When I finally have my total mental breakdown, I know it will be in a grocery store. Antidepressants have made the experience orders of magnitude better, but a busy grocery store can still provoke extreme anxiety and even paranoia. *shudder*
INFJ with chronic fatigue syndrome, and I only shop for myself. I can handle grocery shopping at small stores (Trader Joe's or Aldi), mid morning. I either shop from a list organized by aisle, or I browse very slowly to see what's new. I go once every other month. I also shop weekly at my farmer's market 3 blocks away, at 7 am when it's empty.
INFJ and possibly Autistic, with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue, I haven’t been to a supermarket in 6 months. Thankful to the local farmshop and online shopping for home delivery
Ugh, that was me today too. I remembered what I forgot while I was at the checkout and I was next in line to checkout, I didn't go grab what I forgot cause I was jsut done and wanted out of there lol
As an adult now I prefer going to the store AS SOON as it opens in the AM, or an hour before closing; Friday night at 9PM before Target closes at 10 is nearly empty. I'm in and out in 20 minutes w/o dealing with the hustle & bustle, or feeling anxious about being there too close to closing (as a fellow P/T retail worker haha). Also, I hate how absolutely humongous shopping carts are here in the US. I wish more stores had the choice between large and small.
I hate shopping malls and department stores. That's why I love online shopping. I don't mind grocery shopping if it is not too crowded, but it takes me a long time because I read all of the labels to decide what is healthy for me to buy. (INFJ)
I research online before I go, to find out which are the healthier choices 😁, I refuse to spend any extra time in a store. I avoid shopping of any kind, department stores, shopping malls....they are all a nightmare for me.
I'm an INFJ and I HATE grocery shopping! 😥😩. Funny this video just dropped before I was heading out to the store today! I go out between 10am to 2pm, so I go after the senior citizens are done doing their early bird stuff, and the workers are at work and the kids are at school. And it's during the day (which is safer) and I'm home before everyone gets out of school/work. You wouldn't catch me dead at a place like Wally World. That is total hell for me! That is a sensory overload! You also wouldn't catch me Black Friday shopping or last minute Christmas shopping ever! I have a local store I go to and have my shopping list on my phone set up for store flow, and it's items I buy all the time. If I need it, I put a little heart❤ emoji next to it, and take the heart off after it goes into the cart. That personal space issue! Yes! Can't stand someone standing on my back! Ugh! 😫 Same Trina! You won't catch me anywhere near a grocery store at least 4 days before a major holiday! Food holidays like Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving I will have the whole order bought for the meal a week in advance, just to not deal with the crowds and the insanity. When you were talking about the small talk in the small town, that happened to me today! I ran into a local lady that I knew, and I was picking up a watermelon. She looked at the watermelon in the cart and said “oh they have them for $3.99 at the other grocery store Friday, Saturday and Sunday.” And I thanked her for the advice and I went and bought my watermelon and paid the extra $2 for it because I wanted it today, and my dogs enjoy it too. 🙄🍉🐕🐩🐩. And yes, reading the labels and trying to find a new item to replace a tried and true familiar item, that is a total time suck for me. I will run out to the store and think I'm in there 20 minutes and it turns out it was an hour! I 100% agree about when they change the store layout and planogram! It's totally annoying because it tacks on extra unnecessary looking time because you can't find what you're after, because they moved the aisle or the product! The big one in my local grocery store is the bread used to be in a corner section of the store. They moved everything out of there and put in a beer garden and alcohol. They moved the bread into aisle 12. Nobody could find the bread for months! So when they redo a planogram I clock it in my head where everything is, and I end up helping a lot of customers find lost stuff because the store decided to move it! So the going, the getting, the checking out, the schlepping, the loading/unloading car, hauling everything in the house, and then putting everything away and rotating first in first out. I freaking hate grocery shopping! P.s. A suggestion for a future video Trina, the difference between an INFJ assertive and an INFJ turbulent. I'm an INFJ assertive by about 86% and a lot of the turbulent say I am an imposter INFJ, which I am not.😢
As an INFJ i do hate shopping my hubby does it all i dont even like to put fuel in my car infact its rare i will go out by myself except for work and i have to do night shift as an aged carer as its completely less stressful..i can do one on one ok , small talk kind of ok , because i cant do proper conversations i get real awkward and start stuttering or something and looking like a moron lol ( this is mainly with people i dont know very well ) and im not a moron hahah , its the energy of people its too much invading my space , i described it to my husband as white noise just coming at me ! even since a small girl i wouldnt even like being around people and i would not eat around them ...i am super paranoid about people looking at me im a hermit and my art is my life saving grounding it makes me feel good , also taking to people gives me fatigue..and i switch off sometimes when they talk to me ,,,the more i think about it im really not normal to some lol
I dislike grocery shopping. However, here in my usual store in Germany we don’t have all that visual overload through monitor. There’s music playing, but I pop in my ear plugs, and listen to the music I like. Thus it‘s no longer that much of a nuisance IF I can leave my son at home. If I have to bring him with me, I sometimes want to crawl into the fridge and cry… 😆 The people thing is something I could actually cure to a certain degree. I went from playing out whole conversations in my head before even picking up the phone to effortlessly go about my business on the phone. I honed my conversation skills with doing 5 yrs of customer support for eBay 😆
I'm an INFJ T, mid fifties male, and probably on the autistic spectrum. Chronic fatigue and muscle pain . Never realised so many INFJ s suffered the same fate as me, also chronic loneliness all my life, never fitting in. How many of us were raised with narcissistic parents? Could there be a connection there ?? .Best wishes from Bushmills N.Ireland UK 🇬🇧 👍
Yep, mother was a covert narcissist. She had ADHD more than likely also. So many INFJs with auto immune issues. So many who are neuro divergent. I find myself joining the dots. The big picture is emerging...
Ireland!! Beautiful 😍. I have always wanted to travel there. Many INFJs come from narcissistic parents or parent. I feel there is definitely a correlation. However, I have met a few, not many, but a few who didn't come from.that type of childhood. Most of those INFJs also had a parent that was INFJ or INFP.
I feel seen. Corporate culture has made grocery stores suck. Too damn many people and too big of stores. I want the small neighborhood store that has no one. Aggressive people who STAND TOO CLOSE ARE THE WORST. I make sure my cart is btwn me and the person behind me.
I get very agitated when someone is behind me at the checkout.....especially if it's a self checkout which I usually avoid lol. Some people just don't understand personal boundaries
In a nutshell, we don't like human interaction and it drains us. Same happened with me today i went to attach my number to a card but it required my fingerprints and my fingerprints were not visible so the machine couldn't get it. And some people there they smiled at me and i smiled back then they tried to do this small talk thing but i didn't reply i just smiled back. But it still drained me. I wish people could mind there own buisness. Also, I don't like to go to restaurants because i feel everyone is looking at me while I'm eating I know they aren't but i still feel so. Also, when you go outside there are some people who just stare at you and it's annoying like I know I'm good-looking but Man get a life
Lol when I am in a mood and tired of people, I will quietly whisper to my partner Jay "can't they just all leave so I can finish my shopping?" He laughs but I know he doesn't understand the pain I am in just because I am breathing the same air as other people around me. I have many days I don't want to be touched, I don't want to be looked at, I don't want to be noticed......I just want to live my life at home with my kids, Jay and my dogs ♥️
Oh also, I hate eating in restaurants too, I seldom will do it. We usually get take out. And the last few years if the food place I am ordering from doesn't offer online ordering and I have to phone my order I In, then I refuse to give them business. Haha
I feel you i can completely understand what are you talking about. And you know what's funny even if I don't maintain eye contact strangers still start talking to me. I don't know why
I have no idea what an INFJ is. I keep seeing people throwing out these acronyms with no explanation about what it means. I am autistic though, and grocery shopping is a sensory nightmare.
In the past I would grocery shop in the late evenings when there wasn't many people in the store . The people working in the store also did stalking so sometimes it would take extra time to check out to get a checker at the cash register. I also have trouble buying shoes .huge task if I find a brand and style I like you can't get the same style the next time you go to buy shoes they are always changing the style and the size . The sizes don't seem to be regulated anymore. When I was young you could by the same size and style every time you bought shoes and the same size always fit the same. Does anyone else notice this about getting new shoes?
Me!!! I absolutely hate having to buy new shoes. I too prefer to get the same style over and over but it never happens. So I have to change styles and evens sometimes brands and it throws me into a tail spin for the entire day. I will wear my old shoes until they are literally falling apart. .....I am also not the typical female that as multiple pairs of shoes. I have the ones I wear daily, my winter boots, and my rain boots I wear when I out with my chickens. That is it.
For me, buying shoes is especially hard. My feet are wide and half a size different. So IF I find some I like, I then have to see if they have the two sizes I need to try and that can be stressful just asking because of the disappointment if they didn’t have the sizes. Then what happens when I try on is that they fit one foot but not the other and if I need the next siZe up, maybe they don’t have that, by which point I’ve already become emotionally invested
Advice: 1. Look for a store with self-service checkout (ever since they introduced them in my country, I only use them). 2. Put the headphones on and listen to the music you like - this will alleviate at least to some extent the unpleasant experience of shopping
@@trinabrettnell I understand but I will say what comes to my mind as I’d describe myself as someone who must have been (or perhaps still is to some extend) autistic but I kept striving as I only could count on myself and I had to get into a log of social situations even though I did not like them. You have to remember that you have the right to be in the store/ use the self- service checkout. You have the same rights as everyone else and the same dignity as everyone else - don’t diminish it yourself. Even if you are a bit slower, no one will kill you, no one will slap you or do something to you. Even if they say something, you can kindly reply and ask for understanding. People don’t go to stores to offend others, they are in similar situation as you, they just want to do it, grab what they need and leave. You don’t look like a freak so I doubt you’d attract anyone’s attention aiming to offend you. People have their lives and think about things they need to do rather than focus on others. It’s all in our heads. It’s fear and fear is a LIAR. Don’t let the fear control you. I don’t like small talks either so you can just reply to someone like thanks, fine, all good. We need to remember that that’s how the rest of the people function. We cannot change them. We just have to step into the situation and behave like this. Nothing bad will happen to us. I always keep in mind the fact that’s similar to immunity and bacteria and germs. If you fully remove bacteria/germs from your life and then have to find yourself where there are bacteria/germs, you will get sick, you will develop allergies. It’s all about forcing ourselves and then our immunity system will work perfectly fine. With small steps a lot can be achieved. We only should feel fear when it’s real - like when someone lives in a neighbourhood with high crime rates then their fear of something bad happening to them is real (and necessary). It’s important to differentiate between real fear and the kind of fear that just comes from our mind.
When I finally have my total mental breakdown, I know it will be in a grocery store. Antidepressants have made the experience orders of magnitude better, but a busy grocery store can still provoke extreme anxiety and even paranoia. *shudder*
The best times to grocery shop are 10am and 2pm on weekdays.
I don't mind grocery shopping when it's online pick up or I go to a store I can pay thru the app while shopping to be in and outta there!
INFJ with chronic fatigue syndrome, and I only shop for myself. I can handle grocery shopping at small stores (Trader Joe's or Aldi), mid morning. I either shop from a list organized by aisle, or I browse very slowly to see what's new. I go once every other month. I also shop weekly at my farmer's market 3 blocks away, at 7 am when it's empty.
INFJ and possibly Autistic, with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue, I haven’t been to a supermarket in 6 months. Thankful to the local farmshop and online shopping for home delivery
I also hate grocery shopping as an INFJ. Mostly because of all the people!
I love shopping.
INFJ and love grocery shopping. Shopping for clothes, no. But I've always loved grocery shopping.
I went shopping today and I always forget something because I am so anxious to get out of there. The loud music makes it even worse.
Ugh, that was me today too. I remembered what I forgot while I was at the checkout and I was next in line to checkout, I didn't go grab what I forgot cause I was jsut done and wanted out of there lol
As an adult now I prefer going to the store AS SOON as it opens in the AM, or an hour before closing; Friday night at 9PM before Target closes at 10 is nearly empty. I'm in and out in 20 minutes w/o dealing with the hustle & bustle, or feeling anxious about being there too close to closing (as a fellow P/T retail worker haha).
Also, I hate how absolutely humongous shopping carts are here in the US. I wish more stores had the choice between large and small.
Our Walmart up here in Canada on has the giant carts, but our grocery stores all still have large or small.
Our Walmart up here in Canada on has the giant carts, but our grocery stores all still have large or small.
I have to ask my INFJ coworkers and my INFJ relatives what they think about grocery shopping.
I hate shopping malls and department stores. That's why I love online shopping. I don't mind grocery shopping if it is not too crowded, but it takes me a long time because I read all of the labels to decide what is healthy for me to buy. (INFJ)
I research online before I go, to find out which are the healthier choices 😁,
I refuse to spend any extra time in a store.
I avoid shopping of any kind, department stores, shopping malls....they are all a nightmare for me.
I'm an INFJ and I HATE grocery shopping! 😥😩. Funny this video just dropped before I was heading out to the store today! I go out between 10am to 2pm, so I go after the senior citizens are done doing their early bird stuff, and the workers are at work and the kids are at school. And it's during the day (which is safer) and I'm home before everyone gets out of school/work. You wouldn't catch me dead at a place like Wally World. That is total hell for me! That is a sensory overload! You also wouldn't catch me Black Friday shopping or last minute Christmas shopping ever! I have a local store I go to and have my shopping list on my phone set up for store flow, and it's items I buy all the time. If I need it, I put a little heart❤ emoji next to it, and take the heart off after it goes into the cart. That personal space issue! Yes! Can't stand someone standing on my back! Ugh! 😫 Same Trina! You won't catch me anywhere near a grocery store at least 4 days before a major holiday! Food holidays like Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving I will have the whole order bought for the meal a week in advance, just to not deal with the crowds and the insanity. When you were talking about the small talk in the small town, that happened to me today! I ran into a local lady that I knew, and I was picking up a watermelon. She looked at the watermelon in the cart and said “oh they have them for $3.99 at the other grocery store Friday, Saturday and Sunday.” And I thanked her for the advice and I went and bought my watermelon and paid the extra $2 for it because I wanted it today, and my dogs enjoy it too. 🙄🍉🐕🐩🐩. And yes, reading the labels and trying to find a new item to replace a tried and true familiar item, that is a total time suck for me. I will run out to the store and think I'm in there 20 minutes and it turns out it was an hour! I 100% agree about when they change the store layout and planogram! It's totally annoying because it tacks on extra unnecessary looking time because you can't find what you're after, because they moved the aisle or the product! The big one in my local grocery store is the bread used to be in a corner section of the store. They moved everything out of there and put in a beer garden and alcohol. They moved the bread into aisle 12. Nobody could find the bread for months! So when they redo a planogram I clock it in my head where everything is, and I end up helping a lot of customers find lost stuff because the store decided to move it! So the going, the getting, the checking out, the schlepping, the loading/unloading car, hauling everything in the house, and then putting everything away and rotating first in first out. I freaking hate grocery shopping!
P.s. A suggestion for a future video Trina, the difference between an INFJ assertive and an INFJ turbulent. I'm an INFJ assertive by about 86% and a lot of the turbulent say I am an imposter INFJ, which I am not.😢
Thank you for sharing 🥰, and great topic idea.
As an INFJ i do hate shopping my hubby does it all i dont even like to put fuel in my car infact its rare i will go out by myself except for work and i have to do night shift as an aged carer as its completely less stressful..i can do one on one ok , small talk kind of ok , because i cant do proper conversations i get real awkward and start stuttering or something and looking like a moron lol ( this is mainly with people i dont know very well ) and im not a moron hahah , its the energy of people its too much invading my space , i described it to my husband as white noise just coming at me ! even since a small girl i wouldnt even like being around people and i would not eat around them ...i am super paranoid about people looking at me im a hermit and my art is my life saving grounding it makes me feel good , also taking to people gives me fatigue..and i switch off sometimes when they talk to me ,,,the more i think about it im really not normal to some lol
I dislike grocery shopping. However, here in my usual store in Germany we don’t have all that visual overload through monitor. There’s music playing, but I pop in my ear plugs, and listen to the music I like. Thus it‘s no longer that much of a nuisance IF I can leave my son at home. If I have to bring him with me, I sometimes want to crawl into the fridge and cry… 😆 The people thing is something I could actually cure to a certain degree. I went from playing out whole conversations in my head before even picking up the phone to effortlessly go about my business on the phone. I honed my conversation skills with doing 5 yrs of customer support for eBay 😆
Customer support! My gosh you were brave taking that job, that's one job I know I couldn't so and still stay sane 😁
I'm an INFJ T, mid fifties male, and probably on the autistic spectrum. Chronic fatigue and muscle pain . Never realised so many INFJ s suffered the same fate as me, also chronic loneliness all my life, never fitting in. How many of us were raised with narcissistic parents? Could there be a connection there ?? .Best wishes from Bushmills N.Ireland UK 🇬🇧 👍
Yep, mother was a covert narcissist. She had ADHD more than likely also. So many INFJs with auto immune issues. So many who are neuro divergent. I find myself joining the dots. The big picture is emerging...
Ireland!! Beautiful 😍. I have always wanted to travel there.
Many INFJs come from narcissistic parents or parent. I feel there is definitely a correlation. However, I have met a few, not many, but a few who didn't come from.that type of childhood. Most of those INFJs also had a parent that was INFJ or INFP.
I feel seen. Corporate culture has made grocery stores suck. Too damn many people and too big of stores. I want the small neighborhood store that has no one. Aggressive people who STAND TOO CLOSE ARE THE WORST. I make sure my cart is btwn me and the person behind me.
I get very agitated when someone is behind me at the checkout.....especially if it's a self checkout which I usually avoid lol. Some people just don't understand personal boundaries
In a nutshell, we don't like human interaction and it drains us. Same happened with me today i went to attach my number to a card but it required my fingerprints and my fingerprints were not visible so the machine couldn't get it. And some people there they smiled at me and i smiled back then they tried to do this small talk thing but i didn't reply i just smiled back. But it still drained me. I wish people could mind there own buisness. Also, I don't like to go to restaurants because i feel everyone is looking at me while I'm eating I know they aren't but i still feel so. Also, when you go outside there are some people who just stare at you and it's annoying like I know I'm good-looking but Man get a life
Lol when I am in a mood and tired of people, I will quietly whisper to my partner Jay "can't they just all leave so I can finish my shopping?" He laughs but I know he doesn't understand the pain I am in just because I am breathing the same air as other people around me.
I have many days I don't want to be touched, I don't want to be looked at, I don't want to be noticed......I just want to live my life at home with my kids, Jay and my dogs ♥️
Oh also, I hate eating in restaurants too, I seldom will do it. We usually get take out. And the last few years if the food place I am ordering from doesn't offer online ordering and I have to phone my order I
In, then I refuse to give them business. Haha
I feel you i can completely understand what are you talking about. And you know what's funny even if I don't maintain eye contact strangers still start talking to me. I don't know why
I have no idea what an INFJ is. I keep seeing people throwing out these acronyms with no explanation about what it means. I am autistic though, and grocery shopping is a sensory nightmare.
In the past I would grocery shop in the late evenings when there wasn't many people in the store . The people working in the store also did stalking so sometimes it would take extra time to check out to get a checker at the cash register. I also have trouble buying shoes .huge task if I find a brand and style I like you can't get the same style the next time you go to buy shoes they are always changing the style and the size . The sizes don't seem to be regulated anymore. When I was young you could by the same size and style every time you bought shoes and the same size always fit the same. Does anyone else notice this about getting new shoes?
Me!!!
I absolutely hate having to buy new shoes. I too prefer to get the same style over and over but it never happens. So I have to change styles and evens sometimes brands and it throws me into a tail spin for the entire day. I will wear my old shoes until they are literally falling apart.
.....I am also not the typical female that as multiple pairs of shoes. I have the ones I wear daily, my winter boots, and my rain boots I wear when I out with my chickens. That is it.
For me, buying shoes is especially hard. My feet are wide and half a size different. So IF I find some I like, I then have to see if they have the two sizes I need to try and that can be stressful just asking because of the disappointment if they didn’t have the sizes. Then what happens when I try on is that they fit one foot but not the other and if I need the next siZe up, maybe they don’t have that, by which point I’ve already become emotionally invested
I hate All shopping
Advice: 1. Look for a store with self-service checkout (ever since they introduced them in my country, I only use them). 2. Put the headphones on and listen to the music you like - this will alleviate at least to some extent the unpleasant experience of shopping
I can't use self checkouts. They cause massive anxiety for me if someone lines up behind me waiting for me. I avoid them like a plaque
@@trinabrettnell I understand but I will say what comes to my mind as I’d describe myself as someone who must have been (or perhaps still is to some extend) autistic but I kept striving as I only could count on myself and I had to get into a log of social situations even though I did not like them. You have to remember that you have the right to be in the store/ use the self- service checkout. You have the same rights as everyone else and the same dignity as everyone else - don’t diminish it yourself. Even if you are a bit slower, no one will kill you, no one will slap you or do something to you. Even if they say something, you can kindly reply and ask for understanding. People don’t go to stores to offend others, they are in similar situation as you, they just want to do it, grab what they need and leave. You don’t look like a freak so I doubt you’d attract anyone’s attention aiming to offend you. People have their lives and think about things they need to do rather than focus on others. It’s all in our heads. It’s fear and fear is a LIAR. Don’t let the fear control you. I don’t like small talks either so you can just reply to someone like thanks, fine, all good. We need to remember that that’s how the rest of the people function. We cannot change them. We just have to step into the situation and behave like this. Nothing bad will happen to us. I always keep in mind the fact that’s similar to immunity and bacteria and germs. If you fully remove bacteria/germs from your life and then have to find yourself where there are bacteria/germs, you will get sick, you will develop allergies. It’s all about forcing ourselves and then our immunity system will work perfectly fine. With small steps a lot can be achieved. We only should feel fear when it’s real - like when someone lives in a neighbourhood with high crime rates then their fear of something bad happening to them is real (and necessary). It’s important to differentiate between real fear and the kind of fear that just comes from our mind.