Realistically, Shane would give the police his phone line history and the recording of his boss and his conversations on the phone, reducing his sentence a lot.
I don't think so. Here in the states, if you happen to kill someone while committing a felony that's first degree murder. It is called felony murder. So the fact that he was an accessory to armed robbery, home invasion, breaking and entering and whatever else resulting in a murder whether planned or not,...... He would still get murder one. There might be some room the parole but very unlikely because I don't think murder one has parole in most States
I disagree he was involved with the killing of a detective and his wife the police wouldn’t take your phone logs into account if they don’t feel like it. I feel like That’s less realistic.
@@codycopeland8302 he might not get the death penalty but I know that in New York, at least, If a death occurs during the commission of a felony it is called Felony Murder and carries a sentence of Murder 1. There may be room for leniency or even parole, but this is the law
I started the read this on No Sleep reddit without realizing I was on no sleep. I thought it was real and was so confused as to how this could happen. Oh man. It makes me miss the days when people took creepypastas serious like the Blair Witch project or Slenderman, because they were so new. Those were the good days
So... the criminal justice system in America took a guy who was a getaway driver and that's it, sent him away to prison for longer than most people ever see on the inside(even those who commit horrific crimes) and then wonder why the poor guy is screwed up when he leaves in spite of their so-called "rehabilitation efforts"... and this all happened to someone without any previous convictions... Yep, unfortunately this sounds far too close to real life...
All of the stories on here are very enjoyable, however,this story is by far my absolute favorite one yet and it's my first time hearing this particular narrator who did a fantastic job! Thank you for this little escape!
45:53 Uh huh, that doc done effed up! And Jacks theory is incredibly realistic, much like it’s said when people astral project, it’s sometimes said that if you go too far that it’s slightly possible for another entity to inhabit your body. Or at least that’s what the movie Insidious said.
Fun fact: this was a plot point in the Heinlein short story, 'Coventry'. Citizens who committed violent acts had a choice of 'readjustment' or internal exile.
Erik Hole-son? He committed the low speed getaway after what they did to him. Can't really say more because it's a real thing. But let's just say Walmart electric shopping carts definitely can't outrun police when they are taken on a road trip.
I was thinking about halfway through the story at the part where the lady was on the phone with the brother when "Shane" started acting different "when you vacate a home, someone else is eventually going to move in" and they basically said the same thing at the end but they said it better
Yes because he took part in a crime that was a double homicide, he was lucky that he didn't get charged more harshly. Also the guy he tried to save was a cop killer so he wouldn't get any sympathy for that.
@@Aroaceenby So what, he was there, he was a part of it. Also the police don't know if he is telling the truth or lying. That's how it tends to work. Also the fact he didn't get shived week one for rolling on what sounds like an Italian mob boss is crazy.
I feel like the ending adds an extra layer of dread to their already terrible situation. Because now the court or authorities essentially allowed someone to experiment on Shane and it resulted in him "Missing something" as a result.
Feel bad for Shane and his brother. Their mother neglected them before deciding to put some effort in only when she couldn't fix her relationship with Shane after neglecting him for so long. Sure she was an underage parent but she basically forced him to raise himself and his brother till she decided to give a shit or the fact Shane had to be the main bread winner and doing his best to get money for their family. What more she forced her other son to go through the same shit. Too bad what happened to Shane, getting used as a getaway driver and being thrown into prison.
Ugh, mixing up the salt and sugar thing!!! 😝😝 My ex sister in law volunteered to make the wedding cake, and she did that. Then she didn't say anything to anyone, and all I can say is wtelh??? (She made a 3 layered cake)
The revolutionary technology that is in no way a lobotomy. And nothing like this has ever before been suggested to control violent behavior. That being said this is still a good horror story
@@thevarietychannelofyoutube4769 well yeah, this is much worse. Up until the point where demonic things start happening though, the effects are astonishingly similar.
story felt like an incredibly generic "we're a poor family and the universe is cosmically against us and then creepy things happen" but i actually got sorta sucked back in when he started acting normal again but then the whole souls and demons stuff just completely took me out of it again, by the line "hes moving stuff without touching it" i was just laughing. honestly massive shame as this concept had potential and was even well handled in places. hope this writer keeps trying to make stories because i feel like with time and experience they could create some very good conceptual horror
So, the detective was investigating Mr. Franks. This would have been on record enough that Franks himself known about it meaning the other law enforcement could easily find this information as well. But they turn around and simply don't connect these simple dots that Mr. Franks hired the gunmen and not some poor kid living in an apartment? Realistically, the courts would have Shane serve as witness with immunity or having a significantly reduced sentence and serve some community service. The author could take this and have Shane choose between say 1000 hours of community service or doing the program.
Does anyone know what song is used at 2:18?? I've tried finding it multiple because he uses it in a decent amount of creepypastas, and I really like the song, and I'm just dying to know what it is.
Really they need to just talk with this demon he’s obviously paying bills and doing dishes so he has decorum but he can’t just be acting as if he doesn’t have a family. If you live under this roof once it’s 11pm the scratching on the walls is a big no no I have work in the morning
This was such a eerie story also do you think the guard at the beginning was ethically changed too and that's why whenever he heard the name shane kept looking over
We need a sequel! Perhaps the brother goes missing and his brother tracks him down and realizes that his brother is leading an army of soulless ex cons ( like project mayhem from Fight Club)
Isn’t it interesting how Mr. Ballen used to post More while Creeps posted less but now Creeps posts more & Mr. Ballen posts less did anyone other then Me realize this yet because this is quite the interesting development isn’t it P.S not saying Mr. Ballen is Creeps because I have a deep respect for both Legendary TH-camrs who speak about 2 Legendary & Infamous different types of Horror
Thought the plot twist would end up being a botched revision of a lobotomy that had been performed and Shane, somehow, was trying to communicate while asleeping/sleepwalking.
Wow, Shane was like something natural but with unnatural mechanics inside... Like a piece of fruit, maybe an orange, with clock parts inside it or something. A "clockwork orange" if you will.
If anyone likes this Pasta, I'd encourage folks to find The Clockwork Orange. Very similar themes. The book is much better than the film, but the film (although dated) will work.
I don’t know what it is about this video maybe it’s just your voice. I have fallen asleep literally a dozen times before finishing this one. It’s happening tonight lol
This was super sad, but if you're reading this and you're thinking of not listening to the rest PLEASE DON'T! Please finish it! The ending made my jaw drop!!!
I think he didn’t go to college to save money so his brother could go and also get a house in the suburbs. I also wouldn’t be surprised if Shane had the belief that he wasn’t going anywhere, and thus didn’t try.
Imagine being that Demon.
“Holy shit, this dude is walking around without a soul! JACKPOT!”
Free real state 😂
You can fit so many demons in this baby "slaps trunk"
Spoilers! Jeez
Now imagine that the "demon" is actually a corrupted human soul from "How to Survive in Hell." You know, just for extra irony.
Yeah?
Realistically, Shane would give the police his phone line history and the recording of his boss and his conversations on the phone, reducing his sentence a lot.
I don't think so. Here in the states, if you happen to kill someone while committing a felony that's first degree murder. It is called felony murder. So the fact that he was an accessory to armed robbery, home invasion, breaking and entering and whatever else resulting in a murder whether planned or not,...... He would still get murder one. There might be some room the parole but very unlikely because I don't think murder one has parole in most States
@@angeladamico6426most DEF would not be 1st degree 😂 he’s literally just an ACCESSORY his sentence would be reduced bud. (I live in Texas)
I disagree he was involved with the killing of a detective and his wife the police wouldn’t take your phone logs into account if they don’t feel like it. I feel like That’s less realistic.
@@codycopeland8302 he might not get the death penalty but I know that in New York, at least,
If a death occurs during the commission of a felony it is called Felony Murder and carries a sentence of Murder 1. There may be room for leniency or even parole, but this is the law
What fantasy world do you live in?
And here I was thinking it’s just illegal lobotomy…
Same same same
Perhaps it's a sophisticated version of lobotomy involving the soul instead of the brain, which has disastrous effects as we have seen.
Happens in Hollywood every five minutes
Maybe lobotomy is science's way of describing something metaphysical.
im thinking abut a clokworck orange
Offering people something questionable at the lowest point in their life, never ends well
the real horror here is how incompetent the police are
So like real life 😂?
@@xNephilimxXx ya
Now, now. This wasn’t incompetence, it was malice. They care about closing cases, not about justice.
they are jerks in real life too period in norway too
Ya :((
Feel bad for this family, every time something good happens for them, it gets ruined.
I thought the title said Ethnically Altered lol
"Bring the albinizer!"
Edit: I'm glad to see that at least 19 people know about that crazy movie😅
I did too, lol
Same
“My brother became a swirl of races… to say the least… he was popular with everyone… but only because they would use him for passes
oh good it wasnt just me
I started the read this on No Sleep reddit without realizing I was on no sleep. I thought it was real and was so confused as to how this could happen. Oh man. It makes me miss the days when people took creepypastas serious like the Blair Witch project or Slenderman, because they were so new. Those were the good days
I STILL CONVINCE THESE LIL CREATURES SLENDERMAN IS REAL.
Wait, slender man ain’t real?
Well I had better tell the guy standing on the edge of the woods just outside my window.
@@johnmcwick1 😳
Shame this story isn’t longer, really would’ve loved to hear how he ended up dealing with Shane.
Same 😩
So... the criminal justice system in America took a guy who was a getaway driver and that's it, sent him away to prison for longer than most people ever see on the inside(even those who commit horrific crimes) and then wonder why the poor guy is screwed up when he leaves in spite of their so-called "rehabilitation efforts"... and this all happened to someone without any previous convictions...
Yep, unfortunately this sounds far too close to real life...
Meanwhile illegal immigrants and rioters get a slap on the wrist for assaulting police
Honestly, I found the whole thing, including the ‘doctor’, quite infuriating.
All of the stories on here are very enjoyable, however,this story is by far my absolute favorite one yet and it's my first time hearing this particular narrator who did a fantastic job! Thank you for this little escape!
45:53 Uh huh, that doc done effed up! And Jacks theory is incredibly realistic, much like it’s said when people astral project, it’s sometimes said that if you go too far that it’s slightly possible for another entity to inhabit your body. Or at least that’s what the movie Insidious said.
A Clockwork Orange meets The Exorcist...
This is some Clock Work Orange kind of plot
my thaugt exatly
welly wellyy well o my brothers
This wasn't creepy. It was sad and rage inducing. To me, anyway.
@@wbwbc89 I feel like it'd make it worse though.
@@wbwbc89 yep
I feel like if CreepsMCpasta accidentally picked a story with some closure, it might be a sign of the apocalypse. It's kind of a tradition.
@@Zipster_The_Sarcastic
I don’t really understand how it would make it worse. Is the fun in the mystery for you?
@@newtfigton8795 Some of it is. I don't think any answer would be sufficient. That's just my opinion.
Fun fact: this was a plot point in the Heinlein short story, 'Coventry'. Citizens who committed violent acts had a choice of 'readjustment' or internal exile.
What about Clockwork Orange?
how abut some moloco plus@@HollyMacNaughton
He said “illegible for parole” instead of “eligible” 😂
SPOILER- A metaphor for the effects of our so-called “justice system”, Reminds me a bit of Ken Kesey’s ‘Cookoos Nest”. Kudos to the author.
This happened to my buddy Eric
My names not Eric !!!! ?
Erik Hole-son? He committed the low speed getaway after what they did to him.
Can't really say more because it's a real thing. But let's just say Walmart electric shopping carts definitely can't outrun police when they are taken on a road trip.
I feel like I need more...
fr i remember this from erics party back in '98
😊
I just read this story a week or two ago on no sleep. It was a good one, happy one of the greats narrated it.
I was thinking about halfway through the story at the part where the lady was on the phone with the brother when "Shane" started acting different "when you vacate a home, someone else is eventually going to move in" and they basically said the same thing at the end but they said it better
The mom in this story was an awful person her two sons deserved better
I see her more like a victim of her life
Wow....he tried to save a life and ended up getting arrested. 😢
Welcome to real world. I got arrested twice because i dared to defend myself.
@@kuruzsloorig278 that's screwed up. Sorry that happened to you.
Yes because he took part in a crime that was a double homicide, he was lucky that he didn't get charged more harshly.
Also the guy he tried to save was a cop killer so he wouldn't get any sympathy for that.
@@dantekinkade8765 he tried to do the right thing. He didn't even know the other guy was a cop at the time.
@@Aroaceenby So what, he was there, he was a part of it. Also the police don't know if he is telling the truth or lying.
That's how it tends to work.
Also the fact he didn't get shived week one for rolling on what sounds like an Italian mob boss is crazy.
Oh, this was pretty good! I enjoyed it. Thanks so much for narrating this story!
You and Dark Somnium are the GOATs. MrCreepyPasta is pretty decent sometimes too.
Dr.Creepen underrated
@@YokaiXI'll check him out
DarkSomnium's voice sounds like a fat LARPer lol
calling a p3do a GOAT is a new low
@@duppy404try lighthouse horror too
Ohhhh, "ethically"... I read it as "ethnically", which would have been a far different story.
The real monster was the exploitative socio-economics we encountered along the way
Well without a soul, the human body is like an empty vase of bottle, and anything can fill it
I read this as "ethnically altered" and I could not understand what was going on for almost 30 minutes
I feel like the ending adds an extra layer of dread to their already terrible situation.
Because now the court or authorities essentially allowed someone to experiment on Shane and it resulted in him "Missing something" as a result.
This was actually so sad, I hate the mom so much dude
ACTUAL United Devastates creepypasta, real nice creepypasta overall
Feel bad for Shane and his brother. Their mother neglected them before deciding to put some effort in only when she couldn't fix her relationship with Shane after neglecting him for so long. Sure she was an underage parent but she basically forced him to raise himself and his brother till she decided to give a shit or the fact Shane had to be the main bread winner and doing his best to get money for their family. What more she forced her other son to go through the same shit. Too bad what happened to Shane, getting used as a getaway driver and being thrown into prison.
Ugh, mixing up the salt and sugar thing!!! 😝😝 My ex sister in law volunteered to make the wedding cake, and she did that. Then she didn't say anything to anyone, and all I can say is wtelh??? (She made a 3 layered cake)
My tired brain put an extra 'n' in that title.
isnt this the premise to "a clockwork orange"?
No this is a completely unrelated group of droogs
we sat in the corova milk bar
The exposition to this is really good
The revolutionary technology that is in no way a lobotomy. And nothing like this has ever before been suggested to control violent behavior. That being said this is still a good horror story
I'd argue that what the government does here is more evil then that.
@@thevarietychannelofyoutube4769 well yeah, this is much worse. Up until the point where demonic things start happening though, the effects are astonishingly similar.
This was such a great story. Will there be a part 2?
He should’ve called Saul
I knew eventually cancel culture would go too far
Fear mongering and delusional.
Seems more like authoritarian push, than cancel culture..
Cancel culture would cancel that
they're going to cancel *_your soul_*
@@SneakyShades Fearmongering.
@@MathewSteeleAtheologyCringe mongering
Interesting story, the tonal shift at the end threw me off a bit, but still enjoyable.
Its so unnerving hearing your own name (Shane) in a creepypasta
Shane
That ending was crazy, amazing vid
story felt like an incredibly generic "we're a poor family and the universe is cosmically against us and then creepy things happen" but i actually got sorta sucked back in when he started acting normal again but then the whole souls and demons stuff just completely took me out of it again, by the line "hes moving stuff without touching it" i was just laughing. honestly massive shame as this concept had potential and was even well handled in places. hope this writer keeps trying to make stories because i feel like with time and experience they could create some very good conceptual horror
So, the detective was investigating Mr. Franks. This would have been on record enough that Franks himself known about it meaning the other law enforcement could easily find this information as well. But they turn around and simply don't connect these simple dots that Mr. Franks hired the gunmen and not some poor kid living in an apartment?
Realistically, the courts would have Shane serve as witness with immunity or having a significantly reduced sentence and serve some community service. The author could take this and have Shane choose between say 1000 hours of community service or doing the program.
We need a part 2, where's his real brother at?
I would love to make this story into a short film but I’m unsure if it would translate with the same impact
nah screw tht! i wouldve gone public for sure
18:04 suddenly the movie clockwork Orange comes to mind...
Does anyone know what song is used at 2:18?? I've tried finding it multiple because he uses it in a decent amount of creepypastas, and I really like the song, and I'm just dying to know what it is.
Ooooh 🫢…that was awesome 👏
You’re so good at this 👍🤜🤛✨
Hi All, Great Story DofD & StoryTelling Was Well Döne. Thanks for Yöur Time Bringing Us This Story.. ✌️❤️.. Fröm 🇨🇦
This is sad an rage inducing but also creepy the thing that inhabits a soulless body well u never know what u will get
😮 great story pt2 asap
Really they need to just talk with this demon he’s obviously paying bills and doing dishes so he has decorum but he can’t just be acting as if he doesn’t have a family. If you live under this roof once it’s 11pm the scratching on the walls is a big no no I have work in the morning
Thanks for the upload!
Clockwork orange
Yeah but in that case the main character was pure evil and deserved it, or something far worse.
@@dantekinkade8765 Alex was pretty evil.
por alex dint deserve that@@dantekinkade8765
Vocally screamed "UGH" at the end.
Man I hate possession shit. Especially when it's leading up to something different.
Well, I always wanted to work in real estate, and I've had a fascination with the supernatural since forever... So...😅
Great story! TJ's voice is a big sell on believability to these stories.
shane screwed himself over immediately when he at first tried lying to the police
Should've called Saul....
This was such a eerie story also do you think the guard at the beginning was ethically changed too and that's why whenever he heard the name shane kept looking over
We need a sequel! Perhaps the brother goes missing and his brother tracks him down and realizes that his brother is leading an army of soulless ex cons ( like project mayhem from Fight Club)
Isn’t it interesting how Mr. Ballen used to post More while Creeps posted less but now Creeps posts more & Mr. Ballen posts less did anyone other then Me realize this yet because this is quite the interesting development isn’t it
P.S not saying Mr. Ballen is Creeps because I have a deep respect for both Legendary TH-camrs who speak about 2 Legendary & Infamous different types of Horror
Is this a play on the expression "the lights are on but nobodys home"? Hahaha
Literally clockwork orange
Great stories man I really love your stories
Thought the plot twist would end up being a botched revision of a lobotomy that had been performed and Shane, somehow, was trying to communicate while asleeping/sleepwalking.
Thanks creep mac, enjoy ur content bro!!
Gives me The Haunting Hour vibes.
"He is under a synaptic dampener that removes all controversial thought let everybody ride right or the terrorist wins"
Wow, Shane was like something natural but with unnatural mechanics inside... Like a piece of fruit, maybe an orange, with clock parts inside it or something. A "clockwork orange" if you will.
I thought this was going to end with some mention of the year being in the 1940s or 1950s.
Oh and yes im now finally subscribed! Keep up the great work guys!
I LOOOVVEE YOUUU❤. YOUR VOICE IS AMAZING
Dude did sketchy jobs for a shady character, and then was surprised he got into trouble. Not really someone I can root for.
😂 Yeah and you must be a saint.
@@8bitdragoninstall I've never unintentionally gotten someone murdered.
I thought it said ethnically altered 😂 maybe I CAN get the pass
It's a creepypasta not a Netflix documentary
“My brother underwent negroplasty. He wasn’t the same.”
This blessed former heretic is now one step closer to becoming one with the omnissiah
I don’t know why I read ethnically altered.. like he’s changing his ethnicity lol 😅😅
The best narrator on You Tube...
Thanks for STORIES!
I need a part 2
Good story ✌️👏
homie had a lobotomy
Creeps this was SAD!!! 😢
i think she made him more of a menace to society
If anyone likes this Pasta, I'd encourage folks to find The Clockwork Orange. Very similar themes. The book is much better than the film, but the film (although dated) will work.
Shane sounds like a foool for not calling a lawyer
This was a good one 😁
I don’t know what it is about this video maybe it’s just your voice. I have fallen asleep literally a dozen times before finishing this one. It’s happening tonight lol
Man this story was so good till the end. I really was vibing till the soul stuff at the end.
justice for my boy shane
This was super sad, but if you're reading this and you're thinking of not listening to the rest PLEASE DON'T! Please finish it! The ending made my jaw drop!!!
Is this a reupload?
Great Story
I cried towards the end 😭
That face remind me of smile but sinister. xd
You mean. Just like Smile? 😂😂😂😂
He could have been someone and only became an auto mechanic?
I think he didn’t go to college to save money so his brother could go and also get a house in the suburbs.
I also wouldn’t be surprised if Shane had the belief that he wasn’t going anywhere, and thus didn’t try.
@@missnobody8480 I was just surprised. Mechanics are somebody.