I've been dealing with the same thing. It truly is a constant and very difficult struggle. Not knowing when to make eye contact, and avoiding eye contact when having conversation. Too busy, unintentionally focused on trauma that has deeply affected me over the last few years (and beyond), feeling insignificant, and that my accomplishments in life are so much less than everyone else's, due to trauma I've been through and being a caretaker all my life for my mom and putting others' needs before my own. Stay strong. Stay dedicated. It may be difficult, but with perseverance we can get through this.
@@terrapinflyer273 it is a very painfull experience.i would like start a campaign fighting this horrible.its an inhuman dehumanising experience especially if it caused by trauma.Dissociation related to truama it is very painful experience
I was a participant in a group therapy session when someone else had a full fledged flashback. She was terrified, it was if the trauma was happening all over again. The group facilitator took charge of the situation and talked her down. Poor girl, I really hope she's doing better now and was able to salvage some happiness for herself. It was very sad.
Now im doing my level best to overcome from disociation That's im interested in doing the realitistic things what the normal peoples will do but those things or works are completely devoid of logic. And then that caused me a mouth breathing little bit. And then this disorder is associated with the anger and burnout signs Will u pls clarify which episode is this in disociation
So glad to read the therapist could noticed it. Not my experience. I dissociated in group therapy, triggered by the story of a groupmember about his father. Implicite emotions and feeling cut off reality. So very frightening. Another groupmember noticed me not going well. But...not me in the picture that moment. Had to wait. After the session there was attention. But I was totaly gone. Riding emotions, by feeling so madly angry. And so despate. What I thought was related to the members father. How could he dare to treat his son that way. It costed me, and the therapist, an immens effort to be willing to come back. I literally feel stuck and prisoned. Very alone. And immense sad too. Did not want to come back either. Somewhere noticing real concern, made me afraid what they might do/decide to do. Made me so afraid I forced meself to come back. To make eye contact, altough not really seeing them. After some time calm enough ( hour or more) I was able to drive home. Parked my car and then a hudge rage came up. It made me feel not able to manage it well enough. The rage was to my father and what he did to me.
I just want to let everyone know, you can get out of this, and there's so much life waiting for you on the other side. I struggled with this for about a year or two, but when I had it, it felt like it's all I've ever known and I forgot what it felt like to be 'normal', I didn't even really know what was wrong with me. I had my family as a support system even though I didn't ask for it and tried pushing them away. I was in a way forced into treatment by loved ones, and many different treatment options didn't work. But at some point, I set my mind that I was going to get out of it no matter what, and eventually, I found therapy that actually worked and I did start feeling again. It was a gradual process, and painful when it felt like the changes were insignificant and that at the end of the day I was still stuck, exactly the same, a living breathing corpse, and that the world is stuck like this from now on. Even after I set my mind to it, it still felt like something unattainable and impossible, but I kept trying and had to hold on to the hope that one day it just wouldn't be like this anymore. I had to keep trying to feel something, feel at least one moment of a positive emotion everyday, even if it was still detached. And then eventually I got to the point where I was happy again, I was enjoying things, even though my life was still technically uneventful and bland. But then a few months later it REALLY happened. I went into the new school year, the same building as last year, but something clicked. I had new friends, all sorts of new relationships, new experiences, and at some point, I was all of a sudden alive again. Everything changed, I mean, everything. I remembered this is how it felt to be 'normal', it felt like I was finally home. I could see again, and colors were bright and vibrant again, everything looked completely different than the world I thought I was stuck in before. Everything had a feeling too. It actually felt like my chest and throat were soaring, like I wasn't a statue anymore and I was flying. I almost never cry, and at the beginning of that year, (and even now sometimes) I cried at night out of joy, full on sobbing that this was my life now and it really was possible, I did it. So don't give up, I know that you can do it, you really can.
@@aaronrayk Yes-cold water on any pulse point can help from naseua to acting as a touchstone. If you don't know the whole trauma/memory I don't recommend using scents that way-it can be a traumatic trigger. Can confirm, lol.
@@DrTraceyMarks I bet it must be interesting working with so many different people and conditions and therapies. Do you think it might be difficult to diagnose someone if they have overlapping symptoms like missing periods of time that are unaccounted for? And do you think it may factor into some misdiagnoses of either condition?
I also have DID and I feel like if we can work on integration and/or being co-con then we can all work on these techniques until we’re more whole and healed... I don’t know... I wish I had a clear answer too... it sucks
@@DrTraceyMarks I don't know why people question it. Nothing to me is solid in the DSM. I definitely believe in severe dissociation. I believe in the human condition for whatever it is for the person. Im definitely disconnected from my thoughts and emotions. So much so it gets me in trouble. I'm working on that now. Love your videos and giving us a place to talk.
How are you now. What helped you. I have Dissociation almost every Day. I am trying to heal with emdr alone. I can talk about my trauma more calm but it helps slow
When I was really sick a few years ago i started writing down, "I am healthy and strong" or saying it to myself anytime I had to get up and move or was dealing with the fear that I was dying. It's the only way I got through that illness. When I'm dissociating however, I usually can't form cohesive thoughts so what I've found that helps me most is ice. The sharp coldness "snaps" me back to reality.
I used to splash cold water on the back of my neck as a kid from time to time to snap me out of weird feeling I had. I may try that again. Thank you for reminding me. 🙏🏻✨
That can be counterproductive if what you really feel is the opposite. Maybe "I am sick now, but will heal up healthy and strong" would be a more healthy way to do that?
I've been researching for so long now on what I'm going through, for a while I started to think I might be going crazy or insane. After listening to your video I know now what I'm going through and it comforts me that there is ways to cope and heal. I wasn't sure I could heal from this at first. Thanks a lot it was so helpful!
felt that. but even my dreams don't want to capture the true event, rather it's a manifestation of the trauma and every time I wake up from it I have to reassure myself that it's not happening out of breakdowns and panic ope
When my mother, who was terminally ill was living with me, something very traumatic happened that started in my house and continued on in the hospital. When I got home from the hospital, I watched some TV with my husband in an effort to feel less traumatized and more normal. But when we went to the kitchen, I remember looking at him and thinking, "It's like I am in a parallel universe and nothing here is real -like that's not my countertop and this is not my kitchen. It's like it just looks like my stuff." Even my husband felt unreal, or part of that parallel world. It wasn't comforting. I just wanted everything to feel normal again. But, of course, because of what I'd experienced with my mother that day, I knew nothing would ever be normal again. In the end, I was wrong. I did feel normal again in time. ❤️
thank you very much for this video !!! ive been diagnosed with complex ptsd for a few years, and i feel dissociated and disconnected to a point where i have very flat emotions, and bad events/potential harming events dont seem to reach me, it got worse by each event. i forget those things really quick, but as much as my mind somehow dont let these events get to me, the positive things in life seem to pass by as well. i mostly feel like out of time/in another dimension with different rules, like time passes differentley, everything is blurry. and i have a really slow reaction time to things. anyway, thank you very much, i hope you have a great day, dr marks !
I naturally discovered the mental list of things I’d need to tell myself to get out of my dissociative state, a lot of reminding myself that “yes, you’re ok, things are infinitely better now” and those things work very well for me! Looking forward to your next technique video ☺️♥️
@@sanya3398 What can I do to stop my dissociation and derealization? I experience it 24/7 constantly and it gets either better or worse. I dont wanna feel like that forever....
I dissociate and it is very embarrassing. The challenge is that I don't realize that it is happening and I can stay in that place for extended periods of time. I miss meetings, don't remember conversations, I don't remember people's names or times when might have worked together. It is just gone, until I come back. It is not until people around me start asking me what is going on that I start to realize what is happening. This stems from childhood. Of the 10 Adverse Childhood Experiences, I experienced 8. I might go very long periods between dissociative episodes so I think that I am better then something will trigger me and off I go. It is really frustrating.
After losing half my family in tragic car accident back in December of 2013, I think I went through every single emotion possible trying to survive such complicated grief. I like to think I’ve healed as much as one can heal but as of recently, I’m being told that I lack emotions, or empathy when it comes to disagreements or the feelings of another in a new relationship. I just feel like once you’ve been through such extreme emotions, things don’t effect you the same way or the way they would for a person who has never experienced such trauma before. Apparently, my heart is made of stone as I’ve been told.
I think if anything says your heart is made of stone after knowing you lost half of your family might want to evaluate their own bag of sh!t. Sending love your way
@@ecb1979❤❤❤😂😂😂 Can you be my interpreter when I can’t seem to find the words to put someone in their place who really needs & has earned it 😂😂❤❤❤ Your response warmed my heart & made me chuckle. ❤ Thank you
my husband was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder in 2014. he had spent most of his life not being able to remember much of the childhood trauma. he is currently in therapy and being taught many of the techniques you described. he watched this video with me and remarked how valuable it is to help others. thank you, Dr. Marks; you have no idea how valuable you are to so many unable to get proper mental health treatment.
@@Peanuts76 a therapist who has specific training to deal with DID; it may take a while to find one who is qualified. it's also a matter of having support from family, which can be stressful at time on the family. I wish you the best
Any tips on how i can cope personally / help my new girlfreind ,I really like her a lot but she seems to need time alone and I dont understand, if you can help at all, thank you.
Thank you. This is me right now. It’s frightening. I’m in therapy and it’s helping. I began EMDR but I got so frightened I had to back out. My mind feels fragmented and I was frightened of re-traumatizing myself and more fragmentation. This has been my coping mechanism since I was a little girl and I couldn’t understand or handle the abuse.
Disassociating is my worst ongoing symptom of C-PTSD. When it hits I become completely detached from everything. I can't work, talk, focus, or even watch a movie. I have to take medication to help me sleep and then if it worked out I wake up and I'm either coming out of it or completely out of it. It usually works for me though. I have tried so many things but sleep is the only thing that fixes it
This happened to me multiple times since the murder of my son. The last time was the day I was preparing to view the crime scene and autopsy photos. I suddenly had a “mental break” and nearly spiraled into a panic, but my daughter is good with grounding me so brought me back to reality.
This made me cry! She litterally described exactly what I'm going through! It all makes perfect sense too! I'm so fortunate to come across that video but it hurts to see how common it must be to be in this video
i’m really scared because i found out what disassociation was in the last year and i have been experiencing it since i was so little. i don’t remember anything traumatic in my life at all. however i have extreme anxiety, a past with depression, and i overthink everything to the point that i need to calm down before having a panic or anxiety attack. i don’t want to jump to any conclusions of experiencing trauma but could there even be another explanation??
we all have different experiences in our lives that were traumatic. you may have something in your past that traumatized you without you realizing how exactly that specific thing affected you. alternatively, you could have childhood experiences that you don't remember anymore that were traumatic. and lastly, repeated messages we recieve throughout our lives, whether from family members, friends, or society/the media/coworkers/employers/teachers/etc. have a tremendous ability to cause trauma. being repeatedly told that it's not okay to be your true self is traumatic, and i think we all get that message throughout our lives (this message can take many forms, some more harmful than others).
My favorite phrase you said from this video was "What can you do about this?" It's a beautiful thing to know there is hope and thousands of ways to healing. I like hydrotherapy, psychedelic assisted psychotherapy, and other holistic methods. Complied trauma is heavy and can be heartbreaking and I know I have to do what needs to be done to keep my head above water 🙏🏾 I don't believe in CBT for trauma I know people who have committed suicide after reliving repressed memories brought up in therapy The grounding exercise kind of made me feel like I was in a war zone. My brain likes to dissociate to protect herself. Which yes has left really long periods of time I can hardly account for (years). But probably enables me to experience so much less pain. Update: I did enjoy the scent part of the grounding exercise. Currently sniffing some essential peppermint oil and I do feel more peaceful and more present. Thank you.
In my opinion EMDR is better for trauma and ptsd. Cbt makes me relive it and just ruminate as I have ocd as well…. Which then increases anxiety, depression, and then increases dissociation. Depending on the level of dissociation and the severity, grounding isn’t always possible or helpful. But emdr should help with this eventually.
I feel like I’ve been living detached from the world and watching myself live life like everything is fake for years I can’t remember since when this started but I know it’s time to get rid of this feeling
Thank you for your videos. I needed these. I have anxiety(diagnosed) and ADHD(undiagnosed). Going through a break up and these videos have made me feel so much better.
Thank you for your gift of clarity, eye movement suggestion triggered great memories of EMDR. (Sexual abuse trauma, reduced from 9' & 10's Full panic to 2-3's "I got this!" Your insight is great help for my narcissistic abuse. Respectfully, Darren
I have similar experiences. I was diagnosed with mpd in 1986 from sra EMDR 2014 such a breakthru! Now I only get flareups when I’m under stress. That’s easy to identify and we’re able to fuse/manage-basically back to a healthier me. Then if I stress out and flare up again rinse and repeat🙏🏼🌿🕊
This makes so much sense about why my memory was so cloudy. I was sexually assaulted about 2 years ago at work. I still couldn't remember the time and date but still have flashbacks. When HR investigated and asked me when it occurred, my mind was completely blank. I have an attorney who is helping and a wonderful counselor who told me about dissociation. My second time being raped was so detailed that I remember the time and day of the incident. I still don't know how I remember the second event. This video is so detailed that makes me cry and I don't know why.
Ever since I got back from my deployment to Afghanistan, I live a life heavily dissociated from what’s going on around me. Kind of sucks sometimes, but it is what it is.
My dad was a sniper-from Viet Nam to Saudi-and he struggled with the "real" world after every deployment. For him, it seemed to get MUCH easier once he walked away from the military, though still took years. I wish the best for you, and hope it gets easier to breathe soon...
God bless you. I’ve been on my mental health journey for 10 years. I’ve received more clarity in watching your videos for 2 days than I have in my 10 year span. I know where to begin in getting the proper treatment for my mental health and I can’t thank you enough 😭❤️🙏🏾
Thank you so much. I've been dosociating as as a defence mechanism to anxiety since I was little without realizing it. The techniques you gave are very helpful and I appreciate you.
Your the best mental health doctor. You really know what to do and want us to get better. Some methods I have used have helped me become mentally stronger, mindful. We make a choice to watch your videos, we make a choice to get better. Thank you.
Grounding is so hard to do when you go to 0 to 100 in 3 seconds. I lose my thinking brain and my hands shake and I go into fight or flight mode. I guess I need to pay attention to the warning signs I'm heading for trouble.
It can take awhile, and be super subtle. For me, breathing is a key indicator. Now I notice the change before I can even identify the trigger. You will get there, promise. You are trying to identify where in the process you can slow it down enough to regain some control-sort of a mental version of muscle memory. Eventually when you start to feel triggered that SAME sensation will also trigger your response. Does that make sense?
@@satonna4529 I get it! I’m working with a practitioner now, learning Feldenkrais method of mindful movement with breath, practicing very slow movements that my nerves “remember” and respond accordingly to stimuli, kind of like a muscle memory
I’m doing a lot of disassociation work and it’s so interesting how my brain will try to check out even on the lessons for healing. The hurt piece of me is so reliant on the disassociation to feel safe that even the idea of finding better coping strategies can trigger this reaction. As sad as it is that anyone deals with this, it’s been helping to remind myself that this is a creative solution that I came up with while I was young to be safe. It’s not healthy or useful anymore, and also this is a result of my consciousness caring for me. It isn’t the strategy I would choose for myself now but it does show the love I had for myself and the persistence I had to survive. Looking at this trauma response with compassion opened my eyes to a whole piece of my mind that I had been chronically ignoring.
These videos are great. Thank you for being very clear and professional without trying to be a TH-cam celebrity. It is really cool and much better than most things out there.
I love you so much, very informative and useful information, I don’t have enough words to say how much people like you helped me to heal from the abuse relationships I went through, I following you from Middle East, I am in recovery period right now and I will study psychology to help the people how have the same experience of mine, I am oncology nurse and I was suffering since I a child. While I am writing this comment my eye saw my profile picture and like I am seeing it for the first time. Looks like I was looking for to be saved since long time. May Allah bless you. Keep good work .
Thank you for this video. I had no idea what dissociation was or that I am someone who does this. Your message motivated me to seek out therapy for this and my past trauma.
I developed this power after my abusive marriage and divorced. I find it helpful but only when dealing with my abusive ex. I cannot change anything, so for now, it works, yet I know in the long term, will affect my perceptions.
It's a trauma response and it's easy to apply behaviors that once kept you safe to new circumstances. I like how you went into the subtle examples where it's not as extreme. For example, putting up walls or not letting relationships get too close. Using excuses to convince yourself it's better to be distant than to feel the potential of the vulnerable emotions that could come from letting someone in.
Somehow, I had developed this reaction to first dates. Even on my good days, where I’m in a mentally safe space and grounded, I would mentally freeze and disconnect from the experience. Luckily, videos like this and therapy, have gradually helped me manage this.
I had these strange surreal feelings after my divorce where everything around me didn't look real. It was like I was surrounded by cardboard cutouts; everything looked flat or like toys. This went on for months and I thought it would go away but then I was visiting a friend and started explaining these sensations then all of a sudden I was crying and it surprised even me. My friend quickly looked up the symptoms on the computer. Derealization was spot on... I didn't quite feel depersonalization although there were some elements of that with floating outside of myself but that wasn't ongoing. Basically walking outside (usually in a park with trees) and repeating to myself this is real and touching leaves, grass or a bench and sometimes eating outside helped me feel grounded. Even praying as I was enjoying nature and looking at the sky was a big help too. It took over a year to get over it.
I have this weird thing when I’m talking to someone i aspire to be. Every time i talk to people i look up to, i tend to zone out. It’s as if I’m dumbfounded and when i try to recall those moments i actually conversed intelligently but it weirdly feels like as if I was not there/ in the moment. And only after the whole conversation, I realized that “oops that actually happened”. This also weirdly applies when I’m put on the spot and have to do mental games, i tend to be competitive and eventually win but there’s always this feeling that I’m not that focused or in the moment and always feel confused how i won. (I told this to a group of friends and only got called out for humble bragging but I wasn’t, i was curious why i feel the way i do cause i feel confused all the time and it’s annoying how I’m always mentally absent but to others i seem okay) But I’m not exactly sure if this is the dissociative we’re talking about. On the bigger scale, i tend to cut connections with people here and there or every time I’m in my depressive months/ season.
I’m so glad I watched this! Great tips on grounding yourself when you feel overwhelmed. I’ll be near ppl who I try to trust but would rather keep it separate from my private life. I just want to get through the day!
This happens with Fibromyalgia and/or migraines. The body can’t endure the pain and stress of feeling sick all the time - the body shuts down. De-realization from my surroundings until I can rest long enough to calm down the flare and my cognitive dysfunction.
Agreed-on top of that, it screws with time perception! I lay down with a migraine and get up days later-on top of dissociative issues that can REALLY mess with your calendar.
Fibromyalgia is considered a mental manifestation of stress which in turn people describe as pain which in fact when patients are medically tested via blood for RA, or inflammatory markers, nerve testing even imaging all showing nothing present that would cause actual pain. It is this limbo term that really belongs in the mental health category. And nothing to be ashamed of but the more people understand FMS the better they can understand and be treated properly.
@@olliviermae I’m a Nurse that has been working in a Rheumatologist office for 7 years. I work directly under the physician and also do infusions for RA patients. So I live and breathe FMS, RA,OA patients and more EVERYDAY.
@@ぱ夏 He's saying that imagine what "advanced" hellish level of dissociation their brains must be producing to endure their life of continual captivity in Squalid conditions.
Thank you so much for making this video 🙏🏼 I was recently diagnosed with Borderline even though we knew for years i had it. I get dissociations almost everyday and never knew how to handle it, but this video is such a help, so thank you so much 🙏🏼☺️ (i have not recieved treatment yet, but i start friday)
Dr Marks, I think you could never be my local doctor because I find you absolutely gorgeous! On the other hand, I've never met a psychiatrist who taught me so much, providing so many deep insights on so many topics (this video specifically I'm watching to try and help a dear person). Thank you so much for all the knowledge you share. I certainly miss it in actual local consultations.
Thank you so much for this! I don’t have money for therapy but have realized that disassociation might be something I’m dealing with and this helped me a lot.
My English teacher keeps bringing up s*xual *ss*ult and I just kinda zone out and it’s like I’m in my body but it’s not me anymore. I wish I could email him and ask him to stop cause how am I meant to do good on tests when I fully can’t remember anything that happened
You're probably not in that class anymore but if this happens again in the future you have a right to email them and ask them to refrain from speaking about that subject as it is a trigger for you. You do not need to divulge any details. You should seek professional help at some point though to help you deal with this pain.
I'm really struggling with dissociation, flashbacks, memory loss, and extreme anxiety. Thank you for this video. I ordered a PTSD workbook and i hope to start trauma therapy soon. I'm trying to use sensory grounding but it's not working too well.. anyway I'm gonna work hard to heal. I hate this.. bless you again for putting this info out there.
May I add from my personal experience at least maybe it might help someone; Caffeine I believe is very seriously somehow linked to disassociation and depersonalization. I don't know how and of course all substances have their own effects - but since I have quit coffee and anything that contains caffeine the "spells" and intensity of the episodes/flashbacks have lessened. Your videos allow me to step back out of the chatter in my mind and for a moment remember that all these frightening things that happen are valid, have roots and are manageable - it's a very relieving powerful feeling even if for a short video. I think many of your viewers might agree. Thank you Dr. Marks I look forward to the next video :)
I'm so glad dr. Marks brought up the 54321. This is a great reminder and was actually given this technique by a grief counselor after my mother died. It worked when I used it and then I forgot about it so thank you Dr. M👍
Well, that's interesting to come across your video. I was recently talking about how I almost completely dissociated the other day; it's been a while since I've done it to that degree. It was rough bc in the moment I had the vague dispassionate thought "Oh, I'm doing this again. Ok then." But the person I was with had never seen me like that; they kept asking what was wrong and I suspect getting very frustrated when they barely got an answer. I'm working on getting back into therapy to explore (among other things) WHY that's one of my brain's go-to coping strategies sometimes, but in the meantime it was a big reminder to let people close to me know ahead of time that I do that sometimes. And your video a good reminder that there are therapies out there that can help. So thank you!
Thank you Tracey. I've just started dissociating after starting a full time job. I have no real memory of having a dissociative feeling while trauma occurred but there also could be trauma that I have amnesia from. I've tried all these grounding techniques you've listed but unfortunately none of them have been able to pull me out other than just seclusion and time. I'll be starting trauma therapy soon so hoping it helps. Thank you again x
Thank you for the information. I have been missing the needed information for years. It explains a lot about my relationship with family. I waited for years to hear the truth from my mother, but after hearing it, I shut down, and it took me nearly 5 years to gather the strong to acknowledge the facts of my childhood. It was hard to accept the truth about who my abuser really was. 🙏
Thank you for doing these videos. I liked the part when you talked about describing trauma and to say how long ago did the trauma take place, when and where etc.
Thank you so so much. I've met somebody and they remind me of a toxic relationship I had and I'm breaking down. I feel like I have nobody to talk to. Thank you so much.
That sounds like my sister. She seems very detached to people/ relationships. The only person she seems to care for is her husband. When I think of her I think of a robot.
My sister is the same way, except she got separated from her husband this year. Weird. She almost never answers calls or texts and she acts like a robot. We had a traumatic childhood. Hmm.
@@BeingBetter oh my goodness that is one of my fears. What would happen to her is she ever gets divorced. She has once mentioned to my mom that she would rather die. As far as I know they are doing ok.
Thank you so much for this video. You’re saving lives. Like literally. Can’t thank you enough. Please create more on this topic if possible. All the love.
This video is invaluable to me! The succinct and concise way you explained it plus the tips for dealing with it are perfect! Some of them I've been doing without even knowing are 'official methods' Thank you!
Thank you for the review. Had to deal with a homicidal DID episode. I knew what was going on while she was attacking me, so it was easy to stay calm and not retaliate. This was a product of trauma she had experienced fifty years earlier. It stays in there until effective therapy is done.
This topic is so helpful. Your descriptions are really useful for understanding what dissociation is, both what causes it and how it's experienced. I like that you use terms that are easy to connect with and understand. I also love that you mention how dissociation is protective during a traumatic experience, albeit maladaptive after the trauma. Thank you for mentioning useful treatments, too--I can definitely agree all those routes you mentioned are very helpful. Thanks again Dr. Marks!
i feel both very often during winter or just randomly usually when very stressed. i really hate the feeling...almost worse than depression because at least with depression you know yourself and somewhat sense your environment.
in a short amount of time ive had a lot of traumatic experiences and started to remember my childhood. ive been really strong for a long time but i have these moments that are really hard to describe but all thats going through my head is what happened to me and that i feel stuck. i also had a bad trip in between all of that but this video really helped i feel like i know whats wrong now you know?
Hi so wanted you to know.. ive been filling up a glass bottle (voss) of ice.. and it helps me break through the cold glass alone.. the text on lid. Helps. and also helps me know how long ive been in my head by how melted the ice is....and the 1 to 5 sensory is pure magic... my other half helps me by getting me to do this also asks me questions like how old are you, where do you live, what year ect when i am not clearly aware. So thank you again. And trust me my 3 children thank you
Wow. Tysm. I developed these techniques on my own over time. Its nice to hear confirmation. Guess I just need to keep doing what I've always done. At least now I feel renewed hope to engage with increased confidence and plan to be more assertive in my efforts. Sometimes it's all we need.
This can later be used to be Selfish - like when a child is getting abused the mother can conveniently Not Notice and Forget about it. Later the child is accused of lying.
@@DrTraceyMarks Not that different. People can learn to Dissociate to avoid painful memories brought up when their children are abused. It can continue to the next generation. Then comes Transference and the child is blamed.
I would like to tell anyone suffering from this.. YOU CAN HEAL YOURSELF! One amazing thing the body can do is rewire itself. It does take time, but it does happen. Don’t give up.
Can you make a video about dealing with dissociation from CPTSD/Dissociative disorders. My meds kinda help but that's it. It's to the point I don't know I'm doing it
@Sara Martinez I struggle with it too, it terrifies me, I don’t feel like I exist almost 24/7 especially in certain places like restaurants or places with certain lighting etc. I don’t know how to not be scared of it, it feels like any moment I’m just going to fade away or something. I’ve gone into complete panic attacks because of it 😞
This is great. But that’s the thing I have no idea about what the traumatic event was. I know it had to have been bad but can’t remember too much of anything
Hi Dr. Marks, I'm a school psychologist working in a private residential setting that serves children and adults with autism and intellectual disabilities. I have several individuals on my caseload that have co-occurring diagnoses of OCD, anxiety, and PTSD, just to name a few. I was wondering if you would consider doing a video on how mental illnesses can present in individuals with moderate intellectual disabilities. I'm mostly interested in trauma related disorders, especially dissociative disorders. I've done some of my own research, but haven't been very successful. I appreciate any insight you might be able to give. Thank you!
A lot of times when I’m not distracted or busy, I hear the sirens of the night my dad passed in my arms, and it sends me into a spiral of a false sense of then. I start to smell the alcohol on his breath and I’m the room, start to taste the aroma, and just be in this sense of when everything was okay. Eventually I’m brought back in what I’m barely learning is a PTSD episode while I try to come back to where I am now.
Thanks for being there. I searched disassociate and im so happy 😊 I came your video was top 5. I had a flare up and I cut my self. Then I disassociate. My mind escaped when I couldn't cope bc cutting shouldn't be an option. And a dude triggered it. 3 years later. So I dissociate and came up with a a plan. I decided to tell my future friends "I'm not gf material but I mean well so compensate me for my time". And that cured the feeling that made me snap. I dont don't want to keep being ran through by men and not get anything from it. Not a phone call cup of water after cooking cleaning sex etc. I recently learned that I should be careful who I do these activity with. Im glad I was able to dissociate. Just like a cut heals my mind had to heal. All the tips & questions the end help. I thought about my mom that recently passed. And all she left for me and how great she was and that I too could be somebody. Even if disassociate or for me cutting, im able to be made aware of why it happend. Bc it will and why is important in recovery so I won't act so nochelont.
I do research and have disacociation but also ASD Autism , an article I read concluded that weak habituatiors share a pattern of symptoms and that is anxiety delusional thinking paranoia disacociation , so my answer to this really is to take control of your home environment and learn how to habituate effectively and re create your life from the grass roots upwards
I dissociated during sexual trauma and eventually I had depersonalization disorder. I started doing it to escape the abuse but then I unconsciously started getting depersonalized because of my anxiety. I think depersonalization should be somehow related to PTSD. I wonder what's gonna happen when they update the dsm. They have to add cptsd. I definitely have memory lapses sometimes. If I start thinking about my trauma when I'm on a long drive i will lose chunks of time. Autopilot.
Im so frustrated zoning out of conversations and people thinking I'm not interested in what they're saying, but I do, but I can't help it 😭
I've been dealing with the same thing. It truly is a constant and very difficult struggle. Not knowing when to make eye contact, and avoiding eye contact when having conversation. Too busy, unintentionally focused on trauma that has deeply affected me over the last few years (and beyond), feeling insignificant, and that my accomplishments in life are so much less than everyone else's, due to trauma I've been through and being a caretaker all my life for my mom and putting others' needs before my own.
Stay strong. Stay dedicated. It may be difficult, but with perseverance we can get through this.
Same but when I zone out I end up staring at the person that’s talking to me and then they think I’m a weirdo
@@terrapinflyer273 it is a very painfull experience.i would like start a campaign fighting this horrible.its an inhuman dehumanising experience especially if it caused by trauma.Dissociation related to truama it is very painful experience
But when you talk you want people to listen right? Or
me
I was a participant in a group therapy session when someone else had a full fledged flashback. She was terrified, it was if the trauma was happening all over again. The group facilitator took charge of the situation and talked her down. Poor girl, I really hope she's doing better now and was able to salvage some happiness for herself. It was very sad.
💚💙💜❤ you have such a beautiful soul
@Max Olivia 🖤🖤🖤 love to you. i’m so glad you have safety in your partner.
Now im doing my level best to overcome from disociation
That's im interested in doing the realitistic things what the normal peoples will do but those things or works are completely devoid of logic.
And then that caused me a mouth breathing little bit. And then this disorder is associated with the anger and burnout signs
Will u pls clarify which episode is this in disociation
So glad to read the therapist could noticed it.
Not my experience.
I dissociated in group therapy, triggered by the story of a groupmember about his father. Implicite emotions and feeling cut off reality. So very frightening.
Another groupmember noticed me not going well.
But...not me in the picture that moment. Had to wait.
After the session there was attention. But I was totaly gone. Riding emotions, by feeling so madly angry. And so despate. What I thought was related to the members father. How could he dare to treat his son that way.
It costed me, and the therapist, an immens effort to be willing to come back. I literally feel stuck and prisoned. Very alone.
And immense sad too.
Did not want to come back either.
Somewhere noticing real concern, made me afraid what they might do/decide to do.
Made me so afraid I forced meself to come back. To make eye contact, altough not really seeing them.
After some time calm enough ( hour or more) I was able to drive home.
Parked my car and then a hudge rage came up. It made me feel not able to manage it well enough.
The rage was to my father and what he did to me.
@@arjavandijke4289 I'm so sorry that happened to you. Sounds like the therapist dropped the ball.
I just want to let everyone know, you can get out of this, and there's so much life waiting for you on the other side. I struggled with this for about a year or two, but when I had it, it felt like it's all I've ever known and I forgot what it felt like to be 'normal', I didn't even really know what was wrong with me. I had my family as a support system even though I didn't ask for it and tried pushing them away. I was in a way forced into treatment by loved ones, and many different treatment options didn't work. But at some point, I set my mind that I was going to get out of it no matter what, and eventually, I found therapy that actually worked and I did start feeling again. It was a gradual process, and painful when it felt like the changes were insignificant and that at the end of the day I was still stuck, exactly the same, a living breathing corpse, and that the world is stuck like this from now on. Even after I set my mind to it, it still felt like something unattainable and impossible, but I kept trying and had to hold on to the hope that one day it just wouldn't be like this anymore. I had to keep trying to feel something, feel at least one moment of a positive emotion everyday, even if it was still detached. And then eventually I got to the point where I was happy again, I was enjoying things, even though my life was still technically uneventful and bland. But then a few months later it REALLY happened. I went into the new school year, the same building as last year, but something clicked. I had new friends, all sorts of new relationships, new experiences, and at some point, I was all of a sudden alive again. Everything changed, I mean, everything. I remembered this is how it felt to be 'normal', it felt like I was finally home. I could see again, and colors were bright and vibrant again, everything looked completely different than the world I thought I was stuck in before. Everything had a feeling too. It actually felt like my chest and throat were soaring, like I wasn't a statue anymore and I was flying. I almost never cry, and at the beginning of that year, (and even now sometimes) I cried at night out of joy, full on sobbing that this was my life now and it really was possible, I did it. So don't give up, I know that you can do it, you really can.
Thank you, this gave me so much hope
I'm at the point that I even lost my will to live but trying really hard to get to my old self again and enjoy being alive again.
What type of therapy helped you?
I’m getting hope little by little 😢and I hope it works for all of us .In Jesus name, if you believe say Amen 🙏.
A wonderful comment
I dissociate all the time, it's so normal. It's the worst when I try to learn anything. It's so frustrating. Thank you for the tips.
dude dont say that i thought that it would get better with time
@@mewho4419 Ooh yeah my bad. I am going to be trying EMDR soon and some CBT. Cause yeah, it hasn't gotten any better. Maybe give them a go too?
There is moderate dissociation and extreme ones, I have experienced both. Extreme ones are quite scary, it makes everything feel dream like.
I've been running Ice cold water over my wrists for years without realizing that its an actual technique.
does that work??
@@aaronrayk Yes-cold water on any pulse point can help from naseua to acting as a touchstone. If you don't know the whole trauma/memory I don't recommend using scents that way-it can be a traumatic trigger.
Can confirm, lol.
@@satonna4529yeah exactly i was like nooo then youll start associating the stuff with a smell you used to like
As someone who struggles with a dissociative disorder, thank you for such a clear explanation. Would love a similar one on DID if possible.
Thank you. I’ll think about the DID video. It is one of those diagnoses that some people question in the psychiatry world.
@@DrTraceyMarks
I bet it must be interesting working with so many different people and conditions and therapies.
Do you think it might be difficult to diagnose someone if they have overlapping symptoms like missing periods of time that are unaccounted for?
And do you think it may factor into some misdiagnoses of either condition?
I also have DID and I feel like if we can work on integration and/or being co-con then we can all work on these techniques until we’re more whole and healed... I don’t know... I wish I had a clear answer too... it sucks
@@DrTraceyMarks I don't know why people question it. Nothing to me is solid in the DSM. I definitely believe in severe dissociation. I believe in the human condition for whatever it is for the person. Im definitely disconnected from my thoughts and emotions. So much so it gets me in trouble. I'm working on that now. Love your videos and giving us a place to talk.
How are you now. What helped you. I have Dissociation almost every Day. I am trying to heal with emdr alone. I can talk about my trauma more calm but it helps slow
I’ll be watching this video 30 times to absorb it due to my dissociating. Who can relate?
Yep!
i just sometimes cant believe that how did this even happen to me
Same... 🙃
thanks for the laugh🥲 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Completely! ❤
Thank you for this, i was actually crying during this video because someone finally understood what i’ve been going through
Me too I feel so lost.
me too
Me too I thought I was in psychosis I called it lala land
When I was really sick a few years ago i started writing down, "I am healthy and strong" or saying it to myself anytime I had to get up and move or was dealing with the fear that I was dying. It's the only way I got through that illness. When I'm dissociating however, I usually can't form cohesive thoughts so what I've found that helps me most is ice. The sharp coldness "snaps" me back to reality.
I used to splash cold water on the back of my neck as a kid from time to time to snap me out of weird feeling I had. I may try that again. Thank you for reminding me. 🙏🏻✨
That can be counterproductive if what you really feel is the opposite. Maybe "I am sick now, but will heal up healthy and strong" would be a more healthy way to do that?
I've been researching for so long now on what I'm going through, for a while I started to think I might be going crazy or insane. After listening to your video I know now what I'm going through and it comforts me that there is ways to cope and heal. I wasn't sure I could heal from this at first. Thanks a lot it was so helpful!
same i questioned reality so hard
Me too! I thought I was crazy and that may life couldn’t go on
Same. It’s opened my eyes.
I thought I was losing my mind too.
Hello another sal, and yea me too
Dreams often reveal the trauma you have blocked from consciousness.
very true!
felt that. but even my dreams don't want to capture the true event, rather it's a manifestation of the trauma and every time I wake up from it I have to reassure myself that it's not happening out of breakdowns and panic ope
ugh so unfortunately true
I dont dream.
Has anyone ever felt pain in a dream?
When my mother, who was terminally ill was living with me, something very traumatic happened that started in my house and continued on in the hospital. When I got home from the hospital, I watched some TV with my husband in an effort to feel less traumatized and more normal. But when we went to the kitchen, I remember looking at him and thinking, "It's like I am in a parallel universe and nothing here is real -like that's not my countertop and this is not my kitchen. It's like it just looks like my stuff." Even my husband felt unreal, or part of that parallel world. It wasn't comforting. I just wanted everything to feel normal again. But, of course, because of what I'd experienced with my mother that day, I knew nothing would ever be normal again. In the end, I was wrong. I did feel normal again in time. ❤️
thank you very much for this video !!! ive been diagnosed with complex ptsd for a few years, and i feel dissociated and disconnected to a point where i have very flat emotions, and bad events/potential harming events dont seem to reach me, it got worse by each event. i forget those things really quick, but as much as my mind somehow dont let these events get to me, the positive things in life seem to pass by as well. i mostly feel like out of time/in another dimension with different rules, like time passes differentley, everything is blurry. and i have a really slow reaction time to things. anyway, thank you very much, i hope you have a great day, dr marks !
You’re welcome. Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope the grounding exercises are helping.
I naturally discovered the mental list of things I’d need to tell myself to get out of my dissociative state, a lot of reminding myself that “yes, you’re ok, things are infinitely better now” and those things work very well for me! Looking forward to your next technique video ☺️♥️
I’m glad you instinctively figured that out. And I’m glad it’s working for you.
Ik in supposed to benefit from this and sometimes I get the clarity of it but most of the time it's so hard to believe when it feels so untrue
@@sanya3398 What can I do to stop my dissociation and derealization? I experience it 24/7 constantly and it gets either better or worse. I dont wanna feel like that forever....
@@КристиянТрънбашев-ш6г can you do to the professional and start working with the roots of your psychological state (trauma)?
please share your list!!! if you feel comfortable... i don't know where to start for mine.
I dissociate and it is very embarrassing. The challenge is that I don't realize that it is happening and I can stay in that place for extended periods of time. I miss meetings, don't remember conversations, I don't remember people's names or times when might have worked together. It is just gone, until I come back. It is not until people around me start asking me what is going on that I start to realize what is happening. This stems from childhood. Of the 10 Adverse Childhood Experiences, I experienced 8. I might go very long periods between dissociative episodes so I think that I am better then something will trigger me and off I go. It is really frustrating.
After losing half my family in tragic car accident back in December of 2013, I think I went through every single emotion possible trying to survive such complicated grief. I like to think I’ve healed as much as one can heal but as of recently, I’m being told that I lack emotions, or empathy when it comes to disagreements or the feelings of another in a new relationship. I just feel like once you’ve been through such extreme emotions, things don’t effect you the same way or the way they would for a person who has never experienced such trauma before. Apparently, my heart is made of stone as I’ve been told.
I think if anything says your heart is made of stone after knowing you lost half of your family might want to evaluate their own bag of sh!t. Sending love your way
You guys deserve so much love. Im sending you a hug and caress you in my heart
@@ecb1979❤❤❤😂😂😂 Can you be my interpreter when I can’t seem to find the words to put someone in their place who really needs & has earned it 😂😂❤❤❤ Your response warmed my heart & made me chuckle. ❤ Thank you
Deeply felt this. So sorry for your loss.
my husband was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder in 2014. he had spent most of his life not being able to remember much of the childhood trauma. he is currently in therapy and being taught many of the techniques you described.
he watched this video with me and remarked how valuable it is to help others.
thank you, Dr. Marks; you have no idea how valuable you are to so many unable to get proper mental health treatment.
err, can you help me on this one? i think i have this disorder, what kind of therapy your husband get?
@@Peanuts76 a therapist who has specific training to deal with DID; it may take a while to find one who is qualified.
it's also a matter of having support from family, which can be stressful at time on the family.
I wish you the best
Any tips on how i can cope personally / help my new girlfreind ,I really like her a lot but she seems to need time alone and I dont understand, if you can help at all, thank you.
Thank you. This is me right now. It’s frightening. I’m in therapy and it’s helping. I began EMDR but I got so frightened I had to back out. My mind feels fragmented and I was frightened of re-traumatizing myself and more fragmentation. This has been my coping mechanism since I was a little girl and I couldn’t understand or handle the abuse.
Disassociating is my worst ongoing symptom of C-PTSD. When it hits I become completely detached from everything. I can't work, talk, focus, or even watch a movie. I have to take medication to help me sleep and then if it worked out I wake up and I'm either coming out of it or completely out of it. It usually works for me though. I have tried so many things but sleep is the only thing that fixes it
Imagine it being your constant 24 hrs a day for your entire life to the point you literally cant remeber a time you didnt have kt
I think the brain needs to rest when it gets overwhelmed. I also have CPTSD but use Medical Marijuana. Reiki has helped a lot too.
❤
Please look up irene lyon, patrick teahan and down regulation! They have helped
I have the same problem,worst simptom ever😢😢😢😢
I’m the same. Sleep makes everything better
This happened to me multiple times since the murder of my son. The last time was the day I was preparing to view the crime scene and autopsy photos. I suddenly had a “mental break” and nearly spiraled into a panic, but my daughter is good with grounding me so brought me back to reality.
This made me cry! She litterally described exactly what I'm going through! It all makes perfect sense too! I'm so fortunate to come across that video but it hurts to see how common it must be to be in this video
i’m really scared because i found out what disassociation was in the last year and i have been experiencing it since i was so little. i don’t remember anything traumatic in my life at all.
however i have extreme anxiety, a past with depression, and i overthink everything to the point that i need to calm down before having a panic or anxiety attack. i don’t want to jump to any conclusions of experiencing trauma but could there even be another explanation??
we all have different experiences in our lives that were traumatic. you may have something in your past that traumatized you without you realizing how exactly that specific thing affected you. alternatively, you could have childhood experiences that you don't remember anymore that were traumatic. and lastly, repeated messages we recieve throughout our lives, whether from family members, friends, or society/the media/coworkers/employers/teachers/etc. have a tremendous ability to cause trauma. being repeatedly told that it's not okay to be your true self is traumatic, and i think we all get that message throughout our lives (this message can take many forms, some more harmful than others).
Emotional abuse. Does one of your parents have NPD?
@@pizzapizzapizza5 narcissistic personality disorder? yeah, my dad does lol
@@elianamarshall9333 That's probably what it is then. Emotional abuse or neglect is enough to cause a lot of these kinds of issues.
Generational trauma and epigenetics could also be a factor
My favorite phrase you said from this video was
"What can you do about this?" It's a beautiful thing to know there is hope and thousands of ways to healing.
I like hydrotherapy, psychedelic assisted psychotherapy, and other holistic methods.
Complied trauma is heavy and can be heartbreaking and I know I have to do what needs to be done to keep my head above water
🙏🏾
I don't believe in CBT for trauma I know people who have committed suicide after reliving repressed memories brought up in therapy
The grounding exercise kind of made me feel like I was in a war zone.
My brain likes to dissociate to protect herself.
Which yes has left really long periods of time I can hardly account for (years). But probably enables me to experience so much less pain.
Update: I did enjoy the scent part of the grounding exercise. Currently sniffing some essential peppermint oil and I do feel more peaceful and more present. Thank you.
Help me out from this
In my opinion EMDR is better for trauma and ptsd. Cbt makes me relive it and just ruminate as I have ocd as well…. Which then increases anxiety, depression, and then increases dissociation.
Depending on the level of dissociation and the severity, grounding isn’t always possible or helpful. But emdr should help with this eventually.
I feel like I’ve been living detached from the world and watching myself live life like everything is fake for years I can’t remember since when this started but I know it’s time to get rid of this feeling
Me, too. You are not alone.
Thank you for your videos. I needed these. I have anxiety(diagnosed) and ADHD(undiagnosed). Going through a break up and these videos have made me feel so much better.
I'm living in a traumatic past Thank God for dissociation because I can remove myself from this & survive.
Plz also help me out from this .....
"Acrues interest" hits the nail on the head
Thank you for your gift of clarity, eye movement suggestion triggered great memories of EMDR. (Sexual abuse trauma, reduced from 9' & 10's Full panic to 2-3's "I got this!" Your insight is great help for my narcissistic abuse. Respectfully, Darren
I have similar experiences. I was diagnosed with mpd in 1986 from sra EMDR 2014 such a breakthru! Now I only get flareups when I’m under stress. That’s easy to identify and we’re able to fuse/manage-basically back to a healthier me. Then if I stress out and flare up again rinse and repeat🙏🏼🌿🕊
I love you ability to communicate these topics!
This makes so much sense about why my memory was so cloudy. I was sexually assaulted about 2 years ago at work. I still couldn't remember the time and date but still have flashbacks. When HR investigated and asked me when it occurred, my mind was completely blank. I have an attorney who is helping and a wonderful counselor who told me about dissociation. My second time being raped was so detailed that I remember the time and day of the incident. I still don't know how I remember the second event. This video is so detailed that makes me cry and I don't know why.
Ever since I got back from my deployment to Afghanistan, I live a life heavily dissociated from what’s going on around me. Kind of sucks sometimes, but it is what it is.
How long ago was it and how do you feel now??
My dad was a sniper-from Viet Nam to Saudi-and he struggled with the "real" world after every deployment.
For him, it seemed to get MUCH easier once he walked away from the military, though still took years.
I wish the best for you, and hope it gets easier to breathe soon...
God bless you. I’ve been on my mental health journey for 10 years. I’ve received more clarity in watching your videos for 2 days than I have in my 10 year span. I know where to begin in getting the proper treatment for my mental health and I can’t thank you enough 😭❤️🙏🏾
U got this, God Bless you ❤️
Thank you so much. I've been dosociating as as a defence mechanism to anxiety since I was little without realizing it. The techniques you gave are very helpful and I appreciate you.
This made me cry because I didn’t realize this was what I was experiencing because I was sexually and physically abused for 9 years by my ex husband.
Your the best mental health doctor. You really know what to do and want us to get better. Some methods I have used have helped me become mentally stronger, mindful. We make a choice to watch your videos, we make a choice to get better. Thank you.
Grounding is so hard to do when you go to 0 to 100 in 3 seconds. I lose my thinking brain and my hands shake and I go into fight or flight mode. I guess I need to pay attention to the warning signs I'm heading for trouble.
It can take awhile, and be super subtle. For me, breathing is a key indicator. Now I notice the change before I can even identify the trigger. You will get there, promise. You are trying to identify where in the process you can slow it down enough to regain some control-sort of a mental version of muscle memory. Eventually when you start to feel triggered that SAME sensation will also trigger your response. Does that make sense?
@@satonna4529 I get it! I’m working with a practitioner now, learning Feldenkrais method of mindful movement with breath, practicing very slow
movements that my nerves “remember” and respond accordingly to stimuli, kind of like a muscle memory
I’m doing a lot of disassociation work and it’s so interesting how my brain will try to check out even on the lessons for healing. The hurt piece of me is so reliant on the disassociation to feel safe that even the idea of finding better coping strategies can trigger this reaction.
As sad as it is that anyone deals with this, it’s been helping to remind myself that this is a creative solution that I came up with while I was young to be safe. It’s not healthy or useful anymore, and also this is a result of my consciousness caring for me. It isn’t the strategy I would choose for myself now but it does show the love I had for myself and the persistence I had to survive.
Looking at this trauma response with compassion opened my eyes to a whole piece of my mind that I had been chronically ignoring.
These videos are great. Thank you for being very clear and professional without trying to be a TH-cam celebrity. It is really cool and much better than most things out there.
I’ve always been able to dissociate, but after I quit drinking in 1988 I began working in therapy on connecting with my real self.
I love you so much, very informative and useful information, I don’t have enough words to say how much people like you helped me to heal from the abuse relationships I went through, I following you from Middle East, I am in recovery period right now and I will study psychology to help the people how have the same experience of mine, I am oncology nurse and I was suffering since I a child. While I am writing this comment my eye saw my profile picture and like I am seeing it for the first time. Looks like I was looking for to be saved since long time. May Allah bless you. Keep good work .
Thank you for this video. I had no idea what dissociation was or that I am someone who does this. Your message motivated me to seek out therapy for this and my past trauma.
I developed this power after my abusive marriage and divorced. I find it helpful but only when dealing with my abusive ex. I cannot change anything, so for now, it works, yet I know in the long term, will affect my perceptions.
True but I’m glad it’s working for you now. The long term negative effect may be minor enough to justify the benefit you’re receiving now.
I think I'm going through this now...any tips you could give me?
It's a trauma response and it's easy to apply behaviors that once kept you safe to new circumstances. I like how you went into the subtle examples where it's not as extreme. For example, putting up walls or not letting relationships get too close. Using excuses to convince yourself it's better to be distant than to feel the potential of the vulnerable emotions that could come from letting someone in.
Somehow, I had developed this reaction to first dates. Even on my good days, where I’m in a mentally safe space and grounded, I would mentally freeze and disconnect from the experience. Luckily, videos like this and therapy, have gradually helped me manage this.
I had these strange surreal feelings after my divorce where everything around me didn't look real. It was like I was surrounded by cardboard cutouts; everything looked flat or like toys. This went on for months and I thought it would go away but then I was visiting a friend and started explaining these sensations then all of a sudden I was crying and it surprised even me. My friend quickly looked up the symptoms on the computer. Derealization was spot on... I didn't quite feel depersonalization although there were some elements of that with floating outside of myself but that wasn't ongoing. Basically walking outside (usually in a park with trees) and repeating to myself this is real and touching leaves, grass or a bench and sometimes eating outside helped me feel grounded. Even praying as I was enjoying nature and looking at the sky was a big help too. It took over a year to get over it.
I have this weird thing when I’m talking to someone i aspire to be. Every time i talk to people i look up to, i tend to zone out. It’s as if I’m dumbfounded and when i try to recall those moments i actually conversed intelligently but it weirdly feels like as if I was not there/ in the moment. And only after the whole conversation, I realized that “oops that actually happened”.
This also weirdly applies when I’m put on the spot and have to do mental games, i tend to be competitive and eventually win but there’s always this feeling that I’m not that focused or in the moment and always feel confused how i won.
(I told this to a group of friends and only got called out for humble bragging but I wasn’t, i was curious why i feel the way i do cause i feel confused all the time and it’s annoying how I’m always mentally absent but to others i seem okay)
But I’m not exactly sure if this is the dissociative we’re talking about. On the bigger scale, i tend to cut connections with people here and there or every time I’m in my depressive months/ season.
LJ! I am going through the same thing.
Narcissistic collapse.
I’m so glad I watched this! Great tips on grounding yourself when you feel overwhelmed. I’ll be near ppl who I try to trust but would rather keep it separate from my private life. I just want to get through the day!
This video just popped up an hour after I was talking to my best friend about our experiences with this.
Hmmm. TH-cam was listening 😉
@@DrTraceyMarks right! Because they are now owned and operated by google and google is always listening.
This happens with Fibromyalgia and/or migraines. The body can’t endure the pain and stress of feeling sick all the time - the body shuts down. De-realization from my surroundings until I can rest long enough to calm down the flare and my cognitive dysfunction.
Agreed-on top of that, it screws with time perception! I lay down with a migraine and get up days later-on top of dissociative issues that can REALLY mess with your calendar.
Fibromyalgia is considered a mental manifestation of stress which in turn people describe as pain which in fact when patients are medically tested via blood for RA, or inflammatory markers, nerve testing even imaging all showing nothing present that would cause actual pain. It is this limbo term that really belongs in the mental health category. And nothing to be ashamed of but the more people understand FMS the better they can understand and be treated properly.
@@Candley1077 are you a doctor?
@@olliviermae I’m a Nurse that has been working in a Rheumatologist office for 7 years. I work directly under the physician and also do infusions for RA patients. So I live and breathe FMS, RA,OA patients and more EVERYDAY.
@@Candley1077 All I’m hearing is no, you’re not a doctor. ✅
This is the most helpful video I have found yet. Thank you! I'm going to turn your 5-senses grounding techniques into a plan.
Geez, imagine what kind of 4D level dissociation animals' minds are creating in factory farms right now.
:(
:(
As someone with long term dissociation, I think about those animals regularly.
I don't understand what this means, animals can have dissociation, or you're joking?
@@ぱ夏 He's saying that imagine what "advanced" hellish level of dissociation their brains must be producing to endure their life of continual captivity in Squalid conditions.
Thank you so much for making this video 🙏🏼 I was recently diagnosed with Borderline even though we knew for years i had it. I get dissociations almost everyday and never knew how to handle it, but this video is such a help, so thank you so much 🙏🏼☺️ (i have not recieved treatment yet, but i start friday)
Dr Marks, I think you could never be my local doctor because I find you absolutely gorgeous!
On the other hand, I've never met a psychiatrist who taught me so much, providing so many deep insights on so many topics (this video specifically I'm watching to try and help a dear person).
Thank you so much for all the knowledge you share. I certainly miss it in actual local consultations.
"Emotional loan" wow! This video is wonderful! Thank you! !!
Thank you so much for this! I don’t have money for therapy but have realized that disassociation might be something I’m dealing with and this helped me a lot.
My English teacher keeps bringing up s*xual *ss*ult and I just kinda zone out and it’s like I’m in my body but it’s not me anymore. I wish I could email him and ask him to stop cause how am I meant to do good on tests when I fully can’t remember anything that happened
You're probably not in that class anymore but if this happens again in the future you have a right to email them and ask them to refrain from speaking about that subject as it is a trigger for you. You do not need to divulge any details. You should seek professional help at some point though to help you deal with this pain.
I'm really struggling with dissociation, flashbacks, memory loss, and extreme anxiety. Thank you for this video. I ordered a PTSD workbook and i hope to start trauma therapy soon. I'm trying to use sensory grounding but it's not working too well.. anyway I'm gonna work hard to heal. I hate this.. bless you again for putting this info out there.
Hows it going so far?
May I add from my personal experience at least maybe it might help someone; Caffeine I believe is very seriously somehow linked to disassociation and depersonalization. I don't know how and of course all substances have their own effects - but since I have quit coffee and anything that contains caffeine the "spells" and intensity of the episodes/flashbacks have lessened. Your videos allow me to step back out of the chatter in my mind and for a moment remember that all these frightening things that happen are valid, have roots and are manageable - it's a very relieving powerful feeling even if for a short video. I think many of your viewers might agree. Thank you Dr. Marks I look forward to the next video :)
I think so to I drink frappe almost everyday so this helps me alotttttt
I'm so glad dr. Marks brought up the 54321. This is a great reminder and was actually given this technique by a grief counselor after my mother died. It worked when I used it and then I forgot about it so thank you Dr. M👍
Thank you very much, Dr. Marks. I've been struggling with this problem for many years. Excellent information!
Well, that's interesting to come across your video. I was recently talking about how I almost completely dissociated the other day; it's been a while since I've done it to that degree. It was rough bc in the moment I had the vague dispassionate thought "Oh, I'm doing this again. Ok then." But the person I was with had never seen me like that; they kept asking what was wrong and I suspect getting very frustrated when they barely got an answer. I'm working on getting back into therapy to explore (among other things) WHY that's one of my brain's go-to coping strategies sometimes, but in the meantime it was a big reminder to let people close to me know ahead of time that I do that sometimes. And your video a good reminder that there are therapies out there that can help. So thank you!
Thank you Tracey. I've just started dissociating after starting a full time job. I have no real memory of having a dissociative feeling while trauma occurred but there also could be trauma that I have amnesia from. I've tried all these grounding techniques you've listed but unfortunately none of them have been able to pull me out other than just seclusion and time. I'll be starting trauma therapy soon so hoping it helps. Thank you again x
How did therapy go? Did it help?
Thank you for the information. I have been missing the needed information for years.
It explains a lot about my relationship with family. I waited for years to hear the truth from my mother, but after hearing it, I shut down, and it took me nearly 5 years to gather the strong to acknowledge the facts of my childhood. It was hard to accept the truth about who my abuser really was. 🙏
This is so kind of you, thank you very much!
You’re welcome! 🤗
This channel is a blessing from the universe.
Thank you for doing these videos. I liked the part when you talked about describing trauma and to say how long ago did the trauma take place, when and where etc.
Thank you so so much. I've met somebody and they remind me of a toxic relationship I had and I'm breaking down. I feel like I have nobody to talk to. Thank you so much.
That sounds like my sister. She seems very detached to people/ relationships. The only person she seems to care for is her husband. When I think of her I think of a robot.
That’s disheartening 🙁
My sister is the same way, except she got separated from her husband this year. Weird. She almost never answers calls or texts and she acts like a robot. We had a traumatic childhood. Hmm.
@@BeingBetter oh my goodness that is one of my fears. What would happen to her is she ever gets divorced. She has once mentioned to my mom that she would rather die. As far as I know they are doing ok.
@@Yolduranduran Wow that's so interesting. My sister is doing ok so far.
@@BeingBetter but they always seem like they are ok. Dont they?
Thank you so much for this video. You’re saving lives. Like literally. Can’t thank you enough. Please create more on this topic if possible. All the love.
I managed to dissociate through this entire video and experience even more fear.
it is a painful experience. I dissociated from childhood.i feel like crying all the time.
Sounds, smells, music.....these have all triggered and yet I still haven't been able to place the actual traumatic event.
I would love to see a video about hoarding, and how it affects children who grew up in that environment.
agreed, this seems to be an increasingly common issue. i imagine children raised by hoarders are forced to grow up extremely fast.
This video is invaluable to me! The succinct and concise way you explained it plus the tips for dealing with it are perfect! Some of them I've been doing without even knowing are 'official methods'
Thank you!
Thank you for the review.
Had to deal with a homicidal DID episode. I knew what was going on while she was attacking me, so it was easy to stay calm and not retaliate. This was a product of trauma she had experienced fifty years earlier. It stays in there until effective therapy is done.
This topic is so helpful. Your descriptions are really useful for understanding what dissociation is, both what causes it and how it's experienced. I like that you use terms that are easy to connect with and understand. I also love that you mention how dissociation is protective during a traumatic experience, albeit maladaptive after the trauma. Thank you for mentioning useful treatments, too--I can definitely agree all those routes you mentioned are very helpful. Thanks again Dr. Marks!
i feel both very often during winter or just randomly usually when very stressed. i really hate the feeling...almost worse than depression because at least with depression you know yourself and somewhat sense your environment.
did it ever get better for you?
Thank you so much Dr. Tracy. This video is literally the words I have been searching for every thing I have been feeling and unable to express .
in a short amount of time ive had a lot of traumatic experiences and started to remember my childhood. ive been really strong for a long time but i have these moments that are really hard to describe but all thats going through my head is what happened to me and that i feel stuck. i also had a bad trip in between all of that but this video really helped i feel like i know whats wrong now you know?
🙏 So knowledgeable. We are all very blessed that you have chosen to create a TH-cam Channel to educate us all. 🙏 ❤️💯Thank you from all of us.
Hi so wanted you to know.. ive been filling up a glass bottle (voss) of ice.. and it helps me break through the cold glass alone.. the text on lid. Helps. and also helps me know how long ive been in my head by how melted the ice is....and the 1 to 5 sensory is pure magic... my other half helps me by getting me to do this also asks me questions like how old are you, where do you live, what year ect when i am not clearly aware. So thank you again. And trust me my 3 children thank you
Wow. Tysm. I developed these techniques on my own over time. Its nice to hear confirmation. Guess I just need to keep doing what I've always done. At least now I feel renewed hope to engage with increased confidence and plan to be more assertive in my efforts.
Sometimes it's all we need.
Im an empathetic person
And i feel this alot.
Im so worried about who i am sometimes
Everyone keeps saying to find your trauma and stuff like that, when I have no trauma at all
This can later be used to be Selfish - like when a child is getting abused the mother can conveniently Not Notice and Forget about it. Later the child is accused of lying.
Deliberately tuning out is a different process from traumatic dissociation.
@@DrTraceyMarks
Not that different. People can learn to Dissociate to avoid painful memories brought up when their children are abused. It can continue to the next generation. Then comes Transference and the child is blamed.
I would like to tell anyone suffering from this.. YOU CAN HEAL YOURSELF! One amazing thing the body can do is rewire itself. It does take time, but it does happen. Don’t give up.
Can you make a video about dealing with dissociation from CPTSD/Dissociative disorders. My meds kinda help but that's it. It's to the point I don't know I'm doing it
Thanks for suggestion 👍🏽
@Sara Martinez honestly lots of therapy. Still working on it. Just kinda how my brain works so partially learning to accept that 😔
@Sara Martinez I struggle with it too, it terrifies me, I don’t feel like I exist almost 24/7 especially in certain places like restaurants or places with certain lighting etc. I don’t know how to not be scared of it, it feels like any moment I’m just going to fade away or something. I’ve gone into complete panic attacks because of it 😞
@Sara Martinez thank u so much, and I will definitely look it up❤️
@Sara Martinez hi i have DPDR n giving up jst want it t go so i cn feel normal again did yours go away where u feel normal again now?
This is great. But that’s the thing I have no idea about what the traumatic event was. I know it had to have been bad but can’t remember too much of anything
Hi Dr. Marks, I'm a school psychologist working in a private residential setting that serves children and adults with autism and intellectual disabilities. I have several individuals on my caseload that have co-occurring diagnoses of OCD, anxiety, and PTSD, just to name a few. I was wondering if you would consider doing a video on how mental illnesses can present in individuals with moderate intellectual disabilities. I'm mostly interested in trauma related disorders, especially dissociative disorders. I've done some of my own research, but haven't been very successful. I appreciate any insight you might be able to give. Thank you!
A lot of times when I’m not distracted or busy, I hear the sirens of the night my dad passed in my arms, and it sends me into a spiral of a false sense of then. I start to smell the alcohol on his breath and I’m the room, start to taste the aroma, and just be in this sense of when everything was okay. Eventually I’m brought back in what I’m barely learning is a PTSD episode while I try to come back to where I am now.
Great video, just in time for my triggers this evening, thanks Tracey 🙌💜
You’re welcome shifting resources. Thanks for watching.
Zoning out while listening to this video like what did she just say?! 🤯
Feel the same finally got some idea what's going on, I got dissociation after from my trauma with gambling losses
Bhai plz also help me out from this 🙏
Thanks for being there. I searched disassociate and im so happy 😊 I came your video was top 5. I had a flare up and I cut my self. Then I disassociate. My mind escaped when I couldn't cope bc cutting shouldn't be an option. And a dude triggered it. 3 years later. So I dissociate and came up with a a plan. I decided to tell my future friends "I'm not gf material but I mean well so compensate me for my time". And that cured the feeling that made me snap. I dont don't want to keep being ran through by men and not get anything from it. Not a phone call cup of water after cooking cleaning sex etc. I recently learned that I should be careful who I do these activity with. Im glad I was able to dissociate. Just like a cut heals my mind had to heal. All the tips & questions the end help. I thought about my mom that recently passed. And all she left for me and how great she was and that I too could be somebody. Even if disassociate or for me cutting, im able to be made aware of why it happend. Bc it will and why is important in recovery so I won't act so nochelont.
Does anyone hear what someone says but it’s like your brain didn’t actually process what was said
Yes I do, I have ADHD.
wow. she explained perfectly well.
this is my life story since I was often helpless and defenceless
I suffer with this, I find it hard staying focus at work😭
Girl ,it is the worse
I do research and have disacociation but also ASD Autism , an article I read concluded that weak habituatiors share a pattern of symptoms and that is anxiety delusional thinking paranoia disacociation , so my answer to this really is to take control of your home environment and learn how to habituate effectively and re create your life from the grass roots upwards
Thank you sooo much. I’ve suffered it for more than 30 years and just found out a couple of months ago what is the name of that feeling. 🙏🏼
Hey bro !!!
How are you feeling now?
How did you use to feel?
I would like to hear from you.
Please reply bro.
@@TECH-fk2ln I am glad u care
Same
the eight techniques you shared are very helpful... I will practice them from now on
I dissociated during sexual trauma and eventually I had depersonalization disorder. I started doing it to escape the abuse but then I unconsciously started getting depersonalized because of my anxiety. I think depersonalization should be somehow related to PTSD. I wonder what's gonna happen when they update the dsm. They have to add cptsd. I definitely have memory lapses sometimes. If I start thinking about my trauma when I'm on a long drive i will lose chunks of time. Autopilot.