth, although i reached a point where i begged for pain meds, so my husband asked the midwife and she just encouraged me and said i can do it and the pain is good for me. Im so glad i chose a private birth with my husband and midwife who i trust to take care of me. Makes a world of difference! Thank you Bridget for all your videos :)
I'm 40 weeks + 4 days today and have been in pre-labour for about 10 days. It's been exhausting and such an emotional rollercoaster. Even though I know it's normal to give birth past the estimated due date, I'm so encouraged just to hear you say it too. Baby boy will come when he (and my body) is ready.
Thank you for a great video!
#2 is so true! I had a home birth for my first child in January and at some point I told my husband and doula: "I don't know what to do, maybe I should go to the hospital and get a C-section". I am so thankful they talked me out of it and encouraged me to keep going! And yes your birth team matters A LOT!
My baby was born at home and I am so happy I didn't go to the hospital and get the C-section.
To all women who read this, you are stronger than you think you are! Keep going and believe!
Thank you Bridget for this video and all the work you do. Your videos really helped me during pregnancy and preparing for birth! Bless you
I had my first home birth In September of last year. The last 6 weeks of my pregnancy, I spent 15 minutes each day to come to complete relaxation as I would bounce, slowly round my hips and lean on my birth ball. I listened to your birth affirmations and followed along to your breathing techniques over and over and over. That is THE THING that helped me prepare for labor itself! Would have been lost without that if I hadn't "practiced" before hand! Thank you! 💓
I wish I could have done this. I found it helpful too, but after the started pitocin (against my wishes, might I add), everyone was in the room and forced me to wear a mask b/c of COVID protocol.
#3 hits hard, my first OB literally laughed at me when I asked a question. That day I went out and found a midwifery and i am sooo happy I did. The midwives at this place are giving me so much confidence and really make sure I am in control of everything that happens. Im looking forward to labor because I know what my birth will look like for the most part.
Thank you for your honesty! I’m a birth doula and a home birth assistant of 7 years, but am getting ready to give birth myself for the first time any week now. It’s refreshing to hear other birth workers admit that.. we don’t know it all going in, no matter how many times we’ve witnessed it.
I love this advice and I had similar experiences with doctors and nurses trying to rush me through labor with my son. Get ready to stand up for yourself or designate someone you trust to stand up for you in the moment because some hospital staff just want you to hurry through this experience and to drug you through the whole thing, not caring about you or your baby’s best experience.
I am getting myself mentally prepared this time to not only keep myself in the right headspace for birth, but to be ready to say no firmly and direct my birth as long as it is going smoothly and mommy and baby are doing well. Be strong mamas! Trust what your body is telling you and trust that you can do it!
I've had two unmedicated births now and the first was in a birth center and textbook amazing, and the second I had planned a homebirth but there was meconium when my water broke so I ended up needing to go into the hospital. I think I'm still mourning my beautiful peaceful homebirth, but I got so lucky with an incredibly respectful midwife and amazing nurses. Plus I had my doula and my husband there to help keep a sense of continuity between my birth plan and reality, I had an awesime birth team. I know I technically could've done it without them, but having such a respectful group that took my wishes into account when I was reeling from going from birth plan to "definitely not my ideal plan" made a huge difference.
03:45 I feel this so much… you are so vulnerable in birth.. and how your team talks/treats/respects your wishes can make or break it in the hospital..
I’m so grateful that my labour wasn’t long because I don’t know how much I could endure.
First - 9 hours of labour 15 mins pushing
Second - 5 hours labour 10ish mins pushing
You are a fantastic birthing teacher/coach. Thank you for all your content. My personal experience with my 1st (a home birth) with the “not believing we can go on” type of feeling mostly came in the form of me saying out loud to my doula (to my surprise) “what are we doing?“. It was like my conscious mind was trying to catch up with experience or something like that. She calmly and confidently reassured, “we are having/birthing a baby.” She continued to tell me other affirmations as well. It was empowering. I would also add that besides being more “sensitive”, I’d say something like our conscious mind let’s go/takes a backseat more and we will/can become more “instinctive”/“primal”I’m sure it can look differently for each person. For me, at times it looked and sounded like me giving orders based on what I felt like I needed. I was very grateful to have a team that respected and honored these requests. I would also add for those who are still preparing for their 1st, that a first birth is it’s not too early to have it at home or how you would prefer. I’ve heard too often “I wish I had done that with my first”. I hope more women learn of the benefits and are encouraged to trust themselves and their body’s enough. For me, after some education, it was clear that it was actually the much safer and supportive option.
Thank you Bridget this was such a good video! I had a traumatic birth 17 months ago due to all of the reasons you mentioned. I was not prepared and had a bully of a provider. I wish I would have had you as my doula!💜🙏
#3 really resonates with me. Thank you for reassuring us that there’s nothing wrong with us when health care providers treat us badly. I made sure to tell my doctor the second time around that I wouldn’t go to her hospital because her team was so insensitive and horrible to me the first time around.
I’ve had two pregnancies and have realized #4 is very important. My first pregnancy was with twins and I had an obgyn who I really liked and took great care of me, especially after birth when I hemorrhaged. So when I got pregnant again 8 years later, I decided to go back to this same obgyn. I ended up having a precipitous labor and gave birth less than 20 minutes after arriving to the hospital. Thankfully my obgyn was already at the hospital attending to another birth. I felt little support from him during the actual birth of my son though . Then before I was discharged from the hospital, he came to my room and basically lectured me about how I needed to listen to my body better to prevent a labor like that again. He went on to say had I needed a c section for any reason, he may not have been able to save my son. Then he said “but I’m not trying to pick on you”. He never made me feel like it was okay and never acknowledged that some labors like mine are just extremely fast. Needless to say, if I ever get pregnant again I’ll be finding a midwife who makes me feel supported and respects the birthing process no matter what it may look like.
That is exactly why I would never have a male obgyn. I cannot imagine having a man (who will never have any idea what’s it’s like to be a laboring women) talk down to me and try to tell me about my body. He has no right to talk down to a women just because he’s a doctor. I really wish women would stop using male OB-GYNs already.
I've actually found male practitioners to be very respectful. I'm so sorry yours was an a-hole! Especially since he was good the first time around. The only reason I can think of why he was hung up, was because they naturally just see the worst in hospitals. They can get a little fixated, I guess.
I actually had a midwife who really ticked me off. But now I'm able to see that we just weren't a good match. She was griping about my (lack of) weight gain and said "Are you even eating??" Um, yes? Then she demanded whether I was drinking a gallon of water a day for fluids (I'm like, do you want me to eat or not lol). Turns out, I'm just not a high gainer during pregnancies, and my kids have all been healthy and normal weights. So female midwives can be weird about stuff too.
I’m sorry this happened to you
YES to everything you said!!!! 🙌🏻 I would add that baby’s position before labor/in early labor matters. I ended up transferring to the hospital because of several of the reasons you listed but my baby was in a weird position (I was told transverse but her head was still down, maybe just not all the way?) and it was making my labor really intense from the start because my body was trying to get her in the right position. We did several rounds of the miles circuit and it would help for a couple contractions and then she would move again. My midwife told me at my 37 week appointment that she wasn’t in optimal position but not to worry about it that baby usually moves in labor. Hind sight is always 20/20. I wish I would’ve been proactive and gone to a chiropractor or done spinning babies or something to encourage baby to move before labor even started. I had a midwife that made me feel like a giant inconvenience. And because labor was so intense from the start I got exhausted fast. At 24 hours in I made the call to go to the hospital, at 35 hours in I asked for an epidural because I couldn’t relax anymore and I wasn’t in the mental space to endure anymore contractions. I took an hour nap and then woke up and pushed for 3 hours. Our surprise gender baby (a girl!) was worth all those contractions. It didn’t turn out how I wish it had but I learned so much from the experience. I hope I can build up the confidence to try for another home birth with any future babies. Thanks for all your great videos!!
My 5th baby was by far the easiest birth ever. thanks to you. I wish i knew this with all my babies. Biggest baby and with ur advice It was just amazing how easy it was. Cant say eASY, but when u hit that wall, ur mind plays a bigger part after it. Thank you so much for helping us mommas out here. Highly recommend this video..
I spent a good bit of my labor sitting on the toilet during contractions. When the student midwife got to my home she informed me I was in active labor. My baby girl was born on June 12th. It was pretty painful but I had a great birth team and family support with me to make it go exactly how I planned.
So true about the mental game being so important. I was able to handle my contractions during active labour pretty well with my breathing - they were super painful, but I felt in control. But when I reached the pushing stage, I was done - I didn't want to be in pain any more, and I started to fight it. That made pushing, the feeling of baby's head moving down through my birth canal, and the ring of fire absolutely unbearable. I still feel sick to my stomach today (4 months PP) when I think back on that feeling. But I truly think that if I had been able to keep my head in the game, it would have been a very different experience.
Yeah I definitely wasn’t very prepared with my breathing. The pain of those contractions and being told to push into them. I started to get loud in those moments as each wave hit me. That ring of fire was no joke! So glad me and my baby girl got through safely.
I really don't know how to thank you . . . We followed all your videos from past one year. . . We are blessed with a easy delivery recently. . . Thanks alotttttt for creating such a valuable content. . . Love from india❤️
#3 !!!! This!!!! When I gave birth back in December the doctor on duty at the time (thank God she didn’t deliver my son) came to my bedside and told me, in a very unkind tone, that I needed to calm down. Apparently I was moaning and groaning too much or too loud. I was so upset by that I was fighting every urge to let out any noise. I think it made my labor more difficult overall.
I did it for 7 hours and I don't regret it. Fortunately noone told me to stop moaning and shouting. I was so loud I thought people hear it even in the next city. But I think it made my labour so much bearable.
Hi, I followed your videos from my 8th month of pregnancy which helped me a lot mentally to keep my mind stable to give birth naturally. I just kept one point in mind that we women are built to give birth naturally and followed your breathing techniques. Luckily I was able to deliver the baby within 3 hrs of labor. Your videos are really a boon for all the ladies who are expecting. Thanks a lot.
Apparently I was very seriously asking for an epidural when I arrived at the hospital…I don’t even remember this 😂 Thankfully I’d prepared my husband for this possibility and he quietly let the nurses know that I really didn’t want an epidural 😂 Once I settled in I got in the zone I got through it without anything which I’m so thankful for!
Lol I was in the pushing phase and remember hollering "what the HELL was I thinking?! Gimme the damn meds!"
Pregnant with number 5, and having a home birth. Unmedicated, even with those moments where it seems unbearable, is infinitely better for me.
Lol! That's too funny. But I'm surprised they took your husband's word over yours? No offense, I'm just curious about that.
Haha yes the crazy talk kicks in. My second and third birth I was near the end and I said take me to the hospital and cut the baby out. 😂 A signal for my husband, the baby is coming now
#5 RELATE. I was falling asleep between contractions toward the end there.
#2 is the only one I don't relate to--weirdly enough, I just never hit that point. I think it's because I knew it was so common that I was determined just to see the thing through.
Yes! I was in transition at 9 cm for 4 hours at the borth center and the midwives were like “go take a nap” it was amazing I pushed for 20 minutes and babe was born 🥰
These “7 things” are super thoughtful and practical. Thank you for sharing. 🤗
I had a condescending nurse in the PICU that I still remember after my 2nd baby was born. He had some medical issues and she talked down to me like I didn’t know how to take care of a baby (like even saying we weren’t swaddling correctly which was 100% untrue). I was so shocked by how abrasive she was I couldn’t even respond. Also, my husband and I are capable adults, im a pharmacist and he is a physical therapist. It was a lesson in how to never speak to patients.
Oh man, my midwife had to break my water with my first. I was at a 10 and had been but my water wouldn’t pop so she did it. Baby was born probably 45 minutes after that lol. My sister said I kept saying “there’s just so much pressure” second baby is due in august! Hopefully things go as well this time around, if not better. Been loving your channel, it’s a great refresher for me!
Babies can be born without the waters breaking at all. It's called being born in the caul and happened with my 5th baby :)
As a Doula this really hit different. Trusting yourself and your team is so important.
I’d love to hear your perspective on if virtual services would be helpful?
Toilet sitting! Yes!! Couldn’t agree more lol. Did the trick with my three unmedicated births!
Thank you so much for your videos. I was well prepared and in a good state of mind thanks to you. I was planning on giving birth in a birth center but then I had to be moved to the hospital to be induced. Induction was hard, holy moly! In my head I was considering my options - epidural, C-section - even though I really wanted an unmedicated birth. I wonder if this was already transition. Long story short, your breathing videos were with me throughout active labor and downbreathing during pushing phase and helped me to do it all unmedicated. Thank you so so so much Bridget. Even the hospital midwife was amazed how good your videos were and how nicely I went through the birth process.
Laughing a bit. With my 1st birth, when I told my hubby this is bad I need an epidural, the nurse came to check me and said it was too late for one. Then my mind sort of went "ok fine, it's game time then" lol. Did it fine unmedicated...
Thanks for this video Bridget!
I wanted to give birth in a birthing center or at home so badly but my insurance wouldn't cover anything other than a hospital birth. I had prolonged rupture of membranes and baby was in an occiput posterior position. The nurses were pushing for an induction for at least half of my labor because they were scared of infection and eventually I couldn't advocate for myself anymore and said yes. I ended up being 8 cm dilated for 2 hours and finally got an epidural. By the time they got it in me I was at a 9.5. I was sooo close! Who your provider is matters so much because you are just so so vulnerable during labor.
Wow sounds so similar to me, had PROM for 69 hrs before my daughter was born meant I had to stay in the hospital to labor Mon-Thurs with doctors and nurses coming every hr to “monitor the baby” aka keep me awake badger me with scary complications and tell me I need to be induced. By Thurs morning I was so exhausted and my body started pushing I think to help baby flip from OP and I asked for an epidural. After that they gave me pitocin and cytotec and all the lines and catheters! Luckily my epidural started to wear off so I was able to tell them when I was ready to push and to maneuver my own body into the position I wanted!
@@alishamassa I'm so sorry this happened to you. But it makes me feel comforted to hear your story, as it is quite similar to mine. It sounds like you did an amazing job.
Your channel is invaluable thank you for all you do
Thank you so much for this video!! I’m 33 weeks with my first, and I love your videos! This helped me not feel fearful. I’m feeling more confident thank you!
I know that there are tons of great OBGYNs out there. I work in one hospital but so many people I work with are surprised when I tell them that I would be giving birth at this other larger hospital. I had a lot of reasons for that. One they have a higher level care for adults and for neonates. So say something was wrong- I could stay in the same place as my baby even if I was sick. This was a great comfort to me that even if something went south I could be wheeled down to be with my baby. Also- all the things I thought I’d really have to fight for like low intervention or delayed cord clamping or immediate skin to skin or allowing free movement during at least early to mid parts of my labor, they said they do those things already as part of regular practice for all those who deliver. I labored a lot on a peanut ball, I pulled out my own baby and immediately he was placed on my chest and the cord wasn’t cut for at least 15 minutes. The midwife I had also was phenomenal and her coaching me and her supporting my perineum and keeping oil on me with every contraction I believe she’s why I didn’t tear. So I said for all those reasons I wanted to do it at this hospital and preferably again with a midwife. My first did warn me that the triage nurses when I first go in wouldn’t be sweet. She reassured me they were excellent and experienced nurses but they lacked in bedside manner and that once I got to the L&D floor the nurses there would be so much better. And that was also true lol
I wish I would’ve known how many people are actually in the room for a hospital birth, It was just us and the nurse. then when the Dr. Came in, about 5 others came in with him. Everyone was amazing, but super overwhelming and I ended up crying because I got flustered. Thankfully I had an amazing team with me.
That’s why hospital births honestly suck. Because doctors and nurses don’t respect a woman’s privacy and realize how much of a vulnerable state she is in. To bring in 5 other people is ridiculous and unnecessary, But I’m not surprise since you had a male doctor. Men have no idea what’s it’s like to be a laboring woman. You should really choose a female next time for the sake of your self respect
Yesssssss.. 3 hit home.. most of the staff for my daughter's birth were amazing. But one of the dr at my ob was terribly cold. Thankfully the nurses warned me, so i just let it go. But then in postnatal i had a nurse that was rough with me and my baby.. and that still haunts me. If you can, tour your ward before staying if choosing a hospital birth! (i had my daughter during a bad covid flare up in our area, so i had to have strings pulled in order to even SEE the birthing ward) Ask about the staff and ask other moms around you if they felt good during their stays.
As someone who went through a 5 day labor 3 months ago, I think it’s important to consider different physiologies - your pelvic floor, how much tension you carry in your body, how you respond to pain, and do you have endometriosis. These are just a few… This to say that sometimes breathing and relaxation isn’t enough, and that’s ok too. 💜
Are you vegan? That makes women very weak for labour
Do you have endo? I do, and am due in September. If you do, did you feel it affected the birthing process?
@@verifiedmama There is no science backing up this claim, not sure where you got. I am not, but know plenty of women who are and have had different labor experiences. :)
@@hipchicksknit I do. I took Bridget's course, I took a hypnobirthing course, planned on an unmedicated water birth. My OB, who was also a surgeon to remove my endo was right in that - most people with endo have muscle spasms of the pelvic floor, which becomes especially apparent in labor. Epidurals tend to help relax and speed up the process. I didn't want interventions, but in the end - I had to get on pitocin and get an epidural - and I could feel like my muscles were able to relax. In my case I had prodromal labor for 5 days, no sleep, and when water finally broke, my contractions were still not regular enough. Because I had meconium in the fluid and high blood pressure, we had to augment the labor. Luckily my hospital is very conservative with interventions, so I felt I was in good hands. My muscles ceased up so bad, I couldn't pee. At that point I wasn't going to be a hero while endangering my child, so I went with what needed to be done in the moment. This is why I made my comment. In the space of "natural" or better said, unmedicated birth, I feel like everything is a bit black and white when it comes to talking about interventions. Don't feel bad if labor doesn't go the way you "planned" it.
If I were you I would go to a pelvic floor physical therapist asap AND after birth. It's standard in Europe - can really help with high tone muscles and aid in upcoming labor.
@@respectfullymama thank you for sharing! I had excision surgery last June, and am currently in pelvic floor therapy. Holding it all with an open hand and definitely know that an epidural is an option, and hoping that a c-section won’t be necessary, but with two abdominal surgeries under my belt in the last 3 years, I at least have a recovery routine for that 😂
Thank to you Bridget I had amazing labour ❤️
I’m very happy and thankful I found your advises on you tube , there is so little knowledge about good labour out there , what you do is so meaningful and help many people, wish you the best ❤
This is such amazing info! Like truly everything you say is so spot on and I relate to SO MUCH. Thank you!!
i watched your videos and you are amazing i used your breathing techniques during initial contraction.but I'm sorry i couldn't take the pain and i used epidural.i just couldn't my eyes were rolling back and the laughing gas causes me to vomit non stop. the pain was so intense but during pushing they did reduce the epidural and i felt the most intense pain ever in my life.now it's all over and i don't think i could do it again.but i still think you are amazing.
God bless you🙏🏻 thank you for your work. You are helping me so much
Would you recommend picking up meditation during pregnancy to prepare for birth?
I delivered my second baby 2 months ago and it was my *dream* birth! I could go on and on about how amazing it was. I prepared using the advice you give on this channel and want to say THANK YOU! I’m curious if you are familiar with the fetal ejection reflex? I am pretty positive I experienced it because I did not have to “push” at all!
The straining feeling without the straining.. I realise this doesn't always happen when my (only 2 years older then me) uncles wife had her twins 11 weeks premature. As they are more like friends to me he asked "why didn't anyone explain to her she needed to push very hard".
We replied confused "it's a sensation urge, it's automatic".
but now I understood
I agree with all you've said and I want to say - #7 is especially true!
Your energy is helping me remain so calm. I love your videos. ❤️
Thank you so much for your amazing, very informative, and helpful content! I am not even pregnant yet although my husband and I are looking to start trying in the next few months. But your heart, your words, and your encouragement brought tears to my eyes as I watched this video. I was also filled with so much excitement for pregnancy and birth! Thank you for what you are doing and for your heart to help and support mama's and parents in their pregnancies, labor, and beyond! It means a lot.
I had to switch OBs at 38 weeks. I told him I wanted a natural birth and he told me that birth is a "nighmare experience" that is "bed crawling agony" and I should just get an induction and epidural.
He then gave me a cervical exam so roughly I bled a lot (I have had no bleeding problems prior) but he said this meant I should just get a cesarean.
I'm so nervous about having him there when I go into labor, but have no one else.
What advice do you have for those with health anxiety?
# 2 Point really helped me a lot. Thank you for all your videos. Helped me a lot with my first so much more with my current birth to my 10 lbs 1oz baby. I was induced, but didn't ask for epidural..
I love your videos... I'm from South Africa and Doulas aren't widely accepted, I am hoping for a VBAC, currently 22wks with baby no3. Your videos are my zen...
Hi there! Love your videos. Do you have any insight into how to exercise your autonomy with the medical professionals during birth? I think a lot of us feel there is such a power differential between us (as laboring/delivering patients) and the medical professionals and when I gave birth to my first child, I would say what I wanted but it was easy for me to back down/say "or whatever you think" to the medical staff even if we have strong feelings about what we want. I did give birth in a hospital with an ob/gyn, so that differs a little (im assuming) from a home birth. Any insight on how to be direct and stand firm with our birth plan while also being respectful towards the staff (because for people like me, I really don't have any experience and I never want to put my health or baby's health at risk, especially when it's something I know little about.) For example, delayed cord clamping, asking for a different provider, holding off on formula/asking for formula when feeding isn't going as expected, labor positions (long story short, I have a tailbone injury and HAD to stay on my back the entire labor and kept asking to move but it was the policy that everyone births on their back. With this new pregnancy, I learned that's not true. It was just the preference of the provider on staff at the time.), etc. Thank you!
This is such an important issue, thank you for raising it, and all the best for your second pregnancy!
@@mariannecotte6141 thank you so much! 🥰
Yes, please do a video about this!! I want to advocate for myself but feel “less educated” as well. ❤️
I’m so glad I found your channel! You have helped me so much! 35+ weeks :)
Great Video!
Sipping Gatorade during labor helps with energy. I've nibbled on something through all my labors, they've all be around 10, 12 or 14 hours of real labor. That must be why I was not expecting you to mention being tired. My kids keep me busy at home but I don't exercise outside of walking and usually gain a lot of weight. If you're worried about energy just eat while you're at home and sip an electrolyte drink at the hospital. I think I've even eaten small amounts of food at the hospital but I can't remember what.
Same across the board!
Once I realized I was actually in labor, I ate a giant bowl of cereal, and had a big cup of water I made it a point to sip on between each contraction. I didn't feel exhausted during my labor. Mentally perhaps, at the end (unsupportive nursing staff hollering at me to push so much the word lost it's meaning) but physically I wasn't and I attribute that to eating and drinking during labor.
I should have done that! I'm planning to with this pregnancy. My two babies before this all started active labor RIGHT before I was about to go to bed, so I labored with no sleep! 29 hours with my first, I must have been awake for roughly 40 hours and was literally falling asleep in between pushes (like, good REM sleep, I was actually dreaming).
Bridget! I’m back to your videos for baby #3. You’re incredible and I’ve missed learning all about this. I need to brush up on my skills lol
Thank you so much for this! The being spoken to gracefully really resonated with me as I had a similar situation with a routine checkup. What is the best course of action if that care provider is the provider on call for your delivery?
I wish I had more choice on what will happen with my birth…it’s my first time giving birth but also in a rural area in a foreign country where English isn’t the first language. I don’t have choices such as an active birth or epidural, or any pain medication. I can’t have anyone with me, including my husband due to harsh Covid restrictions. I’ve had to argue with my doctor to not give me an unnecessary X-ray pelvimetry at 37 weeks, which made me stressed. I have no choice but to be alone and in a room full of people I don’t really trust, but I hope that I can be as calm as possible during my birth.
Not pregnancy related but where is your necklace from?
Thank you!❤
Any moms here with hyperemesis gravidum? I'm planning a natural birth, and am trying to build endurance for birth throughout pregnancy, but with HG and what all that entails, I feel like I will be underprepared when it comes time to give birth. Anyone here have any tips or positive, natural birth experiences with HG?
Hi Hannah!
I had HG with my third! In my opinion, going through that is worse than labor.
Do your best to hydrate. That's the key thing. I found chewing on ice chips helped. For nausea, carbonated things (stay away from soda, too much sugar) like carbonated water, Jones soda (sugar free) helped settle my stomach a little. But hydration is tantamount, that's the biggest danger of HG for you and baby!
If you are hydrated, birth will be easier, this is universal for HG and births where HG wasn't present.
I had a nurse who the whole first part of my labor just felt like she was annoyed with me or didn't want to be there. She had actually checked my cervix and I heard her say "oops" under her breath and then she left the room. After a few minutes went by i felt as if my water broke, when I told the nurses aide she said "let me go let the nurse know". The nurse came in and acted as if she was completely surprised that my water had broken. I just have a feeling that when she said oops, she knew she had accidentally popped my water, but pretended as if she didn't even know. It really makes me upset thinking back on it, but I'm a people pleaser so I didn't say anything in the moment.
Do you have a list of what questions to ask a birth center? Any tips pls?
BRIDGET Teyler-
Do you have any videos about what to do or where to get info if you're considering an At-Home birth? I love your videos, & this one hit me emotionally big time because I would love to be able to have more control of my own birthing situation. Unfortunately, an OB hospital birth just doesn't feel empowering, comfortable, or very open to be influenced by the mother. I'm not speaking bad of healthcare workers, but for me that's exactly how the experience was; simply going through motions with prompts that had no consideration or empowering emotion to help encourage me. I would just love to get some good info on this to decide if it'd be right for my family, & even a possibility where I live.
P.S. I am a huge fan of your content already.
Can you make a video about HG? I’m terrified that I won’t have any energy during birth due to the lack of nutrients in my body
Great tips! Obviously everyone is different but would you recommend a home birth for a first time mama? Or do you think in most cases, giving birth in a hospital gives first time mum’s a bit more peace and comfort (given that they haven’t been through labour before)
I had my first at home and it was amazing. I felt safe and in control the whole time. But if you would feel more secure in a hospital you'll be able to relax more and thats major.
What if you come out GBS positive? What are the best options to labor at home as long as possible?
This was wonderful
Why is there a registration for mini birth class..its making it difficult plz upload it here plz Bridget plzzzzzz
Hello! Any thoughts about placenta encapsulation?
What I wish I knew:
Bloody show can happen in transition, and it can look like a giant clot.
Currently pregnant with our 5th. Our 4th was my first unmedicated labor. Labored all night, by myself essentially, 4year old was sleeping on the couch with me and I wanted hubby to get rest (he has trouble sleeping). I was comfortable, content, and it wasn't even painful. It was pressure. I felt peaceful. Stopped timing them eventually except checking periodically because it took me out of my headspace.
Around 5 am, I went to the bathroom and (gross TMI but I want to share so others don't panic like I did) a big glob of blood came out, it looked like a tennis ball sized clot. I absolutely freaked out. Everything I had read told me this meant something was wrong.
In laws lived an hour away, so I had to drive myself while hubby waited at home with the kids for my in laws to get there. Got to the hospital, showed them the picture of it as they checked me. I was at an 8, and they said "oh, that's just your show! It can look like that when you dilate rapidly!"
All that panic for nothing -but on the upside, if that hadn't happened I very definitely would have had an accidental unassisted home birth, because labor was NOT bad until I started panicking.
What do you think about placenta encapsulated????
I have been watching your videos since I got pregnant but even though I have prepared myself thoroughly for birth (or at least so I thought) it was a horrible experience for me. Many things that I wasn't in control of overlapsed and made just awful, left me feeling broken as a woman.
With my first I had false labor and before I even had my hospital gown on they were telling me to take out my piercings in case I needed a C-section. I just got there. And yes she was an older woman.
My birth experience (first child) was a nightmare because in the hospital they induced my labor and I couldn't go anywhere or drink or eat for all the time. I entered the hospital at 5am and gave birth by c section at 2am the night after. I cried when while I was pushing they told me I had to have the c section. I watched plenty of your videos during my pregnancy and loved them, buty reality was so frustrating
I have a dear friend who has 5 children, and they've all be C-sections. She's a very hardy, granola, do-it-yourself kind of gal, and I know it impacts her deeply. She wanted a med-free birth so badly.
Her first child, who she had at 19, has spina bifida, and needed to be delivered like that. She couldn't have a VBAC because of the neonatal surgery they performed on her firstborn (who despite being told she wouldn't live a year, is thriving and walks with crutches). She did the right thing for her daughter and subsequent children, and so did you. I know that might seem like the only good thing, but it's incredibly important.
If you're struggling, try taking sam-e by Nature's Trove. I found it was great to stabilize my moods when I had postpartum depression. I also had a friend take it who was struggling with depression, and it gave her a much needed edge on her feelings.
I truly hope you complained to the hospital about the nurse and wrote a letter to the doctor that pulled your baby out with unnecessary intervention that hurt.
Thank you so much for all of your helpful videos! I have a question. My son was born prematurely at 34. He was poor born at 6.7 lb and very healthy except for some jaundice. They ended up taking his blood so much that his foot wasn't able to give blood anymore. I was so extremely uncomfortable with this but didn't know what was necessary and what wasn't. I even made sure to wait for all the fluid to transfer through the Angela's afford like one of your videos had talked about. They are already saying with this baby I'm having right now that they're going to take her blood every 15 minutes because I have gestational diabetes. How do I go about finding out what is necessary to get blood taken? What are the necessary things given to my baby?
Umbilical cord* lol
Sorry. I use my mic to type.
#7!!!!! i ended up giving birth on the toilet! baby didnt fall into it bc nurse and doctor held her but yes #7!!!! things moved so fast that i pushed a little too much...i had 1st degree tear in my labia. wish i pushed lighter :)
❤ your outward beauty matches your inward beauty
Did something happen to your IG?
I noticed that too, thought I was going crazy! 😅
I will never forget the way the midwife at the hospital treated me. Her face is etched in my brain.. i will remember her if i see her again. I had no choice in the matter for my own labor.
Having my first homebirth next month with baby #8 and so scared of the pain
Love your videos... currently 36 and 2 days with my 5th, your videos keep my anxiety at bay... I watch them at least once or twice a day..
Thank you for giving us your heart when it comes to give birth no matter what number it is.. 1st or it's your 5th like me...
🤪
I am also about 37 weeks with my 5th and I feel like I've gotten so much judgement and side eyes for having a 5th baby. But I love my little brood and I wouldn't change it. Maybe because I also came from a big family..I feel like once you pass the all American 1.5 kids with a white fence and golden retriever then the unsolicited comments and advice begin to pour in. 😒
Good luck with your #5🥰🥰🥰🥰
Well my first birth was traumatic because I was young and had incompassionate hospital care and then my last birth was a precipitous labor (under 1.5 hours from the first hard contraction to my water breaking and less than 30 minutes later to birth) and I delivered her myself in my living room. So I know anything can happen with any birth. This time I'm planning a home birth (on purpose this time haha) and think at least I'll be in a more comfortable and peaceful environment. Between pregnancy anxiety and the judgement from having a 5th baby is just giving me additional hot flashes 😄 🤣 😂
Omg! I’m not alone! I’m on number 5 and although I did this before my anxiety is at an all time high! I’m trying to manage it and breath but I’m more fearful with this one than any of the others. I wasn’t afraid with the others but this one I’m so afraid. But I know we got this!!!! We were built for this! Congratulations ladies! And good luck❤️
I had an epidural birth in the hospital, and a med free home birth. I've given much thought to how to fairly describe labor to someone (man or woman) who hasn't experienced it.
Functionally, contractions are basically a large group muscle cramp. You can add-in the ring of fire from crowning after that, which feels like the skin on your privates being stretched well beyond where they normally would.
Mentally. Ah, mentally. It's like having to step on a nail every 5 minutes, for 8 hours. At least, that was my experience of labor, which was very difficult. Both of my children were born posterior, which intensifies things. I've really wondered how I would experience an anterior birth, but I don't expect I'll have one. Nearly 7 months along with my third now! Preparing differently for this one, for sure. I've been drinking red raspberry leaf tea since pre pregnancy (he's actually an embryo adoption) and throughout the entire pregnancy. I'm also taking cod liver oil, and really focusing on protein intake. Finally, for labor I have some herbal tinctures and homeopathics that will hopefully be used as comfort measures. Hopefully those make a difference :)
Did you have your baby? How did it go? I found I underestimated the pain of pushing/crowning because I heard so often it was a relief after the contractions. I was happy to get to that point but once it began it was other worldly the feeling. Thank God it was 3 pushes for me, he was posterior as well (my 4th, I had 3 epidurals prior)
I am due tomorrow.and my baby is weighing approximately 3.8kgs in our recent ultrasound.apart from weight ,all other things are super normal readings and healthier pregnancy…can i have vaginal unmedicated birth of my baby with that weight
My doctors were horrible to me. I wasn't even pushing for very long until they made me have a c section. I don't know if I will have another baby because of how traumatic it was. It was literal hell.
I really don't like the people who pull the babies head for the rest of the body to come out, it looks so painful for the baby.
That can be a dangerous thing to do
Also I'm a little worried about my physical health/stamina for labour as I have spd this pregnancy so haven't been exersizing more than just normal day to day activities (for some reason even pushing the trolly doing the food shop causes me a lot of pain and makes it hard to walk the rest of the day so I don't want to make anything worse but definitely feel stiff and sluggish from lack of physical activity any advice would be much appreciated and sorry for all the questions lol xx
Not Bridget, but I totally relate. On my third pregnancy and I can barely get my chores done from being exhausted all the time. Literally laying on the floor while my two toddlers play around me lol and I certainly can't stand or walk for very long...
Personally, I've been doing the Every Mother program. It's not free, but they have you do 10 minutes of core compressions every day, which is at least something. I've been focusing on that, the pregnancy-safe workouts they offer as I'm able, and red raspberry tea for the whole pregnancy so my uterus is at least in shape lol.
Would you give birth at home if it was a vbac? I'm currently 34+4 with my 3rd child (first daughter spontaneous labour at 40+1 second daughter spontaneous labour at 40 weeks 106 hours of on off labour with weirdly weak Contractions (I wish I knew why the Contractions were so mild) then at around 7cm dilated an emergency c section due to poor heart rate and nuchal cord) currently pregnant with my first son and planning a home waterbirth vbac I live three hours away from all my family so the only way my partner can be with me is if I homebirth as otherwise he would have to stay home with our youngest daughter and I'd have to labour alone in hospital so long story short I'm planning a hbac largely out of necessity but also I've lost faith in the medical system a bit the last couple of years but yh lol would you birth at home if it was a vbac? My c section was 5 years ago xx
Mannn, I’m going to be on ALERT mode with any provider coming into my personal space if I get any bad vibes immediately Im telling them “I do not give you consent to be here/do this”
8:50 me thinking baby might fall into the toilet 😂😂
Speaking to point #3... in general my hospital team was awesome during my first birth (I ended up having an emergency c-section after about 18 hrs of labor), but I distinctly remember an older nurse helping me to transfer to another bed about an hour after my c-section. I was groaning and moving very slowly, and she chuckled under her breath and said, "It's not like you're dyyyyying or anything"... I just can't believe someone would say that to a mom at one of the lowest points (physically) in her life!
28 weeks and why am I crying
Cam you better talk to that baby!
from all the videos that I have watched on youtube of birth in hospitals and birth at home, the ones that make me more uncomfortable/anxious are the ones in hospitals. The sound of the machines, the people in and out, the lights, most of people pushing laying on their back or being induced with Pitocin to "move labor along", etc. All these things have been present in at least 90% of the videos I watched, even when they said "gentle vaginal birth" or any title like that. Even the "unmedicated births" were very intrusive from the medical team.
I know I would have a harder time birthing in a hospital than at home for sure.
Of course if it's medically necessary I would go to a hospital for my baby's life and mine.
I've had four hospital births, one of those unmedicated.
My current pregnancy will be a home birth, for everything you listed here. It SUCKS.
Im confused. Is the free “mini birth class” really just a 2min trailer of the full course??
But but.. you said 'not painful' but you say also there is a moment you wanted an epidural..
Which was it then, painful or not? Not calling pain by its name can be chocking if someone starts to experience it, no?
I actually told the DR NOT to pull her out and she did anyway
15 weeks with my first today. I'm 38 years old and plus size and I have been bullied and harassed by medical professionals my whole life.
I know that many plus sized women experience this,especially during birth. Most of the women in my family look like me and have been bullied into C sections and epidurals and are seen as "not healthy enough" to have a home birth. It's ridiculous, because if you know anything about genetics or epigenetics you know you can healthy, beautiful, and sexy while also being fat.