I love watching Boze vs my ex wife. I’m envious of your talent. Thanks again so much for covering our story. I’d love to see your commentary on “Parker vs the Man”. We still haven’t fully recovered from that nightmare, but things are better than they were then. My deepest thanks. 🤗
I hope you and your sons have a beautiful future and are able to heal from all this. I think you two handled this situation with such grace and maturity, well done 👏 it couldn't have been easy
Hope you and your sons are doing well! I remember watching the video of Parker and his mom talking when I was younger. I was so scared for him but he was so brave despite his anxiety! Hope he’s living the best life!
OMG the Parker Series! I still follow the dad to this day and this situation actually made the dad in a advocate for children. He does children's advocacy work with legal now!
@@leslie1127 this is Caleb Leverett! His other son was also temporarily institutionalized by the same mother, but both kids are okay and free from her now!
this is a fun little trick we call a double bind 😋 theramin trees has a really good video on it as well as amazing videos in general about recovering from and recognizing abuse
Classic manipulator tactic. No-win means you're always the problem no matter what you do so you should just let them call all the shots. It's easier than hearing them screech, after all. I don't watch a lot of these manipulator videos like some people. I just grew up with it from three seperate adults. Funny how they all seem equipped with the same bag of tricks 😊
Exactly, my parents had a nasty and volatile relationship, but my mom always referred to my dad as “Dad” when talking to me because she knows that’s who he is for me
"Come in and we can talk about this" also known as "let me get you behind closed doors without the only person on your side so it'll be easier for me to manipulate you."
Yeah, I used to be a teacher. Real life CPS is nothing like TV and movie CPS. Most states also allow parents to spank, slap, and punch their kids more so than people would like to pretend. What they described in front of the cop was probably legal there, or not illegal enough to warrant more work for their overloaded CPS. Broken bones and burns, in case you were wondering how much abuse counts legally as abuse.
Yes and he continuously spoke of abuse. She admitted it and no one did anything about it and he was forced to live with them even though he expressed fear.
Cops showed up at my house because my father tried to force his way into the house. My mother told them he would hit us and they completely dismissed it. Unfortunately a lot of people believe in or excuse corporal punishment.
Saying his dad “walked away from his ability to make decisions about his children” when he actually just walked away from her narcissistic ass and is very much trying to be in his children’s lives is NEXT LEVEL manipulation.
my mom used to say shit like that about my dad because he had a hard time trying to find living situations. it took her YEARS to realize how wrong it was, but dealing with it in the meantime didn’t feel great because i almost believed her
It’s called parental alienation and most divorced narc parents do it, including mine. My dad called my mom a “coke wh0re” to me when I was just a kid (after losing custody). Then he proceeded to buy me elaborate gifts but wouldn’t let me keep them unless I moved back in with him.
do you think theres a difference to her? she views her children as objects in her possession, that this man who used to be a possession but has now committed the Sin of Disagreeing with her may never have. she only sees parker as a piece in this power struggle between her and her exhusband when hes a wholeass person with his own wants and needs. and how fucking dehumanizing is that for parker. thats so deeply fucked
Can only imagine how much worse she is when she thinks she's not being filmed. That she could do all this to a 14 year old child on camera, showing a small example of how disgustingly low and manipulative she will be over her family for her own selfish desires.
A real man or father wouldn't be with a woman like this. The other "dad" is a CUCK. He listens to her and doesn't speak up. He obviously only cares about one thing with her and doesn't want to be lonely. Those types of guys are WEAK. Lonely men are some of the strongest men because they don't need a woman in their lives to be happy. I'd much rahter be alone than to deal with a woman like this. A hole to put my rod in is NOT worth it.
That’s the same thing I was saying!!!! That is insane to me n she kept saying that jus to try n bait him in to getting mad n trying to fight her new husband!!!! Mind u that she had four kids with this man but now the new husband is his FATHER!!!! GTF F**k her frfr
I hate when mothers do this. You chose to lay down with that man, and make kids with him! That's on you! You made him dad, you can't just take it back because you want. If this woman had such a great realtionship with her son, "the guy who chooses to see the son 48days of a year" COULD NOT TALK THE BOY TO MOVE OUT!!
My father was abusive and he'd act almost exactly like this when he was in public. Overtly polite and all smiles. Behind closed doors, though? Would beat me, yell and scream at me while forcing me to stand in front of him for HOURS till I finally caved in, and I owned nothing. He got me a dog just to blackmail me with it whenever I misbehaved. Openly joked about how I was his 'favorite minion' in front of his friends and worked me like a slave. When he cheated on my mother, he referred to his mistress as 'your new mother' too. I do remember when this video first came out when I was about 11. I remember screaming at the screen "DO NOT GO INSIDE THE HOUSE" when she kept pushing for him to go inside, 'cause I knew what was going to happen. That woman who dares call herself mother was going to bar the front door and not let him out. She was going to make that poor boy wish he was never born because he dared exert ANY authority over his own life. I am glad that Caleb's boys finally got away from her, because living with a parent like this is... hell on earth. I still have days, WEEKS, when I am waiting for a brutal screaming match or some other disaster that he caused just for attention, just to give himself a reason to abuse me. Mom got me away from him when I was 14 (on the DAY, because we left on my 14th birthday), and I am now 21. Still haven't recovered and likely never will. Not 100%. These people will never see their children as people.
She's the type of person who will mentally exhaust you to the point she gets what she wants. This woman is a textbook case of a self-centered narcissist.
When parker said "I don't think anyone needs complete control" at 23:44 you can see the mom loose her argument for a second. She *almost* heard herself there...
Reminds me of Riotlol on Kick who would purposefully ask minors their age multiple times til they changed their answer to then get them to inappropriately reveal themselves as he live streamed it
To this threatening "i'm sorry?", i only managed to respond with just repeating what i said, like, 6 months ago. I feel like an idiot for not standing up for myself all this time.
DO NOT go to a Youth Pastor, if you can avoid it. There is no privacy because they are not held to the same standards a therapist is. A therapist is bound by law to keep what you say private. A youth pastor will almost definitely tell the parents what the child is saying. If you cannot go to a therapist, check your state laws and talk to your doctor.
Sadly this is so true.... i had some serious issues as a preeteen and my folks didnt know what to do. It was late 80's early 90's and therapy/meds weren't discussed constantly like they are now. We ended up in the youth pastors AND then the pastors office but It didn't turn out good. Those guys were out of their depth and giving advice that was intensely detrimental. You can't just place things in "gods' hands" and walk away expecting things will be better.
Looking back I find humor in the fact that I was told that my depressed, scared 14 year old self should put it to God after my dad suddenly passed away. Also was great when I shared things my mother did that made me angry only to have her throw them back in my face later. There is no confidentiality there and biblically speaking children should obey their parents to the letter. Nobody is on your side in that office.
IDK of you caught it but he did say "I am above the age of 12 so I can" or something like it. It is because when you reach the age of 12 you have full legal control over your mental health. I remember because I was depressed and worried I would have to admit it to my mom (My mom is super chill, I was just embarised about being depressed) and I looked it up and found I could legally take mental health medication without the consent of my mother at that age. So yea, he is legally old enough to have control over a large amount of autonomy. When I heard him say "I am over 12" I knew it sounded familiar and this is why, he was looking up if he had legal ability to not see her on the grounds of mental health. Very smart, and brave, kid.
@@annlanzi359012?! Uhhh idk about that. Maybe in some states. In my state at age 14 kids can ASK THE COURT to change things but they cannot just decide on a whim.
He only has this right in a court of law, not in a car right before its time for him to return home to his mother. I think it's despicable of this officer not to enforce a COURT ORDER. This is why family court exists. This father should've handled this in court. Why didn't he? Because he's a criminal and ex convict. Not to mention he posts his families business online for clout which looks bad to a judge. He lost in court btw...which tells you something..
@@britbrat4559Yet he now works for a legal firm and is advocating to give kids more rights to decide who they want to live with. Clearly mom was not the parent she claimed to be if the boy wants to stay with his dad. Him having a previous criminal record should not be an excuse to deny a father his son. Not unless he's being actively abusive or went back to committing actual crimes like theft or drug use.
THIS RIGHT HERE → 34:48 - “There is nothing more irritating than somebody treating you badly then acting oblivious and forcing you to explain their bad behavior”
yesss damn... and then they guilt you for "not caring" or "not loving" them enough, and blame you for not wanting to solve the situation (they created) 🙃 makes me want to bash my face against a wall
I have to disagree because what’s wrong with explaining it? Honestly, this sounds like TH-cam when you get a random punishment for seemingly no reason. Even if We know that they know what’s the harm in explaining it. It’s a case by case business
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 See, sometimes its fair, like if they genuinely didn't know any better and wanted to improve. But with a situation like this, they'll just dismiss, diminish or divert from the victim's feelings. They'll make excuses, they'll downplay the impact, they'll even straight up tell you you're lying because they refuse to be wrong or at fault ever. Ah, iirc, that is " Prolly oversimplifying
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 hi, so they meant when someone treats you badly but then plays the victim to make it seem as if they didn't know what they were doing was wrong.
I’m a 47 year old white guy. I like heavy metal, paleontology, natural history and baseball. I have no idea how I ended up here today but I’ve been binge watching your videos for 10 hours. Subscribed
These comments always confuse me. I'm not a white guy, but I subscribe to a lot of white guys -- but I don't leave comments about how I'm not their demographic. I see comments from white men everywhere on youtube about how they're white men (plus a few other facts included, oftentimes they'll include that they're straight or cis, but it's universally white men) yet consume the content of some POC lady creator whose channel they're commenting about. This comment (mine) sounds weirdly aggressive but I don't mean it like that, I'm genuinely wondering why so many ppl say this. Is it bc you feel like maybe you wouldn't be welcome?
@@SpecialBlanket her content is just a little outside what I normally consume on TH-cam and in general. If anything it’s meant as a compliment. That her personality and her style of video is so appealing that it’s reached a demographic that might be outside her normal audience. Because of how good it is.
@@SpecialBlanketI have done the same thing as the other person where you get something out of your norm it’s wow, this was the channel I did not know I needed! In fact, it happened last week the first time Boze showed up in my feed. subscribed upon first view and said (not verbatim) not my usual content, super impressed. Subscribed. It was calling out mother figure narc’s and why disconnected from child. It feels great when you hear a similar story and it’s made known so hopefully someone sees this and realizes it’s really NOT them. So I guess I was fangirling bc if it prevents someone from going through something I did for 40 years they have my vote. 😂
@@WhiteNucklin fwiw your comment wasn't aggressive. You sound like a cool dude! You were just letting her know she hit the algorithm, which I'm sure creators appreciate.
i understood where you are /were coming from completely.. i normally watch other subjects too... farming, livestock, gardening, off grid... but her channel came up on my feed too. this lady has an awesome mindset. i like her. 👍🌻🕊️ it's all good.. you meant well. i see nothing wrong with your comment.. ✌️💜👩🌾🦆🐔🐖🐐🐑🥾
I could feel his panic when he got emotional. As a kid with my parents, if you got emotional during a fight it was over and you'd lost. Even now as an adult I panic when I feel myself get emotional in any argument, because I know that means my side is now invalid. Hearing his emotion gave me that visceral memory and I'm so glad he's okay now.
Same. It’s always been fascinating to be being yelled at (after I got emotional first) while being yelled at “I’m not yelling!” Like… mmhmmm. Or the worse one, where when if you get emotional, they just sit back with a snide smile on their face like “oh look, you’re just pitching a fit, you think you’re SOOO mature don’t you? Just cry and feel sorry for yourself.” I’m glad you’re away from the toxic family that did this, and I’m glad he is too.
I finally severed ties so I don’t ever have to experience that ever again. I am so sorry for how they treat you and you surely deserved and do deserve better. Maybe you might consider severing ties. It’s so unnatural for sure and it is very painful and the decision took me two years with the help and encouragement of my therapist. My only regret is I wish I had done it sooner.
You've articulated so very well what I've been trying to unpack since about a weekish now. Suddenly being confronted with deep trauma is so.. debilitating. I'm having such a weird experience because this is my first time watching this kind of content and... I don't know how I feel... I'm deeply triggered, but that is also validating in a way? Cathartic. I want to watch more but I don't know if it will end up having a good or bad effect... This video has me all out of whack
Every time I see this video the way that stepdad just hangs around in the background like a nightclub bouncer really puts me on edge. I am afraid for Parker. That triggers me as much as she does.
@@goodcitizen-ft9bgthat stepdad is a lousy man. He acted tough in front of a young teenager but he is obviously submissive to his batshit crazy wife. He’s a spineless enabler and accessory to abuse
Are we ignoring that she keeps referring to the step-dad as the kid's dad?? And the actual father is called "Caleb." That's parental alienation. Usually that isn't done outside the house.
She probably considers everything she sees as her house. My own mother took over the park across the street because she didn't want to listen to children playing in the playground across the street from her house while she read on the porch.
The second I called my stepdad “dad” for the first time (when I was eight and playing house) my mom never let me call my dad dad. I had to call him pat. And I would get in trouble if I called my stepdad by his name instead. She also took advantage of not having to give him visitation and barely let me see my dad unless we happened to be in town and I had an hour and he could come last minute. I didn’t get to really bond with my dad until I was 18 and could make the decisions myself. Luckily I moved closer to him and now ten years later we’re super close and talk every day
She’s crying because she’s finally losing. She’s on the receiving end of her own tactics now that he’s standing his ground, nothing is working and she’s so frustrated that all she could possibly do is cry. And it’s extra proof she’s usually the one in control but the second she’s on the losing end she loses it.
They aren't using "her tactics", that's what makes it so much worse for her. "This has never happened!" She says because she's been able to maintain her gaslighting and manipulation of reality, until the kid stands up for the reality he knows.
Absolutely disgusting how in the full video, when the cop had tentatively given her permission to remove him from the car, her whole face lit up in glee because she was getting her way and the snake came back out of its burrow. Then when the cop saw things about to get hostile, changed his mind and told her to back off she went right back to the waterworks. I hope she's out of that poor kid's life now that he's an adult.
It made me super angry and sad to find out in the video about him turning 17 that the dad went to jail over this, and that Parker still had to live with her. A video from 5 years after this he said he had just finally gotten 50/50 custody for all the kids. The look on his face is priceless - like the shock and awe of receiving the most amazing gift in the world - and that that's his kids is beautiful.
@@Analyn100it killed me to see Parker fight the cops when he had to go back. I know it was years ago but you could hear the rage and confusion of why the system would let him down like this in his voice. I genuinely hope that cop and the courts feel awful for the abuse they made these kids endure. It is absolutely sick.
"...you're just old enough to..." In most states, he's old enough to be able to choose (or at least have a say in) which parent he wants to reside with.
Girl thank you for all you do. I'm 2 years out of a narcissistic/abusive 20 year marriage. I try to watch videos on narcissists and get too triggered, but the way you're breaking down her behaviors really shines a light on my personal situation in a way that's easy to listen and relate to. All my thanks
36:55 The blank smile- the ultimate threat is being made. Physical harm comes from emotional abuse, this poor kids stomach is in knots every single one of us can feel.
And don't miss "Daddy" standing menacingly in the back. You can tell that he is used to being the bully and using his size to intimidate Parker in support of the mother. He seems almost lost without being able to have that role. He is most comfortable when he istepping up and looming.
The ending of this video is literally the best. Parker’s little jog into the house to grab his stuff, her indignant mom walk, the window being rolled up as soon as she starts yelling “-kidnapping!”, Parker’s chuckle when he’s like “*thank* you officers, topped of with Boze’s cheering a commentary. Literally so wholesome after an hour of manipulation and fear ❤🎉
The crazy part is he stepped up to his mom and left with the dad in this video but then he had to go back to his mom and live with her until he was like 17.
@@vuoreaso somebody commented that in one of Caleb’s videos after this he talks about Parker having to go back and live with his mom. Ion have the time to sift through his channel but if someone can find the name of the video and what happens in it, that would be appreciated.
Girrrrrl after your first reaction to this I was hooked! Turns out Caleb Leverrett has a whole channel with a series on ALL of the kids who were abused by this woman!! It goes deep!!
@@tiredofit1968 Oh ya it's a whole rabbit hole! All except the daughter who's also the youngest but he has videos explaining all of that. Just look up Caleb Leverrett super easy to find he's still active today even though his kids are all grown he does parental rights type content now for those going through the same bs now that he went through for 15+ years with that woman
The way the step-dad just hovers like some wack bodyguard always rubs me the wrong way. And the way that the mom diminishes the father's love "He loves you.... as best he can" and just keeps putting him down in front of Parker, like he is somehow the lesser parent "I shouldnt even be talking about it over you..... but its just hard not to" then she proceeda to continue to do so to manipulate Parker against the dad some more. The mom continually shows that she's not listening to Parker's concerns at all. He said "I don't feel safe" and she dismisses all of it. Every word out of her mouth drips with condescension and it makes my skin crawl.
"You're a quiet, calm kid but we may need to go to anger management classes." I'm no expert, but a lot of time the "quiet and calm" kids are that way because their parent(s) impose draconian (and often ever-shifting and inconsistent) standards on their behavior. So the kid goes "Screw it, I'm just not gonna say much or do much of anything because who knows what's gonna set them off this time?" They keep their emotions and actions bottled up under pressure but eventually that pressure cracks, the kid acts out in a high-intensity way, and the parent goes "Holy shit the kid's crazy, he's normally so calm and quiet."
The first time you uploaded this, you said a few things that I took to heart, but the words *"you do not get to hurt me and tell me you love me, do not let the words come out of your mouth"* hit me really hard, in a good way. Since then, my husband and I have cut out all of our abusive family, and been in therapy. It wasn't totally because of that video, but it was so validating hearing you say that because that's _exactly_ how we felt being scapegoated and gaslit all the damn time.
Facts. Omg i cant tell u how many people told me to respect my dad when they only ever heard his side and didnt believe me cuz he always painted me as a ditzy retarded (thats what hed call me) disrespectful (this a lot too) child who doesnt knw any better and is to friendly chatty thing to anyone.
"I love you too much, we're too close" Translation from someone who escaped a mom like this and heard the same ish: "You belong to me, you are my property to do with as I wish until you are 18 and beyond that if I can ramp up the guilt/manipulation". I know I'm late to the game on this but thank you algorithm. So glad these types of parents are being outed publicly now, just so glad.
A year ago, this video helped me realize my dad was being abusive (he acts almost exactly like the mom in the video) and I finally got out because of it. :]
My mom is a master manipulator and I had to cut her off two years ago. She keeps trying new ways to get back into my world and it’s so frustrating. My birthday was last week and she purchased tickets for a show out of the blue in order to get me to accept a gift from her- therefore requiring interaction. When I didn’t accept them she blew up on me. What a great birthday.
“It is not my responsibility to tell you when you are acting poorly - that is your responsibility. “ All the applause for that line. A child should never be forced to be the adult in a situation with their parent.
One thing i HATE about Parker's Mom is that she demonizes his anger and sadness, its like he is NOT allowed to feel sad about how she treats him, and especially not angry about how she makes him feel. Something I've been learning is that people who want to harm you repeatedly make your anger out to be abusive or toxic, like youre a monster for being angry over the things they do to you, so you learn to stifle your anger and take their trash but all that does is predispose you to illness. Something I've told myself is I am allowing myself to be angry when people hurt me, I am standing up for my boundaries because all these narcissistic assholes will do is TRAMPLE you every day of the week.
THIS. i lived my narcissistic aunt as an adolescent. she did that exact thing. im 41 now and i still hide my anger, which i actually have a lot of. its not healthy but i do not know how to express it or let it out in a healthy way .
I've been struggling to accept that anger is all in my ego, and that's OKAY. And that's why narcissists use it against people. Because they want the biggest ego, no one else can have any. Anger is our brains way of saying "I don't deserve to be treated like this" and narcissists just love tearing down our self worth. And since they exist fully in the ego, they can't see that anger can be cooled down with love and acceptance. That we can change and be better for eachother. They don't want to change, they want everyone else to cater to their inflated egos. They don't realize that we have the ability to balance ourselves and be whole, because they don't want that ability. We have to work to rebuild the parts of our egos and identity they tore down, meanwhile, they never work towards their hearts or souls. I would say, expressing anger in a healthy way, is about exploring it. Finding out why you feel it, what hurt you, and what can be done to change it. Emotions are human. Manipulation is the monster... Not us.
I hate the way she implied that Caleb left because raising his kid was “inconvenient” among other things. Such an obvious attempt to antagonize him and sow doubt in Parker’s mind. He didn’t leave because he didn’t care for his kids, he left because her household is hell on earth, and I’m sure it was incredibly difficult and heartbreaking to leave them with her.
I can’t understand how any judge could watch this and think she’s a good mother. I also notice that “no means no” doesn’t stop this “mother” from doing what she wants.
The follow up video after this when the court forces him to go back with his mom is so worth a boze video too. Parker really tried so hard but sadly was forced to stay withhis mother til his 18th bday
Someone who's been through this and watching her go through her laundry list of toxic arsenal to try and manipulate her son is disgusting and disturbing
God after having one of these conversations with my mother it's sickening how both my own mother and this other mother have said the exact same words. It's creepy how abusers come in all shapes and disguises but they all have similar cores
OMG THE TEEN ANGST THING 😭😭 I remember my mom saying “lol going through puberty and ur hormones” any time I was upset about anything. It was so frustrating! I started thinking my emotions were worthless and didn’t mean anything, so I just bottled it. Hearing Boze talk about it after the mom discredited him by saying “he’s just 14” yeeted me back to my teens
If you feel something does it mean less because it’s new to you? Ugh. The logic drop is so bad with that dismissal. I’m sorry she did that to you. My parents did it, too.
@@lv67890I actually tried your exact (and correct) argument, when I was a teen, and was told that I ‘could have it worse.’ Which in the context of how my life turned out thanks to medical issues… that aged like milk.
@@crisptomato9495 OH MY GOD YES. I was trying to get ahold of a friend of mine who was having issues-got kicked out of his house because he didn’t follow the same religion/became an atheist-and one of the NatGuard bros who was his friend called me clingy, desperate, and on my period. Because I texted twice in three hours asking if he’d heard from our mutual friend and did he [friend] need a lift to work. It was *infuriating* . Parents doin fit are more infuriating imo, but anyone doing it makes my eye twitch.
Reminds me as a teenager, every time i was having an anxiety attack, my mother, instead of asking me what i was so upset about, would invariably proceed to ask me if i was on my period.
I got so triggered by the fact that the mom GRABBED HIM by the ARM like she OWNED HIM. That hit **extremely** close to home for me because my own mom used to do that to me and make fun of ME for feeling SCARED. What person who isn't toxic does that? I feel so proud of Parker because he actually stood his ground and stayed strong, instead of breaking down and submitting to his toxic mom. I also love your videos on stuff like this because they feel like I'm not alone.
At the beginning when she kept saying "I'm sorry?" Pretending not to here him. She was trying to intimidate him and make him lose his confidence. She wanted him to say "Nevermind" and drop it. Also the only reason she gives a crap about Nonnies BBQ is because she doesn't want to look bad by showing up without him and having to come up with an excuse for why he's not there.
That woman right there is a complete clone of my mother. I'm 37 and I finally got myself away. But she still tries every single day to control me it's absolutely insane.
As someone whose mom was (and still is) emotionally manipulative and abusive, let me say: If you’ve been or currently are the victim of a toxic parent like this, I want you to know that you are more loved, more valued, more intelligent, more beautiful than you were made to feel. You deserve to heal. You deserve happiness. You deserve safety. You deserve love. ❤
Shes crying cause it will be a long time before he trusts his mom again. He will not visit. Hes only 4 years from adulthood, he should NOT be being spanked.
I had a step-mother who was EXACTLY like this, so this situation especially hit home for me. And not getting triggered by this? You're a WHOLE LOT stronger than me, Boze. I was furious the second she began to speak
That stupid ‘i’m just doing what’s best for you, sorry you’re too young and dumb to understand that sweeeteeee’ ugghh makes me blood boil with nostalgia
@@chewyspam1111 I am vibrating with rage the further I get through the vid lol, I hope your step mother is as miserable as my mum is these days due to destroying her own life and relationships over and over 🤝
A friend of mine's abusive ex husband died and when I was over there, I could see what she was struggling with. I said to her "it's perfectly normal to be relieved he is dead and it is equally perfectly normal that you feel guilty about it" The poor girl broke down but I saw that weight roll off, and I cried too.
I keep feeling bad for not talking to my mother, then i watch these videos and its incredibly validating, my mother used to be like this. There wasnt a single day we werent fighting. Im 21 now and have not seen my mum in 2 years and its an amazing feeling to finally get out of it. Thank you boze you were actually the reason i cut her off , this video in 2022 was how i realised that the way i was treated wasnt normal as i was told my entire life that it was normal because she was my mother.
28 and I don’t talk to my parents hardly ever, I feel guilty and come up with excuses like they tried their hardest or maybe it’s not a narcissist maybe it’s autism, but regardless…they don’t actively try now. Nothing has changed, and I struggle with OCD and go to therapy every week, I’m changing but they haven’t. Guilt is tough, they prob made you feel that way when you were little, I’m sorry.
@hollyk7052 ik how u feel the guilt is real but I feel like if people don't want to change they never will and all we can do is to strive to be better people than they were
I was in my 20s when I've mentioned at least twice on separate occassions that, "I hate my mother." And people would respond, "But she's your mother!!!" I was very confident in my feelings and I knew the judgement I would get from saying it outloud.
@@dyscea ikr people are like fine with parental figures treating their kids like shit but wouldn't allow it if it was a friend or partner doing the Same, just because they are your parents doesn't mean they have the right to treat me like that. I think my dad's finally getting this now
I can relate. It took me until i was 52 to go no contact, i was able to do a year. Then i let her back in. She hates me. So right now i am doing it 1 day at a time. It is so tough being a child of a narcissist. 😢 I wish you well❤
This was such an incredible analysis of manipulative and abusive behaviour and how it goes on to affect us later in life. You did such a good job of pointing out even the more subtle signs of abusive behaviour and why they are so manipulative. This video honestly hit me in the feels. Appreciate you
I was turning 15 when a similar situation happened to me, and I even commented on the first video about it. I’m older now, and would you believe it, it was never brought up again and nothing really changed. I commend this kid in having the mental fortitude not to go back and not to cave to the way she talked. I’m always so happy whenever I see someone having a parent on their side. I plan on finally getting out this summer! 🥳
I had a similar experience and I wish you the best of luck. It isn't easy and if you have siblings you may regret it from time to time, but you deserve to be free and happy. Don't ever throw that aside for someone else, I'm slowly learning that myself cause I'm definitely still healing.
Anytime I would express to my Mom how I was feeling I would always get hit with “give it to God” or how she gets all this divine wisdom that God speaks to her or “do you have your prayer language (speaking in tongues)”. And every time I’m like why did I say anything.
I experienced this as a child and I have issues with toxic shame and self doubt. I'm in therapy. I have a son named Parker too. I take parenting classes as well in order to never be like that to him. I ran away at 15 and lived with friends because dad was unavailable at the time.
You should watch the video of the court mandated hand over. I felt so sorry for him even after losing in court he was still digging his heels in about not going with mom and step dad.
I felt this entire video. I got “I wish I was 14 so I could be right about everything” and “every time I enter the house you try to start a fight” and also like half the shit she was saying. And the “you’re my heart outside of my body” and the little smile after she starts getting really manipulative triggered me so bad
the first time I ever saw this video I didn't understand why everyone was so upset, because the mom acted exactly like my mother, and I didn't know at the time she was abusive/a narcissist. watching it now, years later, I'm no-contact and starting to heal 💙
Your original commentary on this saved my life. I saw the original back when it was doing the rounds and even wondered why this woman reminded me so much of my own mother, but it wasn’t until you broke down exactly what was happening that I was able to see through the fog. Thank you so much.
Another thing I noticed, when the officer was asking Parker what was going on and stuff, as soon as he started to say what was wrong Candace started to talk and interject, probably trying to take the focus off of Parker so the cop doesn’t hear him as well and not listen to what he’s saying.
I just realized that her asking “i’m sorry?“ to make him repeat himself that he doesn’t want to get out of the car was to try to get him to lose his temper so she could react. Good on Parker for keeping his cool in that moment. Yooooooo she totally is disregarding his dad’s position as a parent. She called him by his first name and called the new husband “daddy” when she says “daddy is going to call the police” Wow…
Wow. I’m 53 and I have never understood these interactions quite like the way you lay it out. I’ve been binging your channel since I discovered it. Bravo. You are so wise.
I watched an update on this , the father was homeless living in a boat and ended up sending his boy back to live with his mother. Sad situation for the kid
Also, just have to add: if my child reacted like this when seeing me, I wouldn't be mad. I would be HEARTBROKEN. I would break down crying thinking what I did wrong as a mother. And I would put his mental well being above everything else, including myself. If he has to be taken away from me in order to be healthy, then so be it. The nerve on this woman!
I love watching Boze vs my ex wife. I’m envious of your talent. Thanks again so much for covering our story. I’d love to see your commentary on “Parker vs the Man”. We still haven’t fully recovered from that nightmare, but things are better than they were then. My deepest thanks. 🤗
NO WAYYYY ITS YOU!!!
I hope you and your sons have a beautiful future and are able to heal from all this. I think you two handled this situation with such grace and maturity, well done 👏 it couldn't have been easy
@@celestetrudel9799 thank you
youtube loves and supports you for helping your son advocate for himself so he can thrive 🫶🏼💕
Hope you and your sons are doing well! I remember watching the video of Parker and his mom talking when I was younger. I was so scared for him but he was so brave despite his anxiety! Hope he’s living the best life!
OMG the Parker Series! I still follow the dad to this day and this situation actually made the dad in a advocate for children. He does children's advocacy work with legal now!
What is the name of his channel?
@@leslie1127Caleb Leverett
@@leslie1127 this is Caleb Leverett! His other son was also temporarily institutionalized by the same mother, but both kids are okay and free from her now!
Omg I love this so much! Ty for sharing!✨
Is there actually a "Parker Series"?
Ooops just read the comment👆🏼! Thank you.
Look at her dual response.
If Dad SAYS anything, he is CAUSING the child to want to change residences. If he says NOTHING...he has "checked out".
No win!! Yupppp! Always an emotional abuser/manipulator’s tactic. Sick.
this is a fun little trick we call a double bind 😋 theramin trees has a really good video on it as well as amazing videos in general about recovering from and recognizing abuse
Classic manipulator tactic. No-win means you're always the problem no matter what you do so you should just let them call all the shots. It's easier than hearing them screech, after all.
I don't watch a lot of these manipulator videos like some people. I just grew up with it from three seperate adults. Funny how they all seem equipped with the same bag of tricks 😊
Your damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Woaah I didn’t even notice that
The fact that this lady keeps calling her husband "daddy" to parker and only referrs to his father as "caleb" is disgusting.
it’s already distancing from the son itself, not saying who the father is
Meanwhile, keep spouting the BS about family. The dad is the dad, not cuck husband number 2
This kept bugging me
Exactly, my parents had a nasty and volatile relationship, but my mom always referred to my dad as “Dad” when talking to me because she knows that’s who he is for me
i agree, she couldve atleast said "your father"
"Come in and we can talk about this" also known as "let me get you behind closed doors without the only person on your side so it'll be easier for me to manipulate you."
💯%
Exactly! She tried it 😡
"And beat your ass senseless for daring to try this"... atleast based on my narc mom's behavior
the poor child in her arms
Wow. I like this articulation. I'll remember it.
Saying she would hit her kid, in front of a cop, should have triggered a CPS follow up.
Yeah, I used to be a teacher. Real life CPS is nothing like TV and movie CPS. Most states also allow parents to spank, slap, and punch their kids more so than people would like to pretend. What they described in front of the cop was probably legal there, or not illegal enough to warrant more work for their overloaded CPS.
Broken bones and burns, in case you were wondering how much abuse counts legally as abuse.
Yes and he continuously spoke of abuse. She admitted it and no one did anything about it and he was forced to live with them even though he expressed fear.
Unfortunately corporal punishment is not illegal in most states.
@@SjofnBM1989 I live in the south. The number of adults bending over backwards to explain why they should be allowed to hit their kids is insane.
Cops showed up at my house because my father tried to force his way into the house. My mother told them he would hit us and they completely dismissed it. Unfortunately a lot of people believe in or excuse corporal punishment.
The “(calmer)” is taking me out 😂 we love you boze
We do❤❤❤
Can you blame her for the subtle self flagellation
(Healed) analysis vs active healing analysis 😂 I love them both equally
I don't think you can watch this without at least feeling super angry but I said the same thing. "Okay babes, yeah sure you're not triggered" 🤣❤️
Admittedly, I completely misunderstood when I read the title. I thought it was a calmer narcissistic mother 😅
Saying his dad “walked away from his ability to make decisions about his children” when he actually just walked away from her narcissistic ass and is very much trying to be in his children’s lives is NEXT LEVEL manipulation.
my mom used to say shit like that about my dad because he had a hard time trying to find living situations. it took her YEARS to realize how wrong it was, but dealing with it in the meantime didn’t feel great because i almost believed her
It’s called parental alienation and most divorced narc parents do it, including mine. My dad called my mom a “coke wh0re” to me when I was just a kid (after losing custody). Then he proceeded to buy me elaborate gifts but wouldn’t let me keep them unless I moved back in with him.
do you think theres a difference to her? she views her children as objects in her possession, that this man who used to be a possession but has now committed the Sin of Disagreeing with her may never have. she only sees parker as a piece in this power struggle between her and her exhusband when hes a wholeass person with his own wants and needs. and how fucking dehumanizing is that for parker. thats so deeply fucked
@@smalltiddypunkgf very true!
Can only imagine how much worse she is when she thinks she's not being filmed. That she could do all this to a 14 year old child on camera, showing a small example of how disgustingly low and manipulative she will be over her family for her own selfish desires.
“You are my heart walking around outside my body” =you are an extension of me and not a person
EXACTLY
Also "The responsibility for my behaviour is on you and not me"
Ding ding ding
👏 yes!
Narcissistic statement disguised as "love"
The fact that she keeps referring to the other guy as his dad while his dad is sitting next to him is triggering me to no end.
A real man or father wouldn't be with a woman like this. The other "dad" is a CUCK. He listens to her and doesn't speak up. He obviously only cares about one thing with her and doesn't want to be lonely. Those types of guys are WEAK. Lonely men are some of the strongest men because they don't need a woman in their lives to be happy. I'd much rahter be alone than to deal with a woman like this. A hole to put my rod in is NOT worth it.
This!!!
I wonder if she is still married to "daddy" 🤔
That’s the same thing I was saying!!!! That is insane to me n she kept saying that jus to try n bait him in to getting mad n trying to fight her new husband!!!! Mind u that she had four kids with this man but now the new husband is his FATHER!!!! GTF F**k her frfr
I hate when mothers do this. You chose to lay down with that man, and make kids with him! That's on you! You made him dad, you can't just take it back because you want. If this woman had such a great realtionship with her son, "the guy who chooses to see the son 48days of a year" COULD NOT TALK THE BOY TO MOVE OUT!!
This story has lived rent free in my head for so many years
Same
Me 3
Same!
Literally
Same ! I saw it a couple years before we watched it with Boze and went down a rabbit hole after
My father was abusive and he'd act almost exactly like this when he was in public. Overtly polite and all smiles. Behind closed doors, though? Would beat me, yell and scream at me while forcing me to stand in front of him for HOURS till I finally caved in, and I owned nothing. He got me a dog just to blackmail me with it whenever I misbehaved. Openly joked about how I was his 'favorite minion' in front of his friends and worked me like a slave. When he cheated on my mother, he referred to his mistress as 'your new mother' too.
I do remember when this video first came out when I was about 11. I remember screaming at the screen "DO NOT GO INSIDE THE HOUSE" when she kept pushing for him to go inside, 'cause I knew what was going to happen. That woman who dares call herself mother was going to bar the front door and not let him out. She was going to make that poor boy wish he was never born because he dared exert ANY authority over his own life.
I am glad that Caleb's boys finally got away from her, because living with a parent like this is... hell on earth. I still have days, WEEKS, when I am waiting for a brutal screaming match or some other disaster that he caused just for attention, just to give himself a reason to abuse me. Mom got me away from him when I was 14 (on the DAY, because we left on my 14th birthday), and I am now 21. Still haven't recovered and likely never will. Not 100%.
These people will never see their children as people.
She's the type of person who will mentally exhaust you to the point she gets what she wants. This woman is a textbook case of a self-centered narcissist.
She is also almost always aware of the camera and tries to play up to it but she still slips she can't help it.
Wow I actually haven’t felt this way while watching her I’m interested on what you mean.
Evil, she is evil.
Not even covert narcissist like my mom, I was in the same situation as him however I didn't get to visit my dad on weekends or anything.
Absolutely! Or bully
When parker said "I don't think anyone needs complete control" at 23:44 you can see the mom loose her argument for a second. She *almost* heard herself there...
The fact that she's SMIRKING as he's crying and telling her not to touch him is sickening.
Its the "im sorry?" that really grinds my gears. Its so confrontational, its not that she misheard, she wants him to change his answer.
Exactly 💯. It's emotional manipulation because she doesn't mean it.
Reminds me of Riotlol on Kick who would purposefully ask minors their age multiple times til they changed their answer to then get them to inappropriately reveal themselves as he live streamed it
@@isaburntcake 😟EXCUSE ME?? please tell me he was arrested
To this threatening "i'm sorry?", i only managed to respond with just repeating what i said, like, 6 months ago. I feel like an idiot for not standing up for myself all this time.
@@limlimainoue1131 you're NOT an idiot ❤️ and next time someone does this to you just say "apology accepted" and walk away.
she hates her ex husband more than she loves her child. her hate for her ex is stronger than her love for her child and that’s heartbreaking
Exactly. It’s sad you can tell.
16:19
😶...are you high..or are you drunk?
😳
yep she didn't care what Parker was going through as long as he stayed with her and not with his dad
100%!!!!!!
I know a family court judge that tells this to ALL of the parents fighting for custody. And she’s right. 😢
Him getting so upset when she touches him, and her not understanding why he's upset, says everything.
DO NOT go to a Youth Pastor, if you can avoid it. There is no privacy because they are not held to the same standards a therapist is. A therapist is bound by law to keep what you say private. A youth pastor will almost definitely tell the parents what the child is saying.
If you cannot go to a therapist, check your state laws and talk to your doctor.
Can confirm, as someone who was punished for every word spoken in a youth pastors office.
Yup plus their goal is to indoctrinate, not support
How do you expect these narc mum's to keep total control? No legal binding of privacy? Sounds like a controlling parents dream tbh
Sadly this is so true.... i had some serious issues as a preeteen and my folks didnt know what to do. It was late 80's early 90's and therapy/meds weren't discussed constantly like they are now. We ended up in the youth pastors AND then the pastors office but It didn't turn out good. Those guys were out of their depth and giving advice that was intensely detrimental. You can't just place things in "gods' hands" and walk away expecting things will be better.
Looking back I find humor in the fact that I was told that my depressed, scared 14 year old self should put it to God after my dad suddenly passed away. Also was great when I shared things my mother did that made me angry only to have her throw them back in my face later. There is no confidentiality there and biblically speaking children should obey their parents to the letter. Nobody is on your side in that office.
Parker acted admirably. Especially when his mom tried to open the door. Even the cop yelled at her to “BACK UP!”
That stepdad is thinking, "How long until I can go back inside and watch the rest of the game."
A kid at his age can absolutely be equipped to make the decision to stay with one parent vs the other..
IDK of you caught it but he did say "I am above the age of 12 so I can" or something like it. It is because when you reach the age of 12 you have full legal control over your mental health. I remember because I was depressed and worried I would have to admit it to my mom (My mom is super chill, I was just embarised about being depressed) and I looked it up and found I could legally take mental health medication without the consent of my mother at that age. So yea, he is legally old enough to have control over a large amount of autonomy. When I heard him say "I am over 12" I knew it sounded familiar and this is why, he was looking up if he had legal ability to not see her on the grounds of mental health. Very smart, and brave, kid.
@@annlanzi359012?! Uhhh idk about that. Maybe in some states. In my state at age 14 kids can ASK THE COURT to change things but they cannot just decide on a whim.
He only has this right in a court of law, not in a car right before its time for him to return home to his mother. I think it's despicable of this officer not to enforce a COURT ORDER. This is why family court exists. This father should've handled this in court. Why didn't he? Because he's a criminal and ex convict. Not to mention he posts his families business online for clout which looks bad to a judge. He lost in court btw...which tells you something..
@britbrat4559 Good. I hate these videos of people saying someone who is a narcissist who has no clue of the whole story. I'm glad the dad lost.
@@britbrat4559Yet he now works for a legal firm and is advocating to give kids more rights to decide who they want to live with. Clearly mom was not the parent she claimed to be if the boy wants to stay with his dad. Him having a previous criminal record should not be an excuse to deny a father his son. Not unless he's being actively abusive or went back to committing actual crimes like theft or drug use.
THIS RIGHT HERE → 34:48 - “There is nothing more irritating than somebody treating you badly then acting oblivious and forcing you to explain their bad behavior”
yesss damn... and then they guilt you for "not caring" or "not loving" them enough, and blame you for not wanting to solve the situation (they created) 🙃 makes me want to bash my face against a wall
I have to disagree because what’s wrong with explaining it? Honestly, this sounds like TH-cam when you get a random punishment for seemingly no reason. Even if We know that they know what’s the harm in explaining it.
It’s a case by case business
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072sometimes people genuinely don’t understand what they did, but when it becomes a recurring thing something’s up
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072
See, sometimes its fair, like if they genuinely didn't know any better and wanted to improve.
But with a situation like this, they'll just dismiss, diminish or divert from the victim's feelings. They'll make excuses, they'll downplay the impact, they'll even straight up tell you you're lying because they refuse to be wrong or at fault ever.
Ah, iirc, that is " Prolly oversimplifying
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 hi, so they meant when someone treats you badly but then plays the victim to make it seem as if they didn't know what they were doing was wrong.
God, Parker was so calm and patient, gave her as little ammo as possible. So proud of the dude.
Perfect execution of the “grey rock” tactic to deal with narcissists
The cop is looking like "how do I tell her she's the problem"
That cop was really like "Ima be late for my break cuz of this wackadoodle lady 🙄."
It's the baby trying to get in the car like take me with yall please 🤣🤣
Funny!!
The baby looks like she’s so sick of her mom’s sh!t lmao
😂😂😂😂😂
I’m a 47 year old white guy. I like heavy metal, paleontology, natural history and baseball. I have no idea how I ended up here today but I’ve been binge watching your videos for 10 hours.
Subscribed
These comments always confuse me. I'm not a white guy, but I subscribe to a lot of white guys -- but I don't leave comments about how I'm not their demographic. I see comments from white men everywhere on youtube about how they're white men (plus a few other facts included, oftentimes they'll include that they're straight or cis, but it's universally white men) yet consume the content of some POC lady creator whose channel they're commenting about. This comment (mine) sounds weirdly aggressive but I don't mean it like that, I'm genuinely wondering why so many ppl say this. Is it bc you feel like maybe you wouldn't be welcome?
@@SpecialBlanket her content is just a little outside what I normally consume on TH-cam and in general. If anything it’s meant as a compliment. That her personality and her style of video is so appealing that it’s reached a demographic that might be outside her normal audience. Because of how good it is.
@@SpecialBlanketI have done the same thing as the other person where you get something out of your norm it’s wow, this was the channel I did not know I needed! In fact, it happened last week the first time Boze showed up in my feed. subscribed upon first view and said (not verbatim) not my usual content, super impressed. Subscribed. It was calling out mother figure narc’s and why disconnected from child. It feels great when you hear a similar story and it’s made known so hopefully someone sees this and realizes it’s really NOT them. So I guess I was fangirling bc if it prevents someone from going through something I did for 40 years they have my vote. 😂
@@WhiteNucklin fwiw your comment wasn't aggressive. You sound like a cool dude! You were just letting her know she hit the algorithm, which I'm sure creators appreciate.
i understood where you are /were coming from completely..
i normally watch other subjects too... farming, livestock, gardening, off grid... but her channel came up on my feed too.
this lady has an awesome mindset. i like her. 👍🌻🕊️
it's all good.. you meant well.
i see nothing wrong with your comment.. ✌️💜👩🌾🦆🐔🐖🐐🐑🥾
I could feel his panic when he got emotional. As a kid with my parents, if you got emotional during a fight it was over and you'd lost. Even now as an adult I panic when I feel myself get emotional in any argument, because I know that means my side is now invalid. Hearing his emotion gave me that visceral memory and I'm so glad he's okay now.
Same dude
Same. It’s always been fascinating to be being yelled at (after I got emotional first) while being yelled at “I’m not yelling!” Like… mmhmmm.
Or the worse one, where when if you get emotional, they just sit back with a snide smile on their face like “oh look, you’re just pitching a fit, you think you’re SOOO mature don’t you? Just cry and feel sorry for yourself.”
I’m glad you’re away from the toxic family that did this, and I’m glad he is too.
Uh oh….
I finally severed ties so I don’t ever have to experience that ever again. I am so sorry for how they treat you and you surely deserved and do deserve better. Maybe you might consider severing ties. It’s so unnatural for sure and it is very painful and the decision took me two years with the help and encouragement of my therapist. My only regret is I wish I had done it sooner.
You've articulated so very well what I've been trying to unpack since about a weekish now. Suddenly being confronted with deep trauma is so.. debilitating.
I'm having such a weird experience because this is my first time watching this kind of content and... I don't know how I feel...
I'm deeply triggered, but that is also validating in a way? Cathartic.
I want to watch more but I don't know if it will end up having a good or bad effect...
This video has me all out of whack
Every time I see this video the way that stepdad just hangs around in the background like a nightclub bouncer really puts me on edge. I am afraid for Parker. That triggers me as much as she does.
Looking like a thumb the whole fuckin’ time
@@campscrampslmfao a thumb! 🤣😂 too true
Absolutely! The way he stands there crossed arms to make his arms look bigger and more intimidating. He is a terrifying enabler.
He should have taking the baby inside and said hope to see you Parker, this is between you and your PARENTS IM GONNA F OFF
@@goodcitizen-ft9bgthat stepdad is a lousy man. He acted tough in front of a young teenager but he is obviously submissive to his batshit crazy wife. He’s a spineless enabler and accessory to abuse
The most devasting thing you can say to a narcissist:
"No"
Are we ignoring that she keeps referring to the step-dad as the kid's dad?? And the actual father is called "Caleb." That's parental alienation. Usually that isn't done outside the house.
Ya, I found that Extremely disturbing. "Daddy", I was like What???
Gah, makes my skin crawl and my stomach turn🤢
She probably considers everything she sees as her house. My own mother took over the park across the street because she didn't want to listen to children playing in the playground across the street from her house while she read on the porch.
The second I called my stepdad “dad” for the first time (when I was eight and playing house) my mom never let me call my dad dad. I had to call him pat. And I would get in trouble if I called my stepdad by his name instead. She also took advantage of not having to give him visitation and barely let me see my dad unless we happened to be in town and I had an hour and he could come last minute. I didn’t get to really bond with my dad until I was 18 and could make the decisions myself. Luckily I moved closer to him and now ten years later we’re super close and talk every day
@@glitzdancerhell yeah
She’s crying because she’s finally losing. She’s on the receiving end of her own tactics now that he’s standing his ground, nothing is working and she’s so frustrated that all she could possibly do is cry. And it’s extra proof she’s usually the one in control but the second she’s on the losing end she loses it.
They aren't using "her tactics", that's what makes it so much worse for her.
"This has never happened!" She says because she's been able to maintain her gaslighting and manipulation of reality, until the kid stands up for the reality he knows.
She only starts crying when she's talking to the cops tho, she does a complete 180 lmao
This is a phenomenon called an extinction burst.
Merely a manipulation
Absolutely disgusting how in the full video, when the cop had tentatively given her permission to remove him from the car, her whole face lit up in glee because she was getting her way and the snake came back out of its burrow. Then when the cop saw things about to get hostile, changed his mind and told her to back off she went right back to the waterworks.
I hope she's out of that poor kid's life now that he's an adult.
her mask starts to slip and then she remembers shes being recorded and does a sudden shift to "love you mode" to look good for the camera
Yup, the fact that she knows she's being recorded this whole time, makes it easy to imagine how much nastier she might be behind the scenes.
Oh my god it happens all the time! She’s so fake throughout most of this video! 🤮
Timestamps? My memory is pretty bad.
It made me super angry and sad to find out in the video about him turning 17 that the dad went to jail over this, and that Parker still had to live with her. A video from 5 years after this he said he had just finally gotten 50/50 custody for all the kids. The look on his face is priceless - like the shock and awe of receiving the most amazing gift in the world - and that that's his kids is beautiful.
Hopefully he wasn't in for long. Now I have to watch that one
@@Analyn100it killed me to see Parker fight the cops when he had to go back. I know it was years ago but you could hear the rage and confusion of why the system would let him down like this in his voice. I genuinely hope that cop and the courts feel awful for the abuse they made these kids endure. It is absolutely sick.
What video is this? I saw thathe ended up living with him as he got older
@@JessikaJay16 search caleb leverett parker 17th birthday and it should come up, TH-cam won't ket me post it in comments.
Her calling him daddy creeps me out
SO fuckin proud of that kid! Mans stood his ground, gave her damn near NOTHING to work with, and hammered in his boundaries LIKE. HE. SHOULD.
"...you're just old enough to..." In most states, he's old enough to be able to choose (or at least have a say in) which parent he wants to reside with.
Girl thank you for all you do.
I'm 2 years out of a narcissistic/abusive 20 year marriage. I try to watch videos on narcissists and get too triggered, but the way you're breaking down her behaviors really shines a light on my personal situation in a way that's easy to listen and relate to. All my thanks
Also notice how she calls her husband, “Dad, Daddy” but Parker’s actual dad Caleb
That drove me crazy. So disrespectful to Parker and his dad.
For real!! That's parental alienation 101!
"THIS isn't your dad, THAT'S your dad!"
That alone causes emotional distress in a child, especially when the actual father is in their life.
36:55 The blank smile- the ultimate threat is being made. Physical harm comes from emotional abuse, this poor kids stomach is in knots every single one of us can feel.
Damn.. you spoke my mind 🤔👍
And don't miss "Daddy" standing menacingly in the back. You can tell that he is used to being the bully and using his size to intimidate Parker in support of the mother. He seems almost lost without being able to have that role. He is most comfortable when he istepping up and looming.
💯
The ending of this video is literally the best. Parker’s little jog into the house to grab his stuff, her indignant mom walk, the window being rolled up as soon as she starts yelling “-kidnapping!”, Parker’s chuckle when he’s like “*thank* you officers, topped of with Boze’s cheering a commentary. Literally so wholesome after an hour of manipulation and fear ❤🎉
The crazy part is he stepped up to his mom and left with the dad in this video but then he had to go back to his mom and live with her until he was like 17.
Absolutely stupid, but now I hope he has cut contact with her like she deserves, save for maybe some contact for his younger siblings.
That's messed up
So awful 😖
@@vuoreaso somebody commented that in one of Caleb’s videos after this he talks about Parker having to go back and live with his mom. Ion have the time to sift through his channel but if someone can find the name of the video and what happens in it, that would be appreciated.
No he didn't though? Do you have a source?
Girrrrrl after your first reaction to this I was hooked! Turns out Caleb Leverrett has a whole channel with a series on ALL of the kids who were abused by this woman!! It goes deep!!
What???!!! They all felt that way? He's got a youtube channel?
@@tiredofit1968 Oh ya it's a whole rabbit hole! All except the daughter who's also the youngest but he has videos explaining all of that. Just look up Caleb Leverrett super easy to find he's still active today even though his kids are all grown he does parental rights type content now for those going through the same bs now that he went through for 15+ years with that woman
@@tiredofit1968Yes! I believe he's the pinned comment!
Oh wow! I know what I'm watching next lol 😅 thanks!!
same! this is the first video i watched by her
Giving 14-year-olds a measure of autonomy, and listening to their opinions is part of helping them grow up.
My question is... why does mom have to get him inside to talk to him? That's a blaring red flag!
Exactly! She know she will have more control over him, with no one on his side
So she can trap him there.
The way the step-dad just hovers like some wack bodyguard always rubs me the wrong way. And the way that the mom diminishes the father's love "He loves you.... as best he can" and just keeps putting him down in front of Parker, like he is somehow the lesser parent "I shouldnt even be talking about it over you..... but its just hard not to" then she proceeda to continue to do so to manipulate Parker against the dad some more. The mom continually shows that she's not listening to Parker's concerns at all. He said "I don't feel safe" and she dismisses all of it. Every word out of her mouth drips with condescension and it makes my skin crawl.
Yes but notice he doesn’t take the bait, he just supports his son, and takes record. Trash takes itself out
Me too!!! UGHHHH!!! 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮
"You're a quiet, calm kid but we may need to go to anger management classes." I'm no expert, but a lot of time the "quiet and calm" kids are that way because their parent(s) impose draconian (and often ever-shifting and inconsistent) standards on their behavior. So the kid goes "Screw it, I'm just not gonna say much or do much of anything because who knows what's gonna set them off this time?" They keep their emotions and actions bottled up under pressure but eventually that pressure cracks, the kid acts out in a high-intensity way, and the parent goes "Holy shit the kid's crazy, he's normally so calm and quiet."
"You've hit me before"
"And I'll hit you again"
MA'AM?? 😀🤨🤬
The first time you uploaded this, you said a few things that I took to heart, but the words *"you do not get to hurt me and tell me you love me, do not let the words come out of your mouth"* hit me really hard, in a good way.
Since then, my husband and I have cut out all of our abusive family, and been in therapy. It wasn't totally because of that video, but it was so validating hearing you say that because that's _exactly_ how we felt being scapegoated and gaslit all the damn time.
Damn. Same. 😢
Facts. Omg i cant tell u how many people told me to respect my dad when they only ever heard his side and didnt believe me cuz he always painted me as a ditzy retarded (thats what hed call me) disrespectful (this a lot too) child who doesnt knw any better and is to friendly chatty thing to anyone.
❤
"I love you too much, we're too close" Translation from someone who escaped a mom like this and heard the same ish: "You belong to me, you are my property to do with as I wish until you are 18 and beyond that if I can ramp up the guilt/manipulation". I know I'm late to the game on this but thank you algorithm. So glad these types of parents are being outed publicly now, just so glad.
A year ago, this video helped me realize my dad was being abusive (he acts almost exactly like the mom in the video) and I finally got out because of it. :]
YAY!! Glad you got away!!
@@tiredofit1968thank you!! ^^
It couldn't have been easy not only having that realization but also making the courage to break free. Well done in protecting yourself! ❤
My mom is a master manipulator and I had to cut her off two years ago. She keeps trying new ways to get back into my world and it’s so frustrating. My birthday was last week and she purchased tickets for a show out of the blue in order to get me to accept a gift from her- therefore requiring interaction. When I didn’t accept them she blew up on me. What a great birthday.
So happy to hear that you were able to get out! I had a similar revelation when watching this video for the first time.
Stay safe out there
I appreciate the triggered version 😂. I validated you through the whole thing. The anger was warranted.
“It is not my responsibility to tell you when you are acting poorly - that is your responsibility. “
All the applause for that line. A child should never be forced to be the adult in a situation with their parent.
One thing i HATE about Parker's Mom is that she demonizes his anger and sadness, its like he is NOT allowed to feel sad about how she treats him, and especially not angry about how she makes him feel.
Something I've been learning is that people who want to harm you repeatedly make your anger out to be abusive or toxic, like youre a monster for being angry over the things they do to you, so you learn to stifle your anger and take their trash but all that does is predispose you to illness. Something I've told myself is I am allowing myself to be angry when people hurt me, I am standing up for my boundaries because all these narcissistic assholes will do is TRAMPLE you every day of the week.
THIS. i lived my narcissistic aunt as an adolescent. she did that exact thing. im 41 now and i still hide my anger, which i actually have a lot of. its not healthy but i do not know how to express it or let it out in a healthy way .
I've been struggling to accept that anger is all in my ego, and that's OKAY. And that's why narcissists use it against people. Because they want the biggest ego, no one else can have any. Anger is our brains way of saying "I don't deserve to be treated like this" and narcissists just love tearing down our self worth. And since they exist fully in the ego, they can't see that anger can be cooled down with love and acceptance. That we can change and be better for eachother. They don't want to change, they want everyone else to cater to their inflated egos. They don't realize that we have the ability to balance ourselves and be whole, because they don't want that ability.
We have to work to rebuild the parts of our egos and identity they tore down, meanwhile, they never work towards their hearts or souls.
I would say, expressing anger in a healthy way, is about exploring it. Finding out why you feel it, what hurt you, and what can be done to change it. Emotions are human. Manipulation is the monster... Not us.
I hate the way she implied that Caleb left because raising his kid was “inconvenient” among other things. Such an obvious attempt to antagonize him and sow doubt in Parker’s mind. He didn’t leave because he didn’t care for his kids, he left because her household is hell on earth, and I’m sure it was incredibly difficult and heartbreaking to leave them with her.
I can’t understand how any judge could watch this and think she’s a good mother.
I also notice that “no means no” doesn’t stop this “mother” from doing what she wants.
The follow up video after this when the court forces him to go back with his mom is so worth a boze video too. Parker really tried so hard but sadly was forced to stay withhis mother til his 18th bday
Ew they did? 🤢
Yes! I hope she watches it.. it was heartbreaking
+1
Ew i hate that it ended that way
OMG WHYYYYYY?
Someone who's been through this and watching her go through her laundry list of toxic arsenal to try and manipulate her son is disgusting and disturbing
Its crazy watching it happen to someone else... these tactics have broken me down psychologically before. Its awful.
omg the way she is slowly creeping in thru the window to close that personal space gap is so, so gross.
Her fockin GLEEFUL smile when he starts crying...
God after having one of these conversations with my mother it's sickening how both my own mother and this other mother have said the exact same words.
It's creepy how abusers come in all shapes and disguises but they all have similar cores
She’s not crying because there’s anything actually happening. She’s crying because she doesn’t have control and that angers her.
OMG THE TEEN ANGST THING 😭😭 I remember my mom saying “lol going through puberty and ur hormones” any time I was upset about anything. It was so frustrating! I started thinking my emotions were worthless and didn’t mean anything, so I just bottled it. Hearing Boze talk about it after the mom discredited him by saying “he’s just 14” yeeted me back to my teens
If you feel something does it mean less because it’s new to you? Ugh. The logic drop is so bad with that dismissal. I’m sorry she did that to you. My parents did it, too.
@@lv67890I actually tried your exact (and correct) argument, when I was a teen, and was told that I ‘could have it worse.’ Which in the context of how my life turned out thanks to medical issues… that aged like milk.
Ffs yes. “Is YoUr PeRiOd CoMinG?” like Jesus H can I just be upset for five seconds?
@@crisptomato9495 OH MY GOD YES.
I was trying to get ahold of a friend of mine who was having issues-got kicked out of his house because he didn’t follow the same religion/became an atheist-and one of the NatGuard bros who was his friend called me clingy, desperate, and on my period.
Because I texted twice in three hours asking if he’d heard from our mutual friend and did he [friend] need a lift to work. It was *infuriating* .
Parents doin fit are more infuriating imo, but anyone doing it makes my eye twitch.
Reminds me as a teenager, every time i was having an anxiety attack, my mother, instead of asking me what i was so upset about, would invariably proceed to ask me if i was on my period.
I got so triggered by the fact that the mom GRABBED HIM by the ARM like she OWNED HIM. That hit **extremely** close to home for me because my own mom used to do that to me and make fun of ME for feeling SCARED. What person who isn't toxic does that? I feel so proud of Parker because he actually stood his ground and stayed strong, instead of breaking down and submitting to his toxic mom. I also love your videos on stuff like this because they feel like I'm not alone.
I'm just touching you!!
At the beginning when she kept saying "I'm sorry?" Pretending not to here him. She was trying to intimidate him and make him lose his confidence. She wanted him to say "Nevermind" and drop it.
Also the only reason she gives a crap about Nonnies BBQ is because she doesn't want to look bad by showing up without him and having to come up with an excuse for why he's not there.
That woman right there is a complete clone of my mother. I'm 37 and I finally got myself away. But she still tries every single day to control me it's absolutely insane.
I'm sorry you're dealing with that man, you dont deserve to be treated so horribly. Proud of you for getting away from that :)
I'm glad you got away. I am 33 and still living with my mother. This giv a me a sense of hope.
Trying to control a 37 y/o is so crazy, I'm glad you're out of that mess!
@@OnijijiAnd good luck to you! I hope you get out there and settled on your own :)
As someone whose mom was (and still is) emotionally manipulative and abusive, let me say: If you’ve been or currently are the victim of a toxic parent like this, I want you to know that you are more loved, more valued, more intelligent, more beautiful than you were made to feel. You deserve to heal. You deserve happiness. You deserve safety. You deserve love. ❤
Damn who's cutting onions in here ❤️
Shes crying cause it will be a long time before he trusts his mom again. He will not visit. Hes only 4 years from adulthood, he should NOT be being spanked.
Yeah spanking a teenager is sexual abuse imo.
Spanking a kid at any age is child abuse
Spanking ANY CHILD is physical and sexual abuse. It's absolutely abhorrent to ever use physical violence against a CHILD.@@SpecialBlanket
I had a step-mother who was EXACTLY like this, so this situation especially hit home for me. And not getting triggered by this? You're a WHOLE LOT stronger than me, Boze. I was furious the second she began to speak
That stupid ‘i’m just doing what’s best for you, sorry you’re too young and dumb to understand that sweeeteeee’ ugghh makes me blood boil with nostalgia
@@vee1545 Oh my god, same here!!
@@chewyspam1111 I am vibrating with rage the further I get through the vid lol, I hope your step mother is as miserable as my mum is these days due to destroying her own life and relationships over and over 🤝
My mom was like this in many ways. The day she died, I wasn't sad, I was *relieved.*
A friend of mine's abusive ex husband died and when I was over there, I could see what she was struggling with.
I said to her "it's perfectly normal to be relieved he is dead and it is equally perfectly normal that you feel guilty about it"
The poor girl broke down but I saw that weight roll off, and I cried too.
I understand!!! When my mother died I finally knew what peace was.
@@folkloreofbeing kudos to you for understanding and letting her express those complicated feelings.
That’s heartbreaking. I’m sorry.
Even with a psychotic mother this kids level of emotional maturity at such a young age is mind blowing.
YESS!! This was the first video from when i found boze a year ago!! 34:00 hits really close to home tho 😭
SAMEEE
You’re in for a ride 😂 her videos are so entertaining, I love her personality 🥰👏
Same
I keep feeling bad for not talking to my mother, then i watch these videos and its incredibly validating, my mother used to be like this. There wasnt a single day we werent fighting. Im 21 now and have not seen my mum in 2 years and its an amazing feeling to finally get out of it. Thank you boze you were actually the reason i cut her off , this video in 2022 was how i realised that the way i was treated wasnt normal as i was told my entire life that it was normal because she was my mother.
28 and I don’t talk to my parents hardly ever, I feel guilty and come up with excuses like they tried their hardest or maybe it’s not a narcissist maybe it’s autism, but regardless…they don’t actively try now. Nothing has changed, and I struggle with OCD and go to therapy every week, I’m changing but they haven’t. Guilt is tough, they prob made you feel that way when you were little, I’m sorry.
@hollyk7052 ik how u feel the guilt is real but I feel like if people don't want to change they never will and all we can do is to strive to be better people than they were
I was in my 20s when I've mentioned at least twice on separate occassions that, "I hate my mother." And people would respond, "But she's your mother!!!" I was very confident in my feelings and I knew the judgement I would get from saying it outloud.
@@dyscea ikr people are like fine with parental figures treating their kids like shit but wouldn't allow it if it was a friend or partner doing the Same, just because they are your parents doesn't mean they have the right to treat me like that. I think my dad's finally getting this now
I can relate. It took me until i was 52 to go no contact, i was able to do a year. Then i let her back in. She hates me. So right now i am doing it 1 day at a time.
It is so tough being a child of a narcissist. 😢
I wish you well❤
This was such an incredible analysis of manipulative and abusive behaviour and how it goes on to affect us later in life. You did such a good job of pointing out even the more subtle signs of abusive behaviour and why they are so manipulative. This video honestly hit me in the feels. Appreciate you
i like how Candance says she knows how to use her context clues but when it comes down to her child screaming she's like I don't what to do 😭😭
I was turning 15 when a similar situation happened to me, and I even commented on the first video about it. I’m older now, and would you believe it, it was never brought up again and nothing really changed. I commend this kid in having the mental fortitude not to go back and not to cave to the way she talked. I’m always so happy whenever I see someone having a parent on their side. I plan on finally getting out this summer! 🥳
I'm so happy for you getting out!! I hope it goes as smoothly as possible
I had a similar experience and I wish you the best of luck. It isn't easy and if you have siblings you may regret it from time to time, but you deserve to be free and happy. Don't ever throw that aside for someone else, I'm slowly learning that myself cause I'm definitely still healing.
I wish you nothing but the best of luck 🙏❤️ You got this!! I hope everything goes well for you and you get out of this horrible situation!
Be safe
Anytime I would express to my Mom how I was feeling I would always get hit with “give it to God” or how she gets all this divine wisdom that God speaks to her or “do you have your prayer language (speaking in tongues)”. And every time I’m like why did I say anything.
I experienced this as a child and I have issues with toxic shame and self doubt. I'm in therapy.
I have a son named Parker too. I take parenting classes as well in order to never be like that to him.
I ran away at 15 and lived with friends because dad was unavailable at the time.
Little Parker is very lucky to have you ❤
Me too I have ocd and epilepsy, you got this therapy rocks and you are STRONG. 💪
Thank you both 💕💕
She's worried about that child support she won't be getting and the person she can beat up on whenever she's stressed.
I find this crazy, coming back to this video again. Watching you react to it was the first I ever saw it and my first introduction to your channel.
You should watch the video of the court mandated hand over. I felt so sorry for him even after losing in court he was still digging his heels in about not going with mom and step dad.
It's so insane to me that she has not shown an ounce of emotion, until the cop gets there. She is calm, and then he arrives and she is 'crying'
I felt this entire video. I got “I wish I was 14 so I could be right about everything” and “every time I enter the house you try to start a fight” and also like half the shit she was saying. And the “you’re my heart outside of my body” and the little smile after she starts getting really manipulative triggered me so bad
The _smile_. The eyes that are _not_ smiling. No one who hasn't seen this shit even believes it can be a thing. We know.
the first time I ever saw this video I didn't understand why everyone was so upset, because the mom acted exactly like my mother, and I didn't know at the time she was abusive/a narcissist.
watching it now, years later, I'm no-contact and starting to heal 💙
I'm proud of you for escaping and I'm glad you're healing. Getting through that crap when the one dishing it out is your parent is no easy feat.
Your original commentary on this saved my life.
I saw the original back when it was doing the rounds and even wondered why this woman reminded me so much of my own mother, but it wasn’t until you broke down exactly what was happening that I was able to see through the fog.
Thank you so much.
@TiffanyK.-ld2jygood luck. It’s gonna be hell, but even in my hunger and poverty the grass is DEFINITELY greener on this side.
Another thing I noticed, when the officer was asking Parker what was going on and stuff, as soon as he started to say what was wrong Candace started to talk and interject, probably trying to take the focus off of Parker so the cop doesn’t hear him as well and not listen to what he’s saying.
I just realized that her asking “i’m sorry?“ to make him repeat himself that he doesn’t want to get out of the car was to try to get him to lose his temper so she could react. Good on Parker for keeping his cool in that moment.
Yooooooo she totally is disregarding his dad’s position as a parent. She called him by his first name and called the new husband “daddy” when she says “daddy is going to call the police” Wow…
Or to make him scared enough to change the answer.
"Because you've hit me before!" OOOOOH
"And I will hit you again!!!" OOOOOOOOOOOOOH
Yep, that's how her kind works...give her enough time and she WILL at some point let her guard down.
@@JohnSmith-zw8vpin front of the cops too 😭
I can't believe the father still got in trouble, smh. Wtf is wrong with these judges?
Wow. I’m 53 and I have never understood these interactions quite like the way you lay it out. I’ve been binging your channel since I discovered it. Bravo. You are so wise.
God bless you Parker, wherever you are. Mad props to you sir. We’re all with you.
This kid is way stronger than I think I could have been! That mom was a piece of work. 😩
"You've hit me before" "I'll hit you again"
💀💀💀
And some how the judge sided with her crazy ass
That's took me out! In front of the cops. Clearly she resorts to abuse often
OH BOY HERE WE GO AGAIN
I watched an update on this , the father was homeless living in a boat and ended up sending his boy back to live with his mother. Sad situation for the kid
This video really helped me stand up to my father and feel strong enough to leave my father.
You’re a strong and valuable person, good for you for getting out!! I hope the people around you treat you with respect and love now ❤
That father is phenomenal. He intervened for his boy when it truly mattered, and taught him some invaluable lessons that day/time of his life.
The “distressed woman” switch that she flipped the second the police showed up was grade A talent
Also, just have to add: if my child reacted like this when seeing me, I wouldn't be mad. I would be HEARTBROKEN. I would break down crying thinking what I did wrong as a mother. And I would put his mental well being above everything else, including myself. If he has to be taken away from me in order to be healthy, then so be it. The nerve on this woman!