"Sorry I don't work here"

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
  • MY NEW ALBUM DIGITAL SPOOL IS OUT NOW - GO FORTH AND BEHOLD IT: open.spotify.c... So awkward when this happens! haha XD
    Like if u been there!
    BLESS MY PATREON?
    link.jazzemu.c...
    For Spotify, Socials, Merch and all other sluicable delectations:
    link.jazzemu.c...

ความคิดเห็น • 582

  • @Elliotd1234
    @Elliotd1234 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3955

    I don't know how you scored such a lucrative deal with "water", but well done.

    • @eavening4149
      @eavening4149 2 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      I guess Big Water is trying to improve their branding... you know, after all the controversies.

    • @renaissanceguy2445
      @renaissanceguy2445 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@eavening4149 Did you see the exposé where it was leaked they put dihydrogen monoxide in their products? Apparently they even found it still circulating in the blood of some people who tried the product and died!

    • @aleisterlavey9716
      @aleisterlavey9716 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@DemonicBoobs 70% water? Coca Cola wants to know your adress.

    • @cosmic-fortytwo
      @cosmic-fortytwo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just what did they put in that guy's water anyway?

    • @atomatopia1
      @atomatopia1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wouldn’t you know? You are the manager of “water” after all.

  • @sophie-eh4te
    @sophie-eh4te 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4156

    the shoe shop was inside you all along

    • @s.l.2227
      @s.l.2227 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      The real managers were the friends we made along the way.

    • @essymessy2534
      @essymessy2534 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      The real shoes were the water we drank along the way

    • @princessthyemis
      @princessthyemis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      hahaha!!

    • @You-ye4xb
      @You-ye4xb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      O-O

    • @Intrafacial86
      @Intrafacial86 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      [insert foot-up-the-ass pun]

  • @Somerled_Pox
    @Somerled_Pox 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2124

    Born too early to colonise the galaxy
    Born too late to experience pre-industrial society
    Born just in time to experience the first Jazz Emu sketch

    • @NavJordaan
      @NavJordaan ปีที่แล้ว +5

      love this comment

  • @grinpear
    @grinpear 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5787

    This feels like a short story that would be assigned reading in a middle school English class, with a mandatory analysis essay on "how the increasingly-consumerist nature of our society can undermine the illusory permeance of identity, forcing us to exist in a liminal state between individual and workforce."
    So basically this has the vibe of something that would make twelve-year-olds question the nature of their own free will and start them on the path to eventual existential crises, which is the best possible vibe.

    • @dianavallecillos6758
      @dianavallecillos6758 3 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Yes

    • @surnamnam7604
      @surnamnam7604 3 ปีที่แล้ว +275

      I also went "oh this would be so good for my students" and then I realized this type of content might seem to "out there" for those 12-y-o squares and then I remembered I'm not even a teacher.

    • @PentameronSV
      @PentameronSV 3 ปีที่แล้ว +237

      @@surnamnam7604 You ARE a teacher. You've always worked as a teacher.

    • @angela.luntian
      @angela.luntian 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Its profound, but if you get existential crisis from the state of the world secondhand that kind of defeats the meaning imo. (Secondhand = the idea was brought to you, rather than you realizing it with firsthand experience)

    • @karl2405
      @karl2405 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@angela.luntian If ita a true existential crisis , its experienced firsthand, no matter how the idea is brought you

  • @theuserofthissite
    @theuserofthissite 3 ปีที่แล้ว +689

    ugh i can't believe this was just an ad for water the whole time

    • @JazzEmu
      @JazzEmu  3 ปีที่แล้ว +445

      I know you will be disappointed that this channel has accepted corporate funding. But when CEO of Water Roger Appleby approached me with a year’s supply of free water delivered as a rain cloud permanently installed above my house it was an offer I could not refuse.

    • @s.l.2227
      @s.l.2227 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      @@JazzEmu Any one of us would have made that same deal. 😆

    • @VeryPeeved
      @VeryPeeved 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Water: drink it up!

    • @dorianpearson3444
      @dorianpearson3444 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      It would be so cool to get sponsored by water.

    • @keithklassen5320
      @keithklassen5320 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@VeryPeeved "What's Wetter Than Water?!" (TM)

  • @AMoodyB3ar
    @AMoodyB3ar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    the fact that the one who says "thank you" is NOT the one who says "can I get those in a size 11, please" for the final time makes the whole video for me.

  • @cloooud
    @cloooud 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1234

    This guy is about to absolutely explode. Just let one person with a bit of reach share this and that’ll be it. You are absolutely hilarious. This is so well shot and edited.

  • @toromisher
    @toromisher 2 ปีที่แล้ว +256

    This is such a beautiful example of striking the perfect balance between absurdity and being just normal enough to be off putting. So diarmingly hilarious.

  • @jeffreysanders612
    @jeffreysanders612 2 ปีที่แล้ว +187

    This is absolutely a SCP, everyone inside the store is simultaneously an employee and a customer but they are always what someone else doesn't want.

  • @sharonwong5688
    @sharonwong5688 3 ปีที่แล้ว +322

    I've been mistaken so many times as an employee just because I always wear the same nondescript black jacket. One time I was even wearing huge headphones and I STILL got mistaken for an employee! 😂

    • @redwarf8118
      @redwarf8118 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      were do you work - h&m ?

    • @pigglewiggle175
      @pigglewiggle175 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I guess you know your calling in life

    • @MollyHJohns
      @MollyHJohns 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'm late but wear a black shirt with a blatant "I don't work here" print. Will give a lot of people a lot of pauses 👍🏼

    • @luyandolove
      @luyandolove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@MollyHJohns I was at the Jazz Emu concert in LA and as a joke I wore a crudely made “I Work Here” badge and got mistaken for an employee. I imagine this would work since it’s basically the opposite of what I did

    • @heartheater07
      @heartheater07 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      oh same-- i usually wear collared shirts like the ones you find in retail uniforms, so it happens a lot. the first time it happened to me made me so confused,, i was 13 and on my phone so i had no idea why someone was talking to me

  • @thebeanmeister6046
    @thebeanmeister6046 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    If i had a nickel for every time a comedy musician i like has made a video about being mistaken for an employee that ends in an insane weird scenario, id have two nickels, which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice.

  • @YourLocalAnonAccount
    @YourLocalAnonAccount 2 ปีที่แล้ว +220

    is it just me or does this dude's voice actually sounds oddly relaxing to listen to

    • @zoesilver5828
      @zoesilver5828 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      it's the vocal fry

    • @pocketsk3824
      @pocketsk3824 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I had the opposite reaction. I liked the skit, but the voices being 100% vocal fry made me want to tear my eyes out.

  • @Someone-else-Probably
    @Someone-else-Probably 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    i paused the Dune audio book to watch this video and it really made the message about drinking plenty of water hit harder then it otherwise would have.

  • @fishthestick
    @fishthestick 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Why do I feel like this guy could play Neil Patrick Harris's version of count Olaf very well?

  • @jvanvuren5399
    @jvanvuren5399 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    This feels like low key horror and I love it

  • @valmisorange6736
    @valmisorange6736 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    LMAOOO “Spanish for goal” is one of the funniest line deliveries in a TH-cam sketch ever

  • @paidu6618
    @paidu6618 3 ปีที่แล้ว +159

    Oh yeah Jazzemu, you really do werk it here.
    "I werk it here" shirt merch drop is inevitable

    • @JazzEmu
      @JazzEmu  3 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      Don’t give me any ideas

  • @Tunabreath2001
    @Tunabreath2001 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I was working at Petco, carrying a box full of leashes and dog dresses when this lady approaches me with her phone BLASTING on speaker phone with some lady blabbing to her... She said "EXCUSE me, do you work here??" and I turn around and kind of laugh because I obviously do, carrying labels and a box full of dog stuff but I politely say "Yes, what do you need?" and I guess upon seeing my face she BURSTS out laughing like "HAH, YOU look like a LITTLE girl!!! No way you work here" and I just say "Yes... I do" and give her a confused look but she just keeps laughing and tells her friend on the phone like "They got little girls working at Petco now!" and she laughs too like... Bruh. I know I look like a 12-year-old, but recently, I guess people have viewed me differently because of the way I carry myself. I was at a Dollar Tree and some lady said "Do you work here??" and I'm in my t-shirt and jeans with my MOM and a shopping cart and I'm like... "No???" and she's like "Does ANYONE work here??"

  • @quadling3521
    @quadling3521 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This genuinely feels like my brain end of the 9am-8pm shifts I used to do in retail.

  • @SpaceCliffie
    @SpaceCliffie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    You’ve ✨always✨ worked here 😳

  • @Lemone_99
    @Lemone_99 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The miner guy legit sounds like palpatine when he says “can I get those in a size 11 please”

  • @yazidefirenze
    @yazidefirenze 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    my brain immediately said
    "Hey! I don't work here, and if I did, I would not sell you shit!"

  • @OmarFW
    @OmarFW 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I didn't drink enough water and now my speech is 100% vocal fry and I'm dead

  • @Kunk_Manjeroon
    @Kunk_Manjeroon 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is the kind of horror I wish was more common in sci-fi and fantasy.

  • @mentelgenvideos4624
    @mentelgenvideos4624 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Okay Jazz.
    I’ll have a sip.
    Just for you.

  • @moist730
    @moist730 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm convinced that this guy lives in the backrooms

  • @banann_ducc
    @banann_ducc 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Love it. Your humor is in this little niche i havent found since brian david gilbert

  • @BlissfulBloke
    @BlissfulBloke 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This is very inspiring work, thank you.

  • @iLikeBovril
    @iLikeBovril 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This feels like some low-budget English as a Foreign Language tape from the 1970s that would have 'who is the manager?' as a multiple choice question at the end

  • @CagnotteOrque
    @CagnotteOrque ปีที่แล้ว +3

    After Tom Cardy Jazz Emu

  • @user-yn3qv5vn3i
    @user-yn3qv5vn3i 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This video always has me drinking water 😂😂😂

  • @AuggsieBoggs
    @AuggsieBoggs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This unironically reminded me of those weird ass French dialogue videos I had to watch in highschool, they were always talking about some scary and/or confusing shit just to throw us off

  • @MayanwolfeStreams
    @MayanwolfeStreams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    You're so weird in the best way. Keep it up! :D

  • @willowfernn
    @willowfernn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Step aside Weird Al Yankovic, Jazz Emu is going to steal your spotlight!
    In other words, I really love this haha, I’ve been binging your videos recently and this one is just so funny. Thank you for possibly losing brain cells to provide this lovely- sometimes mind-bending-, one of a kind content!

  • @everhartpetrichor
    @everhartpetrichor 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Good lord your voice is so ridiculously attractive

  • @olliehull2356
    @olliehull2356 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Jazz Emu created a whole sketch just to flex his size 11 feet

    • @JazzEmu
      @JazzEmu  3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Available for foot modelling.

  • @ZigealFaust
    @ZigealFaust 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    When they said "You do." I deadass dropped my bear and stood up.

    • @babyinvasion
      @babyinvasion 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Why were you holding a bear ? Is the bear okay ? 🐻 🧸

    • @ZigealFaust
      @ZigealFaust 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@babyinvasion No hon, my hairy boyfriend.

  • @rccsrgaming6987
    @rccsrgaming6987 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Remember to always stay hydrated. Miami can get very hot.

  • @AnnaTalks-videos
    @AnnaTalks-videos 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Hahaha this is my EXACT kind of humour

  • @NERV_HQ
    @NERV_HQ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "You've always worked here."
    This makes me feel like I'm watching The Shining.

  • @cosmic-fortytwo
    @cosmic-fortytwo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That was beautiful ride through the countryside on the crazy train. Next stop, size 11. Please mind your sanity when exiting.

  • @malinkton2042
    @malinkton2042 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    i need a collab between him and tom cardy

  • @rijaja
    @rijaja 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lad's vocal frying so much he's probably Scottish inside

  • @raputha1148
    @raputha1148 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    amazing. 3 oscars. 4 oscars.

  • @comface
    @comface 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    No idea how I ended up subbed to you, but very glad I am.

  • @DoubleBassX2
    @DoubleBassX2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I set you up for that one...

  • @ayva1106
    @ayva1106 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What if the real shoe shop manager was the friends we made along the way

  • @anthonywarwick
    @anthonywarwick 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "I really like this guy's content" - Me... just now.

  • @MarcPearsonWrestlingReviews
    @MarcPearsonWrestlingReviews 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "Light Touch" as the background music is the icing on this superb cake of a video!

  • @BebxOfficial
    @BebxOfficial 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    this reminds me of a bdg video. which is the highest praise I can give to this video, this is really good.

  • @kohve9687
    @kohve9687 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This video feels like the good version of that australian dude's "i dont work here" music video

  • @merlin9240
    @merlin9240 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Please someone give this man a show that's a collection of fever-dream sketches like this.
    Also I saw you wondering around at love supreme but did not approach :(

  • @linux750
    @linux750 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm getting Adult Swim vibes from this, and am loving it.

  • @Foaklore
    @Foaklore 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The "What an unexpected turn of events"
    Sounds so nice to my ears.

  • @bonniehenderson1850
    @bonniehenderson1850 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    0:25 Werkin' so good he's his own mirror image

  • @gubbin909
    @gubbin909 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Seems this showed up on the recommendation roundabout at the right time. Subbed!

  • @Merlin3623w
    @Merlin3623w 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sometimes you only need to watch one video to know you should subscribe

  • @autonomous_flame
    @autonomous_flame ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Maybe the real person who worked here is the friends we made along the way💯

  • @tckgkljgfl7958
    @tckgkljgfl7958 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "Do you have any crispy towels in size 11 please?"

  • @stevie1166
    @stevie1166 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    God bless the algorithm , this popped up on my feed and I’m bloody pleased about it

  • @GdoubleWB
    @GdoubleWB 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is actually how they get people to work at Designer Shoe Warehouse.

  • @reasonablyobsessed
    @reasonablyobsessed ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Is Tom Cardy your australian half-sibling or why is this title eerily similar lol

  • @French_Engineer
    @French_Engineer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Never thought I could still feel like I'm being watched even when he was drinking water. He's starting into my soul

  • @luminescentlion
    @luminescentlion 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Those are size 12 though, UK sizes are wrong and immoral to use /s

  • @uncleurda8101
    @uncleurda8101 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    bro why you gotta voice crack just speak in your natural register

  • @DifferentRussian
    @DifferentRussian 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Oh hey look, an off-brand Neil Cicierega, neat.

  • @GippyHappy
    @GippyHappy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is just the average dream of a person who works retail

  • @onebigchumptm4729
    @onebigchumptm4729 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Realizing you work in retail, now that is a horror for the everyday man

  • @surnamnam7604
    @surnamnam7604 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tchekov meets Terry Gilliam meets... The... The Beegees ?

  • @abigail.1066
    @abigail.1066 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This would go so cool with "hey i dont work here" from tom cardy.

  • @samadhoosen6014
    @samadhoosen6014 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Just another day in... The Twilight Zone

  • @princessthyemis
    @princessthyemis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This makes no sense and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT

  • @peblezQ
    @peblezQ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    And here I am, having to convince customers that I'm employee when I'm in full uniform, all because they can't believe a 25 yr old with a cane can work

  • @NonsensicalPidgeon
    @NonsensicalPidgeon 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    that joke was really dumb and you should feel bad about it

  • @iguessmynamesriya7658
    @iguessmynamesriya7658 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i thought you were neil cicierega for a solid minute

  • @cass9929
    @cass9929 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is absolutely a fever dream that I'd have

  • @mrsir2032
    @mrsir2032 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    the real size 11 was the friends we met along the way

  • @RobinHearts
    @RobinHearts 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I can't believe you managed to get the manager of Real Madrid to appear in your video!

  • @dead1097
    @dead1097 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    So surreal. I love it!!

  • @nateranger783
    @nateranger783 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You have always worked here, Mr Anderson

  • @aKiBlu
    @aKiBlu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This was so good! Rewatching it for the 3rd time - great job!

  • @shuckieddarns
    @shuckieddarns 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This has a similar energy to bill wurtz

  • @_ProGraham
    @_ProGraham 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    GEEZE that ending song is way too good!!

  • @TJLewthwaite
    @TJLewthwaite 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Ten quid says they steal this for the next season of Black Mirror

  • @slimyboixd
    @slimyboixd ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Gaslighting: The Musical

  • @baloe48
    @baloe48 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    That "I werk it here" has such a perfectly awkward timing

  • @karak962
    @karak962 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    YOU'RE THE CARETAKER, JACK. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE CARETAKER

  • @DarklingReborn
    @DarklingReborn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is giving me Omegamart vibes

  • @joeseatat
    @joeseatat ปีที่แล้ว +1

    When they all said, "You do." ...I got chills...

  • @beodas5577
    @beodas5577 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This felt like a fever dream.

  • @andybellklas1678
    @andybellklas1678 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The bird that is the bald eagle.

  • @Thaldor_
    @Thaldor_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Holy hell, I'm hydrating right now!
    This explains the clowns.

  • @MonkOrMan
    @MonkOrMan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The amount of vocal fry concentrated in one video is amazing

  • @zinczinc6676
    @zinczinc6676 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This guys voice is so crisp

  • @djalexander968
    @djalexander968 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    what did the water do to you man, you've changed, you've been 𝘩𝘺𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥, bro remember back in college when you just wanted to start your own shoe store? and now your sat their working for big water... how far you've fallen

  • @fpcooper95
    @fpcooper95 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks, water 👍🏾

  • @danser_theplayer01
    @danser_theplayer01 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    His videos are on drugs.

  • @KayleMaster
    @KayleMaster 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    A real hydrohomie

  • @seiyuokamihimura5082
    @seiyuokamihimura5082 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Man. I swear, it happens annually. Frickin "excuse me, could you help me find xyz" who me?!?! I mean, I don't work here, but sure, I'll help. Lmao. Basically, don't wear a similar color shirt to the business' attire. Still haven't mastered that.

  • @briandust193
    @briandust193 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Water makes your taste buds depressed and they will become emotionless husks.
    This comment was written by Juice(tm)! Drink your Juice(tm) and feel Happy(tm)!