sometimes it happens that just as you are pouring the tea and the sugar cubes are already in the cup.. they say... oh but I don't want to have to deal with sugary tea. but by then it is to late.
@@aikkhimtan9171 It’s a safe idea to let your partner decide, but you also have the right to be vocal about your own preferences and boundaries. Ideally, when engaging in sex, you should talk with your partner beforehand to ensure that both of you feel comfortable during the act. Then you both contribute to the preparation and enjoyment of the “tea”.
If someone doesn't know what tea is, or is too young to drink tea, it would be inappropriate to even offer them a cup of tea, much less force it on them. In fact, you also shouldn't allow them to see you drinking tea--whether you're drinking it alone or sharing.
+Fals3Agent That is true, but it's not really necessary to bring up. Regardless of how anyone is dressed, or where they are, you still have to ask them the question: Do you want tea? Then the video takes it from there. The only thing it doesn't really cover is inebriation.
This video could also include that even if this person has had lots of tea with lots of other people they can still say NO to tea with you. Casual tea drinking with other people does not mean they want tea with you.
So, if a couple have sex with each other hundreds of times without ever getting what Feminists define as "verbal consent", should they both be arrested & imprisoned? If so, hundreds of millions of both men & women would have to be incarcerated
Also important to add: don't convince them to have tea. If they said no to having tea multiple times and only said yes because you kept bugging them.. that's still a no to tea. Don't force the tea on them.
I mean as long as you don’t force them to want tea, it’s fine. You sure can convince them to drink tea by saying yeah it’s good, you’ll like it etc but you never force them saying you have to drink it.
In general, if a person is not able to stand on their feet or is old enough to hold their cup properly and know what tea tastes like and the temperature it will have, do not even offer them tea because they cannot consent. They can burn themselves or break the cup.
bonneyMhasfuckedme I think you are no position to disallow tea for drunk people. If the person is so stupid that they cant control their tea cravings while being drunk then that person should avoid being drunk at all, IF THE PERSON IS NOT happy with their tea cravings while drunk that is.
I'm not disallowing tea for anybody, it's an advice, even if everyone is content with the result it's still potentially dangerous for everyone involved. I'm not saying is bad having tea cravings, I'm not saying is bad having tea while drunk, but if you or the other person is SO drunk that they won't even remember having tea, then you (or the other person) should let the tea for other time. It's not that hard to understand. You are not stupid, you are drunk (which is similar anyway) and everybody has been drunker than expected at some point, it happens, so it's being a good person not giving tea to someone who is so drunk that could go jump off a cliff because it's funny.
jarzez " If the person is so stupid that they cant control their tea cravings while being drunk then that person should avoid being drunk at all," Unfortunately, that's not gonna be the case in California much longer (or already?), If I have the new consent law right in my mind. Basically, the scenario in 1:53 where 'you make the tea, your friend drinks the tea, and they pass out'? well, your friend can wake up, call the cops and sue you for making tea they wanted, even if you just took the tea to the sink and put your friend in bed. Because drunk people can't say yes to tea. Which is why I'm so mixed up with the law to begin with.
+bonneyMhasfuckedme There is a strong chance that if they passed out in the middle of drinking tea, they were drunk. If they are drunk they should NOT have tea. They could vomit the tea onto you, then you have a legal case and that vomit could be a permanent stain on your record. (Sex offender registration). So it is best not to give tea to a drunk person.
The Man not at all, but it seems there is people who, I can't understand why, isn't capable to tell a person who is drunk from a person who is nearly unconscious. It's sad and the world would be a better place if people had a little common sense, but that doesn't seem to be the case...
Last year in eighth grade they showed us this video and they were worried we would be like "LAME" but no we were actually talking about a lot like "woah that was really educational I actually get this wowie" so A++ for teaching even the douchiest boys that consent is everything, you get a gold star
+TheSwamper Heck yeah! You made that you can drink it if you want to! You could sip the tea and make it last cuz you like tea, or you can slam the tea to make it go away. If the tea is for you it's up to you
+TheSwamper For best effect, you should have tea with someone you want tea with, in front of the tea-refuser. You might even get them to leave, as an added bonus.
Depends what the second cup is. Some people might not want a camomile, but if they think that they can get a cup of earl grey, if they accept the chamomile, because the earl grey feels that it can only be paired with the camomile to compliment the pallet, then someone who could never stomach camomile might drink camomile, only to get some earl grey. Moral of the story, I want some earl grey.
ALSO, if someone says yes to drinking tea and then decides midway through drinking the tea that they don’t want tea anymore or asks to stop drinking the tea, don’t make them finish the tea. Put the tea down immediately. DONT force them to finish the tea. DONT try to convince them to finish the tea. DONT guilt them into finishing the tea just because they started drinking it. The where, what, when, how and why they DONT want tea is not your business and should be respected at all times!!!!
I wish they made a version that talked about consent for any physical contact (hugs, kisses, etc.) that could be shown to even younger kids. If a friend says "I don't want a hug" or "I don't want to wrestle" then...don't do it. It's the beginning of learning to respect other people. Teach that respect and consent stuff from Preschool and keep on adding to it as they grow.
Sadly, some people really don't get it. My brother keeps staring and stalking at a girl even though she clearly told him to stop, and no matter how I told (or maybe, yelled and screamed at) him how wrong that is, how terrifying she must've been, how "consent" is key, how I would slice and dice any offender that dares hurt me or my loved ones... NOTHING WORKS. He keeps babbling about like "WHY would she be scared~ I'm showing her love and affection~ Wouldn't she be so thankful" I'm SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED. I would so lock him up to prevent him from hurting anyone else if I had the right... By the way, he's 20, not 5, 20! It's like he received absolute 0 sex-ed or has 0 empathy. Now I'm just searching through any related videos or articles to teach him, and hoping that this one works! I thought that in 2018 we would be more progressive, or at least have some human decency, sadly many are still retarded, and that terrifies me.
The whole thing is hilarious. When I watched it the first time I didn't hear the sex being mentioned at the beginning, it made the whole ending a whole lot more profound. (you can literally explain how not to be pushy in general with this video. For instance, if you are an overzealous host, and we are actually talking about tea)
Eyal Plotkin I also didnt hear the word sex in the beginning (I assmued it would be about being a missionary ;-) ) So, I also think the video would be better if you dont name the topic in the beginning!
"well maybe they wanted tea but in the time it took to boil the kettle brew the tea and add the milk they are now unconcious" will never not be hilarious to me.
This video is amazing. Its been years since Ive been watching it. Each time I get a new layer of it. And now I see consent goes much further than just sex.
This needs to be said to parents as well. Because telling your kids to come hug you or give you a kiss need to learn that their children need to learn affirmative consent as well. They need to learn how to consent with us first because we are supposed to be safe for them. This is something I learned later in life by someone that came into our life and pointed it out to me. She was right. Still is.
This is exactly the case with my younger sister. She always barges into my room and gives me hugs (which more often than not, suffocates me both physically and mentally) Some of the time I’m fine with it (as long as there is something like a blanket between us), other times I tell her no and ask her to leave me alone, she gets more and more insistent and I just give up trying to resist. But on days where I really just want to be left alone, I tell her “Please leave me alone”, but she doesn’t listen! She just keeps insisting that “nobody wants to be left alone” / “the more you ask me to leave the more I will try to stay cause I love you that much” and tries to breach more of my personal space, it’s really frustrating. Something I just pry her off me and bee line to the bathroom where I can lock the door. I tried explaining boundaries to her but she just treats it like it’s a joke. I tried bringing this up to my mom but she brushes it off and ignores it as she believes that it is how family who love each other should act like. Sometimes my mom even berates me for not accepting my sisters “love”. I hope this video can help her understand why I don’t want hugs a bit better
I know this is supposed to follow on a serious topic But I laughed way more than I should have Imagine just chillin wakin up to find tea doused on you and some dude just starin at you like "Drink the tea"
Pure brilliance. Clear as day. Only thing it doesn't address is people who could care less about what anyone else wants to drink cause they're super focused on how thirsty they are.
Nailed it. Best video I've seen so far. I really like that you addressed, very clearly, that consent can be given and yet a person can change their mind! Ground breaking I know. I also appreciate the gender neutral aspect. Well done.
Addendum for the video; when drinking tea - - If someone offers you tea and you don't really want it, but say yes anyway and drink the tea then don't blame the person offering. How were they to know? - If you want tea, and you have the tea, but later realise it was a bad decision, learn to live with it. Don't blame whoever offered you the tea. - If two or more of you get really drunk and decide to share loads of tea, even though you wouldn't if sober, then the fault does not lie only with the person who owns the kettle. - There is a big difference between persuading someone to try your tea, and forcing them. Threats, blackmail (emotional or otherwise) and intimidation are forcing and not acceptable. - No-one owes you tea. Not everyone with a kettle wants tea all the time or with everyone they meet. Consent, it's about communication and it goes both ways.
+Subatomic Aggressions Agree mostly... except for a few changes.. Like your things are true but the tea maker can be a bit more critical. -If someone looks really weird while drinking the tea. Talk about it. Maybe they feel bad about asking for tea and now don't want to say no. But you don't want anyone drinking your tea when they don't really want to right? -If someone decides to have tea and regrets it later it's not your fault but you wish you stopped them. You try to remember what the signals are for next time. -This one is true. People who try to turn this into rape annoy me. -True! But there is a fine line between persuading and forcing someone. Try to put the best interest of the other person before your sexual needs. -YES. I get where you are coming from but I have experience with people who technically did nothing wrong but I just felt that they didn't give a shit about my feelings and needs. They just wanted to fuck me. Doesn't matter if I'd regret it, if it would make me feel like shit. And then try to hide behind excuses like this. (I have to add that I did say no and pushed away multiple times and at one point I did walk away). Maybe it is not rape but it still makes you a shitty person. And this is not always the case. You just have to stay critical of yourself and not be like "I didn't rape her so I did nothing wrong".
+Subatomic Aggressions Rewatch the section about the person passing out. The key is communication. If the person drinking your tea is cringing with every sips. Offer to make them a coffee, and netflix. Your tea isn't good, or they changed their mind. Accept this.
+Julia Nymwhen While I appreciate people bringing some nuance into this and thinking it through, I kind of start to have doubt whether or not the analogy of having tea is really all that great. It isn't all that simple, after all, is it? I guess we have to "thank" puritanism for this. If people were able to openly talk about sex the same way we talk about whether we want tea or not, this all could be a lot easier. But all the piercing shame and guilt associated with sex, especially "premarital sex" that is drilled into many people's heads from early childhood on contributes largely to things becoming a lot more complicated than they need to be. And that sucks.
Something I read said "Consent is really too low a bar - hold out for enthusiasm." Sometimes someone might say yes when they don't really mean it and if you are not an idiot you might realise this from their mood/actions/expression etc.
Vicki Sullivan If you're setting the bar that high, there's a whole lot of rape happening. Especially inside marriages. I don't want to blame the victim but people have to learn to say no instead of expecting others to read minds.
So many people are confused about tea regretting tea the next day. This is where communication and knowing if a person is drunk is important. Usually people who regret drinking the tea are drunk and can't make decisions for them, but they may not be so drunk they've passed out yet. In this case, you don't give them tea. One thing about drunk people is they may throw up. If you give them tea, they may throw up on you. In that case, you may get a stain on you that may never come off (sex offender registry). It is better to just NOT give that drunk person tea. Also, be 100% certain with communication. Don't pressure someone into tea. They may say they want tea, but really they just want you to leave them alone. In that case, they may feel pressure to drink the tea you made them, but they really just want to go to their room. They didn't change their mind the next morning, sometimes they felt like they had their mind made up for them. Finally, just because someone drank tea with someone else doesn't mean they want your tea. You are not in the friend zone, they just may like Green Tea and you only have Earl Tea. It's okay, someone out there loves Earl Tea and I'm sure you two will be happy together.
+martyc909 And if two drunk people decide to drink tea? And how do you determine drunk - its a continuum, where symptoms can differ from intoxication. Do people making tea need a course in blood alcohol analytic, behavioural psychology, physical tests to determine intoxication? Is it a zero alcohol rule for both, for one, ... If not how much alcohol is too much? Who has the burden of proof if parties disagree later? Which party has the responsibility on communication. The sender or the recipient. Are both parties involved in the discussion and both responsible for success or failure in the communication or is it the tea maker as the active part over the drinker. And how does this relate to sex? Who is maker and recipient. Are both parties equally involved or does one dominate the other?
***** The line of drunk is grey. Which is why I tell my male students to not let their actions be left for interpretation by others. In other words, if it's questionable, don't leave it up to someone else to define your actions for you. Also, in most cases, drunk is if a REASONABLE person can tell if that person is drunk. If they threw up, if they can't stand, if they lost control of their reason, many things. If it's reasonable that they are drunk, then you can't do anything to them. So I tell the guys, don't let someone else dictate your intentions, especially if you are drunk. Because it's the "initiator" who is the responsible person in these cases. The one who initiated sex is the one who will be charged. And most of the times, that's the guy. So even when both parties are drunk, it's the one who is the initiator that is responsible. And it's like drunk driving, just because your drunk, that's not an excuse to harming someone.
+martyc909 I like the drunk driving example. In my country we have a clear scientific rule for drunk driving. If the alcohol concentration in your blood exceeds a previously fixed amount you are not fit for driving - this does not take into account a persons personal alcohol tolerance. -- Accountability for a crime however is different. I knew a PhD that previously worked on a scientific approach to measure alcohol tolerance with the goal to predict accountability. While one person maybe lethally intoxicated another could act "normal". So we have one example where the state of unfit is clearly described and may even predicted "e.g. one glass of wine will keep my blood concentration below the limit", while the second example becomes unclear. I am not talking about persons showing clear signs of an alcohol intoxication (e.g. vomiting), but one cocktail, bottle of wine, ... Initiate sex. I have no idea when it starts. Kissing, unbuttoning, ... You will have two people telling a story. Do you need written statements, blood samples, a video documentation, should you get third parties involved that testify both parties are fit to consent and consented. Is non-verbal communication included - a nod to the question for tea/sex a yes / consent? Communication is prone to errors and even between two (sober) adults we have misapprehension. the be 100% certain / don´t pressure example is really squishy. Later one can easily claim, I felt pressured, I was not sure, ... A Paul Eckman training for micro expressions to find contradictions? Yes, we will have sufficient examples for clear cases of yes, no and maybe. Where both parties agree. But what happens if both parties have a different perception of the same event. A asks B if B wants tea. B: "eww, yes" A makes tea and B trinks tea. Later B says that he felt obligated to drink tea for $reasons and said "yes.", but never wanted to,... Why do we put the weight on the initiator? Is sex not somewhat a give & take? Is it after the 10th iteration really important if A or B initiated it? So basically the safe side to never initiate sex to be on the save side and thus put the weight on the active part?
+essmene Martyc909 does not have an answer for any of this, but then, I suppose no one really does. There's a lot of questions and scenarios that are going to be too ambiguous to define. There isn't always going to be a clear-cut rule book you can turn to that outlines a Yes or No answer for each situation. Although, maybe this was the point you were trying to get at all along with your questioning? Alas the only real thing you can do is make your verdict on a case-by-case basis; for both the initiator/receiver when they are deciding, and for the jury once the act happens.
This combines tea with a brilliantly concise analogy ! Thank you. I enjoyed the humor in this, as serious as the topic is. I also appreciated the neutrality of the stick figures - making this more of a cute informative video, rather than a video painting a villain. Also, now I want cuppa
Krysten1785 Not according to trolls like Spydiggity lol... further proof that ANY discussion on consent is going to get treated like a condemnation by ignorant fools who wish to silence the discussion, just like discussions on race, sexuality, and gender...
I have always said do men not understand that sex is much more enjoyable with someone who actually moved and participates? I cannot imagine that it would be fun to hump a person who is not aware.
This was hilarious hahah. Had me dying the entire time. More educational videos needs to be like this funny because 1) actually payed attention 2) easier to remember
1:46 - that was me 16 years ago. This still made me laugh though, it makes it seem very silly that I ever blamed myself and happy that other people really do understand how to be a decent human.
And remember it also goes both ways because it’s your tea in the first place !! Even if they want your tea, you can outright refuse to make them tea. If they don’t want tea once or a few times, you can altogether stop asking them for tea indefinitely and refuse / make tea when they ask for it themselves later on. If they don’t want tea and you don’t like it, you can cut ties with them and try finding someone who actually wants your tea. If they said they want your tea when going to your house and after getting there they don’t like it, you can make them leave.
"And on that note, I'm going to go make myself a cup of tea." Subtle way of saying you're going to masturbate. Every time I hear someone say tea, I'm going to think of sex or masturbation (if the tea is self-served).
What happens if you and your "friend" are INEBRIATED and they say they want want tea, drinks the tea, wakes up the next day and can't remember saying they wanted tea and complains to someone that you made them drink tea? And what if the defense is that you met the person in a tea shop while they were wearing a shirt that said "I love tea! I want tea" and you talked about tea the whole night as you were both becoming inebriated?
fundifferent1 BTW, I'm glad there's a "clean" version. I don't mind foul language but the one part in the other version with several f-bombs was so random and unnecessary and isolates a good chunk of audiences and consumers who could use this video (i.e. freshman orientation rape lectures).
That is a good reason to not share tea with someone when they're blackout drunk. Someone blackout drunk is not likely to have a good tea drinking experience anyway.
Also, if someone wears a t-shirt that says "I love tea! I want tea!" but when you offer them tea they say, "no thanks," don't make them tea, and don't force them to drink tea. Just because they love tea, or wear a shirt that says they love tea, doesn't mean they want to drink tea with you at that moment, and it doesn't mean you're entitled to watch them drink tea.
drunk people cannot legally give consent. done, finished, doesn't matter what they say at the time. if you proceed you do so at risk of rape allegations.
Heres a concept for you. If you ask someone what kind of drink they like, and they say "Coffee please", dont make them a cup of tea and tell them that theres no difference in the beverages. You're not entitled to them accepting tea when what they really want is coffee, and the thought of tea makes them gag. They're under no obligation to drink tea just because thats all you have, they like coffee. Mixing a bit of coffee into yoour tea is not going to entice them to drink your tea, they just dont like tea.
This is awesome! Simplest explanation of sexual consent on TH-cam. Thanks for the clean version. Blue Seat Studios, you have gained another subscriber.
Some additions -Dead people do not want tea -It’s okay if people say they want tea, they try the tea, and refuse to have more -Do not make tea in public because who would have a kettle outside of their house?
I was recently raped multiple times by a man who thought coercing and manipulating me into saying yes meant that i gave consent. I was disappointed that coercion and manipulation was left out of this video... Let this be a lesson to all, if you constantly ask, coerce, manipulate, and guilt trip her until she feels like she has to let you force feed her tea, does not in any way mean that she has ever or will ever want your tea.
@@seiliwennam Yes, this can happen when manipulative people are insistent. People give in out of exhaustion. If they say no multiple times, a yes that finally comes is not valid. That's why I like the bicycle video better.
What if I go to a teashop, buy the tea, drink the tea, but don't like the tea. Can I have my money back? - :) Seriously! This is an awesome video that creatively gets this simple (which should be common sense) message across! Nice job!
Sometimes they “encourage” you until you say “sure” and that’s good enough for them to get you to take a sip when you’re actually uncomfortable drinking tea.
It seems to me that a lot of people here think that this about having sex with someone who's drunk, but it's not. The analogy works no matter if the person is sober or not.
Also, if people say they just want a plain, straight forward cup of tea, don't force them to drink some crazy strange tea, they just want standard tea. And, if people say they don't drink tea, don't hate them, they don't like tea.
Saying Yes to the tea, enjoying it when you get it. Later on being regretful because the person made tea for someone else too, doesn’t mean you didn’t want the tea in the first place.
you should add: if you made the person tea, they started drinking the tea, but realized they didn't want it after all, don't force them to finish the tea. you are not entitled to watch them finish the tea. sure, it might be annoying and frustrating, but they just no longer want the tea. maybe it was too hot. maybe they suddenly started to feel sick. no matter the reason, they are under no obligation to finish the tea.
95% of people : I knew this already, I don't force people to drink tea. 5% of people : I knew this already, but still don't give a sh*t. 0% of people : I did not understand this concept, but now I do. Thanks!
*Whiny Rush Limbaugh voice*: But that takes all the romance out of tea! Serving tea to guests used to be an art! How is it suddenly considered bad etiquette to drive your guest to a secluded place in the woods, sneak an arm around them, hold a cup of tea right under their nose, maybe push their head down a little, and all but say that the car is going nowhere until they DRINK THE FUCKING TEA! That's how romantic we were back in the day! And now that makes you a bad host? What do these teaminists expect us to do, ask our guests to sign a tea consent form?!? It's utterly ridiculous. And what if they say no? Does it always mean they really want no tea? How many of you hosts, in your own experience with guests, have learned that "no, I don't want tea" sometimes means "I'm dying for a cup of Jasmin" if you know how to spot it?
What a great video! It's great how it explains different types of consent. I only just heard about this through an article about the Tangshan restaurant attack
@@wififishygaming Different acts in sex. If you consent to one part of sex it doesnt mean you consent to every part. If they only want normal tea and not ice tea then you cant make them drink the ice tea but they might still be open to normal tea.
What if the person told you they wanted Tea in advance. After you made the tea you asked if they still wanted it and they said YES. You give them the tea and they confirm while they are drinking the tea that yes they do want your tea. Then a week later they decide that they now after they told you yes, confirmed yes after it was made, said yes as they drank it, and thanked you for it after that NOW they all of the sudden didn't want your tea.
Maytons the trouble is, if nobody pays then nobody can get the services. Or another way, when the people who require the services arguably can't ever afford the expenses, that's the area for governments. (say, a road across your country, you're not going to build that to to drive to your relatives)
Forcing someone to drink tea can cause ptsd, body image issues, depression, anxiety, can make the person and their loved ones be in distress for years. And they will all resent you. So if someone doesn't want tea, move on. Dont destroy people's lives.
Thanks to my two bulky friends who forced me to watch this video, I finally now understand "consent", Now women in my neighbourhood can safely roam the streets at night without fear of me forcing hot tea down their throat
I seriously came here looking for tips on tea etiquette and when I started watching I skipped 7 seconds into the video. It took me longer than it should have for me to realize that this had nothing to do with tea.
i've been with my girlfriend for over a year, we have 'cups of tea' together regularly, but we have never ever in this entire time asked each other if we want tea, we just sometimes drink tea, and sometimes do not, neither of us ever asks, via words at least.
but the difference is that you two still communicate it, even if it's non-verbal. If you or her weren't feeling it, the other person wouldn't be like "um, too bad, I want tea so you have to have tea too."
Consent doesn't necessarily need to be communicated verbally. When it comes to consent education, verbal consent is often emphasized because it's the clearest and least ambiguous form and thus the most ideal for people who don't know each other well. But many people still often or even exclusively use nonverbal consent. As long as the signals are clear that's perfectly fine. Some signs of nonverbal consent can include: undressing, touching the other person sensually, nodding, enthusiastic body language, moving closer to the other person, guiding the other person's hands over their body, indicating the other person should follow them to a more private location, a bedroom, etc. Some examples of body language that indicate they are not consenting can include: pointedly ignoring the other person, brushing or shaking them off, avoiding eye contact, freezing or stiffening up, trying to put distance between themselves and the other person, trying to leave, closed-off body language, crying, etc. If you're ever unsure whether the signals the person is sending you are consent or not, checking in verbally is a good way to make sure, but as you can see it is still quite possible and common to communicate consent without saying anything.
Reading some of the comments, it seems there might be some people who have a cup of hot water and can't figure out what to put in it, let alone who to serve it to and when! :)
I could go to London, head to Buckingham Palace, and dig a hole in it to grab a handful of dirt that has been in the British Isles since before a human being ever stepped foot onto it, and it would be less British than this video.
One thing the video missed. If someone makes you tea and you accept it and voluntarily drink it but then change your mind AFTER already drinking it, that doesn’t mean you can spit the tea back out at them or accuse them of forcing the tea upon them when you actually accepted it.
It depends on the situation but people can change their mind even if they drank the tea. They don’t have to fully drink the tea if they don’t want to. They can drink as much as they want to and if they don’t want more that’s okay. You shouldn’t get mad at them for not wanting to drink all of your tea
Nobody is claiming r^pe after they consented, unless.... A. that consent was coerced, B. they told you to stop mid act and you didn't stop, or C. they consented to a specific kind of sex, but you did other things they didn't consent to.
Also just because a person said yes to one type of tea doesn't mean they will say yes to every type of tea
sometimes it happens that just as you are pouring the tea and the sugar cubes are already in the cup.. they say... oh but I don't want to have to deal with sugary tea.
but by then it is to late.
@@sailaab Then you make them a new tea. And then you make sure they want to drink the new tea.
@@D144AU Why not have them make their own tea? They know their own preferences best.
@@aikkhimtan9171 It’s a safe idea to let your partner decide, but you also have the right to be vocal about your own preferences and boundaries. Ideally, when engaging in sex, you should talk with your partner beforehand to ensure that both of you feel comfortable during the act. Then you both contribute to the preparation and enjoyment of the “tea”.
Same with jabs 💉.
It doesn't make them "anti tea"ers.
Now if only governments (and their media) could understand this...
You could also add "if someone doesn't know what tea is, or is too young to drink tea, do not force the tea on them."
If someone doesn't know what tea is, or is too young to drink tea, it would be inappropriate to even offer them a cup of tea, much less force it on them. In fact, you also shouldn't allow them to see you drinking tea--whether you're drinking it alone or sharing.
Meggan Hayes TOO YOUNG TO DRINK TEA!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
eljolto 2 well obviously babies and toddlers can't
eljolto 2 because tea is code for sex in the video and kids can't have sex
Vaughan... very V E R Y true :(
in-fact those who do anything even remotely similar... should have their gonads removed and flogged for eternity :'(
also, being dressed for a tea party doesn't mean they want tea either.
+Fals3Agent THANK YOU
+Fals3Agent yes! this needs added to the video.
great addition.
+Fals3Agent why the fuck would you dress for a tea party if you dont want tea
.
+Fals3Agent That is true, but it's not really necessary to bring up. Regardless of how anyone is dressed, or where they are, you still have to ask them the question: Do you want tea? Then the video takes it from there. The only thing it doesn't really cover is inebriation.
If someone wants tea from your kettle, you don't necessarily have to give it to them
Your kettle, your rules
Nice
❤❤❤
50 Shades of Earl Grey
best comment on the video
+Angus Nicol, yep
+PkHrGd I there were Oscars for comments, this is it.
Ah! this comment wins the interwebs!
my teacher showed this video to the whole grade 7 lmao
And if someone is wearing a shirt that says "I LOVE tea", it´s still not okay to force them to drink tea.
40th like! :3
I just wrote the exact same comment
This video could also include that even if this person has had lots of tea with lots of other people they can still say NO to tea with you. Casual tea drinking with other people does not mean they want tea with you.
absolutely!!!!! good call
👍👍👍
So, if a couple have sex with each other hundreds of times without ever getting what Feminists define as "verbal consent", should they both be arrested & imprisoned? If so, hundreds of millions of both men & women would have to be incarcerated
+Robert Willis reread this, I'm thinking your pea sized brain missed something very obvious
Just because they didn't say no, doesn't mean they're saying yes
Enjoy "making yourself tea" ;)
deepvybes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) if you get what I mean...
Neue Ära i would like ur comment but it’s on 69 likes
hahaa
I caught that as well
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT THIS JOKE LMAO
Also important to add: don't convince them to have tea. If they said no to having tea multiple times and only said yes because you kept bugging them.. that's still a no to tea. Don't force the tea on them.
Very good. Now just replace "tea" with "MRNA vaccine".
I mean as long as you don’t force them to want tea, it’s fine. You sure can convince them to drink tea by saying yeah it’s good, you’ll like it etc but you never force them saying you have to drink it.
@@snozzlehead92 A person not drinking tea does not have the potential to wipe out civilisation, the MRNA vaccine, on the other hand...
If you just changed you mind because they were bugging you is that rape?
@@jamiepitts4708 it’s coercion and that’s a form of sexual abuse
If a person is so drunk that they can't hold a teacup without spilling the tea,
don't give them tea...
actually you should because it might help sober them.
In general, if a person is not able to stand on their feet or is old enough to hold their cup properly and know what tea tastes like and the temperature it will have, do not even offer them tea because they cannot consent. They can burn themselves or break the cup.
you should probably get them some water or to a toilet though
If you are drunk and your friend is drunk then you shouldn't have tea at all. Even for your own safety, you may get burnt with the kettle
bonneyMhasfuckedme I think you are no position to disallow tea for drunk people. If the person is so stupid that they cant control their tea cravings while being drunk then that person should avoid being drunk at all, IF THE PERSON IS NOT happy with their tea cravings while drunk that is.
I'm not disallowing tea for anybody, it's an advice, even if everyone is content with the result it's still potentially dangerous for everyone involved. I'm not saying is bad having tea cravings, I'm not saying is bad having tea while drunk, but if you or the other person is SO drunk that they won't even remember having tea, then you (or the other person) should let the tea for other time. It's not that hard to understand. You are not stupid, you are drunk (which is similar anyway) and everybody has been drunker than expected at some point, it happens, so it's being a good person not giving tea to someone who is so drunk that could go jump off a cliff because it's funny.
jarzez " If the person is so stupid that they cant control their tea cravings while being drunk then that person should avoid being drunk at all,"
Unfortunately, that's not gonna be the case in California much longer (or already?), If I have the new consent law right in my mind. Basically, the scenario in 1:53 where 'you make the tea, your friend drinks the tea, and they pass out'? well, your friend can wake up, call the cops and sue you for making tea they wanted, even if you just took the tea to the sink and put your friend in bed. Because drunk people can't say yes to tea. Which is why I'm so mixed up with the law to begin with.
+bonneyMhasfuckedme There is a strong chance that if they passed out in the middle of drinking tea, they were drunk. If they are drunk they should NOT have tea. They could vomit the tea onto you, then you have a legal case and that vomit could be a permanent stain on your record. (Sex offender registration). So it is best not to give tea to a drunk person.
The Man not at all, but it seems there is people who, I can't understand why, isn't capable to tell a person who is drunk from a person who is nearly unconscious. It's sad and the world would be a better place if people had a little common sense, but that doesn't seem to be the case...
Last year in eighth grade they showed us this video and they were worried we would be like "LAME" but no we were actually talking about a lot like "woah that was really educational I actually get this wowie" so A++ for teaching even the douchiest boys that consent is everything, you get a gold star
If they don't want the tea, is it ok if I have tea by myself?
It is, as long as you don't pour the dregs out on them when you're done.
+TheSwamper Heck yeah! You made that you can drink it if you want to! You could sip the tea and make it last cuz you like tea, or you can slam the tea to make it go away. If the tea is for you it's up to you
+TheSwamper
For best effect, you should have tea with someone you want tea with, in front of the tea-refuser. You might even get them to leave, as an added bonus.
+TheSwamper Yes, I too like treating myself from time to time.
Yes
Ahh, so this is why people join the tea party movement.
Snowrazor. wow. just wow...
What if you want two teas? Is that called a teasome?
Maybe, but if someone said they wanted one tea, don't assume they want two
Depends what the second cup is. Some people might not want a camomile, but if they think that they can get a cup of earl grey, if they accept the chamomile, because the earl grey feels that it can only be paired with the camomile to compliment the pallet, then someone who could never stomach camomile might drink camomile, only to get some earl grey. Moral of the story, I want some earl grey.
Sounds like a full on tea party! - But what about HIgh Tea? What does that makes this situation :P
How do I apply biscuits in the process by the way?
Human Being
Which one? They all fit that category.
ALSO, if someone says yes to drinking tea and then decides midway through drinking the tea that they don’t want tea anymore or asks to stop drinking the tea, don’t make them finish the tea. Put the tea down immediately. DONT force them to finish the tea. DONT try to convince them to finish the tea. DONT guilt them into finishing the tea just because they started drinking it. The where, what, when, how and why they DONT want tea is not your business and should be respected at all times!!!!
I wish they made a version that talked about consent for any physical contact (hugs, kisses, etc.) that could be shown to even younger kids. If a friend says "I don't want a hug" or "I don't want to wrestle" then...don't do it. It's the beginning of learning to respect other people. Teach that respect and consent stuff from Preschool and keep on adding to it as they grow.
th-cam.com/video/h3nhM9UlJjc/w-d-xo.html
agreed
This is a great analogy, BUT I think it's awful that we even need it. This should be extremely obvious to anyone.
But people will argue that you need to teach this to people so that they do not become tea enforcers of any kind.
Sadly, some people really don't get it. My brother keeps staring and stalking at a girl even though she clearly told him to stop, and no matter how I told (or maybe, yelled and screamed at) him how wrong that is, how terrifying she must've been, how "consent" is key, how I would slice and dice any offender that dares hurt me or my loved ones... NOTHING WORKS.
He keeps babbling about like "WHY would she be scared~ I'm showing her love and affection~ Wouldn't she be so thankful"
I'm SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED. I would so lock him up to prevent him from hurting anyone else if I had the right...
By the way, he's 20, not 5, 20! It's like he received absolute 0 sex-ed or has 0 empathy.
Now I'm just searching through any related videos or articles to teach him, and hoping that this one works!
I thought that in 2018 we would be more progressive, or at least have some human decency, sadly many are still retarded, and that terrifies me.
if the percentage of sexual assaults in the US, 24%, is still 24% then.... yeah, we all still need it
Physical harm is never the way I have been in many fights and I myself know there is ALWAYS another way
Well, it’s not. Please respect other people’s honest ignorance. It’s behavior and comments like this that significantly contribute to the problem.
Drinking tea alone is also pretty nice and cuddly. You can always do that until you find someone that wants to drink tea with you.
huh
huh
But don’t drink tea in front of other people bc they said they don’t want tea 😂
@@alexedward8082 LOL
Fun fact. If you say “I WANT YOU TO DRINK TEA RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IM SAD AND ILL HURT MYSELF OTHERWISE” isn’t getting consent either
The whole thing is hilarious. When I watched it the first time I didn't hear the sex being mentioned at the beginning, it made the whole ending a whole lot more profound.
(you can literally explain how not to be pushy in general with this video. For instance, if you are an overzealous host, and we are actually talking about tea)
Eyal Plotkin
I also didnt hear the word sex in the beginning (I assmued it would be about being a missionary ;-) )
So, I also think the video would be better if you dont name the topic in the beginning!
That must have been quite the shock
"well maybe they wanted tea but in the time it took to boil the kettle brew the tea and add the milk they are now unconcious" will never not be hilarious to me.
This video is amazing. Its been years since Ive been watching it. Each time I get a new layer of it. And now I see consent goes much further than just sex.
This needs to be said to parents as well. Because telling your kids to come hug you or give you a kiss need to learn that their children need to learn affirmative consent as well. They need to learn how to consent with us first because we are supposed to be safe for them. This is something I learned later in life by someone that came into our life and pointed it out to me. She was right. Still is.
This is exactly the case with my younger sister. She always barges into my room and gives me hugs (which more often than not, suffocates me both physically and mentally) Some of the time I’m fine with it (as long as there is something like a blanket between us), other times I tell her no and ask her to leave me alone, she gets more and more insistent and I just give up trying to resist. But on days where I really just want to be left alone, I tell her “Please leave me alone”, but she doesn’t listen! She just keeps insisting that “nobody wants to be left alone” / “the more you ask me to leave the more I will try to stay cause I love you that much” and tries to breach more of my personal space, it’s really frustrating. Something I just pry her off me and bee line to the bathroom where I can lock the door. I tried explaining boundaries to her but she just treats it like it’s a joke. I tried bringing this up to my mom but she brushes it off and ignores it as she believes that it is how family who love each other should act like. Sometimes my mom even berates me for not accepting my sisters “love”. I hope this video can help her understand why I don’t want hugs a bit better
if the person is too young to drink tea, even if they said yes, dont make them tea.
...Nobody is too young to drink tea. Not that tea is good. Tea sucks. Give them milk or something more suitable for children in the first place.
no give them cancer
@@jacksocks6946 good idea
@@breakmystupidniconicokneec3353 that was 3 years ago bro wtf
@@jacksocks6946 that was 16 hours ago ( insert bard words)
I was drinking tea while I watched this, so I'm feeling dirty at this point.
Oh Waltham, honey, that's not very tea-positive, is it.
Dirty, dirty tea.
I’m so sorry for your loss…
Sex (whoops.. I meant tea of course) is never dirty as long as it's consensual!
I know this is supposed to follow on a serious topic
But
I laughed way more than I should have
Imagine just chillin wakin up to find tea doused on you and some dude just starin at you like
"Drink the tea"
Pure brilliance. Clear as day. Only thing it doesn't address is people who could care less about what anyone else wants to drink cause they're super focused on how thirsty they are.
Nailed it. Best video I've seen so far. I really like that you addressed, very clearly, that consent can be given and yet a person can change their mind! Ground breaking I know. I also appreciate the gender neutral aspect.
Well done.
This is SO GOOD!
Addendum for the video; when drinking tea -
- If someone offers you tea and you don't really want it, but say yes anyway and drink the tea then don't blame the person offering. How were they to know?
- If you want tea, and you have the tea, but later realise it was a bad decision, learn to live with it. Don't blame whoever offered you the tea.
- If two or more of you get really drunk and decide to share loads of tea, even though you wouldn't if sober, then the fault does not lie only with the person who owns the kettle.
- There is a big difference between persuading someone to try your tea, and forcing them. Threats, blackmail (emotional or otherwise) and intimidation are forcing and not acceptable.
- No-one owes you tea. Not everyone with a kettle wants tea all the time or with everyone they meet.
Consent, it's about communication and it goes both ways.
+Subatomic Aggressions Agree mostly... except for a few changes.. Like your things are true but the tea maker can be a bit more critical.
-If someone looks really weird while drinking the tea. Talk about it. Maybe they feel bad about asking for tea and now don't want to say no. But you don't want anyone drinking your tea when they don't really want to right?
-If someone decides to have tea and regrets it later it's not your fault but you wish you stopped them. You try to remember what the signals are for next time.
-This one is true. People who try to turn this into rape annoy me.
-True! But there is a fine line between persuading and forcing someone. Try to put the best interest of the other person before your sexual needs.
-YES.
I get where you are coming from but I have experience with people who technically did nothing wrong but I just felt that they didn't give a shit about my feelings and needs. They just wanted to fuck me. Doesn't matter if I'd regret it, if it would make me feel like shit. And then try to hide behind excuses like this. (I have to add that I did say no and pushed away multiple times and at one point I did walk away). Maybe it is not rape but it still makes you a shitty person. And this is not always the case. You just have to stay critical of yourself and not be like "I didn't rape her so I did nothing wrong".
+Subatomic Aggressions Rewatch the section about the person passing out. The key is communication. If the person drinking your tea is cringing with every sips. Offer to make them a coffee, and netflix. Your tea isn't good, or they changed their mind. Accept this.
+Julia Nymwhen While I appreciate people bringing some nuance into this and thinking it through, I kind of start to have doubt whether or not the analogy of having tea is really all that great. It isn't all that simple, after all, is it? I guess we have to "thank" puritanism for this. If people were able to openly talk about sex the same way we talk about whether we want tea or not, this all could be a lot easier. But all the piercing shame and guilt associated with sex, especially "premarital sex" that is drilled into many people's heads from early childhood on contributes largely to things becoming a lot more complicated than they need to be. And that sucks.
Something I read said "Consent is really too low a bar - hold out for enthusiasm." Sometimes someone might say yes when they don't really mean it and if you are not an idiot you might realise this from their mood/actions/expression etc.
Vicki Sullivan If you're setting the bar that high, there's a whole lot of rape happening. Especially inside marriages. I don't want to blame the victim but people have to learn to say no instead of expecting others to read minds.
This video is brilliant. Such a clear way to explain a "difficult" topic.
So many people are confused about tea regretting tea the next day. This is where communication and knowing if a person is drunk is important. Usually people who regret drinking the tea are drunk and can't make decisions for them, but they may not be so drunk they've passed out yet. In this case, you don't give them tea. One thing about drunk people is they may throw up. If you give them tea, they may throw up on you. In that case, you may get a stain on you that may never come off (sex offender registry). It is better to just NOT give that drunk person tea.
Also, be 100% certain with communication. Don't pressure someone into tea. They may say they want tea, but really they just want you to leave them alone. In that case, they may feel pressure to drink the tea you made them, but they really just want to go to their room. They didn't change their mind the next morning, sometimes they felt like they had their mind made up for them.
Finally, just because someone drank tea with someone else doesn't mean they want your tea. You are not in the friend zone, they just may like Green Tea and you only have Earl Tea. It's okay, someone out there loves Earl Tea and I'm sure you two will be happy together.
yes true
+martyc909 And if two drunk people decide to drink tea? And how do you determine drunk - its a continuum, where symptoms can differ from intoxication. Do people making tea need a course in blood alcohol analytic, behavioural psychology, physical tests to determine intoxication?
Is it a zero alcohol rule for both, for one, ... If not how much alcohol is too much? Who has the burden of proof if parties disagree later?
Which party has the responsibility on communication. The sender or the recipient. Are both parties involved in the discussion and both responsible for success or failure in the communication or is it the tea maker as the active part over the drinker. And how does this relate to sex? Who is maker and recipient. Are both parties equally involved or does one dominate the other?
***** The line of drunk is grey. Which is why I tell my male students to not let their actions be left for interpretation by others. In other words, if it's questionable, don't leave it up to someone else to define your actions for you. Also, in most cases, drunk is if a REASONABLE person can tell if that person is drunk. If they threw up, if they can't stand, if they lost control of their reason, many things. If it's reasonable that they are drunk, then you can't do anything to them. So I tell the guys, don't let someone else dictate your intentions, especially if you are drunk. Because it's the "initiator" who is the responsible person in these cases. The one who initiated sex is the one who will be charged. And most of the times, that's the guy. So even when both parties are drunk, it's the one who is the initiator that is responsible. And it's like drunk driving, just because your drunk, that's not an excuse to harming someone.
+martyc909 I like the drunk driving example. In my country we have a clear scientific rule for drunk driving. If the alcohol concentration in your blood exceeds a previously fixed amount you are not fit for driving - this does not take into account a persons personal alcohol tolerance. -- Accountability for a crime however is different. I knew a PhD that previously worked on a scientific approach to measure alcohol tolerance with the goal to predict accountability. While one person maybe lethally intoxicated another could act "normal". So we have one example where the state of unfit is clearly described and may even predicted "e.g. one glass of wine will keep my blood concentration below the limit", while the second example becomes unclear.
I am not talking about persons showing clear signs of an alcohol intoxication (e.g. vomiting), but one cocktail, bottle of wine, ...
Initiate sex. I have no idea when it starts. Kissing, unbuttoning, ... You will have two people telling a story.
Do you need written statements, blood samples, a video documentation, should you get third parties involved that testify both parties are fit to consent and consented.
Is non-verbal communication included - a nod to the question for tea/sex a yes / consent?
Communication is prone to errors and even between two (sober) adults we have misapprehension.
the be 100% certain / don´t pressure example is really squishy. Later one can easily claim, I felt pressured, I was not sure, ... A Paul Eckman training for micro expressions to find contradictions?
Yes, we will have sufficient examples for clear cases of yes, no and maybe. Where both parties agree. But what happens if both parties have a different perception of the same event.
A asks B if B wants tea.
B: "eww, yes"
A makes tea and B trinks tea.
Later B says that he felt obligated to drink tea for $reasons and said "yes.", but never wanted to,...
Why do we put the weight on the initiator? Is sex not somewhat a give & take? Is it after the 10th iteration really important if A or B initiated it? So basically the safe side to never initiate sex to be on the save side and thus put the weight on the active part?
+essmene Martyc909 does not have an answer for any of this, but then, I suppose no one really does. There's a lot of questions and scenarios that are going to be too ambiguous to define. There isn't always going to be a clear-cut rule book you can turn to that outlines a Yes or No answer for each situation. Although, maybe this was the point you were trying to get at all along with your questioning? Alas the only real thing you can do is make your verdict on a case-by-case basis; for both the initiator/receiver when they are deciding, and for the jury once the act happens.
Also: if you spill the tea, you’re going to have to watch the resulting mess grow and develop for the next 18 years
lmaooooo
shut up tea puddle
This combines tea with a brilliantly concise analogy ! Thank you.
I enjoyed the humor in this, as serious as the topic is.
I also appreciated the neutrality of the stick figures - making this more of a cute informative video, rather than a video painting a villain.
Also, now I want cuppa
I agree. Im really glad they left out the stereotypes. And like you said, effectively avoided painting a villian.
Krysten1785 Not according to trolls like Spydiggity lol... further proof that ANY discussion on consent is going to get treated like a condemnation by ignorant fools who wish to silence the discussion, just like discussions on race, sexuality, and gender...
***** Actual tea, or...? LOL
If I had a dollar everytime you said the word "Tea", I would have 39 dollars.
Also great video!
Brilliant video, simply don't drink the tea if you are drunk as you won't be able hold a cup properly!!
I think this should be on everyone’s recommended list. It needs more views!
UNCONSCIOUS PEOPLE DON'T WANT TEA
I have always said do men not understand that sex is much more enjoyable with someone who actually moved and participates? I cannot imagine that it would be fun to hump a person who is not aware.
I do. Unless I'm hungover.
More like "they can't possibly consent to having tea"
In Britain, we won't force people to have tea, especially if they are unconscious.
If the person too young to hold a mug... don't give them tea...
Consent is a necessary part of any relationship.
HAHAHAHAH THIS IS HILARIOUS. ‘FORCE THEM TO DRINK TEA’ yooo the animation was amazing 🤣
This was hilarious hahah. Had me dying the entire time. More educational videos needs to be like this funny because 1) actually payed attention 2) easier to remember
show this in schools
+Jordyn McKinley they actually do (at least my teacher)
+TheTellTV well your lucky then, at mine they just say don't have sex.
XD
They showed this in mine too
Velociraptor of Doom same but it was the explicit one
I love how he used tea to explain how consent work it just makes it so clear. No one can not understand this or say "but"... Well done video!!
1:46 - that was me 16 years ago. This still made me laugh though, it makes it seem very silly that I ever blamed myself and happy that other people really do understand how to be a decent human.
And remember it also goes both ways because it’s your tea in the first place !!
Even if they want your tea, you can outright refuse to make them tea. If they don’t want tea once or a few times, you can altogether stop asking them for tea indefinitely and refuse / make tea when they ask for it themselves later on.
If they don’t want tea and you don’t like it, you can cut ties with them and try finding someone who actually wants your tea.
If they said they want your tea when going to your house and after getting there they don’t like it, you can make them leave.
This needs to be shown in every single high school
"And on that note, I'm going to go make myself a cup of tea."
Subtle way of saying you're going to masturbate.
Every time I hear someone say tea, I'm going to think of sex or masturbation (if the tea is self-served).
OceanEatsBoat I hope one day this expression will be a thing
Aurélien Dos Santos Want some tea?
Mahou Shojo Shovel It's boiling.
They showed this at my school assembly😭😭😭
What happens if you and your "friend" are INEBRIATED and they say they want want tea, drinks the tea, wakes up the next day and can't remember saying they wanted tea and complains to someone that you made them drink tea? And what if the defense is that you met the person in a tea shop while they were wearing a shirt that said "I love tea! I want tea" and you talked about tea the whole night as you were both becoming inebriated?
fundifferent1 BTW, I'm glad there's a "clean" version. I don't mind foul language but the one part in the other version with several f-bombs was so random and unnecessary and isolates a good chunk of audiences and consumers who could use this video (i.e. freshman orientation rape lectures).
That is a good reason to not share tea with someone when they're blackout drunk. Someone blackout drunk is not likely to have a good tea drinking experience anyway.
Also, if someone wears a t-shirt that says "I love tea! I want tea!" but when you offer them tea they say, "no thanks," don't make them tea, and don't force them to drink tea. Just because they love tea, or wear a shirt that says they love tea, doesn't mean they want to drink tea with you at that moment, and it doesn't mean you're entitled to watch them drink tea.
drunk people cannot legally give consent. done, finished, doesn't matter what they say at the time. if you proceed you do so at risk of rape allegations.
Heres a concept for you. If you ask someone what kind of drink they like, and they say "Coffee please", dont make them a cup of tea and tell them that theres no difference in the beverages. You're not entitled to them accepting tea when what they really want is coffee, and the thought of tea makes them gag. They're under no obligation to drink tea just because thats all you have, they like coffee. Mixing a bit of coffee into yoour tea is not going to entice them to drink your tea, they just dont like tea.
Remember watching this multiple times during school
If they change their mind about tea I would drink it.
This is awesome! Simplest explanation of sexual consent on TH-cam. Thanks for the clean version. Blue Seat Studios, you have gained another subscriber.
Some additions
-Dead people do not want tea
-It’s okay if people say they want tea, they try the tea, and refuse to have more
-Do not make tea in public because who would have a kettle outside of their house?
Dead people don’t NOT want tea either
this was so funny, i wish this type of stuff was always presented like this
I was recently raped multiple times by a man who thought coercing and manipulating me into saying yes meant that i gave consent.
I was disappointed that coercion and manipulation was left out of this video...
Let this be a lesson to all, if you constantly ask, coerce, manipulate, and guilt trip her until she feels like she has to let you force feed her tea, does not in any way mean that she has ever or will ever want your tea.
I’m confused.
You said yes but didn’t mean yes?
I'm so sorry that happened to you. x
@@seiliwennam Yes, this can happen when manipulative people are insistent. People give in out of exhaustion. If they say no multiple times, a yes that finally comes is not valid. That's why I like the bicycle video better.
If they do not want tea. Perhaps, you can just imagine them having tea :P
What if I go to a teashop, buy the tea, drink the tea, but don't like the tea. Can I have my money back? - :) Seriously! This is an awesome video that creatively gets this simple (which should be common sense) message across! Nice job!
Thank you for cleaning this up - I can now show this in school!
Sometimes they “encourage” you until you say “sure” and that’s good enough for them to get you to take a sip when you’re actually uncomfortable drinking tea.
Well then halfway through, you can refuse to drink the tea.
It seems to me that a lot of people here think that this about having sex with someone who's drunk, but it's not. The analogy works no matter if the person is sober or not.
Also, if people say they just want a plain, straight forward cup of tea, don't force them to drink some crazy strange tea, they just want standard tea. And, if people say they don't drink tea, don't hate them, they don't like tea.
dodie yellowTM nice
Saying Yes to the tea, enjoying it when you get it. Later on being regretful because the person made tea for someone else too, doesn’t mean you didn’t want the tea in the first place.
Make sure you know the person well enough to know how they will feel afterwards. Perhaps get to know her better before you have tea? Just a thought.
This needs to have captions or subtitles for the Deaf and hard of hearing. The need equal access to this video. They like tea too and need to know.
You mean...like clicking the 'cc' button at the bottom of the video window to turn on captions?
real cations would be better unless the English is understandable enough that the words are clear.
And if you are both too young to have tea, then even if she says she wants tea, do not give her any tea...
Thanks for the clean version! showing it to my phys ed class
"and on that note, I'm gonna go and make myself a cup of tea" I thought this was supposed to be a clean version
Super! Really well done in its simplicity.
you should add: if you made the person tea, they started drinking the tea, but realized they didn't want it after all, don't force them to finish the tea. you are not entitled to watch them finish the tea. sure, it might be annoying and frustrating, but they just no longer want the tea. maybe it was too hot. maybe they suddenly started to feel sick. no matter the reason, they are under no obligation to finish the tea.
And everyone likes their tea prepared in different ways. It's not wrong of them to have it in a way you don't like.
95% of people : I knew this already, I don't force people to drink tea.
5% of people : I knew this already, but still don't give a sh*t.
0% of people : I did not understand this concept, but now I do. Thanks!
+Bass Pot That!
+Bass Pot THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally someone who isn't a crazy feminist!
*****
If it's on the internet, then surely you can provide some examples.
*Whiny Rush Limbaugh voice*: But that takes all the romance out of tea! Serving tea to guests used to be an art! How is it suddenly considered bad etiquette to drive your guest to a secluded place in the woods, sneak an arm around them, hold a cup of tea right under their nose, maybe push their head down a little, and all but say that the car is going nowhere until they DRINK THE FUCKING TEA! That's how romantic we were back in the day! And now that makes you a bad host? What do these teaminists expect us to do, ask our guests to sign a tea consent form?!? It's utterly ridiculous. And what if they say no? Does it always mean they really want no tea? How many of you hosts, in your own experience with guests, have learned that "no, I don't want tea" sometimes means "I'm dying for a cup of Jasmin" if you know how to spot it?
NO IS ALWAYS NO. End of the story.
What a great video! It's great how it explains different types of consent. I only just heard about this through an article about the Tangshan restaurant attack
If someone declines your tea, don't offer them tea ever again. Offer someone else your tea.
damn straight
fuckin tea haters
Take it from me, tea parties are AWESOME
Caution: If Bill Cosby offers you tea, you should say NO! under any circumstances!
Have a Coke and a smile then. LoL
Thanks so much for making and posting these! I will happily be sharing them.
Yes I watched this in my high school
😭 I English saw the British version first but bloody love this version too 😂
If someone wants iced tea it doesn't mean they want normal tea
What how does that represent sex
@@wififishygaming Different acts in sex. If you consent to one part of sex it doesnt mean you consent to every part. If they only want normal tea and not ice tea then you cant make them drink the ice tea but they might still be open to normal tea.
To be honest I don’t even know
What if the person told you they wanted Tea in advance. After you made the tea you asked if they still wanted it and they said YES. You give them the tea and they confirm while they are drinking the tea that yes they do want your tea.
Then a week later they decide that they now after they told you yes, confirmed yes after it was made, said yes as they drank it, and thanked you for it after that NOW they all of the sudden didn't want your tea.
I love THIS!!
Everyone should watch this.
This applies very well government. "No, I don't want your services". "Too bad, give us your money".
Maytons the trouble is, if nobody pays then nobody can get the services. Or another way, when the people who require the services arguably can't ever afford the expenses, that's the area for governments. (say, a road across your country, you're not going to build that to to drive to your relatives)
My recommended reading for you is Machinery of Freedom by David Friedman.
If we were all mentally and physically very capable all the time, then an anarchistic society could work.
Sadly that's not reality, so..
Again, please watch Machinery of Freedom on TH-cam or download the book free. Your concerns are justified but they have also been resolved my friend.
CanadianLoki76 ... When they do, we just dump all their tea in the harbor in protest.
Forcing someone to drink tea can cause ptsd, body image issues, depression, anxiety, can make the person and their loved ones be in distress for years. And they will all resent you. So if someone doesn't want tea, move on. Dont destroy people's lives.
I love Blue Seat Studios's Tea Consent (Clean) . Thank you. You are funny and speak the truth!
And if they say yes to the tea, they can regret it the next day and still falsely accuse you of having forced tea upon them.
What if someone wants some tea, drinks the tea, then later says that didn't like the tea and wanted to take back drinking the tea
Thanks to my two bulky friends who forced me to watch this video, I finally now understand "consent", Now women in my neighbourhood can safely roam the streets at night without fear of me forcing hot tea down their throat
They played thsi video in my 3rd period health class everyone was crying laughing
SAME
@@yoboijohngaming it was so funny I was trying so hard to hold in my laughter
"I'm gonna go make myself some tea" does that mean your gonna go choke your chicken?
My college showed this at orientation. It was awesome
I seriously came here looking for tips on tea etiquette and when I started watching I skipped 7 seconds into the video. It took me longer than it should have for me to realize that this had nothing to do with tea.
Had to watch this in school today, no regrets
i've been with my girlfriend for over a year, we have 'cups of tea' together regularly, but we have never ever in this entire time asked each other if we want tea, we just sometimes drink tea, and sometimes do not, neither of us ever asks, via words at least.
but the difference is that you two still communicate it, even if it's non-verbal. If you or her weren't feeling it, the other person wouldn't be like "um, too bad, I want tea so you have to have tea too."
Gary McCaffrey well, according to this you could accuse her of rape
Consent doesn't necessarily need to be communicated verbally. When it comes to consent education, verbal consent is often emphasized because it's the clearest and least ambiguous form and thus the most ideal for people who don't know each other well. But many people still often or even exclusively use nonverbal consent. As long as the signals are clear that's perfectly fine.
Some signs of nonverbal consent can include: undressing, touching the other person sensually, nodding, enthusiastic body language, moving closer to the other person, guiding the other person's hands over their body, indicating the other person should follow them to a more private location, a bedroom, etc.
Some examples of body language that indicate they are not consenting can include: pointedly ignoring the other person, brushing or shaking them off, avoiding eye contact, freezing or stiffening up, trying to put distance between themselves and the other person, trying to leave, closed-off body language, crying, etc.
If you're ever unsure whether the signals the person is sending you are consent or not, checking in verbally is a good way to make sure, but as you can see it is still quite possible and common to communicate consent without saying anything.
We watched this in class at school. I really liked it !
Reading some of the comments, it seems there might be some people who have a cup of hot water and can't figure out what to put in it, let alone who to serve it to and when! :)
LOL
Great video, my class loved this. live.laugh.love.
I could go to London, head to Buckingham Palace, and dig a hole in it to grab a handful of dirt that has been in the British Isles since before a human being ever stepped foot onto it, and it would be less British than this video.
One thing the video missed. If someone makes you tea and you accept it and voluntarily drink it but then change your mind AFTER already drinking it, that doesn’t mean you can spit the tea back out at them or accuse them of forcing the tea upon them when you actually accepted it.
It depends on the situation but people can change their mind even if they drank the tea. They don’t have to fully drink the tea if they don’t want to. They can drink as much as they want to and if they don’t want more that’s okay. You shouldn’t get mad at them for not wanting to drink all of your tea
Nobody is claiming r^pe after they consented, unless.... A. that consent was coerced, B. they told you to stop mid act and you didn't stop, or C. they consented to a specific kind of sex, but you did other things they didn't consent to.
If this goes viral, offering or asking for a cup of tea (really just a cup tea) will become something quite tricky ;-)
Patrick from NZ whom I met in Rome and showed me this, thank you!