Shop my collection of head wraps & Modest dresses | www.themodestfitting.com/ The book review videos on Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus will resume shortly. 😊 To submit a ‘PLEASE ASVISE’ submission check the description box for more info.
I got flewed out while dating 😂🙈 my now husband and I lived in different states when we met. When we were dating he would buy me a plane ticket and I would stay with his parents or he would come stay with mine. But like you guys said, we were serious about marriage and those visits were to head direction. We were engaged technically after only a handful of dates 😅 but countless phone convos. Going on six years of wonderful marriage ❤️❤️
That's different that getting flu ed out alone with some strange guy in his hotel room for couple nights. Smacks of prostitution. And many did not make it back home.
Your story sounds like mine. 🥺 We always had a shaparone (grateful to those) but he flew to where I was. He invested a lot financially for us and I will always be grateful for it ❤❤.
Ideally, dating should take no longer than a year, BUT unfortunately, many young people today (even Christians) aren't mature enough to know how to best "gather data" and end up wasting time and being really slow in the dating process. I think young people aren't taught well enought by parents, teachers, other Christians etc on how to prepare for dating and marriage.
@tatianapatricia9551 I couldn’t agree more. My parents expected me to be married at some point but they never taught me how. So essentially I was taught what to look for in a mate but the path there was never explained to me. They actually spent more time and energy making sure I had a good education and securing a job. I have wonderful btw but I realized if I’m ever blessed with kids I will make sure they’re not in the dark about this matter
Modern day busy lifestyle plays a role as well. My family was entrenched in a strict Pentecostal organization and they did what you said, marry couples within 3 to 6 months of announcing their intentions. Some remained well and some ended in chaos. There are too many factors that are not considered when criticizing couples who take 9 months to 1 year to make a decision. We are living in a more complex world, in an environment that is not supportive of marriage and the innocence of children is under attack daily. We have to ask ALL of the hard questions and gauge where that person stands on finance, childrearing, roles, politics, spiritual life etc. There are many people who claim to be disciples of Christ and are not. There are vagabonds infiltrating churches daily looking for gullible, single, desperate women and men to waste time with. So today, if it takes a 6 months or more so be it. And add premarital counseling to that.
I do agree with this statement. I just stayed in a hotel the last couple days and there’s was a youth group staying in the hotel. I was on the same floor as them and these kids (ages 17-20ish) were in no way anywhere near the age of someone who should be getting married.
Cam is very wise. He understands the heart of a woman well, and the weakness of men. Part of deciding to marry someone is having faith and trusting God. You'll not know everything about the person before you marry them. I married my husband in 6 weeks. We've been married for 22 years now.
I appreciate this. I married my wife within 3month of intentional courting to marry. Establishing like-minded/one-minded beliefs, and life goals . 🙏🏿🙏🏿young love is priceless where both can grow with eachother , and learn eachother. Praise & Glory to The Lord
I'm 54. Never been married or had kids. I've lived on 4 continents and had lots of adventures. If I waited for a husband to do these things I'd be really bitter.
Same but age 45. There are no guarantees in life. I've spent my past decades in adventure while building wonderful friendships. I've gone on SO many introductory dates but very few men have made it past second dates because I didn't find them suitable. The last guy made it to 4 months before a lot of truth came out. #thankyouJesus My longest relationship was about 18 months. It ended in a broken engagement 6 weeks before the wedding. To secular people that is a "short" relationship! I've been talked down to about it by many secular people but I'm not out here with a goal to have a "boyfriend." I'm in the husband market! *smh*
@@BearingMySeoulI feel like this too. I definitely don't think people should be sleeping with each other or having super long commitments before marriage BUT sometimes there are very important things about a person that you can't learn within a short period of time - it takes time to even see a person's commitment to God
@@hdskl2150 Pray that God will show them to you EARLY. It doesn't take God much time to reveal the direction you should go! That's why the last guy only got 4 months. He called himself a believer, prayed over every meal, went to Bible study, and was VERY clever but the Holy Spirit instructed me to get up early every morning and pray in tongues for 30 minutes. Had I not, I'm convinced I would have been caught up in confusion with him for much, much longer. At the time of breakup, I could sense enough to know that it was time to say goodbye. I've found out more stuff he was into since then and I'm positive I STILL don't know it all!!! *smh*
Thank you, Sister & Brother! I dated a Christian Man for 3 years, but not once did he mention marriage. We weren't intimate. He broke up with me of & on. It was painful, & I said enough is enough. Now I'm healing. Prayers appreciated it! I have learned so much! He was not non emotional available! Love you, sister! It was lust, not love. I learned so much!! I've learned so much! Sisters, that might be reading this learn from this, lovingly! I pray for the husband that God has for me. God bless!
Were you giving him money? I am wondering what he was getting out of it. Why in the world didn't YOU talk about marriage the first month? You need to be wife-material and then.don't waste time with men who arent courting you for marriage. Do you have a good father to advise you about men?
@@nadorriff9197easy you can lust after someone and not sleep with them. In the Bible it even talks about if you lust after someone within your heart ( not even physically doing anything thing ) then you already committed adultery.
@@pettylilthingSexual desire makes men go for the gold, not pay for dates and stick around for THREE YEARS to get nowhere.. A decent, Christian man, who has sexual desire for you, respects you, and loves you will want the goodies.... and he will marry you ASAP. Men who don't fear God, don't respect you, or love you will only want the goodies - IF they are easy to get It makes no sense for a man to date you out of lust, for 3 years, and get no xxx. Did this man actually rake her out on dates and pay for them? I doubt it. You and the original poster don't seem to understand men. Don't ya'll have fathers, or even older brothers, or something to school you?
My brother and his wife did the same thing. They got to know each other and married within 6 months. They were married for 42 years. His wife went home 1-1/2 years ago and he was lost without her. He really wanted to go with her.
I really like how Bindi and Cam are really 'black and white.' You rarely see married couples who have strong convictions in dating. And also are practical. I like it. Thank you guys for your candidness, practicality and humor! :) Keep em coming!
Y’all are so cute together! Yes, I agree three months is a good time. I met my husband in September, he proposed in November, and we were married in July = 10 months total from dating to marriage. You have to have deep and fluid conversations and set firm boundaries in terms of intimacy, intent and expectations. Oh yea… I agree… don’t be getting “flew-ed out” limit over-night stays/trips.
Growing up my mother always told me dating is for marriage. Unfortunately, she allowed me to start dating at 16(group of friends going out together). I was just to immature and had a carnal mindset. Which lead to heartache and sorrow. I now know that 16 was not an appropriate age for me. I absolutely agree that if you already know the person a short dating window is fine. Also, I think it is wise to never be completely alone together. Even the most respectful and loving persons can end up making a wrong decision, in the right environment!
@@pettylilthing People are in no rush to get married because they are clapping cheeks fior 3 yesrs, seeing if they could find someone better. God doesnt wink at fornication.
@@canelareina3795 I know quite a few people who took 3-3 1/2 year to get married who never fornicated. It’s very much possible it just depends on circumstances.
Totally agree with your husband on this one. Traveling together before marriage shouldn't happen. Its just unnecessary temptation for fornication. -Aubriel
Great perspective. I think for Christian singles you shouldn't date until your ready to marry. No teen dating. No dating to try things out. Father's need to teach their sons how and when to pursue a wife. And fathers needs to guard their daughters and guide them in the courtship process so there is no confusion about boundaries or expectations.
I agree. As a Christian single, I have felt the pressure to be I'm a relationship, but I know that I am not ready and God has been giving me so much grace to wait. So that's what I'll do, wait, and He will make it happen when it's time.
I think it’s so dangerous to say that 3 months is enough time to “know”. Knowing for sure in only 3 months is absolutely not the norm. If I had agreed to marry my ex that fast, keeping in mind this was in fact a chaste and intentional relationship, I would’ve ruined my life. He hid many things from me that didn’t come out until the 6 month mark, by the 8th I had enough information to know we would not be compatible in marraige. We had talked about it and had every intention to marry, but by that point when I finally broke up with him I knew the Lord wouldn’t have wanted us to marry, and I’m beyond thankful I never felt any outside pressure from anyone to move that fast with him.
Well, this is why prayer is of the utmost importance! God knows the exact timing for every situation. I've had a broken engagement and God spared me indeed! Every situation is unique. That's why Jesus left us the Holy Spirit!
@@camilouwalkPeople, especially Christians, have to ask for discernment from God. Discernment will help you catch the red flags. You don't need 6 months to catch red flags. Christ said you will know them by their fruit Matt 7:15-20. You will see them right away, and God will help you. You must think with wisdom and not feelings. When people think with feelings, they miss red flags, or overlook them. It took no time for me to catch that this pastor I was talking to was arrogant and full of himself. That was a red flag. After talking long distance for a few weeks, I told him that I'll call him in a few weeks because I was in college and working and was overwhelmed. After maybe 3 weeks, I called him. He made it short and said he had to go. It was obvious he never had a woman set him aside, even for something important. He told me about his past prior to our break and that he was able to date any woman and that he played most of them. He said he repented from that lifestyle. Although I believe he had repented, there were things he still needed to work on. Years later I found out he had gotten married. The marriage didn't last. He married a second time, and no longer in the church of our faith. He's leading some prosperity gospel church which was not of our faith. He has pictures of himself sporting his Rolex and expensive car. I was right. He was too full of self. It didn't take me not even a month to see that. Everything else about him was good. He was handsome, ambitious, hardworking, educated, and working towards bettering his relationship with God. It doesn't matter. God truly knows when we are ready for marriage.
I agree with the husband. As women we aren’t seeing it the same way because we’re more in tune with our feelings. Listening to him was like hearing my husband. I’ve learned to listen because the way men and women think is as different as day and night. Also… I love the vibe! 😂
A long distance relationship would be a situation where you wouldn't be meeting frequently. This was the case with my husband and me. We lived about 700 miles apart, and were only able to meet infrequently, but we did message each other daily, and video chat twice a week. It worked out great, but it did take a little longer than if we were seeing each other weekly. 😁
You’re literally describing my relationship to the T. 😂 lol Thanks for sharing! How long were y’all together before engagement and marriage if you don’t mind my asking?
@@GinaA We started talking in March of 2017, started an official relationship (dating with the intention of leading to marriage) in October of that year. Engaged the next November (2018) married the next spring. Our engagement lasted 4.5 months. 😁
This is my current relationship as well. We've been long distance now for 3 years. We're looking to come together within the next few months and take our relationship to the next level.
@@rekanova3757 I don’t know your LDR situation as maybe there are other circumstances of work etc Hope and pray that you guys move towards that as soon as possible as that’s a long time to be in a relationship. Just for temptations sake as well. You want to make sure marriage is something you both truly want with one another and that it’s also the best thing for you two to be together and move forward to that next step.
Yes! My husband and I had a long distance relationship too. He worked nights and was only off one day a week (because he also preached on Sundays). He drove 2.5 hours every Monday (his only night off) to take me out on a date for two years while I finished college (a stipulation that my parents placed since he lives in a rural area and there were no colleges near his house), so we generally only saw each other once a week. But we knew that we wanted to get married within a month or so, and were engaged around 4 months in. We are now going on 14 years of a happy marriage with 3 kiddos. ❤️😄🙌
Tony Gaskins have been saying these things for a decade. I highly recommend his channel when it comes to dating and marriage for god fearing people. He's one of the few dating coaches that don't feed into modern culture, and that are honest.
Agreed! And when you pray and God reveals red flags…don’t ignore! I think that’s a lot of people’s issue…they pray but ignore Gods answers. That’s where the lack of obedience come in!
I love their different opinions on the flewed out separate room issue because I would be with Bindi bit I'm learning everyday how different men and woman's expectations and appetites are.
My husband and I got engaged at 8 months and married at 10 months. It was rrrrrough prior to marriage. I was pushing his limits and he set a boundary that if I crossed it, that was it. I knew what I had so I said time to let go of my pride and let God. Now it's been 4 years and I love every moment with my man. He's my confidant and my best friend. I see that in y'all's marriage and I love it.
Right! We really need to heed what he's saying about timeline too. As women, we want to talk every day all the time but it's true that many good men give more focus to their work and existing responsibilities UNTIL they see the woman as their person. While a super romantic man might see that right away, but a lot of men would need more time.
I’m a maturer woman and I absolutely ❤these conversations…. This generation needs this…. I was married to my college sweetheart and later divorced…. I do believe that it was a mistake to divorce…. So these conversations need to happen, my family is a family of marriage …. Yes intentional! Do not go around dating especially on these apps…. That is too much for the soul to handle …. Nope it doesn’t take a year ❤😢thank you both!!!!!! I am now encouraging young women to not stay in a long term relationship , even my daughters, after 3-4 years 😢and then not married , we speak about sex and I share it’s for marriage…. I made many mistakes …. But I tell them to wait and be patient and enjoy life…. Let God…. I even speak on my divorce
Lol I loved this 😂 I often times find myself being scared to watch Christian TH-cam content because it can come off as stuffy and judgmental and just how you kinda described people adding things to the Bible to fit a certain lifestyle that is often times restricting. But this was so refreshing and fun and wholesome!!!!! As married woman who is of a similar age I can totally relate to this 😂 Edited to add: I don’t like giving a time limit. I agree that it shouldn’t be that long but I think 3 months is too short, I say that because often times people can show the best parts of themselves in the beginning and then be a completely different person later on, I want to be able to see how you handle conflict and resolution, I want to see your temperance. I believe in 3 months time a person is still in that rose tented glasses phase where it’s possible you are not seeing that real person. Obviously you can ask god for discernment, but none of us are perfect and will still find ourselves in compromising positions with a man or woman that we may have thought was the one. This can happen even in the long term but I honestly believe it’s less likely. Cause eventually that mask will slip if you give it enough time. Marriage is too huge of a commitment to just be jumping in. Especially if you are of the belief that divorce is not a option. if someone is pushing too hard for it too early I may see that as a red flag as well. Over all though I agree. Dating is for marriage. And maybe no longer then a year (at most in my opinion). Maybe less, maybe more but definitely not for an extreme amount of time.
Yeah. I think one year is good ESPECIALLY for young people since they don't know themselves or life very well. If you've never had sex, it's a lot easier to not have sex so younger people have an advantage in this.
Fun video, Mr. and Mrs. Marc! I agree with your husband, Bindi. If you’re getting “flewed out” by a man, then he’s definitely expecting “wifely output”. A trip bonds people emotionally, vacations open doors for romance and as I’ve read in For Women Only, men (husbands in terms of the book) seek to wrap up a good date with physical intimacy. It’s like a cherry on top of the sundae. Instead of delaying fun trips and similar experiences, the lady should enjoy them with girlfriends only or a group of like-minded people as y’all suggested. For dating vs. courting essentials, check out Choosing God's Best by Dr. Don Raunikar. He cites history and the Bible to define dating and courting, compares the two concepts and gives practical tips on how to court in a way that honor’s God. BINDI, I think I’ve discovered a book you’ll love just as much as The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. It’s called For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. The author does not characterize men in feminine ways. She uses survey data and quotes from men so we, women, hear it straight from them. Then she advises us on how to relate to men how THEY want/need. I thought it was a secular book initially, but it’s written by a Christian woman who seems to be in alignment with the Bible. At the end of For Women Only, she literally names the believers who prayed over the book and guided her throughout the process. That was dope. She’s also quick to point out how the thoughts of churchgoing, Christian men compare with non-Christians’ thoughts. I devoured the book in the 3 days. Also, I can vouch for Janice Hylton Thompson. Her books, videos and classes are THE REAL DEAL! Sometimes, she’ll preach a good word. I was not a Bible reader when she taught me that marriage is the picture of how Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). She also discusses how to date for data while abstaining from sex, how to gather data from (“date”) multiple men at the same time and eventually cut men who don’t meet your criteria from the roster. She did not practice exclusivity before getting engaged to her husband at 34. I appreciate her life story and raw teaching delivery. BINDI, a talk with you and Janice and dating principles would be dynamite! Bishop R.C. Blakes Jr. is another great advisor in terms of how women should heal and develop themselves, date and vet men.
I agree with most of these points because I've been dating a man for one year and believe we should be married sooner than later. Also, I like that we get to see 'Bindi's' personality more in this comfortable setting with the hubs. Thanks for sharing, y'all!
🌹 I loved this conversation! Having man's perspective helps keep us grounded. You two are funny and Joyce your guard was let down with your husband. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing. Your personality definitely came out more! I look forward to more husband & wide chats in the future. Thanks so much!🌹🌹🌹
I agree with your husband on the point about sharing certain experiences (like traveling) with a potential candidate for marriage. It’s not a rule or law, but it could be considered wise advice because those experiences could become baggage if you do go on to marry someone else. You may develop fond memories of this place or that experience and it’s attached to this other person. I’m not saying don’t go on “dates”, but I think certain dates should be reserved for after the proposal or something (I don’t have all the answers on this. Just my perspective). I also believe in group experiences and public spaces over one on one experiences for the early part of getting to know someone. Although there are no scriptures to say “don’t go on dates” 1 cor 7:1 does say “it’s is good for a man not to touch a woman”..those potentially romantic touches (even the most basic like holding hands, arms around shoulders, kisses, etc) can cause arousal (or just really lovey dovey feelings) if you are really attracted and becoming attached to a person. Also, even people with good intentions can fall into fornication when ending up alone with this person because attraction is real, and the enemy is right there ready to HELP you fall.
18:28 Bindi: “I’m assuming good intentions.”, Kam/Cam: “I’m not.”, 😂… Classic distinction between Adam and Eve - Eve (most likely) assumed that the serpent had “good intentions” with his lie to her in the garden, hence not seeing the lie as a lie. Whereas Adam wouldn’t have assumed that the serpent had “good intentions” if he brought that same nonsense to him, and would have nipped it in the bud by crushing the serpent’s head with his heel!
Haven't even made it past the 5-minute marker, Binidi, your husband's face!!! He was over it before the question was even halfway done. Hilarious!! Love ya'lls energy together.
Yes sir, your husband is so on point on all of his points. A true God fearing man who is seeking to honour God above all else. God bless you both and may your marriage continue to flourish!
whoooah Bindi sister as a man your husband was spot on. Her remark about being shelter was like a guilt comment when you guys read it someone should feel bad about "Not having experiences and being sheltered". That's like a teenager saying my parents won't let me go to the club and live my life they keep me sheltered. There's good reason for the sheltering lol. We are called to have temperance/self control. Seem like the young lady was tryna slide though the crack about getting flewed out. your husband peeped game though. God bless you two
Love what you guys said about this topic. I also would say its a case by case basis, how quickly the two of you move in the direction of marriage. Being prayerful & seeking the Lord is of course key. My husband & I met on my Birthday May 15th, & he asked me to marry him a month later. He lives in Florida & I am in Atlanta, so our wedding will take place once I move out there, September 2nd ❤️
This was actually very helpful. I wish my parents had talked to me about these things when I was younger, I wouldn't have wasted so many years trying to figure out life with men who weren't going to be there for it. At least I can have these discussions with my own children so they can make better decisions.
I married within 3 months of 'dating/courting'. We were both adults, living away from our parents (I was in another city working and he was a backpacker living with his friends) and we just knew it was gonna be marriage or he flies back home. I think of Paul's words about marrying instead of burning with lust. It is so true. God has been so faithful to us. We celebrate 13 years in November this year and have 6 children.
My husband and I met and married within 3 months. When you know, you know. There is no “data gathering”, it’s intuition, smart questions and unbiased assessment.
This was a really interesting discussion. I think it depends what the ‘life experiences’ are. Travelling one-on-one with a person of the opposite gender is probably unwise, especially if it isolates you from community who know you and can hold you accountable. Certain things should be reserved for marriage. However, my concern is that trying to ‘shelter and preserve’ yourself for your future spouse is motivated by fear of being hurt rather than trusting in God through whatever the outcome is. We might dream of marrying the first person we ever date, but that’s not guaranteed and could lead to hasty commitments. Small life experiences are necessary to discern a person’s character and integrity. Discussing values can only go so far - in challenging circumstances do they actually life those out? Don’t just believe everything someone says, even if they believe they’re being honest. Take time to discern from observing their reactions in a variety of situations and with a variety of people. Trying to skip straight to marriage without opening yourself up to getting to know someone and the vulnerability that it might not work out is impractical in most cases. Yes, guard your heart, but forming relationships (whether romantic, friendships, or otherwise) involves the risk of being hurt. Rely on God through it all and stay in good community. That said, the getting to know each other and discernment process shouldn’t last forever. Don’t feel pressured to rush into marriage too soon - marriage shouldn’t be an idol. But equally, don’t hang around ‘dating’ the same person for multiple years. Christians should progress to marriage sooner than non-Christians tend to do in the world today. Save acting like you’re married until you’re married, but don’t hide from innocent life experiences under the guise of ‘sheltering and preserving’ yourself for your future husband. Live life for God and what pleases Him, not what you hope for in a future spouse. That may look different for different people - there’s beauty in the diversity of God’s kingdom!
Based on my experience , you have to be very intentional when choosing a person you will be spending the rest of your life with. My husband and I got married within a year. There are couples who take a shorter time, but I don't think the relationship process should take more than a year. 4 months or less each phase Phase one: Dating (Foundation of Friendship is formed) Phase two : Courtship (Promise Ring ) Phase three: Engagement (Engagement Ring) Phase four : Marriage (Wedding) Questions should cover everything biblical stances, family values,financial, EVERYTHING, etc. PRAYER IS KEY Proverbs 3: 5-7( the commitment between is between the two people and God... Have to put Him first follow His leading) No fear is allowed... if you're not vulnerable and comfortable talking about all subjects, then that's not your person. I love all of your videos... esp.ones with your husband. I totally agree with you both, esp. In this video, I agree completely with his viewpoint. Lol There are "passport women" who travel to hook up. This definitely should not be advised or practiced. Women of God should not be living and behaving like those of the world. Yaweh bless you both and your family
I think with the relationship process it really depends the situation in which how long it takes you to get married. Plus for some people it takes a good while to plan and get the wedding together. But it definitely doesn’t take more than 2 possibly 3 in some cases to get married.
@pettylilthing yes, I understand that wedding planning can be daunting and might take some time but if you just want a nice beautiful simple wedding then you should be fine. There are TH-cam videos instructing on how to get the wedding planned in months. That could be a good resource. A man knows who he will or wants to marry very quickly, and to prevent him from stringing the woman along for years, the intentions have to be known up front or that may be results. Esp. If you live a Godly life where lust, fornication, and the such are prohibited, then the wait will be shorter. The longer the wait, the greater the temptation
I definitely agree with not putting yourself in compromising situations. I think trying new activities together that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable doing with your friends is acceptable because that person should be your friend before they become your spouse. I also really enjoyed watching you and your husband comedically disagree. It's nice to see a healthy couple communicate and disagree in a healthy, respectful way. Love your channel! Can't wait for more!
Such a great topic! Thank you for doing this video :-) I’m with your husband. I have a daughter and I would advise against traveling together - doesn’t matter who is paying. I don’t know what kind of life experiences she was referring to but I believe in a short courtship so, we are not talking about a long time to delay gratify to have the rest of your life to share experiences together. Also, I don’t think it’s legalistic to have no contact while courting. Lust, adultery, it’s begins in the heart, not with the actual act. (Matthew 5:27-28) That’s when it’s full grown (James 1:15). The spirit is willing but we know the flesh is weak. We are call to run from sin not play with it, hold hands with it, not hug it, not kiss it. Again, I believe in a short courtship (our timeline was similar to you and your hubby’s) so it does take long to get to the intimacy (hugs, holding hands, kissing etc.) You can wait 6 months until marriage…we are called to practice self control anyway. Just my 2 cents…modesty begins in the heart and this is one way we are reaching our son and daughter about modesty. I tell my son it’s not a good look to be huggin’ up on someone’s daughter. Lol She is under her Dad’s covering still. When you’re married, live your best life and show the world what a loving Christian marriage looks like.
Bindi your laugh is so cute !! I loved these talks to see different perspectives!!my favorite 18:30-22:00 lollll you guys are too funny. I didn’t know I needed this wisdom until today but everything is making sense now
The experience thing is real!!! You traveling the world with a dude, having these experiences, your mind is attaching on a whole different level. The likeliness to sin is even higher! We courting, no way we should be traveling the world together!
Bible says that we should abstain from apoearance of evil. My sister, your husband is right. People commit fornication when we over trust our human body abilities when it comes to sexual drive.
I understand the abstaining from life experiences to be had with your husband, because if you do everything what experiences are reserved just for him, and i know a lot of people are gonna be like well you can just do it again with him later, but for anyone who is married myself included i have seen the joy and elation on my husbands face when he gets to give me that first time experience what ever it is, when he gets to be the one to teach me what something is or how to do something, which is why i am for marriage young because you're less likely to have a bunch of life experiences and because youre still young you dont feel like you've missed out.
This was an amazing conversation to listen to as a single young Christian woman. I personally think 3 months is enough if I have known the person before the 3 months ie. for example if we are in school or maybe church together. I also heard the question in the context of life experiences like seeing new things and experiences things overseas with a man that is not your husband.
In my fellowship “icc” we don’t do anything alone with women and we reframe from making emotional connections with the opposite gender unless we officially publicly start dating. And we have discipleship times we’re we court each other with guidance of the leaders God placed in our life. We don’t believe in kissing before marriage or even looking like sin. Being alone with a woman looks as if you guys are intimate with each other in others eyes and so we are all things to all men and we help each other remain pure
Love it! Open honest and real conversations. It’s good to see this on camera. More future topics/ video ideas. -Training up your children. The intentionality God calls us to . -Insecure as a Single woman(scared of liking a man because I might fornicate) -Money in marriage (same account, same/ different investments, who pays the bill) -the things I wish I knew before I got married . Thank you Bindi. We literally have a wives texting group because of you. Keeping one another accountable and discussing your videos together. 🤗🤗🤗 You are an inspiration Al the way in Alabama.
I would recommend that any activity that A man and A woman do together has to pass what I’ll call “the scrapbook test.” If you are sharing this level of experiences (the kind that a married couple/family might put in a scrapbook), then you are creating too much history together considering the lack of commitment. Save the memory-making experiences for someone worth remembering, and spare your future spouse the dating stories that they are not part of.
@@nessparadis6948 That varies depending on what impacts you. Scrapbooks tend to have pictures, mementos, etc., that take you back to that experience mentally and emotionally. Even without making a scrapbook, these experiences can take up precious real estate in our memories. It’s just precautionary advice meant to protect the hearts of you, your future spouse, and your current interest (which may or may not become that future spouse). Thank you for considering my comment.
Yall are hilarious. I really enjoyed this 😂. Please do more togethr. I just love your dynamic ✨️ and bindi seems so spicy and comfortable when you two are toghter . Not that she isnt great alone , but i just enjoy the dynamic 😉
I agree with your husband. She means doing things, traveling, living and doing all of these thing with a boyfriend they dont see themselves married to. They are having these experiences with a man other than a husband
I think one problem when it comes to this topic is that it isn't even clear what the term 'dating' means so it's hard to talk about with clarity. I understand it as going on dates/outings with someone, with an emphasis on time to talk and getting to know one another, with the intent of determining if they are the person you will marry. It is clearly temporary and either leads to the decision to enter into a relationship and get married soon or end the dating soon if it isn't right. Which I think is good and necessary. But oftentimes now when people say they are 'dating' someone they could just mean they are sleeping with that person without any other connection or commitment. So I think the term has become very vague and it needs be clarified what kind of 'dating' one is talking about when discussing the topic.
To add, I think the dating process should only happen if you are ready and looking to be married, if you're not there is no need to date. Another thing I'd like to say is that it is important to have at least some experiences together to see how the potential partner behaves in different situations and if what they say they stand for and believe in matches how they act. Which can ideally be observed in groups, at church etc. beforehand anyway. Being part of a local church together is a particular blessing in this process I think.
When my fiancé and I got to know each other it did feel like business meetings sometimes XD It wasn't even comfortable much of the time. We mostly went on long walks and talked about all the hard and controversial topics, our faith, how we imagine the future, role of man and woman... We had some nice moments but it was mostly as you said 'gathering data'. Both of us consciously didn't allow ourselves nurture our (growing) feelings towards the other in our heart until we had determined these things. I believe because we did this process quite rigorously once we decided to go towards marriage together the romance and fun came so easy, it was like a switch flipped.
Also agree with the writers meaning on life experiences cause when you look vack at memories you want to tell your story of your soulmate not oh this ex took me herr and this guy took me there. When we talk to our kids one day about our lives it should only be about their dad or mom. The nostalgia should only be with your partner no reminiscing on past experiences with past loves.
Whew this video had me cracking up. I absolutely agree with your husband. He read that letter correctly lol ! I really enjoyed the conversation and candidness you both provided. More talk like these please!
The way Cam said they could go to a restaurant "Down da street" had me cackling in my office lol yall better speak on it!! Ain't no flewd out over here 😂😂
Motives are at the center there should be a mutual understanding to see if the person is a suitable mate for marriage. I would also add families participating in the outings!
The time thing is personal preference because what if yall don't live close so you can't see each other alit ? What if they are in another country ? It's situational.
Thanks a lot for the video. Your conversation goes along way in correcting many young people and even christian adults who are in wrong relationship called dating. If all preacher and teachers of gospels will on truth to spell it out the danger and sinful lives many christians are living today and pretends is okay and they are good, many people will be free from this Bondage of sexual immorality. Thanks and God bless you all. 💓
I love seeing you two together and thank you for showing that a Christian marriage is beautiful! You two are so evenly yoked! God reigns! I too agree that it doesn’t take long to realize if the person you are dating is right or not!
I certainly enjoy your program, all the way from southern Nigeria. Would you mind looking at 'Courtship, Character and Conduct' by William Marrion Branham at your spare time? Keep it up.
Lol love watching you two! Yes I completely agree I started dating my old coworker but the first time we meet up together in a dating relationship he said asked if u want kids and I was like yes, and we we’re married in less then 5 months. When he proposed it was like just for the sake of proposing cause we had already talked and decided we were getting married soon. If you are dating you can see yourself getting married to him if that ever changes in the dating process you should no long be seeing each other. Otherwise you are wasting his and your time.
She's not saying not having life experiences but when you having experiences with a man you should reserve for your husband. There's a rhythm and blues song called "back down memory lane". If you do get married to someone else and have a time of discontentment, the enemy will use this. And as if my young brother, your husband said, he's a man. And men know men.
My husband and I had a long-distance relationship and I had to either dry or fly out to see him a couple of times a month. After three months of knowing each other he began looking around for rings. At eight months he proposed before he deployed to the Middle East. At a year he was back in the states and we were married. It’s now been 18 years of a loving and happy marriage. Every day my heart is grateful to God for this man. A godly marriage is a deep and beautiful thing. 💕 💍
I see the point of the year because sometimes couples could be going to a different college or it’s long distance like a friend of mine. Ultimately it worked for them and they are getting married and my friend is moving away. ALSO sometimes people are different in certain seasons. Like when it rains more, gets cold and grey, some people develop depression, but if you only know them when it’s warm and sunny, you may not get that information before getting married.
The time frame of marriage could depend long distance. I reconnected with my current spouse while in different states until eventually one of us moved close to each other. But I agree it should not take too long ideally.
3 months seems very short to know if you gonna spend your whole life with someone. I agree there should at least be a commitment after 3 months but I think your situation was the exception not the rule. Just my opinion.
I remember looking at one of the Red Pills content about it's a red flag that women wanted to get married and have kids within a short period of time. They just met the husband to be and the women wanted to hurry and get things locked down because they wasted all they're time and youth all in they're 20's. Watching this helped me understand even more the reasoning and it helped me a lot. Don't get me wrong the first part rings true, it's just seems everyone started to listen to they're aunties and grandmas or even moms of getting a decent husband to be. I even finally understand why my aunt said "you should get married within a year with that person." make so much sense now. Everything in this video just help me understand and where to put my foot down on. Thank you for this too.
I agree with your husband as it pertains to dating. I disagree that he shouldn't pay for travel for Mother. Providing for our parents is an honor. Especially if the Mother or Father can't afford to pay for a necessary service or travel expenses.
Great commentary. Ran into your content by chance a few minutes ago and I found it interesting. Thank you for also adding both a male and female perspective to each of the Q&As - in this case, the one. Something to think about - some people are deployed overseas, in the Armed Forces, et cetera and may meet someone online and aren’t meeting frequently. I just ask that those Professionals are considered as well. It can be a struggle navigating through the dating world as a successful military career man or woman that doesn’t have the luxury to traditionally date with a purpose and end goal especially in these 2023 streets. Lol!
Long distance relationships do exist- where both partners literally live worlds apart (and all they have is social media to communicate). The process would then take much longer than the 6 month to 1 year rule. right?
Shop my collection of head wraps & Modest dresses | www.themodestfitting.com/
The book review videos on Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus will resume shortly. 😊
To submit a ‘PLEASE ASVISE’ submission check the description box for more info.
what to do if the husband wants to do an**lsex? is it a sin?
I got flewed out while dating 😂🙈 my now husband and I lived in different states when we met. When we were dating he would buy me a plane ticket and I would stay with his parents or he would come stay with mine. But like you guys said, we were serious about marriage and those visits were to head direction. We were engaged technically after only a handful of dates 😅 but countless phone convos. Going on six years of wonderful marriage ❤️❤️
That's different that getting flu ed out alone with some strange guy in his hotel room for couple nights. Smacks of prostitution. And many did not make it back home.
Sweet!Together forever😊
Yes that’s an appropriate way to do it. But secular people are engaging in s*x and running around traveling together.
Your story sounds like mine. 🥺 We always had a shaparone (grateful to those) but he flew to where I was. He invested a lot financially for us and I will always be grateful for it ❤❤.
❤❤❤
Ideally, dating should take no longer than a year, BUT unfortunately, many young people today (even Christians) aren't mature enough to know how to best "gather data" and end up wasting time and being really slow in the dating process. I think young people aren't taught well enought by parents, teachers, other Christians etc on how to prepare for dating and marriage.
@tatianapatricia9551 I couldn’t agree more. My parents expected me to be married at some point but they never taught me how. So essentially I was taught what to look for in a mate but the path there was never explained to me. They actually spent more time and energy making sure I had a good education and securing a job. I have wonderful btw but I realized if I’m ever blessed with kids I will make sure they’re not in the dark about this matter
Modern day busy lifestyle plays a role as well. My family was entrenched in a strict Pentecostal organization and they did what you said, marry couples within 3 to 6 months of announcing their intentions. Some remained well and some ended in chaos. There are too many factors that are not considered when criticizing couples who take 9 months to 1 year to make a decision. We are living in a more complex world, in an environment that is not supportive of marriage and the innocence of children is under attack daily. We have to ask ALL of the hard questions and gauge where that person stands on finance, childrearing, roles, politics, spiritual life etc. There are many people who claim to be disciples of Christ and are not. There are vagabonds infiltrating churches daily looking for gullible, single, desperate women and men to waste time with. So today, if it takes a 6 months or more so be it. And add premarital counseling to that.
I do agree with this statement. I just stayed in a hotel the last couple days and there’s was a youth group staying in the hotel.
I was on the same floor as them and these kids (ages 17-20ish) were in no way anywhere near the age of someone who should be getting married.
So what in your opinion are the best ways to “gather data”
Where does the one year rule come from? Or is that just some arbitrary number that you threw out?
I actually really love these conversations because Bindi‘s personality comes out lol
Was just thinking the same thing😂
She is sassy lol
Same ♥️
Yeah that's right. You know people's personality when they're in the presence of people they are really comfortable with.
❤
Cam is very wise. He understands the heart of a woman well, and the weakness of men. Part of deciding to marry someone is having faith and trusting God. You'll not know everything about the person before you marry them. I married my husband in 6 weeks. We've been married for 22 years now.
🥰
I appreciate this. I married my wife within 3month of intentional courting to marry. Establishing like-minded/one-minded beliefs, and life goals . 🙏🏿🙏🏿young love is priceless where both can grow with eachother , and learn eachother. Praise & Glory to The Lord
Praise God! I love reading testimonies from men that are intentional with their pursuit to love the Lord & commit to a woman being his wife. 🙌🏾🙏🏾
Absolutely 💯
I'm 54. Never been married or had kids. I've lived on 4 continents and had lots of adventures. If I waited for a husband to do these things I'd be really bitter.
Same but age 45. There are no guarantees in life. I've spent my past decades in adventure while building wonderful friendships. I've gone on SO many introductory dates but very few men have made it past second dates because I didn't find them suitable. The last guy made it to 4 months before a lot of truth came out. #thankyouJesus
My longest relationship was about 18 months. It ended in a broken engagement 6 weeks before the wedding. To secular people that is a "short" relationship! I've been talked down to about it by many secular people but I'm not out here with a goal to have a "boyfriend." I'm in the husband market! *smh*
@@BearingMySeoulI feel like this too. I definitely don't think people should be sleeping with each other or having super long commitments before marriage BUT sometimes there are very important things about a person that you can't learn within a short period of time - it takes time to even see a person's commitment to God
@@hdskl2150 Pray that God will show them to you EARLY. It doesn't take God much time to reveal the direction you should go!
That's why the last guy only got 4 months. He called himself a believer, prayed over every meal, went to Bible study, and was VERY clever but the Holy Spirit instructed me to get up early every morning and pray in tongues for 30 minutes. Had I not, I'm convinced I would have been caught up in confusion with him for much, much longer. At the time of breakup, I could sense enough to know that it was time to say goodbye. I've found out more stuff he was into since then and I'm positive I STILL don't know it all!!! *smh*
If possible let's exchange experience and see if it works
@@BearingMySeoul
Deliverance.
Thank you, Sister & Brother! I dated a Christian Man for 3 years, but not once did he mention marriage. We weren't intimate. He broke up with me of & on.
It was painful, & I said enough is enough. Now I'm healing. Prayers appreciated it! I have learned so much! He was not non emotional available! Love you, sister! It was lust, not love. I learned so much!!
I've learned so much! Sisters, that might be reading this learn from this, lovingly!
I pray for the husband that God has for me.
God bless!
Were you giving him money? I am wondering what he was getting out of it.
Why in the world didn't YOU talk about marriage the first month? You need to be wife-material and then.don't waste time with men who arent courting you for marriage.
Do you have a good father to advise you about men?
Lol how can it be lust if you guys were not intimate?
@@nadorriff9197easy you can lust after someone and not sleep with them. In the Bible it even talks about if you lust after someone within your heart ( not even physically doing anything thing ) then you already committed adultery.
@@pettylilthingSexual desire makes men go for the gold, not pay for dates and stick around for THREE YEARS to get nowhere..
A decent, Christian man, who has sexual desire for you, respects you, and loves you will want the goodies.... and he will marry you ASAP.
Men who don't fear God, don't respect you, or love you will only want the goodies - IF they are easy to get
It makes no sense for a man to date you out of lust, for 3 years, and get no xxx. Did this man actually rake her out on dates and pay for them? I doubt it.
You and the original poster don't seem to understand men. Don't ya'll have fathers, or even older brothers, or something to school you?
My brother and his wife did the same thing. They got to know each other and married within 6 months. They were married for 42 years. His wife went home 1-1/2 years ago and he was lost without her. He really wanted to go with her.
💛
Your daughters are so lucky to have such God-fearing parents. They are going to be so protected ❤ i love this mindsets
Right! It’s such a blessing
I really like how Bindi and Cam are really 'black and white.' You rarely see married couples who have strong convictions in dating. And also are practical. I like it. Thank you guys for your candidness, practicality and humor! :) Keep em coming!
Y’all are so cute together! Yes, I agree three months is a good time. I met my husband in September, he proposed in November, and we were married in July = 10 months total from dating to marriage.
You have to have deep and fluid conversations and set firm boundaries in terms of intimacy, intent and expectations.
Oh yea… I agree… don’t be getting “flew-ed out” limit over-night stays/trips.
Growing up my mother always told me dating is for marriage. Unfortunately, she allowed me to start dating at 16(group of friends going out together).
I was just to immature and had a carnal mindset. Which lead to heartache and sorrow.
I now know that 16 was not an appropriate age for me.
I absolutely agree that if you already know the person a short dating window is fine. Also, I think it is wise to never be completely alone together. Even the most respectful and loving persons can end up making a wrong decision, in the right environment!
I think it takes 6 month, max.
@@canelareina3795I think up to 3 years depending the situation 😅
@@pettylilthing People are in no rush to get married because they are clapping cheeks fior 3 yesrs, seeing if they could find someone better.
God doesnt wink at fornication.
@@canelareina3795 I know quite a few people who took 3-3 1/2 year to get married who never fornicated. It’s very much possible it just depends on circumstances.
@@canelareina3795Why?
Team Husband on the interpretation. #FlewedOUT
💯💯😂
She was definitely talking about getting flewed out! 😂
Yeah! He was definitely talking about getting flewed out!! 😂😂😂
I agree 💯
Totally agree with your husband on this one. Traveling together before marriage shouldn't happen. Its just unnecessary temptation for fornication.
-Aubriel
Great perspective. I think for Christian singles you shouldn't date until your ready to marry. No teen dating. No dating to try things out.
Father's need to teach their sons how and when to pursue a wife. And fathers needs to guard their daughters and guide them in the courtship process so there is no confusion about boundaries or expectations.
I agree. As a Christian single, I have felt the pressure to be I'm a relationship, but I know that I am not ready and God has been giving me so much grace to wait. So that's what I'll do, wait, and He will make it happen when it's time.
Agree.
But in this 'courtship' thing, how does one find a potential spouse then? And how would this father's leading role be brought into practise?
Your husband is right girl. She is talking about getting "flewed out" and all that goes with it. I just went through it for 7 years.
I think it’s so dangerous to say that 3 months is enough time to “know”. Knowing for sure in only 3 months is absolutely not the norm. If I had agreed to marry my ex that fast, keeping in mind this was in fact a chaste and intentional relationship, I would’ve ruined my life. He hid many things from me that didn’t come out until the 6 month mark, by the 8th I had enough information to know we would not be compatible in marraige. We had talked about it and had every intention to marry, but by that point when I finally broke up with him I knew the Lord wouldn’t have wanted us to marry, and I’m beyond thankful I never felt any outside pressure from anyone to move that fast with him.
Well, this is why prayer is of the utmost importance! God knows the exact timing for every situation. I've had a broken engagement and God spared me indeed! Every situation is unique. That's why Jesus left us the Holy Spirit!
I agree with you on that… A person with bad intentions can pretend for 3 months.
I see women pretend all the time so who the real devil out here
@@hatkingempire6286
We all are, both modern men & women don't seek God!
@@camilouwalkPeople, especially Christians, have to ask for discernment from God. Discernment will help you catch the red flags. You don't need 6 months to catch red flags. Christ said you will know them by their fruit Matt 7:15-20. You will see them right away, and God will help you.
You must think with wisdom and not feelings. When people think with feelings, they miss red flags, or overlook them. It took no time for me to catch that this pastor I was talking to was arrogant and full of himself. That was a red flag. After talking long distance for a few weeks, I told him that I'll call him in a few weeks because I was in college and working and was overwhelmed. After maybe 3 weeks, I called him. He made it short and said he had to go. It was obvious he never had a woman set him aside, even for something important. He told me about his past prior to our break and that he was able to date any woman and that he played most of them. He said he repented from that lifestyle. Although I believe he had repented, there were things he still needed to work on. Years later I found out he had gotten married. The marriage didn't last. He married a second time, and no longer in the church of our faith. He's leading some prosperity gospel church which was not of our faith. He has pictures of himself sporting his Rolex and expensive car. I was right. He was too full of self. It didn't take me not even a month to see that. Everything else about him was good. He was handsome, ambitious, hardworking, educated, and working towards bettering his relationship with God. It doesn't matter. God truly knows when we are ready for marriage.
I agree with the husband. As women we aren’t seeing it the same way because we’re more in tune with our feelings. Listening to him was like hearing my husband. I’ve learned to listen because the way men and women think is as different as day and night.
Also… I love the vibe! 😂
A long distance relationship would be a situation where you wouldn't be meeting frequently. This was the case with my husband and me. We lived about 700 miles apart, and were only able to meet infrequently, but we did message each other daily, and video chat twice a week. It worked out great, but it did take a little longer than if we were seeing each other weekly. 😁
You’re literally describing my relationship to the T. 😂 lol Thanks for sharing! How long were y’all together before engagement and marriage if you don’t mind my asking?
@@GinaA We started talking in March of 2017, started an official relationship (dating with the intention of leading to marriage) in October of that year. Engaged the next November (2018) married the next spring. Our engagement lasted 4.5 months. 😁
This is my current relationship as well. We've been long distance now for 3 years. We're looking to come together within the next few months and take our relationship to the next level.
@@rekanova3757 I don’t know your LDR situation as maybe there are other circumstances of work etc Hope and pray that you guys move towards that as soon as possible as that’s a long time to be in a relationship. Just for temptations sake as well. You want to make sure marriage is something you both truly want with one another and that it’s also the best thing for you two to be together and move forward to that next step.
Yes! My husband and I had a long distance relationship too. He worked nights and was only off one day a week (because he also preached on Sundays). He drove 2.5 hours every Monday (his only night off) to take me out on a date for two years while I finished college (a stipulation that my parents placed since he lives in a rural area and there were no colleges near his house), so we generally only saw each other once a week. But we knew that we wanted to get married within a month or so, and were engaged around 4 months in. We are now going on 14 years of a happy marriage with 3 kiddos. ❤️😄🙌
Tony Gaskins have been saying these things for a decade. I highly recommend his channel when it comes to dating and marriage for god fearing people. He's one of the few dating coaches that don't feed into modern culture, and that are honest.
Dr. John Gray, the author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, gives awesome dating to marriage advice for men and women.
Marriage should be based on prayer, a whole lot of prayer. Let God give you your spouse and it will sort out a lot of issues already.
bingo
Agreed! And when you pray and God reveals red flags…don’t ignore! I think that’s a lot of people’s issue…they pray but ignore Gods answers. That’s where the lack of obedience come in!
Your husband is very wise. I think the way he described it is how the person meant it. Love y’all dynamic together! You guys flow so good together!
Forming a beautiful friendship is the best way to fall in love if it's meant to be.
I agree mutual friendship is the foundation
I like the way you held back and didn't keep disagreeing with him unnecessarily...I've learnt to do that with my husband too😂
I love their different opinions on the flewed out separate room issue because I would be with Bindi bit I'm learning everyday how different men and woman's expectations and appetites are.
My husband and I got engaged at 8 months and married at 10 months. It was rrrrrough prior to marriage. I was pushing his limits and he set a boundary that if I crossed it, that was it. I knew what I had so I said time to let go of my pride and let God. Now it's been 4 years and I love every moment with my man. He's my confidant and my best friend. I see that in y'all's marriage and I love it.
What do you mean by you were pushing his limits?
@@nessparadis6948Yes I’m curious as well!
Really enjoying videos that include your husband to get the male perspective! It's really interesting!
Right! We really need to heed what he's saying about timeline too. As women, we want to talk every day all the time but it's true that many good men give more focus to their work and existing responsibilities UNTIL they see the woman as their person. While a super romantic man might see that right away, but a lot of men would need more time.
I’m a maturer woman and I absolutely ❤these conversations…. This generation needs this…. I was married to my college sweetheart and later divorced…. I do believe that it was a mistake to divorce…. So these conversations need to happen, my family is a family of marriage …. Yes intentional! Do not go around dating especially on these apps…. That is too much for the soul to handle …. Nope it doesn’t take a year ❤😢thank you both!!!!!! I am now encouraging young women to not stay in a long term relationship , even my daughters, after 3-4 years 😢and then not married , we speak about sex and I share it’s for marriage…. I made many mistakes …. But I tell them to wait and be patient and enjoy life…. Let God…. I even speak on my divorce
Lol I loved this 😂 I often times find myself being scared to watch Christian TH-cam content because it can come off as stuffy and judgmental and just how you kinda described people adding things to the Bible to fit a certain lifestyle that is often times restricting.
But this was so refreshing and fun and wholesome!!!!! As married woman who is of a similar age I can totally relate to this 😂
Edited to add: I don’t like giving a time limit. I agree that it shouldn’t be that long but I think 3 months is too short, I say that because often times people can show the best parts of themselves in the beginning and then be a completely different person later on, I want to be able to see how you handle conflict and resolution, I want to see your temperance. I believe in 3 months time a person is still in that rose tented glasses phase where it’s possible you are not seeing that real person.
Obviously you can ask god for discernment, but none of us are perfect and will still find ourselves in compromising positions with a man or woman that we may have thought was the one. This can happen even in the long term but I honestly believe it’s less likely. Cause eventually that mask will slip if you give it enough time. Marriage is too huge of a commitment to just be jumping in. Especially if you are of the belief that divorce is not a option. if someone is pushing too hard for it too early I may see that as a red flag as well.
Over all though I agree. Dating is for marriage. And maybe no longer then a year (at most in my opinion). Maybe less, maybe more but definitely not for an extreme amount of time.
Sis I agree with you ❤
Yeah. I think one year is good ESPECIALLY for young people since they don't know themselves or life very well. If you've never had sex, it's a lot easier to not have sex so younger people have an advantage in this.
Fun video, Mr. and Mrs. Marc! I agree with your husband, Bindi. If you’re getting “flewed out” by a man, then he’s definitely expecting “wifely output”. A trip bonds people emotionally, vacations open doors for romance and as I’ve read in For Women Only, men (husbands in terms of the book) seek to wrap up a good date with physical intimacy. It’s like a cherry on top of the sundae. Instead of delaying fun trips and similar experiences, the lady should enjoy them with girlfriends only or a group of like-minded people as y’all suggested.
For dating vs. courting essentials, check out Choosing God's Best by Dr. Don Raunikar. He cites history and the Bible to define dating and courting, compares the two concepts and gives practical tips on how to court in a way that honor’s God.
BINDI, I think I’ve discovered a book you’ll love just as much as The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. It’s called For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.
The author does not characterize men in feminine ways. She uses survey data and quotes from men so we, women, hear it straight from them. Then she advises us on how to relate to men how THEY want/need.
I thought it was a secular book initially, but it’s written by a Christian woman who seems to be in alignment with the Bible. At the end of For Women Only, she literally names the believers who prayed over the book and guided her throughout the process. That was dope. She’s also quick to point out how the thoughts of churchgoing, Christian men compare with non-Christians’ thoughts. I devoured the book in the 3 days.
Also, I can vouch for Janice Hylton Thompson. Her books, videos and classes are THE REAL DEAL! Sometimes, she’ll preach a good word. I was not a Bible reader when she taught me that marriage is the picture of how Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). She also discusses how to date for data while abstaining from sex, how to gather data from (“date”) multiple men at the same time and eventually cut men who don’t meet your criteria from the roster. She did not practice exclusivity before getting engaged to her husband at 34. I appreciate her life story and raw teaching delivery.
BINDI, a talk with you and Janice and dating principles would be dynamite!
Bishop R.C. Blakes Jr. is another great advisor in terms of how women should heal and develop themselves, date and vet men.
I agree with most of these points because I've been dating a man for one year and believe we should be married sooner than later.
Also, I like that we get to see 'Bindi's' personality more in this comfortable setting with the hubs. Thanks for sharing, y'all!
Lol, they said they don't agree with that.
🌹 I loved this conversation! Having man's perspective helps keep us grounded. You two are funny and Joyce your guard was let down with your husband. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing. Your personality definitely came out more! I look forward to more husband & wide chats in the future. Thanks so much!🌹🌹🌹
I agree with the way Bindi's husband interpreted the last part of the question 😂🎉
I agree with your husband on the point about sharing certain experiences (like traveling) with a potential candidate for marriage. It’s not a rule or law, but it could be considered wise advice because those experiences could become baggage if you do go on to marry someone else. You may develop fond memories of this place or that experience and it’s attached to this other person. I’m not saying don’t go on “dates”, but I think certain dates should be reserved for after the proposal or something (I don’t have all the answers on this. Just my perspective). I also believe in group experiences and public spaces over one on one experiences for the early part of getting to know someone. Although there are no scriptures to say “don’t go on dates” 1 cor 7:1 does say “it’s is good for a man not to touch a woman”..those potentially romantic touches (even the most basic like holding hands, arms around shoulders, kisses, etc) can cause arousal (or just really lovey dovey feelings) if you are really attracted and becoming attached to a person.
Also, even people with good intentions can fall into fornication when ending up alone with this person because attraction is real, and the enemy is right there ready to HELP you fall.
Bindi’s content really tickles my mind 🙌🏽 God bless you
18:28 Bindi: “I’m assuming good intentions.”, Kam/Cam: “I’m not.”, 😂…
Classic distinction between Adam and Eve - Eve (most likely) assumed that the serpent had “good intentions” with his lie to her in the garden, hence not seeing the lie as a lie.
Whereas Adam wouldn’t have assumed that the serpent had “good intentions” if he brought that same nonsense to him, and would have nipped it in the bud by crushing the serpent’s head with his heel!
Yes. Eve was deceived but not Adam. 1 Timothy 2:14 - And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.
Haven't even made it past the 5-minute marker, Binidi, your husband's face!!! He was over it before the question was even halfway done. Hilarious!! Love ya'lls energy together.
Yes sir, your husband is so on point on all of his points. A true God fearing man who is seeking to honour God above all else. God bless you both and may your marriage continue to flourish!
3 months is enough time to know, just broke off something that was wasting my time, wished her the best.
6 months is pretty much enough
So true. I married my wife within 3 months of intentional courting, and establishing like-minded /one-minded beliefs .
Your husband is very wise and I agree with his interpretation of the questions. I've never seen Bindi so fiesty lol
I loooove Cam!!! His perspective is RIGHT ON! He don’t play 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
whoooah Bindi sister as a man your husband was spot on. Her remark about being shelter was like a guilt comment when you guys read it someone should feel bad about "Not having experiences and being sheltered". That's like a teenager saying my parents won't let me go to the club and live my life they keep me sheltered. There's good reason for the sheltering lol. We are called to have temperance/self control. Seem like the young lady was tryna slide though the crack about getting flewed out. your husband peeped game though. God bless you two
Love what you guys said about this topic. I also would say its a case by case basis, how quickly the two of you move in the direction of marriage. Being prayerful & seeking the Lord is of course key. My husband & I met on my Birthday May 15th, & he asked me to marry him a month later. He lives in Florida & I am in Atlanta, so our wedding will take place once I move out there, September 2nd ❤️
I'm so happy for you! wish you all the best and blessings 🙏🏻🕊✝️
The world needs more people like you guys. It will definately be a better place
This was actually very helpful. I wish my parents had talked to me about these things when I was younger, I wouldn't have wasted so many years trying to figure out life with men who weren't going to be there for it. At least I can have these discussions with my own children so they can make better decisions.
I married within 3 months of 'dating/courting'. We were both adults, living away from our parents (I was in another city working and he was a backpacker living with his friends) and we just knew it was gonna be marriage or he flies back home. I think of Paul's words about marrying instead of burning with lust. It is so true. God has been so faithful to us. We celebrate 13 years in November this year and have 6 children.
My husband and I met and married within 3 months. When you know, you know. There is no “data gathering”, it’s intuition, smart questions and unbiased assessment.
This was a really interesting discussion. I think it depends what the ‘life experiences’ are. Travelling one-on-one with a person of the opposite gender is probably unwise, especially if it isolates you from community who know you and can hold you accountable. Certain things should be reserved for marriage.
However, my concern is that trying to ‘shelter and preserve’ yourself for your future spouse is motivated by fear of being hurt rather than trusting in God through whatever the outcome is. We might dream of marrying the first person we ever date, but that’s not guaranteed and could lead to hasty commitments.
Small life experiences are necessary to discern a person’s character and integrity. Discussing values can only go so far - in challenging circumstances do they actually life those out? Don’t just believe everything someone says, even if they believe they’re being honest. Take time to discern from observing their reactions in a variety of situations and with a variety of people. Trying to skip straight to marriage without opening yourself up to getting to know someone and the vulnerability that it might not work out is impractical in most cases. Yes, guard your heart, but forming relationships (whether romantic, friendships, or otherwise) involves the risk of being hurt. Rely on God through it all and stay in good community.
That said, the getting to know each other and discernment process shouldn’t last forever. Don’t feel pressured to rush into marriage too soon - marriage shouldn’t be an idol. But equally, don’t hang around ‘dating’ the same person for multiple years. Christians should progress to marriage sooner than non-Christians tend to do in the world today. Save acting like you’re married until you’re married, but don’t hide from innocent life experiences under the guise of ‘sheltering and preserving’ yourself for your future husband.
Live life for God and what pleases Him, not what you hope for in a future spouse. That may look different for different people - there’s beauty in the diversity of God’s kingdom!
Y’all are funny together. Please do more!
Based on my experience , you have to be very intentional when choosing a person you will be spending the rest of your life with. My husband and I got married within a year. There are couples who take a shorter time, but I don't think the relationship process should take more than a year.
4 months or less each phase
Phase one: Dating (Foundation of Friendship is formed)
Phase two : Courtship (Promise Ring )
Phase three: Engagement (Engagement Ring)
Phase four : Marriage (Wedding)
Questions should cover everything biblical stances, family values,financial, EVERYTHING, etc. PRAYER IS KEY Proverbs 3: 5-7( the commitment between is between the two people and God... Have to put Him first follow His leading)
No fear is allowed... if you're not vulnerable and comfortable talking about all subjects, then that's not your person.
I love all of your videos... esp.ones with your husband. I totally agree with you both, esp. In this video, I agree completely with his viewpoint. Lol There are "passport women" who travel to hook up. This definitely should not be advised or practiced. Women of God should not be living and behaving like those of the world. Yaweh bless you both and your family
I think with the relationship process it really depends the situation in which how long it takes you to get married. Plus for some people it takes a good while to plan and get the wedding together. But it definitely doesn’t take more than 2 possibly 3 in some cases to get married.
@pettylilthing yes, I understand that wedding planning can be daunting and might take some time but if you just want a nice beautiful simple wedding then you should be fine. There are TH-cam videos instructing on how to get the wedding planned in months. That could be a good resource. A man knows who he will or wants to marry very quickly, and to prevent him from stringing the woman along for years, the intentions have to be known up front or that may be results. Esp. If you live a Godly life where lust, fornication, and the such are prohibited, then the wait will be shorter. The longer the wait, the greater the temptation
I agree with everything you have said ❤
I definitely agree with not putting yourself in compromising situations. I think trying new activities together that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable doing with your friends is acceptable because that person should be your friend before they become your spouse. I also really enjoyed watching you and your husband comedically disagree. It's nice to see a healthy couple communicate and disagree in a healthy, respectful way. Love your channel! Can't wait for more!
Such a great topic! Thank you for doing this video :-) I’m with your husband. I have a daughter and I would advise against traveling together - doesn’t matter who is paying. I don’t know what kind of life experiences she was referring to but I believe in a short courtship so, we are not talking about a long time to delay gratify to have the rest of your life to share experiences together. Also, I don’t think it’s legalistic to have no contact while courting. Lust, adultery, it’s begins in the heart, not with the actual act. (Matthew 5:27-28) That’s when it’s full grown (James 1:15). The spirit is willing but we know the flesh is weak. We are call to run from sin not play with it, hold hands with it, not hug it, not kiss it. Again, I believe in a short courtship (our timeline was similar to you and your hubby’s) so it does take long to get to the intimacy (hugs, holding hands, kissing etc.) You can wait 6 months until marriage…we are called to practice self control anyway. Just my 2 cents…modesty begins in the heart and this is one way we are reaching our son and daughter about modesty. I tell my son it’s not a good look to be huggin’ up on someone’s daughter. Lol She is under her Dad’s covering still. When you’re married, live your best life and show the world what a loving Christian marriage looks like.
Bindi your laugh is so cute !! I loved these talks to see different perspectives!!my favorite 18:30-22:00 lollll you guys are too funny. I didn’t know I needed this wisdom until today but everything is making sense now
That was me and my husband 6months and we are still married for 9 years by the grace of God
The experience thing is real!!! You traveling the world with a dude, having these experiences, your mind is attaching on a whole different level. The likeliness to sin is even higher! We courting, no way we should be traveling the world together!
Bible says that we should abstain from apoearance of evil. My sister, your husband is right. People commit fornication when we over trust our human body abilities when it comes to sexual drive.
So funny and so honest! Flewed Out-Wow! Thank you both for the transparency.
I understand the abstaining from life experiences to be had with your husband, because if you do everything what experiences are reserved just for him, and i know a lot of people are gonna be like well you can just do it again with him later, but for anyone who is married myself included i have seen the joy and elation on my husbands face when he gets to give me that first time experience what ever it is, when he gets to be the one to teach me what something is or how to do something, which is why i am for marriage young because you're less likely to have a bunch of life experiences and because youre still young you dont feel like you've missed out.
This was an amazing conversation to listen to as a single young Christian woman. I personally think 3 months is enough if I have known the person before the 3 months ie. for example if we are in school or maybe church together.
I also heard the question in the context of life experiences like seeing new things and experiences things overseas with a man that is not your husband.
In my fellowship “icc” we don’t do anything alone with women and we reframe from making emotional connections with the opposite gender unless we officially publicly start dating. And we have discipleship times we’re we court each other with guidance of the leaders God placed in our life. We don’t believe in kissing before marriage or even looking like sin. Being alone with a woman looks as if you guys are intimate with each other in others eyes and so we are all things to all men and we help each other remain pure
What church is this? Just curious.
Love it! Open honest and real conversations. It’s good to see this on camera.
More future topics/ video ideas.
-Training up your children. The intentionality God calls us to .
-Insecure as a Single woman(scared of liking a man because I might fornicate)
-Money in marriage (same account, same/ different investments, who pays the bill)
-the things I wish I knew before I got married .
Thank you Bindi. We literally have a wives texting group because of you. Keeping one another accountable and discussing your videos together. 🤗🤗🤗 You are an inspiration Al the way in Alabama.
I would recommend that any activity that A man and A woman do together has to pass what I’ll call “the scrapbook test.” If you are sharing this level of experiences (the kind that a married couple/family might put in a scrapbook), then you are creating too much history together considering the lack of commitment. Save the memory-making experiences for someone worth remembering, and spare your future spouse the dating stories that they are not part of.
What are scrapbook experiences?
@@nessparadis6948 That varies depending on what impacts you. Scrapbooks tend to have pictures, mementos, etc., that take you back to that experience mentally and emotionally. Even without making a scrapbook, these experiences can take up precious real estate in our memories. It’s just precautionary advice meant to protect the hearts of you, your future spouse, and your current interest (which may or may not become that future spouse). Thank you for considering my comment.
Yall are hilarious. I really enjoyed this 😂. Please do more togethr. I just love your dynamic ✨️ and bindi seems so spicy and comfortable when you two are toghter . Not that she isnt great alone , but i just enjoy the dynamic 😉
May God bless your marriage abundantly! It's beautiful to see how you guys enjoy each other's company
You two are hilarious!! 🤣 btw i had no idea what this "flewed out" thing was, had to google on the urban dictionary 🤣🤣
I had never heard that term before either. 😂😂
Yeah the rap group City Girls made it a thing a few years ago. Idk about it until I was on social media.
You not even paying to fly mama out😂
Yeah...😮
Harsh, right?
@@kerrymartin7557Nope, just a guy who has boundaries and has set them!
@@farmhouseonthemountainthat’s what I thought also. It wouldn’t even occur to him because she’s taken care of.
@@kerrymartin7557It sounds harsh because you’re unconsciously assuming mom has no one to take care of her- So her son has to fill that role.
Grace is not room to sin. Grace empowers us to resist and overcome sin.
I agree with your husband. She means doing things, traveling, living and doing all of these thing with a boyfriend they dont see themselves married to. They are having these experiences with a man other than a husband
I think one problem when it comes to this topic is that it isn't even clear what the term 'dating' means so it's hard to talk about with clarity. I understand it as going on dates/outings with someone, with an emphasis on time to talk and getting to know one another, with the intent of determining if they are the person you will marry. It is clearly temporary and either leads to the decision to enter into a relationship and get married soon or end the dating soon if it isn't right. Which I think is good and necessary. But oftentimes now when people say they are 'dating' someone they could just mean they are sleeping with that person without any other connection or commitment. So I think the term has become very vague and it needs be clarified what kind of 'dating' one is talking about when discussing the topic.
To add, I think the dating process should only happen if you are ready and looking to be married, if you're not there is no need to date. Another thing I'd like to say is that it is important to have at least some experiences together to see how the potential partner behaves in different situations and if what they say they stand for and believe in matches how they act. Which can ideally be observed in groups, at church etc. beforehand anyway. Being part of a local church together is a particular blessing in this process I think.
When my fiancé and I got to know each other it did feel like business meetings sometimes XD It wasn't even comfortable much of the time. We mostly went on long walks and talked about all the hard and controversial topics, our faith, how we imagine the future, role of man and woman... We had some nice moments but it was mostly as you said 'gathering data'. Both of us consciously didn't allow ourselves nurture our (growing) feelings towards the other in our heart until we had determined these things. I believe because we did this process quite rigorously once we decided to go towards marriage together the romance and fun came so easy, it was like a switch flipped.
@@The.blessedbeeThat’s a good way of doing it. I’m always amazed about how people get married without being clear on if they want children?
Especially these days!
Also agree with the writers meaning on life experiences cause when you look vack at memories you want to tell your story of your soulmate not oh this ex took me herr and this guy took me there. When we talk to our kids one day about our lives it should only be about their dad or mom. The nostalgia should only be with your partner no reminiscing on past experiences with past loves.
Whew this video had me cracking up. I absolutely agree with your husband. He read that letter correctly lol ! I really enjoyed the conversation and candidness you both provided. More talk like these please!
The way Cam said they could go to a restaurant "Down da street" had me cackling in my office lol yall better speak on it!! Ain't no flewd out over here 😂😂
Haha 😂
HAD ME DEAD IN THE OFFICE TOO LMAO!
Motives are at the center there should be a mutual understanding to see if the person is a suitable mate for marriage. I would also add families participating in the outings!
She is so beautiful and so wise. They are a lovely couple!❤
I liked this video. I agree with Cam on the flewed out, some experiences are strictly husband's privilege.
Y'all should do more videos together ❤
The time thing is personal preference because what if yall don't live close so you can't see each other alit ? What if they are in another country ? It's situational.
Thanks a lot for the video. Your conversation goes along way in correcting many young people and even christian adults who are in wrong relationship called dating.
If all preacher and teachers of gospels will on truth to spell it out the danger and sinful lives many christians are living today and pretends is okay and they are good, many people will be free from this Bondage of sexual immorality.
Thanks and God bless you all. 💓
I love seeing you two together and thank you for showing that a Christian marriage is beautiful! You two are so evenly yoked! God reigns! I too agree that it doesn’t take long to realize if the person you are dating is right or not!
A relevant book to review is: "Boundaries in Dating" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
is it helpful? Could you write a bit about it? I have the boundaries book.
@@marketa4074It's been a while since I read it. It was helpful in generally setting boundaries for me. I don't have time to do a review though.
Loved this video. Y’all together are great! I have a young adult daughter right in this time of her life and all this advice is great.
I certainly enjoy your program, all the way from southern Nigeria. Would you mind looking at 'Courtship, Character and Conduct' by William Marrion Branham at your spare time? Keep it up.
I'm 42, I know whether he is husband material after conversation 1, 2, or 3. I agree with your perspective on this subject.
Lol love watching you two! Yes I completely agree I started dating my old coworker but the first time we meet up together in a dating relationship he said asked if u want kids and I was like yes, and we we’re married in less then 5 months. When he proposed it was like just for the sake of proposing cause we had already talked and decided we were getting married soon. If you are dating you can see yourself getting married to him if that ever changes in the dating process you should no long be seeing each other. Otherwise you are wasting his and your time.
The way I HOLLERED at the Applebees comment😭
She's not saying not having life experiences but when you having experiences with a man you should reserve for your husband. There's a rhythm and blues song called "back down memory lane". If you do get married to someone else and have a time of discontentment, the enemy will use this. And as if my young brother, your husband said, he's a man. And men know men.
Preachhhhh
I agree with dating being for data. Receive information, no outputting in a way you’d give yourself to your husband
My husband and I had a long-distance relationship and I had to either dry or fly out to see him a couple of times a month. After three months of knowing each other he began looking around for rings. At eight months he proposed before he deployed to the Middle East. At a year he was back in the states and we were married. It’s now been 18 years of a loving and happy marriage. Every day my heart is grateful to God for this man. A godly marriage is a deep and beautiful thing. 💕 💍
This is HILARIOUS seeing you two together. Bindi's "sistah girl" came out 🤣
21 mins in and I’m agreeing with Cam so far lol
I see the point of the year because sometimes couples could be going to a different college or it’s long distance like a friend of mine. Ultimately it worked for them and they are getting married and my friend is moving away.
ALSO sometimes people are different in certain seasons. Like when it rains more, gets cold and grey, some people develop depression, but if you only know them when it’s warm and sunny, you may not get that information before getting married.
😂😂😂 my favorite video with your husband so far. Oh my gosh. Love it!
The time frame of marriage could depend long distance. I reconnected with my current spouse while in different states until eventually one of us moved close to each other. But I agree it should not take too long ideally.
3 months seems very short to know if you gonna spend your whole life with someone. I agree there should at least be a commitment after 3 months but I think your situation was the exception not the rule. Just my opinion.
It was AT LEAST three for my spouse and I too.
I agree. 3 months is too short to see who a person really is. But a year I'd definitely long enough.
I think you should be married in 6 months or less
2 weeks can be long
"It don't take a whole day to recognize sunshine."❤
I remember looking at one of the Red Pills content about it's a red flag that women wanted to get married and have kids within a short period of time. They just met the husband to be and the women wanted to hurry and get things locked down because they wasted all they're time and youth all in they're 20's. Watching this helped me understand even more the reasoning and it helped me a lot. Don't get me wrong the first part rings true, it's just seems everyone started to listen to they're aunties and grandmas or even moms of getting a decent husband to be. I even finally understand why my aunt said "you should get married within a year with that person." make so much sense now. Everything in this video just help me understand and where to put my foot down on. Thank you for this too.
I agree with your husband as it pertains to dating. I disagree that he shouldn't pay for travel for Mother. Providing for our parents is an honor. Especially if the Mother or Father can't afford to pay for a necessary service or travel expenses.
Great commentary. Ran into your content by chance a few minutes ago and I found it interesting. Thank you for also adding both a male and female perspective to each of the Q&As - in this case, the one. Something to think about - some people are deployed overseas, in the Armed Forces, et cetera and may meet someone online and aren’t meeting frequently. I just ask that those Professionals are considered as well. It can be a struggle navigating through the dating world as a successful military career man or woman that doesn’t have the luxury to traditionally date with a purpose and end goal especially in these 2023 streets. Lol!
Yea I viewed that question as her saying her being with someone experiencing activities one on one with a man.
Courtship is the word y’all are looking for I think. Great topic
Long distance relationships do exist- where both partners literally live worlds apart (and all they have is social media to communicate). The process would then take much longer than the 6 month to 1 year rule. right?