@@KA-gy3lz Also, if you read the comments that joke is a year old and has had several different people play the neighbor. And also, he's a US Senator so he would not be required to live in the state capitol. He probably has a home in DC. though. lol yourself
I think more highly of Ted cruize now 😂😂😂 a man who will have a conversation like that is searching for the truth. I think I have had that exact conversation before.
@@nzbg1132 He lives in Texas. The giveaway that it was Ted Cruz was the voice imitation. Also, Ted Cruz is a creepy, slimy piece of shit, as this Texan can confirm. :)
I turned it off (last night) after 10mins. His delivery was terrible & I hadn't laughed once. Felt like he was just talking and not telling jokes. Idk it was weird.
The video description calls this “bonus material.” It’s not in the special. It’s pretty common to film a longer special and edit it down. In fact, I think Neal Brennan mentioned that Mulaney’s special was edited down from about two hours.
Ya, rich Republicans all live in Liberal Bastions. The fox news paradox, in that every one eithet hss their main residence in New York City or San Diego.
Didn’t know this existed. Ted Cruz clip comes up on TikTok where he is denying it for a podcast… and just the way he denied it convinced me that this is nearly verbatim more than anything I’ve heard in my life… wow.
I thought Ted Cruz lived in Houston? It wouldn’t surprise me if he had a home outside Austin, but… how much time does he spend between Texas and DC anyway?
Not sure if an accidental or intentional misquote, but makes it sound like he’s saying he hates his other colleagues more than Ted Cruz. Actual quote: “You have to understand that I like Ted Cruz probably more than my colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.”
I don't live in any kind of political "bubble" whatsoever. But, the punchline to that story has left me speechless. I mean, even if TC is 100-percent right, why is that nonsense even coming out of his mouth, especially in a very public, open space?
That was just Teddy's politician style way of handling his legal requirement to identify himself to his neighbors.
Thanks for killing the joke.
Legal requirement??
@@nsnbc6093
I have no idea what you mean, I assure you Ted is still very much alive.
@@SAIBOT64 are you on drugs or just stupid. Explain yourself. You just made zero sense.
@@civil_villain you can't out random me. I know you're full of shit.
Props to whomever is managing the uploads for not ruining the joke with an obvious title.
Completely agree!!! ❤
Intern understands views = money
I know comics make up or embellish stories to make them funnier but I'm 100% sure this really happened exactly like Tom told it.
It was disturbing so I looked it up. Segura lives in Austin and Cruz in Houston.
@@lucyscottwalker2203 Ted lives in Austin too... It's the state capital and he's a Texas senator. That's kinda a requirement lol
@@KA-gy3lz Left wing media says Houston.
@@KA-gy3lz Also, if you read the comments that joke is a year old and has had several different people play the neighbor. And also, he's a US Senator so he would not be required to live in the state capitol. He probably has a home in DC. though. lol yourself
You would like it to be 100% true you brother f......r
1:53 that's when you know it was Ted Cruz
Tom's now going to have both Cruz & Garth Brooks plotting against him.
Ted is the Zodiac Killer, so he and Garth have a lot in common.
Worst supervillain team up ever.
Garth: I have his arms, Ted, you grab his feet.🤣
And the whole goddamn state of Louisiana
I think more highly of Ted cruize now 😂😂😂 a man who will have a conversation like that is searching for the truth.
I think I have had that exact conversation before.
Tom is just pissing off all the serial killers
Tommy lives at 4701 Island Cove, Austin.
where are the bodies, Garth?
also... where are the bodies, TOM? want me to believe you haven't killed at least half a dozen hookers? try again bald guy
......huh?
sorry what?@@captainmerca341
Someone please check on Ted's daughter...
5 months and only 4 likes?!?!?! That comment is gold ✨️ 👌
You and Tom segura are disgusting partisan pigs
When he says "Myeas" I lost it 😂
I actually had the exact same conversation with the Zodiac Killer
... who may or may not have been Ted Cruz...
@@JaAyJaBe**allegedly**
I saw that coming from a mile a way and it still made me laugh.
Wait, what did you see coming? That it was Ted Cruz or the daughterf'er part?
@@nzbg1132 He lives in Texas. The giveaway that it was Ted Cruz was the voice imitation. Also, Ted Cruz is a creepy, slimy piece of shit, as this Texan can confirm. :)
Same question, with an addition. If you knew it was cruize, did you already know the comedian lives in Texas?
@@janick01ifyyes he publicly moved to Austin during the pandemic
I can totally see Ted Cruz having this conversation, along with just about every other Politician.
Not ted he lives in Houston.
I can totally see Ted Cruz contemplating if Tim Ballard is for real. "Hey, let me ask the new neighbor comedian a well disguised question!"
Facts
Yeah it was getting tough to narrow it down
Was there a white little dog at the door. The one he left when he high tailed it to Cancun?
Punchline was worth the wait 😂
Well done Ted, you're one step closer to being a normal human being. Keep it up!
Journey of a thousand miles
He's actually one of the most upfront and direct politicians there is
4 applause breaks in 4 minutes.
This clip is better than the entire special. It really feels like his best style of comedy and not all that other stuff.
I'm a big fan but this latest special wasn't my favorite. Felt a bit too referential and too fan serving.
I turned it off (last night) after 10mins. His delivery was terrible & I hadn't laughed once. Felt like he was just talking and not telling jokes. Idk it was weird.
@@BeboRulzhis comedy has been that the entire time. They're "mostly stories" lol
@@BeboRulz that's his comedy, always has been. He tells stories.
@@michael3448So he’s a story teller, not an actual comic. Jokes should have punchlines.
I didn’t remember seeing this in the set on Netflix, am I crazy? I remember it being in his set live
Nope, me neither
The video description calls this “bonus material.”
It’s not in the special.
It’s pretty common to film a longer special and edit it down. In fact, I think Neal Brennan mentioned that Mulaney’s special was edited down from about two hours.
I read that they cut it to to keep the special at 65 min, despite the Netflix exec loving it.
Live when I saw it, he said it was the PetCo CEO
Same, I started to question my attention span and how much I must have missed
Tom the GOAT
😂😂😂. This is better than any joke he ever said.
@@freedomprophet2891Ted isn’t going to have sex with you.
For those saying this story is not true because Ted lives in Houston… Ted has 6 properties in Texas, including Austin.
Ah Austin, the California of Texas.
It still isn't true.
Tommy saggs address is posted and so is teddys. They live in the same neighborhood. Google maps confirmed it
@@KennethSponburgprove it
Ya, rich Republicans all live in Liberal Bastions.
The fox news paradox, in that every one eithet hss their main residence in New York City or San Diego.
That was perfect!
this is the funniest Tom Segura ive ever seen
LOL, the name dropping made the story even that much funnier. :)
When I saw him live he said it was the CEO of pet smart
Ted's time here on the planet learning our ways is paying off I see.
Didn’t know this existed. Ted Cruz clip comes up on TikTok where he is denying it for a podcast… and just the way he denied it convinced me that this is nearly verbatim more than anything I’ve heard in my life… wow.
Heard this joke when he was still touring, definitely wasnt Ted Cruz at the time. He just changed the names.
@@tbeninjatigeryou know nothing About comedy
Nah it wasn’t him,he’s tried with other peoples name before
On his Podcast Segura basically confirmed he made it all up.
@@cameronjudson5313 link
I hope AL Franken has seen this, because he would love it!!!! Also, after knowing who it was, I can ONLY hear it in Ted's voice.
I love that when Ted Cruz claimed “lefties thought it was funny bc lefties hate me”, Tom said “everyone hates you equally” 😂
Good ol Teddy boy…curious and inquisitive as they come 😂
This should have SO many more views.
Based af lmao
What a punchline! BAM!!!
Love this!!!
That was the funniest passive aggressive jab I've heard all day!
Something about his delivery here reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld.
First of all that’s a fucking sweet interaction to have with a US senator. He took a shot at comedy and in my opinion he nailed it.
This guy's a hoot.
2 things about politicians:
1) they're much dumber than you think
2) they're much grosser than you could ever imagine
tom segura admitted that this is made up and not true.
YES! Thank you!
Ooooopsss u did it AGAIN
2:13 When he said “I could not make this up” is when I knew for a fact he was making it up.
Bro, the end 😂
The way he dropped Tes Cruz's name
That’s just Ted Cruz being polite and very Texan
Fricken HILARIOUS🔥
Bravo Tom!!!
Makes the video of his daughter trying to avoid his kiss a bit creepier.
I doubt this conversation actually happened, but I can definitely imagine Ted Cruz having such a conversation.
tom segura is a wild man 💪
This man almost became President.
Oh, Tom. You should always check your neighbors before you move into a neighborhood.
I believe this. No one he could make up something this bizarre and strangely on brand.
Imagine paying for Netflix and only getting half the show 🙄
Meeeaaahhh
I thought Ted Cruz lived in Houston?
It wouldn’t surprise me if he had a home outside Austin, but… how much time does he spend between Texas and DC anyway?
Austin???
I believe Houston and Austin are like an hour away from each other
@@gwpeoples We're on the internet, where such things are easily searchable. They're closer to three hours apart.
He does, and Tom lives in Austin. It's a joke.
@@gnlilu6972 That is where Segura lives.
Wish this was a real story 😂
Thanks Ted
This channel name totally loves blockbuster.
In the live show he did in my town, it was the CEO of RiteAid
Are you calling him a liar 😂
@@chrispanico2276 its just a bit
I pictured Matt Gaetz in my head
He's (unfortunately) a congressman, not (fortunately) a senator
Mmmyaaaaa
Where are the bodies? 😅😅😂😂
Ted Cruz lives in Austin lol
so does tom
@@c.wrightdaniel204 Yep
He says it's Ted Cruz at the end
Ted Cruz is a melted crayon
From what I saw, he lives in Houston?
Please enable captions. I would also like to enjoy this clip.
Sounds like Ted was calling him a pdf
Shout out to Tom for this.
Karen Rogan probably shit his pants when he first heard it.
I like Ted Cruz more than most all of my colleagues in the senate. And I HATE Ted Cruz.
-Al Franken
Not sure if an accidental or intentional misquote, but makes it sound like he’s saying he hates his other colleagues more than Ted Cruz. Actual quote: “You have to understand that I like Ted Cruz probably more than my colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.”
@@OEx25 accidental. I was too busy to look up the podcast
I got a sticker of ted cruz that says around him “this man ate my son”
Friggin Ted Cruz 😂
Was this part cut out of the special??? I don't remember watching this at all
Crazy how the anti-censorship free-speech-warriors haven’t made a peep about this one. I totally have no idea why…
Really mind boggling isn't it?
I just watched sledgehammer on netflix and this wasn't in it. Is it cut out or different versions for different regions?
MEEEEHHHH!!!!!
Nice 😂👌
Reddit Pastor Arrested
This clip was better then the whole Netflix special.
Yikes, thought this sucked.
@@CharlieCoops special was not great either. Feel like they’ve been rushed and going downhill for a while
@@CharlieCoopsSaid nobody with functioning brain cells
@@spacequack5470Grade A genius over here folks! 🤡
Segura and Chrysler tell stories. They have no punchlines to their “jokes”.
@@Imnottapinata What's your favorite flavor of window?
ole Theodore the cowardly lion
How many people knew it was Ted Cruz after like 15 seconds?
Day. Made.
He's never even met Tom Cruise
Can't believe Tom met the son of the guy who assassinated John F. Kennedy
Ted’s the guy with the fugly wife, right?
He met Trudeau?
@@robbieomeara1649🙄 , sure, jan.
That is the funniest shit I have heard.
I don't live in any kind of political "bubble" whatsoever. But, the punchline to that story has left me speechless. I mean, even if TC is 100-percent right, why is that nonsense even coming out of his mouth, especially in a very public, open space?
Because he's doing this thing called stand up comedy
That story is true
Now we know why Ted Cruz's daughter hates him. That poor kid
Who's here after the Ted Cruz response went viral?
Did this really happen? I'd like to believe it did. =)
😂
Didn't he say this joke before and it was the Walgreens ceo? Saw him live in NY
I think the term is used loosely. Basically someone who screws over or disappoints their mother.
what do they put on bald peoples heads so it is not shiny under stage lighting?
Tom is a bad neighbor.
I’ll take things that didn’t happen for $200 Alex!
I'll take shit that never happened for $1000, Alex.
Ted Cruz pedo simp
You would be Ted Cruz in this joke. 😂
Whether it's true or not. Hell, it's even funnier if it's actually not true. Yank on peoples chain a little bit lol
Do a Lindsay Graham one next, Tom!
Is there another special I dont know about?
Wait, I saw the special, this is not in it, right?
I was thinking the exact same thing. I don't remember seeing this part
Where is this? I saw it and I don't remember it? Is it in another galaxy 🌌
it wasn't, I think Tom was supposed to be releasing some clips Netflix edited out of the special. There was something said about it on YMH
Obviously....
🤣😂🤣
That's who I live with
I wonder how strange it was talking to the Zodiac Killer
The thing is, Ted can deny it all he wants but it is TOO easy to believe. This sounds too much like an interaction he’d have
Tom admitted its fake. Kinda weird to use a specific person in a made up story and make them sound bad
Yeah every month I like Tom less. It’s really a terrible thing to put out there, especially since he says I am not making this up.