I don't think anyone should comment on anyone's body ever. Even if they've lost weight. You don't know how they got there. You could just be feeding into an eating disorder. Never assume weight loss is healthy. The thing is, all this attention is on body shaming but we forget that the real problem is how body-image centric our society actually is, whether our feedback is positive or negative
I actually disagree. While losing weight, encouraging remarks people would make were one of the biggest pushes to continue my weight loss. It’s hard to notice the difference on yourself, especially if you’re going a healthy route and it taking awhile but when others notice, it really helps it sink in and motivates you to continue. I have family members who weren’t even realising their sudden weight loss and after having concerns bought to attention, they were able to identify it too (the cause was from overworking/stress) and are currently in the progress of gaining weight back. Every situation is different and everyone reacts to things differently. It can cause a negative outcome but there’s a possibility of it helping too, you never know so there’s no point in tip toeing.
AM BY I 100% agree. I’ve always struggled with my weight. As an adolescent, my mom would call me names because I was overweight. So one day I said “I’ll show you. I’ll stop you from making mean comments to me” and I stopped eating. It got serious and she finally realized it. But for a long time I got “oh wow you look amazing!” “Wow you’ve lost so much weight congrats!” From her. I even tried telling her it’s not good for her to say that to me (both ways), but she didn’t stop. Until it got worse and I ended up in the hospital. I soon moved out with my then boyfriend and now ex husband, but after my divorce years later, I’ve had to move back in with her... 🙁
Why do people continue to comment on his weight? Everyone KNOWS he’s struggled with disordered eating and like you said, he hasn’t spoken about his recovery. Poor guy, I really feel for him. If you have an ED, there’s normally that inner dialogue/negative voice that goes along with it. We don’t need people to add more criticism to that loop by making fat-phobic comments.
Some people enjoy tearing others down. It's a very known fact that Shane is insecure about his body, so if you want to get to him you comment about his body.
As someone who has experienced extremely disordered eating after massive weight loss (much like Shane, I had lost more than 130 pounds at my smallest). People feel so free to comment on my body constantly. I’m currently trying to actively eat what I want without it delving into that familiar, extremely disordered territory I’m so familiar with. I am a bit larger than I was, say, a year ago and my family reminds me that I need to be careful that I don’t put it all back on. Mental health and eating disorders after such drastic weight loss are so common, but people don’t seem to be interested in looking at that narrative. They assume that you should stay at your lowest weight, no matter how you got there. Anyways, not sure what I’m trying to say, but I really feel for Shane on a personal level.
So sorry that you're on the receiving end of those comments Cait. I hope you know that is not a reflection of you, but them. And that there are people out there who don't feel that way!
So true, "they always think you should stay at your lowest weight, no matter how you got there". People just don't get it. It's like there are two strands to humanity, the normal unthinkingly'eating naturally slim, and the fat-inclined weight loss and eating disordered people. Recognising this huge gulf of misunderstanding has helped me discount the opinions of others so as to look after myself.
It's like Brittany Spears says in her song Piece of me..She's too big now she's too thin. People always want to talk about other people's weight. Someone did that to me and I told them that they looked dirtier every time I saw them and that they creeped me out because obviously they were always checking out my body because of the non stop comments.
Cait, thanks for sharing and it is very relatable for those of us that have gone through weight loss. I am currently in the process of losing weight and getting my energy and health back on track, it feels wonderful. However, I am not treating it like the be all and end all of who I am and who I am becoming. There is so much I am doing to heal myself on many levels, I don't need others approval or disapproval on any of my lifestyle choices, whether they be dietary, spiritual or otherwise. It is interesting to notice the difference in others as I grow in my self development. I am becoming a stronger person and although I am an empath, I am placing up barriers to people's uncertainty of me and others strong opinions because hey, it's my life and I am excited to be me and have a more clearer vision than ever of my path and where I want to go and what I want to do and how I wish to express myself. I am done placing negative limitations on myself, it's time for others to catch up! 😉💖 you got this Cait, keep finding power in your authentic self 🙌
So much this. I have a 20 year old daughter. At 10 years old, she was put on a medication that she needs to regulate some pretty necessary bodily function (she doesn't love acknowledging it so that's as specific as I'll get with the reason). Shortly after, she started gaining weight. We went to nutritionists & doctors but nobody caught that rare med side effect for almost 8 years. By that time she was 5 foot 9 & 260 pounds. She was a size 20. She always ate extremely healthy, she meal prepped, she exercised daily & she ran marathons. She just kept gaining with no explanation. I even had 1 doctor accuse her of binge eating. That appointment didn't go well. She was more active & ate better than anyone I know. When she was 17, my husband of 14 years (plus we dated 2 years prior) was killed in a car accident shortly before she was going to leave home for college (4 months or so.). She didn't remember a life before her beloved stepfather. About a week before she was leaving for college & leaving her little sister (3.5 years younger) who had lost her dad, I told her I'd take her up to the grocery store to get a cart full of groceries so she could take a bunch of prepped meal plans with her. She had a cart full of whole grains, frest fruits & veggies & a few lean meats. At the very end she asked if she could grab ice cream & a birthday cake for her little sister whose 1st birthday without her father would be a week after my older daughter had to leave. I obviously said absolutely. She walked into the checkout to wait while I grabbed 1 last thing so idk how long this went on but I came up on 2 middle aged women (not anywhere near healthy weights themselves) absolutely berating her & telling her that she needed to put the cake & ice cream back because "She obviously didn't need it." She doesn't love putting her personal business out there so she just stood there with tears streaming down her face. I handed her my keys, waited until she walked outside & very loudly explained why these women were particularly evil to choose to do that on that day to that particular kid. The damn cake was a gift for her traumatized little sister that she wouldn't even be eating. By the time I was done the whole store was giving them the evil eye (so to speak) & I was sobbing myself. God I hate people sometimes. You have NO IDEA what someone else is dealing with & that fact alone should cause a decent person to pause. If it doesn't, you just suck & I happen to think you are garbage.
@@laurieanne9179 Yea I'm so not one of those "suffer in silence" types. If you piss me off, you will know it. These women were so hypocritical as well. They were probably sized 12-14 themselves (which would have been more than fine with me had they minded their own business) & there wasn't really any healthy food in their own carts. It was just astonishing that they had the nerve to get on my daughter about what was in her cart. I guess they figured someone that young wasn't going to have the quick wit to point that out & she looked like she was alone. Unfortunately for them, they ran into a mama bear who had VERY sharp claws & I do have that quick wit to comeback at anyone if they deserve it. It just frustrates me because she is healthy. She hates going to the grocery store because no matter what she buys, people are adding up the calories in her cart & her roommates ask her to grab stuff for them once in awhile so she does get dirty looks. I noticed it when I go shopping with her & it's absolutely ridiculous. Her little sister (my youngest) is a tiny blonde girl who is just over 5 feet tall & just over 100 pounds at 16 years old. Twice a month her brother (my late husband's son who is 2 weeks older than my oldest so they were raised as twins) will come up to stay with her for a gaming weekend. She will go to the grocery store & fill her cart with the most junk she can manage. It's for 2 people & is usually gone by Sunday night. She gets nothing but smiling faces & comments like "you must be planning a party". The difference is striking & it disgusts me. My oldest is actually way healthier than my youngest (my youngest has severe environmental allergies, asthma, anxiety, PTSD, ODD & depression & isn't remotely active) but people look at my oldest & they make ridiculous judgements based off of nothing. She could absolutely run circles around most of them. It's so harmful.
disgusting people. And even if she WAS buying a cake to eat it all herself, whats it to them? Its none of their fucking business. What someone wants to do with their body, money, etc is their choice. Sure maybe you shouldnt eat a whole cake, no one should. But like, thats your choice?? I aint going to stop anybody from living their life
No one carrying extra weight is unaware of that weight and know that others see it, so no one needs to point it out. Thank you for your kindness and articulation
Eugenia Cooney was not given that much empathy. She has been attacked constantly. People may have taken her problem more seriously, yes, but she bullied and mocked
I am HORRIFIED at how people treat her still, even though she's not constantly talking about her treatment and recovery. People can have whatever concerns they want, but honestly, the backhanded compliments she gets, or saying she needs to eat, or attacking her for wearing baggy clothes or clothes that show her body do far more harm than good.
I love her and all people do is criticize and poke fun/hate at her, even when she does her best to help herself. She can't even wear clothing without getting criticized :((
You straight up can't look at someone and determine how healthy someone is. The biggest indicator for health is your zip code. Baseline, if you're poor you don't have access to high quality food, medical care, gym equptment, etc. And you look to cheap unhealthy habits to releave stress, which is often binge eating. Shane has come SO far in life. He's become so successful with his career and he's got great friends and a happy healthy relationship. I don't understand why we can't just celebrate his progress. Everyone has setbacks at some point or another, it doesn't erase all of the great things Shane's accomplished in his life.
Fat phobia is so ingrained in our culture that health professionals will shame their patients for "weighing too much". I get pamphlets on weight loss, calorie intake and excersize from one nurse in particular at my clinic any time she happens to be the one to do my intake, despite it clearly being stated in my records that I'm a recovering anorexic and have CFS and IBS. I literally cannot excersize without having flare ups and refuse to restrict my food intake any longer. If I'm hungry I'm going to eat. If I want a certain food I'm going to have some. My body type carries weight differently which led to me getting away with my restrictions for a long time, I was even turned away from treatment because I didn't weigh less than health professionals thought was a normal range, even at my most restrictive. So knowing that even though I don't look that heavy but my weight says I'm "too big" and that this nurse has decided it's her duty to get me to lose what would be an unhealthy amount of weight for me is really hurtful. People in general and professionals especially need to realize that just because someone "looks" too big, or weighs more than they think they should it doesn't mean they're unhealthy and they aren't taking care of themselves. A lot of times those are the people who are working the hardest to get themselves healthy or keep themselves from falling back into unhealthy eating habits.
Judging, commenting on other people's bodies.............WHY, WHY, WHY!!!!!!! I am continually frustrated by this. Is it ever going to change? Not your body, so keep your opinions to yourself. Hmmmmmfffff sorry it just makes me wild 😡 - thanks so much for covering this Mia 😍
I have struggled with weight all my life and had a very unhealthy relationship with food (yet to decide whether it is an eating disorder or not) and alcohol and I have had so many instances where someone's comment has made feel awful when they had no idea that I was losing weight then when i lost 7 and a half stone they said I was too skinny, I documented my weightless journey on a fb page for ppl on the diet I did and I got comments under the before and after picture saying you look too skinny now instead of compliments on how well I had done - I then put 6 stone back on again (my TH-cam profile pic is 2018 when I lost weight) and just recently lost 1 stone and a half - i get scared of those comments from people because honestly it's consumed me and I've been in an extremely dark place as a direct result of comments from other ppl - I can't even imagine how it feels to be an online creator and getting it every day, I don't blame Shane for taking a break and it absolutely is our loss, why would anyone comment that, making out like us laughing at his content is enabling him when in my opinion there is nothing wrong with how shane looks and none of us have any idea what he has been through with his weight or his health status, omg it angers me
Could you do a video on lasting effects of eating disorders? I’ve been recovered from bulimia for around 3 years but I’m just now finding out I have heart problems that most likely were due to my eating disorder. I’ve been recovered for a while and so when I found this out it was so sad and difficult to come to terms that I may have damaged my body from an unhealthy coping mechanism that I didn’t really understand the consequences of at the time.
Hannah K i was literally just thinking about this; i’m a recovered anorexic and despite being a normal weight now i’m still freezing all the time, even in summer, but i can’t find any studies on it POST recovery 😕
- that means you’re probably not as recovered as you think you are. by normal weight do you mean just above the underweight threshold, or a weight that’s healthy for YOUR body, a weight you don’t have to restrict calories or over exercise in order to maintain?
peepee it’s funny I should get this comment now. Being in isolation has definitely showed me I’m not as recovered as I thought I was. Thanks for the feedback.
peepee Hm I mean I’m definitely still struggling mentally (and relapsed in quarantine for a lil bit 🥴) but i’m back to the weight i always was before my eating disorder set in, and exercising normally? Idk its just weird that my body physically still FEELS the way it did when i was restricting
Trying to recover from decades of restriction and travelling in a group with two naturally-skinny HUGE eaters: "Oh, you eat a lot, well, you're a tall girl, I guess you can carry it". Why, just WHY????
It’s like I remember you saying.. an ED will never be happy, you’ll never be thin enough, it’s trying to kill you at the end of the day. I don’t think people understand that if he succumbs to his ED then he could die and it is that serious. I hate that we have to live in a world where he has to deal with this bullshit 😔
SOOOOOO TRUE!... When your mental health is not OK, of course your body will not be OK. I've been overweighted for years, since I was a kid. Countless times/attempts I've tried to loose all this weight, but I realized that is not a battle against food, it's about your thoughts. Not knowing the background of a person does not gives you the right of judging, in my case my whole life my own parents seemed to be disgusted of me being overweighted, comparing me with other skinny pretty girls and making me feel like I wasn't worth enough, till today I'm still fighting with that. I recently went on vacations to the beach I didn't even packed a swimming suit 'cause I'm ashamed of my body. Thanks GOD I have awesome siblings and friends that support me a lot, I think that's what's helping me to get over those thoughts.
This is just so sad. I’m in recovery from my eating disorder that I’ve had for 17 years-one year in-and I know all to well the comments, the “advice”, the “support” people have given me and continue to give me that are “healthy”. The judgement that surround ANY type of change is astounding. I too am in a place where I’m practicing eating whatever I want, whenever I want-trying to listen to my body. And boy oh boy are the comments constant. I wish that society as a whole received the information that I have gained during my recovery. Information on the importance of acceptance, of the damaging affects of shame, the importance and strength that comes with being vulnerable, and most importantly, that what you look like means absolutely nothing. It does not define who you are, and it’s just so sad that people feel the need to place some sort of window of tolerance to what people ‘should’ look like. I’m in recovery, yes, but think society needs to go through a recovery of its own.
I'm so glad that you made this video. I saw on his story a few days ago that he was talking about going to the gym, and it made me really concerned for him. To think that days after that he saw that awful comment, I really worry for him. I wish that we as a society did more to educate people on eating disorders, these things could easily be prevented.
I just wanted to say thank you for making the content that you do, and taking the time to spread this awareness about all different kinds of eating disorders to all of us who watch your videos here on youtube. I just recently went into recovery for the first time and have been watching you for almost a year now, and you have helped me so much in the past month to inspire me to keep going and not give up just because of other people's perception of me or because of minor failures and intrusive thoughts. Thank you, so so much.
Thank you Mia for speaking about this. Sadly ,I have even seen this bias in eating disorder treatment centers. Anybody at any weight can have any eating disorder. At my thinnest I was binge eating all day long, and at my heaviest I was malnourished from severe restriction. Eating disorders deserve compassion and care, no matter how they manifest.
Tyler Montana Thank you for your insight Tyler. However, I’m asking for Mia’s viewpoint on the movement as a whole (there are intricate details and semantics to explore that I feel Mia can present well); the inclusivity aspect, the ‘fat acceptance’ and anti ‘fat-phobia’ and the juxtaposition of this with what can be seen as promotion of obesity, and whether this is indeed any different to the pro-ana movement. There are various interpretations of the same material and I’m interested to hear what Mia thinks as I believe she would make an interesting video on the topics involved. This goes far deeper than simply asking “is morbid obesity healthy”? Since “Health at every size” includes every other weight bracket too.
Hi, just want to share a little bit. I am a 20 years old woman who just hate my appearance more than it should've been. I am perceived as someone who is not attractive due to my nose shape, acnes, acnes scars, but mostly because of my body!! I am underweight (33 kg) not because I want to, I have since gone to nutrition specialist to organize how I eat and what should I eat, drinking weight-gain milk, etc but it just doesn't work especially when I stopped consuming them. On top of that, I am only 150 cm with no fucking boobs at all (no joking when I say it's like an iron board haha) which people apparently taken interested in so much. All of which I could not take control of! I have never felt confident and it's getting worse overtime. When people said that teenagers have the worse attitude/behavior/words, they're wrong! I feel even more offended by the adults. They literally rejected me to go into places because of my appearance, people glared and scoffed at me, people commented how my body looks like a child's, they tell stories how they attracted and accepted beautiful people for their work environment, the list goes on, people just won't look at me (let alone hear/respond to me!). Without them saying things, I myself have aware and struggle to cope up. I know these behaviors should've not affected me in every way but it does, and I keep curling myself up into a void to the point I just locked myself in my room, making excuses to avoid appointments, hang-outs, just basically going outside and have to interact with people. At the same time, I just don't want to disappoint anybody since these interactions indirectly shape my career, connection, and so on. Seeing Shane's and your response do inspire me mostly to just brush it off but I am still just an afraid little girl inside.
Hey Mia, great video as always. This is a bit random, i am wondering whether you are still caffeine free after the video you posted talking about it. I am trying to quit, (have been tapering down the past week) and am feeling very tired. I hope i feel better soon!
I actually currently am off coffee! Or trying to be, probably having it once every two weeks. It is so much better for my anxiety as I'm very caffeine sensitive. I find I'm more likely to drink alcohol to bring myself down from that high, not to excess, but just not necessary or for fun. Stick with it, drink lots of water and rest!
Something about you is just glowing today. I really love your top and I always am READY for a new Mia video. I hope you are in a good headspace and are doing okay love. Xoxo 💟
I love Shane with my whole heart and the way people judge and talk about him kills me. It shatters me every single time I see how it effects him 💔 thank you for speaking on this with such intelligence and grace. I subscribed ❤️
I’m not really personally a fan but I don’t think you even have to be a fan to see a person suffering and feel broken for them. Nobody deserves this kind of scrutiny ESPECIALLY because anybody with a single brain cell knows Shane Dawson has struggled with his body image and weight for his whole life. Ugh. Some people. Seriously.
Hi Mia. Just wanted to send you a huge virtual (and non-weird, considering we don’t know each other) hug. I think you’re amazing. I know you’ve had a huge 18 months-2 years from what you’ve shared and I thank you so much for being honest about it all in that you took a break and let yourself work on you to get yourself and keep yourself ok and well. Life keeps happening, no matter how far we get in to a “better” or “recovered” space. (I don’t have an ED diagnosis, but experience many other mental health issues). And even if you had to go from TH-cam and I never saw you online - I would know you’re doing what you need to do. And I think that’s an amazing thing to learn from what you shown and shared while you’ve been on here. So thank you for the videos you’ve made lately. But just a very messy and badly written comment to say you’re amazing and to send you encouragement. And also sending out encouragement to all the lovely people watching Mia today )or whenever you’re watching this). Keep going. One step at a time. Life will keep happening, but there’s always help and support to see you through. And if you’re on you’re own at the moment, remember that there are people out there who care about you and can support you, even if you haven’t met them yet. Ugh sorry, ramble
I haven't left my house in over a year...I needed to hear this so much. Thank you for your light and kind spirit. I hope it spreads to everyone who needs it. Peace and self love to everyone✌✨
I had doctor's try and say i had an eating disorder and was bulemic when i was a young child and after many years it was undiagnosed acid reflux which led to barretts esophagus, now i have to be checked every two years for throat cancer because of the damage. Then as an adult i found I have a genetic kidney disease that doesn't rear it's ugly head til age 28 and dropped to about 20lbs underweight. I had doctor's saying i should be glad to be so thin after years of being borderline overweight but my body was shutting down. when people ask my secret to being "so skinny" i just sya kidney disease and walk away. People are just messed up and rude
This is not what Gillain said, it’s what people heard. She didn’t say Lizzo was not talented. She said being overweight is a health concern, which it is. She didn’t say that she shouldn’t perform or her talent wasn’t appreciated because she was fat. People have to separate their self worth from their weight.
But why does it MATTER if Lizzo is overweight? She's out here making music and entertaining people, not telling people to gain weight. Lizzo didn't ASK for Gillian's opinion.
the cranky foodie The interviewer asked Gillian for her opinion as a health professional. Gillian didn’t say Lizzo had to lose weight. She simply said when she thought of Lizzo she didn’t think she was great because she was overweight. She thought she was great because she was a good singer. She said we should celebrate her talent not her weight. Gillian then went on to state a truthful fact about the risks of being overweight which are simply truthful facts. Unfortunately, persons with eating disorders take these statements personally because they have issues with their weight. They want to pass those issues unto the rest of the world. The number of women with eating disorders are very small and are usually middle class, white Western women who read too much Cosmo and watch too much Gossip Girl. They believe being thin makes them a good person. In the majority of the world, people care little about weight. There is a large portion of society who have a perfectly healthy relationship with their body and food. The small section who do not, want the rest of us to edit truthful facts to make them comfortable. If what someone says about your weight offends you, then you need to seek help to deal with your body image. I am not skinny nor do I strive to be. Someone calling me fat, even if it was true, would not offend me because I know my self worth is not tied to my body size. If I’m fat. I’m fat. I’m a still a kind, loving and productive member of society but I’m still fat. If I stay fat, I risk health issues. The decision to become healthy is mine. Becoming healthy does not mean getting very thin but it does mean losing some of the weight to take me out of the danger zone. I have chunky thighs but can run a mile. I could not run that mile as easily if I was overweight. I’ll never be a model but I also will not die of type 2 diabetes. Let’s not glorify women who are clearly out of the normal range for weight to pacify the small about who starved themselves to thinness. We should be encouraging women to love themselves enough to: A) not care what anyone else thinks; and B) want to take care of their bodies. Loving your body means treating it with respect and constant overeating is just as disrespectful as constant under-eating. Lizzo is exceptionally talented but the world will not be able to enjoy that talent if she laying in a bed suffering from diabetes. This is not being rude... it’s just a fact. When Westerners stop attaching weight to self worth, then my friends you will truly be women not scared little girls who are afraid to eat a piece of cake or need the whole world to tell them how pretty they are. This is the problem, not Gillian’s comment.
@@shangreer9060 Oh Shan, you have some really disordered thinking around this topic. I'm not going to argue with you, out of respect to my sister because I don't want to argue with people on her channel, but these stereotypes you're talking about are really damaging, and not true. I hope you can learn more about this topic, instead of making huge assumptions. Have a lovely day, Shan.
the cranky foodie Someone disagreeing with you does mean they have disordered thoughts about food. I can be empathetic to your sister’s condition but not share her opinion. The problem with this new world is we believe everyone has to agree with our viewpoint. I can try to empathize with why your sister is sensitive to this issue but it will never be a hot topic for me. I don’t starve myself. I eat all foods in moderation and exercise in moderation. My weight is the least interesting thing about me and plays little time on my mind as I go about my day. I focus on family and friends. I work hard at my hobbies and help others. Food is just food for me. Eating cake is just the same as eating carrots. I get this is not the case for your sister and if comments like these trigger her, I will stop making them. Having said so, your sister cannot control what other people say. She can only control how she processes it. I hope she continues to thrive and that at some stage in her life, food will not control her. I may not understand anorexia but I certainly wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Best of luck to her.
As someone with serious body dysmorphia, thank you. Thank you for saying these wonderful things. Because we do live in a very small minded world where fat is considered disgusting. I weighed 400+ pounds and I ate every emotion I had. Once I got my mental health in order, I lost loads of weight with portion control and working out, (no surgery) ( I weigh 160lbs and I'm 5"10). I still have a while to go. But when ignorant people say things like what they said to Shane or they don't know me and just have an opinion, it cuts deep. It sticks with you for months. You beat yourself up because this one INSIGNIFICANT person said something that hurt you. Words are powerful. I still see myself as a 400 pound person because, well that's how body dysmorphia works. The moment I saw him post that, I wanted to hug him because I cried for him. No one deserves to be treated like this. Thank you so much for talking about this and bringing education to the table. Love and light. 💋
Really appreciating this as an overweight person with an eating disorder. When I was dangerously underweight because of my eating disorder I got nothing but compliments but now I'm a bit overweight people are so quick to criticise and encourage me to try to get back to the body before. Even though I'm so much healthier now than I was back then.
Imagine if Shane did a series of Mia coaching him for recovery?! I would LIVE for that. Obviously though that’s not something many people would want to share publicly though, because recovery is raw as hell. Either way, I really hope he gets help. It makes me so sad to see him suffering from his ED and beating himself up about it.
Shane shouted you out and linked your very helpful video.. which is awesome 💙 I wanted to share something I've learned recently: If you feel like commenting to someone on something they cannot change or fix within 2 minutes, then decline to comment. Meaning if it is a bit of food on the face or a piece of fuzz in the hair .. then mention it if you feel so needed.. but if it's ANYTHING more as in weight loss or gain, clothing mishaps, stains, hair dye or cut mishaps, abilities or disabilities, etc.. you have no right to comment and it would do everyone better to not comment. It's not out business. Anyways, love this video xx
My eating disorder stemmed from a single comment about my weight. I've shifted between binge eating disorder during manic times when I'm excercising heavily to full blown anxiety induced anorexia during depressive cycles. I've been 112lbs and I've been 170lbs depending on what phase I'm in. Comments are not appreciated and they do not help when you are struggling with emotional toxicity around one of the most basic human necessities that is food. And they are incredibly ignorant to assume laziness or enabling when you only see one very specific lense of someone's life.
Thank you so much for this as someone in recovery for an ED. Shane's being open about his ED struggles is what actual got me into treatment. I am forever thankful for him. My heart shattered when I saw him post that tweet. People need to understand how dangerous words can be they can trigger relapses or worse. We battle with our brains and bodies everyday we don't need our nightmare confirmed. I'm glad he took a break and that he has a loving fiancé plus amazing friends who support him. I am also so thankful to people like you who actually care, understand how harmful comments like this can be, and who are helping educate others to make this a safer space for us all 💜
Nobody knows what is going through someone's life. It is really sad that we enjoy putting people down. I've been dealing with eating disorder for so long and it's not easy or seeing people saying saying 'just stop eating'. It really affects you when you know you've been struggling with this for so long and someone brings your insecurities and says your thoughts out loud. Be kind. Spread love ❤
I’m SO happy to see you back on here and doing it YOUR way!! I hope you’re truly enjoying putting out these videos and doing so without putting pressure on yourself because they never ever disappoint ❤️
Honestly I've relapsed into Atypical Anorexia. This relapse comes after months of making strides towards recovery. I won't fully blame the negative comments I've received over my body over the last few months, but from hit after hit, I fully succumbed to the relapse
Mia, a fantastic video and yes we all need to be accountable for what we say about others and make sure we're sensitive and considered. All people deserve respect and compassion, regardless their identity, size and all other details of what makes them, them. Much love Drina 🙌💖
Thank you for being a place on TH-cam I can always count on to feel okay and heard. Sometimes I feel like my home page is full of triggering nonsense even though my direct subscriptions (including workout channels etc) tend to be pretty body positive and happy. The recommended associations to other channels really need to improve :/.
Seeing his response to this broke my heart. I've been a fan of Shane since the beginning and anyone who is a proper fan knows his struggle with food and his weight. He's an incredible person who does incredible things for the people he loves. Maybe people should focus on that instead of something that is going to potentially trigger someone. Edit: As a big person, people totally make an assumption about me before they know me. I honestly hate buying junk food and won't go to fast food restaurants because people make assumptions and it makes me feel disgusting. I actually eat really well and am going out of my way to lose weight. Fatphobia is definitely something that needs to change. But then you shouldn't judge anyone for how they look.
I dont know you, but I think I love you! 😊 I wish more people had the mindset you do. Shaming for any reason is so wrong and so incredibly hurtful and damaging! Mental health is no joke. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and please keep spreading that message!!💙
I was the one that made the comment. I’ve tried reaching out to Shane on various platforms to explain my comment. My comment was in NO WAY body shaming. I have lost over 100 lbs (from 300 to 185) and I’m well aware of the struggle. I empathize with Shane and my comment was actually in defense of his struggle. It was taken totally wrong by Shane and I’ve tried repeatedly to clarify it, but it’s taken on a life of its own. Pretty much every sensible fan that’s confronted me about it has changed from coming at me defensively for Shane to understanding what I meant and saying they hope I can get a hold of Shane.
Specifically, I KNOW Shane is self-conscious and unhappy about his body. But it’s like every other video shows Ryland putting an entire serving tray of Oreos on the kitchen island or piling food into his mouth. I think all of Shane’s friends mean well, but I don’t think they quite realize how much they feed into his struggle. It’s like drinking booze in front of a recovering alcoholic. I want the best for Shane and unfortunately, the screen shot he posted left out me saying that very thing. “I want to see you both happy and healthy”
I had even gone so far as to admit that my comment was unsolicited, but it was heartfelt and coming from a place of love. I know that may be hard for a lot of people to wrap their head around, but it did.
Fatphobia (and therefore undetected or un/mistreated eating disorder sufferers) has horrific consequences for everyone, just as weight discrimination! Higher weight people are being discriminated against, belittled, shamed and de-valued, and thinner bodied people internalize the fear of fat and either stay stuck in their ED or live in constant fear of their bodies change. It's just absolutely horrendous.
Agreed, it hurts people all around the board, whether they're vulnerable to eating disorders or not. Absolutely love your work and podcast Meret - I am always sending episodes to clients and they make such an enormous difference.
People think that it's as simple as telling an overweight person that he is fat, and that is going to make them lose weight. That they are helping the person by talking to them about their weight. What it actually does is it sends the person into a depression and actually makes them eat more, because a lot of people find comfort in food, so when they are depressed, they overeat because it makes them feel better for a short time. And when the food high passes they become even more depressed and the cycle begins again. So if you are thinking about commenting about someone's weight, unless you are a mental health professional or the person asked for your opinion, shut up and keep your opinions to yourself. People need to understand that obesity is a HEALTH CONDITION, and it can have many physical and psychological causes which cannot be determined or cured by an idiot behind a computer keyboard.
There are still some people who don’t get it. Nobody is saying it is healthy to be overweight (nobody sane). We’re saying it’s totally none of any of our business because we never know what the person is going through. It’s not on me nor you to tell someone to lose weight because for all we know...they can be having an internal struggle and our words may drive them to even further suffer. Just, we have to have more compassion.
I hope that Shane knows that there is no shame and could be very helpful for him to block/mute certain words /phrases. Might help if he just doesn't have to see and deal with comments mentioning weight, fat, body etc . I know that if I was a youtuber I would for sure do something similar.
Thank you for making this video. I'm heartbroken and angry that someone would make such a harmful and nasty comment. I have suffered with an ED for 24 years and have dealt with other people's comments that have affected me to my soul. Shane is someone who I admire so much. Every video he releases is a bright light in the dark for me. He makes me laugh like no one on this earth. People need to change their mindset and just be KIND 🌻
Ok wow. I have no words to describe how horrible this is and how sorry I am for Shane. No one should have to endure this kind of comments whatsoever, let alone people who struggle with ED and mental health issues
It always makes me sad when Shane's ED is obviously being loud in his head. He's a beautiful soul and he just feels so bad about himself sometimes. It hurts.
Great video, I couldn’t have said it better myself. The entitlement of people these days ruins it for everyone else. Thank you for making this video, Shane is an amazing person and I wouldn’t be able to loose all that weight like he did.
I have no idea why people comment on his weight. He is at a perfect weight in my eyes people have no emotion to how much this can hurt people. I also suffer from a eat disorder where I dont wanna eat when my parents put something in front of me. Shane may think of himself as fat, ugly and gross but to his viewers he is a great, wonderful, adorable, sweet human being. His fiancee even think the same as his viewers but ryland loves him so much. I dont think anyone should make comments about other peoples weight or physical appearance
Great video! Not only could everyone use some education on eating disorders, but everyone could also use education on empathy. BTW, LOVE those earrings. :)
Excellent video as always lovely lady x I can’t believe people still feel the need to pass judgement on another person’s figure - when will they ever learn that if you *ASSUME* u make an *ASS* out of *U* and *ME* 🙄 So devastating about the horrific event that happened involving Hannah Baxter, her three beautiful babies and her estranged husband in Queensland 😔 I can’t get over that sad tragic story. I read somewhere online that her estranged ex husband had been very controlling and abusive to the point where she (Hannah) developed an eating disorder to appease him. Would you ever touch on this type of abuse sweetheart such as where to seek help and guidance if any other women were to go through similar events because there’s not a lot of information available mainstream unfortunately, Domestic Violence Australia does incredible work but would they cover it or would it be something to contact BeyondBlue; another amazing foundation or would it be 1800RESPECT or The Butterfly Foundation? Is it a police matter? Before it reached such awful levels (the tragic aftermath) apart from reporting the actual physical violence, who could she have turned to, or any woman have turned to, if they are in that similar situation. It’s so uncertain and that’s why I think women undergoing these horrific circumstances feel uncertain where to go and they feel as though if they do speak up they won’t be taken seriously and will be ignored so they try to deal with it all on their own. I’ve been thinking about this ever since I heard about it and it breaks my heart. It’s one of those horrible news stories that I don’t think ever really leaves your headspace once hearing it 😔 sorry for the manifesto but I wanted to run that all by you and ask an expert on what avenues a woman in similar circumstances to Hannah Baxter would have to go down? 💕
I don't think anyone should comment on anyone's body ever. Even if they've lost weight. You don't know how they got there. You could just be feeding into an eating disorder. Never assume weight loss is healthy.
The thing is, all this attention is on body shaming but we forget that the real problem is how body-image centric our society actually is, whether our feedback is positive or negative
Yes, yes, yes.
Agreed. I've lost weight in the past from some very unhealthy means and getting compliments only made me feel like a fraud.
This is one of the best comments I've read on TH-cam in a while
I actually disagree. While losing weight, encouraging remarks people would make were one of the biggest pushes to continue my weight loss. It’s hard to notice the difference on yourself, especially if you’re going a healthy route and it taking awhile but when others notice, it really helps it sink in and motivates you to continue. I have family members who weren’t even realising their sudden weight loss and after having concerns bought to attention, they were able to identify it too (the cause was from overworking/stress) and are currently in the progress of gaining weight back.
Every situation is different and everyone reacts to things differently. It can cause a negative outcome but there’s a possibility of it helping too, you never know so there’s no point in tip toeing.
AM BY I 100% agree. I’ve always struggled with my weight. As an adolescent, my mom would call me names because I was overweight. So one day I said “I’ll show you. I’ll stop you from making mean comments to me” and I stopped eating. It got serious and she finally realized it. But for a long time I got “oh wow you look amazing!” “Wow you’ve lost so much weight congrats!” From her. I even tried telling her it’s not good for her to say that to me (both ways), but she didn’t stop. Until it got worse and I ended up in the hospital. I soon moved out with my then boyfriend and now ex husband, but after my divorce years later, I’ve had to move back in with her... 🙁
Why do people continue to comment on his weight? Everyone KNOWS he’s struggled with disordered eating and like you said, he hasn’t spoken about his recovery.
Poor guy, I really feel for him. If you have an ED, there’s normally that inner dialogue/negative voice that goes along with it. We don’t need people to add more criticism to that loop by making fat-phobic comments.
Upon Reflection absolutely! And why does it matter anyway?! It doesn't change anything about a person’s character if they gain or lose weight.
You are 100% right.. I feel bad for Shane honestly and his body being shamed all the time ! Really disgusting
Sam Khalil people should really find more constructive things to do with their time.
Some people enjoy tearing others down. It's a very known fact that Shane is insecure about his body, so if you want to get to him you comment about his body.
As someone who has experienced extremely disordered eating after massive weight loss (much like Shane, I had lost more than 130 pounds at my smallest). People feel so free to comment on my body constantly. I’m currently trying to actively eat what I want without it delving into that familiar, extremely disordered territory I’m so familiar with. I am a bit larger than I was, say, a year ago and my family reminds me that I need to be careful that I don’t put it all back on. Mental health and eating disorders after such drastic weight loss are so common, but people don’t seem to be interested in looking at that narrative. They assume that you should stay at your lowest weight, no matter how you got there. Anyways, not sure what I’m trying to say, but I really feel for Shane on a personal level.
So sorry that you're on the receiving end of those comments Cait. I hope you know that is not a reflection of you, but them. And that there are people out there who don't feel that way!
So true, "they always think you should stay at your lowest weight, no matter how you got there". People just don't get it. It's like there are two strands to humanity, the normal unthinkingly'eating naturally slim, and the fat-inclined weight loss and eating disordered people. Recognising this huge gulf of misunderstanding has helped me discount the opinions of others so as to look after myself.
It's like Brittany Spears says in her song Piece of me..She's too big now she's too thin. People always want to talk about other people's weight. Someone did that to me and I told them that they looked dirtier every time I saw them and that they creeped me out because obviously they were always checking out my body because of the non stop comments.
Cait, thanks for sharing and it is very relatable for those of us that have gone through weight loss. I am currently in the process of losing weight and getting my energy and health back on track, it feels wonderful. However, I am not treating it like the be all and end all of who I am and who I am becoming. There is so much I am doing to heal myself on many levels, I don't need others approval or disapproval on any of my lifestyle choices, whether they be dietary, spiritual or otherwise.
It is interesting to notice the difference in others as I grow in my self development. I am becoming a stronger person and although I am an empath, I am placing up barriers to people's uncertainty of me and others strong opinions because hey, it's my life and I am excited to be me and have a more clearer vision than ever of my path and where I want to go and what I want to do and how I wish to express myself. I am done placing negative limitations on myself, it's time for others to catch up! 😉💖 you got this Cait, keep finding power in your authentic self 🙌
So much this. I have a 20 year old daughter. At 10 years old, she was put on a medication that she needs to regulate some pretty necessary bodily function (she doesn't love acknowledging it so that's as specific as I'll get with the reason). Shortly after, she started gaining weight. We went to nutritionists & doctors but nobody caught that rare med side effect for almost 8 years.
By that time she was 5 foot 9 & 260 pounds. She was a size 20. She always ate extremely healthy, she meal prepped, she exercised daily & she ran marathons. She just kept gaining with no explanation. I even had 1 doctor accuse her of binge eating. That appointment didn't go well. She was more active & ate better than anyone I know.
When she was 17, my husband of 14 years (plus we dated 2 years prior) was killed in a car accident shortly before she was going to leave home for college (4 months or so.). She didn't remember a life before her beloved stepfather.
About a week before she was leaving for college & leaving her little sister (3.5 years younger) who had lost her dad, I told her I'd take her up to the grocery store to get a cart full of groceries so she could take a bunch of prepped meal plans with her.
She had a cart full of whole grains, frest fruits & veggies & a few lean meats. At the very end she asked if she could grab ice cream & a birthday cake for her little sister whose 1st birthday without her father would be a week after my older daughter had to leave. I obviously said absolutely.
She walked into the checkout to wait while I grabbed 1 last thing so idk how long this went on but I came up on 2 middle aged women (not anywhere near healthy weights themselves) absolutely berating her & telling her that she needed to put the cake & ice cream back because "She obviously didn't need it." She doesn't love putting her personal business out there so she just stood there with tears streaming down her face.
I handed her my keys, waited until she walked outside & very loudly explained why these women were particularly evil to choose to do that on that day to that particular kid. The damn cake was a gift for her traumatized little sister that she wouldn't even be eating. By the time I was done the whole store was giving them the evil eye (so to speak) & I was sobbing myself. God I hate people sometimes. You have NO IDEA what someone else is dealing with & that fact alone should cause a decent person to pause. If it doesn't, you just suck & I happen to think you are garbage.
Your daughter is strong and can get through anything!
This made me tear up. Good for you for standing up for your daughter! I'm so sorry for your family's loss.
@@laurieanne9179 Yea I'm so not one of those "suffer in silence" types. If you piss me off, you will know it. These women were so hypocritical as well. They were probably sized 12-14 themselves (which would have been more than fine with me had they minded their own business) & there wasn't really any healthy food in their own carts. It was just astonishing that they had the nerve to get on my daughter about what was in her cart. I guess they figured someone that young wasn't going to have the quick wit to point that out & she looked like she was alone. Unfortunately for them, they ran into a mama bear who had VERY sharp claws & I do have that quick wit to comeback at anyone if they deserve it.
It just frustrates me because she is healthy. She hates going to the grocery store because no matter what she buys, people are adding up the calories in her cart & her roommates ask her to grab stuff for them once in awhile so she does get dirty looks. I noticed it when I go shopping with her & it's absolutely ridiculous.
Her little sister (my youngest) is a tiny blonde girl who is just over 5 feet tall & just over 100 pounds at 16 years old. Twice a month her brother (my late husband's son who is 2 weeks older than my oldest so they were raised as twins) will come up to stay with her for a gaming weekend. She will go to the grocery store & fill her cart with the most junk she can manage. It's for 2 people & is usually gone by Sunday night. She gets nothing but smiling faces & comments like "you must be planning a party". The difference is striking & it disgusts me.
My oldest is actually way healthier than my youngest (my youngest has severe environmental allergies, asthma, anxiety, PTSD, ODD & depression & isn't remotely active) but people look at my oldest & they make ridiculous judgements based off of nothing. She could absolutely run circles around most of them. It's so harmful.
disgusting people. And even if she WAS buying a cake to eat it all herself, whats it to them? Its none of their fucking business. What someone wants to do with their body, money, etc is their choice. Sure maybe you shouldnt eat a whole cake, no one should. But like, thats your choice?? I aint going to stop anybody from living their life
No one carrying extra weight is unaware of that weight and know that others see it, so no one needs to point it out. Thank you for your kindness and articulation
Eugenia Cooney was not given that much empathy. She has been attacked constantly. People may have taken her problem more seriously, yes, but she bullied and mocked
I am HORRIFIED at how people treat her still, even though she's not constantly talking about her treatment and recovery. People can have whatever concerns they want, but honestly, the backhanded compliments she gets, or saying she needs to eat, or attacking her for wearing baggy clothes or clothes that show her body do far more harm than good.
I love her and all people do is criticize and poke fun/hate at her, even when she does her best to help herself. She can't even wear clothing without getting criticized :((
She got a lot of support as well but many youtubers (ex: onision) pushed people to try and abuse her into getting help
You straight up can't look at someone and determine how healthy someone is.
The biggest indicator for health is your zip code. Baseline, if you're poor you don't have access to high quality food, medical care, gym equptment, etc. And you look to cheap unhealthy habits to releave stress, which is often binge eating.
Shane has come SO far in life. He's become so successful with his career and he's got great friends and a happy healthy relationship. I don't understand why we can't just celebrate his progress. Everyone has setbacks at some point or another, it doesn't erase all of the great things Shane's accomplished in his life.
Fat phobia is so ingrained in our culture that health professionals will shame their patients for "weighing too much". I get pamphlets on weight loss, calorie intake and excersize from one nurse in particular at my clinic any time she happens to be the one to do my intake, despite it clearly being stated in my records that I'm a recovering anorexic and have CFS and IBS. I literally cannot excersize without having flare ups and refuse to restrict my food intake any longer. If I'm hungry I'm going to eat. If I want a certain food I'm going to have some. My body type carries weight differently which led to me getting away with my restrictions for a long time, I was even turned away from treatment because I didn't weigh less than health professionals thought was a normal range, even at my most restrictive. So knowing that even though I don't look that heavy but my weight says I'm "too big" and that this nurse has decided it's her duty to get me to lose what would be an unhealthy amount of weight for me is really hurtful. People in general and professionals especially need to realize that just because someone "looks" too big, or weighs more than they think they should it doesn't mean they're unhealthy and they aren't taking care of themselves. A lot of times those are the people who are working the hardest to get themselves healthy or keep themselves from falling back into unhealthy eating habits.
Judging, commenting on other people's bodies.............WHY, WHY, WHY!!!!!!! I am continually frustrated by this. Is it ever going to change? Not your body, so keep your opinions to yourself. Hmmmmmfffff sorry it just makes me wild 😡 - thanks so much for covering this Mia 😍
Totally, aren't we bored by doing this yet? I know I am.
Thank you Mia. No one should have to give up what they love because of body policing.
It's so messed up that the two mix together so easily.
I have struggled with weight all my life and had a very unhealthy relationship with food (yet to decide whether it is an eating disorder or not) and alcohol and I have had so many instances where someone's comment has made feel awful when they had no idea that I was losing weight then when i lost 7 and a half stone they said I was too skinny, I documented my weightless journey on a fb page for ppl on the diet I did and I got comments under the before and after picture saying you look too skinny now instead of compliments on how well I had done - I then put 6 stone back on again (my TH-cam profile pic is 2018 when I lost weight) and just recently lost 1 stone and a half - i get scared of those comments from people because honestly it's consumed me and I've been in an extremely dark place as a direct result of comments from other ppl - I can't even imagine how it feels to be an online creator and getting it every day, I don't blame Shane for taking a break and it absolutely is our loss, why would anyone comment that, making out like us laughing at his content is enabling him when in my opinion there is nothing wrong with how shane looks and none of us have any idea what he has been through with his weight or his health status, omg it angers me
Could you do a video on lasting effects of eating disorders? I’ve been recovered from bulimia for around 3 years but I’m just now finding out I have heart problems that most likely were due to my eating disorder. I’ve been recovered for a while and so when I found this out it was so sad and difficult to come to terms that I may have damaged my body from an unhealthy coping mechanism that I didn’t really understand the consequences of at the time.
Hannah K i was literally just thinking about this; i’m a recovered anorexic and despite being a normal weight now i’m still freezing all the time, even in summer, but i can’t find any studies on it POST recovery 😕
- that means you’re probably not as recovered as you think you are. by normal weight do you mean just above the underweight threshold, or a weight that’s healthy for YOUR body, a weight you don’t have to restrict calories or over exercise in order to maintain?
peepee it’s funny I should get this comment now. Being in isolation has definitely showed me I’m not as recovered as I thought I was. Thanks for the feedback.
peepee Hm I mean I’m definitely still struggling mentally (and relapsed in quarantine for a lil bit 🥴) but i’m back to the weight i always was before my eating disorder set in, and exercising normally? Idk its just weird that my body physically still FEELS the way it did when i was restricting
Mia, I can’t thank you enough for your perspective and thoughts.
I hope it helps!
Trying to recover from decades of restriction and travelling in a group with two naturally-skinny HUGE eaters: "Oh, you eat a lot, well, you're a tall girl, I guess you can carry it". Why, just WHY????
It’s like I remember you saying.. an ED will never be happy, you’ll never be thin enough, it’s trying to kill you at the end of the day. I don’t think people understand that if he succumbs to his ED then he could die and it is that serious. I hate that we have to live in a world where he has to deal with this bullshit 😔
SOOOOOO TRUE!... When your mental health is not OK, of course your body will not be OK. I've been overweighted for years, since I was a kid. Countless times/attempts I've tried to loose all this weight, but I realized that is not a battle against food, it's about your thoughts. Not knowing the background of a person does not gives you the right of judging, in my case my whole life my own parents seemed to be disgusted of me being overweighted, comparing me with other skinny pretty girls and making me feel like I wasn't worth enough, till today I'm still fighting with that. I recently went on vacations to the beach I didn't even packed a swimming suit 'cause I'm ashamed of my body. Thanks GOD I have awesome siblings and friends that support me a lot, I think that's what's helping me to get over those thoughts.
This is just so sad. I’m in recovery from my eating disorder that I’ve had for 17 years-one year in-and I know all to well the comments, the “advice”, the “support” people have given me and continue to give me that are “healthy”. The judgement that surround ANY type of change is astounding. I too am in a place where I’m practicing eating whatever I want, whenever I want-trying to listen to my body. And boy oh boy are the comments constant. I wish that society as a whole received the information that I have gained during my recovery. Information on the importance of acceptance, of the damaging affects of shame, the importance and strength that comes with being vulnerable, and most importantly, that what you look like means absolutely nothing. It does not define who you are, and it’s just so sad that people feel the need to place some sort of window of tolerance to what people ‘should’ look like. I’m in recovery, yes, but think society needs to go through a recovery of its own.
I'm so glad that you made this video. I saw on his story a few days ago that he was talking about going to the gym, and it made me really concerned for him. To think that days after that he saw that awful comment, I really worry for him. I wish that we as a society did more to educate people on eating disorders, these things could easily be prevented.
I just wanted to say thank you for making the content that you do, and taking the time to spread this awareness about all different kinds of eating disorders to all of us who watch your videos here on youtube. I just recently went into recovery for the first time and have been watching you for almost a year now, and you have helped me so much in the past month to inspire me to keep going and not give up just because of other people's perception of me or because of minor failures and intrusive thoughts. Thank you, so so much.
Oh my goodness, wow, I am so honoured!
Thank you Mia for speaking about this. Sadly ,I have even seen this bias in eating disorder treatment centers. Anybody at any weight can have any eating disorder. At my thinnest I was binge eating all day long, and at my heaviest I was malnourished from severe restriction. Eating disorders deserve compassion and care, no matter how they manifest.
Shane put the link to this video in the description of hid nee vid!
Hi Mia, would you consider making a video sharing your thoughts on the Health at Every Size movement? I’d be interested to hear your standpoint.
Tyler Montana Thank you for your insight Tyler. However, I’m asking for Mia’s viewpoint on the movement as a whole (there are intricate details and semantics to explore that I feel Mia can present well); the inclusivity aspect, the ‘fat acceptance’ and anti ‘fat-phobia’ and the juxtaposition of this with what can be seen as promotion of obesity, and whether this is indeed any different to the pro-ana movement.
There are various interpretations of the same material and I’m interested to hear what Mia thinks as I believe she would make an interesting video on the topics involved.
This goes far deeper than simply asking “is morbid obesity healthy”? Since “Health at every size” includes every other weight bracket too.
Hi, just want to share a little bit. I am a 20 years old woman who just hate my appearance more than it should've been. I am perceived as someone who is not attractive due to my nose shape, acnes, acnes scars, but mostly because of my body!! I am underweight (33 kg) not because I want to, I have since gone to nutrition specialist to organize how I eat and what should I eat, drinking weight-gain milk, etc but it just doesn't work especially when I stopped consuming them. On top of that, I am only 150 cm with no fucking boobs at all (no joking when I say it's like an iron board haha) which people apparently taken interested in so much. All of which I could not take control of!
I have never felt confident and it's getting worse overtime. When people said that teenagers have the worse attitude/behavior/words, they're wrong! I feel even more offended by the adults. They literally rejected me to go into places because of my appearance, people glared and scoffed at me, people commented how my body looks like a child's, they tell stories how they attracted and accepted beautiful people for their work environment, the list goes on, people just won't look at me (let alone hear/respond to me!). Without them saying things, I myself have aware and struggle to cope up.
I know these behaviors should've not affected me in every way but it does, and I keep curling myself up into a void to the point I just locked myself in my room, making excuses to avoid appointments, hang-outs, just basically going outside and have to interact with people. At the same time, I just don't want to disappoint anybody since these interactions indirectly shape my career, connection, and so on. Seeing Shane's and your response do inspire me mostly to just brush it off but I am still just an afraid little girl inside.
I so needed to hear that, I'm currently really struggling especially with fat phobia as you mentioned Mia. Thank you so much for your wisdom.
Hey Mia, great video as always. This is a bit random, i am wondering whether you are still caffeine free after the video you posted talking about it. I am trying to quit, (have been tapering down the past week) and am feeling very tired. I hope i feel better soon!
I actually currently am off coffee! Or trying to be, probably having it once every two weeks. It is so much better for my anxiety as I'm very caffeine sensitive. I find I'm more likely to drink alcohol to bring myself down from that high, not to excess, but just not necessary or for fun. Stick with it, drink lots of water and rest!
@@WhatMiaDidNext Thank you! It's a tough habit to beat but I think it will pay off. :)
Thank you for another gentle nudge in the right direction for the internet! 🙌🎉❤
Something about you is just glowing today. I really love your top and I always am READY for a new Mia video. I hope you are in a good headspace and are doing okay love. Xoxo 💟
I love Shane with my whole heart and the way people judge and talk about him kills me. It shatters me every single time I see how it effects him 💔 thank you for speaking on this with such intelligence and grace. I subscribed ❤️
I’m not really personally a fan but I don’t think you even have to be a fan to see a person suffering and feel broken for them. Nobody deserves this kind of scrutiny ESPECIALLY because anybody with a single brain cell knows Shane Dawson has struggled with his body image and weight for his whole life. Ugh. Some people. Seriously.
Hi Mia. Just wanted to send you a huge virtual (and non-weird, considering we don’t know each other) hug. I think you’re amazing. I know you’ve had a huge 18 months-2 years from what you’ve shared and I thank you so much for being honest about it all in that you took a break and let yourself work on you to get yourself and keep yourself ok and well. Life keeps happening, no matter how far we get in to a “better” or “recovered” space. (I don’t have an ED diagnosis, but experience many other mental health issues).
And even if you had to go from TH-cam and I never saw you online - I would know you’re doing what you need to do. And I think that’s an amazing thing to learn from what you shown and shared while you’ve been on here.
So thank you for the videos you’ve made lately. But just a very messy and badly written comment to say you’re amazing and to send you encouragement.
And also sending out encouragement to all the lovely people watching Mia today )or whenever you’re watching this). Keep going. One step at a time. Life will keep happening, but there’s always help and support to see you through. And if you’re on you’re own at the moment, remember that there are people out there who care about you and can support you, even if you haven’t met them yet.
Ugh sorry, ramble
I haven't left my house in over a year...I needed to hear this so much. Thank you for your light and kind spirit. I hope it spreads to everyone who needs it. Peace and self love to everyone✌✨
I had doctor's try and say i had an eating disorder and was bulemic when i was a young child and after many years it was undiagnosed acid reflux which led to barretts esophagus, now i have to be checked every two years for throat cancer because of the damage. Then as an adult i found I have a genetic kidney disease that doesn't rear it's ugly head til age 28 and dropped to about 20lbs underweight. I had doctor's saying i should be glad to be so thin after years of being borderline overweight but my body was shutting down. when people ask my secret to being "so skinny" i just sya kidney disease and walk away. People are just messed up and rude
This is not what Gillain said, it’s what people heard. She didn’t say Lizzo was not talented. She said being overweight is a health concern, which it is. She didn’t say that she shouldn’t perform or her talent wasn’t appreciated because she was fat. People have to separate their self worth from their weight.
But why does it MATTER if Lizzo is overweight? She's out here making music and entertaining people, not telling people to gain weight. Lizzo didn't ASK for Gillian's opinion.
the cranky foodie The interviewer asked Gillian for her opinion as a health professional. Gillian didn’t say Lizzo had to lose weight. She simply said when she thought of Lizzo she didn’t think she was great because she was overweight. She thought she was great because she was a good singer. She said we should celebrate her talent not her weight.
Gillian then went on to state a truthful fact about the risks of being overweight which are simply truthful facts. Unfortunately, persons with eating disorders take these statements personally because they have issues with their weight. They want to pass those issues unto the rest of the world. The number of women with eating disorders are very small and are usually middle class, white Western women who read too much Cosmo and watch too much Gossip Girl. They believe being thin makes them a good person. In the majority of the world, people care little about weight.
There is a large portion of society who have a perfectly healthy relationship with their body and food. The small section who do not, want the rest of us to edit truthful facts to make them comfortable. If what someone says about your weight offends you, then you need to seek help to deal with your body image. I am not skinny nor do I strive to be. Someone calling me fat, even if it was true, would not offend me because I know my self worth is not tied to my body size. If I’m fat. I’m fat. I’m a still a kind, loving and productive member of society but I’m still fat. If I stay fat, I risk health issues. The decision to become healthy is mine. Becoming healthy does not mean getting very thin but it does mean losing some of the weight to take me out of the danger zone. I have chunky thighs but can run a mile. I could not run that mile as easily if I was overweight. I’ll never be a model but I also will not die of type 2 diabetes. Let’s not glorify women who are clearly out of the normal range for weight to pacify the small about who starved themselves to thinness.
We should be encouraging women to love themselves enough to:
A) not care what anyone else thinks; and
B) want to take care of their bodies.
Loving your body means treating it with respect and constant overeating is just as disrespectful as constant under-eating.
Lizzo is exceptionally talented but the world will not be able to enjoy that talent if she laying in a bed suffering from diabetes. This is not being rude... it’s just a fact.
When Westerners stop attaching weight to self worth, then my friends you will truly be women not scared little girls who are afraid to eat a piece of cake or need the whole world to tell them how pretty they are. This is the problem, not Gillian’s comment.
@@shangreer9060 Oh Shan, you have some really disordered thinking around this topic. I'm not going to argue with you, out of respect to my sister because I don't want to argue with people on her channel, but these stereotypes you're talking about are really damaging, and not true.
I hope you can learn more about this topic, instead of making huge assumptions. Have a lovely day, Shan.
the cranky foodie Someone disagreeing with you does mean they have disordered thoughts about food. I can be empathetic to your sister’s condition but not share her opinion. The problem with this new world is we believe everyone has to agree with our viewpoint. I can try to empathize with why your sister is sensitive to this issue but it will never be a hot topic for me. I don’t starve myself. I eat all foods in moderation and exercise in moderation. My weight is the least interesting thing about me and plays little time on my mind as I go about my day. I focus on family and friends. I work hard at my hobbies and help others. Food is just food for me. Eating cake is just the same as eating carrots. I get this is not the case for your sister and if comments like these trigger her, I will stop making them. Having said so, your sister cannot control what other people say. She can only control how she processes it. I hope she continues to thrive and that at some stage in her life, food will not control her. I may not understand anorexia but I certainly wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Best of luck to her.
As someone with serious body dysmorphia, thank you. Thank you for saying these wonderful things. Because we do live in a very small minded world where fat is considered disgusting. I weighed 400+ pounds and I ate every emotion I had. Once I got my mental health in order, I lost loads of weight with portion control and working out, (no surgery) ( I weigh 160lbs and I'm 5"10). I still have a while to go. But when ignorant people say things like what they said to Shane or they don't know me and just have an opinion, it cuts deep. It sticks with you for months. You beat yourself up because this one INSIGNIFICANT person said something that hurt you. Words are powerful. I still see myself as a 400 pound person because, well that's how body dysmorphia works. The moment I saw him post that, I wanted to hug him because I cried for him. No one deserves to be treated like this. Thank you so much for talking about this and bringing education to the table. Love and light. 💋
Really appreciating this as an overweight person with an eating disorder.
When I was dangerously underweight because of my eating disorder I got nothing but compliments but now I'm a bit overweight people are so quick to criticise and encourage me to try to get back to the body before. Even though I'm so much healthier now than I was back then.
Imagine if Shane did a series of Mia coaching him for recovery?! I would LIVE for that. Obviously though that’s not something many people would want to share publicly though, because recovery is raw as hell. Either way, I really hope he gets help. It makes me so sad to see him suffering from his ED and beating himself up about it.
Shane shouted you out and linked your very helpful video.. which is awesome 💙 I wanted to share something I've learned recently: If you feel like commenting to someone on something they cannot change or fix within 2 minutes, then decline to comment. Meaning if it is a bit of food on the face or a piece of fuzz in the hair .. then mention it if you feel so needed.. but if it's ANYTHING more as in weight loss or gain, clothing mishaps, stains, hair dye or cut mishaps, abilities or disabilities, etc.. you have no right to comment and it would do everyone better to not comment. It's not out business. Anyways, love this video xx
My eating disorder stemmed from a single comment about my weight. I've shifted between binge eating disorder during manic times when I'm excercising heavily to full blown anxiety induced anorexia during depressive cycles. I've been 112lbs and I've been 170lbs depending on what phase I'm in. Comments are not appreciated and they do not help when you are struggling with emotional toxicity around one of the most basic human necessities that is food. And they are incredibly ignorant to assume laziness or enabling when you only see one very specific lense of someone's life.
Thank you so much for this as someone in recovery for an ED. Shane's being open about his ED struggles is what actual got me into treatment. I am forever thankful for him. My heart shattered when I saw him post that tweet. People need to understand how dangerous words can be they can trigger relapses or worse. We battle with our brains and bodies everyday we don't need our nightmare confirmed. I'm glad he took a break and that he has a loving fiancé plus amazing friends who support him. I am also so thankful to people like you who actually care, understand how harmful comments like this can be, and who are helping educate others to make this a safer space for us all 💜
Nobody knows what is going through someone's life. It is really sad that we enjoy putting people down. I've been dealing with eating disorder for so long and it's not easy or seeing people saying saying 'just stop eating'. It really affects you when you know you've been struggling with this for so long and someone brings your insecurities and says your thoughts out loud. Be kind. Spread love ❤
And Mia, details aside, thank you so much for still being here, our voice of reason and experience. Hope you can continue with this channel!
I found your video through Shane’s video. He has you linked in his description box.
When she makes a disclaimer about it being a rambling video but she's so well-spoken and articulate, you can't tell the difference lmao
This made me chuckle, because it is so true. Mia is my sister, and she's always articulate, 99% of the time!
just came from Shane's description!
I’m SO happy to see you back on here and doing it YOUR way!! I hope you’re truly enjoying putting out these videos and doing so without putting pressure on yourself because they never ever disappoint ❤️
I love you...this resonated so deeply for me...i have had all types of eating disorder but i have always been overweight...
Honestly I've relapsed into Atypical Anorexia. This relapse comes after months of making strides towards recovery. I won't fully blame the negative comments I've received over my body over the last few months, but from hit after hit, I fully succumbed to the relapse
Okay so you just gained a new subscriber :-) your understanding of the situation and your wisdom in presenting the issue is just everything!
I made a tweet about this... some people just love to bring others down, dont be that person
Mia, a fantastic video and yes we all need to be accountable for what we say about others and make sure we're sensitive and considered. All people deserve respect and compassion, regardless their identity, size and all other details of what makes them, them. Much love Drina 🙌💖
Thank you for being a place on TH-cam I can always count on to feel okay and heard.
Sometimes I feel like my home page is full of triggering nonsense even though my direct subscriptions (including workout channels etc) tend to be pretty body positive and happy. The recommended associations to other channels really need to improve :/.
I'm really struggling with the fact I've put on weight and won't ever be a size (UK) 6 ever again. Thank you Mia for this channel
Shane just gave you a special thank you for this in his latest video information on the Shane Glossin channel :-) xx
So eloquently said! ❤️
Very well said!
Thank you for making this video. This message is so important. Thank you for being informed and kind💕
i know shane personally and he REALLY loved this video. thank you on his behalf
You are a f**ken legend Shane! 😎 I get so amped when I see you have a new vid. Wish your stuff was easily accessible here in little old NZ! 😢
Seeing his response to this broke my heart. I've been a fan of Shane since the beginning and anyone who is a proper fan knows his struggle with food and his weight. He's an incredible person who does incredible things for the people he loves. Maybe people should focus on that instead of something that is going to potentially trigger someone.
Edit: As a big person, people totally make an assumption about me before they know me. I honestly hate buying junk food and won't go to fast food restaurants because people make assumptions and it makes me feel disgusting. I actually eat really well and am going out of my way to lose weight. Fatphobia is definitely something that needs to change. But then you shouldn't judge anyone for how they look.
Great video- but where did you get those gorgeous earrings!?!?
Beautifully put.
What a great response video. This hits hard. I wish some of my extended family could see these videos.
You talk with so much passion and intelligence and I find it inspiring. Thank you for the video
This video is EVERYTHING. Thank you 🙏 💜💕
Thank You 😊 ❤️❤️❤️
Love ya✨
I think people are rude an should just keep that crap to themselves
I dont know you, but I think I love you! 😊 I wish more people had the mindset you do. Shaming for any reason is so wrong and so incredibly hurtful and damaging! Mental health is no joke. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and please keep spreading that message!!💙
I was the one that made the comment. I’ve tried reaching out to Shane on various platforms to explain my comment. My comment was in NO WAY body shaming. I have lost over 100 lbs (from 300 to 185) and I’m well aware of the struggle. I empathize with Shane and my comment was actually in defense of his struggle. It was taken totally wrong by Shane and I’ve tried repeatedly to clarify it, but it’s taken on a life of its own. Pretty much every sensible fan that’s confronted me about it has changed from coming at me defensively for Shane to understanding what I meant and saying they hope I can get a hold of Shane.
Specifically, I KNOW Shane is self-conscious and unhappy about his body. But it’s like every other video shows Ryland putting an entire serving tray of Oreos on the kitchen island or piling food into his mouth. I think all of Shane’s friends mean well, but I don’t think they quite realize how much they feed into his struggle. It’s like drinking booze in front of a recovering alcoholic. I want the best for Shane and unfortunately, the screen shot he posted left out me saying that very thing. “I want to see you both happy and healthy”
I had even gone so far as to admit that my comment was unsolicited, but it was heartfelt and coming from a place of love. I know that may be hard for a lot of people to wrap their head around, but it did.
@@Zeta9966 Hopefully it will be a learning moment for you to not comment on anyone else's weight.
Fatphobia (and therefore undetected or un/mistreated eating disorder sufferers) has horrific consequences for everyone, just as weight discrimination! Higher weight people are being discriminated against, belittled, shamed and de-valued, and thinner bodied people internalize the fear of fat and either stay stuck in their ED or live in constant fear of their bodies change. It's just absolutely horrendous.
Agreed, it hurts people all around the board, whether they're vulnerable to eating disorders or not. Absolutely love your work and podcast Meret - I am always sending episodes to clients and they make such an enormous difference.
I couldn't agree with you more.
I think Shane is so beautiful both inside and out. I am so happy that this video cheered him up
Ayeeeee shane plugged ur video
It's bananas.
Thank you.
Wow. What a fantastic video. Thank you for sharing.
Very well put!
If someone can’t change it in 10 minutes don’t comment or criticize it. Great video.
I love how directly you always cut through any excuses people make for fat shaming. It's bigotry, clear and simple.
Thank you so much for making this video.
People think that it's as simple as telling an overweight person that he is fat, and that is going to make them lose weight. That they are helping the person by talking to them about their weight. What it actually does is it sends the person into a depression and actually makes them eat more, because a lot of people find comfort in food, so when they are depressed, they overeat because it makes them feel better for a short time. And when the food high passes they become even more depressed and the cycle begins again. So if you are thinking about commenting about someone's weight, unless you are a mental health professional or the person asked for your opinion, shut up and keep your opinions to yourself. People need to understand that obesity is a HEALTH CONDITION, and it can have many physical and psychological causes which cannot be determined or cured by an idiot behind a computer keyboard.
There are still some people who don’t get it. Nobody is saying it is healthy to be overweight (nobody sane). We’re saying it’s totally none of any of our business because we never know what the person is going through. It’s not on me nor you to tell someone to lose weight because for all we know...they can be having an internal struggle and our words may drive them to even further suffer. Just, we have to have more compassion.
I hope that Shane knows that there is no shame and could be very helpful for him to block/mute certain words /phrases. Might help if he just doesn't have to see and deal with comments mentioning weight, fat, body etc . I know that if I was a youtuber I would for sure do something similar.
Thank you for making this video. I'm heartbroken and angry that someone would make such a harmful and nasty comment. I have suffered with an ED for 24 years and have dealt with other people's comments that have affected me to my soul.
Shane is someone who I admire so much. Every video he releases is a bright light in the dark for me. He makes me laugh like no one on this earth.
People need to change their mindset and just be KIND 🌻
Ok wow. I have no words to describe how horrible this is and how sorry I am for Shane. No one should have to endure this kind of comments whatsoever, let alone people who struggle with ED and mental health issues
never comment on someone’s weight weather they’ve lost or gained it, you have no idea how they got there and it could be fueling an ed
Thank you so much for this video, this was needed ! Hope he sees it too
Oh my God just found your channel via Shane Dawson loving you loving your message.
It always makes me sad when Shane's ED is obviously being loud in his head. He's a beautiful soul and he just feels so bad about himself sometimes. It hurts.
Great video, I couldn’t have said it better myself. The entitlement of people these days ruins it for everyone else. Thank you for making this video, Shane is an amazing person and I wouldn’t be able to loose all that weight like he did.
Who is this girl? I love her! 💗
I have no idea why people comment on his weight. He is at a perfect weight in my eyes people have no emotion to how much this can hurt people. I also suffer from a eat disorder where I dont wanna eat when my parents put something in front of me. Shane may think of himself as fat, ugly and gross but to his viewers he is a great, wonderful, adorable, sweet human being. His fiancee even think the same as his viewers but ryland loves him so much. I dont think anyone should make comments about other peoples weight or physical appearance
Well said. 🤩😍
I love Lizzo. I saw her for the first time at the Brits. Her weight is her own business ( not Jillian Michaels either).
Really proud of you, Mils. 💖
Great video! Not only could everyone use some education on eating disorders, but everyone could also use education on empathy. BTW, LOVE those earrings. :)
Hey Mia
Hey Carley!
Shane just perfect ❤️
Excellent video as always lovely lady x I can’t believe people still feel the need to pass judgement on another person’s figure - when will they ever learn that if you *ASSUME* u make an *ASS* out of *U* and *ME* 🙄
So devastating about the horrific event that happened involving Hannah Baxter, her three beautiful babies and her estranged husband in Queensland 😔 I can’t get over that sad tragic story. I read somewhere online that her estranged ex husband had been very controlling and abusive to the point where she (Hannah) developed an eating disorder to appease him. Would you ever touch on this type of abuse sweetheart such as where to seek help and guidance if any other women were to go through similar events because there’s not a lot of information available mainstream unfortunately, Domestic Violence Australia does incredible work but would they cover it or would it be something to contact BeyondBlue; another amazing foundation or would it be 1800RESPECT or The Butterfly Foundation? Is it a police matter? Before it reached such awful levels (the tragic aftermath) apart from reporting the actual physical violence, who could she have turned to, or any woman have turned to, if they are in that similar situation. It’s so uncertain and that’s why I think women undergoing these horrific circumstances feel uncertain where to go and they feel as though if they do speak up they won’t be taken seriously and will be ignored so they try to deal with it all on their own. I’ve been thinking about this ever since I heard about it and it breaks my heart. It’s one of those horrible news stories that I don’t think ever really leaves your headspace once hearing it 😔 sorry for the manifesto but I wanted to run that all by you and ask an expert on what avenues a woman in similar circumstances to Hannah Baxter would have to go down? 💕
I couldn‘t believe it when I see that comment. He has an active eating disorder!! how dare they make comments about his body like this??
how dare they say exactly what his eating disorder probably tells him everyday!
💙💙
I love you Mia!!!