ALWAYS SAY BONJOUR IN FRANCE... OR ELSE!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- It's true -- bonjour is a magic word in France. As a tourist in Paris or anywhere in France, you'll learn this really quickly when you forget to say bonjour. It really is the most important word in France and starts every interaction off on the right foot. It means hello -- literally good day -- and should be used every time you interact with anyone BEFORE asking for directions, ordering food, etc. But saying bonjour in French is nuanced and you don't say it more than one to the same person and there are some instances where you don't say it.
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Salut! I'm Diane, an American who has lived in France since 2012 and the creator of the blog/TH-cam channel Oui In France. My channel's focus is "Everyday French life and beyond." I make videos on French culture topics, France vs. US culture comparisons, food, travel, language, and give you my thoughts about what it's like living in France as an American in the Loire Valley. Thanks for being here and if you enjoy this sort of thing, please share with friends and subscribe!
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I'm in france for the second time in my life right now. the first time I spoke no french at all and was too shy to even try. so naturally I thought, "wow, the french really are rude." Now I've been self-studying french for about two years and wanted to give france another go. Wow! what a difference! It's really rewarding to have a full conversation in french and if I get tripped up on something, people usually switch to english. Saying bonjour really is huge, I wish I knew that the first time around, I actually feel guilty of how rude I was on my first trip.
Odd situation. I was using a urinal in a loo in cafe in Paris, but I didn’t realize it was a “unisex” bathroom. Suddenly the stall door opened, and a well dressed woman stood beside me while she washed her hands. Yes, there was a small partition between us.
I didn’t say, “Bonjour”. 😮
hahah, did she say bonjour? good call on your part
Probably one of those rare situations when you shouldn't say "hello" to the person haha, good call
Saw a funny t-shirt in a shop window in Paris that said "Another F__ing 'Bonjour, Madame"
Frenchman here. This is true for most interactions you can have with a stranger in France. There are some exceptions that boil down to intuition so I'd rather not give examples so that I can avoid putting bias into somebody who's reading this comment right now.
bonjour, merci beaucoup
I’ll be sure to open with “bonjour” the next time I’m in France, but here, in the US, I have tried to strike up conversations with a man in my building who is a francophone from Togo. He insists that “bonjour” is never, ever used after noon. He scolded me at 12:15pm, saying “bonsoir” starts at noon and “bonne nuit” at dark. Could this be regional?
Maybe that's how things are done in Togo, but I can tell you in France it's perfectly normal to say bonjour until nightfall/6-7pm-ish. No issue at all. If you said bonsoir to someone at 12:30pm, they'd probably look at you funny. Afternoon is still definitely bonjour time everywhere in France. And bonne nuit is really when you're telling someone to sleep well like tucking a kid into his/her bed. Bonsoir is what you want to use for good evening.
Great videos always Diane. Have you seen the french movie "Itinéraire d'un enfant gâté"? There is a very memorable scene about saying bonjour.😊👍🏾
Thanks so much! I'll look up the movie, don't think I've seen it!
It's sad to see that it takes a video to explain to people that all human interaction begins by showing the other person that I recognize her/him as also being a human like me and not a neutral thing. A culture who doesn't have such manner is really worrying.
We do greet them. It's typically just communicated through body language, head nods, and a polite friendly tone of voice. That's why American tourists are so confused in France. To them a smile, eye contact with head nod, and their friendly tone communicate everything you think they are missing. French tourists are often seen as having a rude tone of voice in America. Different cultures are just different.
Bon jour Diane. I just returned from a week in Paris and you are so correct. I started every interaction with a friendly and smiling Bon jour and even though the people I was speaking to knew I was struggling with the language, (3 years of high school and college French 45 years ago), the people seemed to appreciate my attempt to show respect to their language, their country, and their culture. They went out of their way to assist me and most of them recognized that I was an American. So many of the wonderful people of France speak English and made things easy for me. What a wonderful country!
I'm French and you nailed it : Saying Bonjour to a shop clerk means "I acknowledge you as a fellow human being and not a vending machine". That's why it is rude to not do it.
I remember when I was a young child, when my parents had guests (not family ) arriving at our home, my siblings and I had to stop playing and queue up to greet individually each guest with a formal "Bonjour Monsieur" or "Bonjour Madame".
As an American raised in the rural South, manners and politeness were critical. Sadly, those expectations are slipping with the younger generations.
Pre-covid, I spent two weeks in France every year for over 20 yrs. While far from a French cultural expert, saying "bon jour" is the difference between having an average trip and having a great trip. Some Americans are surprised when I dispel the rumor that the French are rude. My reply is usually "They are only rude when I am rude".
In addition, in doing daily business in shops or cafés, or restaurants etc. new to you, it is always advisable to say "Bonjour Madame/Monsieur". I frequent a couple of bars which can be quite busy. The bartenders(whom I know)will ignore you if you don't say "bonjour" before ordering. I always regularly say "merci" as well.
Absolutely. We have gotten so used to thinking of ourselves that we forget others & how important it is to treat others as you would like to be treated. The French are not rude. I struggle with saying complicated things but someone or the other is there to help & that’s the way it should be. Give & take on both sides.
If you ever forget to say bonjour (even for us natives it happens at times) and the person points it out to you, i just say "ah désolé, bonjour" (oh sorry, hello) it makes it understood that it's an omission and not beeing rude on purpose
In this case, the French way is just better. If you walk up to someone and just start demanding things from them without so much as a hello, that is just rude. We should all acknowledge that and strive to do better. I also feel that a warm smile is worth a lot. May not be true everywhere in the world though.
I'm French, and there was one time this cultural difference became so jarring I switched myself to "rude French stereotype".
I was minding my own business at one of Paris' major train stations and some tourist lady just planted herself in front of me and asked "metro?"
That's it.
Bitch I'm not an information panel.
I consider myself polite and respectful. However, I also realize that I do not start every interaction with restaurant staff, grocery store employees, etc. with a hi or hello. To be perfectly honest, until watching this video, I wouldn’t have giving it a second thought. I would use a polite, respectful tone, I would look someone in the eye, but sometimes I don’t even always say thank you. I don’t necessarily agree with the way I interact after hearing these examples in France. I mean, what can it hurt to take an extra beat and say hello yes can I have something please?
It’s called manners in most countries, Uk , Australia, Europe, New Zealand, even parts of American and beyond.
Good observation @susanbartone1347! Probably most of us could be a little more self aware.
Yeah, as an American the "hello" is often more implied through a head nod with eye contact, a smile, or a more friendly tone. I don't think it's that we fail to greet each other or recognize them as a person. It's just that politeness and respect in greeting is more implied through body language, tone, and facial expression than it is particularly spoken
Diane, ta video est top ! Tu as raison sur 98% de ce que tu dis. Continue stp 😘
Ce serait amusant de faire une série de vrais bonjours. Dans un petit magasin, puis plus grand, puis grande surface, médecin, poste, et oubli de dire bonjour (comment on se rattrape), dans un magasin où les vendeurs sont déjà occupés, dans la rue pour demun renseignement. Ce serait assez drôle.
It reminds me the song in Beauty and the Beast (Belle / sing-a-long) when they say "Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour, bonjour, bonjour!!!!!" 🎶😂
These politeness rules are quite common in Europe, it's not only french.
We teach our kids the "magic words" by using it to them, kids imitate adults. If they miss these words, we don't understand them or don't hear them. It's why it's magic, it makes understand ! 😂
And if tourist act like rude kids we treat them like rude kids 😂
I was replying on insta to someone saying all french are rude. She finally said "as I'm a tourist and spend money in France, the french have to be polite to me not the other way around ! " 😮 " people working in restaurants or shops have to serve us, it's their jobs, why saying please and thank you to employees ?" 😮
I was very shoked by her reply and the reply of others !
And yes on top of that, " as France is a touristic area, every french should a least speak english ! " 😮😮😮
Bonjour Diane, tu réussis complètement ton but!! 👏👏👍well done🎉
You help people from different culture to get on well with others and explain the differences between them. I love your léger accent en français : so charming😊
I was in a boulangerie near gare du Nord in Paris in a queue. The woman in front of me said in English with an American accent "one of those and one of those" while pointing. I was just shocked, I felt like I should apologise to the serveuse for her. There was not even a thank you at the end. This lesson of bonjour, s'il vous plait, merci, and au revoir (bonus points for bon journée too) is the lesson I impart to any visitors we have here. Saying thes things do not mean much but not saying them really is like being deliberatley rude.
Bonjour! When I went to France, our tour guide told us about the importance of "bonjour" first thing. If a stranger approached me and said "hello", I would have reacted poorly. As in "are you setting me up for something?". But then, one day I took a trip to see something that was not on our schedule, and I needed to find the subway. I approached a teen boy and said "bonjour". He gave me his full attention, listened to my question, and directed me to the subway. Magic! The whole conversation took place with my paltry French and I got to Versailles quite ok.
Bonjour! 🙂I can confirm. Was a discussion on Facebook translated from french. I used bonjour to start, no one else did, and I was the only person they answered. I learned this from you. 👍
I found that if you say "Bonjour, hello", they know I am seeking English.
Bonjour, as a Frenchman, I can confess that it happened a couple of times that I have refused deliberately to answer kindly to some tourists who come to me without saying Hello, in French or even in English. I was rude just because in my point of view they did not deserve any kindness due to their lack of basic politeness at first. Asking for help with no minimum consideration for me. Obviously, I was less than 20 and I had only lived in Paris at that time, was not aware that saying Hello was not a necessary mandate in other countries.
I agree , being French ( living in the UK ) , 'Bonjour' is the password that opens any conversation, anywhere, anytime. And remember that French love foreign accents, so do not worry how you say it , just say it , and if they smile when you say bonjour , they are not mocking your accent , it is because they find it very cute and it brings a smile on their face.
Bon jour! Of all of your amazing vlogs, this is the best. It's critical yet so simple to accomplish. Your comment about saying bon jour is much more than just being polite. It's about seeing the person as human and that you respect them. That is the most critical lesson in life, regardless of whether you are a tourist or in your own neighborhood.
I work for a large international company. We have non-Europeans who come to the US either on work Visas or just a few weeks stay. They don't always treat service workers politely. I tell them that saying please and thank you is required - it shows that you value them and what they do.
I was raised in the rural American South. As a child, I was taught to always say "thank you" and "please". Instead of "hello, can you help me", it was "excuse me, can you help me". As an adult, I always say good morning/afternoon/evening, please, thank you. I try my best to say hello/hi to waitstaff or anyone with who I interact.
Saying bon jour is expected but I believe that most service people who work in primary tourist areas in Paris are culturally savvy and realize that non-French have different cultural norms. While they prefer bon jour, they don't deny service if a non-French doesn't say it, especially younger people. However, if you are outside of the tourist area or outside of Paris, bon jour is critical. Regardless, it's such a simple thing to do and will make your French visit vastly more enjoyable.
Merci.
Bonjour Diane! 😁 If you're from the South, your Mama raised you to say good morning, thank you, please, you're welcome, yes ma'am, etc. Unfortunately, the common rudeness that prevails on TV, in movies and in social media is degrading the natural Southern politeness into grey, boring, casual rudeness. Even in the South, it will be gone in another 20 years.
Hello Diane,
If tourists have issues with BONJOUR, they can get away with a "Bonjour " in their own language as long it is a European one. Most people will figure out what you mean.
Kind regards
Hello, little precision, at least for me and where I live, saying "Bonjour" to the same person twice IS rude. Especially if you see him once at 9 and once at 14 for example.
Because it means "I don't remember seeing you this morning", like, you said "Bonjour", but you did'nt considere the individual when you said it.
It is not a big mistake, but doing this error multiple time IS very rude.
It's the same on the telephone and you say "au revoir" before hooking up or leaving the person so he knows the conversation is over .
"Vous" is also an important word in France.
Yup, when speaking to more than 1 person or a formal "you." But I feel like tourists who don't speak French really wouldn't have many occasions to use vous. Bonjour, on the other hand, should be used liberally!
@@OuiInFrance Yes, totally agree!
@@OuiInFrance
Oui.
Bonsoir Diane! I went to Paris for the first time last year, and I know that I unintentionally forgot some "bonjours" while I was there (mostly due to stress). I will say it's a relief to be greeted first, because it becomes a reflex to just say it back automatically! Easy peasy. Everyone I interacted with were very polite about it, but I do feel bad in retrospect. But I feel worse about all of the "s'il vous plaîts" I know I missed. I've got "merci" down to basically a reflex, but my mind would just go blank for "s'il vous plaît". Same thing happened to me in Mexico with "por favor". Of course I would never forget to say "please" in English, so I don't know what's going on there. I'm returning to France (and visiting French speaking Switzerland) next month, and it's my mission to remember my "s'il vous plaîts"! Thanks for the video!
Hi Jessica, yes it can be really stressful and that happens to all of us. I made my fair share of mistakes in the early days. What you said is true about being greeted first. That helps us to get the same words out of our own mouths and then it becomes a reflex. Have a great trip next month!
Hi. I know it's easy to say, but you don't need to stress. Imagine a french person in your country struggling to speak english. Would you moke at them or help them? Most of us understand that it is difficult to speak french and we easyly forgive mistakes. And most of the time, even if there are some of them, we understand what you mean. So don't worry. If that can help you to feel calm.
Thank you for that, Julien. So true!@@julienserre8867
@@julienserre8867 thank you for the kind words!
Couldn’t agree more, Diane. Well said! After over 30 years living in Paris I’ve found myself irritated when American visitors just come up and ask directions directly in English without even a bonjour first - and totally empathise with local boulangeries etc when the bonjour is missing. That simple word missing generally meets with an upset response. I have to admit that I found myself pretending I didn’t speak English when I thought the person was so rude 😬
On the other hand, I love your explanation of the American side which makes it all so much easier to understand the differences. As a Brit we tend to just say sorry first ! 😂
Although it’s not done in urban settings, it’s polite to say bonjour to people you meet on hiking trails in the French Alps, Pyrenees or countryside.
You have to know that coffee has two prices in a Café :
- "un café" : 4€
- "Bonjour, un café s'il vous plaît. Merci" : 2€
Thank you Diane! In Montreal it's quite the same here too, where we say "Bonjour/Hi" (incase people speak English) but it's also the norms to say Bonjour or Salut, and Bonne journee when leaving a shop or cafe etc :)
Your video is very true, thanks. That's why I think that there is this stereotype that the French are rude: it's just that we don't answer you if you don't say Bonjour first, so actually you are the rude person.
Il y a beaucoup de touristes US dans ma région, le "hello" me suffit, ce n'est pas le mot français mais l'intention est là.
I thought “ Bonjour “ means good morning ! Because “ bonsoir “ means good evening. Right ?! I thought “ salut “ means hello ! Please correct me. Merci bien.
Hi, so bonjour literally means "good day" and would translate to "hello" in English. Matin=morning and you don't say bon matin. Bonsoir is good evening, yup, and used after dark/nighttime. Salut is more familiar and means two things depending on context: 1) hey (informal hello) and 2) see ya! (informal goodbye).
Do not use salut as a replacement for bonjour. You only use salut with people you have a casual relationship with like friends and people you know a bit. I explained in another comment that this is something I heard from the woman at the front desk at my gym. We all knew each other casually so it was fine.
Don't say salut to someone you just met (of any age) or in a formal context like a job interview or to your new client at a business meeting. Hope that helps!
@@OuiInFrance merci bien.
My theory is that communication is only 10% language. With bonjour, merci, pardon, and a courteous physical manner (walk to the right, let people pass, don’t stand to the side), you will be treated very well in Paris. In my experience, start with bonjour and the French person will guide you through a courteous interaction even if it’s just with hand signals and a smile.
Bon jour Diane! Merci for these helpful videos!!
sorry, if I've commented before, but yes, I only know 4 words of French, visited France 5 times since 2012 and always greet shopkeepers with bonjour and then ask if they speak English, in 2012, they would reply, "little bit", and that would be all the English they would speak, this year most shopkeepers would actually converse in English, so much has changed.
If you don't start a conversation in France with "bonjour", you're gonna have a bad time.
Anywhere, if you start an interaction being rude in the local culture, you can't expect a good behavior. In France, don't start with a question or request without showing respect.
question: if it’s first thing in the morning, would it be acceptable to say Bon matin? Or is that just sound odd? And maybe you addressed this because I haven’t listen to the entire video yet, but what about the phrase ‘bonne nuit? Is that something you would say to someone only within your family or your own social circle when you’re leaving? For example or you’re heading off to sleep for the night?
Never heard of "bon matin" being used in Paris. I lived briefly in Paris, for only 8 days 😀 According to Google, that phrase is used exclusively in Canadian French.
I believe North American francophones say it but for other francophones it would be odd.
But still they use the expression bon matin like when you want to ask someone why he is up that early : Que fais-tu de si bon matin ? In France you should say Bonjour at the beginning of a conversation and Bonne journée at the end. If it's After 6 pm you can start with Bonsoir and finish with Bonne soirée. Bonne nuit is when you or someone is heading off to bed. You can use it with anyone.
You don't say "bon matin", if you'r talking to someone you meet you say " Bonjour" From morning to evening, and "bon soir" after that. " Bonne matinée " Or "bonne soirée" Is something you can say to someone who is leaving like some kind of "have à good time". " Bonne nuit" Is only used to speak to someone who's going to bed. It's not only for people you really know, but it comes to it most of the time because you don't really see strangers going to bed! 😁
No. In the whole day you say bonjour when you enter in the store. Imagine, you come in a bakery. You say : ”bonjour, je voudrais une baguette s'il vous plaît. - bakery : bonjour (can you imagine the number of times she says bonjour ?). She gives the baguette. (Often she says other things : which one, undercooked, overcooked, "et avec ceci ?"). Then you take the baguette, you say "merci, bonne journée, au revoir". And you go out with smile because you have a delicious baguette.
Now, imagine :
1/ In the morning 🕗: "BONJOUR, je voudrais une baguette s'il vous plaît. She gives the baguette. You have 2 solutions : ”Merci, bonne JOURNÉE, au revoir" or "merci, bonne MATINÉE, au revoir" ( I think the first one is better.
2/ the afternoon🕑 : "BONJOUR, je voudrais une baguette s'il vous plaît. She gives the baguette. You have 2 solutions : ”Merci, bonne JOURNÉE, au revoir" or "merci, bonne APRÈS-MIDI, au revoir" ( I think the second one is better, because the day is half past.
3/ from around 18h 🕡: "BONJOUR or BONSOIR, je voudrais une baguette s'il vous plaît. She gives the baguette. You have 2 solutions : ”Merci, bonne FIN DE JOURNÉE, au revoir" or "merci, bonne SOIRÉE, au revoir" ( both are good).
If you are afraid, you just can say "merci, au revoir". That's enough and polite too 😂😱
Otherwise, tryptophane. Normaly people will not blame you because you are wrong. Sometimes they will correct you, not because they feel superior but to help you. (Of course, not everybody is gentle !)
French People, what do you think ? I am at Nantes, May be it is différent somewhere else.
Nope, no one says bon matin in France
Great video as usual. We'll be having a lot of American guests coming in for our wedding next year, and I'll be sharing a lot of your resources with them, including this one! 100% agree with the differences you pointed out. I confirm that it's way more common to say "bonjour" to a stranger you pass in the street in smaller cities/towns, but really only when you are the only two in the street or path, and especially if it's a residential street where you both probably live there. Not when you're downtown and constantly passing people.
I would make a small distinction from the idea that "we get away with" leaving off "hello" in the U.S., in that I don't think it's even considered impolite at all in the U.S. when we don't say it, just efficient. I find that shopkeepers and waitstaff are often surprised if you say "hello" here - they're not used to it and they kind of want you to just get right to the point so they can get the job done. (For reference, I'm in New England. Could be different in other parts of the country.)
Thanks so much, Rachel. I appreciate you sharing my stuff! (and always leaving thoughtful comments ;-)))
Re: the small distinction, I think there are two types of leaving off the hello in the U.S. that are passable. One sounds a bit impolite to me and one is passable. We'll stick w/the deli counter example. Someone approaches and says "Gimme a pound of turkey." That sounds impolite as heck to me. But someone saying, "I'll take a pound of turkey, please. Thanks!" is missing a hello but isn't abrasive. Know what I mean? Both would be way less than what would be socially acceptable in France, as you know of course. And in certain parts of the US, like you said, forgetting a hello would not be cool at all like in the south (and ex. #1 outside of NYC would probably seem crazy rude).
Hi, if you want to be even more polite you can add "bonne journée" before "au revoir" ("bonne journée" means have a good day). You might see the other one struggle because he/she wasn't expecting the "bonne journée" and do not know how to respond back.
That brings when someone is telling you "bonne journée" (or "bonne après-midi" or "bonne soirée") at the end of the conversation, you are supposed to reply "bonne journée" too.
Saying please and thank yuu is very British as well !
US lack of manners won’t cut in the UK even too
I swear, you did make a video on this! It stuck with me as I was prepping for my tour last year. Or, maybe the info was in another video that contained other topics. Never hurts to reiterate the info! Thanks for all you do!
Hello, I've definitely had segments where I've talked about bonjour quickly when it's tied into another topic but it was time to make a dedicated video since it's THAT important. Thank you!!
Bonjour à tous, being Franco-American, I am well trained in my "petites politesses", my Montana-grown boyfriend isn't, but learning to say bonjour was a breeze to him: he said it's "country manners". He always gets a big smile when kids greet me or him with a "bonjour monsieur + smile". As his French is improving, I try to teach him to stop starting small talks as it's just not done in France, but rural French hospitality and his Yankie accent mean that he's typically graciously indulged.
Hello! If I may give an advise, I'd would say "Bonjours mesdames, Bonjours Messieurs " rather than "Bonjour Messieurs Dames" that does not sounds very distinguished ;-)
Thanks for the tip. I was just sharing something I share pretty often when in waiting rooms ;-)
@@OuiInFrance Sorry I had not noticed your message. I've just found it today by random. Entering a waiting room, a simple "Bonjour" can also be nice. People who are not deeply in their smartphone will answer by a slight smile and in the best case by a light "Bonjour", but always discret. At least in Paris (where I live) where people are not always the warmest ;-) Anyway, congratulations for your enjoyables videos 🙂
11:14 In fact it can look a bit rude, because if you say "bonjour" a second time it kind of means you forgot you already saw this person and said bonjour to them... like when you said it you didn't really paid attention so it's nothing huge but it's better to avoid saying bonjour twice in the same day.
Bonjour ! well, you would think I hadn’t listen to this video or learned anything! My two previous comments did not begin with bonjour! What a knucklehead I can be. Merci et je suis désolée
Hi, I did notice. But the good thing is that at point it rang a bell and you realised your mistake and politely apologized for it. So it's great. In France we say "c'est en forgeant qu'on devient forgeron". I won't translate it but it means that you learn by doing.
No problem at all. In YT comments, I definitely don't expect a bonjour ;-)
In Australia we say" G' Day" meaning good day so if Bonjour is french for good day then you can say bonjour with an Australian accent by saying " B' jour".
Hahahaha 😅
B jour would sound north african in France . It's a funny imitation of their accent .
@@jme104 lol I'm sure the "B jour" from an Australian won't sound like a Bijour from a north African ^^
Bonjour Diane! I've noticed when travelling how well bonjour is received from the English. Bonne journee was said when leaving an establishment often too. Can you advise at what time of day bonsoir is required please? Thank you.
Hi. There's no specific hour for bonsoir. When the sun sets early it can be a trigger to consider the evening has begun. Let's say that you can start around 6pm. But in summer for exemple, when the sun sets lately we will probably consider that the evening start later. So it would be ok if you start saying bonsoir around 7pm. Keep in mind that we often don't agree with each other. Someone will say bonjour and the other will answer bonsoir or vice versa. It often happens because someone lost track of time or because of differencies in the education or in the perception. So if you say bonsoir a bit early or bonjour a bit late, it's not a big deal
Hi there, Pete, there's no set time but a good rule of thumb is to say bonsoir when it's dark out for sure. 6pm is a good cutoff but probably a bit later in the summer months when it's light out a bit later. There's no hard and fast rule.
Several years ago, when leaving my daughter’s Paris apartment, she said “Be sure to say Bon Jour to the clerk in the Metro.” The line to buy tickets was not moving. An American was in front. Clicking a coin on the counter. The clerk was sorting coins, without looking up. Suddenly, I grasped that my daughter had been speaking of this particular clerk. I reached forward, tapped the American on the shoulder and said, “ If you don’t say Bon Jour, we will be here all day.” He growled “Bon Jour, one carnet (10 tickets). Without looking up, the clerk took the large proffered bill, counted out a number of coins and delivered them with one ticket. When my turn came, I said, “Bon jour! Un carnet, Sil vou plait.” I received my 10 tickets and a glimmer of a smile.
If you read deeper into this, it's not about leaving out "Hello," "Please," "Thank you," "Bonjour," "Namaste," or whatever. It's all about being judgmental, which is the bigger, world-wide problem, regardless of culture. IMHO, people need to stop judging each other.
Bonjour! I've been spending summers in tiny villages for 7 years. It is so different from big cities. I tell my American friends it's like thinking NYC is America, Paris is not France. Everyone says, "Bonjour" when passing by or in the park in Ginestas. The further south you go the more friendly people are. I think they're just checking me out but they do it with each other. It's like a little wake up and hello thing. I like it. I've made all the social mistakes in the past but now that I am moving there I'm good.
As french guy, I think that sometimes it's too much. When I speak randomly to someone "Excuse me Sir (or Madam), could you please tell me where is the bakery" ... in my mind it's fully polite, then if I receive a warning about the non "bonjour", then I'll will tell him / her what I think to be so much stuck or stuborn till stupidity at that point 😉😇😁
Diane, I told the “bonjour” key to some friends who were going to France and they were afraid to use it because they didn’t want the person to whom they were speaking to think that they spoke French and respond to them in French.
That is a REALLY good point. But I think that most tourists will say bonjour somewhat hesitantly/unnaturally and it'll be clear that they don't speak French. And if someone responds in French, it's totally normal to say "sorry I don't speak French." Even a mangled bonjour is better than saying hello in English or, worse, nothing at all IMHO
I agree with Diane. Tell them not to be afraid. As Diane said in the video, they can say Bonjour parlez-vous anglais ? or even Bonjour do you speak english? And then, if english isn't possible a "sorry I don't speak french" and the help of a translater on the phone would do the trick.
When we teach kids politness, when they forget to say please, thank you... we often ask them "c'est quoi le mot magique = what is the magic word". It means that for us it is really important to use those words to start and end a conversation. Bonjour/bonsoir, s'il vous plaît, merci au revoir are the key words
Bonsoir ! I did like the way you put this into context. Still, I'm sickened more and more by french people who won't bother saying this minimum, even less a meter from you in places where they should.
Bonjour Diane ! When I visited London in order to attend the coronation , I was always polite to Londoners because I needed them to help me give me directions on the train and stuff . They didn’t snub me by all means and I’ll be back next year but this time I’ll be back again to Liverpool and then a whole other week in the south of France . Claudia , Austin Texas
Going to Paris soon and that won't be a shock to me anymore because here in Canada we always say hi and how are you and a lot of "I'm sorry" :)
10:00 Actually people in closed area like Office building or Condominium building will tend to say Bonjour also to every person in the area knowing them or not having a meeting with them or not. It is a way to welcome the person and create a more friendly are bit also ensure the person is not lost or hold the credential to be here😅 About Bonjour, the tone pitch also help to emphasize the friendlyness. The tone has to raise to be more friendly to strangers. Another tip, if you cross someone in a lift late, sure you will greet the person with Bonsoir but whe' the person exist the lift, you will say good bye with either Bonne fin de journée or Bonne fin d'après -midi (max 16h), Bonne soirée (up to 22h/23h) or Bonne nuit... Next time the person will more likelly enter a conversation during the lift travel 😊 Thank you Diane for talking about this key of savoir-vivre in France 🥂
You nailed it. The only "random" people you would say bonjour to are also your neighbours, in the elevator for example. Or if you're at a doctor's office, usually people greet the whole waiting room when they sit.
I can't remember if I posted this before but I was in France in the spring and I was all set to say bonjour. I had watched many TH-camrs explain it was necessary to say bonjour. So I was all set. I walked into a bakery and I was concentrating on how I was going to request what I wanted in French. I was so nervous about the phrase I forgot to say bonjour. I was mortified. The salesperson was very nice and got me my croissant. 🙄 Also I like what you are saying about using hello in the United States. It is a nice way to begin and I'm going to try to remember it.
Hi Diane! I'm curious, you say in the U.S. people do sometimes say "Hello" when they interact with the staff. But could you as a customer also say "Good morning/evening" when entering the shop, or would it seem strange?
You can do so, it is neither impolite or strange.
@@davidcomtedeherstal Thank you!
This is somewhat regional. I live in the South (northeastern Florida), and in the South, the etiquette is generally more formal. We generally greet EVERYONE with "Good morning/afternoon/evening". Walking down the street and catch someone's eye? Say good morning as you walk past each other. Enter a building or room? Good afternoon. Even in large meetings, the presenter or leader of the meeting will start with "good evening"... And expect the room to respond back. I've seen presenters get very annoyed when they don't get a response, to the extent that they will repeat the greeting until they get the response.
To generalize for the entire US, you can greet with "hello" and it's fine also.
In the U.S., I think you'll hear good morning and good evening a fair amount. Probably not out of the mouth of a 20-year-old but it's definitely not a strange thing to say!
It might be the result of my French education but, when visiting the U.S., I naturally always started any interactrion with anyboday with '"good morning/afternoon/evening", or at least "hi"... then goodbye, please, thank you. I was never received a strange look in return, but plenty of smiles and good service.
I love your chanel and the USA . You made me understand a lot about my country and culture !
Saying Bonjour means that you are "friendly " . It is even more important in the south of France, small towns or villages . It make the other person feel secure . With co workers, it is better to say it, 2 times a day, than to forget. The person will respond , it is ok, we meet this morning. If you dont say hello, she will think that you did it in purpose because you are angry . It is more important for the boss, he needs to say bonjour to every one to be respected.
The spam filter is kind of iconic.... queen behavior
Bonsoir Diane. Its josef at 12:15 am in Cape May. How are you? This was a wonderful posting, informative and imperative without being heavy handed about the topic. You are so right on politeness. During my recent 30+ days in France if I thought perhaps I didn’t say bonjour, i’d insert it into my conversation with desolé to let the other person know I didn’t mean to be offensive.
Please keep up your excellent and educational content and my best to Tom. Au revoir, Josef.
Hi Josef, so glad you had a nice trip. Thanks for watching my video. I appreciate your support! I'll say hi to Tom ;-)
I've noticed that at the beginning of les journaux télévisés in France the présentateur always says, "Bonjour à tous." I'm lucky enough to be able to watch TV5monde on Comcast cable. Also, in the U.S. I cringe when I hear a fellow-American, when ordering in a fast-food restaurant, fail to say "Hi" or "hello" and then say, "Gimme a double cheeseburger and large fries." No "please" either.
Yeah, the "gimme" never sounds great to my ears
Bonjour, Diane. Thank you for your excellent advice. I always enjoy your videos. I wonder whether the French are concerned with practicing the social norms of the US when they come to visit, such as being friendly and making small talk with strangers, within reason.
I think respectful tourists (regardless of nationality or destination) try to learn a little bit about the cultural norms and a few basic words in the country's language before going.
So glad you enjoy my videos!
Those are cool Francophile shopping bags
Salut is not very polite in french, popular word, better to say au revoir
If you know someone a bit, I think it's fine. The girl who worked the front desk at my gym would say it to me and other members all the time (to mean both hey and see ya)
@@OuiInFrance c'est très familier
That's an informal greeting which is OK between friends, acqaintances or e.g. teenagers. But that's definitely not acceptable in formal situations or when greeting strangers.
Exactly, don't say it to your elderly neighbor across the street who you just met but perfectly fine with people you know a bit@@jfrancobelge
You did-Did you not?-mention several times in several videos that it is important to begin social and commercial interactions with a "Bonjour"! I think that you did. Thank you for all your work.
Hi there, I've definitely mentioned it but I've never made a dedicated video on the importance of bonjour and it's THAT important, so it was time. ;-) Thank you!
Same with english. Hi, or Hello
I wonder if this is why no one gave me directions. I asked for directions in French not sure I said bonjour
Definitely a possibility!
True fact! I was lost once in Paris and was a bit freaking out and saw a police officer so I went to him. He turned around, looked at me in disgust and proceeded to correct me with saying ‘Bonjour’ FIRST because I had not said it. Needless to say, I was baffled at his attitude and reaction. It’s the only time I ever was ‘corrected’ in France and I visit often for many years (French is my 1st language) He is the only French person that I will never forget…. what a lasting impression, remembering someone because of his arrogance 😂
Just want to add that I greeted the police officer with ‘Excuse me’ but he wanted ‘Bonjour’
It's not only "excuse me" or "bonjour"... BUT "Bonjour, excuse me"!! 😅
@@veroj9280 not all people that speak French are from or live in France and not all countries wants you to say Bonjour first. If you had read my post properly, you would have seen the ‘I visit’ and don’t live there.
@@J0HN_D03 lol!
Asking for a "bonjour" is not arrogance, just basic courtesy in France and if you speak well French he may have not perceived that you weren't French.
What COULD be seen as arrogance though, is the fact you allow yourself to judge the French standard based on your own culture...
When in Rome, Do as the Romans Do.
Bonjour Diane. Two comments. One, I took two years of French in college, and in the very first semester we had a conversation in our French book in which an American tourist approaches a French police officer on the street and asks directions. The tourist begins by saying, "Pardon, monsieur." Is that an exception to the bonjour rule? Two, I have to disagree with you about entering a doctor's waiting room. In my experience, if I'm waiting with others in an American doctor's waiting room and a stranger walks in and waves at everyone and says, "Hello, everybody," it would be considered odd, at least, and annoying at most. We'd think the person was nuts. People in medical waiting rooms in this country simply don't speak to each other and it's considered normal, not rude. Thank you very much for you videos, you're really good at it. Have a nice day!
Hi there, I think saying "pardon monsieur" is better than launching right into the question but ideally it should start with a bonjour. I've heard people says just "excusez moi" to store employees and they'll repeat bonjour until that's added.
Re: the doctor's room in the US, we're saying the same thing. Apologies for any confusion, but I'm saying it's normal in the US to NOT say a word to other people in the waiting room. It would be unusual to say hello to others already there in the US. In France, that's where the greeting happens as you sit down. So I don't think we're disagreeing. ;-)
So glad you enjoy my content!
Bonjour again, Diane, and merci for your reply. I apologize, I think I misunderstood about the waiting room, and you're right, we're not disagreeing. Merci again for your reply and for your wonderful and informative TH-cam articles.
Superb vlog. Coming from Australia where one is always in a hurry especially in the cities it’s easy just rushing in & out of shops, grabbing what you need & rushing out. No “hello”, no “please” no “thank you & no “goodbye have a great day”. I don’t think I am a rude person but it’s a rat race & we have gotten used to it. First thing I noticed here is as soon as as you open the door to get inside a shop or if entering a shop (not a supermarket nor dept store) but smaller shops where you have to wait your turn it’s the polite to do all if the above which are listed. It makes you feel good, certainly makes the shop keeper more helpful & life is far less complicated than having rude people around. Diane commend you on all the very good content you put out each time. God Bless.
As an Australian I used to always feel that having a person say hello to you from behind a counter was a way to basically guilt you into buying something so learning that in France it's just being pleasant, acknowledging people was nice.
After living in Paris for a while I was in London and went into a small shop to buy a drink. As I was leaving I realised I had acted as I had learned in France, said hello, I would like this please, thank you, goodbye, have a nice day, and the guy in the shop had not said a single word to me.
Also as an Australian I'd never say anything to a stranger in a lift but in France you often say bonjour getting in, when someone esle gets in, and au revoir when you get out.
@@MOEhock I love my home country Australia so what I said was to just make people aware that a little politeness goes a long way.
Totally agree! An so easy.
Salut à la fin, excellent Diane !
Bonjour Diane. Bonjour is bon(good) jour(day), Or G'day in New Zealand-ese. And it is certainly important in France! Another useful word in French is "Monsieur", where you would not use "Mister" in English. "Bonjour Monsieur" can be useful way to open a conversation.
Unless you’re speaking to a woman 😂 (that would be Bonjour Madame/mesdames)
@@sophienussle1135 Naturally. My point (not made clearly) is that there is really no English substitute for Monsieur. Addressing a woman in english with Madam is much more normal than addressing a man with Mister. Instead of Mister you might use Sir which is often too formal or subservient (IMHO).
Hello Diane. Thank you for another interesting video. If I may ask a question, how do you know whether to say bonjour madam or bonjour mademoiselle? Is this by marital status or age? Usually in casual interactions we wouldn’t know if a woman is married or not. Merci.
I feel like mademoiselle has been phased out. I mean, you can say it to a 10-year-old, but people generally say madame as the default to a female adult, regardless of age. Saying just bonjour is fine too.
Thanks!
La première… -:))
Can you say "Excuse Me (you get their attention) then Hello?" In my brain, people hear bonjour all the time (which is good) so they may not know you are talking to them. The "excuse me" alerts them, then say Hello. I ask because I feel it's along the line of do I say Hello or Hi. Ahhhh, language!
Personally, I say more words than necessary, for instance "Excusez-moi, bonjour, oui, pardon, bonjour..." (bonjour twice here) at the beginning of a request, just to make sure they hear their "Bonjour".
Hi Shannon I would say the best practice would be to start with the bonjour, then the excusez-moi. But if you said the bonjour after the excuse me, that's OK. Definitely better than forgetting it entirely. But I'd aim for #1 w/the bonjour first
@@OuiInFrance Thank you!
Mais enfin merci! ( j'en avais gros sur la patate) systématiquement une moitié de mes clients Américains ne disent jamais "hi" ( je travaille au Danemark) et du coup j'ai commencé à les traiter différemment....
C'est fou comme un mot peut tout changer
Bonjour ! Mais les gens font cela parce qu'ils ne se rendent pas compte qu'ils sont impolis ! Ne serait-il pas plus gentil de leur expliquer que là où vous êtes, il est normal de dire " Bonjour " et ensuite, s'ils l'oublient, de le leur rappeler gentiment ?
Excusez-moi si mon français n'est pas parfait - je suis anglaise ! Au Royaume-Uni, nous disons "Hello" ou son équivalent, ou "Excuse me, please can you...", mais beaucoup de gens ne le font pas.
Cependant, ne pas dire "Please / thank you / excuse me" n'est pas être impoli ou désagréable. Parfois, comme l'a dit un autre commentaire, nous pouvons être tellement concentrés sur ce que nous devons dire ou demander, et ce n'est pas parce que nous sommes impolis.
Parfois, cela fait simplement partie de leur culture et le fait de le leur dire ou de le leur rappeler gentiment est une marque de courtoisie. Parfois, ils n'ont pas été élevés dans un environnement où les formules "s'il vous plaît", "merci" et "bonjour" sont la norme.
Salut! Mais les gens font cela parce qu’ils ne réalisent pas qu’ils sont impolis ! Ne serait-il pas plus gentil de leur expliquer que là où l'on est, il est normal de dire "Bonjour" Et après, s'ils oublient, de le leur rappeler gentiment ?
Excusez-moi si mon français n'est pas parfait, je suis anglais ! Au Royaume-Uni, je dirai « Bonjour ». ou son équivalent, ou "Excusez-moi, s'il vous plaît, pouvez-vous..." mais beaucoup de gens ne le font pas.
Cependant, il y a une différence entre ne pas dire « S'il vous plaît / merci / excusez-moi ». Parfois, comme l'a dit la personne qui a également commenté, nous pouvons être tellement concentrés sur la recherche de ce que nous devons dire/demander, et ce n'est pas parce que nous sommes impolis.
Parfois, cela fait simplement partie de leur culture et leur dire/leur rappeler gentiment, c'est leur faire une courtoisie. Parfois, ils n’ont pas été élevés dans un environnement où s’il vous plaît, merci, bonjour, ne sont pas la norme.
Mais aussi, il devient de plus en plus courant de NE PAS utiliser les courtoisies, et je pense que cela s'est produit, dans une large mesure, depuis l'apparition des SMS et des applications où les caractères sont limités.
Il suffit de parcourir n'importe quel ensemble de commentaires ici sur TH-cam et de remarquer à quel point il est rare que « Bonjour ! » est utilisé. Remarquez à quel point, lorsque les gens demandent quelque chose au TH-camr, celui-ci est précédé de « Bonjour », et « S'il vous plaît » et « Merci » ne sont pas utilisés.
Pour moi, je trouve que presque 100% du temps, ce n'est pas intentionnel !!! Si (très rarement !) je suggère gentiment que ces courtoisies amélioreraient sa demande, le résultat peut être que la personne soit brisée, parce qu'elle ne s'en est pas rendu compte, et elle dit : « Oups ! être impoli!!" et parfois la personne est tellement bouleversée qu’on ne la revoit plus.
Je nous rappelle donc comment j'ai commencé ce très long commentaire : "Mais les gens font cela parce qu'ils ne se rendent pas compte qu'ils sont impolis ! Ne serait-il pas plus gentil de leur expliquer que là où vous êtes, il est normal de dire " Bonjour " et ensuite, s'ils l'oublient, de le leur rappeler gentiment ? "
@@MrsBarnabas bonjour j'ai essayé et dans la majorité des cas ils s'offusquent.
Ce qui me surprend c'est que ça semble être presque une norme...
Bizarrement je n'ai pas ce souci avec les Canadiens anglophones
@@hbecphSome are thinking as clients they should be greeting not the other way, it's your job to serve them and be polite to them. And that even more rude to me !
You've talked about how important it is to say bonjour in many videos!
Never a dedicated one only on this topic where I get into the nuances, so it was time! Too important to not properly explain. Thx for watching! ;-)
@@OuiInFrance
Merci.
@@OuiInFrance no, not a dedicated one especially about bonjour! But I know you're the one who's definitely kept me well informed about it. Now I wonder if Montreal is the same. I'm going there next month😊
Bon jour, Diane!
Bonjour!
The world thinks the US is shallow because we ask everyone 'how are you?' Now the French think we are rude because we do not robotically say Bonjour. Dont see the difference.
I do all of the necessary things when I’m in France and make a point to go out of my way to say Bonjour, please , thank you etc. This is off topic, but every time I fly into CDG, where are the signs directing me to customs? I always forget until I land that I will feel like a mouse in a maze until eventually I run into customs. Then I look for the sortie signs, but there is a glass wall between me and the exits. It’s frustrating! Paris is a city that will be hosting the Olympics next year. How hard can it be to post signs clearly for foreigners on how to get the hell out of there?
Also , I nearly missed connections going to and from Annecy on the TGV. I couldn’t find my platforms and almost got stuck in Lyon twice. It was a chaotic nightmare. Again, no signs clearly marked .
My last rant is the New Order concert at the Zénith in Paris. We spent a lot of money on our tickets with assigned seats . We get there and there are no seats because they are taken so I had to stand on a staircase . I was fine with that , but a little pissed when a guy who worked there sarcastically offered to find our seats . I know he was laughing under his breath because we were idiot tourists ? I say Bonjour , bonsoir , Bonjournées etc and it doesn’t always work to receive kindness or help in return. The concert was oversold which means that too many people were in that stadium which is a fire hazard and illegal in the United States. As much as I love France, they get a low score on customer service at a lot of places . Trying to get a Navigo Découverte ? You can’t get one unless you take a photo at a specific size in one of the photo booths. The ones in CDG were all out of order. I knew about that months before I went through an English friend and sure enough it hadn’t changed so I settled for a Navigo easy . Whatever. I’m easy going , but a lot of things that shouldn’t be so difficult are left difficult because I guess that’s just a part of French culture . Not big on customer service and really could careless making lives more difficult and could give a rat’s ass about making profits? . I guess I’m a brainwashed capitalist.
Sorry for my rant, but who else am I going to say this to? I love you and all of your wonderful videos. Thank you Diane ❤️🇫🇷
Hi there, yes, CDG can be a bit confusing and even stressful if you have a tight connection. The construction that's been going on for a while now got me all mixed up last time I was there when they had me go to terminal G instead of the one my flights normally depart from. I was going the wrong way. Oops.
Very true that customer service is different here. But I must say, over my time in France it's definitely improved!
Thx for your support ;-))
00:08 Bonjour in English is good morning, Hello it would be salut in French.
That's not correct. Bonjour, as I said in the video, literally means "good day/hello" in English and is fine to say up until the evening. It doesn't refer to the morning only. Salut, on the other hand, is quite informal and is not a word you want to use in a professional context or with people you don't know well. Salut means "hey" or sometimes "see ya" in lieu of au revoir. It definitely is not a bonjour substitute.
@@OuiInFrance In the USA do we use the word hello in all circumstances? Faced with strangers, representatives of the administration, the president?
@@danguid2753 There's the proper context for hello/bonjour and hey/salut in both languages. What I was replying to was you saying that bonjour means good morning and salut means hello, which is incorrect.
@@OuiInFrance In France you can use the word Bonjour in any circumstance, whether it is a friend, a stranger or an important personality. This is not the case with hello, you will have to use it to be respectful, remain polite and keep a distance according to the time of day, good morning, good afternoon or good evening. There are subtleties in French that do not exist in English, bonjour is an example, translating it by hello simplifies its meaning.
I really think it’s a cultural thing. I doubt that it’s to do with being polite ! Because the Americans are far more friendly than the French ! So how can Americans be rude , let’s say ?! Naaaah. It’s a cultural things. Thank yuu
Absolutely, and I apologize if I made it sound like it's just a matter of politeness. Baseline social politeness is a step up in France from the US but it certainly doesn't mean the French are more friendly or more rude or more anything across the board. It's a social formality, as I said. You can find super rude people on both sides of the Atlantic for sure!
😂😂😂 I met many unfriendly American people in USA... stop with your clichés.
@@J0HN_D03 exactly, you’re proving my point. We’re saying the same thing. There are, of course, unfriendly people in the United States. Just like there are super friendly people in France and vice versa. 😊
The point in my video that is super important is that there’s a different level a baseline social politeness. Nothing to do with people being friendly, but just a social formality.
@@OuiInFrance 👍🏻👏🏻
@@OuiInFrance
D’accord.
Je suis Français l'ai toujours été et pour moi une personne (commerçant, etc.) qui exige le mot magique "Bonjour" est le signe de son étroitesse d'esprit et j'ai tendance à la ranger dans les personnes toxiques, surtout quand on est resté bienveillant dans la requête. Vouloir imposer sa politesse est, pour moi, une forme d'irrespect plus grande que celle qui supposément est reprochée.
Je suis tres d’accord avec vous. C’est exactement comment on se resent lorsque quelqu’un fait ca.
oui demander un bonjour est inélégant et signe d'agressivité. Si la personne oublie mais demande gentiment ce n'est pas grave
Bonjour…?!
Honnêtement…? Baguette, j‘ai
toujours pensé… -:)