Five Love Languages Test Results
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- Take the test for the Five Love Languages and let me know your results: goo.gl/zXNtzh
#FiveLoveLanguages #5LoveLanguages #LoveLanguages
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it's interesting to hear you say you don't like people doing 'acts of service' for you because it feels like a transaction, but receiving gifts was second on your list - and that it feels meaningful when someone spends their time with you, but not if it's to help you out haha
lol i did not think of it in those terms xD
We are walking contradictions... 😎
Gifts seem even more transactional to me tbh, but when you think about it, anything can be a transaction, really. I’m an INFJ too and my first love language is of course quality time, but everything else was completely different from Frank, gifts being the last and acts of service second to last :D But I agree that the test is a bit weird since you always only choose between only two languages and sometimes none of the answers appealed to me.
I think maybe, of course total speculation on my part, but "maybe" HUGE DISCLAIMER... maybe Frank was thinking that the "acts of service" was requested. Acts of service is high on my list.. maybe first IDK I pesonally hate this five love languages ranking BLEEP because how can you rank love? But "acts of service" is high but I am the last to request it.
Quality time every time!👍
Colin Burmingham me too. That’s how I figured it out because I get grumpy when I feel ignored by people in my small circle (husband and kid). I said it was small 🤣
@@wendyraye I'm always grumpy. Maybe I expect too much.😊
Colin Burmingham one of the quickest ways I get bent is if I walk in the door (from work especially) and I’m not acknowledged - since I’m not a words of affirmation, it must be that I feel I’m not worth the “time” it takes to mute the tv and say hi. What I’ve discovered from my daughter (also quality time) is that the biggest source of friction is usually when expectations (realistic or unrealistic) are not met. If someone in the house is in a huff it’s most likely because they expected XYX to happen, but busy schedules and brain fog resulted in SHT happening instead.
This is so true Wendy. Not being acknowledged when I come home can really get to me. Makes me think of Otis and Aretha and R E S P E C T.
As for expectations that's a biggie. I find the more I find out about what I like/dislike, call it self actualisation, the more I sometimes desire and expect from others. A discontent from not having this ideal. Then I have to let go and try to love others and not strive to attain love. To be content with what I have. My faith in the God of love helps me through those hard times. Peace to you and your family.
@@wendyraye To be an advocate for one who shall not be named, When you walk into the door and are not acknowledged AND you get upset about it... How are you showing the other person that you love them?
As an INFP I got:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Acts of service
4. Receiving gifts
5. Physical Touch
Anybody else feels like a puppy when u know that "words of affirmation" is the 1st one? xdd
Same and im infj
I'm a bit different (INFP)
1. Quality time
2. Words of affirmation
3. Acts of service
4. Receiving gifts
5. Physical touch
I actually really like receiving gesture gifts, like Frank says. It's a physical reminder that someone knows you well. I don't care for expensive things but really like personal gifts.
I think Physical Touch would be high on the list for an INFPuppy... For me, Acts Of Service was number one.
I feel awful when someone gives me a gift. I always feel like I owe them something back and feel guilty about the fact that they spent money on me.
Steph Plank I also dislike receiving gifts, even from loved ones, material things just don’t have the same value and are more utilitarian to me. Also hate when people gift random stuff just because they have to gift something and I have to find a place for storing it, idk stuff just overwhelms me.
@@rhaena8259 Couldn't agree more.
My friend has the same issue with receiving gifts. I had to try to put a stop to it, lol. I asked her how it feels when she gives someone a gift that they are happy about. She responded saying that it makes her feel really good. Then I asked her how she feels when someone doesnt wanna accept it or feels uncomfortable receiving it, and she said it actually makes her feel pretty bad--like she is not appreciated or that she messed up somehow. I told her if she put herself in the other person's shoes more often, she would see that she should just accept gifts gracefully. It would be a win win! Try it :) You'll make yourself and the other party happy.
@@StephSA08 You're welcome! :)
Yaaaaaaa exactly
I got depressed the moment they asked if I was single or in a relationship...
11 Touch
7 Service
6 Time
4 Words
2 Gifts
This makes sense to me because actions speak louder than words. And to clarify, I like touch from my loved ones only, I hate strangers invading my space. I couldn't care less about words (technically I could because gifts scored lower), because they're just empty air. Give me a person's presence, helping each other and exhanging hugs or whatever, that's quality time. And keep up that INTENSITY, Frank, you cracked me up with that!
I heard two type Timmy's love languages are quality time and acts of service.
oh jeez that guy had to have two didn't he
Colin - LOL.
That's nothing, do you remember Bob from accounts? He says he likes quality time but he actually prefers gifts! Some people.
😂
I'm on a roll here, some suggestions... Type celebrity love languages. Or The Beatles love languages based on song lyrics?
I may be a "weird" INFJ, because my top love language is Physical Touch....tied with Words of Affirmation. 😁 Each had 9 points. Next was Quality Time with 7 (I did expect that to be higher); Acts of Service with 5; and Receiving Gifts with 0. I'm not sure how that one got 0, because I actually like giving gifts, but only when I'm inspired by something that makes me think of the person. I DON'T like receiving gifts, which is where the 0 probably comes from (since the questions seem geared toward how you prefer to receive love, not give it). When I love someone, I use all 5 of these, in differing ways. I think the top 2 are tied because I love physical affection from my SO...but not so much from anyone else. Other relationships, I prefer the affirming words.
Do you think the physical touch thing is an NF vibe? I'm an ENFP and some might witness me to be touchy feely with everyone but my touch boundary system is on point, i don't just hug or touch anybody. Once a stranger at a bar asked me for a hug and I outwardly said no. He laughed and i said no really you can't lol.Touch off my SO though, all day son 👐
@@TheSushiQueen100 it could be. Like you, I don't just touch anyone and I'm not particularly physically affectionate with most people. Kids - yes. Love kiddo hugs! Certain people in my family and my SO - yes. It probably for sure has to do with the feeling function. I think also that for me, personally, I didn't get enough physical affection as a child (none at all really), therefore I crave it now. :) Your interpretation may be correct, that combo of NF.
@@stephanieh6117 Yes kiddy hugs!! I squish my niece to death. She hates it but let's me do it anyway. That's interesting as I experienced that same lack as a child. Interesting perspective. Food for thought. Thanks lady! :)
I also scored high in physical touch (2nd place), reading comments makes me wonder what’s wrong with me :D to be fair though I’m only touchy with my partner, I don’t like when other people touch me
Celebrating the 1M subscribers I've been binge watching his videos and man I like this guy. I thought he was going to do like other youtubers and be all like "oh I got receiving gifts as my last one because I don't care about it... I care about deeper things" (totally misunderstanding what really receiving and/or giving presents is about) So it was cool checking that our man FJ here is keeping it real (I don't know why I've talked like that, probably because English is not my first language) Anyway I also thought I was going to get that as my first one and it was my second one
You are absolutely hilarious!! I love watching your videos.
1. Quality Time: We could sit in silence, and I'd be happy. You covered it perfectly.
2. Physical Touch: I don't like it when people touch me, but I touch others that I love-- rustling their hair, bopping their nose, etc... and bro hugs. Other than that, if I don't love you and you touch me, I'm uncomfortable.
3. Acts of Service: Really I just like the thought behind it, and being able to help others out if I can.
4. Gift Giving: Sure, I'll take a gift. It's not my way of receiving or giving love. Thanks, though?
5. Words: I don't need people telling me they love me or lifting me up. A lot of the times, words are overused and lack meaning. I find it true that "actions speak louder than words". Spending time with others is how I show that I love them-- that I'm patient enough. Not "I love you; you're great; I appreciate you."
For me (infp):
5) receiving gifts
because what i need i can buy myself, and i dont like to have unnecessery things
4) physical touch
I'm not used to be touchy
3) quality time
It can be fun
2) acts of service
It's good to receive help
1) words of affirmation
For me it brings a lot of strength, because i have a lot of doubts about myself and my future, i like to feel that i'm supported and accepted. And i myself like to use this love language, i like to give compliments to people like "you're good at drawing, you're talented, you can make a youtube channel and upload your videos" etc. I like to use words as my expression of support.
I'm completely different (INFP)
1. Quality time
2. Words of affirmation
3. Acts of service
4. Receiving gifts
5. Physical touch
I actually really like receiving gesture gifts, like Frank says. It's a physical reminder that someone knows you well. I don't care for expensive things but really like personal gifts.
I'm an INFP, but quality time is my number 1, words of affirmation is near the bottom for me.
Here's mine:
33% Quality Time
27% Words of Affirmation
20% Acts of Service
13% Physical Touch
7% Receiving Gifts
I think your point with receiving gifts as a way of expressing intimate understanding and care is interesting because INFJ's seem to value when they are actually understood by others, and I think maybe the tangibility and permanence of an object can have the potential to really solidify receiving this deep care and understanding in one's mind. However, I also think that for different people the vehicle with which this understanding and care is communicated could be preferred in a different form, such as the acts of service or words of affirmation. IE, these are all tangible or sensory "things" that can be referred to or filed away in your mind as true understanding and care; we can discern that the only obvious reason someone would go about doing these things is with love, understanding, and good intentions. In that way, maybe it squashes our SE insecurity, if that makes sense (sort of a need for infallible verification). Although, I hear what you're saying regarding finding it hard to accept when people just do things for you (acts of service) and potentially feeling guilty that they've expended all this energy on you that you feel you have to repay them out of the kindness of your heart because you also want them to feel loved and don't want there to be a disparity or uncertainty in the communicated feelings of care for each other. I also am curious of whether we each perceive certain love languages as more "shallow" than other ones and if that factors into our equation of what is the most meaningful love language to receive and thus the most reliable communicator of actual love/care rather than what we may perceive as less personalized/based off of a true understanding of the recipient.
Haha I chase compliments with insults. Every time I receive a compliment I immediately point out one of my flaws... it's a lovely reaction. Quality time was my top love language as well.
Me too, I have to force myself to just accept the compliment and keep my mouth shut so I won't attack myself. So it's awkward pause, then, 'Thank you!' Smh
Yes! I used to do that too. And then I figured out a way to sort of duck or diminish the compliment while still sort of accepting it. It has been an interesting exercise to just smile and say thank you, and then maybe offer a sincere compliment in return.
Getting compliments is almost embarassing for me lol especially when they mean it... its like hold on lemme ruin this real quick
I thought I was the only one who struggled with compliments. It is a real struggle. Sometimes I go to the awkward space in my mind I don't even remember saying thank you. Then I become more awkward by going back to thank them out of fear I was rude because I chased it with an insult or it was taken as I am so conceited I don't feel the need to say thank you.
Oh my, FJ. Once again you have your finger on the pulse of your people. Prolly 85 to 90 percent will agree that time spent with another is the best. But, here's our disconnect, my Least favorite language are French gifts. Kidding!! 🤑 I do not like receiving gifts. I actually have a visceral cringe effect when someone gives me a present. However, I Love giving gifts as often as possible. I bought myself the most beautiful blanket ever made....it was so soft and the colors were of a snow leopard. I put it carefully away so No one would manhandle it because yes, it almost demanded to be held. Then, one day my beautiful sister Maria was very sad. So, naturally I went and wrapped up my favorite possession in the world and gave it to her. That's love to me....giving what you cherish to someone you cherish more. It took me five years to save enuff dough to get another one for myself. It ended up on my boyfriend's side of the bed. Yes, I am a martyr....no, I don't want material things that can be broken or ruined. But, I have an identic memory so a word spoken 12 years ago can be recalled and still have the power to make me smile or blush. Thank you for telling your evil twin that you didn't need him to make another vlog tonight. He was a little- lot intimidating last time. Keep it real and attractive, FJ.💜
The test gives me a really difficult time to take with my lack of experience and messy interpersonal relationships, so I'm just trying to write my thoughts on each of the five.
I'm pretty sure that physical touch is #1 for me. And by that, I don't mean I'd do it a lot, but it's the most meaningful to me. A hug from someone I really love is the best medicine for my soul, and also the thing that gives me butterflies in my stomach, if it's by a love interest. It's a hard thing while being an INFJ, and I'm not giving it to everyone. It's like if I'm getting hugsy, it's the first sign that I got super attached emotionally. I also realised that if I'm mad at a family member, I "punish" them by not letting them to touch me.
After these, quality time for me is more like: "I don't really care if you don't give me your undivided attention, just let me be there and hold your hand, and give me some touches back to show that you appreciate it." What comes to my mind, is the introverts' comfortable silence, when both of us would be minding their own business while leaning on each other or something like that. It would be great. I don't know how high quality time is on my list, but cuddles are a priority.
With gift giving, if I get an idea about what could be a good gift for someone, I get excited about it. I like giving gifts, but wouldn't do it for whatever reason.
Words of affirmation and acts of service are weird things. I think I'm having a bad case of impostor syndrome, so compliments and getting helped out are things that can make me feel guilty because I would think I don't deserve any of these. They give me the illusion that people can't see me objectively. For some reason though, helping other people out makes me feel good. Also, I love being called cute, maybe because it's not a huge thing, it rarely ever happens though.
Also to physical touch: I've never gotten a chance to sleep with a significant other, but I sleep with heavy blankets even in the hottest summer, I think because it gives some illusion, along with plushies that I can hold in my arms.
I’m ENFP and my results are (for singles):
29% quality time
27% acts of service
23% physical touch
13% words of affirmation
10% receiving gifts
...interesting
I was introduced to the Love Languages in one of my Communication classes! Beyond personality, gender roles and life roles in general can really influence one's love languages. My top two are Quality of Time and Words of Affirmation (which is commonly in the top for women). It's also common for men to use acts of service as a love language, but I'd argue it's even more common for people who fill parental roles to use this language the most. Nothing quite says I love you like a parent making your favorite meal when you're in for a visit.
Thank you very much for your support and encouragement. You are doing great.
While searching through my emails for my more recent Love Language test results, I actually came across my test results dating back two years ago, and they actually still speak to how I would prefer to show/receive love. In order of most to least favored, they are: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts. As a proud INFJ myself, I say this order of preference is pretty accurate!
1. Quality Time - This is the #1 most common love language. You can't have a proper relationship without it.
2. Words of Affirmation - They must be sincere. That means that they had better be specific or I won't believe it and it irritates me. For example, if my husband tells me I'm beautiful, I will call BS. If he looks at me and says "Your hair looks beautiful," that's more believable.
3. Gifts - I only like them if either A) I asked for that specific gift or B) the gift is practical and/or consumable. Any unwanted gifts go straight to Goodwill.
4. Acts of Service - My mother did this to show her love, and so I learned to take them for granted.
5. Physical Touch - I enjoy physical touch, but it doesn't make me feel loved. Nor do I appreciate hugs from anyone except my mother, husband, and kids.
There's another love language (unofficial) that's something like Intellectual Conversation. That's actually my #1. My husband (ENTP) and I (INTP) love coming up with scenarios about different stories I'm writing or different adventures we'll have next time in Dungeons & Dragons. Guess that falls into the Quality Time category.
You're pretty hilarious in this video :) Quality Time is #1 for me. Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, and Acts of Service (in that order) are only 1 point away from each other, so I don't think the middle portion means much. Receiving Gifts is my lowest score, and I see it in the way you see Acts of Service. I feel bad getting gifts, because I automatically feel as though I'm under pressure to get that person a gift too.
My number 1 is gift giving. That is how I both give and receive love. I think its the most misunderstood love language. Its not about the money being spent. Its about showing that someone took the time to know you well enough to know what you like rather than doing the typical force something they like on you.
INFP here.
From top to bottom, the test listed my love language preferences as being:
1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Physical Touch
4. Acts of Service
5. Receiving Gifts
Actually, though, I would switch the top two and would consider Words of Affirmation to be my top. Particularly with the Love Dialect of Humble Words. So, if you hurt me and don't apologize, or give me a non-pology and expect me to be gracious and accept that in order to let you save face even though you were in the wrong, that will compound the hurt for me. For that reason I do my best to apologize when I see that I have hurt someone.
Saying something that I interpret as dismissive of my feelings would be another example of something that would cause me to not feel affirmed, even if your intent might be to make my problem seem smaller in a "This is nothing, don't worry about it, you got this!" sort of way. For that reason, I do my best to affirm people's feelings when they come to me with their problems.
You can never go wrong phrasing things as "I statements" with me--making sure you explicitly present your point of view as your point of view and not Objective Truth, and leave room for my point of view to be affirmed as just as valid. For that reason, I try my best to do the same for other people.
I think a large part of the reason why Quality Time came in as number one on this test was that not very many (possibly not any) of the Words of Affirmation type questions were focused on Humble Words. They all seemed to be focused on the Love Dialect of Compliments, which is what most people first think of when they hear about Words of Affirmation. Honestly I can take or leave compliments most of the time. I don't need to hear compliments in the same way that I need to hear that people who want to be close to me are taking care that the way that they phrase things is not dismissive of me, my feelings, and my viewpoints. I frequently show love to other people by minding my own words and making sure that I treat people with respect in what I say.
Messina Lyle - Hi, I’m an INFP as well, and I got the same order as you, only 3 and 4 interchanged. And I agree with everything you said, you just basically described my feelings about when and how much it’s meaningful to me to have love verbally expressed. It’s really no shallow thing, it can be genuine and major.
@@kristinamitrova5210 Thanks for the response. It's always nice to encounter people who we can relate to on certain things.
9 Quality time, 7 Acts of Service, 7 Words of Affirmation, 4 Physical Touch, and 3 Receiving Gifts.
I've taken this test before, like two years ago, and the one that used to be my highest is now my lowest (reciving gifts). It's good that I took it again.
i'm infp and i got words of affirmation as my top one, it's pretty much spot on haha
top to bottom: 1. Quality time 2. physical touch 3. Words of affirmation 4. Acts of service 5. receiving gifts. for me me, the first three are actually all almost tied. however... my scores are relationship based.. not platonic. I seldom let people touch me unless I have very deep trust with them, such as close family or someone I am deeply intimate with (which is currently no one). I am surprised Acts of Service isn't actually my lowest because I prefer people don't do things for me for the same response you gave, and while helping people is good, it can also be energy draining. when it comes to gift giving. I am the person who methodically puts my time, thought, and effort into giving gifts that the recipient will truly appreciate and enjoy, however, I can put so much energy into it that I would rather just conserve my energy unless that person has a certain importance in my life. I also do not care for gifts. I can really go without them and unless it's something of deep sentiment, or has very practical use, it usually just stays in the gift bag and I often forget about it. It really depends on what it is and who it's from. My last two were significantly lower than my first three.
Frank, I saw one of your video which blasted me out, I just wanna share that experience with you. You won't believe it!!
Giving gifts matters to me too and I stress myself out so much. I recently bought a souvenir for someone I like but am not close to, so I had to fight this strong urge to buy them something super personal and meaningful and instead spend less money on something kind of generic instead, purely because it feels more appropriate right now and I don't want to freak them out. I put so much energy into getting that "casual" present! AND THEN MY DOG SAT ON IT SO IT'S GOT A SLIGHT DINT IN IT (it's a print) AND SO I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T GIVE IT TO THEM AT ALL D :
Thanks for sharing your quality time with all of us, Frank!!
My first is acts of service and second is quality time. This makes sense because both are spending time together and all too often, I don't get help even when I ask for it from people. The rest go gifts, physical touch, and affirmation.
Mine as an infj:
Words of affirmation cus my mama never gave me any lol
Acts of service
Quality time
Gift
Physical touch
That is a bit similar to my perceived love language. It's complicated. I spend comparatively long time thinking about giving people presents, but I'm melted by (and feel guilty about) my love's coddling, which I can't distinguish whether they're acts of service or presents. Also I very much love to give him kisses and hugs and sincere touches.
I am freaked out by the similarity of our perspectives! .... the thing that sruck me most is that bit about act of services... I also find it difficult to accept it .. to own it and to believe that I am worthy sometimes even when it comes from people in whom I have no doubt of their love.. I need to work on that
And I also share your preferred language.. nothing beats time and pure attention to prove love. Thank FJ
i'm an INFJ and my primary love language is words of affirmation :p followed by quality time, the difference is so tight and both of them are very important to me ! P.S. i don't take compliments well xD they make me feel uncomfortable..i just feel happy when my loved ones express their love and appreciation for me verbally (mainly through texts cause i don't go out that much XD ) & then quality time is a no brainer, i like spending my precious time with people who actually deserve it because just like you Frank i feel drained so quickly..
If I’m in love with someone, you betcha there will be touching!
But I need a deep connection and quality time first or at least consistently.
Exactly
“Acts of service = transactional”. Receiving gifts = not transactional?
The Hierarchy Of the love languages mentioned in this video is pretty accurate for me. Though The Part Mentioned about the Receiving help feeling like a Transaction may not be because you cannot accept help and More of Having the clarity that everything always truly is like a transaction in a way that every action has some form of reaction or meaning to the person doing it and so it might be a good idea to understand it as a transaction and just be grateful for it rather analysing what they would expect in return or why they are doing it at all. Also, Regarding the Gifts love language, for me, it absolutely represents the relationship but also makes me feel like someone has put time and thought in understanding who i am and what i would like and that's the most fascinating and enjoyable part of physical gifts. And I Love Surprises so it just adds to that fact :)
10 Acts of Service
8 Quality Time
8 Words of Affirmation
3 Receiving Gifts
1 Physical Touch
Really no surprise for me, I dislike being touched and love doing small things for my partner to show them how much I appreciate them.
I'm an INFJ and mine are QUALITY TIME, Giving/Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch. So almost the same as yours.
I got quality time as number one, and I think you said it perfectly. Being with people is so draining that I really only want to use it up on people I love, so it feels like an honor for it to be reciprocated.
I do wish there was a love language called understand or something though. You know like you tell a friend ‘I’m so sorry, but I’m drained and need alone time’ and they understand and know you still love them without making you feel bad for needing to disappear. 😂
ME...all of those..
In that exact order. 🧡💙💛💚💜❤ Quality time, especially with your children pays huge dividends in the future.
“I wanna bond!” Looks intensely into your eyes... looking intensifies
'like a transaction '😊 spot on!
I'm an ENFJ, and mine are 1. Acts of Service 2. Quality Time 3. Words of Affirmation 4. Physical Touch (weird because I'm a hugger but I guess the others are just MORE important to me) 5. Gifts
8 Words of Affirmation
7 Quality Time
7 Acts of Service
5 Receiving Gifts
3 Physical Touch
Wow, I'm quite surprised I scored Physical Touch the lowest. :D I'm an INFJ too but for me encouragement and hearing nice things means so much... Maybe because I often lack self-confidence? But still my top three were very equal and I find all of them important. My boyfriend is ALL about Acts of Service so I guess I've learned to appreciate that a lot through him.
Omg. I'm the same. I always see relationships as a business transaction and that's why I don't like people doing me favours lol. Damn that one hit home hard. Physical touch was also my lowest one. Receiving gifts was my second too. The others were different for me! But maybe because I was thinking about my partner when I did the test. I reckon if I didn't have someone in mind, I would have had the exact same result as you.
I'm an infj my no. 1- is words of affirmation ,2- receving gifts ,3- quality time ,4- acts of service ,5- the last one is physical touch
Who knew that the 5 love languages could be so revealing?
1. Quality Time
2. Affirmations tied with 3.
3. Physical touch tied with 2.
4. Gifts
5. Acts of Service
I think the order of 2 thru 5 would have been slightly different when I was younger, but #1 would always be #1. Unless of course I suddenly became like Tommy. Not Tommy two-typer but Tommy from the Who's Rock Opera. You know, that deaf dumb and blind kid who sure played a mean pinball. Then it might be Physical touch. (ask Phil Collins...or Helen Keller.)
Knowing my self, and hearing these descriptions, i'll guess mine will be:
1. Time
2.Touch.
3. Affirmation.
4. Gifts.
5. Acts of Service.
1. quality time
2. positive affirmation
3. physical touch
4. gifts
5. acts of service
It’s been a long time since I did this but words of affirmation was definitely my number one. But acts of service climbed up there once I had a few kids and I was overwhelmed. A stranger off the street could have offered to come in and vacuum and I would have left them.
Interesting! Getting gifts was my lowest, quality time was the highest. I don't feel that excited when I get gifts, but I feel like I always have to act excited. My interests are so specific, I'd rather buy what I like for myself. And then you have to put the gift somewhere or throw it away, which I'm trying to get better at as a minimalist.
INTP/INFP I got:
33% Physical Touch
30% Quality Time
23% Acts of Service
13% Receiving Gifts
0% Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch being the top was a surprise cause I'm a HUGE sensory avoider-- VERY sensitive to touch and usually dislike receiving it. But, I guess it makes sense because - similar to what you said about quality time - if I actually initiate touch, you must really be important to me.
Words of Affirmation being dead last was NOT a surprise. I HATE getting compliments and so on because it always feels so potentially fake (relationship with my ex certainly didn't help that perception, either). As the rest of my ranks say, actions speak louder than words.
1 is touch and for me reason first Off I don’t want to be touched by just anyone just of opposite sex preferred and my second primary language is acts of service because I like to be there when needed.
2nd is quality time reason is I value my few and far between interactions with friends.
3rd is words of affirmation I like it to be communicated that I am appreciated
Last is receiving gifts I still enjoy thought full gift and will keep it forever if it holds special meaning to me.
That is my arrangement from primary language to least used language
lol Thumbs up for that commercial break alone.
I'm not INFJ (I am an E... type). Quality time is my love language. Even if there is not much talking, as long as they are there 💚.
I hate receiving and giving gifts... I don't even want stuff for my birthday or Christmas. I try to be more servent-hearted, but I just mostly fail at it... I get so uncomfortable with compliments, I like it (as I like being the centre of attention), but hate it at the same time! I'm not a fan of hugs, except if its my son, or my dad and if I ever have a husband.
I love the 5 Love Language as a book and as a tool! In my own book EDEN: A Relationship-Based Template for Co-creating Paradise on Earth, and in my Couples & Mediation work I encourage others to learn their, and their loved ones Primary Love Languages, and then regularly apply them to improve their communicating, relating, and intimacy. I AM INFJ- and i scored as having a dual Primary Love Language: Physical Touch AND Quality time. While I'm much more touchy feely and openly physically demonstrative than most, what i know about me is Physical Touch is only in a top dual position with Intimate Partner and my Kids- because as much as i looooove being touched by someone i want to be physically close to is as much as i don't want to be touched by someone i don't want to be physically close to! So, my Universal top primary with all people would be Quality Time (Presence) which is often what i want in connection with physical touch when i receive it, #3 for me is Words of Validation (i find this to be the most universally accepted/ received when you don't know what the other person's Primary Love Language is , and/ or yours vary differently from theirs- most people are receptive to a compliment, or affirmative word (whether written or verbal), #4 for me is Material Gifts, and #5 Acts of Service. When people don't know about the Love Languages, i find they most consistently tend to give to others the Love Language they desire and enjoy to receive most themselves- which often points to what they also feel most comfortable with. I was amused by some of your takes on this topic...but don't worry, your safe behind a computer screen so i can't hug you in appreciation. ha! ha! :)
Words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, gifts
ENFP and type 7
I have never taken this test. I guess I will. Be back later.
Without having taken the test, I can say that quality time, touching, performing acts of service and words of affirmation are all important. I am not down on myself and I don't think anyone should be. I think we should love and accept ourselves and work toward meaningful desired changes. I love compliments, giving and recieving, but I can always tell a true compliment from a fake one or a forced one. For instance, I got a compliment on something at work by a coworker for something that required very few steps and no personal flair. An empty task. It seemed odd, but I accepted their compliment and explained it was just part of the job. I think it's important to compliment someone on their personal contributions.
While touching is an important part of close relationships, when it comes to complete strangers I believe in personal space. I find it a bit creepy for a complete stranger to give you a hug. Yes that happened to me before. It seemed odd, especially in their manner of delivery. It gave me the creeps because their motivation was most definitely off. It was neither genuine nor honest and It was obvious. It was showy.
While giving and receiving gifts,is good its probably further down my list I imagine. Things, money, materials never mean as much as time and affection and conversation.
Some games are fun. Some are not. Mind games are off limits. I know them and I don't perform them or accept them. Other than that it depends.
My (INFJ) list:
5: Physical touch - Wouldn't need it at all.
4: Gifts - Not so much, perhaps when I come up with it at random.
3: Words of affirmation - Like to give, like to receive, but only at a certain level.
2: Quality time - Super important, but...
1: Acts of service - ...just couldn't be more meaningful for me.
It’s funny what you prefer from loved ones may be different than what you dole out to your loved ones.
I don’t care about acts of service and gifts from loved ones but I do acts of service and put a lot of thought into gifting for people in my circle. My specialty is finding an item that will make the recipient look good or better (if she or he has untapped potential). Unfortunate having many introvert sensing dominant people, my effort isn’t always successful. What really irks me about Si dominant people is that they stick to something and would not budge. I mean, frosted blue eye shadow and polyester leisure suits are still in demand right? This is Si for you.
I do value quality time. Not just time but quality time. I hate 24/7 togetherness but I know when an SO put his valuable tome aside to be with me sincerely. It wasn’t lip service or forced cheerfulness.
INFJ here as well :3
10
Quality Time
9
Physical Touch
6
Acts of Service
4
Words of Affirmation
1
Receiving Gifts
Physical touch and Quality time. However, the second must precede the first, in some way, and dictates my level of comfort. Gifts are last. But, “I must have flowers, always, and always.” ― Claude Monet. I also believe these are not completely static. 8 years ago I happened to take this test and was at a different place in my life. Quality time and words of affirmation were my top 2 by far and physical touch was near the bottom. Gifts are always last, in spite of my singleness. Mais oui, c'est la vie...
I feel the exact same way FJ. Literally word for word!
Gifts was my no. 1 love language 😁😁, I think more than the gift I value the thought process and effort put into that gift, I especially love handwritten letters ✉️
I'm an ENTP and here are my 5 results as of taking the test specifically for couples.
10 Words of Affirmation
8 Physical Touch
8 Quality Time
3 Acts of Service
1 Receiving Gifts
My thought process on gifts is that I don't really feel much love when I receive them possibly through a subconscious feeling of being in debt to someone. My current ideal for a relationship with consideration of my age of 19 would be mutual financial self-sufficiency. I am not saying that I do not like generosity for I do tend to be very generous with the people that I love, but I guess I just don't feel that good when I receive gifts and would rather receive time to discuss life and its complexities. I do however very much enjoy gifts of purely sentimental value such as a love letter or something poetic as I am a bit of a romantic, but material things that cost my loved one money are not very meaningful to me and I would rather the money that goes toward the gift be saved for future expenses of my loved one as to possibly lighten their financial stress.
My psychologist suggested that I do this test a while ago and it was interesting results.
7 Acts of Service
7 Quality Time
7 Words of Affirmation
6 Receiving Gifts
3 Physical Touch
INFJ also
My main love language is quality time. I'm going to keep watching to see if you also get the same type, as you predicted.
So yeah, quality time. I was surprised to hear that was an option - wouldn't that be everyone's #1? Isn't that what a relationship is about? But whatever. I got:
1) Quality time
2) Words of affirmation
3) Acts of service
4) Physical touch
5) Receiving gifts
I was just thinking though, when I took this test, I was thinking about it from the point of view of someone I am romantically involved with. I think my results would be much different if I took it from a more generalized perspective. I am a massage therapist so physical touch doesn't bother me per se, but there definitely needs to be a deeper level of intimacy for me to be wanting someone to touch me. I think it would more likely to be at the bottom with friends and extended family.
12 Physical touch
9 Quality time
6 acts of service
2 recieving gifts
1 words of affirmation.
INFJ-A
1. Acts of service
2. Quality time
3. Physical touch
4. Words of affirmation
5. Receiving gifts
Good job buddy! You guys a great job.
I’m INTJ and quality time was my #1, affirmation (more so in a supportive way than compliments really) was #2, and I scored zero for gifts, ha. I would rather spend time with people that I care about and know that they have my back.
That intense filter freaked me out!
You’re a funny guy frank ! Can you do a video on INTJ male and infj woman relationship ? But I would like to hear less about the mbti comparison versus real world scenario .. if possible :) please and thank you
Wow, listening to this video was surreal. My first language of love is Quality time I am an ENFP. I totally get where Frank was coming from. He favors intimacy, and real connection with others, he looks at gifts as a means to immortalize those people who mean the most to him and vice versa, giving a gift says you took time out of your day and brought me this thing cause you like, love me. I get it. The other ones, I didn't really pay attention to cause I was distracted by the internet. But I got the message that he's not overly physical and words of affirmations can be taken as either a negative or positive if used to graciously or not enough. I get it. The reason why I found this interesting is due to me having just met an INFJ male and he's an enigma, but a fun one. Adorable like Frank here. LOL. I always thought that INFJ's the way that they are described would be a "happy go lucky" type but they are not. They see the world through a lens that bounces off their inner worlds and truly I feel their perspective is vivid, humorous, serious, and intuitively calculating.
9 Words of Affirmation
8 Quality Time
5 Receiving Gifts
4 Acts of Service
4 Physical Touch
I'm surprised I scored highly on Words of Affection. I don't need approval from every Tom, Dick and Harry but I suppose I do enjoy hearing nice things from my loved ones every now and again.
mine (from most to least) is: quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts, words of affirmation and acts of service
(INFJ) quality time and words of affirmation tied for first!! Acts of service is also low on the list for me. Sometimes it's meaningful to me, but I feel like I'm taking advantage when I ask someone for help.
9 Quality Time
(makes sense)
7 Physical Touch
(huge suprise)
7 Words of Affirmation
(also a suprise, I do not take compliments easily but I suppose depending on the person and the context it could be something magical)
5 Acts of Service
(I hate burdening other people)
2 Receiving Gifts (I honestly thought something like this would be high but then I remembered that Giving Gifts is my thing, receiving not so important)
touch and affirmation is actually my #1s!! then quality time is 3, gifts 4, last is acts of service. (i like to do acts of service, having someone do things for me that they dont want to do is not what turns me on i guess)
I'm INFJ as well and physical touch is my number one, quality time is number two :-)
Your Scores
9 Acts of Service
7 Words of Affirmation
6 Quality Time
4 Physical Touch
4 Receiving Gifts
So...ok...is this good bad?
Felt..uber weird taking this cos im Deff not in the market & never will be again in this lifetime, when you've had the best there is no desire for the rest...but i guess it can't hurt to learn something new, lol...on this strange & unusual journey inward.
my main job for many years was EMS, First Responder, ..but..i was also a professional Artist & Songwriter & a writer on the side, even ghost-wrote a book for someone who could not write it..& have a degree in Computer Science, thus installed Lans & taught classes, etc yada yada...so..ya, i did all kinds of stuff there...wore many hats..but most..were Service to Others kinda jobs. i wanted to be a Dr, spec in DNA..but dad had his first heart attack just before i was to go (Columbia had accepted me! )so...i stayed to help them..of course..
a Lot may have to do with a Narc step mum & basically sick thus absentee dad...then consider her whole family were varying degrees of narcs & worse..zip past that to adulthood & then run smack into several more Narc boyfriends (i Must have an invis tat on my forehead: Narc Bait.) skip all that & meet Mate of my soul, who was an INTJ...we were..as he liked to say, Blissful together..we completed each other, what one may lack the other had...having come from a life where even my birthdays were 'forgotten' as a rule....and virtual servitude was the norm..i never asked anyone for help no matter how drop dead i was....so...when this wonderful golden god Noticed & spoke up in protest, then, realising i had no choice, offered to 'pitch in'..i was Ecstatic.....he also would go out of his way to give me little things like..a flower or flowers...zing to the heart poerty....sing me songs he made up on the spot...he knew i hated limelight so he would take me to low key diners & feed me when i was so exhausted i could not decide what to cook or remember how to cook it.....he would draw me a bath, alight the room in candles, then sit nearby and read to me...(i also did same for him cos i knew these things meant everything to him..his mum was less than loving as well :) We were two inseparable hermits...when we had to go out he tppk the lead & Shone like a diamond & i was always there in the wings giving him the will to shine on...& sometimes the cues when he drew blanks..no one ever knew..lol....omg i miss him so much..no kidding, with every breath in & out...i can still smile at a daisy in the sunlight or dew on spiderwebs..but to do it....in my mind..i'm still sharing them with him..he walks beside me always...okies..im done blabbering...sorry to anyone it may have bothered :)
Yes agreed, time is very precious ☺
1. Quality Time
2. Acts of Service
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Physical Touch
5. Receiving Gifts
(INFJ)
My two big ones were quality time and words of affirmation. Makes sense because when I was growing up I felt like no one had time for me and I got a lot of criticism. I do like physical touch but only from certain people. Gifts and acts of service are nice but not that important.
Lol, you're so funny. I loved the Maurice Chevalier voice. I am an INFJ and my number 1 is physical touch.
To me, acts of service is not transactional. I like to do things for people to show them that I care for them and I want their life to be easier. When others help me out, I am deeply touched, even if uncomfortable. Maybe that is because I had to rely on myself so much and I have a really hard time asking for help. That said...from top to bottom:
9 Acts of Service
8 Quality Time
7 Words of Affirmation
4 Physical Touch
2 Receiving Gifts
I'm an INFJ: I got 10 - Quality time. 7 - meaningful gifts. 6 - words of affirmation. Lowest was acts of service - 3
10 quality time
8 words of affirmation
6 physical touch
5 acts of service
1 recieving gifts
I got quality time:10 which makes a lot of sense to me as an INFJ(of course) and I got 6 for physical touch but ... I’m not a touchy person? So that threw me off... but my act of service and gifts is the same I think because i currently have a soulmate-type of friend who buys me gifts randomly when she thinks of me or knows I would cry over it. And I 100% of the time do cry when she gifts them to me. Those were 5. Words of affirmation are lies to me so a 4 is accurate haha!
I don't like when people do things for me neither but at the same time it IS meaningful for me. Because not many people ask me if I need their help. So "acts of service" switched places with gifts. I like gifts like everybody but they are just objects. Unless I got a travel on which I can spend time with my (boy)friend 😄
INFP
40% quality time
20% words of affirmation
20% physical touch
13% acts of service
7% recieving gifts
As INFJ
I got in the 1st place both: Physical touch and quality time.
2nd words of affirmation
3rd acts of service
4th receiving gifts
Hmm...I guess I need more things to be happy hahah
just wanted to pause and say that love being transactional is really not a bad thing. relationships are give and take, and people would be better off if they stopped thinking of love as this grandiose feeling of "id do anything for you and die for you just because you exist" instead of "i enjoy who you are and what you bring to my life, and both of those things change over time, but you're worth the work to make things work"
that's just my opinion, though. i don't believe in unconditional love unless it's a parent with a child, or with a pet lol.
I’m an INFP and got Acts of Service as my main and then Quality Time as a pretty close competitor.
OK Franky Boy, Mine are: (The highest score being 12)
8 - Quality Time
7 - Receiving Gifts
7 - Words of Affirmation
6 - Acts of Service
2. - Physical Touch
I want to know when my engagement ring is coming? I can send you my preference. It doesn’t matter that I am pushing 60. Age is just a number. As long as you are not into the band Slayer, or rap, I think we will live happily ever after. But, not too much lovey dovey stuff eh. It’s only a 2 on my list. Cheers! 🤷♀️😉😆
The car, Dad, I mean He wrecked it, totaled it.
Interesting because whenever I take a test and get a result of that is the opposite of my reality I don’t take, meaning if I know I don’t care much about receiving gifts and the tests says otherwise, I would stick to the fact that I don’t like receiving them .. but tbh I like the idea of surrendering to the test results, its kinda relieving I will try to do that
sooo... who did you think your audience was? I feel really loved when someone embraces me and does stuff for me (without me asking ofc). And receiving gifts is like... because it's related to money and traditional "winning over a woman by buying her stuff" thinking. Quality time however is great!
purplemind93 Same.