@@SSsmith24look into a book (free pdf online) called “one minute cure”. It has to do with food grade hydrogen peroxide and it’s ability to flood the body with oxygen. Don’t give up.
It gets so severe for me that getting up for the toilet feels like a an overwhelming effort. Torture. Tiny things everyone does on autopilot become mental and physical mountains.
Turn to Jesus He loves you, He is the healer of the body And savior of the soul, There is True Hope in Jesus, God protects Psalms 91, He is the God of miracles Acts 2:21 And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved Jesus alone saves Trust Him with your salvation John 3:16 1 Corinthians 15 1-4 Moreover Brethren, i declare unto you the gospel which i preached unto you, which also ye have received, and with wherein ye stand By which also ye are saved, if you keep in memory what i preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain, For i delivered unto you first of all that which i also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures And that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the scriptures, Take care
@@Mrs.Currie you don’t need to go anywhere. You were only meant to be alive, what you do doesn’t equate to your worth. Start small. Try to reconnect with 8 year old you and do small things you find fun and make you smile. Even if it’s just making a nice cup of coffee in the morning or a colorful bubble bath in the evening. You’re doing enough just being you, I promise.
Yes! Yes! Yes! If someone says that they have any type of disease, people will come to your house & bring you 3 meals a day, clean your house & walk your dog. But tell someone that you suffer with mental illness & they will leave you like you have the plague... family included.
Yes!!!!!!!!!!! OMG yes!!!! I know this is probably shitty of me to say, but I've often wished I had practically any other illness. ANY OTHER one. Because no matter how debilitating it is, if it's a physical thing instead of a mental thing, more people will have some compassion for you, some understanding of your limitations. But that's just not so for us. So we're dealing with our own self-hatred, our limited capabilities and the ramifications of that, and the hatred and scorn from so many people. I feel bad thinking this way because obviously I can't know what it's like to walk in other people's shoes. But it seems to me like practically any other illness would be easier. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. But it's how I feel.
YES! So true! It is SO difficult to tell another what you need, what you can & cannot do, what you're thinking, feeling ... and get responses such as: a blank stare; you're not trying; there's people worse off than you; just think positive; it'll all work out; don't feel that way; stop being a victim; keep your chin up; do you want to hear a joke?etc., etc.. (from friends, family, health professionals) 23-yrs ago, I was 51-50'd and due to that experience I now lie to ALL healthcare workers when I'm thinking of ending the struggle. Birdie, you seem like such a gentle, kind & compassionate soul & with your honesty, vulnerability & wicked sense of humor are having a profound effect & touching others. I feel understood, heard & not so abandoned by watching your videos. Maybe that IS your purpose, your work? Thank you for being you & letting us share your journey! ❤❤❤
This is so true. I have no one that I can tell about how I feel without being misunderstood and judged. I feel my depression is situational, and I feel like I'm being judged by people who are showing their privilege. It makes me feel alone as then people do disappear.
The world is not divided into people with mental illness and everyone else who is perfectly tickety-boo. So don't denigrate either yourself or others by assuming that you are just being cast aside because they don't think you are important enough to care. The expectation that others should be able to carry the burden of your long term problems as well as their own is unreasonable. The harsh reality is that they may simply not have the wherewithal to cope, any more than you do. That does not automatically mean that they don't care. Don't fall into the trap of being judgemental of others because you believe (possibly erroneously) that you are being judged by them.
Don't think too many dropped me just tried to convince me there was actually nothing wrong and pull yourself together others do it why can't you hmm really well what about the dead ones I said it didn't seem to work for them they fell apart not together they lost all hope still awaiting a reply but they sent lots of others my way trying to convince me everything would be fine if I just let it, well 40 odd years later still trying to pull my self together but as I gets bits together other bits fall out funny how life goes aye
And people don't understand that. That's why I absolutely refuse to talk to and include new people into what I am going through. I have one friend that gets it and I feel good talking to. Everyone else has these dumb, insensitive things to say like it's so easy. I just wish I could snap 🫰 a finger and they are in my position and flip it on then and say what they just said to me and see how it feels
Thank you so much for sharing. You are able to articulate what I am unable to say. My depression ebbs and flows. Some days I just keep repeating to myself this too will pass. And so far it does.
I read this somewhere: Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation. If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life. It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.
Such a great description. You’ve been there too. I can see it in people’s faces now, if they have depression. I saw it for so long on my own face, it’s easy to spot. There’s a slackness to the face. Have you noticed that?
This is the best description I have come across. I’m 62 Birdy and I am in California.Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It's the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends but hate socialising. It's wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It's caring about everything then caring about nothing. It's feeling everything at once then feeling paralysingly numb.
Yes! It is exactly what you said. The push and pull is agonizing. I'm so sorry you understand it so well. I'm sending you my love. I hope the sun is shining on you today.
I have never cared about what society thinks of me. I do not consider not wanting to live in this unfair and brutal reality a sign of depression but a sign of health.
People would tell me to get out and go do things. I’d ask, “Why would I want to do that?! I am with myself 24 hours a day, why would I want to spend more time with myself by myself?!” People never understood.
I haven't wanted to be in this world since I was about 15. I found my dad's .32 and had it in my closet and looked at it every day. When my parents found out the reaction was "What were you going to do? Shoot Us? What would the neighbors think?" I realized then that nobody gives a F and left home at 16. They're gone now and my last real friend died last Sept of a massive heart attack. Between the Severe Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder bordering on Agoraphobia there is no social life and frankly, I don't trust people much anymore. My house is a wreck. A lot of days I don't even feel like taking a shower. The thing that keeps me going is this big floof currently using my leg as a pillow. I'm 63 now and just plain tired as hell. At least now I know there's Someone that understands. Thank you for that. If you ever come to Oregon I have a place for you to park. Stay safe. Stay here. Please.
i agree with you. we don't need alot. just knowing SOMEONE is out there that understands is a pebble removed from the sack of boulders we carry around in our heads and hearts.
Look at all your comments! You have created your own little family of caring people who understand. I began vandwelling in 2009, just because it was too difficult to try and be the person everyone wanted me to be. I searched for a goal bigger than myself to distract me from that depression. Ended up learning to kayak and kayaking all 50 states, just to keep from dwelling on my depression. Still a nomad, but also have that dream of a bit a land away frim people, with a garden and a few chickens. So, i do understand.
I disagree most people are miserable and don’t like they’re life’s that’s why they act like they don’t understand and make fun of you cause they are miserable just in different ways
You're not a burden to society, YOU are a blessing. You are not more broken, you are more BRAVE, bc everyone else keeps it inside while you have the guts to speak out and scream you are doing your best and you will be a beacon of light for others who can't scream for help.
Birdie you have so much to contribute . You are among those who genuinely care about you. You matter, your life matters, you are not alone, you are so loved.
Oh people with lung problems and Asthma are born with it. And they honestly cannot breath if they have Asthma attacks. A person does not ask to be born with Asthma. Or other lung issues. 🤔
the worst feeling ever is when you want to unalive yourself,but you are too scared to do it so basically it means you are stuck between life and death,not truly alive nor dead
Maybe the fear is a hidden part of yourself that isn't ready to go. And maybe that means somewhere inside of you, you still have a little hope. And that's something to hold onto. ❤️
Hum, I don’t think it is that you want to unalive yourself. In my case there is a very specific intrusive thought that keeps repeating that I died- as in like, there was an accident or I was sick. So it is a feeling of wanting to d*e, but not necessarily wanting to do it yourself. I’m fine and medicated now but I did discuss this with my doctor because it is very specific.
I have the same because I believe that if I unalive myself now that in the next life I will live a similar life and that I again should deal with my problems until I completed my mission by not unaliving myself but just keep going till death comes to me naturally.
Fear is not always bad. In this instance it is actually keeping you alive. You are meant to be here on earth. This wonderful earth is here for all of us, including people with depression. I hope you will recover.
My sweetest dog is named Birdie. I always loved that name and already named my kids so when I got my sweet Birdie that was her furever name. I love it, Birdie.
@@WaywardAbode @WaywardAbode Hi I'm truly sorry how you feel, I feel for you this video made me cry My twin sister went through depression & I had not a clue what was going on So much happened & she sadly passed away in April 2024 I agree with you no one can even imagine how any one feels & I think you explained it very well that is like a never ending complicated puzzle that you stuck on but everyone else has finished I often wonder do people just don't understand or do they just don't care No matter what don't give up I have went through depression my self many times I know how hard it is & feeling like you have no where and no one to turn to The dangers of deep depression no one talks about enough is stress which leads to a lot of complications with the body then can lead to death Also I don't think that our loved ones think bad of us I think it's difficult from experience to see someone you love just sitting there day after day doing nothing & you not knowing what to do or how to help them Not knowing what going on inside the mind or body Having them block you out I know it was difficult for me I also over time became depressed Sometimes we as people say hurtful things to each other because we care I know that sounds counter initiative But say for example someone you love was in a gang or taking drugs And you wanted them to stop but they wouldn't Your become very hurt, confused & angry &. Most of us if not all of us will probably say things we will later regret Because hurt people hurt people When someone we love is hurting we hurt & one hurts the other & the other reacts an hurts the other & its like a chain reaction But I do understand its not good for the depress person on the receiving end because they are already feeling that way But the person who is watching the depress person is also feeling that way because they feel useless like how can I help I don't know if I have explained it well but I know that's how it is for me If you will get back to me I hope I have spread some light on this situation Take care Sending you & your daughter lots of love
Someone who does not suffer from depression will never understand how hard we have it and will judge us harshly. I truly hope you can find some relief soon.
Hola, hello beautiful world God Almighty bless all ❤️Soo sorry, this is your experience?!! I know it's hard I have both mental and physical problems and my life has been beyond difficult, but I've gotten therapy, And also really having a personal relationship with our father God! That has helped me enormously in a huge way and I just know the importance of giving to others ,! Just by asking people how are u doing? Asking those questions is Soo important u should try it God listen and care even when some of us believe 's he doesn't or doesn't exists God bless please try these things you'll see hang in their you'll be happy u did ❤️🦋🌈❤️
@@nicole-mq2dk I don’t suffer from depression. I saw many loved ones suffer for several days or longer with depression and I can’t really relate to that. However, it can be difficult for me to be around someone with long term depression. It’s hard for me because I want to fix it for them and I can’t. I am not sure why I don’t suffer from chronic depression, but I can say that I rarely share sad emotions and most people describe me as very calm to the point of appearing cold or stand-offish. People also describe me as a really good problem solver. I do think if I were to start feeling depressed, I would try to find activities to do to help me get out of it. I probably wouldn’t allow myself to think about the depression for too long. No judgement, just sharing my experience and I do empathize with those who are chronically depressed.
@@Chris-tg3qythat's cute. You can't "think" your way out of depression. Just don't make someone's depression about you, nothing more frustrating than the "I wanna fix wah wah" when you actually don't you're just selfish and annoyed :) just say that. You can't help, nobody wants your help.
This video should be shown to mental health professionals because the lack of understanding is disheartening. Mental health is not a choice, it is an illness just like any other illness but the difference is, it is invisible. The way you explained how mental health impacts our daily lives is profound. Thank you for sharing.
Sadly I’ve found many mental health professionals to be quite disingenuous and often very troubled people themselves. I’m very skeptical of the utility or helpfulness of psychology or ‘wellness’ industry in general, just seems like an industry for ‘professionals’ to make money selling fluff
Try to get help for someone in the middle of a breakdown. It's disturbing how thoughtless, robotic and dismissive those who we are told to call for help are. The professional's, police, paramedics, ER Docs, therapists, social workers, etc. will say they can't do anything unless the person having a breakdown asks for help themselves. These suicide hotlines are there to make people answering the phones feel like they are doing something to help. The only people they are helping to feel better are themselves. It pisses me off to see how little help there is out there for mental illness. On my recent property tax bill (I live in an affluent area and pay very high taxes) I see large sums of money allocated for parks and recreation. Zero dollars toward mental health. Maybe those recreation centers should be turned into safe houses for those with suicidal ideations. Wouldn't it be nice to have a 2 week stay somewhere a person in crisis can get real, compassionate help, and ongoing support for little to no money? Kids in my town don't need those resources. They have wealthy parents who spend thousands on extra curricular activities for their kids annually. Our community tax dollars are wasted on resources most families with kids never use. It's insulting to be turned away from the very thing a person needs because they don't have insurance or money to receive adequate professional help . America is barbaric in it's treatment toward people with mental illness.
Its not an illness, people need to stop saying that. Its a SYMTOM of everything from abuse (usually started in childhood or many other forms of abuse), neglect, fucked up systems, unnatural living conditions, toxic social media, poverty, loneliness, isolation, not being supported enough, not having what a human actually needs to thrive and feel loved and safe etc etc. Our minds are fed so much shit all the time, through technology and everything and ofc its going to fuck with our minds. Being "mentally ill" is our response to a sick and fucked up world! There is nothing wrong with us, what's wrong is our societies have made us think we are broken and need to be "fixed" because we cannot adjust to or even want to keep going in this hell. "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti
When I lost my husband of 30 years in 2018, the very second he died in my arms, every atom in my body wanted desperately to join him. That has not changed. One of the things I find most challenging is feeling obligated to make others feel that whatever words of wisdom they have shared with me have helped. They don’t understand that NOTHING they could ever say would help. I know people love me and want to bring me comfort. How can I tell them to stop? That it’s absolutely pointless in ways that I can’t possibly explain that their little pearls make things worse? People are frightened by the depths of my depression and want to believe that if I am “all better” then somehow they are safe. I can’t be that for people. I have to focus all my energy in just getting through another day.
It’s not even worth it to work anymore. I’m homeless in an old Toyota Sienna minivan in Los Angeles, after losing my housing twice during the pandemic, and couldn’t afford the sky rocketing rents. I work and I’m not a drug addict.
I've had major deppressive disorder for 6 years now. It's really nice hearing I'm not alone (not that I'm happy someone else is going through it, but happy I'm not alone). Most people, even doctors act like I'm faking or that it's something I can just get over. I agree it's impossible to explain, but I think you did a great job!
depression comes like a theif in the night. salt becomes tasteless, colours become dull, sound becomes muted and smell becomes transparent as the mind floats on a cloud of each day repeat.
@@chaoswitch1974 binge eating, watching stimulating shows, listening to too loud music, seeking a direct hit of dopamine because what else is there to do
@@BadMannerKorea what a strange self absorbed thing to say. The description of depression has nothing to do with how it's cured. or do you just like pushing those little buttons on the front of people's body suit?
My wife passed away 7 years ago. She was my shield against depression while she was alive. I have no friends and have severe social anxiety. I have to hide it all because i have a teenaged daughter. Im usually busy trying to distract myself from myself but otherwise struggle to focus on work. So i lost my job of 16 years last week. I must keep going and pretending im ok. This is my life.
I’m sorry you’re struggling, I understand what you’re saying and you’re not alone. Every time a door closes, another one opens, you just haven’t found it quite yet, but you will!
lost my guy almost 4 years ago now. No children but, it never occurred to me that I would be w/o a partner. Many years have passed & my choices are so much slimmer. I have a feeling that there are many more of us than there used to be.
50 years ago I lost my mother to suicide. She left 3 devastated teenage daughters (who have all dealt w/their own depression demons throughout their lives). For the sake of your daughter, I'm glad you chose to stay another day.
Yea this is why I have to fight every second to stay….been trying to kill myself now for 40 some yrs, I’m 52….but u was told my son has a chance to kill themselves if their mother does…..I choose to stay and I DO NOT WANT TOO! He’s 18 now….but at times I resent having to stay for him for my sisters….and I truly don’t resent them for having to force myself to stay for 5 more seconds or 5 more minutes, some days worse than others. I love them with all my broken heart and soul……
My Mom lost all 3 of her son's at different stages of her life and one was to suicide. I'm tired..I don't want to be here, but I have kids and grands. I do not EVER want any of them to have to live with that pain. Yes I suffer from depression and anxiety. Was medicated for probably 18-20 yrs. I stopped every bit of medication last year. I lost 15 lbs because of the meds side effects. Am I better? No. I am however more aware of what triggers the depression and anxiety. The depression is hereditary so unfortunately my kids have some form of the disease. It's a constant chore to stay. Even though I don't want to. But here I am, taking it one breath, one step, one minute at a time. I have to get up everyday and go to work. Im fighting daily for my life. But I keep on going and fighting the demons in my mind. I don't believe in the meds anymore..i believe in getting sun on my face, fresh air and music. Music is what saves me. I will have earbuds in at home or it playing loud in my car. It drowns out the thoughts in my mind. To all of you that fight this....plz stay..plz continue to fight. You are beautiful, you are GOOD, you are needed and most of all you are worthy. ❤
I've been called a 'parasite' by my own parents while doing what was expected of me- go study at university- because i didn't get a part-time job on the side to barely be able to afford a place to move out to. I stayed in my parent's house and commuted daily. I've been called lazy while studying. It took up all my energy to do the one thing, i /could not/ do the other, too. And in the downtime i had, i had to listen to people belittle my efforts. They simply don't know what it's like. They thought pushing and nagging would 'get me off my ass'. My ass was up! I was DOING WHAT I COULD. I gave MY ALL. And somehow it still wasn't enough. And it still isn't. I cried with you and for us all while listening. I know your frustration and pain. Thank you for your honesty and open heart
I was told I was weak and lazy. Then going to college I was told I was wasting my time. Could never win. Took me years, decades to realize my family members were the miserable, negative, hate-filled and weak ones that used me as their punching bag. I'm finally free but recovery has been long and hard. Bless you all and all of you matter! 🫶🌻🧘♀️🌺
Birdie, we came for the van life, we stayed for you. Quit van life, we are all gonna stay to follow YOU and your life ❤️ I have never seen anyone this authentic and sharing on YT. Just look at your comment section, everyone loves you. Van life or not, we will continue to be with you!
This is the truth, Birdie!! We love you no matter where you are! I personally hope you are safe and maybe just taking a short break from Vanlife and TH-cam. If this is the case, good for you! You do what you need to do for yourself! LeeAnn
I recently lost a friend to suicide. This video is absolutely amazing. You should make this a TED talk. I have never heard such a clear explanation of depression and suicidal thoughts. This is SO valuable!
Agreed. She feared that she wouldn’t explain it as well as possible. It is explained better than anyone (after listening to countless explanations) ever. This is bore out of desperation and pain. Thank you for your fearless attempt of explaining the unexplainable. Your attempt is a 10. I am going to forward this to my people who I still consider worthy of hearing this. We need to accept our plot in life. It might be as a sufferer of this affliction or someone who loves a person who is afflicted.
People do not have the same empathy and sympathy for mental illness. There is much more we need to do as a community to address this gap in the healthcare system. Many hugs to you.
Thank you so much for this video. This is my partner right now. I’ve experienced mental health issues myself. I had a full breakdown in 2009. Thought I knew it all. Watching your video really opened my eyes to how she may be feeling. Thank you xxx
Please Lord Jesus Christ wrap your arms around Birdie and give her peace. She is your child and You love her. Please remove the taunting dark thoughts that fill her mind. You say that we have the mind of Christ and we trust in You Lord. She’s more of a blessing to so many of us watching than she even knows. It’s hard for us to understand why we suffer, but Lord you have a perfect plan for our life. I am so grateful for Birdie and her strength to share her story and give encouragement to others who are in suffering. Please bless her Lord ! Amen
Praise God that Birdie is transparent! Bringing this into the light is so important for her and so many others. Yes, we each need Jesus, He is my help with this “thorn in the flesh” that I also have dealt with. I don’t think we were actually meant to “fit in” especially not as defined by others. But, Jesus, He lets us come and rest in Him as we are and then He walks with us, comforts us and carries us. How thankful I am for that and I hope Birdie experiences that too.
You are smart, sweet voice and pretty too. I feel sad of your struggles. I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you for your heart and share very much. Embrace yourself with you and love.🎉
Ppl actually bring children into the world to (suffer) from chronic depression. Kool. You didnt have children, did you? To possibly repeat it. Leave the baby making up to fools bc they love sorrow. I am starting to believe ppl like feeling sad and depress in order to feel good. Peace out everyone and try to have a good day or night wherever you are in the Babylonian or bewildering world.
Hi Depression is an illness people talk about more and more today as it was shunned years ago and people didn’t want to k ow about it. As a retired nurse I too suffer from depression and there’s nothing worse imo. I try to do things that I did before I retired but haven’t got the energy to do it. I have fibromyalgia as well which does not help any. Thank you so much for sharing your story and can relate so well to your vlog. It’s not laziness. If people had depression they would know about it. It’s not a nice place to live with depression. My days vary where I cannot be bothered to get out of bed. People don’t realise how this impacts on mental health Much love and respect from across the pond in ukx
Well expressed. It's a disease that is trying very hard to kill us. "Just" surviving is a constant struggle when it's at that point. It's absolutely exhausting.
You are building a family HERE, on your channel. Zero F's given to anyone who doesn't give you grace for being imperfect and having a brain which functions differently. Your truth is my truth, your words are mine BUT we are stronger than those passing words and feelings. I'm actually jealous of you for having a community here that has your back. I don't have that. Treasure it!
I didn't realize until just now you have a channel! I've just subbed and look forward to being a part of your community. Thank you so much for helping make this one beautiful. I love you.
You are amazing!! Everything you said is exactly how I feel and how I've felt for years! My daughter doesn't understand me but my beautiful grand daughter has the same problem and does understand. She is 32 years old and she is my reason to stay everyday! Just hearing you speak your truth will help so many people!! Thank you!! I hope you never give up because you are enough!!!!❤
At one point when my son was feeling suicidal, he said he wanted to make my life easier by not being here any more. I responded that my life would be a hundred times harder without him.
But in the middle of depression, that comment does not carry the weight you want it to. People often think that if they die, loved will get over it. They may think," I make everyone's life harder. I'm a disappointment to those around me, a burden, they fight about me, get disgusted by me, get mad at me. Etc." I hope you will take the opportunity to work with a therapist to learn how to best support your son. Blessings to you.
In case no one told you today: You’re beautiful. You’re loved. You’re needed. You’re alive for a reason. You’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. I’m glad you’re alive.💖 Today, be gentle and patient with yourself. When you get up in the morning, be open to what the day has to teach you.🌼 When something difficult happens, remember that its primary purpose is to help you learn to love yourself and the other people who share your life.😊 Thank you, Birdie, for sharing your authentic message and heart with us.🙏
If folks thought today was the last day, that the future wasn't real and nothing they did was going to matter later, they wouldn't go to work either. It's a blessing to believe things matter.
I have never in my life heard someone explain so accurately how I feel. I don't know what to say that could repay the catharsis I felt listening to you speak but thanks for saying what I don't think I could put in to words.
My job requires me to be with the public, and I constantly hear how happy I appear to be. I find it hilarious, of course. I’ll die and nobody will ever know the depths of my despair. When I hit my lowest points, I remind myself that, at the very least, I don’t live in a war torn country where I have to fear for my life every day. I’m pulling for all of us.
This comment is one I myself could've made. I spend my time off dreading my next shift. I don't want to leave the house. I have kids that I get up for because they're the only (things) that made me feel anything.
Me too. I hear the same thing often. Especially because when I do go into public, I’m obsessive over putting myself together-I look perfectly fine; I’ve been told to my face “you sure look like you put yourself together” …hilarious, because, this is merely by default of being horrified of most or few ever knowing just how awful I am and feel in my alone time. I have quiet bpd. Despite what society has made it to be, it’s just not true, it effects everyone differently-so, no, just because someoen you knew with bpd is capable of atrocious things..doesn’t mean the next 2,3,4 people with bpd are capable or could even fathom being similar to that one person with bpd (especially those that have had no diagnosis or treatment whatsoever) I have said since I was 21, to family…to partners… I sleep so much because it’s the closest to being dead. I know it sounds so alarming, but-I’m clearly desensitized to it now, it’s not a sad thing for me. Especially for partners that were so very opposite of me, not at all the same childhood… that (even if it was my day off) would scoff at the fact that I could dare sleep so long. After three suicide attempts in my early 20s, at 32, I’ll never go there ever again. I am so thankful for whatever randomly clicked in my brain to make that decision with such certainty-maybe it’s for the hope of others I love not doing the same, so I don’t leave the amount of sadness I hold behind and on another; I could never imagine it. I envy others with so much endurance and energy. It isn’t personal to them. It just is what it is. Chronic depression is so fucking exhausting. Every heart that passes this comment and resonates, I’m only commenting so it’s one more person to prove to you that you are not alone, to add to the many others in addition to this video. I hope more and more begin to open up about this depth of depression, chronic depression. Major, depressive, disorder depression.
People who haven’t been there, will not understand. I’ve been there my friend, I understand. Fight on, thanks for sharing. I am well today. But it took more than a decade. I’m still here and I’m well. Even happy, yes. I hope you can get better. Meanwhile,… another hour, another minute in pain. I’m thinking about you, dear friend. We understand each other.
The feeling of not being able to just move is, kind of a paralysis, the self-loathing and fear , the people saying you're just lazy and wanting a pity party, just makes it worse and you get such anxiety, social phobia. Why do people think we would lie about it when it makes our lives such a mess? It's a constant loop.
Exactly!! Why would anyone want to be this way? It's not a choice we make. It's what we are delt with. There are 2 ways you can get this. It's either you're born with chronic depression or you can develop this mental illness. For me, it was several traumas, and my brain couldn't snap out of it. I've been stuck in this mode since 2008. The struggle is so real. 😢
Hey! Jesus loves you and is with you! He cares about you and your struggles. Today, if you believe in Him you will be saved. No matter how dark it gets on earth, it will end, and one day you will be in Heaven (eternal paradise, no pain) forever, if you believe in Him. He is the only way! Have a blessed day!
It makes it worse when people don't even want to be around you cuz you bum them out. Or people only come around when they want someone to emotionally dump on and then leave to go hang with their "positive" friends. Thats honestly what made me change....I was tired of attracting terrible situations and people due to my own insecurities and inactivity. I went into a deep depression and lost all of my savings and trying to bounce back from that made me vow never to let myself get that stuck again.
no one in my life will ever understand what's happening inside of me. before i was diagnosed with cPTSD last year, the only way I knew how to explain it was "i''m being tortured by my own brain".
I tried counseling, didn't help, no one understands unless they live it every day, but I understand completely, a nightmare that has no escape and never ends, but have to be strong so they don't think I'm lazy and wasted space, I hope you can find therapy that can help
@@youareloved8274 I have, a few times. The last was most successful as my counsellor was the most empathetic person I've ever met. But here in the UK, we tend to get 6-12 sessions. I had to stop because my work took priority. Which was a huge shame as it really helped. I admitted I'll probably always have some degree of depression and have to accept that. I'm 58 and have lived with it 40 years. Like the lovely lady in the video, I have reasons to keep going every day - 3 children and a cat! I just wanted to reach out to you. I feel we can become invisible and I don't want anyone to feel that.
@violetsimmonsbrain As someone with CPTSD and Major Depression my entire life starting with foster care and extreme daily child abuse from my earliest memories till i left the day i turned 18 and so so so sooo much more has happened in the 30 yrs since then, ive described it to ppl saying "it feels like my brain is eating itself"
I just came accross your video by accident.To me you are an amaizing person making the video about your depression. I have faced extreme problems in my life, many due to me actions but I'm not that person anymore. I have suffered for years being depressed and passive suicidal thoughts. I'm sorry you are struggling. You need alot of love and understanding dear girl. ❤
The problem is not you. The problem lies in those who can’t show compassion and understanding. We are all flawed but those who hurt others….those who choose not to help others….are the kink in life’s chain. Thank you for making these videos. They are very, very helpful.
I am studying psychology and in my last class. The professor told us that extreme depression is always short, lived like a few weeks at most. Chronic depression is always the mild type and not rooted in deep emotion but more about the overwhelm of a situation. I questioned him on this.I was like, are you really sure about that. I have been profoundly depressed for most of my life. I find it very difficult to believe that they are teaching this.
googling it ...extreme depression is always short, lived in search ... Persistent depressive disorder is not as severe as major depression.. ..another..These symptoms can last weeksTrusted Source or even months. Some people might have a single episode of major depression, while others experience it throughout their life...but why try to study with depression cos it shrinks destroys memory part of brain so much ..was it by third or
They say these things and teach them because they are ignorant and stupid. They get all their stuff from textbooks - believe me I've met such 'professionals.''
@@BadMannerKorea I did most of that a few years ago and got into the best mental and physical shape of my life, but my condition was still fragile. I was building myself up for the first time in my life. The pandemic derailed me. I lost all the routines and most supports that were helping me at the time. Even though my depression and physical health has been worse since then I am still actively working on myself. I started school a couple years into the pandemic, even when I was at my energetic lowest. I have had the worst insomnia of my life since around the time I started school and still suffer but it is slowly improving. Despite all my efforts to better myself and my relationships my husband left me over the summer. My father, just died a few weeks ago. I am in danger of losing my house, because I never developed a career and cannot work physical jobs like I did in my teens and 20s. By almost every measure I am screwed and it does not appear that my efforts will ever be fruitful. Hope is not a part of me as of right now. Everything I am doing feels like desperation and wishful thinking. Yet, I have straight A's and have managed to make a couple rudimentary connections with classmates, which I am indeed trying to grow, but that takes time. People are only so open to new relationships especially in the area I live. It is well known especially by immigrants in this area that people are hard to connect with. When I was younger and lived in different places I made friends easily even though I moved around a lot. After being beat down a lot by life despite one's best efforts can easily lead to despair and depression. And intense depression can last many years. Which was the original point. Things can help it, but it is possible for extreme depression to linger, unlike what my professor stated. It does people a disservice to deny the extent of their illness. If, as a mental health professional you ask a client about the length of their depression and they say "Years" and you decide based on that that their depression cannot be very bad then you cannot adequately serve that client. whether you want to blame them for lack of action is irrelevant. They need help. And the people who's job it is to help them must not be misled by false facts.
Birdie, you have been so heavy on my mind these past few days. It is now 10/26/2024. I watch your videos as soon as you post. Of all the people we have to choose to watch on TH-cam, almost 22k people have found you, and I would bet, you have made great impact on their lives and the way they think about depression. I know you have mine. Think about that, woman! Your honesty and sincerity touches people - so many people! This particular video has been viewed almost 222,500 times. We can relate to what you have to say - yes, little ‘ol you. We can see parts of your life and struggles in ourselves or in family and friends. You have the most incredible gift to convey so eloquently what is in your heart and mind, whether it be giddy joy or terrible despair. Your uniqueness is your superpower! In my lowly opinion, all the years you’ve lived and felt like you didn’t belong prepared you to touch all of us now. You have fought, and continue to fight, because of your daughter. But I’m here to tell you that so many people NEED to hear what you have to say. We need to feel like we are not alone and we need you to know that you are not alone! Truly, I see a book in your future. Most importantly, Birdie, even if you were able to positively impact just one person in your life, I would consider it a life well lived. But you, my friend, have positively impacted SO MANY more. YOU ARE AMAZING!
My Mother suffered from depression throughout my childhood and often said she wished she could just die. She also told me and my three older siblings she'd wished we'd never been born. Every single day. She worked a full time job raising us alone, never asking anyone for help. She smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day till she died at 86.... Since I was 5 years of age I have never wanted to be here. You forgot to mention the abuse people with depression and other illnesses go through from not only society but from DRS. who are supposed to help people with disabilities.......You never mentioned how hard it is to find housing and how hard it is to eat everyday. or every 3rd day. Life is 100 times harder for people with depression and other disabilities....... Very good video.
My mother also told me how I was the worst thing that happened to her and was good for nothing and unlovable and how she would be better off if we were both dead. My first memory is my mum saying these things, it was every day until I was 12 and started running away and avoiding home. I am now 33 yrs old and still believe I am unlovable and good for nothing and just a burden to others so I now live alone, no friends, no family, no loved ones, just me alone until I work up the courage to hit that self checkout lane.
I lived with MDD for 20+ years. Many of those years I had suicide ideation. The only thing that kept me from stepping in front of a bus was I was a single mother, I stayed alive for my daughter. In the depth of depression a good day is if you manage to brush your teeth. I have many people who have left my life because I was depressed and they wanted more from me than I could give. In 2020, I asked my psychiatrist that I was ready to try ECT. Nothing would relieve the pain. He suggested a fairly new procedure called rTMS. It’s not evasive and not medication. I went through 2 sets of treatment 2 times about a year apart. My depression is in remission and has been for a couple of years. I may have to have a “tune-up”, but this was a true miracle. I got my life back. Mental illness is brutal and most people don’t understand. People don’t want to be around mentally ill people and you become alone. Nobody likes people that are depressed. I’ve come to the belief that we do have a right to end our life. The pain is unbearable. But, I do recommend to look into rTMS treatment.
I know this sounds horrible but a non-professional family member isn't equipped to handle many mental illnesses such as bi-polar, borderline personality disorder or chronic depression. I know, in my family, these issues, as well as addiction to alcohol and drugs just seemed to spread to everyone else in the family until you put your hands up in the air and say 'i don't know what to do to help you'. Please try to be understanding of those who love you. They can't relate, in most cases. In most towns across the country there are churches, therapists, clinics, etc. where people have more knowledge in dealing with these issues and they can help you. Often, family just seems to make things worse.
@@sandyjohnson5111 I'm so sorry for you. Honestly, it's not true that a family member doesn't like people who are depressed. They try to solve it for the depressed person and their efforts are usually futile. I've never had these issues but have spent over forty years trying to help family members who did. For the person suffering with the illness, it's not enough to just survive because you have kids. My daughter suffered with these issues and now both my grandkids have similar issues because depression is all they've ever known and witnessed. If you want to ensure your children grow up mentally well, they have to see an 'upside' that contains laughter, joy and seeing that their parent seeks treatment from professionals. Don't give you trying but, also, don't hand down the disease to the children who don't know any other way of surviving except struggling.
This was me for twenty-five years, pretty much everything you described. I know many don’t like to hear this, but it’s my truth - by the grace of God, I was miraculously healed. I will be praying for you, love. 🙏🏼 ❤️
I am a step away from van life. If my disabled (hit by a car) husband didn’t DoorDash for my agoraphobic butt, we would be starving. Some nights we don’t eat, but we have heat or electric. There are things to be thankful for yes, but like you said, if we don’t acknowledge each others suffering, than what’s the point? I love you and my heart breaks for you. I know these feelings so well. I wake up with sweaty palms and nauseous anxiety with a downward spiraling small business. My husband and I always tell each other we equal one person. If you ever need help, or a safe place to park, you are always welcome in my life. I know what you feel, without belittling it, I know those feelings. I have a homeless man a hug and some water and change after digging through my garbage the other day. I told him I’m sorry life is like this. I’m truly sorry life is like this. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
What a beautiful person you are. The world is so blessed to have you in it. And, it sounds like, your husband. Thank you for being here. And thank you for helping me feel seen and less alone. I love you.
Your generous response to Birdie made sob, in a good way. I am a doordasher, like your hubs, and I literally dash to keep lights on, so I know how yall feel. Just know your kindness toward Birdie made me feel so hopeful about this world. ❤❤❤
If you got up every day and jumped in the shower, you would not be depressed. I know that you’re living in your van but there’s gotta be a way to wash up.
Thank you for sharing this... I know the cost it is to share your soul with us. Thank you for your voice speaking into this space that many of us are still trying to find our voice and words. Your voice validates my struggle. You are LOVED ❤
Screw society. This modern world is not set up for the sensitive souls to thrive whatsoever. You’re body and mind are in survival mode. That’s why there is no energy left for basic functioning. If we care so much what society thinks of us then we remain trapped. I’ve been in this place. Dealing with chronic pain, crippling anxiety and onset depression I’m still coming out of this freeze state. It’s not easy. But it starts by taking control back of your mind.... it’s in every little moment. When the voice tells you to end it and you’ve not worthy you say back, I AM worthy and CHOOSE to heal. You have to be on it all the time. Retiring these pathways. That’s what it take. Nourish you’re body with good things and find ways to regulate you’re nervous system. You ARE WORTH IT
“Choosing to heal?” I’m sure you must know that this is a fallacy for most of us with crippling depression. It’s like “choosing climate change to get better “. Not realistic. But I know what you’re saying is coming from a loving place.
The struggle is there every day. I’ve found that art helps. But of course getting the will to pick up that brush is a real challenge. It’s like everything you do requires momentous effort
Omg this is me, I have the most stacked awesome art studio that I have always wanted , I’m a great artist & it’s my passion outside of nursing (I’m off right now) but I can no longer feel that passion & inspiration & literally want to create but haven’t the energy to pick up the brush ….everything is hard & surviving is a burden and I don’t know why I can’t get up out of bed even, it’s possibly all the trauma I’ve been thru for most of my life but it’s bizarre to have desire to participate and function but not be able to move….and it’s always oh I’ll feel better tomorrow and be more productive and all that jazz but tomorrow never comes
Every single thing. I tried to explain it to someone by saying that if I found out I won the lottery but had to shower, get dressed and drive 30 minutes to pick up my winnings within 2 hours, I'd spend the next 2 hours trying to get out of bed.
I’m 64 and this video touched me more than any others I have ever watched. You are a special lady and I’m sure you have helped many people from this real and raw testimony. Much love and respect❤.
I’m watching as a person who suffers from depression. Rely struggles with it. Maybe no one knew how to help me, but I tried desperately for people to understand last year. I truly contemplated ending my life. Today I don’t want to die,but I’m struggling to live. Thank you for this.
I have heard that some cultures believe that we are here to exist, as the trees are, as the fields are. Not to strive. You have nothing to be ashamed of and I know you know that and carry it anyway. I hope you release that burden. And then go on to letting go of the idea that there's anything you need to feel or think in order to be loved. Because, omg, you are so loveable. The only limit to your compassion seems to be yourself. Who cares what people without empathy think about how you live your life. It's yours. You're the expert. Not them.
So very true! Society strives for all the wrong reasons. We are human beings, not human doings. Cliché, yes, but oh so true. Birdie, you being you is inspiring and oh so lovable!! Thank you for sharing your heart every day!!
I started your video a few minutes ago. And yes, I bypassed the warning. I thought I could make it. But I could not. Since finding your videos and understanding the dibilitating depression you went through, I began to understand my son’s mental health. He suffered from deep social anxiety amongst other things. He had a loving wife, he had health care, but he insisted on fixing himself. It really didn’t work very well. When I spoke to him last, in mid February, he said he needed his privacy. He wasn’t depressed. He insisted on that. 10 days later he was gone. I’m not claiming he took his own life. It’s still hard to fathom that. He had been sick. Lung stuff. But things in his life were improving. His wife had a new job, money problems were going away…and we don’t have the autopsy yet. But if he did, I will never forgive myself for not doing something. I was in town. I was minutes away. But if he did NOT take his own life, he is finally at peace. His wife was with him that final moment. He knew he was loved Please to you family of watchers. Don’t ignore mental Illness. Don’t let it slide past you. Do what you can. Birdie, thanks for bringing it to the forefinger. Love❤
What you have to keep telling yourself is that sometimes you truly can’t stop someone from leaving. If they really want to, they will. Family members can only do and do and do so much. ♥️
Your son was an adult. He told you he was fine and asked for privacy. If it ends up he did take his own life, you should try to not feel responsible, because you aren't. You were making decisions based on what he told you.
Best viseo ive ever aeen. I’m 50 years old about to live in my car in four days. I took a medication they gave me diabetes so now I’m insulin dependent and dealing with major depressive disorder. Your video and honesty gives me hope. God makes a way out of no way. Today was haaaarrrrd. Love u Gurl you took the words out of my mouth.🎉
Wow, a medication gave you diabetes! That's awful! I'm so sorry to hear that. I cannot imagine dealing with that on top of depression. I'm so sorry. I hope with all my heart things get better for you soon. And I hope even more than that that you stick around as long as you can. The world certainly needs you. It can use all the loving souls it can get.
The puzzle was a perfect analogy. People that don't experience will never know what we go through. It sucks. I feel like I'm just existing. No one can beat me up more than I beat myself up. I don't understand how I can't get up and function like a normal person. Depression physically hurts, and most people don't understand that.
Hi Birdie, I am a TBI survivor (traumatic brain injury) so I really appreciate you making this video. I enjoy your upbeat videos but you being so open and honest is also refreshing. ❤❤️🩹❤️
Thank you so much, Suzie. I'm so sorry to hear of your injury. I can't even imagine how hard that is. I hope life is treating you more kindly these days. ❤️
I do things because I have to. Like work and such. I feel absolutely zero joy about anything. Everyone and everything is exhausting, and I can't even get a break with sleep because I can't sleep. I just keep going until, eventually, in the future, i can sleep forever finally. I wish I could just feel some sort of positive emotion, anything. I feel like a bitter shell about to break. Like standing in a line that lasts forever, and you don't even know what you're waiting in line for
@amygalvin1799 My doctor knows about my sleep issues, but medicine rarely works. Trazadone doesn't work anymore, and I have bad reactions to sleep meds. Trazadone is the only one that my doctor will give me. Melatonin doesn't help either. I've tried everything, and I'm still unable to fall asleep, or if I do fall asleep, I can't stay asleep. It's torture. I've been battling sleep for so long.
I went to do this through about twenty years. What I found was that counseling was really helpful. Definitely knowing jesus and having interhealing and deliverance I've never been able to work 40 hours a week.Maybe thirty. I'm a u s citizen, and I live overseas teaching English I'm a self supported Christian missionary. I really want to encourage you. Those of you who have struggled like I have, please. Give jesus a chance. It really does get better. He does provide what you need to find healing and rest. I've never been a drain on society, family, or friends. He really does heal and set people free. I don't ask myself to do anything I ask Jesus❤ Please find jesus. The voice is not a good thing that's satan. Don't give up run to jesus
I've battled depression all my life. I lean on God for everything . I take medicine for my depression, and it helps. I've changed my lifestyle. I'm a Christian; yes, Christians get depressed too. I see nothing wrong with taking medicine; God gave us doctors for a reason. But what I do is pray, listen to Christian music, and listen to the Bible on audio. When I wasn't living for our Lord and Savior, I had chronic depression. These days I'm doing awesome. I'm happy; I'm at peace.I pray God gives you peace that surpasses all understanding.
Thank you, THANK YOU. I am going through a divorce and I have been severely depressed for the past 6 months (I also have ADHD) for some reason, I was unable to cry and was starting to feel heavy and suffocated. I cried my heart out with you..your words at 24:04 broke me. It felt like a hug. I cannot thank you enough. I feel a lot lighter right now. Please stay..we need you. You are a blessing..THIS is your purpose. You helped and provided relief to a 31 year-old woman in India (literally on the opposite side of the planet) You don't even realise it. Everyone..all of us is NEEDED. Although it seems impossible, keep dreaming about that little house and couch cos it costs nothing. You are doing enough even if the rest of the world doesn't agree. Thank you for being here. I wish I had a sister like you around me.
Fellow spiral brain here. I really needed to hear this today, I haven’t been able to get out of bed all day and I’ve been so hard on myself for it. I’m sorry you’ve been struggling, and I’m so glad that you’re still here with us after a hard week ❤ Something that I wanted to add as someone with multiple neurological and psychological issues is that the side effects of all these medications they put us on can make life SO MUCH HARDER. I’m currently taking a relatively new medication that makes it near impossible to remember or concentrate and the fatigue is unreal. Regular people don’t have to deal with that, so from an outside perspective it looks like I’m suddenly slacking off at work, but my brain literally just doesn’t work because of this new migraine prevention medication. You just never know what someone else is going through. Always lead with compassion first. Thank you so much for sharing, Birdie 💕 Your channel always warms my heart and this video made me feel seen
I totally should have talked about that in the video! You're so right that the medication we take to "help," often makes things so much harder. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I hope maybe after your body gets used to it it becomes easier. I can't even imagine how hard it is to live with migraines. I hope today is easier.
@waywardabode You covered so much in your video and it was so raw and real. It’s totally okay that you didn’t include every experience under the sun ☺️ I’m hopeful too, not all days are good days, but I’m so blessed to have access to a good care team that I can take these concerns to. I wish you all the best Birdie, I truly hope things get better for you 💕
You are extremely intelligent and sharing your struggles I am sure will help so many. Hold on to the God who sent his only Son to die in your place setting you FREE. 2 Timothy 1: 7 💕💕🙏🏻🙏🏻💕💕
So…you articulate how depression feels. If I needed to explain what it’s like to someone, I’d have them listen to your words. People can’t imagine something they haven’t experienced. I’ve lived long enough (in my 7th decade) to know that my depression episodes are cyclical and, hopefully, sooner rather than later, I’ll cycle back to a better place for a while. As a Christian, I have hope, because of the cross and resurrection, that things will be put right one day. Love from the Deep South from a fellow broken crayon. Thank you for your videos.
My 18 yr old daughter is currently experiencing this. She decided to finally decided to open up to me. It absolutely crushed me because I myself suffered depression and anxiety. I was at my worst between the ages 15 to 24. By the time I reached 20 I couldn't even get out of bed most days. I unsuccessfully unalived 3 times during those yrs and was hospitalised several time. It took me years to find the right path for myself. IT'S SOOO HARD....😢 All I did was let my daughter talk, cry, scream, and let it all out. I didn't say a word. I just held her. I thanked her for letting me in her world and said NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU'RE LOVED, AND NO MATTER HOW BAD IT GETS "STAY WITH ME." She has taken the 1st step together with me to see a Dr. I told her that she is in the beginning of a long hard road, and even though she may feel the pain, she will never be alone because I understand ❤ To anyone going through this, I'm proud of you and we need you all to STAY. ❤ I know now how my poor parents felt during my decent. But they were my reason for fighting even though I hated them sometimes for it. I can only hope my understanding is enough for my baby girl also. ❤
@Eric-ej3oy Hi Eric, sorry I upset you. I didn't mean it like that. I meant I'm proud of peoples strength and resilience to fight this each and every day. I don't agree that it's hell, though. For me, hell would've been a walk in the park compared to what I battle each day.
You sound like a wonderfully supportive mother, and your daughter is very fortunate to have you. With that said, have you considered the reality of the world your daughter is living in as the cause of her suffering, rather than a supposed “chemical imbalance”? That it’s the world that is broken and not her? It can be incredibly difficult as someone who sees themselves as weak, broken, incapable, etc., to acknowledge how very broken the world is. To acknowledge that the people who want to prescribe them drugs and diagnose them are far more broken than they, themselves, are. Because when you acknowledge the world is broken, then there is nobody to save you. When the people who are supposedly there to help you are even more broken, objectively, than you are, then who will take your problems away? But once we are able to acknowledge and accept how broken the world is, so much suffering goes away, and we no longer feel like we need to be saved. Because in reality, all suffering is is resistance to what is. I would imagine that having children played a big role in you getting better? Well, sadly, it’s becoming less and less likely that younger people are going to be able to have children(for financial reasons and for social reasons), and even then, it’s never optimal to heal ourselves through having kids. It doesn’t work anyway. If our pain diminishes, it only comes back with a vengeance once our children begin to experience pain. Your daughter may not be ready to see the world more as it is, but if you are ready, your healing will pass through you and onto her. If a mother can accept a broken world, she can accept her children no matter what, and that is what all human beings need more than anything; to be accepted, unconditionally, by a woman.
@katieandnick4113 I couldn't agree more. My daughter, unfortunately, has seen the world for what it can be in her young life. From the moment of her birth, she has witnessed her a parent fighting cancer not once but twice and suffered/witnessed the terrible loss of all her grandparents, of whom she was inseparable. She helped us all care for their every need through their unbearable suffering as they all passed well before their time. Cancer sucks! That's all I can say. She also learned what true unconditional love is. The love and wisdom shared between them something you can not put a price on. On the flip side, though, she lives in fear to love another because she knows loss all too well. She needs time and patience to heal. But young ones have no patience, lol. I know I didn't. Not everyone requires medication, I agree. Just love, acceptance, and patience. Is enough for some. Only time will tell.
Dear Birdie, I want you to know that I woke up today feeling completely hopeless. Instead of getting up I just reached for my phone and started scrolling on instagram, watching everyone showing off their completed puzzles while I cant even look at the pieces of mine anymore. I wake up everyday with the fear that is just too late now. That there is no point in even trying when there are no guarantees in life. And then I remembered you. I deliberately searched this video bc I remembered seeing it on my feed but didn’t click on it then bc I was scared. Scared of how much I would identify with your words AGAIN. But instead, your words made me wanna get up like never before. Idk, maybe its something about knowing that there are people out there who get it and who are trying and are so strong for that. You are so strong and you dont even know it. We can never see the strength in ourselves, just in others. But listening to you made me wanna get up and pick up another piece of the puzzle in the hope that maybe I can one day help someone else get up too, like you just did for me without even knowing. You know, maybe the secret is just accepting that the end result of your puzzle is not meant to look like everybody else’s. Maybe the answer comes up when we stop looking to the side, seeing other’s finished puzzles and trying to guide our own by the picture they formed. That will only leave us with a puzzle that makes no sense and the pieces were all forced to fit together and we cant even stand to look at it bc it’s clearly a mess. Maybe people like you and me (and I am guessing most of your audience) are in this world to help those who cannot put into words what you just put. Maybe we feel so much and so intensely bc, that’s exactly our purpose on this Earth: to feel things and then help others on their journey. I know what is like to wish you were just like everybody else. To ask myself daily WHY I have to live with this illness while so many people never had to. But after finding you it kinda made sense a bit, you know. Bc I wish you could understand how your decision to just start vlogging and be as authentic as you can be about your struggles has already made a huge difference in so many people’s lives. And I am betting you would never have done that if you were just like everybody else, working happily on 9 to 5. Something brought you here and these hard days you are going through… well, on the other side of them it is usually where the gold is at. It might be where your puzzle starts to make sense. So dont put down the pieces yet. Bc in your own way you are helping others pick up their pieces too❤ Laura
Birdie, I’m so sorry you have to live with this. It reinforces my perception that you are an amazingly strong person. Thanks for doing an awesome job of peeling back the curtain, of spreading knowledge and understanding. Please stay. Please please stay. The world would be a little less bright without you in it. Love you Birdie! I’m so glad I found your channel. You have touched my life and made it richer. ❤
Sleeping 20 hours a day ain't fun. I'm not lazy, it's not even the meds but a Severe case of Chronic Depression. It's Fxxxxxn hard. Lost my two best mates to it 18 months apart. Nearly went for a run at it myself but I promised my kids I wouldn't and I'm a Man of my word. Just makes it harder yet again. Meditation, some legitimate medication and I Hope nobody has to go through it. Thanks for sharing and being so Beave Beautiful 🙏🏻💙🇦🇺
I wish we could all be together and feel the joy of understanding each other. Most therapists don't even get us, let alone family and friends. It's comforting as hell to know other's haven't put their puzzle together either.
Exactly!!! I "tried" therapy for a few months but...she was a nice person and all but once said : " OK, now let's talk about more pragmatic stuff!", when I was speaking about something that kills me slowly ( children and anu«imal suffering), I understood it wasn't for me
As a 40 year old man whos been suicidal and has spent time in a mental health unit. Im keeping you in my prayers. It wasnt until last year when i decided to focus my energy on my spiritual health. I truly believe a lot of mental health is spiritual in nature. Youre spirit is still in your vessel for a reason. You still have a purpose on this earth. I pray you will become aware of that soon. God bless you.
You are so VERY brave to explain this horrific disease. I think having your channel has helped not only yourself but has had a positive impact on others as well. You are SO very loved. ❤❤❤
![[TH] 2024 PMGC League | Survival Stage วันที่ 1 | PUBG MOBILE Global Championship](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/FVFT-PFwU80/mqdefault.jpg)
Depression is like living in a body that fights to SURVIVE with a mind that wants to DIE
Cancer is the opposite
Wow very well put.
@@tobe-you-tube6612
I have cancer n I want to leave im in California it’s legal here for assistance in dying 😢. Im so ready
@@SSsmith24look into a book (free pdf online) called “one minute cure”. It has to do with food grade hydrogen peroxide and it’s ability to flood the body with oxygen. Don’t give up.
@@SSsmith24❤❤❤❤
People don't get how truly exhausting it is to function.
Yes but we are not living the way we were supposed to. That's why it can be so draining.
@@jessicahitchens6926 indeed, people didn't have official jobs in primevil days, we used our energy judiciously in our earlier times.
@@jessicahitchens6926 What way to you think we are supposed to?
It gets so severe for me that getting up for the toilet feels like a an overwhelming effort. Torture. Tiny things everyone does on autopilot become mental and physical mountains.
Turn to Jesus He loves you, He is the healer of the body And savior of the soul, There is True Hope in Jesus, God protects Psalms 91, He is the God of miracles Acts 2:21 And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved Jesus alone saves Trust Him with your salvation John 3:16
1 Corinthians 15 1-4
Moreover Brethren, i declare unto you the gospel which i preached unto you, which also ye have received, and with wherein ye stand
By which also ye are saved, if you keep in memory what i preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain,
For i delivered unto you first of all that which i also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures
And that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the scriptures, Take care
The dread of going to bed knowing you have to wake up to do it all over again is extremely draining and daunting.
Ah, there it is! The words that said My existence! Thank you😥
@@MagicalCreations-fw7pj existing is hard, I get it.
Yes. I feel like I'm running as hard as I can, and I'm not getting anywhere, and I'm not enjoying myself.
@@Mrs.Currie you don’t need to go anywhere. You were only meant to be alive, what you do doesn’t equate to your worth. Start small. Try to reconnect with 8 year old you and do small things you find fun and make you smile. Even if it’s just making a nice cup of coffee in the morning or a colorful bubble bath in the evening. You’re doing enough just being you, I promise.
I stay up all night thinking I can avoid the existential dread of waking up. Ha
"Just because your doctor has a name for your condition,doesent mean he knows what it is"
Franz Kafka
doctors are the LAST person you should ever talk to
@@youaresoft-ee4ubSelf advocacy.
totally no one gets it unless they have lived your life
Remember, broken crayons still draw beautiful pictures ❤️🫂❤️
From this crayon to another❤
What an absolutely beautiful sentence. Thank you so much.
Love this!
I needed this. Thanks Tamara.
This is my favorite saying. From another broken crayon.
Amen ❤
Yes! Yes! Yes! If someone says that they have any type of disease, people will come to your house & bring you 3 meals a day, clean your house & walk your dog. But tell someone that you suffer with mental illness & they will leave you like you have the plague... family included.
Yes!!!!!!!!!!! OMG yes!!!! I know this is probably shitty of me to say, but I've often wished I had practically any other illness. ANY OTHER one. Because no matter how debilitating it is, if it's a physical thing instead of a mental thing, more people will have some compassion for you, some understanding of your limitations. But that's just not so for us. So we're dealing with our own self-hatred, our limited capabilities and the ramifications of that, and the hatred and scorn from so many people. I feel bad thinking this way because obviously I can't know what it's like to walk in other people's shoes. But it seems to me like practically any other illness would be easier. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. But it's how I feel.
YES! So true!
It is SO difficult to tell another what you need, what you can & cannot do, what you're thinking, feeling ... and get responses such as: a blank stare; you're not trying; there's people worse off than you; just think positive; it'll all work out; don't feel that way; stop being a victim; keep your chin up; do you want to hear a joke?etc., etc.. (from friends, family, health professionals)
23-yrs ago, I was 51-50'd and due to that experience I now lie to ALL healthcare workers when I'm thinking of ending the struggle.
Birdie, you seem like such a gentle, kind & compassionate soul & with your honesty, vulnerability & wicked sense of humor are having a profound effect & touching others.
I feel understood, heard & not so abandoned by watching your videos.
Maybe that IS your purpose, your work?
Thank you for being you & letting us share your journey! ❤❤❤
This is so true. I have no one that I can tell about how I feel without being misunderstood and judged. I feel my depression is situational, and I feel like I'm being judged by people who are showing their privilege. It makes me feel alone as then people do disappear.
The world is not divided into people with mental illness and everyone else who is perfectly tickety-boo. So don't denigrate either yourself or others by assuming that you are just being cast aside because they don't think you are important enough to care.
The expectation that others should be able to carry the burden of your long term problems as well as their own is unreasonable. The harsh reality is that they may simply not have the wherewithal to cope, any more than you do. That does not automatically mean that they don't care.
Don't fall into the trap of being judgemental of others because you believe (possibly erroneously) that you are being judged by them.
Don't think too many dropped me just tried to convince me there was actually nothing wrong and pull yourself together others do it why can't you hmm really well what about the dead ones I said it didn't seem to work for them they fell apart not together they lost all hope still awaiting a reply but they sent lots of others my way trying to convince me everything would be fine if I just let it, well 40 odd years later still trying to pull my self together but as I gets bits together other bits fall out funny how life goes aye
YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO YOU.
💯
What does this video have to do with me ?
And people don't understand that. That's why I absolutely refuse to talk to and include new people into what I am going through. I have one friend that gets it and I feel good talking to. Everyone else has these dumb, insensitive things to say like it's so easy. I just wish I could snap 🫰 a finger and they are in my position and flip it on then and say what they just said to me and see how it feels
You are 100% correct. I didn't understand it either untill it happened to me.
until WHAT happens to you??
You’re not mentally ill, you’re seeing things clearly. People are just blind
Thank you so much for sharing. You are able to articulate what I am unable to say. My depression ebbs and flows. Some days I just keep repeating to myself this too will pass. And so far it does.
@@nocomments5029 exactly. Perfectly said.
Exactly. Depression often sets in when you are awake to how sick society is, but everyone around you is still under the "spell" of so called normalcy.
I read this somewhere:
Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks.
It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed.
You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation.
If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all.
If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself.
Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.
Such a great description. You’ve been there too. I can see it in people’s faces now, if they have depression. I saw it for so long on my own face, it’s easy to spot. There’s a slackness to the face. Have you noticed that?
Yup! Exactly!
This is one of the best descriptions of depression I have ever seen!
Well written.
Every word rings true.
This is the best description I have come across. I’m 62 Birdy and I am in California.Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time.
It's the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends but hate socialising. It's wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It's caring about everything then caring about nothing. It's feeling everything at once then feeling paralysingly numb.
Yes! It is exactly what you said. The push and pull is agonizing. I'm so sorry you understand it so well. I'm sending you my love. I hope the sun is shining on you today.
You've described it perfectly
Wow. Ty for putting it so eloquently. I struggle with the words.❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤
YES !! Me too !! Thank you 😞
“'Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” - Seneca
I quote from decades of experience.
Courage is that quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." ❤
I have never cared about what society thinks of me. I do not consider not wanting to live in this unfair and brutal reality a sign of depression but a sign of health.
Being well adjusted to a profoundly disturbed society is not any measure of good health... Paraphrased from J Krishnamurti, indian philosopher
It’s just a natural reaction
Unfair and brutal reality is right. Before my mother passed, she said to look for the beauty. Sometimes it is so hard to do.
It's being a prisoner in your own body, but you can't escape from yourself.
Or being prisonner of our own brain.😞
That’s exactly how I feel and I’ve said it so many times
People would tell me to get out and go do things. I’d ask, “Why would I want to do that?! I am with myself 24 hours a day, why would I want to spend more time with myself by myself?!”
People never understood.
Life is hard😢😢😭😭
You are a beautiful and intelligent soul. We love you and we appreciate your honesty
People would be surprised to learn I’ve been passively suicidal for decades and I’m not 40 yet. They have no clue
❤
Same. You don't talk about it because no one wants to really hear about it.
@@Kementiri some people want to hear about it. But they don’t seem to be in our lives when we need to talk about it.. 💕💝
@@Kementiri or to bother others
I'm here if u want to talk, life has been hard. Super depressed
I haven't wanted to be in this world since I was about 15. I found my dad's .32 and had it in my closet and looked at it every day. When my parents found out the reaction was "What were you going to do? Shoot Us? What would the neighbors think?" I realized then that nobody gives a F and left home at 16.
They're gone now and my last real friend died last Sept of a massive heart attack.
Between the Severe Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder bordering on Agoraphobia there is no social life and frankly, I don't trust people much anymore.
My house is a wreck. A lot of days I don't even feel like taking a shower. The thing that keeps me going is this big floof currently using my leg as a pillow.
I'm 63 now and just plain tired as hell. At least now I know there's Someone that understands.
Thank you for that.
If you ever come to Oregon I have a place for you to park. Stay safe. Stay here. Please.
i agree with you. we don't need alot. just knowing SOMEONE is out there that understands is a pebble removed from the sack of boulders we carry around in our heads and hearts.
❤
@@dagnolia6004 Agreed!!!
I can relate with this. 🙏💖
My house is a wreck and my fur babies keep me going too. 🌞🐈🐾🐕✨
Look at all your comments! You have created your own little family of caring people who understand. I began vandwelling in 2009, just because it was too difficult to try and be the person everyone wanted me to be. I searched for a goal bigger than myself to distract me from that depression. Ended up learning to kayak and kayaking all 50 states, just to keep from dwelling on my depression. Still a nomad, but also have that dream of a bit a land away frim people, with a garden and a few chickens.
So, i do understand.
Most people don’t know how painful and exhausting life can be for some of us.
Thank you.
I disagree most people are miserable and don’t like they’re life’s that’s why they act like they don’t understand and make fun of you cause they are miserable just in different ways
try to step out of the victimhood with the poor me speeches
@@opticalman6417
Ha Ha 😂 your the only victim here
Crazy person 🧍♀️
@@dianaortiz9775 really lol
You're not a burden to society, YOU are a blessing. You are not more broken, you are more BRAVE, bc everyone else keeps it inside while you have the guts to speak out and scream you are doing your best and you will be a beacon of light for others who can't scream for help.
Perfect 👌
What an amazing thing to say. Thank you so very much. ❤️
❤she is amazing. Birdie you do matter. You are a gift. @Bethannx
Birdie you have so much to contribute . You are among those who genuinely care about you. You matter, your life matters, you are not alone, you are so loved.
So true!
"why are you always so depressed? There's is so much joy in the world"
"why are you an asthmatic? There is enough air to breath..."
Love from Germany
Oh people with lung problems and Asthma are born with it. And they honestly cannot breath if they have Asthma attacks. A person does not ask to be born with Asthma. Or other lung issues. 🤔
It's *breathe* not "breath"
@@carriefawcett9990 yes, thank you 🙏
@@carriefawcett9990how many languages do you speak, besides English?
@@k74715wieso entschuldigst Du Dich dafür?
the worst feeling ever is when you want to unalive yourself,but you are too scared to do it
so basically it means you are stuck between life and death,not truly alive nor dead
Maybe the fear is a hidden part of yourself that isn't ready to go. And maybe that means somewhere inside of you, you still have a little hope. And that's something to hold onto. ❤️
Hum, I don’t think it is that you want to unalive yourself. In my case there is a very specific intrusive thought that keeps repeating that I died- as in like, there was an accident or I was sick. So it is a feeling of wanting to d*e, but not necessarily wanting to do it yourself. I’m fine and medicated now but I did discuss this with my doctor because it is very specific.
I have the same because I believe that if I unalive myself now that in the next life I will live a similar life and that I again should deal with my problems until I completed my mission by not unaliving myself but just keep going till death comes to me naturally.
Fear is not always bad. In this instance it is actually keeping you alive. You are meant to be here on earth. This wonderful earth is here for all of us, including people with depression. I hope you will recover.
Birdie, I am glad you decided to stay today. Thank you.
Thank you for saying that. Thank you for feeling it. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your truth.❤
Praying you continue choosing to stay!❤
You rule! You matter! Love ya❤
My sweetest dog is named Birdie. I always loved that name and already named my kids so when I got my sweet Birdie that was her furever name. I love it, Birdie.
@@WaywardAbode @WaywardAbode Hi I'm truly sorry how you feel, I feel for you this video made me cry
My twin sister went through depression & I had not a clue what was going on
So much happened & she sadly passed away in April 2024
I agree with you no one can even imagine how any one feels & I think you explained it very well that is like a never ending complicated puzzle that you stuck on but everyone else has finished
I often wonder do people just don't understand or do they just don't care
No matter what don't give up
I have went through depression my self many times
I know how hard it is & feeling like you have no where and no one to turn to
The dangers of deep depression no one talks about enough is stress which leads to a lot of complications with the body then can lead to death
Also I don't think that our loved ones think bad of us I think it's difficult from experience to see someone you love just sitting there day after day doing nothing & you not knowing what to do or how to help them
Not knowing what going on inside the mind or body
Having them block you out
I know it was difficult for me I also over time became depressed
Sometimes we as people say hurtful things to each other because we care I know that sounds counter initiative
But say for example someone you love was in a gang or taking drugs
And you wanted them to stop but they wouldn't
Your become very hurt, confused & angry &. Most of us if not all of us will probably say things we will later regret
Because hurt people hurt people
When someone we love is hurting we hurt & one hurts the other & the other reacts an hurts the other & its like a chain reaction
But I do understand its not good for the depress person on the receiving end because they are already feeling that way
But the person who is watching the depress person is also feeling that way because they feel useless like how can I help
I don't know if I have explained it well but I know that's how it is for me
If you will get back to me I hope I have spread some light on this situation
Take care
Sending you & your daughter lots of love
Someone who does not suffer from depression will never understand how hard we have it and will judge us harshly. I truly hope you can find some relief soon.
Tru Dat
Hola, hello beautiful world God Almighty bless all ❤️Soo sorry, this is your experience?!! I know it's hard I have both mental and physical problems and my life has been beyond difficult, but I've gotten therapy, And also really having a personal relationship with our father God! That has helped me enormously in a huge way and I just know the importance of giving to others ,! Just by asking people how are u doing? Asking those questions is Soo important u should try it God listen and care even when some of us believe 's he doesn't or doesn't exists God bless please try these things you'll see hang in their you'll be happy u did ❤️🦋🌈❤️
I still find it so hard to comprehend that there are people who don't ever suffer from depression.
@@nicole-mq2dk I don’t suffer from depression. I saw many loved ones suffer for several days or longer with depression and I can’t really relate to that. However, it can be difficult for me to be around someone with long term depression. It’s hard for me because I want to fix it for them and I can’t. I am not sure why I don’t suffer from chronic depression, but I can say that I rarely share sad emotions and most people describe me as very calm to the point of appearing cold or stand-offish. People also describe me as a really good problem solver. I do think if I were to start feeling depressed, I would try to find activities to do to help me get out of it. I probably wouldn’t allow myself to think about the depression for too long. No judgement, just sharing my experience and I do empathize with those who are chronically depressed.
@@Chris-tg3qythat's cute. You can't "think" your way out of depression. Just don't make someone's depression about you, nothing more frustrating than the "I wanna fix wah wah" when you actually don't you're just selfish and annoyed :) just say that. You can't help, nobody wants your help.
This video should be shown to mental health professionals because the lack of understanding is disheartening. Mental health is not a choice, it is an illness just like any other illness but the difference is, it is invisible. The way you explained how mental health impacts our daily lives is profound. Thank you for sharing.
Sadly I’ve found many mental health professionals to be quite disingenuous and often very troubled people themselves. I’m very skeptical of the utility or helpfulness of psychology or ‘wellness’ industry in general, just seems like an industry for ‘professionals’ to make money selling fluff
Yes, and even more widely.
Try to get help for someone in the middle of a breakdown. It's disturbing how thoughtless, robotic and dismissive those who we are told to call for help are. The professional's, police, paramedics, ER Docs, therapists, social workers, etc. will say they can't do anything unless the person having a breakdown asks for help themselves. These suicide hotlines are there to make people answering the phones feel like they are doing something to help. The only people they are helping to feel better are themselves.
It pisses me off to see how little help there is out there for mental illness. On my recent property tax bill (I live in an affluent area and pay very high taxes) I see large sums of money allocated for parks and recreation. Zero dollars toward mental health. Maybe those recreation centers should be turned into safe houses for those with suicidal ideations. Wouldn't it be nice to have a 2 week stay somewhere a person in crisis can get real, compassionate help, and ongoing support for little to no money? Kids in my town don't need those resources. They have wealthy parents who spend thousands on extra curricular activities for their kids annually. Our community tax dollars are wasted on resources most families with kids never use.
It's insulting to be turned away from the very thing a person needs because they don't have insurance or money to receive adequate professional help . America is barbaric in it's treatment toward people with mental illness.
Its not an illness, people need to stop saying that. Its a SYMTOM of everything from abuse (usually started in childhood or many other forms of abuse), neglect, fucked up systems, unnatural living conditions, toxic social media, poverty, loneliness, isolation, not being supported enough, not having what a human actually needs to thrive and feel loved and safe etc etc. Our minds are fed so much shit all the time, through technology and everything and ofc its going to fuck with our minds. Being "mentally ill" is our response to a sick and fucked up world! There is nothing wrong with us, what's wrong is our societies have made us think we are broken and need to be "fixed" because we cannot adjust to or even want to keep going in this hell.
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
- Jiddu Krishnamurti
Agreed!!! It's also hormonal imbalances especially in women. Due to the unnatural life we now live.
When I lost my husband of 30 years in 2018, the very second he died in my arms, every atom in my body wanted desperately to join him. That has not changed. One of the things I find most challenging is feeling obligated to make others feel that whatever words of wisdom they have shared with me have helped. They don’t understand that NOTHING they could ever say would help. I know people love me and want to bring me comfort. How can I tell them to stop? That it’s absolutely pointless in ways that I can’t possibly explain that their little pearls make things worse? People are frightened by the depths of my depression and want to believe that if I am “all better” then somehow they are safe. I can’t be that for people. I have to focus all my energy in just getting through another day.
I'm 65 and I've waited 55 years to hear these words. You get me, you really do. Thank you so much.
Damn, i can't live that long!😮💨
✨️🙏🏻✨️
@ManuelAkaho777 I thought that too. I'm 56..still waiting
64 here and this was my thought exactly! ❤
Krishnamurti: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
love that quote
Truth.
So do what you want, no one cares anyway
@@SincerityCerity THIS. 🎤
It’s not even worth it to work anymore. I’m homeless in an old Toyota Sienna minivan in Los Angeles, after losing my housing twice during the pandemic, and couldn’t afford the sky rocketing rents. I work and I’m not a drug addict.
@@CowardBobBent-Reborn so sorry, praying for you and sending positive vibes
You need to move back in with your dad. Leave the storage lockers and the Focus behind.
@@dachicagoan8185 You're just another one who will never understand.
whatever you do keep away from drugs, even alcohol.
@@drgeek100 I will keep smoking weed.
I've had major deppressive disorder for 6 years now. It's really nice hearing I'm not alone (not that I'm happy someone else is going through it, but happy I'm not alone). Most people, even doctors act like I'm faking or that it's something I can just get over. I agree it's impossible to explain, but I think you did a great job!
depression comes like a theif in the night. salt becomes tasteless, colours become dull, sound becomes muted and smell becomes transparent as the mind floats on a cloud of each day repeat.
❤❤❤
Or all those things become the distractions, the reasons you live because you're spending every moment to find that reason to choose life.
@@chaoswitch1974 binge eating, watching stimulating shows, listening to too loud music, seeking a direct hit of dopamine because what else is there to do
@@xladder3972 yes.
@@BadMannerKorea what a strange self absorbed thing to say. The description of depression has nothing to do with how it's cured. or do you just like pushing those little buttons on the front of people's body suit?
My wife passed away 7 years ago. She was my shield against depression while she was alive. I have no friends and have severe social anxiety. I have to hide it all because i have a teenaged daughter. Im usually busy trying to distract myself from myself but otherwise struggle to focus on work. So i lost my job of 16 years last week. I must keep going and pretending im ok. This is my life.
i'm sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how hard it is for you. I'm a single mom of a teenager as well and need to find work. It all too much.
So sorry about losing your Wife & depression, it is a very hard illness to battle. Wishing you all the best Sir. 🙏
I’m sorry you’re struggling, I understand what you’re saying and you’re not alone. Every time a door closes, another one opens, you just haven’t found it quite yet, but you will!
Sorry, man, that sounds awful. Try to stay strong and vigilant. We love you for being strong for our daughters.
lost my guy almost 4 years ago now. No children but, it never occurred to me that I would be w/o a partner. Many years have passed & my choices are so much slimmer. I have a feeling that there are many more of us than there used to be.
50 years ago I lost my mother to suicide. She left 3 devastated teenage daughters (who have all dealt w/their own depression demons throughout their lives). For the sake of your daughter, I'm glad you chose to stay another day.
I’m sorry for the loss and trauma associated with losing your mom that way ❤ my husband’s father just committed suicide and it’s rough
@@MyLifeInTheDesertSorry for your loss as well.
Its going to many more. But who cares.
Yea this is why I have to fight every second to stay….been trying to kill myself now for 40 some yrs, I’m 52….but u was told my son has a chance to kill themselves if their mother does…..I choose to stay and I DO NOT WANT TOO! He’s 18 now….but at times I resent having to stay for him for my sisters….and I truly don’t resent them for having to force myself to stay for 5 more seconds or 5 more minutes, some days worse than others. I love them with all my broken heart and soul……
My Mom lost all 3 of her son's at different stages of her life and one was to suicide. I'm tired..I don't want to be here, but I have kids and grands. I do not EVER want any of them to have to live with that pain. Yes I suffer from depression and anxiety. Was medicated for probably 18-20 yrs. I stopped every bit of medication last year. I lost 15 lbs because of the meds side effects. Am I better? No. I am however more aware of what triggers the depression and anxiety. The depression is hereditary so unfortunately my kids have some form of the disease. It's a constant chore to stay. Even though I don't want to. But here I am, taking it one breath, one step, one minute at a time. I have to get up everyday and go to work. Im fighting daily for my life. But I keep on going and fighting the demons in my mind. I don't believe in the meds anymore..i believe in getting sun on my face, fresh air and music. Music is what saves me. I will have earbuds in at home or it playing loud in my car. It drowns out the thoughts in my mind. To all of you that fight this....plz stay..plz continue to fight. You are beautiful, you are GOOD, you are needed and most of all you are worthy. ❤
I've been called a 'parasite' by my own parents while doing what was expected of me- go study at university- because i didn't get a part-time job on the side to barely be able to afford a place to move out to. I stayed in my parent's house and commuted daily. I've been called lazy while studying.
It took up all my energy to do the one thing, i /could not/ do the other, too. And in the downtime i had, i had to listen to people belittle my efforts.
They simply don't know what it's like. They thought pushing and nagging would 'get me off my ass'.
My ass was up!
I was DOING WHAT I COULD.
I gave MY ALL.
And somehow it still wasn't enough.
And it still isn't.
I cried with you and for us all while listening. I know your frustration and pain. Thank you for your honesty and open heart
you are strong and powerful. i’m proud of you. much love.
same with my shitty toxic sibling
I was told I was weak and lazy. Then going to college I was told I was wasting my time. Could never win. Took me years, decades to realize my family members were the miserable, negative, hate-filled and weak ones that used me as their punching bag. I'm finally free but recovery has been long and hard. Bless you all and all of you matter! 🫶🌻🧘♀️🌺
Birdie, we came for the van life, we stayed for you. Quit van life, we are all gonna stay to follow YOU and your life ❤️ I have never seen anyone this authentic and sharing on YT. Just look at your comment section, everyone loves you. Van life or not, we will continue to be with you!
Yeah! 💙
This is the truth, Birdie!! We love you no matter where you are! I personally hope you are safe and maybe just taking a short break from Vanlife and TH-cam. If this is the case, good for you! You do what you need to do for yourself!
LeeAnn
Yes!!!!!!
Hang in there everyone. we can do this. love to everyone. ❤
True dat!
Lifetime sufferer here. It is so exhausting pretending that everything is OK all the time. I admire your bravery. I love you ❤🤗
Ppl actually bring children into the world to suffer. Kool. I admire thier bravery.
I struggle with depression and anxiety. It takes all my energy to get out of bed. I have cut myself off from most people.
Me too 😢
Same! I get more anti social each year.
I know what it’s like
I honestly feel much better when I’m in a down time not talking to anyone. I feel there is less pressure to be social or act normal.
Have you asked your Angel/Guide to remove your depression? I did out of desperation and it worked instantly. God bless.
What a relief to find a community of people who understand
Thank you for being part of that. ❤️
I recently lost a friend to suicide. This video is absolutely amazing. You should make this a TED talk. I have never heard such a clear explanation of depression and suicidal thoughts. This is SO valuable!
Yeah, this video would be an awesome TED talk!
Agreed. She feared that she wouldn’t explain it as well as possible. It is explained better than anyone (after listening to countless explanations) ever. This is bore out of desperation and pain. Thank you for your fearless attempt of explaining the unexplainable. Your attempt is a 10. I am going to forward this to my people who I still consider worthy of hearing this. We need to accept our plot in life. It might be as a sufferer of this affliction or someone who loves a person who is afflicted.
Yes. That's what I couldn't express 😅. It was a clear description. You have a way with words.
People do not have the same empathy and sympathy for mental illness. There is much more we need to do as a community to address this gap in the healthcare system. Many hugs to you.
It's like dealing with a monster that only you can see it, and no one else.
Thank you so much for this video.
This is my partner right now.
I’ve experienced mental health issues myself.
I had a full breakdown in 2009.
Thought I knew it all.
Watching your video really opened my eyes to how she may be feeling.
Thank you xxx
And if you are her daughter reading this, your mom is brave. And you are too. 💗. She loves you so much.
Please Lord Jesus Christ wrap your arms around Birdie and give her peace. She is your child and You love her. Please remove the taunting dark thoughts that fill her mind. You say that we have the mind of Christ and we trust in You Lord. She’s more of a blessing to so many of us watching than she even knows. It’s hard for us to understand why we suffer, but Lord you have a perfect plan for our life. I am so grateful for Birdie and her strength to share her story and give encouragement to others who are in suffering. Please bless her Lord ! Amen
Amen,amen, and AMEN 🙏!!!!!!
Amen ✝️🙏❤️
Praise God that Birdie is transparent! Bringing this into the light is so important for her and so many others. Yes, we each need Jesus, He is my help with this “thorn in the flesh” that I also have dealt with. I don’t think we were actually meant to “fit in” especially not as defined by others. But, Jesus, He lets us come and rest in Him as we are and then He walks with us, comforts us and carries us. How thankful I am for that and I hope Birdie experiences that too.
Im confused.
Amen! Where two or more agree...{ Matthew 18 (19-20)}
I suffer from chronic depression but from my air conditioned apartment with my dogs. I think you are so brave. Thank you for sharing your journey. ❤
Thank you so much for being with me. I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with something so difficult. I hope you are having an easier day today. ❤️
you're special share yourself with someone who deserves you.
You are smart, sweet voice and pretty too. I feel sad of your struggles. I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you for your heart and share very much. Embrace yourself with you and love.🎉
Ppl actually bring children into the world to (suffer) from chronic depression. Kool. You didnt have children, did you? To possibly repeat it. Leave the baby making up to fools bc they love sorrow. I am starting to believe ppl like feeling sad and depress in order to feel good.
Peace out everyone and try to have a good day or night wherever you are in the Babylonian or bewildering world.
Hi
Depression is an illness people talk about more and more today as it was shunned years ago and people didn’t want to k ow about it. As a retired nurse I too suffer from depression and there’s nothing worse imo. I try to do things that I did before I retired but haven’t got the energy to do it. I have fibromyalgia as well which does not help any. Thank you so much for sharing your story and can relate so well to your vlog. It’s not laziness. If people had depression they would know about it. It’s not a nice place to live with depression. My days vary where I cannot be bothered to get out of bed. People don’t realise how this impacts on mental health
Much love and respect from across the pond in ukx
Well expressed. It's a disease that is trying very hard to kill us. "Just" surviving is a constant struggle when it's at that point. It's absolutely exhausting.
You are building a family HERE, on your channel. Zero F's given to anyone who doesn't give you grace for being imperfect and having a brain which functions differently. Your truth is my truth, your words are mine BUT we are stronger than those passing words and feelings. I'm actually jealous of you for having a community here that has your back. I don't have that. Treasure it!
I didn't realize until just now you have a channel! I've just subbed and look forward to being a part of your community. Thank you so much for helping make this one beautiful. I love you.
@@WaywardAbodeoh! A new channel? Where?
Ur so right she's definitely loved and truly cared for by her family of friends 💖💝
Very well said!
HUGS MY FRIEND! You are saying what so many needs to hear. I’m proud of you.
You are amazing!! Everything you said is exactly how I feel and how I've felt for years! My daughter doesn't understand me but my beautiful grand daughter has the same problem and does understand. She is 32 years old and she is my reason to stay everyday! Just hearing you speak your truth will help so many people!! Thank you!! I hope you never give up because you are enough!!!!❤
Jim Carey says his understanding of depression (he experienced ) was ..when the soul is tired of playing a certain role..
I know mine is.
@@annettegilkes5587 also "deep rest" which seems necessary.
At one point when my son was feeling suicidal, he said he wanted to make my life easier by not being here any more. I responded that my life would be a hundred times harder without him.
Amen to that.
That’s it
Amen ❤
But in the middle of depression, that comment does not carry the weight you want it to. People often think that if they die, loved will get over it. They may think," I make everyone's life harder. I'm a disappointment to those around me, a burden, they fight about me, get disgusted by me, get mad at me. Etc."
I hope you will take the opportunity to work with a therapist to learn how to best support your son. Blessings to you.
@@lmiller1413You are 💯 right.
You sound like a sweet kind person. Here you are helping other people a generous soul. I send you a hug. Please hang in there!
Those who were meant to get it...Got It. I said a prayer for you. ❤
In case no one told you today: You’re beautiful. You’re loved. You’re needed. You’re alive for a reason. You’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. I’m glad you’re alive.💖
Today, be gentle and patient with yourself. When you get up in the morning, be open to what the day has to teach you.🌼
When something difficult happens, remember that its primary purpose is to help you learn to love yourself and the other people who share your life.😊
Thank you, Birdie, for sharing your authentic message and heart with us.🙏
You're alive to share this with me. I needed this to show to those who love me and just don't understand.
Yes she is she is amazing.
If folks thought today was the last day, that the future wasn't real and nothing they did was going to matter later, they wouldn't go to work either. It's a blessing to believe things matter.
What an excellent way to put this. Thank you.
This is enlightening.
Very well put.
I have never in my life heard someone explain so accurately how I feel. I don't know what to say that could repay the catharsis I felt listening to you speak but thanks for saying what I don't think I could put in to words.
My job requires me to be with the public, and I constantly hear how happy I appear to be. I find it hilarious, of course. I’ll die and nobody will ever know the depths of my despair. When I hit my lowest points, I remind myself that, at the very least, I don’t live in a war torn country where I have to fear for my life every day. I’m pulling for all of us.
This comment is one I myself could've made. I spend my time off dreading my next shift. I don't want to leave the house. I have kids that I get up for because they're the only (things) that made me feel anything.
I think about the war-torn countries too to get through - much love to you❤
I think working with public causes depression. One cannot shield oneself from the truth that other ppl are Aholes.
I work in publuc.i feel very Inadiqit.im very under educated and I left my family at 14.!
Me too. I hear the same thing often.
Especially because when I do go into public, I’m obsessive over putting myself together-I look perfectly fine; I’ve been told to my face “you sure look like you put yourself together” …hilarious, because, this is merely by default of being horrified of most or few ever knowing just how awful I am and feel in my alone time.
I have quiet bpd.
Despite what society has made it to be, it’s just not true, it effects everyone differently-so, no, just because someoen you knew with bpd is capable of atrocious things..doesn’t mean the next 2,3,4 people with bpd are capable or could even fathom being similar to that one person with bpd (especially those that have had no diagnosis or treatment whatsoever)
I have said since I was 21, to family…to partners… I sleep so much because it’s the closest to being dead. I know it sounds so alarming, but-I’m clearly desensitized to it now, it’s not a sad thing for me.
Especially for partners that were so very opposite of me, not at all the same childhood… that (even if it was my day off) would scoff at the fact that I could dare sleep so long.
After three suicide attempts in my early 20s, at 32, I’ll never go there ever again. I am so thankful for whatever randomly clicked in my brain to make that decision with such certainty-maybe it’s for the hope of others I love not doing the same, so I don’t leave the amount of sadness I hold behind and on another; I could never imagine it.
I envy others with so much endurance and energy. It isn’t personal to them. It just is what it is.
Chronic depression is so fucking exhausting.
Every heart that passes this comment and resonates, I’m only commenting so it’s one more person to prove to you that you are not alone, to add to the many others in addition to this video.
I hope more and more begin to open up about this depth of depression, chronic depression. Major, depressive, disorder depression.
“It’s no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”- Jiddu Krishnamurti
I’m rooting for you. Being a prisoner of your own mind is hell.
People who haven’t been there, will not understand. I’ve been there my friend, I understand. Fight on, thanks for sharing.
I am well today. But it took more than a decade.
I’m still here and I’m well. Even happy, yes.
I hope you can get better. Meanwhile,… another hour, another minute in pain. I’m thinking about you, dear friend. We understand each other.
The feeling of not being able to just move is, kind of a paralysis, the self-loathing and fear , the people saying you're just lazy and wanting a pity party, just makes it worse and you get such anxiety, social phobia. Why do people think we would lie about it when it makes our lives such a mess? It's a constant loop.
Exactly!! Why would anyone want to be this way? It's not a choice we make. It's what we are delt with. There are 2 ways you can get this. It's either you're born with chronic depression or you can develop this mental illness. For me, it was several traumas, and my brain couldn't snap out of it. I've been stuck in this mode since 2008. The struggle is so real. 😢
Hey! Jesus loves you and is with you! He cares about you and your struggles. Today, if you believe in Him you will be saved. No matter how dark it gets on earth, it will end, and one day you will be in Heaven (eternal paradise, no pain) forever, if you believe in Him. He is the only way! Have a blessed day!
It makes it worse when people don't even want to be around you cuz you bum them out. Or people only come around when they want someone to emotionally dump on and then leave to go hang with their "positive" friends. Thats honestly what made me change....I was tired of attracting terrible situations and people due to my own insecurities and inactivity. I went into a deep depression and lost all of my savings and trying to bounce back from that made me vow never to let myself get that stuck again.
Give it all to God
no one in my life will ever understand what's happening inside of me. before i was diagnosed with cPTSD last year, the only way I knew how to explain it was "i''m being tortured by my own brain".
I hope you are able to access some therapy
I tried counseling, didn't help, no one understands unless they live it every day, but I understand completely, a nightmare that has no escape and never ends, but have to be strong so they don't think I'm lazy and wasted space, I hope you can find therapy that can help
@@youareloved8274 I have, a few times. The last was most successful as my counsellor was the most empathetic person I've ever met. But here in the UK, we tend to get 6-12 sessions. I had to stop because my work took priority. Which was a huge shame as it really helped.
I admitted I'll probably always have some degree of depression and have to accept that. I'm 58 and have lived with it 40 years. Like the lovely lady in the video, I have reasons to keep going every day - 3 children and a cat!
I just wanted to reach out to you. I feel we can become invisible and I don't want anyone to feel that.
@violetsimmonsbrain As someone with CPTSD and Major Depression my entire life starting with foster care and extreme daily child abuse from my earliest memories till i left the day i turned 18 and so so so sooo much more has happened in the 30 yrs since then, ive described it to ppl saying "it feels like my brain is eating itself"
I'm happy that you are alive. You are important and the world needs you.
💯
I just came accross your video by accident.To me you are an amaizing person making the video about your depression. I have faced extreme problems in my life, many due to me actions but I'm not that person anymore. I have suffered for years being depressed and passive suicidal thoughts.
I'm sorry you are struggling.
You need alot of love and understanding dear girl. ❤
The problem is not you. The problem lies in those who can’t show compassion and understanding. We are all flawed but those who hurt others….those who choose not to help others….are the kink in life’s chain. Thank you for making these videos. They are very, very helpful.
AMEN
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
They are the Weakest Links! 😉
I am studying psychology and in my last class. The professor told us that extreme depression is always short, lived like a few weeks at most. Chronic depression is always the mild type and not rooted in deep emotion but more about the overwhelm of a situation. I questioned him on this.I was like, are you really sure about that. I have been profoundly depressed for most of my life. I find it very difficult to believe that they are teaching this.
googling it ...extreme depression is always short, lived in search ... Persistent depressive disorder is not as severe as major depression.. ..another..These symptoms can last weeksTrusted Source or even months. Some people might have a single episode of major depression, while others experience it throughout their life...but why try to study with depression cos it shrinks destroys memory part of brain so much ..was it by third or
You question what they say, and with experience. You will be a fantastic psychologist.
They say these things and teach them because they are ignorant and stupid. They get all their stuff from textbooks - believe me I've met such 'professionals.''
O
@@BadMannerKorea I did most of that a few years ago and got into the best mental and physical shape of my life, but my condition was still fragile. I was building myself up for the first time in my life. The pandemic derailed me. I lost all the routines and most supports that were helping me at the time. Even though my depression and physical health has been worse since then I am still actively working on myself. I started school a couple years into the pandemic, even when I was at my energetic lowest. I have had the worst insomnia of my life since around the time I started school and still suffer but it is slowly improving. Despite all my efforts to better myself and my relationships my husband left me over the summer. My father, just died a few weeks ago. I am in danger of losing my house, because I never developed a career and cannot work physical jobs like I did in my teens and 20s. By almost every measure I am screwed and it does not appear that my efforts will ever be fruitful. Hope is not a part of me as of right now. Everything I am doing feels like desperation and wishful thinking.
Yet, I have straight A's and have managed to make a couple rudimentary connections with classmates, which I am indeed trying to grow, but that takes time. People are only so open to new relationships especially in the area I live. It is well known especially by immigrants in this area that people are hard to connect with. When I was younger and lived in different places I made friends easily even though I moved around a lot.
After being beat down a lot by life despite one's best efforts can easily lead to despair and depression. And intense depression can last many years. Which was the original point. Things can help it, but it is possible for extreme depression to linger, unlike what my professor stated. It does people a disservice to deny the extent of their illness. If, as a mental health professional you ask a client about the length of their depression and they say "Years" and you decide based on that that their depression cannot be very bad then you cannot adequately serve that client. whether you want to blame them for lack of action is irrelevant. They need help. And the people who's job it is to help them must not be misled by false facts.
I hurt for all the people that feel this way! Including myself...I'm so tired! Mental illness is no joke.
Birdie, you have been so heavy on my mind these past few days. It is now 10/26/2024. I watch your videos as soon as you post. Of all the people we have to choose to watch on TH-cam, almost 22k people have found you, and I would bet, you have made great impact on their lives and the way they think about depression. I know you have mine. Think about that, woman! Your honesty and sincerity touches people - so many people! This particular video has been viewed almost 222,500 times. We can relate to what you have to say - yes, little ‘ol you. We can see parts of your life and struggles in ourselves or in family and friends. You have the most incredible gift to convey so eloquently what is in your heart and mind, whether it be giddy joy or terrible despair. Your uniqueness is your superpower! In my lowly opinion, all the years you’ve lived and felt like you didn’t belong prepared you to touch all of us now. You have fought, and continue to fight, because of your daughter. But I’m here to tell you that so many people NEED to hear what you have to say. We need to feel like we are not alone and we need you to know that you are not alone! Truly, I see a book in your future. Most importantly, Birdie, even if you were able to positively impact just one person in your life, I would consider it a life well lived. But you, my friend, have positively impacted SO MANY more. YOU ARE AMAZING!
I can't even begin to find the right words to thank you for this message. It means more to me than I can say. Thank you so much. ❤️
@Wayw💟↔️☮️ardAbode
My Mother suffered from depression throughout my childhood and often said she wished she could just die. She also told me and my three older siblings she'd wished we'd never been born. Every single day. She worked a full time job raising us alone, never asking anyone for help. She smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day till she died at 86.... Since I was 5 years of age I have never wanted to be here. You forgot to mention the abuse people with depression and other illnesses go through from not only society but from DRS. who are supposed to help people with disabilities.......You never mentioned how hard it is to find housing and how hard it is to eat everyday. or every 3rd day. Life is 100 times harder for people with depression and other disabilities....... Very good video.
It's tragic to think of a little child hearing their mom say she wants to die and wished you weren't born. No child should hear that.
Yea, people who don’t get it or act like they do, usually think you can get better. Which is possible. But that takes work and can be exhausting too.
Heart breaking
My mother also told me how I was the worst thing that happened to her and was good for nothing and unlovable and how she would be better off if we were both dead. My first memory is my mum saying these things, it was every day until I was 12 and started running away and avoiding home. I am now 33 yrs old and still believe I am unlovable and good for nothing and just a burden to others so I now live alone, no friends, no family, no loved ones, just me alone until I work up the courage to hit that self checkout lane.
@@TheRealJosh1-IYKYK listen... we arent what others say we are ..we are what we say we are
I lived with MDD for 20+ years. Many of those years I had suicide ideation. The only thing that kept me from stepping in front of a bus was I was a single mother, I stayed alive for my daughter. In the depth of depression a good day is if you manage to brush your teeth. I have many people who have left my life because I was depressed and they wanted more from me than I could give. In 2020, I asked my psychiatrist that I was ready to try ECT. Nothing would relieve the pain. He suggested a fairly new procedure called rTMS. It’s not evasive and not medication. I went through 2 sets of treatment 2 times about a year apart. My depression is in remission and has been for a couple of years. I may have to have a “tune-up”, but this was a true miracle. I got my life back.
Mental illness is brutal and most people don’t understand. People don’t want to be around mentally ill people and you become alone. Nobody likes people that are depressed. I’ve come to the belief that we do have a right to end our life. The pain is unbearable.
But, I do recommend to look into rTMS treatment.
I know this sounds horrible but a non-professional family member isn't equipped to handle many mental illnesses such as bi-polar, borderline personality disorder or chronic depression. I know, in my family, these issues, as well as addiction to alcohol and drugs just seemed to spread to everyone else in the family until you put your hands up in the air and say 'i don't know what to do to help you'. Please try to be understanding of those who love you. They can't relate, in most cases. In most towns across the country there are churches, therapists, clinics, etc. where people have more knowledge in dealing with these issues and they can help you. Often, family just seems to make things worse.
My sister did it and it helped for awhile. I have no idea what it feels like to not have depression
@@sandyjohnson5111 I'm so sorry for you. Honestly, it's not true that a family member doesn't like people who are depressed. They try to solve it for the depressed person and their efforts are usually futile. I've never had these issues but have spent over forty years trying to help family members who did. For the person suffering with the illness, it's not enough to just survive because you have kids. My daughter suffered with these issues and now both my grandkids have similar issues because depression is all they've ever known and witnessed. If you want to ensure your children grow up mentally well, they have to see an 'upside' that contains laughter, joy and seeing that their parent seeks treatment from professionals. Don't give you trying but, also, don't hand down the disease to the children who don't know any other way of surviving except struggling.
@@mariademers3111I don’t either 😢
Just remember God loves you. We love you and pray you find peace.
Thank you, Nat. I love you too.
In what way and which god?
This was me for twenty-five years, pretty much everything you described. I know many don’t like to hear this, but it’s my truth - by the grace of God, I was miraculously healed. I will be praying for you, love. 🙏🏼 ❤️
It’s so exhausting. People that don’t understand have no clue the strength it takes to keep going. Sending you ALL my love. ❤😞
It really is ✨️🙏🏻✨️
I am a step away from van life.
If my disabled (hit by a car) husband didn’t DoorDash for my agoraphobic butt, we would be starving.
Some nights we don’t eat, but we have heat or electric.
There are things to be thankful for yes, but like you said, if we don’t acknowledge each others suffering, than what’s the point?
I love you and my heart breaks for you.
I know these feelings so well.
I wake up with sweaty palms and nauseous anxiety with a downward spiraling small business.
My husband and I always tell each other we equal one person.
If you ever need help, or a safe place to park, you are always welcome in my life.
I know what you feel, without belittling it, I know those feelings.
I have a homeless man a hug and some water and change after digging through my garbage the other day.
I told him I’m sorry life is like this.
I’m truly sorry life is like this.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
What a beautiful person you are. The world is so blessed to have you in it. And, it sounds like, your husband. Thank you for being here. And thank you for helping me feel seen and less alone. I love you.
Birdy I truly wish you the best. It breaks my heart about your sadness. I have a sister that has problems. Please keep trying we love you ❤
Your generous response to Birdie made sob, in a good way. I am a doordasher, like your hubs, and I literally dash to keep lights on, so I know how yall feel. Just know your kindness toward Birdie made me feel so hopeful about this world. ❤❤❤
If you got up every day and jumped in the shower, you would not be depressed. I know that you’re living in your van but there’s gotta be a way to wash up.
That puzzle metaphor is excellent. We are not all given the tools that help make life doable.
Thank you for sharing this... I know the cost it is to share your soul with us. Thank you for your voice speaking into this space that many of us are still trying to find our voice and words. Your voice validates my struggle. You are LOVED ❤
Screw society. This modern world is not set up for the sensitive souls to thrive whatsoever. You’re body and mind are in survival mode. That’s why there is no energy left for basic functioning.
If we care so much what society thinks of us then we remain trapped. I’ve been in this place. Dealing with chronic pain, crippling anxiety and onset depression I’m still coming out of this freeze state.
It’s not easy. But it starts by taking control back of your mind.... it’s in every little moment. When the voice tells you to end it and you’ve not worthy you say back, I AM worthy and CHOOSE to heal. You have to be on it all the time. Retiring these pathways. That’s what it take. Nourish you’re body with good things and find ways to regulate you’re nervous system. You ARE WORTH IT
“Choosing to heal?” I’m sure you must know that this is a fallacy for most of us with crippling depression. It’s like “choosing climate change to get better “. Not realistic. But I know what you’re saying is coming from a loving place.
The struggle is there every day. I’ve found that art helps. But of course getting the will to pick up that brush is a real challenge. It’s like everything you do requires momentous effort
Omg this is me, I have the most stacked awesome art studio that I have always wanted , I’m a great artist & it’s my passion outside of nursing (I’m off right now) but I can no longer feel that passion & inspiration & literally want to create but haven’t the energy to pick up the brush ….everything is hard & surviving is a burden and I don’t know why I can’t get up out of bed even, it’s possibly all the trauma I’ve been thru for most of my life but it’s bizarre to have desire to participate and function but not be able to move….and it’s always oh I’ll feel better tomorrow and be more productive and all that jazz but tomorrow never comes
Every single thing. I tried to explain it to someone by saying that if I found out I won the lottery but had to shower, get dressed and drive 30 minutes to pick up my winnings within 2 hours, I'd spend the next 2 hours trying to get out of bed.
I’m 64 and this video touched me more than any others I have ever watched. You are a special lady and I’m sure you have helped many people from this real and raw testimony. Much love and respect❤.
Amen to that.
I’m watching as a person who suffers from depression. Rely struggles with it. Maybe no one knew how to help me, but I tried desperately for people to understand last year. I truly contemplated ending my life. Today I don’t want to die,but I’m struggling to live. Thank you for this.
we are with you and you are loved
I have heard that some cultures believe that we are here to exist, as the trees are, as the fields are. Not to strive. You have nothing to be ashamed of and I know you know that and carry it anyway. I hope you release that burden. And then go on to letting go of the idea that there's anything you need to feel or think in order to be loved. Because, omg, you are so loveable. The only limit to your compassion seems to be yourself. Who cares what people without empathy think about how you live your life. It's yours. You're the expert. Not them.
So very true! Society strives for all the wrong reasons. We are human beings, not human doings. Cliché, yes, but oh so true. Birdie, you being you is inspiring and oh so lovable!! Thank you for sharing your heart every day!!
Buddha said: if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.
I started your video a few minutes ago. And yes, I bypassed the warning. I thought I could make it. But I could not. Since finding your videos and understanding the dibilitating depression you went through, I began to understand my son’s mental health. He suffered from deep social anxiety amongst other things. He had a loving wife, he had health care, but he insisted on fixing himself. It really didn’t work very well. When I spoke to him last, in mid February, he said he needed his privacy. He wasn’t depressed. He insisted on that. 10 days later he was gone. I’m not claiming he took his own life. It’s still hard to fathom that. He had been sick. Lung stuff. But things in his life were improving. His wife had a new job, money problems were going away…and we don’t have the autopsy yet. But if he did, I will never forgive myself for not doing something. I was in town. I was minutes away. But if he did NOT take his own life, he is finally at peace. His wife was with him that final moment. He knew he was loved
Please to you family of watchers. Don’t ignore mental
Illness. Don’t let it slide past you. Do what you can.
Birdie, thanks for bringing it to the forefinger. Love❤
You did do something. You talked to him in February. You did that. Forgive yourself.
What you have to keep telling yourself is that sometimes you truly can’t stop someone from leaving. If they really want to, they will. Family members can only do and do and do so much. ♥️
Birdie pleeeeeeease seek help! ask.....You have people who watch you, who would help ❤ ask for help.....
Your son was an adult. He told you he was fine and asked for privacy. If it ends up he did take his own life, you should try to not feel responsible, because you aren't. You were making decisions based on what he told you.
No matter the outcome, you did what you could for your son and that is enough. You clearly love him and it shows.
Best viseo ive ever aeen. I’m 50 years old about to live in my car in four days. I took a medication they gave me diabetes so now I’m insulin dependent and dealing with major depressive disorder. Your video and honesty gives me hope. God makes a way out of no way. Today was haaaarrrrd. Love u Gurl you took the words out of my mouth.🎉
Wow, a medication gave you diabetes! That's awful! I'm so sorry to hear that. I cannot imagine dealing with that on top of depression. I'm so sorry. I hope with all my heart things get better for you soon. And I hope even more than that that you stick around as long as you can. The world certainly needs you. It can use all the loving souls it can get.
I hate it when people say ...just shake it off....like omg really wouldn't that be the thing we would do if we could!!
The puzzle was a perfect analogy. People that don't experience will never know what we go through. It sucks. I feel like I'm just existing. No one can beat me up more than I beat myself up. I don't understand how I can't get up and function like a normal person. Depression physically hurts, and most people don't understand that.
Hi Birdie, I am a TBI survivor (traumatic brain injury) so I really appreciate you making this video. I enjoy your upbeat videos but you being so open and honest is also refreshing. ❤❤️🩹❤️
Thank you so much, Suzie. I'm so sorry to hear of your injury. I can't even imagine how hard that is. I hope life is treating you more kindly these days. ❤️
I, too, have TBI. Very complicated for most to understand.
I do things because I have to. Like work and such. I feel absolutely zero joy about anything. Everyone and everything is exhausting, and I can't even get a break with sleep because I can't sleep. I just keep going until, eventually, in the future, i can sleep forever finally. I wish I could just feel some sort of positive emotion, anything. I feel like a bitter shell about to break. Like standing in a line that lasts forever, and you don't even know what you're waiting in line for
You really got me with the last line. I feel your pain.
@@lynnc5649 Yeah, me too...
Lack of sleep can add to it. Talk to a Dr about a sleep aid that will help.
@amygalvin1799 My doctor knows about my sleep issues, but medicine rarely works. Trazadone doesn't work anymore, and I have bad reactions to sleep meds. Trazadone is the only one that my doctor will give me. Melatonin doesn't help either. I've tried everything, and I'm still unable to fall asleep, or if I do fall asleep, I can't stay asleep. It's torture. I've been battling sleep for so long.
I'm on antidepressants and antipsychotics. I have recently taken up meditation which calms my mind and helps me to sleep at night 🌙
I went to do this through about twenty years. What I found was that counseling was really helpful. Definitely knowing jesus and having interhealing and deliverance
I've never been able to work 40 hours a week.Maybe thirty.
I'm a u s citizen, and I live overseas teaching English
I'm a self supported Christian missionary.
I really want to encourage you. Those of you who have struggled like I have, please.
Give jesus a chance.
It really does get better. He does provide what you need to find healing and rest.
I've never been a drain on society, family, or friends.
He really does heal and set people free.
I don't ask myself to do anything I ask Jesus❤
Please find jesus.
The voice is not a good thing that's satan.
Don't give up run to jesus
I've battled depression all my life. I lean on God for everything . I take medicine for my depression, and it helps. I've changed my lifestyle. I'm a Christian; yes, Christians get depressed too. I see nothing wrong with taking medicine; God gave us doctors for a reason. But what I do is pray, listen to Christian music, and listen to the Bible on audio. When I wasn't living for our Lord and Savior, I had chronic depression. These days I'm doing awesome. I'm happy; I'm at peace.I pray God gives you peace that surpasses all understanding.
❤❤❤
Christians get depressed too. Even Jesus weeped.
can you give some tips?
Thank you for your vulnerability. You are not alone ❤
Thank you for being here with me. I wish no one ever had to feel this ever. But I do appreciate knowing I'm not alone. Thank you.
I am 68 and don't think I have ever heard or read a better, more heartfelt description. This was exactly perfect.
Thank you, THANK YOU. I am going through a divorce and I have been severely depressed for the past 6 months (I also have ADHD) for some reason, I was unable to cry and was starting to feel heavy and suffocated. I cried my heart out with you..your words at 24:04 broke me. It felt like a hug. I cannot thank you enough. I feel a lot lighter right now. Please stay..we need you. You are a blessing..THIS is your purpose. You helped and provided relief to a 31 year-old woman in India (literally on the opposite side of the planet) You don't even realise it. Everyone..all of us is NEEDED. Although it seems impossible, keep dreaming about that little house and couch cos it costs nothing. You are doing enough even if the rest of the world doesn't agree. Thank you for being here. I wish I had a sister like you around me.
Hi, sweetheart. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I wish I could give you a hug. Please keep staying, and please keep me posted. ❤️
Fellow spiral brain here. I really needed to hear this today, I haven’t been able to get out of bed all day and I’ve been so hard on myself for it. I’m sorry you’ve been struggling, and I’m so glad that you’re still here with us after a hard week ❤
Something that I wanted to add as someone with multiple neurological and psychological issues is that the side effects of all these medications they put us on can make life SO MUCH HARDER. I’m currently taking a relatively new medication that makes it near impossible to remember or concentrate and the fatigue is unreal. Regular people don’t have to deal with that, so from an outside perspective it looks like I’m suddenly slacking off at work, but my brain literally just doesn’t work because of this new migraine prevention medication. You just never know what someone else is going through. Always lead with compassion first. Thank you so much for sharing, Birdie 💕 Your channel always warms my heart and this video made me feel seen
I totally should have talked about that in the video! You're so right that the medication we take to "help," often makes things so much harder. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I hope maybe after your body gets used to it it becomes easier. I can't even imagine how hard it is to live with migraines. I hope today is easier.
'Spiral brain'.... love it. Haven't heard that one before, it sure as hell fits us.
@waywardabode You covered so much in your video and it was so raw and real. It’s totally okay that you didn’t include every experience under the sun ☺️ I’m hopeful too, not all days are good days, but I’m so blessed to have access to a good care team that I can take these concerns to. I wish you all the best Birdie, I truly hope things get better for you 💕
You are extremely intelligent and sharing your struggles I am sure will help so many. Hold on to the God who sent his only Son to die in your place setting you FREE. 2 Timothy 1: 7 💕💕🙏🏻🙏🏻💕💕
You are enough Birdie❤️🫂🕊️
So…you articulate how depression feels. If I needed to explain what it’s like to someone, I’d have them listen to your words. People can’t imagine something they haven’t experienced.
I’ve lived long enough (in my 7th decade) to know that my depression episodes are cyclical and, hopefully, sooner rather than later, I’ll cycle back to a better place for a while.
As a Christian, I have hope, because of the cross and resurrection, that things will be put right one day.
Love from the Deep South from a fellow broken crayon. Thank you for your videos.
My 18 yr old daughter is currently experiencing this. She decided to finally decided to open up to me. It absolutely crushed me because I myself suffered depression and anxiety. I was at my worst between the ages 15 to 24. By the time I reached 20 I couldn't even get out of bed most days. I unsuccessfully unalived 3 times during those yrs and was hospitalised several time. It took me years to find the right path for myself.
IT'S SOOO HARD....😢
All I did was let my daughter talk, cry, scream, and let it all out.
I didn't say a word. I just held her.
I thanked her for letting me in her world and said NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU'RE LOVED, AND NO MATTER HOW BAD IT GETS "STAY WITH ME."
She has taken the 1st step together with me to see a Dr.
I told her that she is in the beginning of a long hard road, and even though she may feel the pain, she will never be alone because I understand ❤
To anyone going through this, I'm proud of you and we need you all to STAY. ❤
I know now how my poor parents felt during my decent. But they were my reason for fighting even though I hated them sometimes for it.
I can only hope my understanding is enough for my baby girl also. ❤
You are proud that ppl are going through this. Okay. They are going through hell.
@Eric-ej3oy Hi Eric, sorry I upset you. I didn't mean it like that.
I meant I'm proud of peoples strength and resilience to fight this each and every day.
I don't agree that it's hell, though. For me, hell would've been a walk in the park compared to what I battle each day.
You sound like a wonderfully supportive mother, and your daughter is very fortunate to have you. With that said, have you considered the reality of the world your daughter is living in as the cause of her suffering, rather than a supposed “chemical imbalance”? That it’s the world that is broken and not her? It can be incredibly difficult as someone who sees themselves as weak, broken, incapable, etc., to acknowledge how very broken the world is. To acknowledge that the people who want to prescribe them drugs and diagnose them are far more broken than they, themselves, are. Because when you acknowledge the world is broken, then there is nobody to save you. When the people who are supposedly there to help you are even more broken, objectively, than you are, then who will take your problems away? But once we are able to acknowledge and accept how broken the world is, so much suffering goes away, and we no longer feel like we need to be saved. Because in reality, all suffering is is resistance to what is. I would imagine that having children played a big role in you getting better? Well, sadly, it’s becoming less and less likely that younger people are going to be able to have children(for financial reasons and for social reasons), and even then, it’s never optimal to heal ourselves through having kids. It doesn’t work anyway. If our pain diminishes, it only comes back with a vengeance once our children begin to experience pain. Your daughter may not be ready to see the world more as it is, but if you are ready, your healing will pass through you and onto her. If a mother can accept a broken world, she can accept her children no matter what, and that is what all human beings need more than anything; to be accepted, unconditionally, by a woman.
@katieandnick4113 I couldn't agree more. My daughter, unfortunately, has seen the world for what it can be in her young life. From the moment of her birth, she has witnessed her a parent fighting cancer not once but twice and suffered/witnessed the terrible loss of all her grandparents, of whom she was inseparable. She helped us all care for their every need through their unbearable suffering as they all passed well before their time. Cancer sucks! That's all I can say.
She also learned what true unconditional love is. The love and wisdom shared between them something you can not put a price on.
On the flip side, though, she lives in fear to love another because she knows loss all too well.
She needs time and patience to heal. But young ones have no patience, lol. I know I didn't.
Not everyone requires medication, I agree. Just love, acceptance, and patience. Is enough for some.
Only time will tell.
Praying with and for you and all of us.
You are working you're making these videos I know it's a struggle but every time you make a video that's you working
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate these words. Thank you.
Dear Birdie,
I want you to know that I woke up today feeling completely hopeless. Instead of getting up I just reached for my phone and started scrolling on instagram, watching everyone showing off their completed puzzles while I cant even look at the pieces of mine anymore. I wake up everyday with the fear that is just too late now. That there is no point in even trying when there are no guarantees in life.
And then I remembered you. I deliberately searched this video bc I remembered seeing it on my feed but didn’t click on it then bc I was scared. Scared of how much I would identify with your words AGAIN.
But instead, your words made me wanna get up like never before. Idk, maybe its something about knowing that there are people out there who get it and who are trying and are so strong for that. You are so strong and you dont even know it. We can never see the strength in ourselves, just in others. But listening to you made me wanna get up and pick up another piece of the puzzle in the hope that maybe I can one day help someone else get up too, like you just did for me without even knowing.
You know, maybe the secret is just accepting that the end result of your puzzle is not meant to look like everybody else’s. Maybe the answer comes up when we stop looking to the side, seeing other’s finished puzzles and trying to guide our own by the picture they formed. That will only leave us with a puzzle that makes no sense and the pieces were all forced to fit together and we cant even stand to look at it bc it’s clearly a mess.
Maybe people like you and me (and I am guessing most of your audience) are in this world to help those who cannot put into words what you just put. Maybe we feel so much and so intensely bc, that’s exactly our purpose on this Earth: to feel things and then help others on their journey.
I know what is like to wish you were just like everybody else. To ask myself daily WHY I have to live with this illness while so many people never had to. But after finding you it kinda made sense a bit, you know. Bc I wish you could understand how your decision to just start vlogging and be as authentic as you can be about your struggles has already made a huge difference in so many people’s lives. And I am betting you would never have done that if you were just like everybody else, working happily on 9 to 5. Something brought you here and these hard days you are going through… well, on the other side of them it is usually where the gold is at. It might be where your puzzle starts to make sense. So dont put down the pieces yet. Bc in your own way you are helping others pick up their pieces too❤
Laura
This a very powerful comment! Thank you!
@@Stay_tooned thank you
So well said Laura
Birdie, I’m so sorry you have to live with this. It reinforces my perception that you are an amazingly strong person. Thanks for doing an awesome job of peeling back the curtain, of spreading knowledge and understanding. Please stay. Please please stay. The world would be a little less bright without you in it. Love you Birdie! I’m so glad I found your channel. You have touched my life and made it richer. ❤
Sleeping 20 hours a day ain't fun. I'm not lazy, it's not even the meds but a Severe case of Chronic Depression. It's Fxxxxxn hard. Lost my two best mates to it 18 months apart. Nearly went for a run at it myself but I promised my kids I wouldn't and I'm a Man of my word. Just makes it harder yet again. Meditation, some legitimate medication and I Hope nobody has to go through it.
Thanks for sharing and being so Beave Beautiful 🙏🏻💙🇦🇺
Thank you so much for sharing a truth that I wish my family could understand.
I wish we could all be together and feel the joy of understanding each other. Most therapists don't even get us, let alone family and friends. It's comforting as hell to know other's haven't put their puzzle together either.
🫂🤍☮
Exactly!!! I "tried" therapy for a few months but...she was a nice person and all but once said : " OK, now let's talk about more pragmatic stuff!", when I was speaking about something that kills me slowly ( children and anu«imal suffering), I understood it wasn't for me
As a 40 year old man whos been suicidal and has spent time in a mental health unit. Im keeping you in my prayers. It wasnt until last year when i decided to focus my energy on my spiritual health. I truly believe a lot of mental health is spiritual in nature. Youre spirit is still in your vessel for a reason. You still have a purpose on this earth. I pray you will become aware of that soon. God bless you.
You are so VERY brave to explain this horrific disease. I think having your channel has helped not only yourself but has had a positive impact on others as well. You are SO very loved. ❤❤❤
Thank you for being brave enough to share your information.