What to Do if Your Husband or Wife Has Mental Health Issues
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
- Anxiety, depression, addiction and other mental health issues can lead to challenges or even hopelessness for one or both spouses in a marriage. Dr. Benzio, board-certified psychiatrist, explains how to show care and compassion to your spouse as you walk through the journey to healing.
"Mental Health in Marriage" is a 5-part series providing practical tools and strategies to tackle behavioral health issues in your marriage. Dr. Benzio is a board-certified psychiatrist, the co-founder of Honey Lake Clinic - a residential Christian facility for mental health, mood disorder and addiction treatment. He is also a member of Focus on the Family's Physicians Resource Council and is on the Senior Leadership Team at Liberty University’s Global Center for Mental Health, Addiction, and Recovery. He also works as a consultant and advisor to the Mental Health Initiative.
Read
Hope for a Marriage Challenged by Mental Illness
bit.ly/2SVlJ17
When Your Spouse Is Depressed
bit.ly/33TIg0z
Warning Signs that Your Spouse Has Mental Health Issues
bit.ly/3q7aFM2
Get free resources or speak to a counselor
bit.ly/2QupLg9
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My wife has depression and anxiety and so do I,I met the best woman of my life 5 years ago 7 months ago we married,I never knew she was suffering inside as badly as she was,out of the blue while I was at work she told me not to come home that everything is over,it was devastating I thought things were great between us,I stayed with a family member for a few weeks then found out she had taken 3 bottles full of sleeping pills trying to commit suicide,I wasn't allowed to go in to the hospital to heck on her and that was devastating as well,I sat in my vehicle for 5 days out in the parking lot worried sick about her until they released her then I went home,she only talked to me once since then and told me that no one came to see her and no one cared, she don't know that I was there the entire time just outside worried about her but wasn't allowed inside,we're still married but I haven't seen or talked to her in months and its been really difficult to not see or hear from her,she is the love of my life my family my best friend and my world,mental illness is a terrible thing,I tried everything to make her happy every day but nothing seemed to help,I suffer with depression myself and she was the only cure for me,it was a blessing getting to wake up next to her every day for the time that I did and I'm grateful for that
I’m really sorry friend. Will be praying for you 🌹❤️
If I can offer any advice I’ve learned… never let a person be the reason for your happiness. Learn to love yourself, go to therapy and/or be open to some meds… when you love yourself, it makes you so much more attractive, maybe even to her…
U r strong... very very strong
You gave her too much power
Did you try to talk to her? And u should have told her that they probably didin't let anybody enter to see her or atleast you
Bless you all in here for wanting the best for our loved ones. Even when it sounds like they have lost sight of what’s healthiest for them
i tried hugging him and he wouldnt. he stiffened up and refused to talk to me with the exception of verbally attacking me for reasons he created
Im late here but my husband makes anxiety worse for me. When i feel an attack comjng, he usually says "not again!" Or "again?!!" And then makes me feel bad for having an anxiety attack that i dont tell him anything anymore. I trust my friend more.
Currently experiencing this and it’s not even better if I have no one to talk to about these problems w out feeling judged 🤦🏻♀️
@@loserbeankas8019 exactly 💯
I know how u feel. Sometimes we just need our partner to show they care or just listen.Hope you are well.
He is toxic, seems like he is only thinking about him self u are the one suffering with anxiety
My wife is driving me insane and won't get help!
Believe me brother, I feel you!
Pray for guidance...
I’m in the same boat
My fiancé is getting on my nerves also. He thinks he’s fine, when he’s not..
@@kishageorge7788 Ooh, that's worrying... when's the wedding?!?😄
My wife has no compassion towards me and also doesn’t make me feel safe thank you
Same but my husband :( I have learned to just shut my mouth and have found a couple of close friends who are non-judgmental to actually be myself with, express my feelings to, and get comfort and love and true care from.
@@HeyTripleJ truth
First off your partner needs to be willing to meet you halfway and work through issues. Without that, you don't have a foundation for building up😢
@bcarp509 well said
Well I don't think that allways works very well with mental illness for example if they are in psychosis it's gonna be hard
Let’s form a group maybe we can advise one another. Guys I don’t know. Mental health is deadly!
My husbands mental health is making it where he can't work. He doesn't want to talk about things. He has been going to therapy. Nothing seems to improve. I have tried to use positivity with hugging and positive conversation. I'm going to therapy with him next month. I can handle alot. But the not working now is bothering me after he finished an electrical engineering degree.
In other words, contort yourself into another person, no longer be your authentic self, and live in servitude to an abuser.
What are you on😂
I need help, my husband has severe mental illness and he is in total denial, he also has a drug and alcohol addiction, he reads the bible amd prays with us but yet he is so blinded and makes excuses on why is okay for him to drink, what do I supposed to do?? I feel so lost, today I told him that we need to divorce we have been through so much heartache over this, pls Lord help me and show me what do I need to do?😢
I really hope you're ok. I am in the same situation, my partner didn't want help and before I realized he was having a psychosis. He was hospitalized because he was acting, let's say, very dangerously for himself on the street. I felt and still feel relieved that he is safe there. But sometimes when I visit I get blamed for a lot and that's heavy for me mentally.. I think you are brave for putting yourself first! I feel like that's something I should've done. But love makes it hard ❤ I'm sorry you're also going through this!
This is valuable information, but I am also seeing many caring husbands who are enabling their wives illness and enabling them to stay in sick mode.
Control issue at times, due to personality issue of well partner,
I feel the well partner is not encouraging the healing of sick partner and sick partner is comfortable staying in victim mode, which is also a way to control. Usually controlling or narcissistic husbands are doing this, who are not focusing on their own self.
It depends on the issue
If the person is being violent/abusive
simply saying I want to be your companion/lover is not advisable for either
Appropriate intervention is needed
To protect/ care for both parties
Thanks for the attention
It is much needed
My husband sleeps all day only eats cornflakes he refuses to do anything as in bath change cloths. I can't live this way.and I can't make him go doctor
Every situation is different. Especially when they think you are against them. When are you do is show love and care. They tell lies on you to their friends, so now I look like bad guy. So that support system is gone. Then they refuse to get treatment or any kind of therapy, so now that's out the window. Sometimes they enjoy the hugs and sometimes they just want you to go away.
If you disagree with them, they can get verbally abusive or yet dissappear for weeks to a month, come back like nothing happened. I will say, if the person is treated before getting in a relationship, then they shouldn't be in one. It's not the other party job to fix someone. Do not date anyone with mental illness, it's draining financially, physically, spiritually and mentally.
Some mental illness comes after marriage with age. Many women experience struggles with mental illness during middle age transition due to hormone imbalance and men too due to aging making them weaker physically and low T. It’s called midlife crisis for a reason! It can even happen to you!
Agree.
@@seneynahtrue
& after having a baby and getting ppd
@seneynah Well it's persons fault for not taking care of themselves. Mental illness can be reduced or chance of it happening with proper diet and exercise. Same with low T, proper diet and exercise. Wow accountability is a thing.
Don't say 10 years later, that you raised the kids by yourself. The person knows that they weren't totally available during their depression. It doesn't take away from all they did before and after.
That's a very entitled and ungrateful comment I guess this is the problem with depression it makes people very sekf centred
Your comment is not selfish at all. Unless someone has gone through the depths of depression, then they won't understand its weight. After 9 years now out of deep depression, I'll spend the rest of my life continuing to heal and be there for my husband and kids for lost time.
@@joellebrinkley1521 you sound like a lovely woman. My wife has been dealing me like this for over 4 years now. I feel even worse knowing she has to deal with me, which also doesnt help but knowing shes there is often comforting.
Bless your heart
My husband has autism and had a bad episode which became physically abusive and now he’s left. Not sure what’s going to happen. He’d never admit he had an issue or needed help 😭😭😭
Sounds to me like a textbook narcissist slot of similarities I don't think autistic people do things maliciously
@@iKIDFrezhyou completely missed her point.
@@psillymama that's allowed im not her im another being of understanding
I have the same problem
@@iKIDFrezh Please stop trying to disagnose people online. Really, you think you have all the answers? Even I (I used to go out with a person that was diagnosed with NPD) don't know if this is NPD! Everyone thinks they're an expert and can diagnose everyone as a textbook narcissist from one extremely vague sentence they read on the internet. Honestly, how very foolish. Not everyone is a narcissist. Mislabelling people is a dangerous thing to do. A certified therapist is the only person who can diagnose her husband's condition.
This is a tough road
If he won’t go for help and is increasingly paranoid about medical system? If he seems depressed and increasingly controlling?
Pray for guidance...
Im with ya but my wife...
What if your husband is compassion fatigued and has been dealing with this for 10+ years . He's over it but my childhood trauma won't go away. It's worse now that we have 3 children. I'm told I'm damaging my children. What do I do
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I actually am experiencing something somewhat similar, so know you are not alone. I suffer from OCD and other mental illnesses and my husband is compassion fatigued as well. He has done so much, and honestly is too overwhelmed with my problems. I wish you and your family all the best.
Look at “Hope For The Caregiver” channel, podcast, website, and his books. His name is Peter Rosenberger, he’s been caring for his wife Gracie for 36 years, she lost both legs. They are both believers in Christ.
My wife of almost 43 years went through a lot herself from childhood and went to be with Christ last year. I can attest to the compassion fatigue myself. 😢
Stay the course in Christ and run the course in His strength. Keep your heart focused and stayed on Him alone.
I hope this will be an encouragement to you. Blessings on both of you. 🙋🏼🫡☕️☕️💐💐💐💐💐
You need to stop putting it on him and the children and get into therapy asap. Professionals are the people for the job not your family or friends. Also make sure your family knows you are sorry for the effect on them, you appreciate their tolerance and you are going to get it under control with professional help.
@vanessa...THIS
I’ve been living with it for about 3 years now and getting worse by the day and won’t get help either.
CBD oil can help the person to relax, sleep and eat better. One drop under the tongue per day, and you could gradually improve your relationship. All the best of luck.
Simple solution, if it's ongoing long enough and nothing changes, leave. You deserve to be happy regardless of the love that you have for that person
Yeah, each partner has needs, but the marriage cult does not care about that.
@@neohermitist that seems to be the way things are going lately. It's like everyone is just in it for their own self-interest instead of having love for their partner
@@user-sr3tj5gn8y Love has nothing to do with staying in a destructive relationship.
My wife has schizophrenia which she was diagnosed and she has a lot of paranoia. She refuses to get help because she thinks nothing is wrong with her. She thinks something is wrong with me. We have 2 daughters ages 12 and 19 . We are close to divorce. I stay with her for our daughters. I feel stuck with her and I don't know what to do.
Going the that same. It’s so hard. I feel like im losing myself
@@ShandadeniseEventually you will.
@@Shandadenise better now?
@@JohnLopez-gt6og I’ve been handling it better. I started working on myself, now I notice sooner when he’s off his meds. It seems like it’s a pattern…like every few months.
My husband and I have been together since 2012. Recently we found out he has DID. Well after he got diagnosed he quit his job and left me, moved out to his dads house. We have 2 kids together and he refuses to get help for the DID. I don't know what to do, I really care about him but he doesn't want to help himself. How do I get him the help he needs?
Reach out to a local church or counselor for support for how to support him until he can come to terms with it and seek help
Herschel Walker is an ex NFL player and has DID. Look him up recently he was running for US Senate.
My husband doesn’t want to get help. Now I am pregnant and all stressed if the baby is becoming like its father!! Now I need help 😢
My husband is currently in a mental hospital and was just diagnosed with schizophrenia. He was in jail first, and they beat him. I don't know what to do for him and I am at the end of my line, please help me!!
I’ve been with my bi polar husband 45 years, it is so hard and no easy answers but one thing I finally learnt is to care for yourself, don’t out all your energy into him, it will deplete you if you do, my husband is very selfish and it’s all about him, I have learnt to make sure I’m okay and keep myself healthy and fulfilled, it took many years, I should have left in my earlier years but he is my only family so it’s been hard to break away
Amazing video..
Love this
1:44 why can't my husband be like this as he should and used to be?!
Pray for guidance...
Because he can't and u have to find ways to help him n learn to adapt
if I had a girlfriend who had a metal brakedown or a panic attack I whod be bear huging and refuse to leave, i have alvays bean hug loving person that lovs huging.
Video tape your partners that are going thru a episode it changed my cousin. She knows somethings wrong now
you cant talk to them!!!!
Tough 🤔
True.. cause they will always know more than you and you cant say anything or that simple conversation will end up in a terrible verbal abuse.
My wife has stage 4 pancreas liver lung cancer hair falling out 12 pills a day age 68 I am 65
My prayers for you and your wife!
My ex husband is a doctor, but im sure he has something wrong with himself... is it possible if a doctor couldnt realize that he has mental issue?
yeah, he can't able to diagnose himself
I mean he is just a human not some genius of everything.
I'm not a doctor but I know I suffer from severe anxiety and depression after becoming my 84 year-old mother's 24/7 caregiver 5 years ago.
Why is it the Americans are obsessed with sending people to the church for help no matter what the problem
Summary: tell them to grab a bible. There, I saved you 3 and a half minutes
They won’t
That's very self righteous and it won't work. I've tried a bunch. And now I'm In a pit with my wife. And she is furious as ever
My husband lacks compassion. All 13 episodes of the depression I have been through knowing he has neglected me emotionally and sexually and he wonders why I am depressed an s anxious at 47 with severe crying spells. Abandonment issues are so fun with avoidant types. He should apply his Buddhist principles he talks about so much.
He can never come on this property again I’m so angry
Thank you
Yes we wNt to handle our loved ones carefully with kids gloves. But they may misinterpret this as showing them that they're incapable. What if they're not ready to accept their situation?
Pray for guidance...
@@onlooker4564 Enough! Not helpful!!
@@rykerhasyounow Maybe not to you...
@@onlooker4564 Not to anyone. If you pray to the wall, does it fix your life? Same thing.