This sounds harsh but I low-key hope he leaves and just pays child support. Having no dad absolutely sucks, but have a dad around who genuinely hates you and wishes you'd never been born? That's going to fuck anyone up to no end. Those poor kids. She sounds loving at least. Maybe she could find a man who actually cares if he were out of the picture.
@@islabee94 It's not even harsh it's just true, they deserve better. Hopefully he goes that route and hopefully the kids will realize eventually that they were much better off for it
@@islabee94 Yes. I sometimes wish my mom had left. She didn't want kids but wanted to please my dad, she resented us so much... That kinda resentment always leads to emotional and/or physical abuse. Growing up feeling unwanted is worse than feeling wanted by a single parent.
@@aldranzam3456 Same situation but swapped parents. I wish every day that my dad left instead of the extreme abuse we (me and my family) had to deal with every day for 15 years.
I love how this dude completely refuses to control of his life. At no point did he think “Hmm, having kids is a major life decision. Maybe I should have an open and honest discussion with my wife before just fucking GOING ALONG WITH IT!!” Its like he’s never considered the option of divorce, which is way better than taking care of TWO children for 18+ years that you don’t want.
We should also normalise being childfree. This guy pressured himself into a position where the only outcome was resentment. But he probably grew up with a conservative ideal. Remember people, putting up boundaries also stops you from hurting people.
Why do you think he literally never talked to his wife about it? How do you know that? For all you know he could’ve made his concerns clear and she might’ve disregarded them
I know no one will agree but personally I think it’s sooo fucking sad to air out ur whole life on Reddit of all places (anon or not) when you have an entire whole ass family. It’s like... go talk to your family
This guy is living proof that you can get married and have two kids and yet still be an incel. Basically the dude fell in love with the first date version of his wife and could never bring himself to value and embrace her as a human being with flaws and ugliness and insecurities, so now he is neglecting her and his children and making his dissatisfaction their problem.
I would disagree. He loved the wife before she was a mom, of a kid he clearly never wanted. The mistake here was that he didn't talked, didn't said no to having a kid and now everyone has to suffer for his poor choices
@@lauratroy13 I refuse to believe she wanted kids so badly and never discussed it before they got married. It sounds like she did and he said great and then hoped it would go away.
Honestly to me it was the wife that was neglecting him. To him she changed in a way that he didn’t love anymore. She made him feel unimportant. It’s fine for people to grow but here it sounds like it was more apart then together.
I came out the womb PURPLE and SWOLLEN because my mom's -you know what- beat the absolute fuck out of me on the way out, fair enough, I deserved it. My dad was in tears over me anyway, he kept saying "she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life." he sat there staring at me for days, and my mom was like "eehh her eyes are swollen shut?? I'm sure she'll be cute in like two weeks... but she looks like a soggy raisin" The hormones hit my dad HARD but this dude is totally devoid of paternal instinct. 😬
It's so surreal to me that some people can get MARRIED without ever once talking about the possibility of kids. I've had this kind of talk with so many of my friends and even random people, it's a nice topic to discuss about and you learn a lot about other people, I could never imagine dating someone and not talking about that at some point. I had this talk even with a girlfriend I had for 2 years and we were a lesbian couple, no accidental babies could happen there lol
@@screaminghorse8818I’m assuming she said “I don’t want to be in a relationship without kids so either imma leave for my needs or we can have kids it’s up to you” which isn’t bad? Like it’s normal to leave if y’all don’t have the same values. But I really wonder what he meant
@@ohnoithinkimcatchingfeelings im not spreading misinformation nor negativity by saying ME and MY EX couldn't have kids lol! if you and your gf can then good for you but im not talking abt ya!
To ANYONE who thinks having a kid will save a marriage/relationship. IT DOESNT! Trust me. Well I mean I’m only 22 but I was the product of this. Idk what they were thinking. At least I have Noel’s videos to look forward to.
Moral of the story: If we are honest about our desires we can find compatible partners and have happy, fullfilling relationships. And if we are dishonest, we are hurting everyone involved.
@@arunkeshavadas7171 ...He said he can't talk to his friends cause they "wouldn't understand" him bitching about his wife,,,and also he judged the looks of a literal baby ?
True, but its actually hard to get one because some doctors refuse to give younger guys vasectomies. My gf works at a urology clinic and both the doctors there do that according to her
@@V3inmistress they tried male birth control pills once but guess what? The men got similar birth control symptoms to what women get. So they stopped making it 💀 Guess women can handle it just fine and suffer but men don’t have to
Honestly, it’s probably better if he leaves. Kids can tell when the parents are resentful, because it leaks into the parenting style no matter how much they try to hide it. The kid’s probably better off with a single mother than both parents and one of them being a total shithead. At least then, his mom has the chance to find someone better.
Honestly Noel is so right about the "what would you do if we got pregnant?" question. I asked my boyfriend that question (specifically about an unplanned pregnancy) a couple months into our relationship and at first he said he would want to keep it but I expressed that I was no where near ready to have a child so my choice would not be to keep it. We had a talk about it and came to the conclusion together that we would not want to keep any pregnancies until we experienced more of life and could financially support a family. It was a great talk to have with him and let us know a lot more about each other and our future plans very early in our relationship which made me very secure with our relationship. Plus I feel like talking about whether or not you want kids should happen before there is even a relationship if you're dating for long term 💀
What Noel says about people keeping secrets is so true. A year into a relationship with my ex, who I’d known for a year prior to that as a friend, he told me he had a daughter who he’d abandoned. Definitely worth discussing stuff like kids (or what would you do if you accidentally knocked me up) early on. Who cares if it seems crazy. You definitely want to know who you’re sleeping with.
A line I came up with that I like to use is “before they let you on the plane, you gotta check your baggage.” Kinda goes without saying but, same for relationships; each person has to know what the other’s bringing on before they can make a decision that that’s someone they want to share a part of their life with.
this reminds me of how my own mother did not tell me how she almost had kids and was married to a man who died before my father until i was like 14. didnt really need to be known fdr me but that is like a big detail.
Noel was hamming it up but i think he has a point about the children talk shouldn't be so taboo, and it needs to come up before things get too serious. People getting married without discussing this shit. And never assume the party that says they don't want kids "will change". Disappointment will insue or a lifetime of resentment
I think the idea that people who don't want anything to do with societal norms (having kids, getting married, and other heteronormative concepts of 'right')"will change" is exactly the environment that creates people like this Redditer. Spending your whole life being told the way you naturally are is inherently wrong is a great way to brood resentment and distrust in yourself. Noel calls this guy stubborn, and I think that's the perfect descriptor! Despite having little-to-no trust in his own morals, he doesn't believe he's allowed to live any other way, and that's why he refuses to set things right. He probably met his wife and preemptively designated her as his future wife because of this mold he's trying so hard to fit into. Yes he's an asshole, and I have no sympathy for him, but, like you said, people need to get into the nitty-gritty honest parts of themselves when seeking serious relationships because they might lose or gain something irreversible.
sometimes i just wonder what the fuck people even talk about with their partners. my partner and i both knew the other didn’t want kids basically a month or 2 in. how can you get this damn long and not be on the same page?
Many people think that their partner will change their mind over time, but this is usually not the case. I had to end a five-year relationship for many reasons and one of them was my ex thought I would change my mind about having a child and I thought he would accept that I didn't want a child. It was weird
i get the impression that these people rarely if ever talk about the really important stuff, that they mostly talk *around* each other and cling to the very specific image they have of the other person. that's my theory anyway
one time I read a parenting book from the 50s and it literally said “many parents may find their newborn baby’s appearance to be disappointing since they’ve _never seen one before”_ So what I learned is that new babies were ugly even before the internet. Also hey man you had this baby _on purpose_ so why don’t you act like it??
10000%, I never want kids and I'd hate to fall in love with someone who did and have that fundamental incompatibility come up later and have to go through that pain of realisation and a break up.
My cousin was married to a man who probably had these exact thoughts. She married him, had his first child and stayed home to take care of the baby. She gained weight, and I know that asshole made comments on her appearance and told her she needed to wear more makeup. She got some kind of brain cancer (I was young then, so I don’t remember the details) and really came close to dying. The trauma to her body left her and her doctors thinking she’d never have another baby. When she got pregnant, he accused her of tricking him into getting her pregnant a second time. People, talk to partners early on about what the plan is if someone gets pregnant. And if they tell you they don’t want kids, or really want kids, BELIEVE THEM, and tell them what you want honestly too.
@@Hahlen I mean that whoever you are - whether you can have children or can’t - you should be thinking actively about what happens if you or your partner bears a child. Wtf else would I mean? Did you not know two people are responsible for a pregnancy?
The thing is, it's really not that easy. Society tells us from day 1 that happiness only comes from marrying someone and having lots of kids with them. Anything that deviates from that like being childfree or Intention single is seen as selfish and wrong by way too many people. So there are more than enough cases where someone genuinely thinks they want kids only to be in a rude awakening when that wish comes true. Because while we are told that kids are a must for everyone and happiness no one tells New parents about all the downsides that come with kids. People don't tell women about the actual impact on her mind and body. Because everyone knows that a lot more people would think twice before having kids if they did know what it actually meant to have kids.
All my subreddits were taken over by bots. Luckily I made it out, but I lost some good friends when the bots found them, killed them, and replaced them
As a woman with no fertility issues but does NOT want to birth kids, it’s actually one of my top things to mention when I go on a serious date with someone I might partner with! Or even beforehand. Definitely cool to normalize that as an adult looking for a partnership, not just a hookup.
My husband and I have been together since we were 20 and I think I brought up the fact I didn't want kids pretty early in our relationship. When we got engaged 23, I asked him again if he was okay with no having kids because if he was on the fence, bail out now. Didn't want to be like my parents with my admitting she hadn't really thought about having kids.
I understand the whole “u ruined ur moms body” thing and how u should be thankful for all that she’s done and how she gave up her body and life, but no one asked to be born. 9 times out of 10 the mom has the baby with the knowing of “I’m giving my life up for my kid” and no one should feel like they owe their parents anything just for being born, cared for, and raised properly. Anything extra should probably be repaid in someway, but the basics should never be held as some sort of debt. My dad does that shit to me, it sucks, I feel like I have to do everything he says especially with big decisions like school and my future, he acts like I owe it to him but he never gives me and guidance and doesn’t know shit about me anyways to give any actual help or advice. Anyways, just some thoughts
i used to think heavily like this until i actually finished my uni degree and started working full time. he just wants you to be the best person you can be, i am thankful my dad was so pushy with me because i wouldnt be a lawyer right now if he hadnt.
@@loopooillohg Yeah, maybe DON'T encourage shitty parenting. Your dad was pushy with you, but he wasn't controlling. You're clearly happy with being a lawyer, but not everyone would be, and clearly OP doesn't want to be what their dad is pressuring them to be- if your parent doesn't even bother to listen to what you enjoy in life and what you're interested in, then it's not "wanting to be the best person you can be," it's "I want you to be a successful person so I can live in your shoes and take advantage of that." Maybe Ollie Wills should think about what they type before they Ollie Do, and Ollie Dont type that crap again.
@@ItsJC-gu3jz I think there is also a factor that made him not want to talk to the wife. Perhaps the wife was not easy to talk to, but this just proves communication and honesty is key to a relationship. The man was to scared to talk things out, scared that it would ruin the relationship but that’s just what really did ruin it.
@@may3877 I mean at that point he should just leave the relationship honestly if he can't talk to his partner about such things, he seems incredibly narcisstic.
@@may3877 I completely agree. it seems like there was a reason he couldn't get through to her, but despite it all he still wanted to stay married to her. He chose to go alng with it but If he really felt trapped he could have gotten a vasectomy and taken the issue off the table completely.
Istg I just commented the same thing. This sounds harsh but I low-key hope he leaves and just pays child support. Having no dad absolutely sucks, but have a dad around who genuinely hates you and wishes you'd never been born? That's going to fuck anyone up to no end. Those poor kids. She sounds loving at least. Maybe she could find a man who actually cares if he were out of the picture.
@@islabee94 can confirm: have a dad who fucking hates me. i'd rather have no dad but there's losers in society who think having "any" male figure is good. it's stupid as shit lol
He posted this rant because he expected people to support him and since he has such a low self-esteem he needed the motivation of random ass people to actually just abandon his family
@@dimthecat9418 you literally asked 😂😂 why does he think he was about to abandon his family? The title is literally saying he wants to leave his wife AND kids
As a woman who never wants kids, I always ask on the first date now. My first long term relationship couldn’t last because he eventually wanted kids. Nope. Never gonna happen. It was a fun 4 years but we might as well cut our losses here because it’s a dead end road.
my parents tried for ten years to have me :/ at least i know i was wanted but that sounds so hard to go through, i don’t think i would’ve been able to try for so long if i were in their situation
Definitely is. He's clearly afraid of working through the discomfort of being honest with her, which is why he's spending all his time avoiding her and went along with her plan to have a kid. So now he thinks the best way to avoid his own discomfort is by shoving it all on his wife and kids by just dipping out. It's irresponsibility at it's finest and he's already fucking up his kids' lives.
yeah most people do that because society pressures them into believing that having a wife/husband and kids is the best thing in the world and will make you and your marriage happy. because of this, they dont tell their partner they dont want kids because they're worried it will upset them or that their "soulmate" will divorce them. most people are manipulated into having kids.
he's the type of dude to say "i'm not into politics" or "i''d say i'm pretty Liberal" when actually he's actually a Conservative, but he knows that doesn't get him laid
I love the vibe that Noel is trying to create here it feels like an old-ish intimate comedy club out of a movie with the jazz in the background, people talking back and forth, people talking back and forth and noel's mic just talking into your ear with the whole youtube touch, i absolutely love what he's doing
It made me so happy hearing that Noel does understand how awful people like that guy are and how terribly women and others are treated and affected by them. There are far too many misogynists who go around saying this stuff like it's talk about the weather, and the internet really shines light on that stuff, but I'm glad we're getting more light on those good, understanding people. Thank you, Noel ♥️
Why do you think this guy is misogynistic? I feel like his love just faded far past what was normal and now he wants a divorce. His worst behavior here is not communicating he didn’t want kids
@Dim the Cat seriously? you don’t see what’s misogynistic about this guy? the way he talks about other women, like the other moms in his town, REEKS of misogyny. it’s pretty obvious that he really looks down on women in general
@@skarut1485 sorry what did he say about the other women in his town? He seems to just be disappointed with his wife in general and what he says often overlaps with misogyny yeah. He’s probably a cis straight guy in his forty’s so it’s probable his pretty misogynistic in general. I’m just confused about what in this post makes you think he has some exceptional hatred of women when he just had some rude feelings about his wife
I'd rather my father leave my life entirely than stick around knowing he hates me. The damage that causes is nearly impossible to heal from sometimes. More men should get vasectomies. They're reversible. If you don't want kids - don't make them. That simple.
Okay this is random, but I’ll never forget a few years ago a mutual from highschool posted her new born and the caption was “my baby is going to grow up so sexy” That night my ass had been drinking a few glasses on wine and I comment “who the hell calls their baby sexy” OMG everyone jumped down my throat and I randomly think about it sometimes like ummmm WAS I WRONG 😭😂 It’s was Facebook though, so what did I expect lol
@@kira-jn2ih and I’m a mom, I was a mom then, I was so freaked out by it 😭😆 people are so damn weird - especially some moms with their sons (which is what this was and I have a son too).
I feel like they should definitely get a divorce and the wife should get full custody while this guy sits in his corner of the world and eats his ham sandwich. It might be hard for her but it's better than living with someone who not only despises you and is the father of your children but also hates those children he fathered and didn't have the guts to have an honest conversation about it rather going on reddit and acting like an ungrateful asshole.
I consider it very important to talk about children and other serious topics during a first date. It can be scary, but it can also avoid falling for someone who could ruin your future. Im a woman and i dont want children. One time i had a date with a guy, I told him that I was looking for a serious relationship and that I didn't want kids, like, ever. He said "I can change that" and winked at me. He really tried to convince me that I would change my mind. After that night, I blocked him. :'))
Same expérience. I say very early on what I look for and want or don't want (marriage absolutely, kids never). Multiple people said: just wait for the right guy, you'll change your mind. No tf i won't. He won't be the right guy obviously if he wants to convince me of something that is a hard no for me.
@@lauratroy13 Truuuuuue. "just wait for the right guy, you'll change your mind." I hate that phrase. Why can't people accept that it's okay not to want a child? A child can ruin a career and dreams, no thank you
@@lauratroy13 I’ve been saying I don’t want kids for like 8 years and my mom still says “maybe you’ll change your mind when you’re older 😁” like no mother I will not
@@bananochloe because for the past hundreds of years or more it was the expectation to just get married young and have a baby in your 20’s, anything different was seen as weird or strange. At least that was seen as what women were supposed to do, be a wife and mom and that’s it. :/ and many people unfortunately still think that’s how you should spend your life. I swear every time someone brings up being childfree or not wanting kids, others always go “Who will take of you when you’re old?” Or “You’ll be so lonely when you’re old” like wtf you don’t have kids just they’ll be your caretaker when you’re elderly ugh 🙄
Having kids just shouldn't be the norm. It is NEVER the kids fault, let's not forget that, but the fact that people are *expected* to have children at some point, creates so many *miserable* people. Miserable parents, miserable kids. I feel like the default societal norm should be to not have children, and then the ones who want it have to *actively* want it. Because so many people go into parenthood passively. *EDIT: I'm sick of y'all, stop replying to this , especially if dumb and can't think critically
@@BarbieDreamDungeon I only disagree with this, because 'mentally unfit' is a term very often conflated with 'deviant' when left to society to decide (think homosexuality, transgenderism being until very recently deemed illness, or even the current controversial diagnoses of ADHD and autism). I think mental unwellness doesn't necessarily mean someone can't be a good parent. I don't want to sound cliched, but having "love" in the heart doesn't count for nothing when it comes to this topic. A depressed adult who has been thru traumatic shit in the past can be full of love and raise a well rounded child, with the right support. A parent can be perfectly well, but have nothing but contempt for a child, due to circumstance. Ultimately, for those who want kids and are mentally unwell, I don't think the solution is to *stop* them from having them, it's to provide real, substantive support. That's another thing that grinds my gears. Raising children should be the job of a whole community of people, but it's put on the shoulders of one or two. If more people realised that they didn't have to have them, then support for parents wouldn't be stretched so thin. And I genuinely believe that most people would be much happier in a support role of raising a child.
@@BarbieDreamDungeon that's true that's true.its also a very sticky topic, you know- restricting a freedom based on what someone *might* do in the future (I just watched psycho pass lol). Again, I'd fall back on the 'support' thing, but not just for the parents, for the child. Child protection as it is in this country is broken. If more people decided not to have kids, that system could be much more robust, and if a parent is flagged as a potential abuser (so if we go with your idea of screening potential parents, but without the "u can't have kids for this or that reason" rule), there could be more more *substantive* systems in place to whisk that child away at the first sign of anything. Especially if there was a community of 'sub-parents' around who actually cared for the child's welfare.
There's a good point in what you say. On the first date with my now-husband, I went ahead and talked about my future goals (specifically marriage and kids). I figured if he didn't agree he could just go ahead and move on and we wouldn't have to go through the heartache of breaking up over it later. Happily, that decision worked out for both of us. We've been married 21 years (and counting) and have 4 wonderful kids. Things aren't always sunshine and roses, but we stick together and support each other through all the hard times. It's silly to stigmatize talking about these things early in a relationship. They're important life decisions/goals and can be deal breakers for many (most?) people. I'd encourage anyone in a relationship to talk about money, kids, marriage, and religion early on. It's important stuff.
I'm going insane because Noel literally just ended up describing the plot of an existing dystopian book (unwind) where parents can just kill their kids if they want
Noel: i get why people are mean to their kids. It should be more rare that parents love you, you ruined their lives. People with abusive parents: aight, we know.
yeah Noel kinda missing the whole they decided to have kids part like I'm never having kids because I know I would never be able to give up my dream for them . it's not funny at all to justify abuse because pregnancy is hard
loool it stung a little but i think it’s okay for comedy to do that sometimes. it can’t be a padded wall for all of us, or i think it’d lose its edges as an art form, y’know what i mean? it can’t be okay to poke fun at some stuff but not others(within reason), it’s all good-i think it’s our responsibility to get our own shit straight in that way
It's actually really important to discuss these big life choices with your partner early on, for both sides. I've seen and heard of relationships where the dude was BEGGING to have kids but the girl didn't want any. The same goes for marriage, lifestyle, jobs, schedules, living arrangements, etc. It's all important to, at minimum, have a mutual understanding of how the other person works and lives so you can either A) adapt if at all possible or B) move on before you lose 2 decades with someone you aren't compatible with.
He dunks on his wife for comparing herself to unrealistic portrayels of life on instagram, but also fully believes that all his childless friends have perfect lives with no problems lmao.
when the guy said the thing about not liking his wife being motherly, points to his own shit with insecurities around his maternal figure, if only people went to therapy
or maybe just maybe...its because he hates kids and didn't want to be a father. just like he said a million times in his post. why cant humans just accept that alot of people are disgusted by the idea of having kids and having a child would mentally fuck them up.
@@lashay7684 Then he shouldn't have become a father, simple. Why is he married to someone that want kids in the first place? Why are you defending this awful narcissistic man?
@@aspannas no they are not defending him, they are saying there are functional adults out there that dont feel shit when they see a gremilin, and it should be normalized , having children is a developmental task that not everyone needs to oblige to and you dont need to psychoanalyze the shit out of someone just cuz they dont fit the norm. Other than that, the guy sounds awful really.
@@lashay7684 who tf held a gun to his head and asked him to become a father? yeah people and society is pushy about kids and marriage but don't be a pussy and ruin somebody else's life because you're too much of a coward to live life the way you want.
My wife and I have had fertility issues, and it always hurts to see when people have kids they don't want. Thankfully we have one, but I always imagined we'd have 2, and it really sucks when people ask when we'll have another one, and its looking like that'll never happen. PSA, don't ask people questions like that, it's none of your business and you don't know what they're going through.
lol it kinda relates to the thing Noel was saying where people who don't want kids, get kids very easily but people who want kids, struggle to have kids. I've seen so many people try to have kids but sadly its difficult for them. Funny how this works.
as a woman i relate to this redditor. i dont have kids and i dont want any, but if someone pressured me to have kids or if my parents werent liberal when it came to marriage and kids then i wouldve ended up like him.
@@lashay7684 bro, bro. Why are you so adamant about sympathizing and building sympathy with the obvious POS in this scenario? You have gone into so many comments replying with "I feel bad for him, he's a victim and people are calling him bad uwu." I hate to break it to you, but he is not a victim. If he didn't want kids, this goes for you too, DO NOT HAVE ANY, ITS YOUR BODY. This thing from reddit deserves no sympathy. Especially not from women. The only morons sympathizing with him are equal to him in idiocy and bigotry. Anyway have a nice day.
How does this man think his wife got pregnant? How can you be THAT oblivious to the fact that communication is key?? Like, had this man just brought up that he doesn’t want kids beforehand, he probably wouldn’t be here right now. This is his own doing and he’s taking it out in his wife and kids??
Noel's point about being open on a first date is a good idea, it's just that it's thinking long-term rather than short-term, which many if not most people would rather deal with or think about "later". It's like procrastinating your life choices, and procrastination is easy.
4:10 “this is tricky territory, because now what we’re talking about is grading baby appearances” Anyone remember Noel’s old vine saying they should add a button on facebook that says someone’s baby is ugly? 😂
The way he says “emotional blackmail” makes me think that they agreed to have children early on in their relationship, but only after getting her to commit (get married) did he decide that he didn’t want them anymore. Her “emotional blackmail” is just saying “you said we’d have kids, I want kids, so if I cant have them with you I'll leave”. Like it's not "emotional blackmail" if you call your partner out on being a liar lol
The way he said "emotional blackmail" makes me think that the guy loved her too much to leave her when she made him to do something he doesn't want to. It makes me think she could've said "you'll give me a baby, if you really loved me" or "She will look for other ways if he didn't do it" and he didn't have a choice to save his marriage. See it's easy to make up scenarios isn't it?
I’m glad you brought this up. I left a similar comment under someone else’s, but I honestly think there’s a chance there was no “emotional blackmail” at all. I’ve noticed a lot of men tend to say this to deflect blame, and will then push the responsibility of a big decision (like having a child) into their partner because they wanted one. Essentially, being like “YOU asked for this, YOU forced me,” as if they weren’t also involved in granting their partner that desire.
I just gotta say, that ficus is so happy. It looks like it needs a grow light, it’s a little droopy, but otherwise looks pretty happy. Maybe a little more water/fertilizer and it would be leafing more! But otherwise a very long lasting plant! I’m proud!
*slow claps and stands up* I gotta say I don’t always agree with Noel but when I do I seriously DO. What in this man’s right mind thought any of this was okay?? 😭
Because, like Noel said, he's completely self-centered. It doesn't look like he has any ability to see things from her perspective, or even consider how she feels about anything. For someone so narrow-minded, their wants and needs are the only things that matter at all. Everyone else, they won't even notice. That leads to entitlement, where he thinks he deserves something from her, and he's clearly upset that he's not getting that from her. But he's also clearly afraid of the discomfort that comes with being honest or else he would have talked to her about how he feels instead of hiding from her at work.
Someone was just talking to me about having kids, they told that having kids made them a better person. I've seen some people become better after having kids and some people that seem worse
i feel it's gonna make genuinely good people even better and bad ones worse. Kinda like when you put a person in a stressful, difficult situation and depending on the choice(s) they make you find out who they really are
I don't know who needs to hear this, but: parents can still f**k after having kids. Childbirth and parenting ruins nothing that good communication and a can-do attitude can't fix. Stay safe out there!
Mine definitely did/probably still do, I’ve got 6 younger siblings! And none of us are twins or triplets, either…..Apparently they really find each other attractive lol
I think asking the “kids” question is great on the first date. It’s just always great to know where people stand on these very important issues that can make or break a relationship. If they want kids and you don’t then walk away man. Or else you’ll be this guy.
He said in the post itself that the baby is a result of emotional blackmail from her. I don't know why everyone conveniently skips that and is simply pissed at him for disliking his new role. I like ripping on deadbeats as much as anyone else, but being baby-trapped by a man is my worst nightmare.
I don't see anything wrong with asking tough questions on a first date or, even better, before the date (like in the talking phase). I think it can prevent a lot of hurt and overly compromising your life goals for someone else
I don't get how you can say shit like this about your kid man. I had my first son at 18 still in high school, I wasn't ready for a kid, but I sure as fuck quit all the dumb stuff I was doing and made countless sacrifices because there's an unexplainable feeling that happens seeing your baby for the first time, or seeing your baby discover the world for the first time, or seeing them figure skills out like talking. Like it's easily the most rewarding thing that's ever happened to me, I just don't get it. This post honestly made me sad as shit. Edit: To clarify, I'm referring to the reddit post, not jokes Noel was making lol.
I never expected that I would find a justification to outwardly advocate for this, but I _really_ hope she had an affair or committed any kind of infidelity and neither of the two children are his.
Theres a lot of guys out there that feel this way and worse, they leave their family in a terrible situation and then lie to everyone that will listen and make it the families fault that they left
honestly that's a good idea because there are still ppl who want kids and the last thing you want to do is end up with a gremlin spouse who hates the thought of kids at all
Personally for me its whats causing me to get my life together, its scary but honestly the best thing that could have ever happened to me. everyone has a different experience
Honestly Noel makes a great point about having that baby talk early. So many people don't have that talk and fall in love and then all of a sudden realize that one of them doesn't want kids. For a person that wants kids this is HUGE deal! So yeah have those tough talks in the beginning especially if you are dating to find the one. If you are just casually doing whatever then yolo but if you start to think it may be more then you need to have that conversation no matter what side you're on.
There's a book called "Unwind" thats actually about kids being killed, and used for their organs at the age of 13, if the parents choose, as a way to mediate pro life and pro choice ppl. It's actually a great book. Check it out. Here's the synopsis: Unwind is a dystopian thriller by Neal Shusterman that follows three teens on the run from a government that believes “unwinding,” or body harvesting, is an alternate solution to abortions and unwanted teens. Unwinding is also a choice for extremely religious families who want to tithe one of their teens.
@@may3877 no problem compa 🤙 Another great book is called "Boot Camp". The ending is actually chilling, well to me it is. I don't wanna spoil it too much and give the whole scene, BUT the kid basically ends up becoming institutionalized (kinda like Stockholm syndrome type shit), and the parents don't realize until the very end when they come to get their child (after they put him there to begin with). Basically when it's too late....And that's how it ends....
I remember that series; We read it for our book club. There were four in total, including a book dedicated to side stories for secondary characters from the main storyline.
Man I love these videos because aside from the jokes there's an element of sincerity. I really agree it should be a normal thing to just bring up kids/no kids on the first date. Ultimately it's such an important thing for a relationship.
as a father of two (3yr and 5yr) I am thankful I have a partner that we can back away from tough moments and stress of being a parent to come up with a game plan to improve our relationship. totally agree vetting your partner with hard hitting questions.
Noel! there was a clip posted where you talked about Missing Murdered Indigenous Womxn and i wanted to thank you for bringing that to light. it made my whole day
![เปิดบ้าน โคตรสวย ป๋องกพล รู้จักตั้งนาน เพิ่งรู้ว่ารวย!!! l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tmgCF_2HfYI/mqdefault.jpg)
I feel so sorry for this man’s kids, he can’t even refer to them as his own children
This sounds harsh but I low-key hope he leaves and just pays child support. Having no dad absolutely sucks, but have a dad around who genuinely hates you and wishes you'd never been born? That's going to fuck anyone up to no end. Those poor kids. She sounds loving at least. Maybe she could find a man who actually cares if he were out of the picture.
@@islabee94 As sad as that sounds, I 100% agree.
@@islabee94 It's not even harsh it's just true, they deserve better. Hopefully he goes that route and hopefully the kids will realize eventually that they were much better off for it
@@islabee94 Yes. I sometimes wish my mom had left. She didn't want kids but wanted to please my dad, she resented us so much... That kinda resentment always leads to emotional and/or physical abuse. Growing up feeling unwanted is worse than feeling wanted by a single parent.
@@aldranzam3456 Same situation but swapped parents. I wish every day that my dad left instead of the extreme abuse we (me and my family) had to deal with every day for 15 years.
I love how this dude completely refuses to control of his life. At no point did he think “Hmm, having kids is a major life decision. Maybe I should have an open and honest discussion with my wife before just fucking GOING ALONG WITH IT!!” Its like he’s never considered the option of divorce, which is way better than taking care of TWO children for 18+ years that you don’t want.
Right, this guy never wanted kids. So why have them? Find someone who doesn’t want them. Just ridiculous.
We should also normalise being childfree. This guy pressured himself into a position where the only outcome was resentment. But he probably grew up with a conservative ideal. Remember people, putting up boundaries also stops you from hurting people.
Yeah I mean if he sticks around he's gonna ruin those fuckin kids man. It's so unfortunate.
Why do you think he literally never talked to his wife about it? How do you know that? For all you know he could’ve made his concerns clear and she might’ve disregarded them
@@dimthecat9418 I know it’s easier said than done, but he could have left at that point. Dude takes no accountability
“i refuse to entertain social media” he says as he airs out his entire marriage and wife on reddit
*anonymously
I know no one will agree but personally I think it’s sooo fucking sad to air out ur whole life on Reddit of all places (anon or not) when you have an entire whole ass family. It’s like... go talk to your family
@@Sadaaaaf no i agree like go see a family therapist or something no person wants to read about your marriage issues
@@kattywumpas yeah like seriously they need to get off their phone
@@Sadaaaaf no bc 99% of the answers to shit on reddit is as simple as “talk to your partner” or “go to therapy either as a family or alone”
Imagine giving birth and the doctor goes: “Damn. That’s a solid F-tier baby.” 💀😭
This guy is living proof that you can get married and have two kids and yet still be an incel. Basically the dude fell in love with the first date version of his wife and could never bring himself to value and embrace her as a human being with flaws and ugliness and insecurities, so now he is neglecting her and his children and making his dissatisfaction their problem.
Accurate!
I would disagree. He loved the wife before she was a mom, of a kid he clearly never wanted. The mistake here was that he didn't talked, didn't said no to having a kid and now everyone has to suffer for his poor choices
@@lauratroy13 I refuse to believe she wanted kids so badly and never discussed it before they got married. It sounds like she did and he said great and then hoped it would go away.
Honestly to me it was the wife that was neglecting him. To him she changed in a way that he didn’t love anymore. She made him feel unimportant. It’s fine for people to grow but here it sounds like it was more apart then together.
@@biguattipoptropica can be, but at the point where she said she wants to get pregnant now he could have said no
I think divorce is way better than staying with someone you secretly despise. I can't imagine being with someone I hate that much
Welcome to like half of gen x and pretty much all boomer marriages
Divorce is definitely better lmao. Like there’s such a weird stigma around it yet somehow staying with someone you loathe is… “better?” Wild.
theres a difference between leaving and divorce- the title has the negative connotation that hes going to abandon his kids
how can you go from loving someone to hating them this much, im almost certain he's not normal
in these sorts of situations, it’s important to put your children’s needs above your own, because they suffer the most
I came out the womb PURPLE and SWOLLEN because my mom's -you know what- beat the absolute fuck out of me on the way out, fair enough, I deserved it. My dad was in tears over me anyway, he kept saying "she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life." he sat there staring at me for days, and my mom was like "eehh her eyes are swollen shut?? I'm sure she'll be cute in like two weeks... but she looks like a soggy raisin" The hormones hit my dad HARD but this dude is totally devoid of paternal instinct. 😬
that was a wholesome read after hearing that reddit story lol
@@flo4606 Lmao yeah, I mean my parents are divorced but my dad would never abandon me!
Kind of hard to want to be anybody’s parent when you don’t love the person you made it with anymore and can’t bring yourself to find it cute
I mean I get. Dudes just happy to see you came out healthy. Relatively
9 long months of waiting and now you're here. Still that visual IS HOLARIOS
@@ItsMe-cp8xc are you sympathizing w the incel?
It's so surreal to me that some people can get MARRIED without ever once talking about the possibility of kids. I've had this kind of talk with so many of my friends and even random people, it's a nice topic to discuss about and you learn a lot about other people, I could never imagine dating someone and not talking about that at some point. I had this talk even with a girlfriend I had for 2 years and we were a lesbian couple, no accidental babies could happen there lol
did noone else hear the bit where he was emotionally blackmailed orr...? she knew that
@@screaminghorse8818 by emotionally blackmailed I would imagine she gave him the ultimatum of having kids or divorce.
@@screaminghorse8818I’m assuming she said “I don’t want to be in a relationship without kids so either imma leave for my needs or we can have kids it’s up to you” which isn’t bad? Like it’s normal to leave if y’all don’t have the same values. But I really wonder what he meant
@@screaminghorse8818you genuinely cannot tell me you think this guy is telling the truth
@@ohnoithinkimcatchingfeelings im not spreading misinformation nor negativity by saying ME and MY EX couldn't have kids lol! if you and your gf can then good for you but im not talking abt ya!
To ANYONE who thinks having a kid will save a marriage/relationship. IT DOESNT! Trust me. Well I mean I’m only 22 but I was the product of this. Idk what they were thinking. At least I have Noel’s videos to look forward to.
Who tf still thinks adding more responsibility and stress is a good thing?
@@iheartjbgccb idk man
“idk what they were thinking” that is so fucking real cus im the same and idk why they did that either
Moral of the story: If we are honest about our desires we can find compatible partners and have happy, fullfilling relationships. And if we are dishonest, we are hurting everyone involved.
Its so hard sometimes 😪 some people can't handle news well
I think we have to be brave enough to expect discomfort. The consquences for not being honest in relationships are too high.
yupyupyup
Issue is in the beginning no one is honest
@@dianavasenko7570 Precisely!
This is written by one of those dudes that sees Patrick Bateman as the ultimate sigma male to look up to.
@@arunkeshavadas7171 ...He said he can't talk to his friends cause they "wouldn't understand" him bitching about his wife,,,and also he judged the looks of a literal baby ?
@@arunkeshavadas7171 he said about the people who look up to Patrick Bateman
The irony in this is that the movie was a parody of those people
@@arunkeshavadas7171 found the guy who looks up to him
Bateman is the ultimate sigma, he just also so happens to be the ultimate loser
Why dont men who obviously do not want kids not get a vasectomy?
damn that's a good idea
True, but its actually hard to get one because some doctors refuse to give younger guys vasectomies. My gf works at a urology clinic and both the doctors there do that according to her
Excellent point. Birth control is not just a woman's domain
@@V3inmistress they tried male birth control pills once but guess what? The men got similar birth control symptoms to what women get. So they stopped making it 💀 Guess women can handle it just fine and suffer but men don’t have to
@@V3inmistress never was, condoms exist too
I dont know whats worse, leaving at the sign of child 2
or having a father in your life that despises you and you can't tell why
Honestly, it’s probably better if he leaves. Kids can tell when the parents are resentful, because it leaks into the parenting style no matter how much they try to hide it. The kid’s probably better off with a single mother than both parents and one of them being a total shithead. At least then, his mom has the chance to find someone better.
Honestly Noel is so right about the "what would you do if we got pregnant?" question. I asked my boyfriend that question (specifically about an unplanned pregnancy) a couple months into our relationship and at first he said he would want to keep it but I expressed that I was no where near ready to have a child so my choice would not be to keep it. We had a talk about it and came to the conclusion together that we would not want to keep any pregnancies until we experienced more of life and could financially support a family. It was a great talk to have with him and let us know a lot more about each other and our future plans very early in our relationship which made me very secure with our relationship. Plus I feel like talking about whether or not you want kids should happen before there is even a relationship if you're dating for long term 💀
What Noel says about people keeping secrets is so true. A year into a relationship with my ex, who I’d known for a year prior to that as a friend, he told me he had a daughter who he’d abandoned. Definitely worth discussing stuff like kids (or what would you do if you accidentally knocked me up) early on. Who cares if it seems crazy. You definitely want to know who you’re sleeping with.
The issue is that people may lie to keep you around. It's rough out here
A line I came up with that I like to use is “before they let you on the plane, you gotta check your baggage.” Kinda goes without saying but, same for relationships; each person has to know what the other’s bringing on before they can make a decision that that’s someone they want to share a part of their life with.
The fact you knew him for a year prior. Damn.
this reminds me of how my own mother did not tell me how she almost had kids and was married to a man who died before my father until i was like 14. didnt really need to be known fdr me but that is like a big detail.
I’ve had friends for years who I didn’t know had kids and was shocked.. I can’t imagine dating someone and not telling them you have a child 💀
Noel was hamming it up but i think he has a point about the children talk shouldn't be so taboo, and it needs to come up before things get too serious. People getting married without discussing this shit. And never assume the party that says they don't want kids "will change". Disappointment will insue or a lifetime of resentment
wanted to say i love your profile picture!
@@munchiekins thank you!!!! I think the "violent moomin" genre speaks to us all
I think the idea that people who don't want anything to do with societal norms (having kids, getting married, and other heteronormative concepts of 'right')"will change" is exactly the environment that creates people like this Redditer. Spending your whole life being told the way you naturally are is inherently wrong is a great way to brood resentment and distrust in yourself. Noel calls this guy stubborn, and I think that's the perfect descriptor! Despite having little-to-no trust in his own morals, he doesn't believe he's allowed to live any other way, and that's why he refuses to set things right. He probably met his wife and preemptively designated her as his future wife because of this mold he's trying so hard to fit into. Yes he's an asshole, and I have no sympathy for him, but, like you said, people need to get into the nitty-gritty honest parts of themselves when seeking serious relationships because they might lose or gain something irreversible.
@@Patricia-b very much so lol
@@angelinemissys4876 yes I agree!
sometimes i just wonder what the fuck people even talk about with their partners. my partner and i both knew the other didn’t want kids basically a month or 2 in. how can you get this damn long and not be on the same page?
Many people think that their partner will change their mind over time, but this is usually not the case. I had to end a five-year relationship for many reasons and one of them was my ex thought I would change my mind about having a child and I thought he would accept that I didn't want a child. It was weird
Exactly, like, do they just not talk to each other? Do they sit in silence? What do couples talk about to not know anything about each other??
Took us like 3 months
Your profile pic is horrible
i get the impression that these people rarely if ever talk about the really important stuff, that they mostly talk *around* each other and cling to the very specific image they have of the other person. that's my theory anyway
one time I read a parenting book from the 50s and it literally said “many parents may find their newborn baby’s appearance to be disappointing since they’ve _never seen one before”_
So what I learned is that new babies were ugly even before the internet. Also hey man you had this baby _on purpose_ so why don’t you act like it??
Why do people even care if babies are ugly
@@akiraholland457 well if it emerges from one's own body, the birthgiver might find unexpected ugliness to be concerning
@@moonriverinc7896 nah
@@akiraholland457 sorry I’m just an empath
I’ve always thought “Do you want kids?” should be a first date question
10000%, I never want kids and I'd hate to fall in love with someone who did and have that fundamental incompatibility come up later and have to go through that pain of realisation and a break up.
Maybe not first date but ya
My cousin was married to a man who probably had these exact thoughts. She married him, had his first child and stayed home to take care of the baby. She gained weight, and I know that asshole made comments on her appearance and told her she needed to wear more makeup. She got some kind of brain cancer (I was young then, so I don’t remember the details) and really came close to dying. The trauma to her body left her and her doctors thinking she’d never have another baby. When she got pregnant, he accused her of tricking him into getting her pregnant a second time.
People, talk to partners early on about what the plan is if someone gets pregnant. And if they tell you they don’t want kids, or really want kids, BELIEVE THEM, and tell them what you want honestly too.
Suddenly, I’m not upset about being single. Thanks for curing me
Tf you mean “if SOMEONE gets pregnant”?
@@Hahlen I mean that whoever you are - whether you can have children or can’t - you should be thinking actively about what happens if you or your partner bears a child. Wtf else would I mean? Did you not know two people are responsible for a pregnancy?
The thing is, it's really not that easy. Society tells us from day 1 that happiness only comes from marrying someone and having lots of kids with them. Anything that deviates from that like being childfree or Intention single is seen as selfish and wrong by way too many people.
So there are more than enough cases where someone genuinely thinks they want kids only to be in a rude awakening when that wish comes true. Because while we are told that kids are a must for everyone and happiness no one tells New parents about all the downsides that come with kids. People don't tell women about the actual impact on her mind and body. Because everyone knows that a lot more people would think twice before having kids if they did know what it actually meant to have kids.
my aunt married a guy like that too
I know this is clickbait because there are no humans on Reddit
Only horny/depressed reptilians.
Which came first, the comment or the pfp?
All my subreddits were taken over by bots. Luckily I made it out, but I lost some good friends when the bots found them, killed them, and replaced them
Hoomans*
@@mhretabbirhanu3031 ikr
As a woman with no fertility issues but does NOT want to birth kids, it’s actually one of my top things to mention when I go on a serious date with someone I might partner with! Or even beforehand. Definitely cool to normalize that as an adult looking for a partnership, not just a hookup.
My husband and I have been together since we were 20 and I think I brought up the fact I didn't want kids pretty early in our relationship. When we got engaged 23, I asked him again if he was okay with no having kids because if he was on the fence, bail out now. Didn't want to be like my parents with my admitting she hadn't really thought about having kids.
Facts
I understand the whole “u ruined ur moms body” thing and how u should be thankful for all that she’s done and how she gave up her body and life, but no one asked to be born. 9 times out of 10 the mom has the baby with the knowing of “I’m giving my life up for my kid” and no one should feel like they owe their parents anything just for being born, cared for, and raised properly. Anything extra should probably be repaid in someway, but the basics should never be held as some sort of debt. My dad does that shit to me, it sucks, I feel like I have to do everything he says especially with big decisions like school and my future, he acts like I owe it to him but he never gives me and guidance and doesn’t know shit about me anyways to give any actual help or advice. Anyways, just some thoughts
agreed. we didn't ask to be here.
Spittin' highkey 🗣️💯
My mother is the same, she will always say I'm only doing this for you because you're going to take care of me when I'm old and pay it back
i used to think heavily like this until i actually finished my uni degree and started working full time. he just wants you to be the best person you can be, i am thankful my dad was so pushy with me because i wouldnt be a lawyer right now if he hadnt.
@@loopooillohg Yeah, maybe DON'T encourage shitty parenting. Your dad was pushy with you, but he wasn't controlling. You're clearly happy with being a lawyer, but not everyone would be, and clearly OP doesn't want to be what their dad is pressuring them to be- if your parent doesn't even bother to listen to what you enjoy in life and what you're interested in, then it's not "wanting to be the best person you can be," it's "I want you to be a successful person so I can live in your shoes and take advantage of that."
Maybe Ollie Wills should think about what they type before they Ollie Do, and Ollie Dont type that crap again.
Noel’s speech on how it should be more rare for parents to love their kids completely erased my mommy issues. Thank you Noel, I needed that
If he hated the idea of having a kid so much the least he could do is get a vasectomy and not tell her. THE VERY LEAST.
or hear me out, just be honest and talk with her🤷🏽♀️
@@ItsJC-gu3jz I think there is also a factor that made him not want to talk to the wife. Perhaps the wife was not easy to talk to, but this just proves communication and honesty is key to a relationship. The man was to scared to talk things out, scared that it would ruin the relationship but that’s just what really did ruin it.
@@may3877 very true, i just feel bad for his kids. They have such a shitty dad 😭
@@may3877 I mean at that point he should just leave the relationship honestly if he can't talk to his partner about such things, he seems incredibly narcisstic.
@@may3877 I completely agree. it seems like there was a reason he couldn't get through to her, but despite it all he still wanted to stay married to her. He chose to go alng with it but If he really felt trapped he could have gotten a vasectomy and taken the issue off the table completely.
You know what, maybe he should leave. That would be doing his family a favor.
i dunno, single mother currently pregnant with no income is a tough one to navigate. i guess there's alimony
"a favor" would you care to elaborate? His wife only sees him as a sperm donor, he should leave for himself.
@@johnnyapplesmith you agree with him? That’s embarrassing 💀
Istg I just commented the same thing.
This sounds harsh but I low-key hope he leaves and just pays child support. Having no dad absolutely sucks, but have a dad around who genuinely hates you and wishes you'd never been born? That's going to fuck anyone up to no end. Those poor kids. She sounds loving at least. Maybe she could find a man who actually cares if he were out of the picture.
@@islabee94 can confirm: have a dad who fucking hates me. i'd rather have no dad but there's losers in society who think having "any" male figure is good. it's stupid as shit lol
He posted this rant because he expected people to support him and since he has such a low self-esteem he needed the motivation of random ass people to actually just abandon his family
Why do you think he was about to abandon his family and not just have a normal divorce?
@@dimthecat9418 would still have to see the kids or support them in some way in a divorce
@@bananabrain2996 what did your comment add to the conversation
@@dimthecat9418 I was just explaining why someone might think he would abandon them rather than get a divorce
@@dimthecat9418 you literally asked 😂😂 why does he think he was about to abandon his family? The title is literally saying he wants to leave his wife AND kids
As a woman who never wants kids, I always ask on the first date now. My first long term relationship couldn’t last because he eventually wanted kids. Nope. Never gonna happen. It was a fun 4 years but we might as well cut our losses here because it’s a dead end road.
In todays times with the abortion bans happening, it makes perfect sense to ask these kinds of questions before hooking up with someone .
Couples will try and try for months for kids and have no luck and then there's this guy
It’s me i’m couples and this enrages me 😭😭😭
my uncle and his wife kept trying for 13 years lol, in 2019 they had the most beautiful twins
*years
They don’t start to consider fertility problems until 2 years of trying
my parents tried for ten years to have me :/ at least i know i was wanted but that sounds so hard to go through, i don’t think i would’ve been able to try for so long if i were in their situation
If he was smart he would have sex with her on the days that she isn’t ovulating.
hes probably the type of dude to say he did want kids just to agree with her for her to like him even though he didnt want any
Definitely is. He's clearly afraid of working through the discomfort of being honest with her, which is why he's spending all his time avoiding her and went along with her plan to have a kid. So now he thinks the best way to avoid his own discomfort is by shoving it all on his wife and kids by just dipping out. It's irresponsibility at it's finest and he's already fucking up his kids' lives.
yeah most people do that because society pressures them into believing that having a wife/husband and kids is the best thing in the world and will make you and your marriage happy. because of this, they dont tell their partner they dont want kids because they're worried it will upset them or that their "soulmate" will divorce them.
most people are manipulated into having kids.
he's the type of dude to say "i'm not into politics" or "i''d say i'm pretty Liberal" when actually he's actually a Conservative, but he knows that doesn't get him laid
I love the vibe that Noel is trying to create here it feels like an old-ish intimate comedy club out of a movie with the jazz in the background, people talking back and forth, people talking back and forth and noel's mic just talking into your ear with the whole youtube touch, i absolutely love what he's doing
Right, he is naturally funny
It made me so happy hearing that Noel does understand how awful people like that guy are and how terribly women and others are treated and affected by them. There are far too many misogynists who go around saying this stuff like it's talk about the weather, and the internet really shines light on that stuff, but I'm glad we're getting more light on those good, understanding people. Thank you, Noel ♥️
Why do you think this guy is misogynistic? I feel like his love just faded far past what was normal and now he wants a divorce. His worst behavior here is not communicating he didn’t want kids
@Dim the Cat seriously? you don’t see what’s misogynistic about this guy? the way he talks about other women, like the other moms in his town, REEKS of misogyny. it’s pretty obvious that he really looks down on women in general
@@skarut1485 sorry what did he say about the other women in his town? He seems to just be disappointed with his wife in general and what he says often overlaps with misogyny yeah. He’s probably a cis straight guy in his forty’s so it’s probable his pretty misogynistic in general. I’m just confused about what in this post makes you think he has some exceptional hatred of women when he just had some rude feelings about his wife
@@dimthecat9418 how did you miss what he literally wrote and what was read....
@@mandark1727 read it back to me
I'd rather my father leave my life entirely than stick around knowing he hates me. The damage that causes is nearly impossible to heal from sometimes. More men should get vasectomies. They're reversible. If you don't want kids - don't make them. That simple.
"Worst human on reddit"
Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?
Nice joke and refrence
😂😂 Reddit is garbage
Dude is the most narcissistic and self centered human alive.
100%
Hey come on, Noel isn't that bad
@@zg4705 damnnnnn, don’t do him like that ☠️
No, that would be my ex.
@@jennab.6723 I'm so sorry. Hope you're doing much better.
Okay this is random, but I’ll never forget a few years ago a mutual from highschool posted her new born and the caption was “my baby is going to grow up so sexy”
That night my ass had been drinking a few glasses on wine and I comment “who the hell calls their baby sexy” OMG everyone jumped down my throat and I randomly think about it sometimes like ummmm WAS I WRONG 😭😂
It’s was Facebook though, so what did I expect lol
Hahahaha
u were right bruh that’s weird af 💀 straight ppl on a different level
@@kira-jn2ih and I’m a mom, I was a mom then, I was so freaked out by it 😭😆 people are so damn weird - especially some moms with their sons (which is what this was and I have a son too).
YOU ARE NOT WEIRD. That is NOT cool lol
I feel like they should definitely get a divorce and the wife should get full custody while this guy sits in his corner of the world and eats his ham sandwich. It might be hard for her but it's better than living with someone who not only despises you and is the father of your children but also hates those children he fathered and didn't have the guts to have an honest conversation about it rather going on reddit and acting like an ungrateful asshole.
It’s people like this who will never be happy even if they decided to be with a different person
I consider it very important to talk about children and other serious topics during a first date. It can be scary, but it can also avoid falling for someone who could ruin your future. Im a woman and i dont want children. One time i had a date with a guy, I told him that I was looking for a serious relationship and that I didn't want kids, like, ever. He said "I can change that" and winked at me. He really tried to convince me that I would change my mind. After that night, I blocked him. :'))
Same expérience. I say very early on what I look for and want or don't want (marriage absolutely, kids never). Multiple people said: just wait for the right guy, you'll change your mind.
No tf i won't. He won't be the right guy obviously if he wants to convince me of something that is a hard no for me.
@@lauratroy13 Truuuuuue. "just wait for the right guy, you'll change your mind." I hate that phrase. Why can't people accept that it's okay not to want a child? A child can ruin a career and dreams, no thank you
Why do people never believe women who say they don’t want kids
Not all have a maternal instinct or dumb baby fever
@@lauratroy13 I’ve been saying I don’t want kids for like 8 years and my mom still says “maybe you’ll change your mind when you’re older 😁” like no mother I will not
@@bananochloe because for the past hundreds of years or more it was the expectation to just get married young and have a baby in your 20’s, anything different was seen as weird or strange.
At least that was seen as what women were supposed to do, be a wife and mom and that’s it. :/ and many people unfortunately still think that’s how you should spend your life.
I swear every time someone brings up being childfree or not wanting kids, others always go “Who will take of you when you’re old?” Or “You’ll be so lonely when you’re old” like wtf you don’t have kids just they’ll be your caretaker when you’re elderly ugh 🙄
Having kids just shouldn't be the norm. It is NEVER the kids fault, let's not forget that, but the fact that people are *expected* to have children at some point, creates so many *miserable* people. Miserable parents, miserable kids. I feel like the default societal norm should be to not have children, and then the ones who want it have to *actively* want it. Because so many people go into parenthood passively.
*EDIT: I'm sick of y'all, stop replying to this , especially if dumb and can't think critically
right!
This! I wholeheartedly agree.
@@BarbieDreamDungeon I only disagree with this, because 'mentally unfit' is a term very often conflated with 'deviant' when left to society to decide (think homosexuality, transgenderism being until very recently deemed illness, or even the current controversial diagnoses of ADHD and autism). I think mental unwellness doesn't necessarily mean someone can't be a good parent. I don't want to sound cliched, but having "love" in the heart doesn't count for nothing when it comes to this topic. A depressed adult who has been thru traumatic shit in the past can be full of love and raise a well rounded child, with the right support. A parent can be perfectly well, but have nothing but contempt for a child, due to circumstance.
Ultimately, for those who want kids and are mentally unwell, I don't think the solution is to *stop* them from having them, it's to provide real, substantive support. That's another thing that grinds my gears. Raising children should be the job of a whole community of people, but it's put on the shoulders of one or two. If more people realised that they didn't have to have them, then support for parents wouldn't be stretched so thin. And I genuinely believe that most people would be much happier in a support role of raising a child.
@@BarbieDreamDungeon that's true that's true.its also a very sticky topic, you know- restricting a freedom based on what someone *might* do in the future (I just watched psycho pass lol). Again, I'd fall back on the 'support' thing, but not just for the parents, for the child. Child protection as it is in this country is broken. If more people decided not to have kids, that system could be much more robust, and if a parent is flagged as a potential abuser (so if we go with your idea of screening potential parents, but without the "u can't have kids for this or that reason" rule), there could be more more *substantive* systems in place to whisk that child away at the first sign of anything. Especially if there was a community of 'sub-parents' around who actually cared for the child's welfare.
one of the best moments of my life was when i realized that i'm not obligated to have kids
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like when noel has a someone with him in his videos, his comedy increases 10 fold
it's the voyeurism
@@szthbnsfprdctn i think you mean exhibitionism
@@mariac1984 no i mean his being watched makes him funnier
@@szthbnsfprdctn I think its just cause he's talking to an actual person instead of a screen so its like he has a little audience
social facilitation!
There's a good point in what you say. On the first date with my now-husband, I went ahead and talked about my future goals (specifically marriage and kids). I figured if he didn't agree he could just go ahead and move on and we wouldn't have to go through the heartache of breaking up over it later.
Happily, that decision worked out for both of us. We've been married 21 years (and counting) and have 4 wonderful kids. Things aren't always sunshine and roses, but we stick together and support each other through all the hard times.
It's silly to stigmatize talking about these things early in a relationship. They're important life decisions/goals and can be deal breakers for many (most?) people. I'd encourage anyone in a relationship to talk about money, kids, marriage, and religion early on. It's important stuff.
I'm going insane because Noel literally just ended up describing the plot of an existing dystopian book (unwind) where parents can just kill their kids if they want
Is it that Nick cage movie
Noel: i get why people are mean to their kids. It should be more rare that parents love you, you ruined their lives.
People with abusive parents: aight, we know.
yeah Noel kinda missing the whole they decided to have kids part like I'm never having kids because I know I would never be able to give up my dream for them . it's not funny at all to justify abuse because pregnancy is hard
Yeah ik he's being funny but I stopped laughing very quickly.
@@lightunicorn1371 same 💀
He was just joking, he even said It
loool it stung a little but i think it’s okay for comedy to do that sometimes. it can’t be a padded wall for all of us, or i think it’d lose its edges as an art form, y’know what i mean? it can’t be okay to poke fun at some stuff but not others(within reason), it’s all good-i think it’s our responsibility to get our own shit straight in that way
Everytime I think it can’t get worse it does, and I’m not even half way through the video!
Only 5 minutes in and it already sucks lol
It's actually really important to discuss these big life choices with your partner early on, for both sides. I've seen and heard of relationships where the dude was BEGGING to have kids but the girl didn't want any. The same goes for marriage, lifestyle, jobs, schedules, living arrangements, etc. It's all important to, at minimum, have a mutual understanding of how the other person works and lives so you can either A) adapt if at all possible or B) move on before you lose 2 decades with someone you aren't compatible with.
"What would you do if I knocked you up" is even better as a pickup line
He dunks on his wife for comparing herself to unrealistic portrayels of life on instagram, but also fully believes that all his childless friends have perfect lives with no problems lmao.
when the guy said the thing about not liking his wife being motherly, points to his own shit with insecurities around his maternal figure, if only people went to therapy
or maybe just maybe...its because he hates kids and didn't want to be a father. just like he said a million times in his post.
why cant humans just accept that alot of people are disgusted by the idea of having kids and having a child would mentally fuck them up.
@@lashay7684 Then he shouldn't have become a father, simple. Why is he married to someone that want kids in the first place? Why are you defending this awful narcissistic man?
@@aspannas no they are not defending him, they are saying there are functional adults out there that dont feel shit when they see a gremilin, and it should be normalized , having children is a developmental task that not everyone needs to oblige to and you dont need to psychoanalyze the shit out of someone just cuz they dont fit the norm. Other than that, the guy sounds awful really.
@@lashay7684 who tf held a gun to his head and asked him to become a father? yeah people and society is pushy about kids and marriage but don't be a pussy and ruin somebody else's life because you're too much of a coward to live life the way you want.
My wife and I have had fertility issues, and it always hurts to see when people have kids they don't want. Thankfully we have one, but I always imagined we'd have 2, and it really sucks when people ask when we'll have another one, and its looking like that'll never happen. PSA, don't ask people questions like that, it's none of your business and you don't know what they're going through.
I second the don’t ask people questions like when are you having a child, or why are y’all married, etc.
It's awkward. I want to ask why do you ask?
lol it kinda relates to the thing Noel was saying where people who don't want kids, get kids very easily but people who want kids, struggle to have kids. I've seen so many people try to have kids but sadly its difficult for them. Funny how this works.
As a woman, this redditor is my worst fear 😭😭
As a woman, becoming this redditor is my greatest fear lmao
Believe me sister, there are worse people out there, if you meet such a guy just leave his crusty beard-ass and your kids will thank you
as a woman i relate to this redditor. i dont have kids and i dont want any, but if someone pressured me to have kids or if my parents werent liberal when it came to marriage and kids then i wouldve ended up like him.
@@lashay7684 bro, bro. Why are you so adamant about sympathizing and building sympathy with the obvious POS in this scenario? You have gone into so many comments replying with "I feel bad for him, he's a victim and people are calling him bad uwu." I hate to break it to you, but he is not a victim. If he didn't want kids, this goes for you too, DO NOT HAVE ANY, ITS YOUR BODY. This thing from reddit deserves no sympathy. Especially not from women. The only morons sympathizing with him are equal to him in idiocy and bigotry. Anyway have a nice day.
@@lashay7684, ditto. "After emotional blackmail she finally had her baby". Fuck that noise.
How does this man think his wife got pregnant? How can you be THAT oblivious to the fact that communication is key?? Like, had this man just brought up that he doesn’t want kids beforehand, he probably wouldn’t be here right now. This is his own doing and he’s taking it out in his wife and kids??
8:26 “You are whispering to the 🐱….just go into the egg and hatch…” 😂😂🤣🤣
Apparently Noel was crapping his pants until he was 15
Noel's point about being open on a first date is a good idea, it's just that it's thinking long-term rather than short-term, which many if not most people would rather deal with or think about "later". It's like procrastinating your life choices, and procrastination is easy.
when he said "Im surprised more kids aren't murdered" I lost it😭
He’s so outta pocket😭💀
alex grinning up at noel in the video gives vibes like that little dancing dude in the twin peaks dream sequence
4:10 “this is tricky territory, because now what we’re talking about is grading baby appearances”
Anyone remember Noel’s old vine saying they should add a button on facebook that says someone’s baby is ugly? 😂
"Comparison is the thief of all joy" is one of the truest sayings ever uttered.
Also too, yr thumbnail made me sterile.
I have this tattooed on my body :)
The palpable stomach-churning cringe in my body is so strong that I can't even come up with a comment to insult the guy
Changing to this setup with Alex might’ve been the greatest upgrade in youtube history
Gotta get that refugee clout
The way he says “emotional blackmail” makes me think that they agreed to have children early on in their relationship, but only after getting her to commit (get married) did he decide that he didn’t want them anymore. Her “emotional blackmail” is just saying “you said we’d have kids, I want kids, so if I cant have them with you I'll leave”. Like it's not "emotional blackmail" if you call your partner out on being a liar lol
The way he said "emotional blackmail" makes me think that the guy loved her too much to leave her when she made him to do something he doesn't want to.
It makes me think she could've said "you'll give me a baby, if you really loved me" or "She will look for other ways if he didn't do it" and he didn't have a choice to save his marriage.
See it's easy to make up scenarios isn't it?
@@Aro7241 Well if he didn't want children, he shouldn't have married her, that's the fucking point
@@Aro7241
If that was the reason he did it, then that’s equally as stupid and shortsighted as the scenario the original commenter said
I’m glad you brought this up. I left a similar comment under someone else’s, but I honestly think there’s a chance there was no “emotional blackmail” at all. I’ve noticed a lot of men tend to say this to deflect blame, and will then push the responsibility of a big decision (like having a child) into their partner because they wanted one. Essentially, being like “YOU asked for this, YOU forced me,” as if they weren’t also involved in granting their partner that desire.
I just gotta say, that ficus is so happy. It looks like it needs a grow light, it’s a little droopy, but otherwise looks pretty happy. Maybe a little more water/fertilizer and it would be leafing more! But otherwise a very long lasting plant! I’m proud!
i love how alex looks up at noel like a baby looks up at its father
*slow claps and stands up* I gotta say I don’t always agree with Noel but when I do I seriously DO. What in this man’s right mind thought any of this was okay?? 😭
Because, like Noel said, he's completely self-centered. It doesn't look like he has any ability to see things from her perspective, or even consider how she feels about anything. For someone so narrow-minded, their wants and needs are the only things that matter at all. Everyone else, they won't even notice. That leads to entitlement, where he thinks he deserves something from her, and he's clearly upset that he's not getting that from her. But he's also clearly afraid of the discomfort that comes with being honest or else he would have talked to her about how he feels instead of hiding from her at work.
Glad to see the Ukrainian refuge is still a part of the show
new cody
Lmfaooo exactly
Jokes on you, unlike Cody: he puts out.
The whole "my friends won't understand" argument he makes is actually because he knows all of them would call him out left right and centre
The way he just refuses to acknowledge that he is also a parent to his wife’s child and blames her completely when he gets her pregnant
Someone was just talking to me about having kids, they told that having kids made them a better person. I've seen some people become better after having kids and some people that seem worse
i feel it's gonna make genuinely good people even better and bad ones worse. Kinda like when you put a person in a stressful, difficult situation and depending on the choice(s) they make you find out who they really are
On my tinder profile one of the things i include is the fact i dont want kids at all. And its not a point to be negotiated.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but: parents can still f**k after having kids. Childbirth and parenting ruins nothing that good communication and a can-do attitude can't fix.
Stay safe out there!
the exception is doctors who still do the “husband stitch”, which often ends up making insertion far too painful
Mine definitely did/probably still do, I’ve got 6 younger siblings! And none of us are twins or triplets, either…..Apparently they really find each other attractive lol
until your wife gets fat, doesn't feel like losing weight and you no longer feel physical attraction
@@damjanp7920 if you feel that way you never liked her
@@kinkanalchemist That’s the dream!
I think asking the “kids” question is great on the first date. It’s just always great to know where people stand on these very important issues that can make or break a relationship.
If they want kids and you don’t then walk away man. Or else you’ll be this guy.
“I think about the hubris it must take to yank a soul out of nonexistence into this … Force a life into this thresher … "
Rust Cohle
Maybe don't get married before deciding if you're on the same page with having children or not. 🤷♀️ This is just gross all around.
Some people think their partners will change their minds once the child is born and that's so fucked up
He said in the post itself that the baby is a result of emotional blackmail from her. I don't know why everyone conveniently skips that and is simply pissed at him for disliking his new role. I like ripping on deadbeats as much as anyone else, but being baby-trapped by a man is my worst nightmare.
I don't see anything wrong with asking tough questions on a first date or, even better, before the date (like in the talking phase). I think it can prevent a lot of hurt and overly compromising your life goals for someone else
Please keep up this ‘get right into it’ energy. Immediately felt more engaging than an intro monologue
I love the chemistry between you two. These videos have been really funny
7:45
Alex: sounds like you’re sympathising with the poster
My dumb ass: *looks at the monster truck poster on the wall* wuuut?
I don't get how you can say shit like this about your kid man. I had my first son at 18 still in high school, I wasn't ready for a kid, but I sure as fuck quit all the dumb stuff I was doing and made countless sacrifices because there's an unexplainable feeling that happens seeing your baby for the first time, or seeing your baby discover the world for the first time, or seeing them figure skills out like talking. Like it's easily the most rewarding thing that's ever happened to me, I just don't get it. This post honestly made me sad as shit.
Edit: To clarify, I'm referring to the reddit post, not jokes Noel was making lol.
That’s so sweet
Who else is ready for some second hand embarrassment?
never in a million years did i think noel miller was gonna sum up what being a mom is like lmfao
I never expected that I would find a justification to outwardly advocate for this, but I _really_ hope she had an affair or committed any kind of infidelity and neither of the two children are his.
Theres a lot of guys out there that feel this way and worse, they leave their family in a terrible situation and then lie to everyone that will listen and make it the families fault that they left
He’s straight up the same guy who disses his wife in that one Dhar Mann video
man what a great day for reddit videos , danny AND noel ?? 😭✨
Finished his up, and now I'm here.
@@avery6529 me too !!!
honestly that's a good idea because there are still ppl who want kids and the last thing you want to do is end up with a gremlin spouse who hates the thought of kids at all
the "I'm surprised more kids aren't killed" did not age well
was looking for this exact comment
yeah im watching this AFTER the whole thing happened and my first instinct was to cringe even though i knew it was funny lol
@@mdm_222 what whole thing happened? I’m so confused
@@thebiteof420 school shooting in Uvalde
@@thebiteof420 uvalde school shooting
well. that kid killing joke aged poorly 💀
yeah i was like damn when was this video made
The baby autotune gets me every time
Idc what anyone says as a parent your are literally giving up your entire life for the next 18+ years. What a fucking nightmare
it can also be the best thing to ever happen to a person, depends on the person really
Personally for me its whats causing me to get my life together, its scary but honestly the best thing that could have ever happened to me. everyone has a different experience
Cody curling up in a corner as he he watches noel slowly replace him with a Ukrainian war captive he got off some sketchy Russian dark web website
who is that guy im curious
It scares me that people can go years feeling like this about their significant other & just stay because it’s convenient
Honestly Noel makes a great point about having that baby talk early. So many people don't have that talk and fall in love and then all of a sudden realize that one of them doesn't want kids. For a person that wants kids this is HUGE deal! So yeah have those tough talks in the beginning especially if you are dating to find the one. If you are just casually doing whatever then yolo but if you start to think it may be more then you need to have that conversation no matter what side you're on.
That first guy needs to get therapy how do you hate your wife so much? Divorce for HER sake.
Noel: no one should be like "hot baby"
Shane Dawson: 👀👀👀
There's a book called "Unwind" thats actually about kids being killed, and used for their organs at the age of 13, if the parents choose, as a way to mediate pro life and pro choice ppl.
It's actually a great book. Check it out.
Here's the synopsis: Unwind is a dystopian thriller by Neal Shusterman that follows three teens on the run from a government that believes “unwinding,” or body harvesting, is an alternate solution to abortions and unwanted teens. Unwinding is also a choice for extremely religious families who want to tithe one of their teens.
Oo seems interesting, thanks for the recommendation Cristina
@@may3877 no problem compa 🤙 Another great book is called "Boot Camp". The ending is actually chilling, well to me it is.
I don't wanna spoil it too much and give the whole scene, BUT the kid basically ends up becoming institutionalized (kinda like Stockholm syndrome type shit), and the parents don't realize until the very end when they come to get their child (after they put him there to begin with). Basically when it's too late....And that's how it ends....
I remember that series; We read it for our book club. There were four in total, including a book dedicated to side stories for secondary characters from the main storyline.
i read that book years ago and never found its name again, so thank you sm!
Man I love these videos because aside from the jokes there's an element of sincerity. I really agree it should be a normal thing to just bring up kids/no kids on the first date. Ultimately it's such an important thing for a relationship.
as a father of two (3yr and 5yr) I am thankful I have a partner that we can back away from tough moments and stress of being a parent to come up with a game plan to improve our relationship. totally agree vetting your partner with hard hitting questions.
Noel! there was a clip posted where you talked about Missing Murdered Indigenous Womxn and i wanted to thank you for bringing that to light. it made my whole day
Womxn