My brother is diagnosed with ASD. He is now 22 yrs old. Non-verbal, he can’t also understand everything you say. You’ll have to act first or point the object if you ask him to get me this and that. He’s super sweet, very innocent. We love him so much and we treat him like a baby. He loves to listen to musics very loud, he has a playlist on his own. His favorite musics/songs he wants to repeatedly play. But sometimes when he gets too overwhelmed he begins to smash things. Like breaking mirrors, throwing phones, run while banging the doors and chairs. I would always get emotional because my dad would whip him or threaten him. We took him to a specialist. He was prescribed with medications to calm him. Whenever he throws a tantrum, I would always try to calm him by talking to him gently. Massaging him, and everything I could do just to make him relax. Because I am also concerned about his health. He only eats meat, no vegetables at all. I can really relate to people who have a member of their family with ASD. I hope you all would take good care of them. They did not wish to be like that. Patience and understanding should always be on top of your list when trying to calm them down. I am happy my dad is now slowly trying to understand my brother’s situation. We are still seeking for a proper treatment or proper medical attention to somehow help us understand his behavior as someone with asd. Let us all love them and give them the understanding the truly much deserved.
You’re too complicated for the average parent. Assess, assess, & more assess after I have watched more than one of your videos. I would say this is great advice for the doctor or therapist who doesn’t live or interact with the child daily. But the parents have assessed till they are blue in the face.. sometimes the kid is just very reactive or overload sensitivity, or don’t look at me smack! So you are not giving any answers just to assess most of the time in both videos I have watched- okay we will sit back and assess and keep them in the pool if it doesn’t happen there
My free workshops are for parents and professionals. My community has many parents who have seen great success following my techniques. I hope you can join me for a free workshop and that my community can help support youbit.ly/2ELvSnM
I’m on the same page here... I think her TH-cam videos are more of an introduction or primer to join her workshops, and not standalone answers like what we are looking for on TH-cam. I do get that it is very difficult to give general advice on TH-cam as each child is different and we as parents do need to adapt the strategies to fit them... but I was hoping for something more tangible or a few examples
My niece is 5 years old, severly autistic, non verbal, and only hits when she doesn't get her way. Surely we all shouldn't just give into this bad behavior? We are all just at a loss.
It can be challenging. No, you want to prevent the problem behavior and certainly not always give her her way when she hits. I have free workshops that sound like they would help you and your family ; bit.ly/2ELvSnM
Its important to understand why the hitting is happening because it is often either an unhealthy form of self soothing or communication. Are they frustrated, or sad? Are they seeking or avoiding stimulation? Are they trying to comunicate? The goal is replacing appropriate behaviors with the bad ones. That depends on what they are trying to do. If they are feeling ignored and want attention... maybe show them how to use "nice hands" and tap your knee or shoulder to get your attention. If they want more ipad then maybe work out a picture card showing if then scenerios. There are many many ways to work on reducing these bahaviors. If its from feeling overwhelmed then showing your child how to seek calm by going to a designated calm chair in a quiet place. Things like this can help with the obvious frustration that kids on the spectrum experience. Sometimes its an issue of learning boundaries. Those are important as well. Just knowing that the comunication barriers are often the root of the tantrums and hitting helped us a lot in my family.
Although i appreciate the advise and how calm you are and all of your experience as a mom , a nurse , a BCBA and a PhD, but all of your videos are very redundant. I’ve been forwarding your videos to my sons kindergarten teacher who is a special ed teacher my son has weekly and even daily meltdowns but it would be helpful to have more solution based strategies . When you say “make a plan” after Assesment of frequency and severity we need to know more about the plan. Please make videos with “20 things you can do to help your child have a successful day in school or his special day class so you can go to work without getting called everyday to pick him up “
I understand your frustrating but unfortunately every child is different and needs assessment to determine the 20 things. Are you in the united states? You can request FBA through your IEP to help determine how he can be helped. I also have free video workshops that you can sign up for here: bit.ly/2ELvSnM I also have an online ABA course that has more information on handling a variety of behaviours.
My sister just turned 20 she’s non-verbal, has some sensory issues, is taller than me and my mother, and pretty strong. My mom and I take care of her, but she seems to be hitting and showing aggressive behavior more frequently, It’s become almost an everyday thing now. She usually hits with an open hand but sometimes the reason why she hits is so minimal. Recently it’s evolved into kicking or head butting. Even if I’m near her and I’ll just be lying on the couch, she’ll hit me because we haven’t unlocked the door to go outside yet. She’ll hit my mom if she doesn’t want to wash her dirty feet in the tub or if my mom brushes my sisters teeth and she didn’t want to, she once tried to hit me when I was slow to unlock the door to the house when we got home from errands. Our psychiatrist recommended anti-psychotic medicine, but it has a long list of negative side effects. It’s becoming really hard to handle; my mom is getting older and I’m going to be off to college soon and we both don’t know what to do. My mom read something that said not to react when these things happen and we try, but it is emotionally draining us.
When things like this start happening it could be a medical issue worth investigating. It would also be good to find a local bcba who can help assess the situation.
If she's on medications that might cause it. They give Autistic people meds that make them aggressive. They gave my son ritalin I took him right off. Ritalin made him act crazy. Once I took him off he acted nearly like a child that didn't have any issues.
Hi Dr. Barbera. I have a 16-year old non verbal severely autistic boy. He was tolerable 6 months ago. Suddenly last September he started hitting himself so hard on his forehead, hips & ankles. Hope to have private convo w/ you.
That sounds difficult. I made a video on Pans and Pandas which may be worth looking into if there were sudden behavior changes www.marybarbera.com/video42/ My free workshops may be helpful too marybarbera.com/workshops
My heart breaks for all going through this. It seems like the options are patience of a saint or giving them what they want. My nephew is like this and his mother's answer is HOURS AND HOURS of multiple devices at once. Watching him use them all is like watching a person take speed. It hyper stimulates him and he literally bounces off the wall. Take it away and tantrum/meltdown ensues. I think the technology is very dangerous and alters the chemistry in the brain
I have to say that I have recently noticed this behavior in my kids that are not autistic. Just in the past few months, I have started letting them play Minecraft education version because it was introduced in their online classes. The first thing that I noticed was that all of a sudden I couldn’t get them off of the games to do things like chores or other activities. I would have to ask them five times and it came back “in a minute”, “in a minute”, “wait till I finish this game”, etc . After a little bit of that I got angry and threatened to take the tablets away until my request was acknowledged. And then the meltdowns started. My girls never behaved this way before and I seriously started thinking that these games are completely changing their personalities. Then the arguments started about things that were happening in the game. “She knocked down my house” or a dozen similar arguments. That stuff really pushed me over the edge because I was already annoyed with the constant sibling rivalry between them before the games. I was NOT going to spend my time settling arguments about a stupid game! In the end, I really noticed a complete change in the girls. I was telling a friend that if I didn’t know better, I would say that these games are doing something to their brains and I don’t like it. I mean it just completely changed our entire family dynamic in a very negative way and it got so bad so quickly, I just canceled Minecraft and they don’t have those games anymore. My girls are 8 and 10 and we do online school so they really haven’t been exposed to gaming. My sister bought them a switch for Christmas and now I am kind of freaking about not wanting the girls to get involved with gaming. I feel like some kind of a conspiracy theorist but those games did something very dark to my happy little girls. It doesn’t seem practical but I really don’t want them getting involved with these game systems. 🤷🏻♀️
@@susanjones7734cut it out completely. Please! I work with "normal" regular class small kids. I see daily what gadgets have brought upon us. It's like nobody can remember living WITHOUT them. I am 46. I clearly remember. Please, trust your gut instinct. It IS damaging their brains and cognitive, social and motor skills. Nobody has ANY IDEA of just how bad it has gotten in normal childcare, pre-k and primary regular classes. Unless a global electrical shutdown happens we are never going to rescue children from the mess we created. We bloody need a massive EMP now, I mean now!...😢
My son has been hitting himself since he was 3 years old... He is now 26 and still doing it. I've begged through out his school life for him to have a behavioralist. Each time... His behavior isn't bad. Each time it's been noted regarding his hitting. Now, it's really back fired on us. He hits himself in every mood... Good, bad, things he enjoys, things he don't enjoy... Basically like stemming. My son is basically non verbal. He even started having seizures just 2 years ago. I'm just pissed that I feel he should have had help years ago when the behavior started. I'm pretty sure, 23 years later... That's going to be hard to stop now.
That sounds very challenging. I'm not sure where you are but if you are in the states you may live in a state with adult services. Hopefully you can get connected to some professionals who can support you.
I’d like you to share how to stop the hitting while it’s happening. I’ve gotten hurt working with Austin children. What blocking techniques do you recommend?
@@Leeder1109hi. I just came across this comment. I’m a neuropsychology student and right now, working an internship in special education-behavioral training. The kid I’m training recently started hitting and specifically only because he’s not getting his way. Punishment using timeouts used to work, until he stopped caring about them. He doesn’t hit me or his mom continuously like in an autistic meltdown. He hits a few times, he thinks about it, and makes the conscious choice to hit, making a smug face after, to show that he’s acting out. He’s 9 years old. What suggestions could you give me.
Mam, my son is three, and his having lot of problem behaviour like hitting me or slapping me since the time the schools have closed and his therapy has stopped. What do I do ?
That sounds difficult. He may need more engagement and routine. I know it's hard right now. Try signing up for my free workshops www.marybarbera.com/toddler-ws
What is happening right b4 he hits u. Pay attention to that, make note of it. See if there is consistency, pay attention to where it occurs, what words r u using, r u putting demands on him or is he just sitting there , what is happening, make note of all, find the common denominator.
@@joanneschatzle7993 I know exactly why my little brother hits me, it's because he doesn't want to do something or wants to do something he's not allowed to do. Anytime he's upset or told no. I know why, but what do I do?
@@planetmars444 mary , my point, try different stragities, fav toy/tv/book, the strongest reinforced, First/then, always a consequence when hitting, loss of item, mayb he needs ABA
My child is 4 and iv been trying to explain pain to him and he has no concept of it to others , like for ex. He hits me and i tell him it hurts or try to show him he just screams at me.
Yes. It sounds like the explaining may not be helpful yet. Check out my free workshops if you want more support for helping challenging behavior bit.ly/2ELvSnM
I have the same problem My baby is 2. He brused me bloody daily since he was 0 like an adult I look beaten up and bitten from toes to hair since infant time
Bowels! Bowels are often a big part of the reason for anger in autistic children. Especially if non-verbal. For my son bowels and food are the two biggest triggers. It’s important to pay attention to what was the precedent to the hitting. Not even right before but 5-10- even an hour before.
What is your input on medication? I've commented before that i want to try everything before medication but my son is huge 17 year old and now im considering it.
Now i m in belgium from 2016.And i have one more question or you can say complain that i was knew that my son have some problem from his age 1n half i consult with dr.but dr says its normal till he had an crises in front of nurse than they decide to take advice from nurologist or psychiatrist they advice me to give him risperdal and melatonine for slipping and calming but now its not helping just my family is suffering and as a mother i m loosing my all relation .thats all i hope u understand wat i want to say.
My 6 year old nephew needs help. He's autistic and has violent behavior. He hits with a closed fist, he bites, he bangs on the wall, table, destroyed furniture, he screams and yells, and he even touches your breast or legs when it's a female. When I visited he bit me so hard, and I couldn't take it anymore I just left. I feel so sorry for my sister because there's no relief. He's like this daily. Anything you suggest? He's seeing a psychiatrist, going to aba, but nothing works.
This is all very severe behavior. It is good he has a full team. I'd suggest your sister take my free workshops and make sure her aba team has done a lot of assessment on his skills and problem behaviors bit.ly/2ELvSnM
My 3 year old started hitting us with her palms open and laughing after. We are thinking she might just be seeking our attention. Obviously we are reacting after and tell her no hitting but it is not working. Should we just not react if she does this? It is difficult not to since sometimes she tends to hit my face. Please help
Well, we want to start by figuring out when she does it and then working to prevent it. The most important part to stopping behavior is to prevent it so that there is no chance of reinforcing it! But yes, if attention is making the behavior increase or stay the same we generally want to avoid giving it but without knowing the full situation, I cannot give individual advice.
child is 7 years old and sometimes doesn't listen to anything when he doesn't get what he wants or as simple as if I say he wouldn't get a star if he doesn't finish the work. he usually cries and leaves the place to show he is angry and sometimes hits siblings and parents or even teachers. please suggest how to handle?
That is challenging. Usually problem behaviors can mean demands are too high and reinforcement too low. I discuss this more in my free workshops for all ages marybarbera.com/workshop
try using timer, begin with 5 seconds then receives desired item, verbal praise, continue upping it 10, 15, 20 seconds, as appropriate behaviors occurs switch wording "working for star"
My daughter is 7 years old and has ADHD on top of ASB. She is obsessed with other girls and how tall they are, being in that mindset, she will hit me or dad and if we don’t stop her she will attack the other girl. Do you have more info on this? We live in NW Ohio and are trying to get into a program for ABA therapy. Would you recommend this? Thanks 🙏🏻
It definately sounds like the help of a BCBA will be extremely helpful. Think about if you were given 1000 dollars to prevent this behavior, even one time and think about the supports she would need. While you wait for help you really want to prevent this for sure!
@@marybarbera my son too is autistic he is 20 years,during tantrums he kept on hitting his nose until blood is coming out,If I try to stop him more tantrums.may God bless all autism all over the world.
Mam, my son is 3 years 5 months old. He achieved all motor skills on time .With respect to oral motor ,he used to identify name of objects. But still he is not able to articulate . But most primarliy, he is not responding to his name consistently and not responding to commands. And constantly moving . And if i go for any therapy,they always suggest to go thru some physical activities which he is doing great . Like, he can do animal walks perfectly on his own, when we ask he is not doing it. How can i primarily focus on his audio response ?
Hello! I just subscribed. So glad to find your channel! My son is 12. Randomly he will just charge at his sister and hit or try and hit her. It’s more of a slap. At first it was when she showed emotion. Now it’s when she shows any emotion or sometimes not doing or saying anything at all. We are trying to show all of the attention to her after he does it. Not sure how to react towards him. A time out results in him screaming and falling to the ground. He says he’s sorry immediately after hitting and wants a hug. We are now saying we only give hugs for nice hands. Do you have any advice? ❤️ This behavior has escalated since the virus and he will now be going back to his ABA program during the summer on Monday.
That sounds challenging. I am happy to hear he is going back soon. Covid is stressful for all of us so it isn't that surprising that he started a new behavior. Usually you should look at times when it absolutely doesn't happen and times it might. Try to prevent with more times he won't. Check out more techniques at www.marybarbera.com/quiz
If he regularly hits, then says sorry, it reminds me of something that happens often with children of all ages and levels of cognitive skills. Kid does something bad, apologizes, then is reinforced with praise and/or tangibles. In case this is happening, may be good to observe and figure out if he is still being reinforced by other attention (including being talked to) or tangibles, even if hugs have been removed.
I am an ABA and my current student is a property destroyer. Meaning school desks,supplies,books,when he is frustrated. He is high functioning 2nd grader with no coping skills. Any advice? We are in a regular class setting.
Hi just found your channel because I also have a injurious autistic daughter she was a micro premature baby and blind.last year she had a g-tube operation and recently she was diagnosed with self- injurious autism..she is taking risperidone now at first it was okay she became calm but the doctor increases the dosage in for days taking it she became more aggressive and groggy. So I stop it and continue to gave her the small doses of it ..two weeks had past and she was calm but now 3days before she begun to be more aggressive she pulled her hair always that she become bald..I don't know what to do anymore I'm afraid to give her more medicine might worsen
My daughter is 7 and always been controlling hits me hits her friend has no patience she doesn't like "no" and shouts of screams at me for little things and unnecessary things, and has obsessions, shes still to be diagnosed.
Hello Barbara, My 3 years old son has recently been hitting me and his younger brother. He would also kick whatever is in his way and pick and throw things in the air if not allowed to do or have something that he wants. How can we deal with his behavior at home, and stop him from hitting, kicking and throwing things as a response to a NO, without it becoming a conflict?
I talk about hitting and aggression here: marybarbera.com/autism-and-hitting-resolving-autism-aggression/ You'll also want to join our workshop: marybarbera.com/workshops/
My 6 years old daughter often (a few times daily) hits, pinch or scratch me, her younger brother, her grandparents or other random persons. She does this when she feels frustratet because anything does'nt work the way she wants and sometimes it's very difficult to tell, why she even does it. Unfortunately there is no activity during wich she does'nt show this behaviour. Even watching TV can make her aggressive and frustratet if the characters do something she does'nt want and other activitys have way more potential of frustration for her, although she basically likes them. She just becomes frustratet so easily because of everything.
Hi Mary! My 14 year old younger brother has autism and has recently gotten into the habit of hitting me every time he sees me. It’s come to the point where I can no longer be in any rooms with him. Any advice?
That sounds very difficult ! It is difficult for me to give advice without knowing him or what his assessment looks like. Does he have a bcba who can help support you both at home ??
- try entering the room with item he likes and when attempts are made, put items in his hand - try grabbing his hands, gently, and clapping & singing - if he like a certain song, enter room singing song, wave hands in conductor manner hope some help
Hello my son is 10 and has been being VERY aggressive with his brother and any kid that walks around him when we are around people as well as hitting our dog when he gets angry his aggression has been very hard recently. What should I do or who should I reach out too. Thank you
I have a 11 year old who is large and at the moment throws things, smashes anything when angry, swears a me, hits me scratches....trying to get through day by day ❤️❤️❤️
My teenagers hits me and shut down won’t talk when I tell him what to do. Like cleaning,answering to me or even take a shower.. I don’t like that he hit me he’s 14 and taller than me.
That can be a challenge . You can try to find a bcba in your area by going to bacb.com to help you design a plan. My free workshops are also a good place to go bit.ly/2ELvSnM
I am so depressed seeing my Beautiful Baby Girl hitting herself. It breaks my heart and hurts me to my soul. Nothing in life has ever hurt me as much as seeing my Angel do this to herself. I’ve tried so hard to stop it. From showing her the love I have for her, to being very stern with her. I feel so depressed and emotionally drained how this could be happening to the little person that means more to me than anything in this world. I can’t talk to my wife about it cause then I see her get so down cause she always tells me I’m “her Rock”. My parents are gone, wish my mom was here so I could talk to her, she would always be there for me no matter what and never would tell anyone what I confided in her. Nothing hurts more than watching your child suffer.
Yes it is difficult but there is hope. Maybe try listening to Kelseys story here marybarbera.com/3 . My free workshops can help you get started in turning things around marybarbera.com/workshops
I feel the same way as you do and it is very hard at times. My son is 2 and a half and we have good days and bad. Stay strong and I send you good vibes your way.
Hi, I have a 2 years old daughter I just discovered some of the red flags of autism in her like hitting yelling tiptoe hand flagging non verbal though she she was saying some words but now she has stopped. What can I do please I need your help
I work as a behavior therapist. I had a first time eve incident today. My kiddo (16) was happy, responding and droning discrete trials. we were high fiving and she was smiling for her good work. On her last high five, in the blink of an eye , she grabbed my heads by the pony tail, pulled my head down to the floor, and fist hammered the back of my head. She wouldn’t stop. It turned into a tantrum. I’m so confused because there was no antecedent, we were finishing discrete trials sessions and I was literally reinforcing her for her last question. We were done! And going to take a break , eat fruit. Etc. I can’t understand the function, I didn’t place a demand on her. She wasn’t angry. I also have never been hit that hard and that unguarded by a kiddo before. Totally demoralized today
Hello, What can you say about a 7- year old who doesn’t hit at home , doesn’t throw things, but when he goes to school he is doing the total opposite, nothing but complains everyday from my son that is in asd class In a public school, he doesn’t do any of the stuff we are told he is doing in class at home. This is so frustrating, and concerning, any info will help 😭
Oh no this must be really hard on your part. I do have online workshop that can be beneficial for your situation. Come on join me at www.marybarbera.com/workshop
Hi my grandson is almost 4 . And he use to play with toys. But don't anymore . All he does is open close doors . And if you have baby locks on them he. Will ho and slap anything that makes a noise . Like fridge, stove ,dishwasher, wall heaters . The whole time he is inside . She takes him out in a stroller. Because he runs away . And she has a 2 year old . And a other on the way . The two year is fine . No autism. But he starts to act like his older brother. And hits things Is there away to stop the older one with autism. From hitting things non stop . He does it non stop the whole time he is awake . His mom goes over and says no . But he keeps doing it Need help to stop this before school thanks
Without knowing the child there is not much I can help with. I do have free workshops that can get you started on increasing language and reducing these problem behaviors bit.ly/2ELvSnM
I know ,what I am asking is not related to the video, but I can't find this answer anywhere. Kids with autism ,prefer to buble and watch them selves in the mirror? I have an 3 old boy , sometimes he is perfectly normal and sometimes I do notice some autistic behavior. Thank you , for your blogs and vlogs, I watch them with huge interest.
Some children with and without autism may enjoy to do that. It is best to look at a child's full social communication skills. CDC.org has some good development charts if you are unsure where he should be.
Preventing problem behavior can allow us to teach more skills that generally helps many behaviors go down. I talk more about this in my free workshops and online courses . Check it out here: marybarbera.com/workshops
My online courses can help you reduce problem behaviors and increase their skills in other areas. If you're interested, join me for a free workshop at www.marybarbera.com/workshops.
My son is 2 and my daughter is 5. My son hits my daughter. What can I tell my daughter to do when he comes after her? He’s not speaking or able to understand any consequences so I don’t bother with that. I usually redirect but I want my daughter to learn to stand her ground while remaining peaceful and non violent instead of running to me or crying and accepting the abuse. She usually cries and keeps getting hit and rarely comes to me. So what can I teach her?
That is a challenging situation. I usually suggest preventing behavior 95% of the time. Can you prevent your son from hitting her? my free workshops may help bit.ly/2ELvSnM
Hello Mary, I have just found your channel.. Now I have a seven-year-old son . me and his mum are no longer together, but I see him regular. my son struggles with concentrating focusing and with his emotions, he gets angry. He hits bites and he also has a bad stammer and gets frustrated when he can’t get his words out .. he’s had issues at school where he has been excluded.. He is also like a Ferrari with bicycle brakes bless him.. Now about two years ago he seen the paediatrician my son was with him for about an hour and a half. His mum told me that the paediatrician said he had ADHD.. Now my youngest nephew now 17 when he was six years old was diagnosed with autism.. Just wondering if my son has been missed diagnosed ADHD, wondering if it could be autism.. kind regards, Andy
My son was never like this until recently (he's 4). He started hitting and running out of the classroom when he started pre-k (we don't have an ASD diagnosis yet, but he has an IEP for speech). I am not sure that he is actually trying to be aggressive. It seems to be playful. Still inappropriate though obviously!
That sounds hard ! It is important to deal with these behaviors quickly so they do not become bigger. My free workshop can help you get started with helping your son regardless of diagnosis : marybarbera.com/workshops
You just described my daughter to a T: 4 years, tries to run out of the classroom and hits her teacher at pre-school. We are working on getting the ASD diagnosis but currently only have an IEP for speech delay. Today she kicked her in the face. She only does it to this specific teacher, as her speech therapists, other teachers, and her mother and I don't get hit. I see your comment is from 3 years ago, and the person running this site chose to advertise her workshops rather than help you. Did you ever make any headway? If so, how?
It can be many different reasons but we want to work to prevent the behavior by building skills. I discuss this more in my online courses. Get a free workshop here www.marybarbera.com/workshops
Hi I’m a teacher. I have two year olds! We just started and I have a child that gets upset and swipes at me. I’m not sure if it’s he’s upset, or frustrated. It’s during transition times. Class to outside, outside to inside. How do I tell what it is that’s upsetting the child?
My 5yrs autistic nephew mostly hits himself because of unable to say, he mostly like to do things which he wants and to avoid others say he start hitting himself. How this can be controlled?
Elaborating/teaching the correct behaviour at correct time will help you....be consistent with your teaching facilitating kids understanding by different means and ways in different situations.
Hi Mary, thanks for uploading videos it really helps us to teach our child. My son is 2 years 9 months old and having ASD, he show tantrums while walking on streets and always asks to carry him after 2 min walk. Could you please guide us on this. Also he is having special interests in playing with plant leaves, onions and straw's or similar objects. If possible create videos for these issues.
Thank you for watching. It is challenging for me to individually give advice without meeting the child or working with your team. I am hopeful my new guide will be helpful for you. You can get that guide at www.marybarbera.com/join
My son is five and has started hitting himself in the head or wanting to head butt others or objects. I came here looking for help in stopping this behavior, but it seems like it just started happening today. I have no idea why. He used to rock back and forth and hit his head on the wall.
My autistic son tried to hit when he wasn’t getting his way until he got hit back. I no longer have them problems. Sometimes they have to feel what they inflict on others. He’s a very sweet young man now doing well in Jr. High School.
Sometimes I feel that may be a solution but sometimes I feel like he will learn that’s a way to deal with things an make him more prone to hitting cus he gets hit or see me do it
@@matthewcorb718 not necessarily. When they feel pain they tend to think differently. Especially once the realize when they inflict pain it comes right back on them….
If a hitter is hit back once or twice, to let them know how it feels, that may work (along with other non-physical teaching methods that might work as well). But if he is hit back regularly, he will likely learn that if HE doesn't like what another person is doing, it's correct for him to hit that person.
Hi, we are from McAllen texas my 4yr old grandson has recently started to push or hit his 5 yr old sister and this happens when his sister cry because she fell or her older brother bother her, thats when he first started dropping to the floor with occasionally hitting his head and imitating his sister’s crying but lately after she starts crying he pushes her then he drops to the floor and hits his head and starts crying. Since this is new we don’t know how to correct it.
Does he have any sensitivity to loud noises or certain sounds? It could be the sound of her crying that’s overwhelming. If it’s something like that, you could focus on something like making headphones available to him when she cries, Another thing I’d wonder about is if she is getting attention from people when she cries and if he might be jealous of that attention. Whatever it is, I hope you’re able to figure it out and find a solution. Good luck!
Where do you get assessment in an area where its not offered? My sons special needs school just sends him home...where he will beat on me...i have no one to help. My county services are awful at best to non existent. My son is a very large 15 yo. I cant get help. I try all i can...even bribery....but all the people that i am supposed to be able to go to for help...wont help. I am a single mom with 2 teens with autism. I tell his brother to shut his door when hes like that. Hes going to kill me someday. It typically happens when he cant get what he wants and i cant reason with him as to why.
@@marybarbera how do i get a social worker for him? He has a care coordinator....and while i do not want to undermine her abilities....when i do ask questions about services or for help...she tells me that she will talk with some of her more experienced co workers and get back to me...but never does. Who would i ask for in a hospital setting?
Hi Mary, my son is 5 yrs old now, he always banging his forehead and hitting his chin and chest when he is irritated especially at night time, he hate to go to bed. I am so frustrated and don’t know what to do to stop him. I am so afraid if he might have brain damage later on if he keep doing it. Please advice me!
Thank you very much for watching! While we can’t resolve complex needs in comment responses, we can point you to a Free online Workshop many parents have found helpful: marybarbera.com/bundle-ws.
pay attention to what he likes, music, reading, toys, etc. have him in his room a while before sleep, start on floor and then try to gear him into bed with item, and let him play with it for a certain amount of time, present items with a timer, keep most desired items just for bed time, try some calming smells such as lavender, some soothing music (lite rain, ocean sounds, etc) keep this on while hes in bed playing start with a few items together, then slowly decrease till down to one. hope helps
my autistic child does hitting just to get negative reinforcement, he provoked the other person by hitting on her hand , mostly he does with their therapist when they want to sit in a session or do those work which is planned by therapist. we used diffrent techniques by holding his hand and count on 10. but when we leave his hand he again slapped their therapist. we done this technique multiple time and also apply time out techniques but its not working . can you suggest the other tricks how we control them?
The first step is to think if I gave you 1000 dollars to fully prevent the behavior, what does that look like. It sounds like demands are too high and reinforcement too low
Hi Mary what's a difference from what you are And a behavior specialist And how would I ask for one. My son would come to me and do something to me if his father sets rules like he came down to the basement AMD throw my clean clothes all over the floor....
Thank you for watching! A BCBA is a credential obtained from the BACB after completing their requirements. Try searching for a BCBA in your area. In the meantime I encourage you to check out my action plan to get started helping your child today! www.marybarbera.com/3sg2/
Basically there was no helpful information.. only talked about assessing behavior.. my grandson started head butting us really hard or biting.. I was hoping to find some answers but all I got was subscribing to your Chanel.. He has been in ABA and schools for the past 4 and a half years (he is 7). Now with Covid and being home without his structured day is probably causing this behavior.. I was looking for some pointers on how to make sure this behavior doesn't become something he will get used to doing.. He is pretty strong and I am afraid that trying to stop him by blocking him might hurt him and I definitely do not want to spank. him.. he will have no idea why he is being hurt.. He is pre verbal but he is very interactive and understands direction very well at all other times.
It is difficult but ultimately without assessment , you won't find out why he is doing it. I also made a video about keeping children engaged because frequently this helps prevent the behavior. When kids are not engaged they frequently resort to problem behaviors th-cam.com/video/iqNhV4wDCpc/w-d-xo.html I also have online courses that go through increasing language in pre verbal children, reducing problem behaviors and increasing self care www.marybarbera.com/workshops for a free workshop.
My 4 year old grandson pinches, but only people he loves. For him it is a sign of affection. I would love to know how to stop him. His dad is covered in bruises.
My online course can really help you curb behaviors like this! Essentially, we want to focus on when this behavior is NOT occurring and increase that. Also, pay attention to behaviors you like and try not to give much attention at all to behaviors you don't want to see. Any behavior that happens repeatedly is being reinforced (even if it's negative). Visit MaryBarbera.com/links-yt for more help.
So earlier my mum was hit in the face and chest where her pacemaker is by a 9 year old who Just came up to the conveyor belt and picked up her cans and just kept throwing these cans at her and my sister he also slapped her in the face ..... at first I just pulled him away and around the checkout and told him to be with his family .... then I saw my mums face reddening her looking sad so I stormed after the mother .... she started yelling at me to not tell her how he's behaving and that he's autistic .... so she didn't say sorry she didn't ask if my mum was ok she didn't teach him one thing she gave him her arm to bite and said remember il ur safe place .....the fact she ignored he's now become a danger to the public....and what that could mean for him in the future if he's still doing that to people a full grown man hes going to end up institutionalised and it's so heart breaking ....
My son is7he was diagnosed at 4 with autism adhd he is fine during the day but at night when we give him medicine to help him sleep about20 minates after medicine he becomes violent hitting kicking screaming jumping on the bed he's no verbal and he see a psychiatrist once a week how do we stop this behavior
My cousin hits everyone but what’s dangerous is he likes to hit people with things (controllers and toys). And he does it out of the blue and smiles about when he gets you. He also saw a clip from a show where a man hit his wife and he said “ I like him”. His mother does nothing about it and if he hits me they won’t tell him off ,so when I do tell him they take his side. He’s only 6 but if they keep not addressing it I’m afraid when he becomes older he will be very violent.What should I tell him when he does hit me or others?
i'm sorry . that sounds challenging. It is best to find a board certified behavior analyst who can help analyze the situation and make a plan to help him.
Dear behavior modification therapy is a standardized/ systematic appraoch....it requires proper assessment of environmental and individual factors reinforcing problem behaviour. For this you have to consult a behavior therapist following his/her given instructions.
@@sltshamsunnisa1060 oh we discovered she had a tooth ache and was obviously hitting out because of that, got it sorted and after she was alot happier but the hitting still continues as I said for a reaction (she enjoys seeing a crying face, I do not react at all) , we have appointments with a behaviour therapist, but we shall see what happens.
My grandson is 12yrs old and my daughter is gettin punched kicked you name she gets it few days ago he kicked her full force in the knee and she fell to ground in agony ....she is very depressed now and cant cope very well and im so worried for her and my grandson its tearing us apart thanks
My son always hitting his head by using his hand sometimes he hit his head on the wall everytime he got mad . He's only 3 yrs. old. I dont know what to do pls help me.
Hi my son is 3 he has severe case and he’s and now he’s not eating most cases he’s now starting to hit and bang his head my wife and work descent jobs so we can’t get any affordable my insurance won’t cover his needs he goes to regular preschool but he needs specialist and nothing is affordable or we dont qualify because considered middle class just so frustrating don’t no we’re to turn do you no any assistance programs that’s affordable we feel like bad parents but what can we do?
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having difficulty getting quality services in place. So many families struggle with similar issues. My online courses can help you and your wife teach your son at home, with just a few affordable materials. For more information, join me for a free online workshop here: www.marybarbera.com/workshop.
Without knowing the full picture I cannot say for sure but make sure you don't give too much attention to the hitting and try to find ways to prevent the hitting and reinforce positive behaviors.
Thankyou for replying. I work as a 1:1 in a school. I'm looking at what triggers are causing the child to lash out...as the child can go from being calm to then seemingly unprovoked hitting, biting etc. I was reading up on it and I was thinking maybe he doesn't know how to react and it's almost like nervous laughter? Thankyou...I am going to try and put into practise not giving the child attention for this behaviour. Thankyou again Siana
Have you ever heard about the Son-Rise program? I stumbled across it one day when I was having a nervous breakdown after a very trying day. I was feverishly searching TH-cam for a video that was going to magically make all my troubles go away after I was done watching it. It sounds to good to be true. If you are familiar with it, I was hoping to hear your thoughts and opinions on the program and if I shouldn't waste my time looking into it and move on and find something else.
I am familiar with it but don't know enough to write about it. I do know that ABA is the most researched effective therapy. If you haven't yet, take a free workshop here www.marybarbera.com/workshops
How to let my stop from pinching me..I'm suffering that much from this problem.. so I cannot control I spank him to correct him coz I hate this attitude..it sucks
Thank you helpful! My daughter is 7 she’s starting to hit at me, usually when she can’t have her way. It’s scary, but I let her know she can’t do that and I hug her and says “ Mommie loves you ok.
My 2 year old son was diagnosed with autism this year he going start aba therapy, speech therapy and ot therapy very soon he got an talking tablet but anyway he been hitting me and when someone yell at him , he want to hit them but instead he hit me but the baby can’t wait therapy tell me to take his hand and say no thanks you
Can they grow out of it he gets frustrated when he is on I pad and can’t get to watch it a tantrum he lies down screaming falling knocking over his head crying and when I try to calm him gets worse
That is a tough question. Yes they possibly can but there are also lots of things we can do to help them gain language skills and reduce problem behavior. Please watch my free workshops bit.ly/2ELvSnM . They will help point you in the right direction.
I just started taking care of a young guy with low functioning autism last week. He punched me like 5 times yesterday only when i was around his Dad. We were talking about my time sheet. My client just charged at me and punched me lol.
My courses can help you learn how to take easy data in order to resolve problem behaviors like this. Prevention is key! For more info, join me for a free workshop at www.marybarbera.com/workshops.
Progress can always be made! My content is generally for young children, but if his language skills are anywhere from a 1-5 year old, my strategies can really help you make gains. All of my paid and free resources can be found here: MaryBarbera.com/links-yt
The more we engage her, the more skills she gains, and the less she will stim in those ways. You might find this resource helpful: www.marybarbera.com/stimming
My brothers 8 and he Hits me kicks me and my 13 yr old sister I'm only 11 and he's always kicking our mom and us also we are tell him stop It hurts nothing works 😭
pay attention to things he likes, toy, pictures, etc. when you get near him, show item and try to engage him with something he enjoys. do not hand him item until he stops kicking though, and be positive in your verbals 'oh great that you have your feet on floor" hopefully that will be of some help.
That does sound like a concern. You can search Mary Barbera + topic (adults with autism) to find some great podcast interviews. Our online courses are for young children with autism or toddlers showing signs and may be appropriate for older kids who are not conversational. We don't have any courses or programs for adults with "higher functioning" autism.
My 3 year old with autism is becoming super violent towards me and I'm so lost what to do. He bites me, closed fist hits me, kicks me, scratches me and then laughs Also pulling the dogs hair
My online courses can help you teach your son, all while reducing these problem behaviors and increasing his language. Join me for a free workshop here: www.marybarbera.com/workshops.
My daughter's is autistic just turned seven and has just in the last few months developed a behavior in school of hitting her teachers and AIDS and screaming and throwing things and doesn't seem like the school's trying to help it is going to punish her and suspend her and I don't know what to do anymore I just want my daughter to get some help and I can't get the school to do anything. They just blame her i And suspend her
My son is 20 starting hitting himself in the head and ears. He has cauliflower ear since 9 years old. We have tried combinations of different psych meds. Helped some being non verbal very hard to know what he is experiencing. He cannot tell me or know how to explain his feelings. It’s is the worst. He has learned a lot of signs for food activity movies and dvd mom and dad. He is 20 and still enjoys Sesame Street. The TH-cam is full of unwrapping candy and food items it overwhelms him. He watches TH-cam kids but do wish they would make older content. He has prime videos he watches the trailers never the full movie. School behavior and speech therapy is a joke. Find the resources on your own so you can monitor the sessions.
Or when he having a tantrum he lied down and starts rolling his head and dosent see what he is doing I’m scared he will hurt himself on a car or toys which are on a floor
My brother is diagnosed with ASD. He is now 22 yrs old. Non-verbal, he can’t also understand everything you say. You’ll have to act first or point the object if you ask him to get me this and that. He’s super sweet, very innocent. We love him so much and we treat him like a baby. He loves to listen to musics very loud, he has a playlist on his own. His favorite musics/songs he wants to repeatedly play. But sometimes when he gets too overwhelmed he begins to smash things. Like breaking mirrors, throwing phones, run while banging the doors and chairs. I would always get emotional because my dad would whip him or threaten him. We took him to a specialist. He was prescribed with medications to calm him. Whenever he throws a tantrum, I would always try to calm him by talking to him gently. Massaging him, and everything I could do just to make him relax. Because I am also concerned about his health. He only eats meat, no vegetables at all. I can really relate to people who have a member of their family with ASD. I hope you all would take good care of them. They did not wish to be like that. Patience and understanding should always be on top of your list when trying to calm them down. I am happy my dad is now slowly trying to understand my brother’s situation. We are still seeking for a proper treatment or proper medical attention to somehow help us understand his behavior as someone with asd. Let us all love them and give them the understanding the truly much deserved.
Thank you for sharing your story here
You’re too complicated for the average parent. Assess, assess, & more assess after I have watched more than one of your videos. I would say this is great advice for the doctor or therapist who doesn’t live or interact with the child daily. But the parents have assessed till they are blue in the face.. sometimes the kid is just very reactive or overload sensitivity, or don’t look at me smack! So you are not giving any answers just to assess most of the time in both videos I have watched- okay we will sit back and assess and keep them in the pool if it doesn’t happen there
My free workshops are for parents and professionals. My community has many parents who have seen great success following my techniques. I hope you can join me for a free workshop and that my community can help support youbit.ly/2ELvSnM
Yeah, she is. I do and notice what she is saying. Yes you can say just over excitement.
Agree
I’m on the same page here... I think her TH-cam videos are more of an introduction or primer to join her workshops, and not standalone answers like what we are looking for on TH-cam.
I do get that it is very difficult to give general advice on TH-cam as each child is different and we as parents do need to adapt the strategies to fit them... but I was hoping for something more tangible or a few examples
@@liltunafish1471 Been watching a few of her videos and thought same, intro to join.
Learning starts at 2:13
Bless you!!!❤️
Thank you
My niece is 5 years old, severly autistic, non verbal, and only hits when she doesn't get her way. Surely we all shouldn't just give into this bad behavior? We are all just at a loss.
It can be challenging. No, you want to prevent the problem behavior and certainly not always give her her way when she hits. I have free workshops that sound like they would help you and your family ; bit.ly/2ELvSnM
Yes my brother does that, he doesn’t talk and when he doesn’t get his way he bang his head on wall, bite and tear up whole house 😥😥😥
Mary Barbera - Turn Autism Around wellliiiwwue
Miya J mmmmmsul
Its important to understand why the hitting is happening because it is often either an unhealthy form of self soothing or communication. Are they frustrated, or sad? Are they seeking or avoiding stimulation? Are they trying to comunicate?
The goal is replacing appropriate behaviors with the bad ones. That depends on what they are trying to do. If they are feeling ignored and want attention... maybe show them how to use "nice hands" and tap your knee or shoulder to get your attention. If they want more ipad then maybe work out a picture card showing if then scenerios. There are many many ways to work on reducing these bahaviors. If its from feeling overwhelmed then showing your child how to seek calm by going to a designated calm chair in a quiet place.
Things like this can help with the obvious frustration that kids on the spectrum experience. Sometimes its an issue of learning boundaries. Those are important as well. Just knowing that the comunication barriers are often the root of the tantrums and hitting helped us a lot in my family.
Although i appreciate the advise and how calm you are and all of your experience as a mom , a nurse , a BCBA and a PhD, but all of your videos are very redundant. I’ve been forwarding your videos to my sons kindergarten teacher who is a special ed teacher my son has weekly and even daily meltdowns but it would be helpful to have more solution based strategies . When you say “make a plan” after Assesment of frequency and severity we need to know more about the plan. Please make videos with “20 things you can do to help your child have a successful day in school or his special day class so you can go to work without getting called everyday to pick him up “
I understand your frustrating but unfortunately every child is different and needs assessment to determine the 20 things. Are you in the united states? You can request FBA through your IEP to help determine how he can be helped. I also have free video workshops that you can sign up for here: bit.ly/2ELvSnM I also have an online ABA course that has more information on handling a variety of behaviours.
My sister just turned 20 she’s non-verbal, has some sensory issues, is taller than me and my mother, and pretty strong. My mom and I take care of her, but she seems to be hitting and showing aggressive behavior more frequently, It’s become almost an everyday thing now. She usually hits with an open hand but sometimes the reason why she hits is so minimal. Recently it’s evolved into kicking or head butting. Even if I’m near her and I’ll just be lying on the couch, she’ll hit me because we haven’t unlocked the door to go outside yet. She’ll hit my mom if she doesn’t want to wash her dirty feet in the tub or if my mom brushes my sisters teeth and she didn’t want to, she once tried to hit me when I was slow to unlock the door to the house when we got home from errands. Our psychiatrist recommended anti-psychotic medicine, but it has a long list of negative side effects. It’s becoming really hard to handle; my mom is getting older and I’m going to be off to college soon and we both don’t know what to do. My mom read something that said not to react when these things happen and we try, but it is emotionally draining us.
When things like this start happening it could be a medical issue worth investigating. It would also be good to find a local bcba who can help assess the situation.
If she's on medications that might cause it. They give Autistic people meds that make them aggressive. They gave my son ritalin I took him right off. Ritalin made him act crazy. Once I took him off he acted nearly like a child that didn't have any issues.
any steroids taken for respiratory issues or many general anesthesia encounters? what about naltrexone? they are hurting the autistic children
@@framundajohnson2186steroids makes me want to hit people too. I cannot take them. Roid rage is real
Hi Dr. Barbera. I have a 16-year old non verbal severely autistic boy. He was tolerable 6 months ago. Suddenly last September he started hitting himself so hard on his forehead, hips & ankles. Hope to have private convo w/ you.
That sounds difficult. I made a video on Pans and Pandas which may be worth looking into if there were sudden behavior changes www.marybarbera.com/video42/
My free workshops may be helpful too marybarbera.com/workshops
My heart breaks for all going through this. It seems like the options are patience of a saint or giving them what they want. My nephew is like this and his mother's answer is HOURS AND HOURS of multiple devices at once. Watching him use them all is like watching a person take speed. It hyper stimulates him and he literally bounces off the wall. Take it away and tantrum/meltdown ensues. I think the technology is very dangerous and alters the chemistry in the brain
Yes, when children have little leisure skills it can be hard for parents to control access to the electronics.
It's like drugs, they create dependence. Mine reacts badly when I take his tablet, one way I stop this is by taking him outside for a walk.
I have to say that I have recently noticed this behavior in my kids that are not autistic. Just in the past few months, I have started letting them play Minecraft education version because it was introduced in their online classes.
The first thing that I noticed was that all of a sudden I couldn’t get them off of the games to do things like chores or other activities. I would have to ask them five times and it came back “in a minute”, “in a minute”, “wait till I finish this game”, etc . After a little bit of that I got angry and threatened to take the tablets away until my request was acknowledged.
And then the meltdowns started. My girls never behaved this way before and I seriously started thinking that these games are completely changing their personalities.
Then the arguments started about things that were happening in the game. “She knocked down my house” or a dozen similar arguments. That stuff really pushed me over the edge because I was already annoyed with the constant sibling rivalry between them before the games. I was NOT going to spend my time settling arguments about a stupid game!
In the end, I really noticed a complete change in the girls. I was telling a friend that if I didn’t know better, I would say that these games are doing something to their brains and I don’t like it. I mean it just completely changed our entire family dynamic in a very negative way and it got so bad so quickly, I just canceled Minecraft and they don’t have those games anymore. My girls are 8 and 10 and we do online school so they really haven’t been exposed to gaming. My sister bought them a switch for Christmas and now I am kind of freaking about not wanting the girls to get involved with gaming. I feel like some kind of a conspiracy theorist but those games did something very dark to my happy little girls. It doesn’t seem practical but I really don’t want them getting involved with these game systems. 🤷🏻♀️
@@susanjones7734cut it out completely. Please! I work with "normal" regular class small kids. I see daily what gadgets have brought upon us. It's like nobody can remember living WITHOUT them. I am 46. I clearly remember. Please, trust your gut instinct. It IS damaging their brains and cognitive, social and motor skills. Nobody has ANY IDEA of just how bad it has gotten in normal childcare, pre-k and primary regular classes. Unless a global electrical shutdown happens we are never going to rescue children from the mess we created. We bloody need a massive EMP now, I mean now!...😢
Yes it is very hard work having a child with autism it breaks my heart my toddler has this feel helpless
My son has been hitting himself since he was 3 years old... He is now 26 and still doing it. I've begged through out his school life for him to have a behavioralist. Each time... His behavior isn't bad. Each time it's been noted regarding his hitting. Now, it's really back fired on us. He hits himself in every mood... Good, bad, things he enjoys, things he don't enjoy... Basically like stemming. My son is basically non verbal. He even started having seizures just 2 years ago. I'm just pissed that I feel he should have had help years ago when the behavior started. I'm pretty sure, 23 years later... That's going to be hard to stop now.
That sounds very challenging. I'm not sure where you are but if you are in the states you may live in a state with adult services. Hopefully you can get connected to some professionals who can support you.
Read about gregorio placeres now
I’d like you to share how to stop the hitting while it’s happening. I’ve gotten hurt working with Austin children. What blocking techniques do you recommend?
I can help you with that. But I would rather email you or send you a video. I was special needs caregiver for 20 years
@@Leeder1109 can you send me that video
@@Leeder1109can you help me with that?
@@Leeder1109hi. I just came across this comment. I’m a neuropsychology student and right now, working an internship in special education-behavioral training. The kid I’m training recently started hitting and specifically only because he’s not getting his way. Punishment using timeouts used to work, until he stopped caring about them. He doesn’t hit me or his mom continuously like in an autistic meltdown. He hits a few times, he thinks about it, and makes the conscious choice to hit, making a smug face after, to show that he’s acting out. He’s 9 years old. What suggestions could you give me.
Mam, my son is three, and his having lot of problem behaviour like hitting me or slapping me since the time the schools have closed and his therapy has stopped. What do I do ?
That sounds difficult. He may need more engagement and routine. I know it's hard right now. Try signing up for my free workshops www.marybarbera.com/toddler-ws
What is happening right b4 he hits u. Pay attention to that, make note of it. See if there is consistency, pay attention to where it occurs, what words r u using, r u putting demands on him or is he just sitting there , what is happening, make note of all, find the common denominator.
You can take online sessions
@@joanneschatzle7993 I know exactly why my little brother hits me, it's because he doesn't want to do something or wants to do something he's not allowed to do. Anytime he's upset or told no. I know why, but what do I do?
@@planetmars444 mary , my point, try different stragities, fav toy/tv/book, the strongest reinforced,
First/then, always a consequence when hitting, loss of item, mayb he needs ABA
My child is 4 and iv been trying to explain pain to him and he has no concept of it to others , like for ex. He hits me and i tell him it hurts or try to show him he just screams at me.
Yes. It sounds like the explaining may not be helpful yet. Check out my free workshops if you want more support for helping challenging behavior bit.ly/2ELvSnM
Does he himself feel pain?
I have the same problem
My baby is 2.
He brused me bloody daily since he was 0 like an adult
I look beaten up and bitten from toes to hair since infant time
Do DAN protocol... F vaccines
Hey Sammi, did she ever help you?
My daughter when she hits sometimes she laugh and sometimes she hits when she is angry. And she loves to listens to music too loud.
Bowels! Bowels are often a big part of the reason for anger in autistic children. Especially if non-verbal. For my son bowels and food are the two biggest triggers. It’s important to pay attention to what was the precedent to the hitting. Not even right before but 5-10- even an hour before.
We have a free guide on potty training: MaryBarbera.com/resources
What is your input on medication? I've commented before that i want to try everything before medication but my son is huge 17 year old and now im considering it.
Join a free workshop today: MaryBarbera.com/workshops
Now i m in belgium from 2016.And i have one more question or you can say complain that i was knew that my son have some problem from his age 1n half i consult with dr.but dr says its normal till he had an crises in front of nurse than they decide to take advice from nurologist or psychiatrist they advice me to give him risperdal and melatonine for slipping and calming but now its not helping just my family is suffering and as a mother i m loosing my all relation .thats all i hope u understand wat i want to say.
Yes . That must of been quite frustrating.
My 6 year old nephew needs help. He's autistic and has violent behavior. He hits with a closed fist, he bites, he bangs on the wall, table, destroyed furniture, he screams and yells, and he even touches your breast or legs when it's a female. When I visited he bit me so hard, and I couldn't take it anymore I just left. I feel so sorry for my sister because there's no relief. He's like this daily. Anything you suggest? He's seeing a psychiatrist, going to aba, but nothing works.
This is all very severe behavior.
It is good he has a full team. I'd suggest your sister take my free workshops and make sure her aba team has done a lot of assessment on his skills and problem behaviors bit.ly/2ELvSnM
Hello Mary can you recommend anything for a Autism 4 yr old who is level 1, high functioning but has very cruel behavior towards animals , parents etc
You will likely want to contact a BCBA in your area to do a full assessment.
My 3 year old started hitting us with her palms open and laughing after. We are thinking she might just be seeking our attention. Obviously we are reacting after and tell her no hitting but it is not working. Should we just not react if she does this? It is difficult not to since sometimes she tends to hit my face. Please help
Well, we want to start by figuring out when she does it and then working to prevent it. The most important part to stopping behavior is to prevent it so that there is no chance of reinforcing it! But yes, if attention is making the behavior increase or stay the same we generally want to avoid giving it but without knowing the full situation, I cannot give individual advice.
@@marybarbera what advice can you help with
child is 7 years old and sometimes doesn't listen to anything when he doesn't get what he wants or as simple as if I say he wouldn't get a star if he doesn't finish the work. he usually cries and leaves the place to show he is angry and sometimes hits siblings and parents or even teachers.
please suggest how to handle?
That is challenging. Usually problem behaviors can mean demands are too high and reinforcement too low. I discuss this more in my free workshops for all ages marybarbera.com/workshop
try using timer, begin with 5 seconds then receives desired item, verbal praise, continue upping it 10, 15, 20 seconds, as appropriate behaviors occurs
switch wording "working for star"
My daughter is 7 years old and has ADHD on top of ASB. She is obsessed with other girls and how tall they are, being in that mindset, she will hit me or dad and if we don’t stop her she will attack the other girl. Do you have more info on this? We live in NW Ohio and are trying to get into a program for ABA therapy. Would you recommend this? Thanks 🙏🏻
It definately sounds like the help of a BCBA will be extremely helpful. Think about if you were given 1000 dollars to prevent this behavior, even one time and think about the supports she would need. While you wait for help you really want to prevent this for sure!
@@marybarbera thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you.
You're welcome!
@@marybarbera my son too is autistic he is 20 years,during tantrums he kept on hitting his nose until blood is coming out,If I try to stop him more tantrums.may God bless all autism all over the world.
Mam, my son is 3 years 5 months old. He achieved all motor skills on time .With respect to oral motor ,he used to identify name of objects. But still he is not able to articulate . But most primarliy, he is not responding to his name consistently and not responding to commands. And constantly moving . And if i go for any therapy,they always suggest to go thru some physical activities which he is doing great . Like, he can do animal walks perfectly on his own, when we ask he is not doing it. How can i primarily focus on his audio response ?
I do have online courses that can help. Check out a free workshop here www.marybarbera.com/workshops
Hello! I just subscribed. So glad to find your channel! My son is 12. Randomly he will just charge at his sister and hit or try and hit her. It’s more of a slap. At first it was when she showed emotion. Now it’s when she shows any emotion or sometimes not doing or saying anything at all. We are trying to show all of the attention to her after he does it. Not sure how to react towards him. A time out results in him screaming and falling to the ground. He says he’s sorry immediately after hitting and wants a hug. We are now saying we only give hugs for nice hands. Do you have any advice? ❤️ This behavior has escalated since the virus and he will now be going back to his ABA program during the summer on Monday.
That sounds challenging. I am happy to hear he is going back soon. Covid is stressful for all of us so it isn't that surprising that he started a new behavior. Usually you should look at times when it absolutely doesn't happen and times it might. Try to prevent with more times he won't. Check out more techniques at www.marybarbera.com/quiz
If he regularly hits, then says sorry, it reminds me of something that happens often with children of all ages and levels of cognitive skills. Kid does something bad, apologizes, then is reinforced with praise and/or tangibles. In case this is happening, may be good to observe and figure out if he is still being reinforced by other attention (including being talked to) or tangibles, even if hugs have been removed.
Hi ! My son has been hitting his head for so long now with his hand and sometimes hitting the wall. We recently got him diagnosed with autism.
Looking for some ,insight , help , resources
The best resource I have is my online courses www.marybarbera.com/workshops
I am an ABA and my current student is a property destroyer. Meaning school desks,supplies,books,when he is frustrated. He is high functioning 2nd grader with no coping skills. Any advice? We are in a regular class setting.
My online courses can help you with problem behaviors like this! If you're interested, join me for a free workshop at www.marybarbera.com/workshops.
Hi just found your channel because I also have a injurious autistic daughter she was a micro premature baby and blind.last year she had a g-tube operation and recently she was diagnosed with self- injurious autism..she is taking risperidone now at first it was okay she became calm but the doctor increases the dosage in for days taking it she became more aggressive and groggy. So I stop it and continue to gave her the small doses of it ..two weeks had past and she was calm but now 3days before she begun to be more aggressive she pulled her hair always that she become bald..I don't know what to do anymore I'm afraid to give her more medicine might worsen
i'd continue to work with your doctor to find an appropriate medication and seek out a bcba.
Thank you
Trying help my partner not going the best because doctors don’t think he has autism so I’m kinda doing it myself thank you for the information
You are welcome.
My daughter is 7 and always been controlling hits me hits her friend has no patience she doesn't like "no" and shouts of screams at me for little things and unnecessary things, and has obsessions, shes still to be diagnosed.
That must be challenging
Hello Barbara,
My 3 years old son has recently been hitting me and his younger brother. He would also kick whatever is in his way and pick and throw things in the air if not allowed to do or have something that he wants. How can we deal with his behavior at home, and stop him from hitting, kicking and throwing things as a response to a NO, without it becoming a conflict?
I talk about hitting and aggression here: marybarbera.com/autism-and-hitting-resolving-autism-aggression/
You'll also want to join our workshop: marybarbera.com/workshops/
My 6 years old daughter often (a few times daily) hits, pinch or scratch me, her younger brother, her grandparents or other random persons. She does this when she feels frustratet because anything does'nt work the way she wants and sometimes it's very difficult to tell, why she even does it. Unfortunately there is no activity during wich she does'nt show this behaviour. Even watching TV can make her aggressive and frustratet if the characters do something she does'nt want and other activitys have way more potential of frustration for her, although she basically likes them. She just becomes frustratet so easily because of everything.
That is tricky! Can she communicate? my online courses may help . check out a free workshop www.marybarbera.com/workshops
Can I please get the 3 step guide too?
Yes! absolutely- Go here www.marybarbera.com/join
Hi Mary! My 14 year old younger brother has autism and has recently gotten into the habit of hitting me every time he sees me. It’s come to the point where I can no longer be in any rooms with him. Any advice?
That sounds very difficult ! It is difficult for me to give advice without knowing him or what his assessment looks like. Does he have a bcba who can help support you both at home ??
- try entering the room with item he likes and when attempts are made, put items in his hand
- try grabbing his hands, gently, and clapping & singing
- if he like a certain song, enter room singing song, wave hands in conductor manner
hope some help
Sometimes they parents should give strong warning to such one-third hit others. I did that to my 20years old son when he was hitting my younger kids.
I pray it gets better 🙏
Hello my son is 10 and has been being VERY aggressive with his brother and any kid that walks around him when we are around people as well as hitting our dog when he gets angry his aggression has been very hard recently. What should I do or who should I reach out too. Thank you
8 year old hits breaks every thing I have to patch holes none stop I'm so tiered he also strong and big for his age god help me
I have a 11 year old who is large and at the moment throws things, smashes anything when angry, swears a me, hits me scratches....trying to get through day by day ❤️❤️❤️
My teenagers hits me and shut down won’t talk when I tell him what to do. Like cleaning,answering to me or even take a shower.. I don’t like that he hit me he’s 14 and taller than me.
That can be a challenge . You can try to find a bcba in your area by going to bacb.com to help you design a plan. My free workshops are also a good place to go bit.ly/2ELvSnM
I am so depressed seeing my Beautiful Baby Girl hitting herself. It breaks my heart and hurts me to my soul. Nothing in life has ever hurt me as much as seeing my Angel do this to herself. I’ve tried so hard to stop it. From showing her the love I have for her, to being very stern with her. I feel so depressed and emotionally drained how this could be happening to the little person that means more to me than anything in this world. I can’t talk to my wife about it cause then I see her get so down cause she always tells me I’m “her Rock”. My parents are gone, wish my mom was here so I could talk to her, she would always be there for me no matter what and never would tell anyone what I confided in her. Nothing hurts more than watching your child suffer.
Yes it is difficult but there is hope. Maybe try listening to Kelseys story here marybarbera.com/3 . My free workshops can help you get started in turning things around marybarbera.com/workshops
Hope .hope hope♥️
I feel the same way as you do and it is very hard at times. My son is 2 and a half and we have good days and bad. Stay strong and I send you good vibes your way.
Hi, I have a 2 years old daughter I just discovered some of the red flags of autism in her like hitting yelling tiptoe hand flagging non verbal though she she was saying some words but now she has stopped. What can I do please I need your help
join me for a free workshop here www.marybarbera.com/workshops and join me in my online courses.
Thanks Dr
How can stopping stimulating my child
google mary barbera stimming for blogs on the topic.
I work as a behavior therapist. I had a first time eve incident today. My kiddo (16) was happy, responding and droning discrete trials. we were high fiving and she was smiling for her good work. On her last high five, in the blink of an eye , she grabbed my heads by the pony tail, pulled my head down to the floor, and fist hammered the back of my head. She wouldn’t stop. It turned into a tantrum.
I’m so confused because there was no antecedent, we were finishing discrete trials sessions and I was literally reinforcing her for her last question. We were done! And going to take a break , eat fruit. Etc.
I can’t understand the function, I didn’t place a demand on her. She wasn’t angry.
I also have never been hit that hard and that unguarded by a kiddo before.
Totally demoralized today
That is tough. I hope you are able to get an overlap and get the supervising bcba involved to support you and the child.
Wow I’m so sorry this has happened to you😢
Good advice.
Thank you!
Hello, What can you say about a 7- year old who doesn’t hit at home , doesn’t throw things, but when he goes to school he is doing the total opposite, nothing but complains everyday from my son that is in asd class In a public school, he doesn’t do any of the stuff we are told he is doing in class at home. This is so frustrating, and concerning, any info will help 😭
Oh no this must be really hard on your part. I do have online workshop that can be beneficial for your situation. Come on join me at www.marybarbera.com/workshop
Hi my grandson is almost 4 . And he use to play with toys. But don't anymore . All he does is open close doors . And if you have baby locks on them he. Will ho and slap anything that makes a noise . Like fridge, stove ,dishwasher, wall heaters . The whole time he is inside . She takes him out in a stroller. Because he runs away . And she has a 2 year old . And a other on the way . The two year is fine . No autism. But he starts to act like his older brother. And hits things
Is there away to stop the older one with autism. From hitting things non stop . He does it non stop the whole time he is awake . His mom goes over and says no . But he keeps doing it
Need help to stop this before school thanks
Without knowing the child there is not much I can help with. I do have free workshops that can get you started on increasing language and reducing these problem behaviors bit.ly/2ELvSnM
Thank you!
You're welcome!
I know ,what I am asking is not related to the video, but I can't find this answer anywhere.
Kids with autism ,prefer to buble and watch them selves in the mirror?
I have an 3 old boy , sometimes he is perfectly normal and sometimes I do notice some autistic behavior. Thank you , for your blogs and vlogs, I watch them with huge interest.
Some children with and without autism may enjoy to do that. It is best to look at a child's full social communication skills. CDC.org has some good development charts if you are unsure where he should be.
If we keep preventing problem behaviours we that eventually make it go away?
Preventing problem behavior can allow us to teach more skills that generally helps many behaviors go down. I talk more about this in my free workshops and online courses . Check it out here: marybarbera.com/workshops
It doesn't go away but can be managed better way
Than you for your video, my 2 sons 6 and 7 year old got bad behavior at school especially hitting bitting the teacher ,please how can i adress that?
My online courses can help you reduce problem behaviors and increase their skills in other areas. If you're interested, join me for a free workshop at www.marybarbera.com/workshops.
Hi I have a private question how do I ask you
you can email info@marybarbera.com
My son is 2 and my daughter is 5. My son hits my daughter. What can I tell my daughter to do when he comes after her? He’s not speaking or able to understand any consequences so I don’t bother with that. I usually redirect but I want my daughter to learn to stand her ground while remaining peaceful and non violent instead of running to me or crying and accepting the abuse. She usually cries and keeps getting hit and rarely comes to me. So what can I teach her?
That is a challenging situation. I usually suggest preventing behavior 95% of the time. Can you prevent your son from hitting her? my free workshops may help bit.ly/2ELvSnM
Hello Mary, I have just found your channel.. Now I have a seven-year-old son . me and his mum are no longer together, but I see him regular. my son struggles with concentrating focusing and with his emotions, he gets angry. He hits bites and he also has a bad stammer and gets frustrated when he can’t get his words out .. he’s had issues at school where he has been excluded.. He is also like a Ferrari with bicycle brakes bless him.. Now about two years ago he seen the paediatrician my son was with him for about an hour and a half. His mum told me that the paediatrician said he had ADHD.. Now my youngest nephew now 17 when he was six years old was diagnosed with autism.. Just wondering if my son has been missed diagnosed ADHD, wondering if it could be autism.. kind regards, Andy
I would suggest joining a free workshop: MaryBarbera.com/workshops
My son was never like this until recently (he's 4). He started hitting and running out of the classroom when he started pre-k (we don't have an ASD diagnosis yet, but he has an IEP for speech). I am not sure that he is actually trying to be aggressive. It seems to be playful. Still inappropriate though obviously!
That sounds hard ! It is important to deal with these behaviors quickly so they do not become bigger. My free workshop can help you get started with helping your son regardless of diagnosis : marybarbera.com/workshops
My son does playful hitting but he dont stop and he ran out of class
did he go under general anesthesia?
My son is almost 4 as well and he hits like crazy! It seems playfull but it's really frustrating 😭💔.
You just described my daughter to a T: 4 years, tries to run out of the classroom and hits her teacher at pre-school. We are working on getting the ASD diagnosis but currently only have an IEP for speech delay. Today she kicked her in the face. She only does it to this specific teacher, as her speech therapists, other teachers, and her mother and I don't get hit. I see your comment is from 3 years ago, and the person running this site chose to advertise her workshops rather than help you. Did you ever make any headway? If so, how?
Thank you ❤️
Thank you for watching, I appreciate it.
Hi there. I would like to know why they like to pinch. Mine pinches me very often.
It can be many different reasons but we want to work to prevent the behavior by building skills. I discuss this more in my online courses. Get a free workshop here www.marybarbera.com/workshops
@@marybarbera Thank you. So much. I just registered my self. Sending blessings.
Hi I’m a teacher. I have two year olds! We just started and I have a child that gets upset and swipes at me. I’m not sure if it’s he’s upset, or frustrated. It’s during transition times. Class to outside, outside to inside. How do I tell what it is that’s upsetting the child?
It would help if you could attend a free workshop! MaryBarbera.com/workshops
My 5yrs autistic nephew mostly hits himself because of unable to say, he mostly like to do things which he wants and to avoid others say he start hitting himself. How this can be controlled?
Self injury is a really tough problem behavior. I have created free workshops for parents that will help you get started. marybarbera.com/workshops
Hi,
My son is 4 and only hits us when he is happy or excited. He never hit with anger.
How do I manage that?
Thank you.
Thank you for watching. I cannot give specific advice but my free workshops will be helpful for you : www.marybarbera.com/workshops
She’s addressing persons who’s the opposite of your sons reasons to hit ok, thank you.
My son is also 4, and is the same way! He'll hit when he's happy & excited
Elaborating/teaching the correct behaviour at correct time will help you....be consistent with your teaching facilitating kids understanding by different means and ways in different situations.
Yes same here .. he tries play hitting and idk what to do
Hi Mary, thanks for uploading videos it really helps us to teach our child.
My son is 2 years 9 months old and having ASD, he show tantrums while walking on streets and always asks to carry him after 2 min walk. Could you please guide us on this.
Also he is having special interests in playing with plant leaves, onions and straw's or similar objects.
If possible create videos for these issues.
Thank you for watching. It is challenging for me to individually give advice without meeting the child or working with your team. I am hopeful my new guide will be helpful for you. You can get that guide at www.marybarbera.com/join
hi I’m 13 and my little brother is 6 and he’s non verbal & he gets really upset easily and usually hits himself on his chin or head
Self injury is hard!
My son is five and has started hitting himself in the head or wanting to head butt others or objects. I came here looking for help in stopping this behavior, but it seems like it just started happening today. I have no idea why. He used to rock back and forth and hit his head on the wall.
Attend a free workshop today to start helping your child: MaryBarbera.com/workshops
My autistic son tried to hit when he wasn’t getting his way until he got hit back. I no longer have them problems. Sometimes they have to feel what they inflict on others. He’s a very sweet young man now doing well in Jr. High School.
Sometimes I feel that may be a solution but sometimes I feel like he will learn that’s a way to deal with things an make him more prone to hitting cus he gets hit or see me do it
@@matthewcorb718 not necessarily. When they feel pain they tend to think differently. Especially once the realize when they inflict pain it comes right back on them….
If a hitter is hit back once or twice, to let them know how it feels, that may work (along with other non-physical teaching methods that might work as well). But if he is hit back regularly, he will likely learn that if HE doesn't like what another person is doing, it's correct for him to hit that person.
Hi, we are from McAllen texas my 4yr old grandson has recently started to push or hit his 5 yr old sister and this happens when his sister cry because she fell or her older brother bother her, thats when he first started dropping to the floor with occasionally hitting his head and imitating his sister’s crying but lately after she starts crying he pushes her then he drops to the floor and hits his head and starts crying.
Since this is new we don’t know how to correct it.
Does he have any sensitivity to loud noises or certain sounds? It could be the sound of her crying that’s overwhelming. If it’s something like that, you could focus on something like making headphones available to him when she cries, Another thing I’d wonder about is if she is getting attention from people when she cries and if he might be jealous of that attention. Whatever it is, I hope you’re able to figure it out and find a solution. Good luck!
Where do you get assessment in an area where its not offered? My sons special needs school just sends him home...where he will beat on me...i have no one to help. My county services are awful at best to non existent. My son is a very large 15 yo. I cant get help. I try all i can...even bribery....but all the people that i am supposed to be able to go to for help...wont help. I am a single mom with 2 teens with autism. I tell his brother to shut his door when hes like that. Hes going to kill me someday. It typically happens when he cant get what he wants and i cant reason with him as to why.
That sounds very challenging. If he has a social worker, starting there may help or contacting your local hospital.
@@marybarbera how do i get a social worker for him? He has a care coordinator....and while i do not want to undermine her abilities....when i do ask questions about services or for help...she tells me that she will talk with some of her more experienced co workers and get back to me...but never does. Who would i ask for in a hospital setting?
Hi Mary, my son is 5 yrs old now, he always banging his forehead and hitting his chin and chest when he is irritated especially at night time, he hate to go to bed. I am so frustrated and don’t know what to do to stop him. I am so afraid if he might have brain damage later on if he keep doing it. Please advice me!
Thank you very much for watching! While we can’t resolve complex needs in comment responses, we can point you to a Free online Workshop many parents have found helpful: marybarbera.com/bundle-ws.
pay attention to what he likes, music, reading, toys, etc.
have him in his room a while before sleep, start on floor and then try to gear him into bed with item, and let him play with it for a certain amount of time, present items with a timer, keep most desired items just for bed time, try some calming smells such as lavender, some soothing music (lite rain, ocean sounds, etc) keep this on while hes in bed playing
start with a few items together, then slowly decrease till down to one. hope helps
JoAnne Schatzle thanks for the response, I appreciate it. He is getting better now and less banging.
@@Rarehouseplants
Yr welcome
my autistic child does hitting just to get negative reinforcement, he provoked the other person by hitting on her hand , mostly he does with their therapist when they want to sit in a session or do those work which is planned by therapist. we used diffrent techniques by holding his hand and count on 10. but when we leave his hand he again slapped their therapist. we done this technique multiple time and also apply time out techniques but its not working . can you suggest the other tricks how we control them?
The first step is to think if I gave you 1000 dollars to fully prevent the behavior, what does that look like. It sounds like demands are too high and reinforcement too low
Hi Mary what's a difference from what you are And a behavior specialist And how would I ask for one. My son would come to me and do something to me if his father sets rules like he came down to the basement AMD throw my clean clothes all over the floor....
Thank you for watching! A BCBA is a credential obtained from the BACB after completing their requirements. Try searching for a BCBA in your area. In the meantime I encourage you to check out my action plan to get started helping your child today! www.marybarbera.com/3sg2/
Basically there was no helpful information.. only talked about assessing behavior.. my grandson started head butting us really hard or biting.. I was hoping to find some answers but all I got was subscribing to your Chanel.. He has been in ABA and schools for the past 4 and a half years (he is 7). Now with Covid and being home without his structured day is probably causing this behavior.. I was looking for some pointers on how to make sure this behavior doesn't become something he will get used to doing.. He is pretty strong and I am afraid that trying to stop him by blocking him might hurt him and I definitely do not want to spank. him.. he will have no idea why he is being hurt.. He is pre verbal but he is very interactive and understands direction very well at all other times.
It is difficult but ultimately without assessment , you won't find out why he is doing it. I also made a video about keeping children engaged because frequently this helps prevent the behavior. When kids are not engaged they frequently resort to problem behaviors th-cam.com/video/iqNhV4wDCpc/w-d-xo.html I also have online courses that go through increasing language in pre verbal children, reducing problem behaviors and increasing self care www.marybarbera.com/workshops for a free workshop.
My 4 year old grandson pinches, but only people he loves. For him it is a sign of affection. I would love to know how to stop him. His dad is covered in bruises.
My online course can really help you curb behaviors like this! Essentially, we want to focus on when this behavior is NOT occurring and increase that. Also, pay attention to behaviors you like and try not to give much attention at all to behaviors you don't want to see. Any behavior that happens repeatedly is being reinforced (even if it's negative). Visit MaryBarbera.com/links-yt for more help.
This was helpful thank you.
Happy to hear it was helpful. Thank you for watching !
So earlier my mum was hit in the face and chest where her pacemaker is by a 9 year old who Just came up to the conveyor belt and picked up her cans and just kept throwing these cans at her and my sister he also slapped her in the face ..... at first I just pulled him away and around the checkout and told him to be with his family .... then I saw my mums face reddening her looking sad so I stormed after the mother .... she started yelling at me to not tell her how he's behaving and that he's autistic .... so she didn't say sorry she didn't ask if my mum was ok she didn't teach him one thing she gave him her arm to bite and said remember il ur safe place .....the fact she ignored he's now become a danger to the public....and what that could mean for him in the future if he's still doing that to people a full grown man hes going to end up institutionalised
and it's so heart breaking ....
It is heartbreaking. We hope they get to address the behavioral issues.
My son is7he was diagnosed at 4 with autism adhd he is fine during the day but at night when we give him medicine to help him sleep about20 minates after medicine he becomes violent hitting kicking screaming jumping on the bed he's no verbal and he see a psychiatrist once a week how do we stop this behavior
If he is only doing it after you give him the medication i'd follow up with your psychiatrist and medical doctors.
Thank you for getting back to me with that advice
Hello there I have a 8 year old daughter with autism and its outta control I need help I don't know what to do to change her behaviour
you may want to contact a local BCBA to help you assess and make a plan .
I sometimes hit my behavior person because I get frustrated or upset sometimes I don’t know how to express myself but I am working on it
This can help: marybarbera.com/autism-and-hitting-resolving-autism-aggression/
I have a autism brother, he is 12 years old. When we never give he wants, he always hurt us he is getting worst.. Any tips?
I hope you reply :(
Thank you for telling us! I know its really challenging you can go ahead read my book. You can access www.marybarbera.com/new-book/
My cousin hits everyone but what’s dangerous is he likes to hit people with things (controllers and toys). And he does it out of the blue and smiles about when he gets you. He also saw a clip from a show where a man hit his wife and he said “ I like him”. His mother does nothing about it and if he hits me they won’t tell him off ,so when I do tell him they take his side. He’s only 6 but if they keep not addressing it I’m afraid when he becomes older he will be very violent.What should I tell him when he does hit me or others?
i'm sorry . that sounds challenging. It is best to find a board certified behavior analyst who can help analyze the situation and make a plan to help him.
My daughter is 9 yrs old and is hitting on a regular basis, most of the time just to get a reaction, am I to late to start your protocol?
No it is never too late !! That sounds very challenging. My free workshops may help you bit.ly/2ELvSnM
Go for regular behavior therapy
Dear behavior modification therapy is a standardized/ systematic appraoch....it requires proper assessment of environmental and individual factors reinforcing problem behaviour.
For this you have to consult a behavior therapist following his/her given instructions.
@@sltshamsunnisa1060 oh we discovered she had a tooth ache and was obviously hitting out because of that, got it sorted and after she was alot happier but the hitting still continues as I said for a reaction (she enjoys seeing a crying face, I do not react at all) , we have appointments with a behaviour therapist, but we shall see what happens.
My grandson is 12yrs old and my daughter is gettin punched kicked you name she gets it few days ago he kicked her full force in the knee and she fell to ground in agony ....she is very depressed now and cant cope very well and im so worried for her and my grandson its tearing us apart thanks
My son always hitting his head by using his hand sometimes he hit his head on the wall everytime he got mad . He's only 3 yrs. old. I dont know what to do pls help me.
Does he have a diagnosis? Self injury is quite serious and usually a bcba is the best person to contact.
Hi my son is 3 he has severe case and he’s and now he’s not eating most cases he’s now starting to hit and bang his head my wife and work descent jobs so we can’t get any affordable my insurance won’t cover his needs he goes to regular preschool but he needs specialist and nothing is affordable or we dont qualify because considered middle class just so frustrating don’t no we’re to turn do you no any assistance programs that’s affordable we feel like bad parents but what can we do?
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having difficulty getting quality services in place. So many families struggle with similar issues. My online courses can help you and your wife teach your son at home, with just a few affordable materials. For more information, join me for a free online workshop here: www.marybarbera.com/workshop.
Any advice pls...child I look after hits and then laughs? Pls any help...
Without knowing the full picture I cannot say for sure but make sure you don't give too much attention to the hitting and try to find ways to prevent the hitting and reinforce positive behaviors.
Thankyou for replying. I work as a 1:1 in a school. I'm looking at what triggers are causing the child to lash out...as the child can go from being calm to then seemingly unprovoked hitting, biting etc.
I was reading up on it and I was thinking maybe he doesn't know how to react and it's almost like nervous laughter?
Thankyou...I am going to try and put into practise not giving the child attention for this behaviour.
Thankyou again
Siana
Have you ever heard about the Son-Rise program? I stumbled across it one day when I was having a nervous breakdown after a very trying day. I was feverishly searching TH-cam for a video that was going to magically make all my troubles go away after I was done watching it. It sounds to good to be true. If you are familiar with it, I was hoping to hear your thoughts and opinions on the program and if I shouldn't waste my time looking into it and move on and find something else.
I am familiar with it but don't know enough to write about it. I do know that ABA is the most researched effective therapy. If you haven't yet, take a free workshop here www.marybarbera.com/workshops
How to let my stop from pinching me..I'm suffering that much from this problem.. so I cannot control I spank him to correct him coz I hate this attitude..it sucks
Hopeing you can reply at me
Hi my workshops maybe beneficial for your situation. You can check www.marybarbera.com/workshops
My son is 37 years old. Is there anything out there for autistic adults?
My son is an adult now too. It is much more challenging to find programs for adults, perhaps contact your local social support agency.
Thank you ❤ 🥲
You’re welcome 😊
Thank you so much. Oh goodness can us parents reach out to you ?
I don't do individual consults anymore but I have online courses where i interact with participants. Check it out at www.marybarbera.com/workshops
Hey
@@inthahous87 hey there
@@tanw.5149 wishing you all the best in this journey
Thank you helpful! My daughter is 7 she’s starting to hit at me, usually when she can’t have her way. It’s scary, but I let her know she can’t do that and I hug her and says “ Mommie loves you ok.
Thanks for watching. I hope it helps.
My 2 year old son was diagnosed with autism this year he going start aba therapy, speech therapy and ot therapy very soon he got an talking tablet but anyway he been hitting me and when someone yell at him , he want to hit them but instead he hit me but the baby can’t wait therapy tell me to take his hand and say no thanks you
Sorry to hear this, but ABA therapy can go a long way so don't lose hope!
Let’s talk about dealing with 4 other siblings with the autistic child...that’s the hard part
I'm never having kids, so happy being single
Can they grow out of it he gets frustrated when he is on I pad and can’t get to watch it a tantrum he lies down screaming falling knocking over his head crying and when I try to calm him gets worse
That is a tough question. Yes they possibly can but there are also lots of things we can do to help them gain language skills and reduce problem behavior. Please watch my free workshops bit.ly/2ELvSnM . They will help point you in the right direction.
Tracy Lehane well if I don’t he can then hurt himself so I have to calm him down
Tracy Lehane he is not having a meltdown just because he can’t have I pad he having one when he can’t watch what he looking for or the I Pad freezes
Tracy Lehane yes I do I don’t need you to judge me look at yourself first before commenting on me and my son
Tracy Lehane easy for you to say keep your comment go yourself your no expert
I just started taking care of a young guy with low functioning autism last week. He punched me like 5 times yesterday only when i was around his Dad. We were talking about my time sheet. My client just charged at me and punched me lol.
My courses can help you learn how to take easy data in order to resolve problem behaviors like this. Prevention is key! For more info, join me for a free workshop at www.marybarbera.com/workshops.
Could use some help my son is 21 and severly autistic its harder now he's olderm
Progress can always be made! My content is generally for young children, but if his language skills are anywhere from a 1-5 year old, my strategies can really help you make gains. All of my paid and free resources can be found here: MaryBarbera.com/links-yt
@@marybarbera my son abilities are that of a 3 -5 year old. I still having a hard time getting help.
It take many years at least my son is potty trained. It.took about 16 years.
I'm getting into aba, I'm 280 5'10 I'm a battle tank i am ready
My autistic daughter makes unwanted shrill voices when she is excited.how to fix that plz reply
The more we engage her, the more skills she gains, and the less she will stim in those ways. You might find this resource helpful: www.marybarbera.com/stimming
My child wont stop bad behaviors
He is constantly destroying things
It's just on repeat everyday to tell him to stop
My brothers 8 and he Hits me kicks me and my 13 yr old sister I'm only 11 and he's always kicking our mom and us also we are tell him stop It hurts nothing works 😭
That sounds very upsetting. Perhaps your mom could find a BCBA to help him .
pay attention to things he likes, toy, pictures, etc. when you get near him, show item and try to engage him with something he enjoys. do not hand him item until he stops kicking though, and be positive in your verbals 'oh great that you have your feet on floor"
hopefully that will be of some help.
I have a 17 autistic daughter when she haves her tantrums she can be violent!! She very strong!!! They she attacks her self and me and her father 😐
That does sound like a concern. You can search Mary Barbera + topic (adults with autism) to find some great podcast interviews. Our online courses are for young children with autism or toddlers showing signs and may be appropriate for older kids who are not conversational. We don't have any courses or programs for adults with "higher functioning" autism.
My 3 year old with autism is becoming super violent towards me and I'm so lost what to do. He bites me, closed fist hits me, kicks me, scratches me and then laughs
Also pulling the dogs hair
My online courses can help you teach your son, all while reducing these problem behaviors and increasing his language. Join me for a free workshop here: www.marybarbera.com/workshops.
My 8 yr old sen child hits punches bites me abd kicks me when she doesn't get her way.
That sounds hard. Join me for a free online workshop at www.marybarbera.com/workshops to start addressing this.
So yourr advice is to keep them busy that's not always easy all things considering
I understand. The key is to find times when the child doesn't hit and work to prevent as much as possible.
My daughter's is autistic just turned seven and has just in the last few months developed a behavior in school of hitting her teachers and AIDS and screaming and throwing things and doesn't seem like the school's trying to help it is going to punish her and suspend her and I don't know what to do anymore I just want my daughter to get some help and I can't get the school to do anything. They just blame her i
And suspend her
That can be really tough. We have a mini course on handling problem behaviors- TurnTantrumsAround.com for all the details
My son is 20 starting hitting himself in the head and ears. He has cauliflower ear since 9 years old. We have tried combinations of different psych meds. Helped some being non verbal very hard to know what he is experiencing. He cannot tell me or know how to explain his feelings. It’s is the worst. He has learned a lot of signs for food activity movies and dvd mom and dad. He is 20 and still enjoys Sesame Street. The TH-cam is full of unwrapping candy and food items it overwhelms him. He watches TH-cam kids but do wish they would make older content. He has prime videos he watches the trailers never the full movie. School behavior and speech therapy is a joke. Find the resources on your own so you can monitor the sessions.
Thank you for sharing. Hope you can join our courses: marybarbera.com/courses/
Or when he having a tantrum he lied down and starts rolling his head and dosent see what he is doing I’m scared he will hurt himself on a car or toys which are on a floor
Thank you for watching. As I said below I'd check out my free workshops. bit.ly/2ELvSnM