Queer Bullying Victims Sit Down with Former Bullies | them.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ต.ค. 2017
- In partnership with Narrative4, we asked queer people who are victims of bullying to have a conversation with queer people who are former bullies - opening up a difficult but heartfelt dialogue about the long-term effects of depression, internalized hatred, and policing within our community.
Queer Bullying Victims Sit Down with Former Bullies | them. - บันเทิง
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I was under the impression that they were sitting down with THEIR bullies, not just random people who were also bullies.
Same here. This would have been an incredible video if that had been the case.
Same
Right ?! They did that on purpose for more views.
Same here & great pity it's not.
Me too!
i hate how similar these narratives are, in terms of the places they felt unsafe, suicidal thoughts, missing school or dropping out.
The one who said he ended up "capitalizing" on the things that made him different meant that he became a model. The entire video I kept thinking, "Man, he is gorgeous!".
Because of makeup
I thought I'd seen him before
He's really beautiful with or without makeup tbh. 😍
Shut up
ladyshkspre who me
The guy in the turtleneck is absolutely gorgeous.
They all are, but he has such beautiful eyes.
Also the person in the bandana and hoop earrings 😍
Astrid Wagner he was on americas next top model
Astrid Wagner you’re welcome I was the 100th like 😂😂
I agree but don't use masculine pronouns. They identify as queer.
My Art Page IKR OMG SO BEAUTIFUL
cory has the most beautiful eyes i’ve ever seen
mikayla he was on Americas next top model
Skeletons/In/My/Paper/Closet I knew it😂 I was like I've seen this dude before
Everlove ly yeah! He's super gorgeous, tho he shouldn't have went home :/
Yes, just yes
He’s such a gorgeous person tbh
I love how the victims were so quick to reassure the bullies. They saw that they hated themselves far more then the victims ever could hate them. They had a right to hate them but them after all they done but they choose the opposite instantly.
overgrow00 ok then I'm very sure that's true based on this graph that is made up and doesn't exist nor does any evidence ever suggesting gays are more likely to be bullies in fact it's usually the opposite
overgrow00 ok an example please I need to be enlightened with your ground breaking genius evidence to support this opinion
overgrow00 u srsly gonna tell me all gay people are bullies and not have any evidence to support your reason for this opinion (religion cannot be counted as a reason as it is a belief therefore it is not fact until proven by science)
that person with the black bandana and hoops is just soooo beautiful I literally can't
J. C. Is it just me or is she giving Anna Kendrick vibes?
J. C.
They’re so pretty!
SO PRETTY!
J. C. Are you blind?
Vegan Sabbath Are you?
Please add captions to your videos, or allow for users to submit captions! These are such important videos; all should be able to access them!
Jason Eaton there are caption menus
there are only auto-captions, which are unreliable in their accuracy and leave out a lot of audio information beyond speech
Jason Eaton yess every video needs captions. I'm not deaf but I have trouble understanding what people are saying due to my illness my comprehension is really bad
Jason Eaton iiiii
I'm so happy that my school is super open about sexuality and gender. A lot of the students even seem too praise queers.. the teachers also couldn't be bothered.. it's just nice to see how my school is so excepting with race, gender, sexuality, religion and stuff like that
Bloody Crowley・King Of Hell ~Kiriko~ Mine too xx My school even have constant events for acceptance (such as purple day to accept the lgbtq+ community). It's greaaaaat
COMPLETE opposite here, wish i could go there and never come back
*accepting. sorry had to correct this, cuz the meaning got really way opposite with what you are trying to say. cheers
bima satria lol, you're right, thanks
Bloody Crowley・King Of Hell ~Kiriko~ lucky, I can’t go a day without hearing someone use gay as an insult
I find that a lot of people who have been bullied tend to be very kind because they have a very deep understanding of what it means to not be accepted and how painful that can be. I was bullied my entire school life but one of the things that came out of it for me personally is the ability to make friends with all types of people no matter what they look like.
Ok but why teachers and head masters in America are so careless about these things
Vabenee vaabeene Exactly. That extreme level of bullying doesn’t occur in the rest of the west world
cause they homophobic too and their thought process is basically “well dont act so gay and they wont bother u”(legit something i was told in MIDDLE SCHOOL)
Malaysian teachers and headmasters too, in fact, they appear to be more homophobic than the bullies themselves
My defense mechanism has always been to make people scared to speak to me because I'm really afraid of being bullied like I was in middle School
Tolerating Tate the majority of my class mates thought I couldn’t speak until it became mandatory to do speech’s. My best friend now thought I was mean just because of the stares I would give people. Now I’m a loud, happy and me. It’s not because I came out to people it’s because I finally came out to myself, I decided that no matter what others did to me I was going to be me. The rest like a wise queen once said would be “ water off a ducks back,”(jinkx monsoon)
I think I do too, haven’t realised it till’ now tho..
I used to be like you. I dominated others because I feared being taken advantage of. I yelled at people. I was stubborn and loud. Even violent if need be. All to appear tough and to protect myself.
It wasn't until a long time later until I realized the damage I had done to my relationships. I nearly lost some of my most loyal friends because we disagreed on something and I lost my temper with them. People thought I was unfriendly and intimidating. One guy i worked with was even suprised that I was cooperative during groupwork because he probably had this impression of me that I was scary and demanding, when I don't usually intend to come off that way. The worst part of all of this is that I nearly lost my ability to empathize with other people.
Still trying my best to change for the better. I've been scared for too long. I need to start being kind to others again. The world might be cruel and unkind, but that doesn't mean that I have to be.
Same, I wore a permanent scowl, bcs people bullied me when i was a little kid. Whenever i started a new year they tried it again , but since I always acted so aggressively and had "reputation" built on being hostile and sometimes beating ppl who pissed me off, ppl were kinda scared to aproach me... not very good cause u end up alone. I've changed now, I'm not as aggressive and unpleasant as I used to be, after a lot of years in therapy.
why doesnt this have more views
Jay Marx I completely agree.
true tho. Its such a powerful message
Jay Marx right
Because the world is trash.
There are so many channels like this popping up recently if you aren't already aware.
_But it's the year 2018! We are all so accepting! No one is homophobic anymore! We all love gay people! Why are you afraid of coming out! It's not like anyone would care!_
Things like these are still happening. Homophobia isn't over over. I hope cishet people understand that.
Stay strong tho! We'll get through that.
Quiet Ky I fell under this illusion when I moved cities. Ive always been v closeted so the backlash of being found out was something Id almost tricked myself into thinking wouldnt happen after high school until it did. I didnt expect for homophobic bullying to continue beyond my teenage years, like I knew it happened to people, but I didnt expect it to happen to me. I didnt expect to be laughed at, ridiculed, called dirty, sinful, ungodly, or have people question my identity or childhood experiences. But its also really heartwarming to see that the bullies often have their own reasons and often carry regrets for it. The fact a lot of bullies of lgbt+ people are also gay is something I also found touching and made sense
I could not down that argument with three letters: WBC, if u don’t know look it up
The first several pages of results on google all said 'white blood cell' for every result, im a little confused?
DaisyDrawsStuff probably meant WBBC
MY family is
i dont know their name but the bullied person who was wearing the blue dress and makeup is?? gorgeous??
Teagan
"Im telling them "you're gonna be nice to gay people"" - You should tell them, "be nice to people, however they are."
No.
omfg piss off
???
I think what moonbeeps means is that we should be nice to everyone. People can be mean to 'normal people' too. Just because you are nice to gay people, doesn't mean you are a good person. That's like "I'm gonna be nice to you because you're different".
Leo Joey, why? They have a point. A really good one in fact.
Bullying sucks so much, its why i hated middle school so much. And being pan is also really hard. people called me really mean names in the hall when my girlfriend and i would hold hands last year and it was my first year in high school so that was really hard on me.
Anja i am so sorry
These poor people, as a young lesbian in highschool, I get bullied. However, these people have had it so much worse. I don't know how anyone could be so horrible.
@roseelizabeth8911 how are you doing now?
_Am I the only one that knows that Cory is from ANTM 2.0?_
* TheyyAdoreeBreBre * I thought I knew him from somewhere 😅😅
I knew instantly!!!!
I recognized him from the thumbnail.
You know what sucks the most about bullying? It's that everyone says it's just a phase, that if you endure it for a few years, everything will be okay. But it's not. People mess with your head, your emotions, even your identity. You feel so broken, you skip classes, your grades starts to get bad, and some kids just can't take it and drop out. If they don't end up killing themselves that is. Your whole life is ruined just because some problematic teenager can't control their anger.
That's what really sucks.
I used to be very homophobic. My dad's like a conservative pastor and being so obviously gay since young (I'm slightly bi but you get the point) , I denied my identity by hating it and as such, really got disgusted at the idea of homosexuality as a whole.
Of course I was called gay and a bunch of other things and obviously, no one ever stood up, be it in school or church. My parents would never have helped me in the right way and would have probably tried to make me more masculine.
That's why I learnt to stand up for myself. I'm honestly thankful God made me this way. I became so much more accepting and calmer as a result of my experiences in life.
Even if I had a choice, I wouldn't change who I am. There are no ifs or buts in God's world and I'm learning everyday and I'm happy the way I am. Be yourself, God made you this way for a reason.
Finally someone who doesn’t ignore their religion for their delusion
Bradley Caine Ya’ll honestly so toxic to religious people it shows
@@blesstansonyeondan wtf are you talking about. They just said they were bi and religious
I respect you with all my heart,
They are all so freaking beautiful.
I'm crying.
And I want to hug them.
No you don’t want to hug them. Cause ur gonna be waiting a while, I’ll be there hugging them all first.
I went through the same as a student and an adult. Life is hard, I'm still waiting for acceptance, i just embrace the people who love me for who I am.
everyone is beautiful
I don’t know you, but I accept you. I too am LGBTQ+ and not accepted.
This would have been better it the people got to speak with the actual people who bullied them.
I bullied a girl in elementary school together with a friend of mine and to this day I don't know why I even did it. I didn't even had a personal problem with her, I guess it just made me feel powerful.
We were nice to her somtimes and during these times she tried to be our friend, because she didn't had anyone else. But then we started to be very mean again.
I told her I'm sorry when I found her on Facebook about four years later and we talked a bit and she said it's okay.
My friend regrets it also, but as far as I know I she never spoke with the girl again.
So whatever, don't bully.
fre439 this was a great comment. I had a similar experience. I was a bully & was bullied. It’s odd.
Good on you for taking accountability and fronting up to what you've done. I love that you reached out to the girl and apologised for everything. I have so much respect and admiration for you.
I was bullied for almost my entire school life but in high school things change, It didn't get better I just got tired of being the victim, I started to fight back, I took self defense lessons and I stopped being afraid, when my bullies saw I wasn't willing to keep taking it they let me alone
I just want them. to know that you guys have the potential to be a powerful media force for this generations LGBTQ community.
As I watch this I have high school flashbacks and I’m holding back tears😢😓 it’s just so painful. I relate with the victims way too much.
Pain. So much pain in this video. What kind of world are we living in where people are tormented for being who they are?
This video literally made me cry. I loved it though. I can relate to some of the things they talked about and it's just so sad. I'm not out to my family yet, only most of my friends know. I'm not cis, nor straight, nor allo and I'm not monogamous either. I think that's a lot of explaining to my family and I don't know if they'd get it honestly. I love your channel
Narrative4 and them:I appreciate everyone who shared their ,(heartbreaking and unfortunately, familiar), but I did expect seeing the former bullies of the guests. (I think that a few of the viewers expected this.) The title of the video,(briefly), throws off the expectation and impact. But thank you for creating and posting this.
Went through this same thing in Oklahoma!!! All the same people in OK came out, but I am not as big of a person to forgive them. Congrats to you all. Way to go.
Cory is amazing
This needs more views
Each one of these beautiful, incredible and brave people - I love and admire you so much! Your courage and heart in the midst of such evil is beyond words. Keep speaking out - this world needs you! 💙💜💙💙💜😂
this needs more views, i would love to be apart of these videos
Cory and reny would make a hot couple
They all look so futuristic😳
Tia No dear god ... no.
Tia No Some really do look like they belong in some sort of sci-fi setting, don't they? In a good way of course-- they're all quite attractive
They do, it’s a bit intimidating. Because they’re so attractive yet so unique. I feel like their wardrobes would put mine to shame
I have worked at my job for almost 7 years now & in that time, we have had a lot of employees & managers who were gay, lesbian & a couple of transgenders and honestly they are some of the sweetest, genuine, most down to earth people I've ever met. I wish that this world didn't have so many hateful, narrowminded & judgemental people. Nobody deserves to be bullied.
The man with the higher voice is so gorgeous. Everything about him is on point. I wish everyone who is struggling with being themeselves all the best in life. Only God can judge you and HE loves ALL. You aren’t alone x
The person in the winged eyeliner and black bandana 💕💕 so gorgeous
Just bc he’s like that smh
The worst part is that Teachers know and see what is going on and then do nothing. Then those same teachers demand respect.
The answer is a ZeroTollerance policy on bullying. First offense requires a 3 day expulsion and to go back, the bully must write a 500 word essay that explains why bullies bully. It must demonstrate that they understand words like deflecting. Or they can't come back to bully other people. ZERO Tollerance policy is a must.
They are wonderful people and it hurts to watch this and hear about the pain they experienced. It’s important to stand up against bullies!
Y'all beautiful, we all are in our own ways. I never used to understand why or how people could be so cruel to each other but then as you grow up you realise a lot of the time people are just distracting themselves or others from how they are feeling about themselves or because of their own suffering. not that it excuses it at all. Even if we are hurting it's not okay to make others feel that way. We are all responsible for our own actions. I'm fat and people have ridiculed me since high school - it used to hurt me back then but now I use it as my shield.. yes I am fat if you have a problem with it that's your issue to deal with. When you love and accept yourself you start to pity those that can't see past their own prejudices.
I can feel you guys, same as me bullies never get away from this.
OMG IS THAT THE GUY FROM ANTM!?!?
Miggi Angeles Yes it is
Which one?
xoxo143 Turtleneck
I thought that!!
This like totally made me cry, I'm balling my eyes out...I can relate to this as a victim of bullying.
I want to give them all hugs and let them know it’s okay, I don’t even know them but I love them so much 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️
Why don't they show these types of videos in schools?!? There should be an entire curriculum dedicated to this topic.
Preferably by no later than 5th grade but before middle school
Does anyone know Corey's instagram?
all of these people and their stories are so beautiful. i had goosebumps the whole time watching this.
Thank you all for sharing your stories. Beautiful.
Cory was my favorite contestant on America's Next Top Model. He was and still is beyond gorgeous
I was so moved by this video.
Most of the incidents here happened to me and what bullies fail to realise until later is that they are ruining someone’s life be their victim gay or straight. I was bullied for twenty plus years and let me tell you I am but a shell of a man because of it. I have no self confidence or self esteem and I’m now painfully shy even at 47.
What did I do?
I wrote a book that, if published, will help people if they find themselves in the same situation.
This video is a brilliant exercise and I only wish I could have done this.
Gary Haines 20 years? That is highly unusual, and indicates that it followed you around. Did you seek treatment or help for whatever it was about you which attracted bullies? Sometimes it IS us, and we won't get better unless we acknowledge that possibility.
I saw a similar video from buzzfeed i think earlier this year i love these!! God they make me cry so damn hard. JP BRAMMER if you are reading this i follow you on Instagram and LOVE your articles!!!😍😍😍
The gay guy in the beard is so cute
La Mexicana hey
THIS NEED A PART 2
I was in a similar boat in private middle school. It got better towards the end, but i was hard. I was so despite to fit in and be a perfect girl that I was just a fake person. I was in make up, I was in pink, dresses, ext. It was very hard and eventually told one girl that I thought I was gay, and she told the volleyball team, and them they told everyone else. People wouldn't even look at me the same way after it got out. People told me I was going to hell, the called me gross, disgusting, and a few girls even called me, "A little girl molester." I was told by the girls to go sit with the boys at lunch because they didn't want me to have a crush on them. The boys didn't want me to sit with them either. Eventually I told my parents that I'm a lesbian, and they denied it to my face. They said that I was "too young" to know, and that they thought I had crushes on buys before. So I know where you guys are coming from, but definitely not to the extent of the bullying you went through. It's just nice to know that we're not alone.
Being bisexual I relate so much to these people. I faced suicidal thoughts, self harm and eating disorders but I’m finally becoming myself. And that’s pretty damn amazing
I would never do this. If I saw one of my bullies again and they said sorry I would punch them right in the face. I don't forgive and I don't forget.
This isn't them and their bullies, it's them and people who used to bully people at school.
This is beautiful
It annoys me when people are put down because they're gay, bi, trans, asexual, or anything else. I am a girl, and I have a beautiful girlfriend who goes through constant ridicule because she is bi, and is open about it. Her little brother who is in like fourth grade calls her the f-slur, and I can't be there for her all the time, and it hurts. I can't come out to my parents without worrying that I will be vocally, abused, and put down by them, or physically by my brother. It sucks, but I know things will get better for us. A few more years until we can move out, and be whoever we want
How r u doing now
Love the video, and love this channel! The title is a tad bit misleading, though, just gotta say. It's less "queer people confront their bullies" and more "queer people who were bullied confront other queer people who have had trouble with internalized homophobia/transphobia".
But I get that that's a whole other set of issues to unpack and maybe doesn't lend itself to a great TH-cam video title. Also, I think I'm just arguing with myself in public at this point. #messy
i was looking at the thumbnail and i was like:
“omg who would every bully them they’re so prett- WAIT IS THAT COREY?!”
spicy peach so ugly people deserve to get bullied?
Someone In The Comments
Shut up. :)
lone raindrop no :)
YOU CAN TELL THE CHICK IN THE YELLOW HAS ALBINISM JUST LIKE ME :DD
M I X E D N U T S That's so great! I'm blind. So, it's cool to see some representation of a person with a visual impairment.
Rilee how are you reading that and writing that if you're blind I'm so confused
Iona Peters sarcasm
Iona Peters y a l l need to realise that being blindd doesnt mean you cant see anything
M I X E D N U T S and also there are a lot of text to speech devices blind people can use to help them write and read online.
I hate bullies. This is so heart breaking.
I'm happy you guys got Cory on here. Loved him since ANTM
the girl with the bandana is so gorgeous. jesus christ. 👀💥💕💌
i think drag queens still identify as men, I could be wrong though, he could be trans
Omg I thought the same @juicy cheese!!!! She's stunning! My lesbian heart cannot handle I'm so in love 💞💞💞 I hope she feels ethereal every single day of her life. 💞 :') Trans women are so powerful and wonderful and their existences are pure love 💞
they're still gorgeous
That one guy really looked like Jude Law whoah!
I wish I was with them in that period of time so i could embrace them and comfort them
Middle school was the darkest time in my life, I was bullied for acting gay and being quite. I literally ate by myself at lunch and guys walk up to me and call me derogatory names. Even my so called “friends” w]would be like “you’re so gay” when I showed the slightest bit of myself to them while the same time they wondered why I was shy. I had so much horrible experiences that it affects me till this day
I still cant tell if im queer, transgender, or just bisexual._.
MissyMuffin bruh
Isn't cory the one that got his head shaved on ANTM?
I just want to hug them and tell them they are loved.😪
feel bad for these people. I feel like it depends on where you live that the severe bullying happens. A lot of times at my school if a football player or the football player group saw someone being mean to anyone they would kind of step in and tell them to stop.
i am trans but don’t enjoy being called queer. i don’t get why you would enjoy being called ‘weird/strange’ after being called queer your whole life by bullies.
I read a very good analogy that compared the word queer with a sword. I call myself queer because I do not want people who would deny me and my personhood based on my sexuality and expression of gender to have the sword. I'm taking it away from them, it's my sword now. I agree that people who do not want to be called queer shouldn't be referred to as queer, but I'm not giving back that sword
Umm i give it to the bullies that they had courage to come out and be honest but hoenstly idk I cant stand people who using being hateful as a defense mechanism but its ok they live and learn and try to be better which is ok
My dad and some of my teachers were my biggest bullies !
Learn to forget, learn to forgive !
I really hope their bullies see this and feel like crap for a long time. More than that, I want them to make amends with these people. Also, John Paul Brammer is a national treasure (they all are) but I follow JP on twitter and I cannot wait to read the book he’s writing.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Wait, these aren't THEIR bullies? Just random bullies?
Still Fight! Still Fight! Still Fight!
I hate the word "bully". It makes something so serious sound child like... it should be labelled abuse because that's what it is
I agree
“I was pushed to not even want to speak” I have never related more to anything.
I work with gay teens and often tell them that the more someone makes fun of their queerness, the higher the chances are of that bully being queer.
The same principle applies to anti-gay politicians.
And then they were roommaathes...
shocklett oh my god they were roommates
I get it
omg they were roomaathes
The person in the gray sweater is absolutely beautiful, stunning rather.
The women with wearing a headband is so wonderful! I feel like she’s so sweet and definitely beautiful
If you're being bullied I highly recommend watching CARRIE (1976) ROMY and MICHELE'S high school reunion (1997) those 2 movies changed my life!
♡♡♡
Ummmm holdup... can we just talk about how beautiful Cory is??
What I don’t understand is why teachers don’t do anything in these situations? If I ever caught a bully doing anything like this I’d drag them out of the school & insist their parents were held accountable for their children’s abusive behaviour.
Because most of the teachers blame the bullied kids
This is so freaking relatable.
Wtf is with the American school system
This seems very New England-y
Why ie that??
I love and respect them so much ❤. They were bullied and they survived! I was bullied too, because of my look, because of my acne and because I did not had money for cool clothes. I felt really bad, because of that and my parents had no idea about that. But after years I feel better, stronger and I don't give a f**k what other people say! We're all beautifull ❤🦄!
(Sorry for my English, it's not my native launguage 😅)
people find any reason to bully somebody, but the outcome is always the same. hurt, and wanting to end your life or someone elses. i was bullied horribly just for being shorter and having long hair and being a metal head. i was jumped so many times for literally no reason and going through that every day does so much to someone and changes them. it could be for the better, but this is also what makes people into animals, killers. give everyone a chance and if you dont like them or each other, just don't interact with them.
there are soo many gay/bi/pans/trans/a/demi/etc. people in my school and i love that this generation doesnt get bullied for that as much
Emma Black well outside of your school we do get bullied
Emma Black em we do...maybe not so blatantly but we definitely do, as someone who is still ‘straight’ to most of my school I am in their chats and groups I hear them say homophobic things. Just because you don’t hear it doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking or saying it. But when I say something about it to them it’s alright...because it’s just a joke. Actually so done with society’s ignorance today, don’t see why people still have these opinions and I hope my generations kids don’t have to grow up with it but I think they will because parents are just going to pass it done the line just like racism, misogyny, transphobia etc
remy is so adorable
Girl he's so annoying on twitter
Alex S what's his twitter?
Cory is my all time favorite! I watched him on antm and I love how he's getting so much attention
They called me weirdo, ugly, worthless, skeleton, garbage, loser. They laughed at me. They threw stuff at me. They locked me in a locker. One time a guy choked me on my way home. I’m a heterosexual white woman. I just wasn’t pretty or normal enough. So I can’t even imagine the hell a gay/trans person goes through. I think they have it even worse. Bullying has an impact on my whole life even 15 years later.