RPG War Stories - The Bonesaw
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2018
- Recounting the most awesome and most annoying magic sword in our tabletop adventures.
Find some nerdly Bonesaw shirts here: teespring.com/stores/seth-sko...
Guest Starring Jack the NPC.
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New life goal acquired: Become drunk enough at a renaissance fair to become possessed by the Bonesaw.
"that is my next NPC" is the greatest response
I especially liked the one where everyone said how cool I am... that was the really good part. You must have missed it. Probably went to the bathroom right then... it happens sometimes. Yeah... all the ones about how cool I am were just the best. You should check them out.
@@thebonesaw..4634 SQUEEEEEE! It's him! It's him! Can I have your autograph, sir? Also, if I get a couple of wenches to join us, will you show us just what you do with three wenches, please, because the curiosity is killing me.
THROUGH THE BONEEEEEE
ZZT!
THROUGH HIS NECCCCKKKKKK!!!
Zzzt THROUGH THE NECK
Reminds me of those old StrongBad videos.
I will now have the next big villain of my campaign be a corrupt noble named Scott Brown who wields an intelligent sword called the bonesaw.
Word?
@@Seth9809 word
Who is this Scott Brown? I've never heard of him. Is he cool? I don't hang out with people who aren't cool.
While screaming 'for thor'!
@@brandongordin2792 Good lord... Acolyte of Thor Odinson, Scott "Peanuthead" Brown.
Bonesaw: "zzt THROUGH THE BONE"
Me: *scribbling in notes for future campaigns* "WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN"
I want to say that I may have personal knowledge of the "BoneSaw" individual at the Texas Renaissance Festival. The description sounds really familiar, and it fits the timeline when I was working there.
How much can you tell?
@@gmradio2436 About “The BoneSaw”? Not much, this would have been more than 15-20 years ago. But it really sounds familiar!
But oh, I can go on for hours, about the stuff that I do remember, and some of the things my friends and I got in to!I will start with painting a broad picture of my years at The Texas Renaissance Festival.
I worked at the same shop from 1998 - about 2013. The thing is, I didn’t camp in the participant’s camping very often, I kept camping with my friends in Payton’s camping. Up until about 2008 or so, patron’s camping was the place to be, before the camp was invaded by the techno club kids it was like being in what was described in some campaign stories. If you heard music playing in camp, it was because someone bought a CD from a performance group in Fair, or they were playing their own instruments.
There was a LOT of drinking involved, I mean a serious amount! As for drug use, it was not a serious concern, then. There was the obligatory pot waft that made people sit up as if they had just heard a noise. Occasionally, there was someone who was on a trip, be it LSD, or shrooms. But it was all concentual.
After about 2010, the “Old Guard” as I call them, began to see the “Invaders” coming in, and the atmosphere changed. Since 2000(ish) there had been a police presence in the CG ( campground), but it had been 3-5 guys on four-wheelers driving around making sure people were not killing each other. Then suddenly, the camp theft became a problem, people began getting dosed with out their knowledge, it became necessary to an entire security team from the local and regional police departments, EMS needed to have a presence on site. In general, it was not as safe as it was before.
Hit me up if you want more. I have years of stories. Most of them are light hearted and funny, ( at least they are to me.)
@@NTovaar I don't know where to start. I eant to say the time you met Bonesaw, but where ever you want is fine. Do I have permission to repost these?
A sword with the spirit of Macho Man Randy Savage ooooooohhh yeeaah !!!
It needs the slim jims
But the cream will rise to the top oooh yeah!!!
That is GOLD!
Ooooooh yeah the cream. The cream rises. The cream rises to the top yeah
more like the Doc Gallows character of Sex Ferguson as a sword.
Oh gods, please make this a regular segment. This is gold.
I agree!
I didn't like it... I felt like he didn't spend enough time talking about The Bonesaw.
These stories are the best. Yes please make these regular segments. You do a great job of storytelling.
The Bonesaw. How topical. Is this an adventure in Turkey?
Agreed, Derek, i think that the most useful information comes from experienced DM's and players sharing what was important to them, instead of just cherry picking something through a process of elimination where other people have little or no input on what is included. You never really know what experiences you had that might be game changing to some one else until you actually try to share them. So don't be stingy -make sure to share a lot! That is how we have to do it :)
Clearly the one person who disliked this video is a fire giant.
RIGHT THROUGH HIS NECK!!!!
@@NightWatchersPet Through the bone!
ZZZT!
.......and their clan.
One reason I miss the dislike count is comments like this.
"I very quietly draw my sword..."
Oh, I hurt myself, trying to hold in my laughter, because my sisters are asleep, and then I started hyperventilating, and got all dizzy, and good thing I was sitting down, because the Bonesaw is EPIC!
15 minutes before his showing a Scott Brown agent stepped into a dimly lit room in the back of the property he was about to sell. The only thing visible in the small room was a short bureau with an ancient looking sword and scabbard resting on a simple wooden stand.
With no time to spruce up the room the Scott Brown agent did the only thing he could. He reached out for the sword, ready to toss it in the dumpster out back. As he turned to leave the room he heard a voice.
"RIGHT THROUGH HIS...wait. you're not peanut head. Who are you, stranger with a firm grip?"
"I'm with Scott Brown, mother fucker. I got a showing!"
"I dub the peanut head. Did I ever tell you about the fire giant, peanut head?"
Ever heard of Excalibur from Soul Eater? He's the ultimate weapon, anyone who wields him is pretty much invincible... except he's totally infuriating, he has an insanely LOONG list of rules he expects his wielder to follow, he tells self-indulgent incomplete stories, he loves to call everyone around him "FOOL!" and then there's the singing.
♫ Excalibur ! Excalibur! From the United Kingdom! I'm looking for Heaven! I'm going to California!♫
Doesn't sound very invincible to me. Cool swords don't go around singing. He sounds like a real fruit. Does he even have a Peanut Head? Can't be cool without a top class Peanut Head... it's in our bylaws originally laid down in our charter. I'm looking at a copy of them right now. They're pretty specific... No singing... can't act like a fruit... and can't be cool without a worthy Peanut Head. You guys should just forget that Excallywhatever, and spend more time talking about me, and how cool I am. That's how you get the babes. Nobody ever picked up the babes while they were singing... that's just stupid.
@@AuntLoopy123 - Yer god-damned right!
One of the things that forever puts me off of watching the Soul Eater anime is that Excalibur became a recurring character. I don't care how good the show is, I can't take that much of him, I'm sorry.
FOOL!
Last night's session I made a sword inspired by the Bonesaw and I'm excited about it. It's a flametongue great sword named Dirty Dan. In life, Dirty Dan was a thief, a gambler, and an all around scumbag but sold his body to the mages college (after he dies) because he was down on luck. The time came and his corpse was given to the college and they took his essence and imbued it into a sword as kind of a prototype weapon to see if the enchantment would work. So when my player ignites the blade, Dirty Dan comes alive and starts telling the most awful stories of the terrible things he did in life and the sword won't shut up until he sheathes the blade. It's fun stuff.
I used THE BONESAW tonight. It sang My Heart Will Go On, with better lyrics. My players hate me. What a legend.
I used Scott Brown in my stars without number campaign. Made him a real estate agent and everything. Freaked them right out. I've never seen a group of PCs act so well behaved
Sounds more like a Troika! NPC.
Another edition to the legend of The Bonesaw: I probably have some of the details of this mixed up, but the important thing to note was that we once had a Spider Rider in our party. And, I think it was because we had this spider in our party and the fact that we later ran into a lesser god who could speak to it (the spider) that we were informed that this god could also hear The Bonesaw (I think it was because that god could speak and hear in the ethereal). Whatever the reason, this is where we learned that The Bonesaw's scabbard merely silenced his voice from being heard by those within his vicinity, it *DID NOT* shut him up (of course it didn't... he's the fucking Bonesaw). So, The Bonesaw spends every moment of his existence telling that Peanut Head story over and over and over... and over... and over again _ad infinitum._ This is why, whenever he is unsheathed (even upon finding him for the "first" time), he's always in the middle of telling that story. And it's hilarious every... single... goddamned time it happens.
The Bonesaw's occasional "Zzzt!" was a nice touch. Hahahahaaaa!
Not to the people I did it too.
Cuz the Bonesaw, ya know what it does? It cuts through booooone! zzzzt!
You're damned right I do! I like you, new Peanut Head... how would you like to go on an adventure?
Really digging the war story posts. Thank you again.
And the academy award for best supporting actor goes to.. The Bonesaw! That is THE BEST STORY ABOUT A MAGIC SWORD EVER! I laughed so hard when I heard what you did with that random guy from a Renaissance fair. It reminds me of Torgue from Borderlands 2. Best supporting character; annoying, but too good to let go.
Great story Seth! Thanks for sharing it with us. It really brightens my day.
So... where do I pick up my award? Do you mail it to me or... ?
you know the bone saw is makeing me think of a wrestling character.
It was the name of the wrestler Peter Parker fights in the first Spiderman movie.
Played by none other than Macho Man Randy Savage.
Trust me when I tell you... I came first! Also, I don't separate my name like that... because I'm not pretentious... or human, but that's another story.
@@RedQueensAce Was it? I feel like I should have known that, Macho Man Savage is the only wrestler I can recognize.
The Bonesaw is a gift to this Earth. Or whatever reality or existence it comes from.
The Bonesaw ..
This made me laugh harder than it should have. XD
Kudos to you, friend. 👍
... so... no neck then? (sigh) I hate the smart ones...
He was from beyond this neck of the woods... and then Zzzt! RIGHT THROUGH THE NECK!!
I would love to see "Jack the NPC" from "Call of Cthulu" finding "The Bonesaw".
Maybe he will finaly go insane?
And you thought people would find war stories boring.
I think I'll have The Bonesaw and Peanuthead as an NPC fighter duo that occasionally turn up in towns or dungeons ahead of the PCs (so that they always discover them while The Bonesaw is telling Peanuthead the fire giant story).
I love these War Stories. This other channel I listen to, Spoony, he has a segment called Counter Monkey, where its just him rambling about rpg stories and I always liked it. He got the name Counter Monkey, because when he worked in a game store, thats what they called the people who would hang around the counter and just keep telling their D&D stories lol
"I hurl a vile of acid in his face!"
@@RipOffProductionsLLC The Chicago Way, classic
@@oz_jones I can't see my own comment, and I don't remember what I said...
Express permission for creative thievery. I love it. XD
Sure... just have your people get in touch with my people. Of course, if I don't respond it's probably because I'm being held prisoner inside a stupid scabbard. Damn it stinks in here... I hope that's not me that smells like that.
So I want you to know something. I was setting up an epic level one shot because most games never make it to the double digits in my group and a player wanted to know what it was like. While setting up the game they asked me if I would put any limits on magic items.
After thinking about it I told them no, but if I felt it was too strong I would make it an intelligent magic item that could talk.
"That doesn't sound so bad."
"And his name will be THE BONESAW OH YEAH"
"Huh?"
I then linked them to this video. I'd like to say that is how I managed to make them show caution in what they equipped.
But one player overheard this and said "So what if I duel wield and give my character two +10 weapons?"
We laughed.
"And +10 armor, a +10 ring of deflection, a +10 amulet of natural armor"
"Hahaha yeah I wouldn't."
"I am going to call your bluff."
Laughing stops. Everyone knows except this relative newcomer that this is the worse thing you can say to me. I don't know what it is, but it is the most sure fire way to ensure I actually dig my heels in. But I manage to fight the urge to be a turd and just tell him again;
"You are making a terrible mistake."
"No way you'd do that."
Other players more experienced with the group "No seriously she will do it please stop."
"If she didn't want us having OP items she should just say so instead of thinking she is funny."
"Bitch I'm hilarious and you will quote everything I say." Dismissive, playful, but this kid is pressing all the wrong buttons.
So that is how a oneshot got derailed by Bonesaw the +10 magic longsword... and Bonecrusher, the +10 magic mace. And Bonecastle, the +10 magic suit of armor. And Fingerbone, the +10 magic ring. And Bonesmasher, the +10 strength bestowing magic belt. And Bonestomper, +10 constitution granting magic boots. And finally Ivory, a +10 charisma granting magic cloak.
They all had similar but distinct personalities.
Bonesaw was Bonesaw.
Bonecrusher was an angry shouty German who wouldn't shut up about the master race... which according to him was elves and one of the other players was a blond haired blue eyed elf who he CONSTANTLY sucked up to.
Bonecastle spoke with a pretentious British aristocratic accent and he constantly put down everyone.
Fingerbone had a cockney accent and she was constantly urging the player to steal.
Bonesmasher sounded like a dumb ogre and constantly urged the player to break things.
Bonestomper was Russian and wanted to teach the player to Cossack dance.
Ivory was a valley girl and she would get VERY upset if she thought there was any chance she might get dirty.
None of them liked each other.
None of them liked each other and made sure everyone knew it.
It was text based, so every one of my posts was filled with seven magic items yelling at each other.
Most NPCs just freaked out and ran. The few that did hear this cacophony were still really annoyed.
The player, a cleric, constantly was casting silence on himself.
Mission accomplished I guess. Wish I could say he or I thought it was funny. But the other three players thought it was hilarious and apparently now greet the new kid with
"THROUGH THE BONE"
"NEIN NEIN NEIN RESPECT ZE LJOSALFAR WITH HER PERFECT BLOND HAIR AND BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES FOLLOW HER PLAN YOU FOOL"
"I do say, is that truly your plan old chap? Seems rubbish to me. Maybe you should listen to our shouty friend and do what that elven trollop suggested?"
"Oi lets beat this git and steal suma their shit, rioght? Party members smarty members, gold tis ours fer the takin'!"
"SMASH DUMB RING. DUMB RING MAKE FUN OF BONESMASHER, BONESMASHER HATE RING! BONESMASHER IS NOT 'TOSSER' BONESMASHER KNOW WHAT THAT MEAN NOW"
"It is manly dance, da? Will attract for you the women. You need all help you can get cyka blyat."
"UGH, we aren't like, going into that place are we? It looks so totally gross! I better not get splattered with icky blood again."
Hey Seth I gotta thank you for the war stories after the Scott brown story I got to thinking of how to make a memorable character in cyberpunk by the time game came round I still had nothing but I was doing a near future intro scene.
Started with friendly at a night club waiting for something. She kept getting hut on by a some nobody eventually she gets ticked off and as a joke I play "take on me" as she starts beating the carp out of him guns shots are seen from upstairs.
Fast forward to end of the session one player downstairs gets into a fight sets off a room full of explosives. The player upstairs watches as the night club owner pulls out an Uzi shooting someone so naturally I play the song again as I describe the guy getting shot as the club begins to explode.
So now after that session the moment things escalate we play that same song. A few sessions later players were worried about destroying evedince from a security system they couldn't hack after they ran out of ideas all it took was that intro music for them to grab their guns and physically destroy the massive system
Didn't get a memorable character but don't think any of can hear that song without expecting something to happen
Sounds like BONESAW IS READY
... to CUT the BONE!
Damn right I am...
Always.
I'm home with the flu and The Bonesaw made my day. Thank you, I can't wait for the next war story.
Damn, you should have warned me. I better not catch anything.
I'm dying. Breath is a thing of the past, no longer here to preserve my life. It's gone RIGHT THROUGH MY LUNGS in all of my laughter. xD
Never got through a Skorkowsky video without laughing, not one. I'm crying, bro. Crying!
"No, you've misunderstood. The sword isn't _stuck_ in the stone. We put him there intentionally."
The Bonesaw as the computer in Paranoia...
You just know that the bonesaw guy in real life is just some dude named Dave from accounting.
The acting on your face when you recalled the second unlucky dude to get the Bonesaw was absolutely spectacular. The progress from joy into recognition into dismay into resignation and frustration was astonishing.
Love Seth's videos but this, this is friggin' epic! Not just a great story but told at a whole new level. This video should have millions of views, people are truly missing out.
After this video an ad came up for a tv show, the first snippet of which was a girl practicing for an interview or something.
She goes, “Hi, I’m...” and decides against the tone, reiterating three times. By the third time my brain filled it in with, “THE BOOOONESAAAW!!!”
The best part is that the guy was most likely completely sober and just fucking around.
I love the idea in 1e that most magical swords are intelligent; I like to imagine that most of them are also entirely insane from being isolated in a treasure horde for hundreds or thousands of years.
7:30 the reflection of the ceiling fan makes the blade look like its shimmering with magic or something. :o
That was nuttier than a jar of peanut butter.
Who are you calling nuttier? Also... what does "nuttier" mean? Does it mean cool? Man, I'm learning all kinds of new words that mean cool. I need to get a thesaurus or something.
I'm stealing both of these yes.
Have one of mine if you want.
Butcher Pete (Yes like the fallout song)
He is a man of pure black skin, pink booty shorts, pink mask with devil horns, and pink combat boots. Nothing else.
He fights his enemies, the hardest ones he can find, the thickest part of the battle. Any weapon he can find. He lives for fighting. If he dies, he just comes back, rising from the middle of a good fight. If there are no good fights, he makes one.
Cultists (Peteists) dress like he does and fight like he does. Some wear masks of gray smoothness. Stone faces. They are the upper ones, the lower ones might not get masks. Some have mohawk and red masks. If they get to fight on the same field as Pete, then that is the ultimate goal really. Then fight some more.
Basically any major conflict had better have some Peteists in it or you get kicked out of Peteism.
Did something similar in my AD&D game years (and years) ago: an intelligent cursed sword that was an abject nervous coward. It would always try to convince it's owner not to get into a fight, to always hang back in a fight, and would scream like a little girl when actually used to hit someone.
"He is going to be my next NPC!"
"About one year later..."
I feel that, brother.
Scott Brown has already become a bit of a legend in our house here in the UK 😂
So basically when the Macho Man Randy Savage died, he turned into a sword. And here I am thinking that he went to the Borderlands and became Mr Torque.
@Seth Skorkowsky I'm playing the pre-launch beta of Darktide and I am totally gonna refer to my Heavy Eviscerator as the Bonesaw ROFL
"Maybe as some crazed Artificial Intelligence." That's some great foreshadowing there, Seth :p
This is fantastic, I love your stories that have come out of random events in your life
BONESAW IS READY! I GOT YOU FOR THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES OF PLAY TIME!
RIP Randy 'The Macho Man' Savage.
The taxi driver 🤣🤣🤣
I love the idea of turning random but notable weirdos you meet into NPCs.
Who are you calling a "weirdo"? Also, what does "weirdo" mean? Does it mean cool? I'll bet that's it.
Drunk random people at festivals are great! Had one guy at Rocklahoma come up and spew onto a bonfire, spin around and yell “HOLY F*** I AM AWESOME!” before scampering away... still quote that randomly to the people who were there.
At a friend's table we had a somewhat sentient (but really stupid) Rod of Negation that would scream "NOOOOOOOOOO" every once in a while specially as it was used or anytime a question was asked in its vicinity.
Please more RPG stories. I love to reminisce, and miss having a group to RPG with. This scratches an itch.
Seth, I nearly fell down stairs at a jobsite, from laughing listening to this.
Seth, in the Chult campaign that i started but my Nephew eventually took over, we didn't have a magic sword yet, like you so entertainingly describe, but i introduced a villain that scared the crap out of all my players. He would graciously say with complete affection "My Friends" and show his perfect ivory teeth contrasted against his perfect lips and ebony skin, and offer to perform a helpful service. He was a beautiful creature! His name was Reggie. But something my players quickly learned was that every time Reggie showed up was that they were going to be robbed blind, whether it was through act of intimidation, deception, or persuasion. They might as well accept his favor because he was going to rob them either way. He was extremely passive aggressive, but he preferred persuasion. That seemed to give him the most satisfaction in his fleecing of the group. My players sank into the attitude that there was no winning against Reggie -which did not have to be true. To this day, that is some of the fuel that keeps them going. They want to stop being haunted by Reggie in their nightmares and episodes of PTSD -and that was not even side effect i invented about encounters with Reggie, my players were just shaken to their core. Particularly after Reggie let some of the demons in his service parade before the adventurers. And the funny thing about it, Reggie was not a well thought out villain. I placed him there on the fly, and honestly i am quite poor at that kind of spontaneous creation. Reggie happened to be a great hit with my players, i am still not sure why, but i am sticking with him, and we have yet to see how exactly that scenario is going to unfold. But still to this day, Reggie is present enough in their minds that he ends up being mentioned every single session! And i love that! :) But Reggie was some very difficult DM work for me because i knew that i had to make them believe that they were being robbed by an NPC villain, and not just shoe-horned by a lazy DM! That aspect is challenging. At some level you have to be telling the truth to your players -even if you are shoe-horning a bit too. Don't lie to them. Don't fudge to where their trust is broken, even if it is bruised! :) EDIT: & by the way, in agreement with your excellent advice about maintaining horror: my players do not know if Reggie is actually human or not. And they don't seem to be able to conclude what would be the more horrific answer. I will let them keep guessing :)
Reminds me of Lilarcor, the talking sword from Baldur's Gate. Really good weapon but had the personality of a loud, boastful, immature idiot. I actually liked him and gave him to Minsc, who had a similar personality. They were a great team.
8:34 LMAO!! I can't get enough of these videos!
Awesome. Another great story.
The only intelligent sword my players ever got was evil. I think it was called Screamer or something as it could cast Fear and would do so by screaming at its enemies. It corrupted one character until he was killed by vampire kobolds (don't ask). When the other character he was with tried to bury the sword, it shocked him to unconsciousness when he touched it to toss it in the hole. When he awoke, he loved it. It was much later, fighting duergar when he fell and someone snatched up the sword to use it against the creatures but it refused to help the party. It was created by the duergar and wanted to return to them. He flung it in lava. Good times.
You go tell the peanuthead that THE BONESAW IS READY!!!
I come back to rehear this every six months.
The Bonesaw has made his visit into my own games, and has become a Mainstay that my players love.
My take on The Bonesaw evolved into something quite different, I started with an impression of the original bonesaw voice at first, Then I went a bit deeper and added an echo (in Imitation of Shenron; the wish granting eternal dragon), and from that the Bonesaw's evolution continued, it was less that I planned to change the Bonesaw and more that the Bonesaw acted through me. Ironically that's how the Bonesaw was forged in the first place in my incarnation, The Blade was made for a Spirit and The Bonesaw was what got in first.
Under the Incessant Jackass exterior, the spirit of the blade was actually pretty heroic, being an Artifact with the Defender Archetype, which means it has an innate desire to protect a certain group, a people or a Place. sometimes it's babbling of Insults and orders spouted words of wisdom like
"The only limit to the bones you can cut through are the bones you believe in! Put some Soul into it, Peanut Head!"
They were fighting a monster that had absolutely no bones at the time, but the Paladin Crit, so they still landed the Decap.
The blade of incredible power and even more incredible Sass has found many a peanut head in these last years, Though I owe the Success of Peanut Head-Bonesaw Symbiosis to THE Peanut Head:
Our version of The Bonesaw originated in a campaign with the Stranger Worlds Homebrew for Dragon Ball D&D.
If you haven't heard of it, I'd give Stranger Worlds a look, they have a lot of different Homebrews that can help capture the feel of different franchises in D&D.
Their Dragon Ball Books had standalone rules for Transformations, Three Extra (Dice-Based) Stats, New Spells, New Subclasses and a Lot of Flavour help as well.
We were on Planet Namek, My players were all getting a serious powerboost at or around this part of the game; to reward them for how well they'd been doing, and the way they'd already sent the plot flying off the rails.
The Wizard found the Writings of an Ancient Mage, and made a pact with a Demon Queen who'd later become his wife. (This gave him a form of his own, using Demon power to enhance his magic)
The Saiyan Monk got a Cape of billowing that also functioned to give him a Regeneration factor, and got his first Transformation in the form of Super Saiyan though it did cost his character's mother, as it only activated due to the anguish of the Villain killing her.
As is common in DnD and in Dragon Ball, She got better.
The Namekian Cleric had just joined, so his big glow up came in a little later.
But my other Original player, The Namekian Paladin (Raised on Earth, like everyone except the Cleric) who had been here as long as the Wizard, was due a serious upgrade himself, so I decided to give him a Magic Sword, and not just any Magic Sword, a Magic Sword with the Spirit of an Eternal Dragon Inside.
Thus was born The Bonesaw, Dragon's Rending Fang, Blade of Dreams, Sworn Protector of Namek.
Once Attuned to the Sword, The Paladin, who's original name was Shamisen, Took to the whole "Peanut Head" thing so amazingly that The Peanut Head mantle eclipsed his original name.
And He was rolling Supernova Hot for the rest of the session, The Bonesaw hardly got to say "Cocksuckery" at all, and when he did, it was usually in the form of an Action Quote:
"Frieza! Your Cocksuckery ends here! Through the Boooooone!"
The people of both Earth & Namek fell under the protection of The Bonesaw & Peanut Head for the better part of Two Real Life Years, and almost Three Decades ingame.
Unfortunately the greatest enemy of any campaign struck, Scheduling conflicts.
The Original Peanut Head could no longer play with the group.
But his Sendoff couldn't have been better. Originally it wasn't a sendoff at all, but since he wasn't going to be coming back any time soon, We decided to make it one: The Showdown with this particular Adventure's Grand Final Boss: The Long-Sealed, Former Hand of the Gods, Godslayer Kalt.
Kalt had already killed the Heroes and most of the Kai Hierarchy of his own time, (apart from his daughter Mizt, who was now in love with the Monk)
He'd also Almost TPK'd earlier in the fight with his strongest spell, Sunbreaker.
When it looked like they were finally going to beat him by shoving him into an alternate universe's version of his own attack (the Wizard was a master of portals), he ripped a hole in the alternate universe and absorbed some of it's Eternal Dragon Realm, becoming a huge beast made of Stars and Galaxies.
After a long final clash with just the Wizard and Paladin still standing,
The Peanut Head unleashed the full power of The Bonesaw to finish him off.
I still remember the Bonesaw's last Action Quote with him; when he landed that Dragon Fist boosted Critical + Smite
"Once more, Peanut Head, Through Time, Through Space, With your Soul, THROUGH THE BOOOOOOOOONE!"
And with that Almighty Slash and the clash of two dragons, Kalt was Dead, and the Peanut Head Vanished into Legend.
Our version of the Bonesaw is so iconic to my players that even Now I can't get away from it, Even in other systems, any magic weapon is assumed to be the Bonesaw until proven otherwise, and Not just when I DM, When they DM, the Bonesaw Still shows up.
Alongside other legends like Sad Steak the Wal-Ron (Psychic Walrus People)
the pirates Cromdo Face & Bucko Drink, Epsilonious (& Kappagon) with their 47(and counting) Dark Blue Crusades, Davenport the Gnome, Silbo Flaggins the Cybernetic Hobbit who's pretty much Bilbo Baggins if he was Also Raiden from Metal Gear Solid.
Perhaps I'll tell those tales someday, perhaps on another Video.
The bonesaw sounds like an amazing basis for a Hexblade Warlock.
Oh boy, its like the incident i had with a cursed katana all over again , everyone on the table liked that thing except the thief, who was "owned" by the sword. Long live to the bonesaw.
Short death right back at you...
"Bonesaw" is just as cool as "Jack the NPC." it would be awesome to have as players or commentators in some game!
This is the very reason why I love cursed items.
Scott Brown is the Man.
BONESAW IS READY!
Always
Rewatching this to refresh my memory so I can introduce Yhe Bonesaw to my Monday night group. Got "Amazon warrior" of an Elf fighter that I think it would be perfect for. I want to introduce Bonesaw to my Saturday group as well but that campaign is super close to its end so I'll have to wait until the next campaign with that group.
The expression when sheeting the sword.
That crazy drunk guy reminds me of the Mud Angel Maker of Motherwell.
I watch this video every couple months, something about it just really gets me laughing.
Whenever I need a good laugh to get me through the day, I turn to Seth's "War Stories".
I just had the Bonesaw cameo in the Acq. Inc champaign I'm running and my players just lost it. Thanks for sharing.
Funny that this stuff happens. Some of the most glorious adventures also have some of the most annoying NPCs or such involved.
Dear Seth, thank you so much for that story! I nearly wet myself laughing so hard at that.
SSST!
We had the shield counterpart of that sword in one of the old games I played in. It was called "The Defender".
I want a shirt that reads "I dub thee Peanut head !!!" but the other shirt is still good.
I like the second player to find the sword,his expression is priceless.(also if you look close at the blade,you can see some type of movement,ceiling fan blades?)
I send your videos out to people, and many of my old groups think that you and I are like matter/ anti-matter versions of one another, and a couple of them fear us meeting
The War Stories: Still funny after -two- three times.
Feeling down? Go see Seth and watch a couple War Stories.
Thanks for sharing these!
Dude, I'm totally stealing this!!
It truly warms my heart to see that other people watched this in March of 2020 😍
My. God. I need to use this character/item.
I finally got around to watching this one. Pure class. As to the wenches, I have read something with a female personalitied magic sword that has this thing about getting their blade oiled by well muscled young blacksmiths...
That gets me thinking... How about a Sword that is a really annoying clingy girlfriend. "Why don't you oil me more? You don't love me any more!"
Just stumbled across this channel and am spreading the wisdom of Bones saw And Peanut head. Just pure gold!
I am totally keeping the Bonesaw in mind for a future weapon in my fantasy games.
Great tale!
I'll keep you in mind too. Have you're people get in touch with my people. If I don't respond... it's probably because I'm being held prisoner inside a stupid scabbard.
I suddenly had a horrifying thought. What if The Bonesqw was a zombie virus. It a weapon in a zombie game, but the actual zombie virus itself. You end up with thousands of the Bonesaw looking to bite into that there peanut head!
I like the way you think... I think...
When the Bonesaw zombies devour your flesh, well the Bonesaw zombies cut through the bone! Zzt! THROUGH THE BONE!!!
Such a brilliant and totally almost spirutually cathartic transmogrification of an invasive douche turned into something spectacularly hysterical. Hats off good sir! Marvelous creatiion!
I'm trying to calm down. This was comedy gold! "I dub thee Peanut Head." I can't stop laughing!
Yep a cursed kybor crystal from a broken saber will have a over spoken NPC voice named Bonesaw. Thanks bro
I laughed so god damn hard xD
also seem like 3 dislikes came from previous owners of bonesaw.
Or fire giants.
Zzzzt THROUGH THE BONE!
My GM used this story in our campaign. Hilarious! I love it!😂
BoneSaw!
Yes?
This series of videos has been highly entertaining and inspirational. I laughed out loud throughout this one in particular, but it really struck home that some of the most memorable events in any campaign I ever ran (e.g., when the gods sent a white stag to lead the lost players from a forest and they killed and ate it) came from unpredictable choices, bad dice rolls or improv moments.
It’s a +3 verbal blade, when I run DND I’m definitely going to include this at some point.
Heh, Verbal
*RAGHT THREW HIS NEEEEEEEECK, PEANUT HEAD!!!*
It exists in my world now.