Ok, somebody read my childhood diary...😊 Seriously, this video resonates my journey, living the single life. I'm 41, never been married, no kids and waiting on the Lord through obedience is the best thing I could ever do, and continue to do. I'm content. I'm blessed. Thank you Jesus 😊 💓
Ah yes. I understand this perfectly. Im 22 and most of my friends have couples and im single. Never had a couple. Theres a point were I got kind of pissed off and told God ''why them and not me''. But then I started examining myself and concluded that im not ready for that. Also, add some issues with lust into the formula. So I told God: You know what, Im done with trying to do the things my way. Im going to do it your way. Your time, not mine. Since then Ive felt less anxiety. Search Gods kingdom above all else, and everything else will be added to you.
I've been going through the same emotions. I'm 21. And I was dating this girl that I thought was going to be my future wife. But she needed up breaking us up 2 weeks ago because of my anxiety. Because of that, God opened my eyes that I'm not ready to marry. It drove me closer to God, taught me life changing lessons, and showed me my faults. I know God's timing perfect, he aloud the relationship not work because God kows I'm not ready. That whole scenario taught me to trust him more. Which is resulting with less anxiety.
One HUGE mistake most Christians make is dating a girl who doesn’t have Christ in her heart (goes both ways). As much attractive she is and doesn’t believe in Christ or isn’t a Christian, walk away from it, it’ll only bring you far away from God. Be patient, the Lord will make it happen in His time.
I agree 100% . But unfortunately its always rare to find a Christian partner ,so its very difficult, sometimes impossible. Also if you are a unattractive person it is even more difficult. But God will certainly help us with it, if it is his will .
I made that very mistake but it didn’t last long because God was convicting me big time and I had to turn it away pretty fast. The worst feeling was that it had already been a good 2 months by that time and I had been giving her signals that did not fully communicate my convictions, so when it ended she said she felt disrespected and lied to and that’s the very thing that is true. It is very disrespectful to get into a relationship with someone when you know it’ll only work if they become Christian. Absolutely terrible, have the learned the lesson the hard way, but unfortunately hurt someone I care about in the process. This is why the Bible says not to be unequally yoked. Nothing good comes from it. Don’t do it fellas!
This reminds me very much of Proverbs 31:30 I think it was. “Charm is deceitful; beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Punctuation I’m pretty confident is wrong because proverbs grammar is weird lol
Man you can't imagine how much this relates to me atm. A couple of months back i started getting a huge crush on this woman that was my co worker. (And when i say huge crush i mean like a mega crush.) She has beautiful brown hair, a soothing voice just.. crushing. Anyway, in my heart i knew she didn't follow Christ. (Nit many people in my line of work do) This mad me sad. It took so much praying and focusing on Christ but in He numbed my feelings and then He took them away. Later i found out the she was dating with another co worker of us bothwhile he was still in a relationship. She knew this and still decided to start a relationship with him. This made me a little sad again and made me a bit angry. (Because deep down i had hoped she did follow Christ or atleast have a moral compas). But then God made me realise that Christ had saved me of someone that not shared His morals and His ways. And that she would hurt me. I am truly thankfull that He protected me. He always does. And He will always keep doing so. *Current situation: As you could probably guess their relationship did not work out.. I didn't see her for a while untill recently. I have to pray hard to not let me get any feelings for her again. But Jesus will guide and protect me. Even if it "hurts" He will have my back and my heart.
The part about how singleness isn’t necessarily “preparation for marriage” is such facts. So good. I’ve never thought about it from the perspective of having it be the time for you to pursue what God has for you and his plan and how you can minister to others. Wow. Just wow. Thank you!
My frustration comes when I see immature people in relationships. Whether they’re Christians or not, I hate to see that people who lack emotional and mental maturity get into a somewhat chill relationship while I’m here developing myself to be better and not getting a chance. Yes, it could be a pride thing on my part that I’m comparing. But the frustration’s real, man.
As a 30-year old single (never even had a boyfriend) this message is very helpful to me. I have a lot of thoughts down below, but to sum them up: I've never been happier since I've accepted that what God has for me at each point in my life is the best for me. Busy cultivating friendships in church, especially through prayer and bible study groups and evangelism. EDIT: I suggest every church creates and fosters prayer groups, and Bible study groups. There's no excuse of lack of time anymore since people can hold online meetings through Zoom and Google Meet. There cannot be spiritual growth in isolation. If you're single and struggling, stop pitying yourself and complaining and get busy with God's work, knowing that the more you genuinely seek His will for you, the more He will reveal the path you should take and by trusting Him completely you will find the most amazing inexpressible joy ever! God's fountains never dry out, so your soul doesn't have to. This is my personal experience - that every new day, the Lord provides me with faith and blessings - and I've escaped negative emotions that could lead me to depression because of it. Remember this: Either single, or married, we all have a longing for community which can be plenty satisfied by belonging to and serving a solid, healthy church already. Don't make hasty decisions about marriage thinking you won't have a family when you get old, for the Church is Christ's family. Oh! But the people in church can be so hard to deal with, sometimes! Ha, so would be your spouse and children that you want so bad, and they'd demand MUCH MORE from you than fellow church members xD Lasty, it is every sincere Christian's mission to spread the gospel. Get involved in evangelism. No excuses. There is a lot of resources out there to equip you even if you're shy as I used to be. From the bottom of my heart, I hope you find peace with God. He's better than any marriage will ever be. And we know what a marriage here on earth is supposed to point towards: the ultimate and eternal union between Jesus and His Church.
Me too. Never had a boyfriend at 47 yrs old. No Christ centered man came my way. I do have lots of sisters and my parents are super supportive. I have all my needs met but a man. I am glad you have peace. I am praying for this too. Jesus is coming. Take care
That's the key and it looks like you've found it - godliness with contentment is great gain 😊 I'm married but I have friends who aren't and one serves the Lord in ways I couldn't have, being married and having children and vice versa! God chooses different people to work for Him in different situations!
Thanks for this. I am still single after praying for years. I in my flesh think it is not fair. But then again, when Jesus was stretched out on the cross, that wasn't fair either.
Just out of curiosity, have you only prayed individually for a marriage? Or have you also brought it up to the Church through prayer groups or at least just your Pastor?
As a 25 year old, I relate to this so much. I recently went through a bad breakup where we thought we'd get married but it just didn't work out. Been beating myself up for months because I was blamed for everything. God has been working on me little by little ever since
Also 25, also recently been through a nasty one that nearly led to marriage. Keep prayerful, there's plenty more fish in the sea. A great book is "Not Yet Married" by Marshall Segal. Drawing focus off all the hurt and instead drawing even more of my attention and focus back to God was the biggest part of the healing process for me, and finally I feel content in my singleness again (and therefore less clingy, and more attractive to a potential spouse)
@@Astendor I lost a girlfriend I fully intended on marrying after a 6 year relationship, when I was 22, right when I was about to finish college. I'm 32 now, and I still struggle on and off. Regret and longing and what not. Only reason I clicked this is because my birthday is coming up and that tends to be when I get that dread of being alone forever and think of what I lost and blahblahblah. Point is, what he says in the second half is what you should be doing. Things like, focusing on growing closer to God, taking joy in serving him regardless of circumstances, and using your past only to grow as a Godly man striving to become the man you were made to be. As for more practical tips I'd say fight like you've never fought before to avoid sexual content. Most importantly and obviously, porn, but also tv/movies, instagram, tiktok, reddit, or whatever you might use. These are filled with women looking their- often filtered- best, usually not being modest, and all it's gonna do is make you long for something you can't have. I use facebook but limit it to daily scrolls just for keeping up with the news and friends, but try to avoid doom scrolling just to avoid overconsuming everyone's life that always looks better on the internet than it actually is. I have way more success getting over my past hurts and current longings when I am present in the real world than when I am consumed with the digital world.
In my 30's and single, and it's really been in the past year that I've let go of the dream of a family, not in a bad way, but in a very freeing way to be honest. Now I just give it into God's hands. If it happens, great; if it doesn't, I'm still so blessed and can appreciate the benefits of singleness, something that my married friends will attest to. A while back I was at a busy restaurant waiting for my food, and it occurred to me, as time went by and I was getting more impatient, that I was only frustrated b/c I couldn't see what was happening back in the kitchen. If I was back there, I would see the kitchen staff working their butts off and realize they were in fact working towards getting my food ready. And I saw how that's true with God as well. I get frustrated b/c I think God's not moving, but that is MY problem, not His. God IS in fact at work, at all times, even when I sleep, and He has His own reasons for making my life the way it is, and I can trust that if I submit myself to Him, He will make something glorious out of it. So now I'm in a hurry to let go of worry (haha, didn't mean to rhyme) b/c I don't want to waste my time on it. Worry is just me being stupid, not trusting that God is who He says He is; that He is faithful, and good, and loving, and working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are the called according to His purposes.
Wow..he is speaking from the heart of the Father. Singleness is not just “preparation” for marriage. It is a state of being. You are whole as a single person. You are whole as a married person. Trust God 🙏🏽
I resonate with this completely. I went into Uni at 18 expecting to come out of it with a wife. I'm now 23 and only now stepping into freedom and manhood. I'm now far more prepared for marriage than I was then but tbh I don't mind waiting longer. I can see what God has brought me through and look forward to how much further he'll take me and grow me before giving me a relationship (if that's even the plan). I also have far better friendships now and have found real joy in being part of God's church as he builds it. I love my job and the joy of taking responsibility for my life. As I have my needs met through intimacy with God, true close friendships that he's given me, and the adventure of the task he has set before me, I realise that there is far more to life than what I once idolised as the only thing that mattered.
My husband and I just got married this year in January. I was 30 and he was 32. It was an answer to prayers and if I would've settled earlier it would have been bad. I thank God for my husband all the time. Keep praying and asking.
A lot of grief about singleness comes from unfounded fantasies about being in a relationship. While being in one is nice, there’s a good chance that what you’re imagining isn’t at all close to reality. You’re better off embracing the reality God has given you and not chasing “what could be” until God makes it a fact. Because chances are, “what could be” is only what YOU think could happen, not what actually could happen; none of us knows enough to predict how our desired reality will go or whether it’s good for us.
Oh my gosh, I NEEDED to hear this. I have been struggling with lust and thought the only way I am going to overcome this sin was if I get into a relationship. Now that I know God better, I realized that patience is key and that I am not ready yet. I am still struggling with lust and I know God wants me to wait until I am able to overcome this sin through Jesus Christ. Thank you for this video, God bless🙏🏼
The amount of times I was screaming “SAME!” in my head was innumerable. Thank you for your vulnerability. As of late, I’ve come to a similar conclusion. Overall, singleness is such a gift, but yeah there are times of sadness and longing.
Yes! My experience with (and observing those are me) singleness has made me realize that marriage can be great, but the desire of marriage and a family can become an idol if you aren't careful. The safest place for our dreams and desires is when they are surrendered into the hands of God. The pressure to 'find your person' and the false belief that marriage fulfills you will be lifted off your shoulders when you set it in his hands, for his timing. God has brought me into so many cool opportunities I could have missed if I was still so focused on how I wasn't married. Thanks for sharing!
YES!! I was in a relationship from 18-20 and convinced it would be my “turn” next. It took me a while to deal with that loss while also surrendering the fact that tons of my friends were marrying (including my little sister!). Now I’m nearing 23 and feeling so grateful for my current ministry and job and community. At that time I had so much mess in my life and God gave me space and time that I didn’t want, to deal with it😂 THANK YOU for this encouragement that singleness is not punishment, but that sometimes it’s needed for us to prepare *more* for either marriage OR single work and ministry (because those are just the context for our genuine purpose of serving the Lord through the Spirit)!
I'm 31 and went through a 5 year long distance relationship and got to caught up in the fantasy; like "finally i have someone to love. its going to be great~" but it just didn't work out in reality. Also some advice; 1. don't ever expect love by itself can do everything because the truth is it can only do so much. It's like relying on a tightrope instead of a bridge. 2. and this especially goes to couples who are opposites - MARRIAGE DOESN'T CHANGE WHO YOU ARE! it doesn't FIX things. it seals the deal but not the problems! don't ever think "oh if I get married things will get better!" nope doesn't work that way. I was lucky to realize this early and almost married the wrong woman and both of us would have been so miserable.
As a young Christian man with no prospects, I can't really express how much I've needed to hear this from another young single man. Pretty much every sermon I've ever heard that's directed towards single Christians is "Just be patient and God will make it happen eventually." That is clearly not always what happens. Also, it makes marriage sound like something that rightfully belongs to a Christian, and in my mind, it sounds like a form of taking something for granted. I'm praying that God will help me to grow closer to Him and stay faithful to Him regardless of my relationship status. If I never get married, I know full well that I will constantly bout with disappointment and loneliness, and I will always have that hanging over my head. But even with that, I want to follow God and make a difference in His name for His Kingdom. I sincerely hope he'll provide me a wife (and soon, haha 😅), but even if not, I acknowledge that is not sufficient reason to give God anything less than my life and my best. Honestly, I think churches should have groups for single young men and single young women, so they can simply enjoy each other's fellowship and talk about God and grow spiritually together. Not everything has to have both genders together. And having them separated for specific groups could even help with focusing on God, rather than opposite-sex members of the group.
@@rayrayb06 My honest guess is simply that no one chooses to organize it. Currently because of my work contract, my choice of churches in the area is limited. The one I'm part of doesn't have a lot of family unity (sadly). After God moves me elsewhere, I will seriously consider trying to organize such a group in a local church. Also, I think a bunch of guys constantly hanging out together and discussing the Bible, encouraging one another, and enjoying each other's fellowship will be much harder targets for temptation in general.
@@tungstwn1241you have fun with that. I dont trust churches and I certainly don't trust a bunch of guys who are better looking, are God's favorites and are always lucky in everything trying to lecture me on how I should feel. They got a wife early on and im pushing 33 with no hope. Sick of this crap life and everyone else always getting what they want and I get screwed over.
Thank you. I definitely go through periods of time where I don't understand why I see so many 18 and 19 year olds getting married and I'm 28 and single. It's a struggle not to be jealous since I have desire to be in a meaningful relationship but I have to trust God. He has the best timing.
Never heard of you, don't know what else you've posted, but this video is EXACTLY what Christians need. I wish I heard this when I was 18, 22, and 26. (I'm 26.) We need more voices like yours! Subscribed
I'm too damn dumb to see any blessing in being alone at 54. No amount of worship or study or Scripture can pull me out of this hating being alive, and praying I don't live much longer. I wouldn't wish this hell on anyone.
Wonderful video! Goes to show that a lot of us Christians view marriage as a way to be fulfilled, when it's actually a way to compliment each other. I too used to have these marriage fantasies and such a few years ago, but I think one thing that was my reality check is that couples- even Christian ones- have problems and issues as well. There is no perfect marriage, and having experienced these unresolved issues within a couple firsthand made me take a step back and reflect that I'm truly not ready or mature enough to handle these issues with another person. Sure, I still want to marry my dream guy and I'm sure God will fulfill that desire in His perfect times, but right now my singleness is a great time to reflect on just how immature I am still, and how I still need to work on my relationship with Jesus. Thanks for the great insight Isaac, God bless!!
I really liked what you said about being careful what we allow ourselves to watch. It’s easy to say, “oh yeah, I’m a strong Christian; I can handle this.” I feel so convicted. I’m not watching anything inappropriate, but I can become lazy and say oh, it’s just a show. But it can't really affect the heart.
Totally agree with this. God is preparing you (and your future spouse) in this season of singleness. And definitely worth working on major struggles so you’re a whole person, confident in your God-given identity before you embark on a relationship. Also heard someone say marriage is to make you holy, not happy. Definitely believe God uses our relationship with our spouse to draw us closer to Him (and in that, closer to each other). And yes! God makes us wait for our heart’s desire to cause us to turn to Him for joy and to be complete in Him but wow, it’s soooo hard waiting. My husband and I struggled with years of infertility but now we have three (almost four) miracle babies. I learned so very much and grew so much deeper in my relationship with God in that season of waiting. And I’ve seen the miraculous hand of God in our life (because doctors said we had less than 1% chance of having just one baby, let alone four)! Anyway, take away is keep your eyes on Jesus. Draw close to Him and He will draw close to you. I do believe He gives us these desires (so long as they align with His will) but don’t let that desire stagnate you in the meantime - keep pursuing the faith and your purpose.
This is something I have been battling mentally. Wondering why I’m still single and 28 years old. Seeing all of my friends married and with children, even my sister has a boyfriend 😭 but I have honesty seen God’s faithfulness in my singleness. I have honestly debated lately weather or not I even want to get married anymore lol because I won’t have as much time for Jesus as when being single 😭😭 I struggle with this thought. I want God to take my time, not a relationship with someone else 😭 God willing, God will have to point him out like crazy! Even then, it will be hard to get me to marry someone now hahah
A friend of mine is a christian girl who comes from an abusive family and she run away from them and wanted to get married and create her own family because she had no one in her life and was scared of being alone and struggling to make ends meet. she settled for a non christian cuz she couldn't find a christian. But she's happy with him and he respects her believes and let's her practice her faith.
Maybe adjust your perspective, why do you think you won’t have time for God while married? You and your husband can join couples groups at your church and then also individual groups for men and women and still grow your faith. You can take mission trips together or separate through your church or other Christ based ministries. My church has all of those things available and although I’m going to church alone I’m still excited to participate and continue my pursuit to learn God’s heart. And you know what’s really cool about that? You not only get to have a routine that allows you time to get to know Jesus and socialize with your brothers and/or sisters in Christ but when your husband comes along and is pursuing you, inviting him to your church groups and philanthropy will be the perfect courting activity (as well as help him branch out and strengthen his faith by associating with a God fearing woman like you!). It’s not all bad, I want to be a wife and mother but making friends in my church groups and recreational hobbies makes my life so fulfilled and enriched in the meantime and I cannot wait to share that with my future husband and our children, God willing. Just fill your time, you’ll be able to connect with Christ and enjoy your time with your husband if you choose to. You can’t make him join you, but if he’s for you then he’ll see how beautiful, admirable, and irreplaceable your dedication to God and donation of your time really is. Many blessings sister and good luck. Happy new year! 💗
@@inlovingfavor this was so sweet and encouraging! Thank you so much! I’m happy to say that I’m in a relationship a year after posting this 😂💀 girl and we’re gonna be married soon. I guess life changes a lot in a year.
Hello! I read something in a book, and it has stuck with me ever since: "Marriage is not the top priority in life, nor is romantic or sexual love. Marriage is a precious gift, and intimacy in marriage is a beautiful expression of God's project, but Scripture calls us to seasons when even sexual practice must cease in order for spouses to recalibrate their prayer life and redefine their highest priority of communion with God." We don't need the blessing any more than we need the one who can give us the blessing! In the end, only He matters.
Hey man, I found your channel when I was a freshman in high school (and I'm a junior now), and you are such a role model for young Christian people. It's good to know that there are still Godly people out there. This video is so helpful because I've recently been struggling with self-worth issues (I had a crush on this really Godly guy at my church, and I told my best friend (who is also at our church), and she started dating him after they went on a mission's trip), and it really felt like God was punishing me and rewarding her for hurting me. Seeing them all the time at youth really hurts, because it's extremely hard to not feel horrible because everyone's dating someone right now and sometimes it feels like no one will want to marry me or will be interested in me at all. It's still really hard, but I know that my relationship with God is the most important thing in my life, and it will always be, but this season of singleness is a blessing because I can work on my relationship with God and growing myself as a woman of God. Thanks once again for your awesome videos!
This video is so good! I love that you talked about how many people don’t talk about singleness as something other than preparation for marriage. Our main goal is to keep our eyes in Christ, even when it’s difficult ❤️
You spoke every thought I have on my mind in regards to singleness. Everything you said is exactly what I feel. I've said it before: their is a purpose behind being single. Through my singleness, I have come to realize that God is everything. My family, my friends, my joy, my job, relationships are nothing if I don't have God. You have to give yourself to God and let him take care of the rest.
God spoke directly to me TONIGHT about this very reality! How can I expect to be where He wants me and in a relationship if I'm not where He wants me to begin with? He is SO GOOD and knows exactly what I need WHEN I need it! Praise the Lord!
You are very young, you are just starting! I understand the struggle. I am 27 and never have been in a relationship. I encountered several opportunities and then had to say no to all of them for I couldn't start an unequal yoke relationship. Singleness has a beauty to it as well as some kind of gloominess to it... but I know that marriage would change it either. Ups and downs in both cases. It's very very true we must focus on glorifying God. You are just starting this ministry... may God lead you always and remove yourself from distractions, when the right person arrives you will be mature and ready, so keep it up. You are not alone in your singleness! It sometimes might feel odd, but it's better than unnecessary heartbreaks!
Yeah everyone around me at small groups are getting married or are engaged. It can be really discouraging. But it’s better to get into the right relationship that God has for you than to rush God’s timing and get into the wrong one.
Thanks for sharing this. This resonates with me so much! There were a few times in my walk with God that I succumbed to this self pity because of my singleness (it always seems to happen when I have a crush in my life) And similarly, it is being discontented with the life that God has given to me. Thank God who allows me to grieve and is the one gives the strength to go through these times! God is really patient with me haha
Very well said Isaac! I’m in a similar season and, at times, it can be very difficult to be honest about this deep desire in ourselves. Learning to prioritize to know the Lord, love Him, and delight in Him brings a deeper joy I’ve often hear about and want to genuinely experience. I believe that times like these, it is a blessing and an encouragement to be single so that we can focus on the Lord more. Still learning how to be content with singleness is definitely not easy, but understanding what God is doing in my life is very encouraging. Very blessed by what you do and I’ll be praying for you and your ministry!
Wow this was painfully insightful. God has given you so much wisdom. For real. I've spent most of my 10 years of marriage being bitter and disappointed because it's been practically nothing but let down after let down. After I waited for marriage to have sex and it wasn't even worth it. And then I go to church and see all these Godly couples and I just want what they have so bad. But the things you said in this video make a lot of sense.. even though I'm starting to cry even as I write this. Thank you for this video.
True. I am the person you described from A to Z. I've struggled with lust also and would spend days fantasizing my wedding day and how it'll go and what would happen but I realised that life is not black and white and that it's either I give my fantasies away for the grace of God and leave everything to Him. Thank God for sending you to for further opening my eyes❤
I always go back to Paul, who was, as we can see, canonically single. His life was passionate, unhindered, and sold out for Jesus. I regularly think of how my occupation, ministry, and life as a whole would shift immensely, and require great pruning. If God brings someone, great! I will rejoice then, but shall also rejoice in the now, the day that the Lord hath made. God is immensely good, and His timing (and withholding) is perfect.
Great video Isaac! As an 18 year old, I relate to you so much in this video and it’s really reinforced my goal to continue growing closer to God. God bless you man🙏
Great timing on this video! God 100% put this in my recommended, been thinking lots about singleness and dating recently. Great to hear other christians talking about it and providing Godly wisdom.
Single Christians are being taught how to manage their singleness, not move beyond it, if that's what they want. It's unfair to assume because someone is single that they're not ready, or there is something lacking in their relationship with God and he needs to "teach them something". It could be poor choices, bad attitude or not looking in the right place. Sometimes there is a practical solution, not more hyper-spiritual busywork.
I really enjoyed this topic. I became a Christian 3years ago and almost instantly wanted to be married, wanted to have a baby. I'm definitely thankful, and realize looking back I needed to work on some things and keep my eyes on him.
From personal experience, yes, if you don’t work on these things before getting into a relationship or marriage, it wreaks havoc. No one will enter marriage perfect, but coming in with the least amount of baggage as possible is the way to go.
It's not even about marriage and sex. I am a life long virgin who has never dated, never done anything with anyone in anyway. Never even kissed. It would just be nice to simply go out on a date and yes, feel all those fluttery feelings when I'm with the guy I'm attracted to. There doesn't have to be any sex involved or going back to his house. The experience would be nice.
wait girls like you exist? interesting, i always thought girls had experience no matter what they might say. I guess it depends on different things, like culture
@@Leah-Raquell I don't think so. They must have at least some experience, it depends on culture. If it's a culture that is all about arranged marriages then yeah I would expect women like that, even non-Christian women would have little to no experience in such a culture
Hello perfectionista, I want to encourage you that your feelings are ok and there is nothing wrong with you. Yes for some reasons I can't figure out most single Christians seem to believe that they can't have any contact with members of the opposite gender. I would love to have a woman as a friend who I could spend time with in a purely nonsexual way. To go out and do things with and not having to worry about what do I do now? My gosh and then you get derogatory comments from others saying they didn't know women like you existed. I don't suppose you live anywhere around the east coast?
Thank you for these videos. SOmething I've realized in my life is ANY amount of justification leads down the dangerous path of living with and accepting your sin and living with it. There were many times where I couldn't even say I was struggling with my sin, but merely accepting it as a part of my life. I knew it was sin. I knew it was wrong, but I'd say it was a reward after I completed something difficult or I'd have some other justification. Any other attitude other than stopping it here and now is dangerous and shows you're not truly ready to stop it. Take sin seriously, even if "it's not hurting anyone". Sin is wrong regardless. Avoid any and all lewd images/videos, etc. that you can. What you view does effect you whether you realize it or not. No one is saying it's easy, but sin is wrong regardless.
My analogy for this type of thing is Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars. There's all these things he wants "Right now". He wants to be strong enough to save everyone. He thinks he deserves to be a master and feels insulted when the council tells him he is not ready. Emperor Palpatine makes Anakin believe that he can get everything he wants and control the future. His concern for Padme and his vision of her death that became selfish, because he couldn't just be patient, and trust that everything would be okay. In the end, he was the one to make his nightmares come true, because he wanted to be in control. And he ended up being the cause of her death. Obviously, having an unhealthy relationship won't likely end in murder, but the point I'm trying to make is that you shouldn't jump the gun and try to force things to go your way. If you listen to God, and trust Jesus and have faith, eventually good things will happen. But if you let the devil seduce you into being afraid or thinking you have to be in control of everything or even that you're better than those who are trying to tell you the truth, you might end up getting the opposite of what you wanted. Don't get so obsessed with your desires that you will resort to doing wrong things to get what you want. The thing you want might be just around the corner and if you get scared and veer off the path, you will end up missing what was waiting for you.
45 and single. Enjoyed this video. Lots of fun and love how you deliver with a lot of humor. One thing I'll say, I'm not so sure Paul's gift of singleness is really as commonly interpreted. I used to think of it like you do. But I'm coming around to the idea that whatever situation we're in is a gift from God, including unwillful singleness. I try to view my situation as a gift, from above, no matter what. And to never waste its season.
Issac, your videos are so good. It is so true we need to find ourselves in Christ first before we can get into any relationship. And the statement of God withholding something from you not to be mean but for us to learn something or lean into Him more has been my time right now trying to be a worship pastor/leader. Great video as always.
Oh man you are right on track! I grasped much of this before getting married all thanks to what God had done in my heart. However, even after getting married I went through deep conviction over how I approached my prayer life before marriage. I would spend so much time praying about my future husband and asking God to just bring him into my life. God convicted me that my focus during singleness was my future husband and not really God. I realized I wasted my singleness. I wasted time with God. God was kind enough to still prepare me for marriage and bring a good Godly man into my life but I experienced grief over what I had lost. To those that are single, your singleness is so much more than you realize.
@@tylerlee277 so glad it encouraged you! Yes, God has blessed our marriage tremendously. It gets better every year as we continue to submit ourselves to the Lord. My biggest suggestion is remember that God is there before your spouse, during your marriage, and after it ends. He’s the prize, the goal. A marriage isn’t definitely not the most fulfilling thing there is, God’s love is and when someone grasps that they’re actually ready to be married.
I actually found a Christian girl on Twitter back in February who looks so much my type and she's so passionate in her faith too. I felt like God guided me to her. In regards to what you said about lust, I stopped looking at explicit images when I found her. Haven't looked at anything like that since. Unfortunately, I fell into temptation at some point in July for several mornings after waking up I think, at which point I asked for prayer and advice and the temptations went away quickly after that. God is so faithful. I've not had a problem since then which I'm thankful for. Also over the summer, I feel my faith has grown stronger and I'm well aware I should be putting Christ first. The past few weeks, my priorities have shifted and I've been putting entertainment and other unimportant things aside and I'm more focused on more important things like my faith. Still working on it though. I'm really hoping the girl I found is the one for me. I haven't really talked to her unfortunately but something interesting has happened. After complimenting her art a few weeks ago, her dad started following me! My friends think he's just protecting her, but I was thinking he's wondering if I'm interested in her, or maybe no reason related to her which seems unlikely to me.
@@MrTahref I’m well aware, but this girl has herself on every mainstream social media platform and her family too. Her dad’s a pastor and church planter and they all look especially dedicated in their faith. She values Christian modesty too.
@@Lukandon Ok, i cant judge, i dont even know her. When you ever get to meet and date her make sure you take your sweet time to know her really well. God bless
@@mygodismighty No. I got my hopes up too much. I don't want to get into all the details but basically I had started DMing her 2 Octobers ago, but she soon said she's not the type anymore to chat online. I still follow her on X, and I saw recently she posted she prefers to get to know someone in person, which makes sense. I completely understand. Unfortunately, I'm not able to meet her because I live far away from her in another country (UK vs US). I actually want to move to the US, so me stumbling on her and the fact that she ticks so many boxes on things I want in a wife just felt like fate to me. Before that post she also said the only exception would be if a guy interested in her had about the same social media presence as her, because she made the point that she has so much of herself on social media (photos and videos) and that it's not difficult to get a sense of what she's like from that, and so she finds it unfair that most of the guys who tried to chat with her have little to no online presence. I felt indirectly called out, lol. But yeah, if I get the opportunity to travel there, I'll probably go over to her church service to meet her. It's not looking likely though, and I hate the UK. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to leave. I keep praying that I'll be able to travel there, but nothing yet. It's a little frustrating at times because I want someone in my life to care about who's consistent (my friends aren't always available), but I have to remain patient.
whether or not im "ready" for a relationship isnt the problem imo. I could be as "ready" as having millions of dollars saved, a huge house, and be perfectly in tune with my emotions, but Modern Women will still find a fault to hyperfixate on and let THAT be their reasoning for why im undeserving of love/affection. Thats why i put so much of my own time and effort into learning how to be content in loneliness. The odds of me ending up alone are shockingly high, and if i were to put time and effort into "bettering myself" only for that investment to never pay off, that would be a MAJOR issue for me. Instead, its simply easier and less dramatic for me to surrender my expectations of ever having love/affection and instead of working toward that goal, i just accept my position of loneliness and live my life the best that i can
This video is very encouraging. It is true that relationships should never be an idol. It used to be one for me (still trying to eliminate it) and I’ve been with some non Christian girls. It led to nothing but disappointment, shame, anger and sadness. It does not satisfy nor bring joy in the long run. I’ve noticed I’ve found more peace when I turn to the lord instead of turning to women for pinnacle fulfillment. Do not go into a relationship just based on someone’s looks. Looks change, but conviction does not. Use singleness to build your character and getting closer to God. Gradually I’ve noticed that I’m becoming less and less swayed with singleness. Use it as a weapon. You have more time. Do not envy sinners. God bless
Hello Issac thank you for sharing with us. I've been a Christian for 3 years now and I'm going through this process right now. Thanks for the advice. God bless you.
As a 27 year old single woman, I advocate to my disciple the great power in intentional singleness. While there are absolutely struggles that none of my friends have ever known, I experience versatility, ministry, and admissibility that I would likely not as a married woman. Are there difficult days? Of course. Does God grow me in my contentment daily? Without a doubt.
There are surprisingly a lot of older single people here in the comments (I'm 22). This is probably the one area of my life that takes up 95% of my thoughts, so this will be a long one. From a young age I used to look forward to dating and marriage a lot, especially dating. My older brother (he's 24 now) had quite a "successful" dating life, he started at the age of 12 and he's currently dating a girl whom he brought to Christ for the past 5 years or so. He hasn't proposed yet however. Growing up I was always a quiet boy, I never talked much, never cried much. I've always been preoccupied with my own mind. I never got bored of being alone and not talking to anyone, cuz I could just rewatch TV/movies/anime in my mind, maybe change the story a little, imagine being a character in it. Even today I spend way too much time daydreaming, especially since 2020. I've also never been to a party after I turned 16. Whenever we met people at church or at someone's house it was my brother that did all the talking, I only laughed and nodded occasionally. My parents never really taught me any social skills, so I always had a hard time making friends. I did have crushes and all that, but I wasn't confident enough to ask them out until highschool, where I got rejected, twice. Yeah, ouch. I realized I knew nothing absolutely nothing about women and then I began researching. I read books, blogs, talked to lots of people, watched hours of seminars, youtube videos & online courses, and even observed women's behavior in real life. I went to college, thinking this is my moment. I did my best to implement what I learned, I got good at talking to people, I made lots of friends, and I even got a girl interested in me. I was very excited, but for some reason she got bored of me I think and a few months later I find out she's dating another guy, for how long idk. But I didn't give up, I tried hanging out with other girls, making new friends, taking part in different events, I even hosted a part of the fresher's program hoping the junior girls might be interested. But nothing was really working out. Soon, I found myself hanging out with 1 friend who's currently my bestfriend and I was starting to give up on dating. And then a little something came out of China in 2020, perfect timing. Though I actually enjoyed the alone time. A couple months ago I started my post grad, and I don't talk to anyone in class except the lecturer. It's funny cuz of all the students, I talk the most to the prof, but then I don't say a word to anyone else. I sit alone, eat lunch alone, play single player video games alone, etc. I never call people or receive calls unless it's related to work. I don't even text people these days, last time I texted my best friend was 2 weeks ago. Can't believe you actually took the time to read my lame story lol. So at the moment, my self-esteem has significantly gone down, and after having given up on dating, I'm giving up on marriage as well. I don't think I'm cut out for it. Seeing all these older single people is encouraging, but I'm gonna be honest, it's a depressing thought. I'm not really happy with dying alone, but at the same time I don't want to get married and have a family. Edit - The reason I didn't even mention God in this was because, well, personally I don't think I can ask God for a partner and expect her to like me. After all the research I did, I know that I'm not an attractive guy (not just talking physically here). This is a strong opinion, and I actually do hope I'm wrong, but if a girl likes me there's probably something wrong with her that repels her from other guys. God can provide, yes, but I don't think it works like that. Unless you're looking at an arranged marriage like Issac from the OT, to which yes, technically a wife is being provided. I've heard testimonies of people praying for a wife, and coming across a beautiful church girl, who they court, take out on a date all that. I think God can definitely bring a woman into my life, but I would have to get her to like me, which is something I'm incapable of doing. I'm not very clear on this I guess, I still have questions. All I know is I've always been single, dating is too hard for me, marriage is even harder, therefore I don't think it's God's will for me to get into a relationship. I never really asked God for a girlfriend or a wife, but neither has my brother and he was successful. He had no waiting periods, and I'm more mature than my brother, even my parents think so, so why the wait? Howcome he doesn't have a job and is not even ready to live on his own but he has a girlfriend while I am still single? Sorry kind of ranting at this point. I just don't think relationships are given by God.
I don't think you should give up on your dream. A lot of people here seem to be romanticizing the single life but from my own experience being alone is one of the most difficult things for a human being to endure. There's a reason why your self esteem has gone down since giving up on dating. You were not created to be alone. Your life should include friendships, dating, and yes marriage too. I would advise you to keep trying and pray for a wife as often as possible since this is clearly something that you deeply care about. It may take years or even decades, but in the end you get to decide what you want out of life.
@@bluemaverick5641 Wow, I really appreciate you taking the time to read some random 22 year old's (now 23) long rant about his life. To give you an update, nothing's changed, but now I've taken a more neutral stance. I'm open to the idea of God giving me a wife, but I don't mind being alone. I'm good either way, the decision is up to God now. And yeah I hear ya, being alone must be really depressing and difficult. I guess I will make changes in my life and become a better man, then I won't feel so guilty about spending the rest of my life with a woman. And thanks again for reaching out
I got so caught up in preparing myself for a "mate", that I forgot to just let God prepare me for His coming in the future. We are the bride, and He wants a spotless one. Love God with all our hearts and seek first His kingdom and the rest will be added to us :) In His time, thank you Lord!
@@jenniferwalsh1731 Exactly our eyes must be set on Him. I'm still learning to lean onto God. Bearhunter, I hear you and somewhat I understand how you are feeling. I can only point to Christ because that's where our real satisfaction lies in. I used to quench my thirst in this world, only to be left with a sense of unrest. I would look up to my elder sister(3 years elder than me I'm 22) and I'd feel the same as you. Slowly it kind of turned into an underlying envy until God intervened my messy life. I'm still learning and the advice I can you is bring all your worries and trouble to Christ and ask Him to give desires of His. Watch how He works in your life.
This might sound stupid but it worked for me I really hope this helps and you change like I did. First things first dude I’m still single. But the difference is that I could’ve already had a couple of girls I feel like, I just didn’t want them because they seemed too easy to me. it sounds stupid but it worked. When I quit watching porn and masturbating I started feeling more confident, I could talk loud and say whatever was in my mind. I was never like that before. I actually got my first girlfriend 3 months into quitting. How do I know this was actually the game changer? Well, whenever I fall back into it, I go back to my old self. Quiet, soft voice, avoiding social interaction, and nervous around girls. Oh yea and stuttering sometimes too, not a lot tho just a bit. Not saying it’s going to work for you but it’s your best shot. Even when I had bad acne I still managed to get some girls interested somehow. Hope this helps :)
Wow this sounds so much like my own story. I have always struggled with making the hope of a relationship being an idol. I have come to see that God has held this thing back so I can grow in a lot of ways. Thanks for sharing, it’s really encouraging to know I’m not the only one in this boat
I feel like the culture pushes relationships down our throats. I've had seasons where I wanted relationships and seasons where I didn't. Recently, it has been a season where I want it and I don't know how to deal with that. My prayer is that God helps me not to think about it too much, but to just live in Him.
Sometimes people think it’s a sexual issue or a selfish desire. I want a family and to have kids. I have a sexual drive and I’ve understood that I desire intimacy. I’m not buying into the manipulative phrase “when God becomes enough” or “God is all you need”. We are all (mostly) programed to want a family. In my time of singleness and loneliness I’ve come to understand more about the situation. The love of the church has gone cold. The symptoms are manifesting as porn addictions, fornication and depression. Everyone has advice and wisdom to share, but nobody has love to spare. Truly, it is the end of days.
Bro I really liked that video, mainly cause I relate with the temptation of “marriage will solve everything!” mentality. Luckily, this specific temptation came up at a time where I was more closely connected with Christ as in me understanding Him (that’s not to say I haven’t struggled because trust me I have a lot and still do) and I felt the Holy Spirit point out to me that because I knew a bit about the subject already the temptation people may have where if they change their gender it’ll solve all their problems but it has the opposite affect and how that was the same if not very similar to the temptation I was having. Praise be to God!
Woooow! I feel like you just described my life (but for me from the perspective of a female). Really encourages me to see how the Lord protected you from getting into a relationship before the time was right🤗
I agree with everything you said. This was a very God-honoring take on singleness. It becomes harder as the years go by. At 23, God has given you the right heart and attitude. But at 29 ... 35 .... 40. The level of trust and endurance that is required to press on when the mounting pain of singleness threatens to crush you into despair ... it is exhausting and suffocating, in all honesty. That being said, God's grace is sufficient and He is still sovereign over our lives. But as the years go on ... unwanted singleness is like picking up a bloody cross and following Christ. Yet He did, after all, say that discipleship would be like that.
Yess but real honestly some people are single for so long is because they haven’t took action, God is always preparing you for the next season of life, it’s not that God wants you to be single, is that you haven’t put the action in preparing yourself and being open to when God brings that person because we make that excuse I’m waiting on God , no hunny you need step it up
@@melissacalderon1515 Hey :) I understand your point and would agree that situations most certainly exist wherein which a person has become stagnant in their growth, whether that be spiritually, physically, mentally, or emotionally. It is also certainly possible that fear and anxiety might cause a person to approach with hesitance the path the Lord is urging them to take, despite their desire for it. I agree completely that we must prepare ourselves for marriage and be ready when the Lord bestows that blessing. The best way to do this is to grow in the knowledge and grace of Christ. As we become more and more Christ-like through the (painful) process of sanctification, we will be able to love as Christ loved. Indeed, the Scriptures commands husbands to love their wives as "Christ loved the church." And what did Christ do for His church? What did He do for us? He died for us, sacrificed for us, and loved us. In doing so, we are given a picture of the kind of love that brings life and joy and blessings to a marriage. Sacrificial love, which is what Christ had for us, is the model that we must strive for. So in growing in sanctification and producing the fruits of the spirit, we are indeed becoming better Christians, but also better spouses. So yes ... I agree completely that we must always be growing and striving. There are other cases, however, where a person has desired, longed for, prayed earnestly for and sought after marriage and yet that blessing has not been given. Ultimately, the Lord is sovereign over our lives. We make our plans, but He directs our steps. And at times, His will can seem utterly confusing and devastating. I have seen "born again virgins," men who had raging pornography addictions, and men who regularly slept with prostitutes (before being saved) all be given the blessing of marriage ... all while in the same church, there are people who have fought for holiness, who have obeyed the Lord, who have strived to grow in grace, who have longed for and prayed for the blessing of a spouse, but who have remained painfully single for years and years. Indeed, some of the most spiritually mature Christians I know remain painfully single ... while some of the most immature, carnally-minded Christians I know have all married young and are enjoying the joys and blessings of marriage. I bring that up not to castigate or demean anyone, but rather merely to point out the apparent disconnect that exists between the assertion that the only reason a person remains single is because of their own faults and the reality that God can call certain people down difficult, afflicted paths, regardless of their preparedness for marriage. In my own situation, I have seen the hand of the Lord in my life, directing all things. Yes, He has directed me down a painful, lonely path. It is not one I would have chosen. If it was up to me, the woman I loved for years and asked to marry me would have never gotten terminal cancer. If it was up to me, I would be holding her in my arms right now as we fell asleep, not sitting alone in my room writing on a TH-cam comment section. None of this has gone as I would have planned. Nonetheless ... the Lord is still on His throne. And He rules ... not cancer, not wicked men, not fears, not fate, not my sorrow, and not my anger. God and God alone rules. So I must trust Him. As Job said, "though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him." Thank you for your comment, sister. Have a blessed night.
@@Arcanon10 your comment resonates with me so so much, particularly in regards to individuals who currently live, or have seemed to live their life with no regard for God, be blessed with marriage and a family. This is something that I’ve really struggled to understand. It almost seems a little unfair (yes I know, who am I to say God isn’t fair lol). It’s just something I can’t wrap my head around. I know God doesn’t owe any of us anything, but it’s frustrating at times.
@@Sunshine26762 Hey :) The tension you are addressing is not uncommon for us, as Christians. And indeed, believers in the Scriptures also struggled with the same issue. I think of both Psalm 37 and Psalm 73, which address the very issue of why the wicked seem to prosper and the righteous (God's elect) seem to suffer. In Psalm 73, the author goes so far as to even ask the question, "have I cleansed my heart in vain?" He is so discouraged with what he witnesses around him in the world, that he is tempted to wonder what benefit has come from his faithfulness. Psalm 73, of course, ends with the author realizing how wrong and foolish and prideful his opening statements were and how his only hope is in the Lord. Nonetheless, we are given these portions of Scripture as a comfort because ... yes, circumstances rarely seem "fair." Spurgeon wrote that when we observe the world, very often we will see "God’s sorrowing children have to drink of the bitter cup, while these proud ones are eating of the fat of the land." How true this is. Those who do not fear the Lord have their portion now. And we, by His providence, may have to walk a sorrowful path, in contrast. But ultimately, it will be far better for us. Nonetheless, though this truth offers comfort, it often does so inadequately; not because the truth is inadequate, but because we are unable to adequately apply it. We can understand the theological truth of it, but the immediate pain we are in is not necessarily abated. And even if it is, there is always tomorrow wherein which the loneliness, heartache, frustration, and sorrow will return as though the previous day's victory never happened. Always we must preach the truth to ourselves. I know at least for myself, truth is easily swept away by emotion. Spurgeon wrote that "pain is disfiguring." Indeed it is. You spoke the truth, however, when you said that we deserve nothing from the Lord. Truthfully, the only thing we deserve is judgement for our sin. Everything else is a gift of His grace. And this includes marriage. It is so easy to get discouraged, especially when you see people receiving blessings for which they have neither waited nor shed tears and blood. It all is given so easily. I have no answer for this other than to rest in the truth that God is on the throne and He alone rules. Why some of His children must walk sorrowful paths while others do not, I cannot say. As in all things, Christ is our example. When He was in the garden and praying, "not My will, but Yours be done," He did so through tears. We must do the same.
thank you for this, it definitely has been hard being in my senior year at a Christian college where it seems like every person is getting married or is in a relationship except for me. and I thought I was doing everything right like reading my Bible everyday and going to church every week, so it was hard for me to see why God hadn't given me anybody yet- like to the point where I almost settled for someone who didn't meet some of my standards (but thankfully I broke that off recently!) but I am continuing to seek contentment in Christ, which although it is hard sometimes, it is so much for satisfying than any relationship I could ever be in.
Am happy somebody has pointed out what singleness meant. I am in this season wherein I am learning more on the vastness of God's grace, mercy and love over my life. God is teaching me how to share these to the people around me. The great commission! Thank you for this!
This is a subject that I haven't really seen being addressed, yet, it's so relevant to what I'm going through. And I don't know why I've had this shame about desiring marriage but for me, it's like walking on a tightrope. I don't want to make marriage an idol and I want to accept being single if that's God's will. Yet, I don't want to forsake my heart's desire because I'm afraid of being disappointed. I'm 28 now, and never been in a relationship. The tendency of being single used to terrify me. But I can't overlook the good waiting so long has given me, especially when it comes to growing in my faith and overcoming lust.
Got this notification sitting right next to that Christian girl in my class I'm head over heels for. Better make me feel better about myself with this one! 😬 Edit: yep this video is definitely speaking to people like me…
0:55 I dont see it as something I deserve less of a right more of like a thing I should do. But I dont know if I should do it right now. 1:26 I mean right now I have to ask "why isnt *anything* happening for me?" because really nothing is happening. In any area. Im trying to find whatever open door God has for me but I just cant find it anywhere. I thought maybe dating was one of them, what if I cant find a job because I just need more time to look for the right person. I dont think thats the case anymore but if not that then what? What do I even do right now? 1:31 I feel like im ready. Generally... Maybe not as ready as I could be but when can you be 100% ready for these things? 2:04 yeah thats why I said not as ready as I could be, thats a kind of obvious one. Its not something I want to bring into a relationship so im taking care of it now. Its hard but im making progress. 3:07 nor do I expect it to. I mean I *half* expect it to. At the very least it should help right? 4:38 yeah fair enough. Looking for a date the past while was stupid, especially where I was looking. Thats become obvious to me now. I didnt even think to try to overcome this lust stuff until a few months ago, but im doing it. Couple bumps along the way but im doing it. 8:42 yeah that was one of the answers that hit me. I have this extra time so I can spend time in the word, right? Like thats and obvious one and ive been... well, ive made progress there too. 9:30 definitely love for Christ. I just want to know more. I really dont care about appearances. I mean I have sometimes attempted to bring up theology as a conversation topic that just *doesnt really work* but, hey, thats not the point is it? If im seen as a goofball nerd I want a wife who wants a goofball nerd. 12:27 I mean yeah im disappointed. Nothing is happening. I mean I understand on some level thats probably *my* fault. But it is just frustrating how empty it feels in terms of what im actually doing right now. I mean the word is filling, but, thats all. No activities. No ways to use my talents for God right now. None that I can see anyways.
Just dont get angry at God because nothing is happening in your life. Just keep praying and reading your Bible to get a stronger relationship with God . But im not sure what you mean by nothing is happening in your life Remember we also need to work for what we want, we cant expect God to do everything for us . God will help us yes but we also need to work for it.
This video is perfect! I can definitely relate to your story and your life at the moment! However, on my end, I did date and talk around for a while in my mid-teen years and up through 18,19,20, and it wasn't till my last break-up at 23 that I fully understood all this and why God has allowed and not allowed certain things. Like you, I grew up in a good Christian household and around marriages being presented as healthy and beautiful and I was excited to look forward to it at a young age. So much so that I made it a priority to have that someday, but it turned away my focus many times. With that being said I dealt with a lot of lust issues (pornography) all my teenage years and it has followed me up till now; this last year and this year I've been going through a healing process dealing with my heart issues and lust, and in some many different areas that I didn't know where being affected because of it. It's been hard, frustrating, and very difficult to say the least. But God has been so loving and so grateful that I am grateful that I've been able to witness his love on a whole new level. This is my story at least part of my story, that's still being written... to anyone out there struggling and battling you can do it but only through Jesus.. you cannot do it yourself. Let yourself be loved and healed, God has grace for you so have some grace for yourself. Thank you Issac for this video i know a lot of us guys can definitely relate!
I'm only 3 minutes and 41 seconds in and I can relate to this a whole lot. I was so busy watching other people in relationships and following their timeline I threw God's timing to the side. And though I've never been in a relationship that pressure and yearning still tries to come. But I've learned a lot these last past few years. God is teaching me to trust in Him and He will take care of the rest. Plus personally for I'm learning that relationships/marriages with significant others (joined and blessed by God of course) are great, but they're not completely a must and necessity. Now back to the video.
We often forget that being married it's not a commandment or a promised from God, marriage isn't for everyone and that's ok, yes he doesn't want us to be alone but when you're in fellowship with brothers and sisters you are not alone (plus God is always with you), but I do must say that for a women singleness can feel a little bit more burdensome because of the fact that "the clock it's ticking".
Fantastic video! I really needed this. It opened my eyes. I was idolizing the idea of having a girlfriend or wife too much that it was my main focus in becoming a godly man. God should be my motivation and goal. Thank you man. I needed this.
Thank you so much for tacking this issue. I fell the same way, there's just so much pressure nowadays on young people to find "the one". As a 21 year old who recently moved to a new country and is figuring out A LOT of things in life...this video is filled with so much wisdom and vulnerability...it's a breath of fresh air for me to know that am not the only one who struggles with surrendering my desire to be married someday and also wanting to live wholeheartedly for God. Thank you Isaac!
Dude everything you said I am in this right now. This is just not just a coincidence. This something I need to see and watch. I would like to talk to you if that is possible.
As a 27 year old, I've never had a real relationship. I always thought that school or work was an effective excuse/distraction. Now that I sit back and look at it, that just wasn't true. I am convinced that God has no plan for me in that regard. I dearly want to be someone's husband, want to provide for someone, and grow together. I think God wants me to be satisfied in singleness. The worst part, is that its not just that I can't see myself with someone in the future, I can't even imagine the future with me in it. I can't even visualize what I am in five years.
Reminds me of myself and my ex fiancé. Toxic. People wrestling deeply. Not enough victory over deep serious issues. And we differed on certain values. We were arguing a lot and I was terrified of what our marriage was gonna end up to be like. We both loved God, but it would not have best glorified God for us to bring each other into the mess we each needed to sort out individually. God still had some work to do on each of us before it would be helpful or good to be getting married. By God's grace and mercy the wedding was called off and we have basically not spoken since... This has been the hardest year of my life and there has been so much greif and pain and so much to work through and process. But God has met me in it and been incredibly kind to me and has grown me a lot even in just the last 8 months since the broken engagement. I know I am in the palm of His hand and He will never let me go. He will carry on to completion the work He began in me. I'm really glad to be single right now while God teaches and disciplines me and helps me heal.
Thanks for that,@Tyler Lee. I live in the Midwest. Yes, the U.S. Be encouraged, brother. Whether you're in a small town or a big city it can be easy to feel like there are no eligible prospects around. I know that can feel discouraging. And certainly there is a place for keeping your eyes open, putting yourself out there, making yourself available, etc. But even more than that it is crucial to patiently wait upon the Lord, to ask Him for what you desire, and to delight yourself in Him as HE fulfills the longings of your heart. There only needs to be one right woman who crosses your path and suddenly changes everything. There may not be tons of options right now right around you, but God could bring that right one into your life at any moment, and you have no way of controlling that. We are at the mercy of God's sovereign hand, but that is a beautiful thing because He knows what is good for us better than we know. The only thing we can do is submit ourselves fully to the Lord while we continue to keep our eyes open and make ourselves available... Firstly available for His work, whether that means serving Him as a single person with all the flexibility that includes, or serving Him as a spouse and a parent. Remember this too, many people will be single again someday even if they marry, because spouses die. It is good for us to learn, in our singleness, the sufficiency of the gospel. Nevertheless it is fine and good for us to eagerly long to portray the gospel through the picture and symbol of marriage if God would grant us that blessing for a season of our earthly lives. Either way, it is the gospel. And either way we are missing out on nothing, because we are already in on the BIGGEST thing: that is salvation in Jesus Christ our Lord! We eagerly wait for the wedding feast of the Lamb and for seeing Him face to face! I've been convicted this year about how I should treasure the Gospel above anything else, and that the Gospel should be my goal and prize. I love Philippians and how much Paul emphasizes the concept of considering everything else as loss because of the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus! My Savior is my Bridegroom. And far be it from me to forsake my first love! If I don't know how to be satisfied and delighted in Him, I won't be a good wife. If I am clambering for a mere man to be my protector, my hero, my love, and my companion, and if I am not first exuberant and overflowing with joy about my relationship with my Savior and God, then I will be to that mere man a clanging cymbal instead of a soothing balm. I want to be a helpful and excellent wife to a man someday, if God blesses me with that privilege. But more than that I want to be willing to sacrifice anything and everything for the sake of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, and making Him known. If God sees fit for me to do that through remaining unmarried until the day I die, I trust Him completely, and I won't be bothered one bit when I am standing face to face with the Bridegroom, the Passover Lamb, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. I expect that I will be married someday- I think it is quite probable. I don't mind when that will be- God knows the right time. Having that possibility in view, I want to work hard now to solidify spiritual disciplines in my life and grow in wisdom and self discipline and I'm delight in the Lord. Earthly romance is powerful: It presents both powerful opportunity and powerful danger. It has such potential to be so distracting. It has such potential either to produce good and bring increase, or to destroy and bring calamity. So now is the time for me to build diligently on the rock, not in the sand. And that starts with my affections. Where is my treasure? Where is my goal? Where is my desire? What prize do I long for? It is so easy to set my heart on too small a treasure and forsake the greatest treasure, and I believe that is a lesson God is teaching me in this season. I thought I would share some of my personal thoughts. I hope God encourages your heart as He has encouraged mine.
Thank you for your kindness,@Tyler Lee. Also, I genuinely appreciate your purposefulness and forwardness. I admire it and am thankful when I see men take initiative. So I commend you for that. I am thankful also to hear that you have been praying about these same types of things and that God is working in your life and giving you freedom from some of the issues of your past! Praise be to God! I hope much good comes from what God has brought you through. And I hope God blesses your efforts at faithfulness in even the smallest things! I am going to respectfully decline about the emailing. I have a lot of friendships in my church and community, plus long distance family and friends, who I need to prioritize and put energy toward and I honestly don't think it's wise for me to add on a pen pal at this time. I pray that God brings you the right woman when it's the right time though, Tyler. And, ideally that God would bring her geographically to you, in your city and in your community. It's wonderful to date in community with the support and checks and balances of godly people who know both parties and are involved in the lives of one or both. That would be my desire for myself if and when I meet a man to get to know and think about marrying. I hope that for you as well, and I ask God to do that for you if it is His will.
Love your stuff man! A side note, I also have the MV7 mic, and I would highly suggest you get the Shure SM7B pop filter and put it on this mic. It takes away all the popping that this MV7 pop filter gives you. Cheers!
I've had more success understanding women by reading after the godless PUAs. I think that's a black-eye on the modern church, because nothing I learned in church gave me the tools to effectively attract a woman.
Ok, somebody read my childhood diary...😊 Seriously, this video resonates my journey, living the single life. I'm 41, never been married, no kids and waiting on the Lord through obedience is the best thing I could ever do, and continue to do. I'm content. I'm blessed. Thank you Jesus 😊 💓
Wow amen, I admire your commitment to the Lord.
Wow amazing patience power of God indeed!
we are blessed to be called by Christ in and of itself. i agree!
42 and also never married. Reread 1 Corinthians 7 is the path to peace.
Im 46 ive never been married and dont have any kids. God bless us in our singleness
Ah yes. I understand this perfectly. Im 22 and most of my friends have couples and im single. Never had a couple. Theres a point were I got kind of pissed off and told God ''why them and not me''. But then I started examining myself and concluded that im not ready for that. Also, add some issues with lust into the formula. So I told God: You know what, Im done with trying to do the things my way. Im going to do it your way. Your time, not mine. Since then Ive felt less anxiety. Search Gods kingdom above all else, and everything else will be added to you.
Amen brother
I've been going through the same emotions. I'm 21. And I was dating this girl that I thought was going to be my future wife. But she needed up breaking us up 2 weeks ago because of my anxiety. Because of that, God opened my eyes that I'm not ready to marry. It drove me closer to God, taught me life changing lessons, and showed me my faults. I know God's timing perfect, he aloud the relationship not work because God kows I'm not ready. That whole scenario taught me to trust him more. Which is resulting with less anxiety.
I'm pushing 33, theres no hope.
True ❤
One HUGE mistake most Christians make is dating a girl who doesn’t have Christ in her heart (goes both ways). As much attractive she is and doesn’t believe in Christ or isn’t a Christian, walk away from it, it’ll only bring you far away from God.
Be patient, the Lord will make it happen in His time.
I agree 100% .
But unfortunately its always rare to find a Christian partner ,so its very difficult, sometimes impossible.
Also if you are a unattractive person it is even more difficult.
But God will certainly help us with it, if it is his will .
I made that very mistake but it didn’t last long because God was convicting me big time and I had to turn it away pretty fast.
The worst feeling was that it had already been a good 2 months by that time and I had been giving her signals that did not fully communicate my convictions, so when it ended she said she felt disrespected and lied to and that’s the very thing that is true. It is very disrespectful to get into a relationship with someone when you know it’ll only work if they become Christian. Absolutely terrible, have the learned the lesson the hard way, but unfortunately hurt someone I care about in the process. This is why the Bible says not to be unequally yoked. Nothing good comes from it. Don’t do it fellas!
This reminds me very much of Proverbs 31:30 I think it was. “Charm is deceitful; beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Punctuation I’m pretty confident is wrong because proverbs grammar is weird lol
Man you can't imagine how much this relates to me atm.
A couple of months back i started getting a huge crush on this woman that was my co worker. (And when i say huge crush i mean like a mega crush.) She has beautiful brown hair, a soothing voice just.. crushing. Anyway, in my heart i knew she didn't follow Christ. (Nit many people in my line of work do)
This mad me sad.
It took so much praying and focusing on Christ but in He numbed my feelings and then He took them away.
Later i found out the she was dating with another co worker of us bothwhile he was still in a relationship. She knew this and still decided to start a relationship with him.
This made me a little sad again and made me a bit angry. (Because deep down i had hoped she did follow Christ or atleast have a moral compas).
But then God made me realise that Christ had saved me of someone that not shared His morals and His ways. And that she would hurt me.
I am truly thankfull that He protected me. He always does.
And He will always keep doing so.
*Current situation:
As you could probably guess their relationship did not work out..
I didn't see her for a while untill recently.
I have to pray hard to not let me get any feelings for her again. But Jesus will guide and protect me. Even if it "hurts" He will have my back and my heart.
Je ne peux pas être plus d'accord avec toi plus que maintenant
The part about how singleness isn’t necessarily “preparation for marriage” is such facts. So good. I’ve never thought about it from the perspective of having it be the time for you to pursue what God has for you and his plan and how you can minister to others. Wow. Just wow. Thank you!
This statement has definitely given me a different perspective on my being single.
My frustration comes when I see immature people in relationships. Whether they’re Christians or not, I hate to see that people who lack emotional and mental maturity get into a somewhat chill relationship while I’m here developing myself to be better and not getting a chance. Yes, it could be a pride thing on my part that I’m comparing. But the frustration’s real, man.
Same here🥲
As a 30-year old single (never even had a boyfriend) this message is very helpful to me.
I have a lot of thoughts down below, but to sum them up: I've never been happier since I've accepted that what God has for me at each point in my life is the best for me. Busy cultivating friendships in church, especially through prayer and bible study groups and evangelism.
EDIT: I suggest every church creates and fosters prayer groups, and Bible study groups. There's no excuse of lack of time anymore since people can hold online meetings through Zoom and Google Meet. There cannot be spiritual growth in isolation.
If you're single and struggling, stop pitying yourself and complaining and get busy with God's work, knowing that the more you genuinely seek His will for you, the more He will reveal the path you should take and by trusting Him completely you will find the most amazing inexpressible joy ever! God's fountains never dry out, so your soul doesn't have to. This is my personal experience - that every new day, the Lord provides me with faith and blessings - and I've escaped negative emotions that could lead me to depression because of it.
Remember this: Either single, or married, we all have a longing for community which can be plenty satisfied by belonging to and serving a solid, healthy church already. Don't make hasty decisions about marriage thinking you won't have a family when you get old, for the Church is Christ's family. Oh! But the people in church can be so hard to deal with, sometimes! Ha, so would be your spouse and children that you want so bad, and they'd demand MUCH MORE from you than fellow church members xD
Lasty, it is every sincere Christian's mission to spread the gospel. Get involved in evangelism. No excuses. There is a lot of resources out there to equip you even if you're shy as I used to be.
From the bottom of my heart, I hope you find peace with God. He's better than any marriage will ever be. And we know what a marriage here on earth is supposed to point towards: the ultimate and eternal union between Jesus and His Church.
Me too. Never had a boyfriend at 47 yrs old. No Christ centered man came my way. I do have lots of sisters and my parents are super supportive. I have all my needs met but a man. I am glad you have peace. I am praying for this too. Jesus is coming. Take care
That's the key and it looks like you've found it - godliness with contentment is great gain 😊
I'm married but I have friends who aren't and one serves the Lord in ways I couldn't have, being married and having children and vice versa!
God chooses different people to work for Him in different situations!
@@rhyfelwrDuw ?
You available?
Amen me too sis 30 and single but also just enjoying were God has placed me
Thanks for this. I am still single after praying for years. I in my flesh think it is not fair. But then again, when Jesus was stretched out on the cross, that wasn't fair either.
Just out of curiosity, have you only prayed individually for a marriage? Or have you also brought it up to the Church through prayer groups or at least just your Pastor?
Isaac was in his forties when he married Rebecca. I hope this helps, though Idk your age.
Sometimes being single is better than being married, but it varies for every person.
@@marisda_ Yes
Some people are never meant to get married , just remember that god has a different plan for all of us 😊
As a 25 year old, I relate to this so much. I recently went through a bad breakup where we thought we'd get married but it just didn't work out. Been beating myself up for months because I was blamed for everything. God has been working on me little by little ever since
What helped you the most? I am in the exact same situation.
Also 25, also recently been through a nasty one that nearly led to marriage. Keep prayerful, there's plenty more fish in the sea. A great book is "Not Yet Married" by Marshall Segal. Drawing focus off all the hurt and instead drawing even more of my attention and focus back to God was the biggest part of the healing process for me, and finally I feel content in my singleness again (and therefore less clingy, and more attractive to a potential spouse)
@@Astendor I lost a girlfriend I fully intended on marrying after a 6 year relationship, when I was 22, right when I was about to finish college. I'm 32 now, and I still struggle on and off. Regret and longing and what not. Only reason I clicked this is because my birthday is coming up and that tends to be when I get that dread of being alone forever and think of what I lost and blahblahblah. Point is, what he says in the second half is what you should be doing. Things like, focusing on growing closer to God, taking joy in serving him regardless of circumstances, and using your past only to grow as a Godly man striving to become the man you were made to be. As for more practical tips I'd say fight like you've never fought before to avoid sexual content. Most importantly and obviously, porn, but also tv/movies, instagram, tiktok, reddit, or whatever you might use. These are filled with women looking their- often filtered- best, usually not being modest, and all it's gonna do is make you long for something you can't have. I use facebook but limit it to daily scrolls just for keeping up with the news and friends, but try to avoid doom scrolling just to avoid overconsuming everyone's life that always looks better on the internet than it actually is. I have way more success getting over my past hurts and current longings when I am present in the real world than when I am consumed with the digital world.
Hey, keep growing my friend I'm there with you
@@thebestSteven THANK YOU
In my 30's and single, and it's really been in the past year that I've let go of the dream of a family, not in a bad way, but in a very freeing way to be honest. Now I just give it into God's hands. If it happens, great; if it doesn't, I'm still so blessed and can appreciate the benefits of singleness, something that my married friends will attest to.
A while back I was at a busy restaurant waiting for my food, and it occurred to me, as time went by and I was getting more impatient, that I was only frustrated b/c I couldn't see what was happening back in the kitchen. If I was back there, I would see the kitchen staff working their butts off and realize they were in fact working towards getting my food ready. And I saw how that's true with God as well. I get frustrated b/c I think God's not moving, but that is MY problem, not His. God IS in fact at work, at all times, even when I sleep, and He has His own reasons for making my life the way it is, and I can trust that if I submit myself to Him, He will make something glorious out of it. So now I'm in a hurry to let go of worry (haha, didn't mean to rhyme) b/c I don't want to waste my time on it. Worry is just me being stupid, not trusting that God is who He says He is; that He is faithful, and good, and loving, and working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are the called according to His purposes.
Oh my, this was a huge encouragement to read this. To know God this personally is truly a blessing. Thank you for sharing ❤
Wow..he is speaking from the heart of the Father. Singleness is not just “preparation” for marriage. It is a state of being. You are whole as a single person. You are whole as a married person. Trust God 🙏🏽
I resonate with this completely. I went into Uni at 18 expecting to come out of it with a wife. I'm now 23 and only now stepping into freedom and manhood. I'm now far more prepared for marriage than I was then but tbh I don't mind waiting longer. I can see what God has brought me through and look forward to how much further he'll take me and grow me before giving me a relationship (if that's even the plan). I also have far better friendships now and have found real joy in being part of God's church as he builds it. I love my job and the joy of taking responsibility for my life. As I have my needs met through intimacy with God, true close friendships that he's given me, and the adventure of the task he has set before me, I realise that there is far more to life than what I once idolised as the only thing that mattered.
My husband and I just got married this year in January. I was 30 and he was 32. It was an answer to prayers and if I would've settled earlier it would have been bad. I thank God for my husband all the time. Keep praying and asking.
A lot of grief about singleness comes from unfounded fantasies about being in a relationship. While being in one is nice, there’s a good chance that what you’re imagining isn’t at all close to reality. You’re better off embracing the reality God has given you and not chasing “what could be” until God makes it a fact. Because chances are, “what could be” is only what YOU think could happen, not what actually could happen; none of us knows enough to predict how our desired reality will go or whether it’s good for us.
Well said!
Oh my gosh, I NEEDED to hear this. I have been struggling with lust and thought the only way I am going to overcome this sin was if I get into a relationship. Now that I know God better, I realized that patience is key and that I am not ready yet. I am still struggling with lust and I know God wants me to wait until I am able to overcome this sin through Jesus Christ. Thank you for this video, God bless🙏🏼
Fasting and prayer helps also praying until you fall asleep helps
Great video! It's so refreshing to hear someone who is ACUTALLY SINGLE talk about singleness. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!
The amount of times I was screaming “SAME!” in my head was innumerable. Thank you for your vulnerability. As of late, I’ve come to a similar conclusion. Overall, singleness is such a gift, but yeah there are times of sadness and longing.
Yes! My experience with (and observing those are me) singleness has made me realize that marriage can be great, but the desire of marriage and a family can become an idol if you aren't careful. The safest place for our dreams and desires is when they are surrendered into the hands of God. The pressure to 'find your person' and the false belief that marriage fulfills you will be lifted off your shoulders when you set it in his hands, for his timing. God has brought me into so many cool opportunities I could have missed if I was still so focused on how I wasn't married. Thanks for sharing!
YES!! I was in a relationship from 18-20 and convinced it would be my “turn” next. It took me a while to deal with that loss while also surrendering the fact that tons of my friends were marrying (including my little sister!). Now I’m nearing 23 and feeling so grateful for my current ministry and job and community. At that time I had so much mess in my life and God gave me space and time that I didn’t want, to deal with it😂 THANK YOU for this encouragement that singleness is not punishment, but that sometimes it’s needed for us to prepare *more* for either marriage OR single work and ministry (because those are just the context for our genuine purpose of serving the Lord through the Spirit)!
I'm 31 and went through a 5 year long distance relationship and got to caught up in the fantasy; like "finally i have someone to love. its going to be great~" but it just didn't work out in reality. Also some advice; 1. don't ever expect love by itself can do everything because the truth is it can only do so much. It's like relying on a tightrope instead of a bridge. 2. and this especially goes to couples who are opposites - MARRIAGE DOESN'T CHANGE WHO YOU ARE! it doesn't FIX things. it seals the deal but not the problems! don't ever think "oh if I get married things will get better!" nope doesn't work that way. I was lucky to realize this early and almost married the wrong woman and both of us would have been so miserable.
As a young Christian man with no prospects, I can't really express how much I've needed to hear this from another young single man. Pretty much every sermon I've ever heard that's directed towards single Christians is "Just be patient and God will make it happen eventually." That is clearly not always what happens. Also, it makes marriage sound like something that rightfully belongs to a Christian, and in my mind, it sounds like a form of taking something for granted. I'm praying that God will help me to grow closer to Him and stay faithful to Him regardless of my relationship status.
If I never get married, I know full well that I will constantly bout with disappointment and loneliness, and I will always have that hanging over my head. But even with that, I want to follow God and make a difference in His name for His Kingdom. I sincerely hope he'll provide me a wife (and soon, haha 😅), but even if not, I acknowledge that is not sufficient reason to give God anything less than my life and my best.
Honestly, I think churches should have groups for single young men and single young women, so they can simply enjoy each other's fellowship and talk about God and grow spiritually together. Not everything has to have both genders together. And having them separated for specific groups could even help with focusing on God, rather than opposite-sex members of the group.
@@rayrayb06 My honest guess is simply that no one chooses to organize it. Currently because of my work contract, my choice of churches in the area is limited.
The one I'm part of doesn't have a lot of family unity (sadly). After God moves me elsewhere, I will seriously consider trying to organize such a group in a local church.
Also, I think a bunch of guys constantly hanging out together and discussing the Bible, encouraging one another, and enjoying each other's fellowship will be much harder targets for temptation in general.
@@tungstwn1241you have fun with that. I dont trust churches and I certainly don't trust a bunch of guys who are better looking, are God's favorites and are always lucky in everything trying to lecture me on how I should feel. They got a wife early on and im pushing 33 with no hope. Sick of this crap life and everyone else always getting what they want and I get screwed over.
You know what i like about this video? Is that you cam still relate to this stuff be ause you are not married yet.
Thank you. I definitely go through periods of time where I don't understand why I see so many 18 and 19 year olds getting married and I'm 28 and single. It's a struggle not to be jealous since I have desire to be in a meaningful relationship but I have to trust God. He has the best timing.
Dude I feel you. Same boat. Gonna send a prayer up for you!
Y’all not alone 😂 28 and single. Trusting God ❤️🔥🙏🏻
Yeah I feel that
Been feeling the same boat, some people I know by that young age have a kid already, and here just waiting on God
Remember also you may not be called to marriage at all
Never heard of you, don't know what else you've posted, but this video is EXACTLY what Christians need. I wish I heard this when I was 18, 22, and 26. (I'm 26.) We need more voices like yours! Subscribed
As an 18 years old girl I really needed it, I'm exactly going through what you are describing, thank you for this message 😊
I'm too damn dumb to see any blessing in being alone at 54. No amount of worship or study or Scripture can pull me out of this hating being alive, and praying I don't live much longer. I wouldn't wish this hell on anyone.
Wonderful video! Goes to show that a lot of us Christians view marriage as a way to be fulfilled, when it's actually a way to compliment each other. I too used to have these marriage fantasies and such a few years ago, but I think one thing that was my reality check is that couples- even Christian ones- have problems and issues as well. There is no perfect marriage, and having experienced these unresolved issues within a couple firsthand made me take a step back and reflect that I'm truly not ready or mature enough to handle these issues with another person. Sure, I still want to marry my dream guy and I'm sure God will fulfill that desire in His perfect times, but right now my singleness is a great time to reflect on just how immature I am still, and how I still need to work on my relationship with Jesus. Thanks for the great insight Isaac, God bless!!
I really liked what you said about being careful what we allow ourselves to watch. It’s easy to say, “oh yeah, I’m a strong Christian; I can handle this.” I feel so convicted. I’m not watching anything inappropriate, but I can become lazy and say oh, it’s just a show. But it can't really affect the heart.
Totally agree with this. God is preparing you (and your future spouse) in this season of singleness. And definitely worth working on major struggles so you’re a whole person, confident in your God-given identity before you embark on a relationship.
Also heard someone say marriage is to make you holy, not happy. Definitely believe God uses our relationship with our spouse to draw us closer to Him (and in that, closer to each other).
And yes! God makes us wait for our heart’s desire to cause us to turn to Him for joy and to be complete in Him but wow, it’s soooo hard waiting. My husband and I struggled with years of infertility but now we have three (almost four) miracle babies. I learned so very much and grew so much deeper in my relationship with God in that season of waiting. And I’ve seen the miraculous hand of God in our life (because doctors said we had less than 1% chance of having just one baby, let alone four)!
Anyway, take away is keep your eyes on Jesus. Draw close to Him and He will draw close to you. I do believe He gives us these desires (so long as they align with His will) but don’t let that desire stagnate you in the meantime - keep pursuing the faith and your purpose.
This is something I have been battling mentally. Wondering why I’m still single and 28 years old. Seeing all of my friends married and with children, even my sister has a boyfriend 😭 but I have honesty seen God’s faithfulness in my singleness. I have honestly debated lately weather or not I even want to get married anymore lol because I won’t have as much time for Jesus as when being single 😭😭 I struggle with this thought. I want God to take my time, not a relationship with someone else 😭 God willing, God will have to point him out like crazy! Even then, it will be hard to get me to marry someone now hahah
A friend of mine is a christian girl who comes from an abusive family and she run away from them and wanted to get married and create her own family because she had no one in her life and was scared of being alone and struggling to make ends meet. she settled for a non christian cuz she couldn't find a christian. But she's happy with him and he respects her believes and let's her practice her faith.
Maybe adjust your perspective, why do you think you won’t have time for God while married? You and your husband can join couples groups at your church and then also individual groups for men and women and still grow your faith. You can take mission trips together or separate through your church or other Christ based ministries. My church has all of those things available and although I’m going to church alone I’m still excited to participate and continue my pursuit to learn God’s heart. And you know what’s really cool about that? You not only get to have a routine that allows you time to get to know Jesus and socialize with your brothers and/or sisters in Christ but when your husband comes along and is pursuing you, inviting him to your church groups and philanthropy will be the perfect courting activity (as well as help him branch out and strengthen his faith by associating with a God fearing woman like you!). It’s not all bad, I want to be a wife and mother but making friends in my church groups and recreational hobbies makes my life so fulfilled and enriched in the meantime and I cannot wait to share that with my future husband and our children, God willing.
Just fill your time, you’ll be able to connect with Christ and enjoy your time with your husband if you choose to. You can’t make him join you, but if he’s for you then he’ll see how beautiful, admirable, and irreplaceable your dedication to God and donation of your time really is.
Many blessings sister and good luck. Happy new year! 💗
@@inlovingfavor this was so sweet and encouraging! Thank you so much! I’m happy to say that I’m in a relationship a year after posting this 😂💀 girl and we’re gonna be married soon. I guess life changes a lot in a year.
@@itsdeborahhill WHAT CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Look at God won’t he do it! I so love that for you girl I love love 😭💗💍
Hello! I read something in a book, and it has stuck with me ever since: "Marriage is not the top priority in life, nor is romantic or sexual love. Marriage is a precious gift, and intimacy in marriage is a beautiful expression of God's project, but Scripture calls us to seasons when even sexual practice must cease in order for spouses to recalibrate their prayer life and redefine their highest priority of communion with God."
We don't need the blessing any more than we need the one who can give us the blessing! In the end, only He matters.
We are not commanded to cease. Careful on the wording.
Thank you so much, Isaac. ❤
I am 23 too, a single christian, and really needed to hear this. God has blessed me through your ministry.
Hey man, I found your channel when I was a freshman in high school (and I'm a junior now), and you are such a role model for young Christian people. It's good to know that there are still Godly people out there.
This video is so helpful because I've recently been struggling with self-worth issues (I had a crush on this really Godly guy at my church, and I told my best friend (who is also at our church), and she started dating him after they went on a mission's trip), and it really felt like God was punishing me and rewarding her for hurting me. Seeing them all the time at youth really hurts, because it's extremely hard to not feel horrible because everyone's dating someone right now and sometimes it feels like no one will want to marry me or will be interested in me at all.
It's still really hard, but I know that my relationship with God is the most important thing in my life, and it will always be, but this season of singleness is a blessing because I can work on my relationship with God and growing myself as a woman of God.
Thanks once again for your awesome videos!
This video is so good! I love that you talked about how many people don’t talk about singleness as something other than preparation for marriage. Our main goal is to keep our eyes in Christ, even when it’s difficult ❤️
You spoke every thought I have on my mind in regards to singleness. Everything you said is exactly what I feel. I've said it before: their is a purpose behind being single. Through my singleness, I have come to realize that God is everything. My family, my friends, my joy, my job, relationships are nothing if I don't have God. You have to give yourself to God and let him take care of the rest.
God spoke directly to me TONIGHT about this very reality! How can I expect to be where He wants me and in a relationship if I'm not where He wants me to begin with? He is SO GOOD and knows exactly what I need WHEN I need it! Praise the Lord!
You are very young, you are just starting! I understand the struggle. I am 27 and never have been in a relationship. I encountered several opportunities and then had to say no to all of them for I couldn't start an unequal yoke relationship. Singleness has a beauty to it as well as some kind of gloominess to it... but I know that marriage would change it either. Ups and downs in both cases. It's very very true we must focus on glorifying God. You are just starting this ministry... may God lead you always and remove yourself from distractions, when the right person arrives you will be mature and ready, so keep it up. You are not alone in your singleness! It sometimes might feel odd, but it's better than unnecessary heartbreaks!
Yeah everyone around me at small groups are getting married or are engaged. It can be really discouraging. But it’s better to get into the right relationship that God has for you than to rush God’s timing and get into the wrong one.
That is so cool :) Psalm 16:11 is my go to life verse especially when I struggle with discontent because it reminds me tha my joy is God Himself!
Thanks for sharing this. This resonates with me so much! There were a few times in my walk with God that I succumbed to this self pity because of my singleness (it always seems to happen when I have a crush in my life) And similarly, it is being discontented with the life that God has given to me. Thank God who allows me to grieve and is the one gives the strength to go through these times! God is really patient with me haha
This is the best video yet for me personally like every single word HIT me 😭🙏 it made everything so much clearer
Very well said Isaac! I’m in a similar season and, at times, it can be very difficult to be honest about this deep desire in ourselves. Learning to prioritize to know the Lord, love Him, and delight in Him brings a deeper joy I’ve often hear about and want to genuinely experience. I believe that times like these, it is a blessing and an encouragement to be single so that we can focus on the Lord more. Still learning how to be content with singleness is definitely not easy, but understanding what God is doing in my life is very encouraging.
Very blessed by what you do and I’ll be praying for you and your ministry!
Wow this was painfully insightful. God has given you so much wisdom. For real. I've spent most of my 10 years of marriage being bitter and disappointed because it's been practically nothing but let down after let down. After I waited for marriage to have sex and it wasn't even worth it. And then I go to church and see all these Godly couples and I just want what they have so bad. But the things you said in this video make a lot of sense.. even though I'm starting to cry even as I write this. Thank you for this video.
True. I am the person you described from A to Z. I've struggled with lust also and would spend days fantasizing my wedding day and how it'll go and what would happen but I realised that life is not black and white and that it's either I give my fantasies away for the grace of God and leave everything to Him.
Thank God for sending you to for further opening my eyes❤
I always go back to Paul, who was, as we can see, canonically single. His life was passionate, unhindered, and sold out for Jesus. I regularly think of how my occupation, ministry, and life as a whole would shift immensely, and require great pruning. If God brings someone, great! I will rejoice then, but shall also rejoice in the now, the day that the Lord hath made. God is immensely good, and His timing (and withholding) is perfect.
Beautifully said
so true
Great video Isaac! As an 18 year old, I relate to you so much in this video and it’s really reinforced my goal to continue growing closer to God. God bless you man🙏
Great timing on this video! God 100% put this in my recommended, been thinking lots about singleness and dating recently. Great to hear other christians talking about it and providing Godly wisdom.
This was posted right when i needed it. Thank you, Isaac, and thank you Lord.
Single Christians are being taught how to manage their singleness, not move beyond it, if that's what they want. It's unfair to assume because someone is single that they're not ready, or there is something lacking in their relationship with God and he needs to "teach them something". It could be poor choices, bad attitude or not looking in the right place. Sometimes there is a practical solution, not more hyper-spiritual busywork.
I really enjoyed this topic. I became a Christian 3years ago and almost instantly wanted to be married, wanted to have a baby. I'm definitely thankful, and realize looking back I needed to work on some things and keep my eyes on him.
Dude this is literally so insightful. Thank you so much man for posting this.
Amen, it’s always deeper than we think. God knows why he has us waiting so until that time we should focus on God and our kingdom assignments!
From personal experience, yes, if you don’t work on these things before getting into a relationship or marriage, it wreaks havoc. No one will enter marriage perfect, but coming in with the least amount of baggage as possible is the way to go.
It's not even about marriage and sex. I am a life long virgin who has never dated, never done anything with anyone in anyway. Never even kissed. It would just be nice to simply go out on a date and yes, feel all those fluttery feelings when I'm with the guy I'm attracted to. There doesn't have to be any sex involved or going back to his house. The experience would be nice.
wait girls like you exist? interesting, i always thought girls had experience no matter what they might say. I guess it depends on different things, like culture
,@@bearhunter321 There are so many Christian women with no experience same as men. Not too hard to believe
@@Leah-Raquell I don't think so. They must have at least some experience, it depends on culture. If it's a culture that is all about arranged marriages then yeah I would expect women like that, even non-Christian women would have little to no experience in such a culture
Hello perfectionista, I want to encourage you that your feelings are ok and there is nothing wrong with you. Yes for some reasons I can't figure out most single Christians seem to believe that they can't have any contact with members of the opposite gender. I would love to have a woman as a friend who I could spend time with in a purely nonsexual way. To go out and do things with and not having to worry about what do I do now? My gosh and then you get derogatory comments from others saying they didn't know women like you existed. I don't suppose you live anywhere around the east coast?
@@Anthony-yy3kc How's my question derogatory? If anything it shows I lack knowledge of society.
Thank you for these videos. SOmething I've realized in my life is ANY amount of justification leads down the dangerous path of living with and accepting your sin and living with it. There were many times where I couldn't even say I was struggling with my sin, but merely accepting it as a part of my life. I knew it was sin. I knew it was wrong, but I'd say it was a reward after I completed something difficult or I'd have some other justification. Any other attitude other than stopping it here and now is dangerous and shows you're not truly ready to stop it. Take sin seriously, even if "it's not hurting anyone". Sin is wrong regardless. Avoid any and all lewd images/videos, etc. that you can. What you view does effect you whether you realize it or not. No one is saying it's easy, but sin is wrong regardless.
Love you ministry, God is using you. Continue doing what you do!
My analogy for this type of thing is Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars. There's all these things he wants "Right now". He wants to be strong enough to save everyone. He thinks he deserves to be a master and feels insulted when the council tells him he is not ready. Emperor Palpatine makes Anakin believe that he can get everything he wants and control the future. His concern for Padme and his vision of her death that became selfish, because he couldn't just be patient, and trust that everything would be okay. In the end, he was the one to make his nightmares come true, because he wanted to be in control. And he ended up being the cause of her death.
Obviously, having an unhealthy relationship won't likely end in murder, but the point I'm trying to make is that you shouldn't jump the gun and try to force things to go your way. If you listen to God, and trust Jesus and have faith, eventually good things will happen. But if you let the devil seduce you into being afraid or thinking you have to be in control of everything or even that you're better than those who are trying to tell you the truth, you might end up getting the opposite of what you wanted. Don't get so obsessed with your desires that you will resort to doing wrong things to get what you want. The thing you want might be just around the corner and if you get scared and veer off the path, you will end up missing what was waiting for you.
Wandering eyes. That's something I've known I struggle with but I see a foreshadowing currently. Well said. Thank you.
You discribed the exactly the same thoughts that I was struggling with.. Thank you for this video, it helped me a lot!
45 and single. Enjoyed this video. Lots of fun and love how you deliver with a lot of humor. One thing I'll say, I'm not so sure Paul's gift of singleness is really as commonly interpreted. I used to think of it like you do. But I'm coming around to the idea that whatever situation we're in is a gift from God, including unwillful singleness. I try to view my situation as a gift, from above, no matter what. And to never waste its season.
Issac, your videos are so good. It is so true we need to find ourselves in Christ first before we can get into any relationship. And the statement of God withholding something from you not to be mean but for us to learn something or lean into Him more has been my time right now trying to be a worship pastor/leader. Great video as always.
Oh man you are right on track!
I grasped much of this before getting married all thanks to what God had done in my heart. However, even after getting married I went through deep conviction over how I approached my prayer life before marriage. I would spend so much time praying about my future husband and asking God to just bring him into my life. God convicted me that my focus during singleness was my future husband and not really God. I realized I wasted my singleness. I wasted time with God. God was kind enough to still prepare me for marriage and bring a good Godly man into my life but I experienced grief over what I had lost. To those that are single, your singleness is so much more than you realize.
@@tylerlee277 so glad it encouraged you! Yes, God has blessed our marriage tremendously. It gets better every year as we continue to submit ourselves to the Lord. My biggest suggestion is remember that God is there before your spouse, during your marriage, and after it ends. He’s the prize, the goal. A marriage isn’t definitely not the most fulfilling thing there is, God’s love is and when someone grasps that they’re actually ready to be married.
@@tylerlee277 we do! A little girl about to turn 2. She’s the best thing ever so I highly recommend having children as well!
I actually found a Christian girl on Twitter back in February who looks so much my type and she's so passionate in her faith too. I felt like God guided me to her.
In regards to what you said about lust, I stopped looking at explicit images when I found her. Haven't looked at anything like that since. Unfortunately, I fell into temptation at some point in July for several mornings after waking up I think, at which point I asked for prayer and advice and the temptations went away quickly after that. God is so faithful. I've not had a problem since then which I'm thankful for.
Also over the summer, I feel my faith has grown stronger and I'm well aware I should be putting Christ first. The past few weeks, my priorities have shifted and I've been putting entertainment and other unimportant things aside and I'm more focused on more important things like my faith. Still working on it though.
I'm really hoping the girl I found is the one for me. I haven't really talked to her unfortunately but something interesting has happened. After complimenting her art a few weeks ago, her dad started following me! My friends think he's just protecting her, but I was thinking he's wondering if I'm interested in her, or maybe no reason related to her which seems unlikely to me.
Be carefull who you meet online, they dont always seem to be the person they show
@@MrTahref I’m well aware, but this girl has herself on every mainstream social media platform and her family too. Her dad’s a pastor and church planter and they all look especially dedicated in their faith. She values Christian modesty too.
@@Lukandon Ok, i cant judge, i dont even know her. When you ever get to meet and date her make sure you take your sweet time to know her really well. God bless
I feel invested in this. What happened? Did you meet her?
@@mygodismighty No. I got my hopes up too much. I don't want to get into all the details but basically I had started DMing her 2 Octobers ago, but she soon said she's not the type anymore to chat online. I still follow her on X, and I saw recently she posted she prefers to get to know someone in person, which makes sense. I completely understand. Unfortunately, I'm not able to meet her because I live far away from her in another country (UK vs US). I actually want to move to the US, so me stumbling on her and the fact that she ticks so many boxes on things I want in a wife just felt like fate to me.
Before that post she also said the only exception would be if a guy interested in her had about the same social media presence as her, because she made the point that she has so much of herself on social media (photos and videos) and that it's not difficult to get a sense of what she's like from that, and so she finds it unfair that most of the guys who tried to chat with her have little to no online presence.
I felt indirectly called out, lol.
But yeah, if I get the opportunity to travel there, I'll probably go over to her church service to meet her. It's not looking likely though, and I hate the UK. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to leave. I keep praying that I'll be able to travel there, but nothing yet. It's a little frustrating at times because I want someone in my life to care about who's consistent (my friends aren't always available), but I have to remain patient.
whether or not im "ready" for a relationship isnt the problem imo. I could be as "ready" as having millions of dollars saved, a huge house, and be perfectly in tune with my emotions, but Modern Women will still find a fault to hyperfixate on and let THAT be their reasoning for why im undeserving of love/affection.
Thats why i put so much of my own time and effort into learning how to be content in loneliness. The odds of me ending up alone are shockingly high, and if i were to put time and effort into "bettering myself" only for that investment to never pay off, that would be a MAJOR issue for me.
Instead, its simply easier and less dramatic for me to surrender my expectations of ever having love/affection and instead of working toward that goal, i just accept my position of loneliness and live my life the best that i can
This video is very encouraging. It is true that relationships should never be an idol. It used to be one for me (still trying to eliminate it) and I’ve been with some non Christian girls. It led to nothing but disappointment, shame, anger and sadness. It does not satisfy nor bring joy in the long run. I’ve noticed I’ve found more peace when I turn to the lord instead of turning to women for pinnacle fulfillment. Do not go into a relationship just based on someone’s looks. Looks change, but conviction does not. Use singleness to build your character and getting closer to God. Gradually I’ve noticed that I’m becoming less and less swayed with singleness. Use it as a weapon. You have more time. Do not envy sinners. God bless
Your videos are so relatable and such blessings. Greetings from the Dominican Republic! God bless you.
Hello Issac thank you for sharing with us. I've been a Christian for 3 years now and I'm going through this process right now. Thanks for the advice. God bless you.
As a 27 year old single woman, I advocate to my disciple the great power in intentional singleness. While there are absolutely struggles that none of my friends have ever known, I experience versatility, ministry, and admissibility that I would likely not as a married woman. Are there difficult days? Of course. Does God grow me in my contentment daily? Without a doubt.
Don't worry brother, I'm going to be 54, and God never gave me a spouse, I'm living proof God says no to desires.
So true, there is reason for the season that you are in. It is for our best and His glory!!
There are surprisingly a lot of older single people here in the comments (I'm 22). This is probably the one area of my life that takes up 95% of my thoughts, so this will be a long one.
From a young age I used to look forward to dating and marriage a lot, especially dating. My older brother (he's 24 now) had quite a "successful" dating life, he started at the age of 12 and he's currently dating a girl whom he brought to Christ for the past 5 years or so. He hasn't proposed yet however.
Growing up I was always a quiet boy, I never talked much, never cried much. I've always been preoccupied with my own mind. I never got bored of being alone and not talking to anyone, cuz I could just rewatch TV/movies/anime in my mind, maybe change the story a little, imagine being a character in it. Even today I spend way too much time daydreaming, especially since 2020. I've also never been to a party after I turned 16.
Whenever we met people at church or at someone's house it was my brother that did all the talking, I only laughed and nodded occasionally. My parents never really taught me any social skills, so I always had a hard time making friends.
I did have crushes and all that, but I wasn't confident enough to ask them out until highschool, where I got rejected, twice. Yeah, ouch. I realized I knew nothing absolutely nothing about women and then I began researching. I read books, blogs, talked to lots of people, watched hours of seminars, youtube videos & online courses, and even observed women's behavior in real life.
I went to college, thinking this is my moment. I did my best to implement what I learned, I got good at talking to people, I made lots of friends, and I even got a girl interested in me. I was very excited, but for some reason she got bored of me I think and a few months later I find out she's dating another guy, for how long idk. But I didn't give up, I tried hanging out with other girls, making new friends, taking part in different events, I even hosted a part of the fresher's program hoping the junior girls might be interested. But nothing was really working out. Soon, I found myself hanging out with 1 friend who's currently my bestfriend and I was starting to give up on dating.
And then a little something came out of China in 2020, perfect timing. Though I actually enjoyed the alone time.
A couple months ago I started my post grad, and I don't talk to anyone in class except the lecturer. It's funny cuz of all the students, I talk the most to the prof, but then I don't say a word to anyone else. I sit alone, eat lunch alone, play single player video games alone, etc. I never call people or receive calls unless it's related to work. I don't even text people these days, last time I texted my best friend was 2 weeks ago.
Can't believe you actually took the time to read my lame story lol. So at the moment, my self-esteem has significantly gone down, and after having given up on dating, I'm giving up on marriage as well. I don't think I'm cut out for it. Seeing all these older single people is encouraging, but I'm gonna be honest, it's a depressing thought. I'm not really happy with dying alone, but at the same time I don't want to get married and have a family.
Edit - The reason I didn't even mention God in this was because, well, personally I don't think I can ask God for a partner and expect her to like me. After all the research I did, I know that I'm not an attractive guy (not just talking physically here). This is a strong opinion, and I actually do hope I'm wrong, but if a girl likes me there's probably something wrong with her that repels her from other guys. God can provide, yes, but I don't think it works like that. Unless you're looking at an arranged marriage like Issac from the OT, to which yes, technically a wife is being provided.
I've heard testimonies of people praying for a wife, and coming across a beautiful church girl, who they court, take out on a date all that. I think God can definitely bring a woman into my life, but I would have to get her to like me, which is something I'm incapable of doing. I'm not very clear on this I guess, I still have questions. All I know is I've always been single, dating is too hard for me, marriage is even harder, therefore I don't think it's God's will for me to get into a relationship. I never really asked God for a girlfriend or a wife, but neither has my brother and he was successful. He had no waiting periods, and I'm more mature than my brother, even my parents think so, so why the wait? Howcome he doesn't have a job and is not even ready to live on his own but he has a girlfriend while I am still single? Sorry kind of ranting at this point. I just don't think relationships are given by God.
I don't think you should give up on your dream. A lot of people here seem to be romanticizing the single life but from my own experience being alone is one of the most difficult things for a human being to endure. There's a reason why your self esteem has gone down since giving up on dating. You were not created to be alone. Your life should include friendships, dating, and yes marriage too. I would advise you to keep trying and pray for a wife as often as possible since this is clearly something that you deeply care about. It may take years or even decades, but in the end you get to decide what you want out of life.
@@bluemaverick5641 Wow, I really appreciate you taking the time to read some random 22 year old's (now 23) long rant about his life. To give you an update, nothing's changed, but now I've taken a more neutral stance. I'm open to the idea of God giving me a wife, but I don't mind being alone. I'm good either way, the decision is up to God now.
And yeah I hear ya, being alone must be really depressing and difficult. I guess I will make changes in my life and become a better man, then I won't feel so guilty about spending the rest of my life with a woman. And thanks again for reaching out
I got so caught up in preparing myself for a "mate", that I forgot to just let God prepare me for His coming in the future. We are the bride, and He wants a spotless one. Love God with all our hearts and seek first His kingdom and the rest will be added to us :) In His time, thank you Lord!
@@jenniferwalsh1731 Exactly our eyes must be set on Him. I'm still learning to lean onto God.
Bearhunter, I hear you and somewhat I understand how you are feeling. I can only point to Christ because that's where our real satisfaction lies in. I used to quench my thirst in this world, only to be left with a sense of unrest. I would look up to my elder sister(3 years elder than me I'm 22) and I'd feel the same as you. Slowly it kind of turned into an underlying envy until God intervened my messy life.
I'm still learning and the advice I can you is bring all your worries and trouble to Christ and ask Him to give desires of His. Watch how He works in your life.
This might sound stupid but it worked for me I really hope this helps and you change like I did.
First things first dude I’m still single. But the difference is that I could’ve already had a couple of girls I feel like, I just didn’t want them because they seemed too easy to me.
it sounds stupid but it worked. When I quit watching porn and masturbating I started feeling more confident, I could talk loud and say whatever was in my mind. I was never like that before.
I actually got my first girlfriend 3 months into quitting.
How do I know this was actually the game changer? Well, whenever I fall back into it, I go back to my old self. Quiet, soft voice, avoiding social interaction, and nervous around girls. Oh yea and stuttering sometimes too, not a lot tho just a bit.
Not saying it’s going to work for you but it’s your best shot. Even when I had bad acne I still managed to get some girls interested somehow.
Hope this helps :)
Wow this sounds so much like my own story. I have always struggled with making the hope of a relationship being an idol. I have come to see that God has held this thing back so I can grow in a lot of ways. Thanks for sharing, it’s really encouraging to know I’m not the only one in this boat
I feel like the culture pushes relationships down our throats. I've had seasons where I wanted relationships and seasons where I didn't. Recently, it has been a season where I want it and I don't know how to deal with that. My prayer is that God helps me not to think about it too much, but to just live in Him.
Amen! ❤️ God is and should be our delight ✨
You figured it out early. I just turned 40 and am just now realizing everything you're saying. Feel blessed that you found wisdom in youth.
I'm 32 and single. I guess I'm not ready according to this video. Thanks to my autism. I'm never ready and always fall behind ever since I was born.
Sometimes people think it’s a sexual issue or a selfish desire. I want a family and to have kids. I have a sexual drive and I’ve understood that I desire intimacy. I’m not buying into the manipulative phrase “when God becomes enough” or “God is all you need”. We are all (mostly) programed to want a family. In my time of singleness and loneliness I’ve come to understand more about the situation. The love of the church has gone cold. The symptoms are manifesting as porn addictions, fornication and depression. Everyone has advice and wisdom to share, but nobody has love to spare. Truly, it is the end of days.
Bro I really liked that video, mainly cause I relate with the temptation of “marriage will solve everything!” mentality. Luckily, this specific temptation came up at a time where I was more closely connected with Christ as in me understanding Him (that’s not to say I haven’t struggled because trust me I have a lot and still do) and I felt the Holy Spirit point out to me that because I knew a bit about the subject already the temptation people may have where if they change their gender it’ll solve all their problems but it has the opposite affect and how that was the same if not very similar to the temptation I was having. Praise be to God!
Woooow! I feel like you just described my life (but for me from the perspective of a female). Really encourages me to see how the Lord protected you from getting into a relationship before the time was right🤗
Really needed to hear this, the timing is perfect.
It's so good to hear a Christian guy talk about this stuff with conviction
I agree with everything you said. This was a very God-honoring take on singleness. It becomes harder as the years go by. At 23, God has given you the right heart and attitude. But at 29 ... 35 .... 40. The level of trust and endurance that is required to press on when the mounting pain of singleness threatens to crush you into despair ... it is exhausting and suffocating, in all honesty. That being said, God's grace is sufficient and He is still sovereign over our lives. But as the years go on ... unwanted singleness is like picking up a bloody cross and following Christ. Yet He did, after all, say that discipleship would be like that.
Yess but real honestly some people are single for so long is because they haven’t took action, God is always preparing you for the next season of life, it’s not that God wants you to be single, is that you haven’t put the action in preparing yourself and being open to when God brings that person because we make that excuse I’m waiting on God , no hunny you need step it up
@@melissacalderon1515 Hey :) I understand your point and would agree that situations most certainly exist wherein which a person has become stagnant in their growth, whether that be spiritually, physically, mentally, or emotionally. It is also certainly possible that fear and anxiety might cause a person to approach with hesitance the path the Lord is urging them to take, despite their desire for it.
I agree completely that we must prepare ourselves for marriage and be ready when the Lord bestows that blessing. The best way to do this is to grow in the knowledge and grace of Christ. As we become more and more Christ-like through the (painful) process of sanctification, we will be able to love as Christ loved. Indeed, the Scriptures commands husbands to love their wives as "Christ loved the church." And what did Christ do for His church? What did He do for us? He died for us, sacrificed for us, and loved us. In doing so, we are given a picture of the kind of love that brings life and joy and blessings to a marriage. Sacrificial love, which is what Christ had for us, is the model that we must strive for. So in growing in sanctification and producing the fruits of the spirit, we are indeed becoming better Christians, but also better spouses. So yes ... I agree completely that we must always be growing and striving.
There are other cases, however, where a person has desired, longed for, prayed earnestly for and sought after marriage and yet that blessing has not been given. Ultimately, the Lord is sovereign over our lives. We make our plans, but He directs our steps. And at times, His will can seem utterly confusing and devastating. I have seen "born again virgins," men who had raging pornography addictions, and men who regularly slept with prostitutes (before being saved) all be given the blessing of marriage ... all while in the same church, there are people who have fought for holiness, who have obeyed the Lord, who have strived to grow in grace, who have longed for and prayed for the blessing of a spouse, but who have remained painfully single for years and years. Indeed, some of the most spiritually mature Christians I know remain painfully single ... while some of the most immature, carnally-minded Christians I know have all married young and are enjoying the joys and blessings of marriage.
I bring that up not to castigate or demean anyone, but rather merely to point out the apparent disconnect that exists between the assertion that the only reason a person remains single is because of their own faults and the reality that God can call certain people down difficult, afflicted paths, regardless of their preparedness for marriage.
In my own situation, I have seen the hand of the Lord in my life, directing all things. Yes, He has directed me down a painful, lonely path. It is not one I would have chosen. If it was up to me, the woman I loved for years and asked to marry me would have never gotten terminal cancer. If it was up to me, I would be holding her in my arms right now as we fell asleep, not sitting alone in my room writing on a TH-cam comment section. None of this has gone as I would have planned. Nonetheless ... the Lord is still on His throne. And He rules ... not cancer, not wicked men, not fears, not fate, not my sorrow, and not my anger. God and God alone rules. So I must trust Him. As Job said, "though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him."
Thank you for your comment, sister. Have a blessed night.
@@Arcanon10 your comment resonates with me so so much, particularly in regards to individuals who currently live, or have seemed to live their life with no regard for God, be blessed with marriage and a family. This is something that I’ve really struggled to understand. It almost seems a little unfair (yes I know, who am I to say God isn’t fair lol). It’s just something I can’t wrap my head around.
I know God doesn’t owe any of us anything, but it’s frustrating at times.
@@Sunshine26762 Hey :) The tension you are addressing is not uncommon for us, as Christians. And indeed, believers in the Scriptures also struggled with the same issue. I think of both Psalm 37 and Psalm 73, which address the very issue of why the wicked seem to prosper and the righteous (God's elect) seem to suffer. In Psalm 73, the author goes so far as to even ask the question, "have I cleansed my heart in vain?" He is so discouraged with what he witnesses around him in the world, that he is tempted to wonder what benefit has come from his faithfulness.
Psalm 73, of course, ends with the author realizing how wrong and foolish and prideful his opening statements were and how his only hope is in the Lord. Nonetheless, we are given these portions of Scripture as a comfort because ... yes, circumstances rarely seem "fair." Spurgeon wrote that when we observe the world, very often we will see "God’s sorrowing children have to drink of the bitter cup, while these proud ones are eating of the fat of the land." How true this is. Those who do not fear the Lord have their portion now. And we, by His providence, may have to walk a sorrowful path, in contrast. But ultimately, it will be far better for us.
Nonetheless, though this truth offers comfort, it often does so inadequately; not because the truth is inadequate, but because we are unable to adequately apply it. We can understand the theological truth of it, but the immediate pain we are in is not necessarily abated. And even if it is, there is always tomorrow wherein which the loneliness, heartache, frustration, and sorrow will return as though the previous day's victory never happened. Always we must preach the truth to ourselves. I know at least for myself, truth is easily swept away by emotion. Spurgeon wrote that "pain is disfiguring." Indeed it is.
You spoke the truth, however, when you said that we deserve nothing from the Lord. Truthfully, the only thing we deserve is judgement for our sin. Everything else is a gift of His grace. And this includes marriage. It is so easy to get discouraged, especially when you see people receiving blessings for which they have neither waited nor shed tears and blood. It all is given so easily. I have no answer for this other than to rest in the truth that God is on the throne and He alone rules. Why some of His children must walk sorrowful paths while others do not, I cannot say.
As in all things, Christ is our example. When He was in the garden and praying, "not My will, but Yours be done," He did so through tears. We must do the same.
Wow.. this is EXACTLY what I went through before I was married
thank you for this, it definitely has been hard being in my senior year at a Christian college where it seems like every person is getting married or is in a relationship except for me. and I thought I was doing everything right like reading my Bible everyday and going to church every week, so it was hard for me to see why God hadn't given me anybody yet- like to the point where I almost settled for someone who didn't meet some of my standards (but thankfully I broke that off recently!) but I am continuing to seek contentment in Christ, which although it is hard sometimes, it is so much for satisfying than any relationship I could ever be in.
Am happy somebody has pointed out what singleness meant. I am in this season wherein I am learning more on the vastness of God's grace, mercy and love over my life. God is teaching me how to share these to the people around me. The great commission!
Thank you for this!
I’m about halfway through this video and just thank you. I related so much to it and God used it to encourage me.
This is a subject that I haven't really seen being addressed, yet, it's so relevant to what I'm going through. And I don't know why I've had this shame about desiring marriage but for me, it's like walking on a tightrope. I don't want to make marriage an idol and I want to accept being single if that's God's will. Yet, I don't want to forsake my heart's desire because I'm afraid of being disappointed. I'm 28 now, and never been in a relationship. The tendency of being single used to terrify me. But I can't overlook the good waiting so long has given me, especially when it comes to growing in my faith and overcoming lust.
Got this notification sitting right next to that Christian girl in my class I'm head over heels for. Better make me feel better about myself with this one! 😬
Edit: yep this video is definitely speaking to people like me…
0:55 I dont see it as something I deserve less of a right more of like a thing I should do. But I dont know if I should do it right now.
1:26 I mean right now I have to ask "why isnt *anything* happening for me?" because really nothing is happening. In any area. Im trying to find whatever open door God has for me but I just cant find it anywhere. I thought maybe dating was one of them, what if I cant find a job because I just need more time to look for the right person. I dont think thats the case anymore but if not that then what? What do I even do right now?
1:31 I feel like im ready. Generally... Maybe not as ready as I could be but when can you be 100% ready for these things?
2:04 yeah thats why I said not as ready as I could be, thats a kind of obvious one. Its not something I want to bring into a relationship so im taking care of it now. Its hard but im making progress.
3:07 nor do I expect it to. I mean I *half* expect it to. At the very least it should help right?
4:38 yeah fair enough. Looking for a date the past while was stupid, especially where I was looking. Thats become obvious to me now. I didnt even think to try to overcome this lust stuff until a few months ago, but im doing it. Couple bumps along the way but im doing it.
8:42 yeah that was one of the answers that hit me. I have this extra time so I can spend time in the word, right? Like thats and obvious one and ive been... well, ive made progress there too.
9:30 definitely love for Christ. I just want to know more. I really dont care about appearances. I mean I have sometimes attempted to bring up theology as a conversation topic that just *doesnt really work* but, hey, thats not the point is it? If im seen as a goofball nerd I want a wife who wants a goofball nerd.
12:27 I mean yeah im disappointed. Nothing is happening. I mean I understand on some level thats probably *my* fault. But it is just frustrating how empty it feels in terms of what im actually doing right now. I mean the word is filling, but, thats all. No activities. No ways to use my talents for God right now. None that I can see anyways.
Just dont get angry at God because nothing is happening in your life.
Just keep praying and reading your Bible to get a stronger relationship with God .
But im not sure what you mean by nothing is happening in your life
Remember we also need to work for what we want, we cant expect God to do everything for us .
God will help us yes but we also need to work for it.
Yup. Very unsure of what to do with myself all the time, lacking a sense of direction in a lot of areas
This video is perfect! I can definitely relate to your story and your life at the moment! However, on my end, I did date and talk around for a while in my mid-teen years and up through 18,19,20, and it wasn't till my last break-up at 23 that I fully understood all this and why God has allowed and not allowed certain things. Like you, I grew up in a good Christian household and around marriages being presented as healthy and beautiful and I was excited to look forward to it at a young age. So much so that I made it a priority to have that someday, but it turned away my focus many times. With that being said I dealt with a lot of lust issues (pornography) all my teenage years and it has followed me up till now; this last year and this year I've been going through a healing process dealing with my heart issues and lust, and in some many different areas that I didn't know where being affected because of it. It's been hard, frustrating, and very difficult to say the least. But God has been so loving and so grateful that I am grateful that I've been able to witness his love on a whole new level. This is my story at least part of my story, that's still being written... to anyone out there struggling and battling you can do it but only through Jesus.. you cannot do it yourself. Let yourself be loved and healed, God has grace for you so have some grace for yourself. Thank you Issac for this video i know a lot of us guys can definitely relate!
I'm only 3 minutes and 41 seconds in and I can relate to this a whole lot. I was so busy watching other people in relationships and following their timeline I threw God's timing to the side. And though I've never been in a relationship that pressure and yearning still tries to come. But I've learned a lot these last past few years. God is teaching me to trust in Him and He will take care of the rest. Plus personally for I'm learning that relationships/marriages with significant others (joined and blessed by God of course) are great, but they're not completely a must and necessity. Now back to the video.
Amen
We often forget that being married it's not a commandment or a promised from God, marriage isn't for everyone and that's ok, yes he doesn't want us to be alone but when you're in fellowship with
brothers and sisters you are not alone (plus God is always with you), but I do must say that for a women singleness can feel a little bit more burdensome because of the fact that "the clock it's ticking".
Fantastic video! I really needed this. It opened my eyes.
I was idolizing the idea of having a girlfriend or wife too much that it was my main focus in becoming a godly man. God should be my motivation and goal. Thank you man. I needed this.
I resonate with this well. I'm also 23 and still single. But I choose to keep my eyes on Christ and not on myself, only then do I feel peace.
Thank you so much for tacking this issue. I fell the same way, there's just so much pressure nowadays on young people to find "the one". As a 21 year old who recently moved to a new country and is figuring out A LOT of things in life...this video is filled with so much wisdom and vulnerability...it's a breath of fresh air for me to know that am not the only one who struggles with surrendering my desire to be married someday and also wanting to live wholeheartedly for God. Thank you Isaac!
Dude everything you said I am in this right now. This is just not just a coincidence. This something I need to see and watch. I would like to talk to you if that is possible.
That’s a fantastic point! Singleness is not only to prepare for marriage. Thank you for sharing this message! It was really encouraging.
As a 27 year old, I've never had a real relationship. I always thought that school or work was an effective excuse/distraction. Now that I sit back and look at it, that just wasn't true. I am convinced that God has no plan for me in that regard. I dearly want to be someone's husband, want to provide for someone, and grow together. I think God wants me to be satisfied in singleness. The worst part, is that its not just that I can't see myself with someone in the future, I can't even imagine the future with me in it. I can't even visualize what I am in five years.
Reminds me of myself and my ex fiancé. Toxic. People wrestling deeply. Not enough victory over deep serious issues. And we differed on certain values. We were arguing a lot and I was terrified of what our marriage was gonna end up to be like. We both loved God, but it would not have best glorified God for us to bring each other into the mess we each needed to sort out individually. God still had some work to do on each of us before it would be helpful or good to be getting married.
By God's grace and mercy the wedding was called off and we have basically not spoken since... This has been the hardest year of my life and there has been so much greif and pain and so much to work through and process. But God has met me in it and been incredibly kind to me and has grown me a lot even in just the last 8 months since the broken engagement. I know I am in the palm of His hand and He will never let me go. He will carry on to completion the work He began in me. I'm really glad to be single right now while God teaches and disciplines me and helps me heal.
Thanks for that,@Tyler Lee.
I live in the Midwest. Yes, the U.S.
Be encouraged, brother. Whether you're in a small town or a big city it can be easy to feel like there are no eligible prospects around. I know that can feel discouraging. And certainly there is a place for keeping your eyes open, putting yourself out there, making yourself available, etc. But even more than that it is crucial to patiently wait upon the Lord, to ask Him for what you desire, and to delight yourself in Him as HE fulfills the longings of your heart. There only needs to be one right woman who crosses your path and suddenly changes everything. There may not be tons of options right now right around you, but God could bring that right one into your life at any moment, and you have no way of controlling that. We are at the mercy of God's sovereign hand, but that is a beautiful thing because He knows what is good for us better than we know. The only thing we can do is submit ourselves fully to the Lord while we continue to keep our eyes open and make ourselves available...
Firstly available for His work, whether that means serving Him as a single person with all the flexibility that includes, or serving Him as a spouse and a parent. Remember this too, many people will be single again someday even if they marry, because spouses die. It is good for us to learn, in our singleness, the sufficiency of the gospel. Nevertheless it is fine and good for us to eagerly long to portray the gospel through the picture and symbol of marriage if God would grant us that blessing for a season of our earthly lives. Either way, it is the gospel. And either way we are missing out on nothing, because we are already in on the BIGGEST thing: that is salvation in Jesus Christ our Lord! We eagerly wait for the wedding feast of the Lamb and for seeing Him face to face!
I've been convicted this year about how I should treasure the Gospel above anything else, and that the Gospel should be my goal and prize. I love Philippians and how much Paul emphasizes the concept of considering everything else as loss because of the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus!
My Savior is my Bridegroom. And far be it from me to forsake my first love! If I don't know how to be satisfied and delighted in Him, I won't be a good wife. If I am clambering for a mere man to be my protector, my hero, my love, and my companion, and if I am not first exuberant and overflowing with joy about my relationship with my Savior and God, then I will be to that mere man a clanging cymbal instead of a soothing balm. I want to be a helpful and excellent wife to a man someday, if God blesses me with that privilege. But more than that I want to be willing to sacrifice anything and everything for the sake of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, and making Him known. If God sees fit for me to do that through remaining unmarried until the day I die, I trust Him completely, and I won't be bothered one bit when I am standing face to face with the Bridegroom, the Passover Lamb, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords.
I expect that I will be married someday- I think it is quite probable. I don't mind when that will be- God knows the right time. Having that possibility in view, I want to work hard now to solidify spiritual disciplines in my life and grow in wisdom and self discipline and I'm delight in the Lord. Earthly romance is powerful: It presents both powerful opportunity and powerful danger. It has such potential to be so distracting. It has such potential either to produce good and bring increase, or to destroy and bring calamity. So now is the time for me to build diligently on the rock, not in the sand. And that starts with my affections. Where is my treasure? Where is my goal? Where is my desire? What prize do I long for?
It is so easy to set my heart on too small a treasure and forsake the greatest treasure, and I believe that is a lesson God is teaching me in this season.
I thought I would share some of my personal thoughts. I hope God encourages your heart as He has encouraged mine.
Thank you for your kindness,@Tyler Lee.
Also, I genuinely appreciate your purposefulness and forwardness. I admire it and am thankful when I see men take initiative. So I commend you for that. I am thankful also to hear that you have been praying about these same types of things and that God is working in your life and giving you freedom from some of the issues of your past! Praise be to God! I hope much good comes from what God has brought you through. And I hope God blesses your efforts at faithfulness in even the smallest things!
I am going to respectfully decline about the emailing. I have a lot of friendships in my church and community, plus long distance family and friends, who I need to prioritize and put energy toward and I honestly don't think it's wise for me to add on a pen pal at this time.
I pray that God brings you the right woman when it's the right time though, Tyler. And, ideally that God would bring her geographically to you, in your city and in your community. It's wonderful to date in community with the support and checks and balances of godly people who know both parties and are involved in the lives of one or both. That would be my desire for myself if and when I meet a man to get to know and think about marrying. I hope that for you as well, and I ask God to do that for you if it is His will.
Love your stuff man! A side note, I also have the MV7 mic, and I would highly suggest you get the Shure SM7B pop filter and put it on this mic. It takes away all the popping that this MV7 pop filter gives you. Cheers!
I've had more success understanding women by reading after the godless PUAs. I think that's a black-eye on the modern church, because nothing I learned in church gave me the tools to effectively attract a woman.