I just ended a relationship with the love of my life. Past traumas from relationship and childhood affected him and us so much. If he only truly could see my heart’s posture towards him. I only want the best for him, even now. I can’t heal him. He has to do the work.
Been there Ultimately we didn’t want the same thing had to walk away. Best decision I ever made Now I am with someone who loves me openly and the struggle love is long behind me!!
I really think we women don't understand just how many men have never been able to heal from childhood trauma, sexual abuse or deal with the first woman who broke their hearts. All the movies are about how we deal with heartbreak. We here in the US have a who bureau dedicated to violence against women. There is nothing in society to help boys and men deal with the violence, abuse and trauma inflicted by women. The men I've been running across this year have run the gamet on abuses and neglect at the hands of women, mostly their mothers and female caretakers. Men are taught to heal. They are taught to die trying to hold their feelings in and keep it pushing. When I see men confused and in chaos, I ask about his childhood. I ask about his relationship with women as a child and his observations of our (women's) behavior. It's an elephant in the room we don't talk about enough. There are a few generations of men we must tend to, extend grace to, and have mercy for. I don't mean to deal with nonsensical behavior by any means, but if men start to disclose how they were sexually abused by older female caretakers, molested by relatives, or beat like chattel slaves by their mommas, they'd definitely have their own #metoo movement. But we're not ready to have this discussion. My heart goes out to all victims of trauma and childhood abuse, but due to the lack of focus on boys and men victims n societies across the globe, I personally tend to inquire listen, learn, and extend grace. If Yah can forgive me, I must be able to do the same.
@@mischaraine1645 I absolutely agree. We cannot heal them. But if we don't advocate for them to emote, have emotions, deal with emotions, and then ensure THEY have places and spaces with capacities to teach therapeutic ways of healing which are tailored to and designed for men, we're back at square one. Society does not teach nor equip men to emote. As women, it's our jobs to help bring attention to it at least since societies have been designed to accommodate our vast array of emotions, traumas, etc. We even have public support systems and an infrastructure to support our healing should we choose to embark on the journey albeit lean these days. Men, not so much. If they aren't a veteran or lgbtq, they have no resources. That's an issue.
God bless you Precious Stephan when God is in it all we must do is faith and trust the process. A lot of things we don't understand that's why God's Word reads "Trust in the Lord with all your hearts and lean not into thine own understanding but in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He Shall direct thy path". Proverbs 3:5-6. Continue to have a blessed and loving day that's filled with an Abundance of unconditional love, joy, peace and laughter in the Miraculous and on time name of Jesus. Always Love Almeta ❤️🙏🏿😘
I think this is what's happening with my friend and I. Today was just so weird, emotional and neither one of us said anything. I also don't really know how to deal with it.
Fear equals a need to heal, not trusting God to me. I was their. I did the work. I trust God. I believe what he told me. I have NO fear!! Im trying to stay patient and have peace while I'm waiting on God. I know in my heart of hearts, until everything is the way God wants it, until he has finished what he is doing, I will have to wait to be with the one he has for me. That's the only one I want. I'm good.
I have been with this man on and off for a year already, at first he wanted a relationship and I agreed but then he said I am too intense (and I think he is the bare minimum)and I tried to have a big fight for no reason to push him away. Every time I left him, every time he reached out to me first somehow. Now he said he doesn't want a relationship anymore but friends with benefits. This time, he did all the things to treat me right that he used to did wrong to me. I find this touching but the thing is I don't find myself loving him anymore...
Walk away. That man provoked you so that he could just have a 'friends with benefits' relationship with you. That was most likely all he wanted to begin with. You deserve better. Go find a man who is willing to treat you the way you should be treated.
Stephan, I was garded but yet i was the one to say how I feel first. yes he is showing intrest. Men need to say exactly how they feel and what they want.
Which is hella confusing. Because you don't if they really want you or they just tryna play hard to get sigh... You should do a video on guys with avoidant attachment styles
Dr Stan Tatkin has excellent podcasts on avoidant attachment and attachment styles. This is his expertise Personal development is transformative and empowering. 🙏 Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix - Imago Wired For Dating by Dr Stan Tatkin Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters I Hear You by Micheal Sorenson The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Four Agreements by Don Miguel The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman Calling In The One by Katherine Woodward The Queen's Code by Alison Armstrong The Language Of Emotions by Dr Gabor Mate 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman If The Budda Dated by Charlotte Kasi These 2 books define the blueprint of healthy relationships. Can An Avoidant Man Speak My Love Language - Jonathon Aslay podcast
We are just friends he says, but yet i get so many other, signals from, him, i really cannot see myself with any othher man. We really connect, i am countinually praying for this, i believe i could wait for him, ,
It has finally ended. 🙌 and I'm content with it. I know. Go's has the best for me. I realize I was not accepting he only wanted to be friends. But I am now. And I am peace with it cause. God has helped me to be.
Let's face it. Avoidants are looking for somebody to be their safe space without them actually being a safe space for somebody themselves. Literally one day you'll be having a great time and the very next day, he'll be ghosting or blocking and not speaking to me at all for weeks at a time. All I would have to do is ask him a simple question, "How's your day going?" and he would say I was bothering him. He'd do stuff like that all the time when I was just trying to be his friend. Now, what kind of feeling is he fighting? The feeling for craziness?
I'm enjoying Yu!! I hope you are good on the holidays!! Someone came back after twelves years. I've known him since l was 24. I hope God continues to bless Rhonda. Prater ❤️🌇☕🥧😷👩🏾🦱🎚️
😥😥😥 avoidant attachement or manipulation. i dont get it. Im so sad it hurts so much. Avoidant attachement = not safe, Manipulation = no feelings, right?
I Just want to know why would he feel safe to share everything with me including him having a girlfriend but at the same time he give mix signals to me.
So, do they usually return after pulling away? I have shared with you many times how scared he was after losing his wife of 21 years, being a fearful avoidant, and having unhealed trauma from his past which led to the FA behaviour. The Lord told me to wait and has confirmed that so many times, so I know He is working on healing him since he hired an intimacy coach who specialises in avoidant and grief issues since he unexpectedly broke it off in January. I guess I just wanted to know if it is their usual pattern to return to you after extended periods away. He was even afraid of the Lupus the Lord miraculously healed me of as He was healing my deep root of rejection, but even after sharing this with him, he hasn't returned. In fact, we haven't spoken since July. I am keeping my hope and faith and staying strong to God's promise; just hoping for your thoughts even though I know you never offer advice in the comments, even on unique cases like mine. Thank you.
The law of attraction is to let go ! So let go and let God 🥰 Be everything more in the NOW with the continuance by loving You 👑 In that energy everything that belongs to you and for you will happen. This is true LOVE at it purest ❤️ I hope this helped
Saying is fear is very vague, and for it to be fear is confusing but god is not the author of confusion….so religion don’t even get it right…spiritually having intentions desire emotion manifests your reality…love is going to be just that when the person is your person you give all these signs as to why and will no clarity…it seems contradictory from a wide variety of videos.
I just ended a relationship with the love of my life. Past traumas from relationship and childhood affected him and us so much. If he only truly could see my heart’s posture towards him. I only want the best for him, even now. I can’t heal him. He has to do the work.
I have done this same thing. I still think of him from time to time. Praying for you I know how hard this is.
I can relate, same case here😢
I felt this ❤
Been there
Ultimately we didn’t want the same thing had to walk away.
Best decision I ever made
Now I am with someone who loves me openly and the struggle love is long behind me!!
Let. God heal him, might take lo g time. But it's worth the wait I understand what you going throug. My prayers are with you.h
Please men face me
Step up in your full masculine energy
Life itself is frightening
Better to try and fail
Than fail to try
Be a brave hunk
Haaa that was so good 👑
I really think we women don't understand just how many men have never been able to heal from childhood trauma, sexual abuse or deal with the first woman who broke their hearts. All the movies are about how we deal with heartbreak. We here in the US have a who bureau dedicated to violence against women. There is nothing in society to help boys and men deal with the violence, abuse and trauma inflicted by women.
The men I've been running across this year have run the gamet on abuses and neglect at the hands of women, mostly their mothers and female caretakers.
Men are taught to heal. They are taught to die trying to hold their feelings in and keep it pushing. When I see men confused and in chaos, I ask about his childhood. I ask about his relationship with women as a child and his observations of our (women's) behavior. It's an elephant in the room we don't talk about enough. There are a few generations of men we must tend to, extend grace to, and have mercy for. I don't mean to deal with nonsensical behavior by any means, but if men start to disclose how they were sexually abused by older female caretakers, molested by relatives, or beat like chattel slaves by their mommas, they'd definitely have their own #metoo movement. But we're not ready to have this discussion. My heart goes out to all victims of trauma and childhood abuse, but due to the lack of focus on boys and men victims n societies across the globe, I personally tend to inquire listen, learn, and extend grace. If Yah can forgive me, I must be able to do the same.
@@mischaraine1645 I absolutely agree. We cannot heal them. But if we don't advocate for them to emote, have emotions, deal with emotions, and then ensure THEY have places and spaces with capacities to teach therapeutic ways of healing which are tailored to and designed for men, we're back at square one.
Society does not teach nor equip men to emote. As women, it's our jobs to help bring attention to it at least since societies have been designed to accommodate our vast array of emotions, traumas, etc. We even have public support systems and an infrastructure to support our healing should we choose to embark on the journey albeit lean these days.
Men, not so much. If they aren't a veteran or lgbtq, they have no resources. That's an issue.
but women deal with the same thing!
Beautiful😭
Talk.Don t hide.
I really believe this is what's happening with my situation
The EXACT situation I'm in right now!! Lol
God bless you Precious Stephan when God is in it all we must do is faith and trust the process. A lot of things we don't understand that's why God's Word reads "Trust in the Lord with all your hearts and lean not into thine own understanding but in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He Shall direct thy path". Proverbs 3:5-6. Continue to have a blessed and loving day that's filled with an Abundance of unconditional love, joy, peace and laughter in the Miraculous and on time name of Jesus.
Always Love Almeta ❤️🙏🏿😘
Amen 🎉
I fear because I never believed in love
I think this is what's happening with my friend and I. Today was just so weird, emotional and neither one of us said anything. I also don't really know how to deal with it.
Love casts out fear.
Fear equals a need to heal, not trusting God to me. I was their. I did the work. I trust God. I believe what he told me. I have NO fear!! Im trying to stay patient and have peace while I'm waiting on God. I know in my heart of hearts, until everything is the way God wants it, until he has finished what he is doing, I will have to wait to be with the one he has for me. That's the only one I want. I'm good.
This is actually a little comforting. Thank you
I have been with this man on and off for a year already, at first he wanted a relationship and I agreed but then he said I am too intense (and I think he is the bare minimum)and I tried to have a big fight for no reason to push him away. Every time I left him, every time he reached out to me first somehow. Now he said he doesn't want a relationship anymore but friends with benefits. This time, he did all the things to treat me right that he used to did wrong to me. I find this touching but the thing is I don't find myself loving him anymore...
Walk away. That man provoked you so that he could just have a 'friends with benefits' relationship with you. That was most likely all he wanted to begin with. You deserve better. Go find a man who is willing to treat you the way you should be treated.
Stephan, I was garded but yet i was the one to say how I feel first. yes he is showing intrest. Men need to say exactly how they feel and what they want.
Which is hella confusing. Because you don't if they really want you or they just tryna play hard to get sigh... You should do a video on guys with avoidant attachment styles
I agree!
I have suggested this to him about 10 times, because no one is talking about that from a godly perspective.
Dr Stan Tatkin has excellent podcasts on avoidant attachment and attachment styles. This is his expertise
Personal development is transformative and empowering. 🙏
Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix - Imago
Wired For Dating by Dr Stan Tatkin
Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis
Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
I Hear You by Micheal Sorenson
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel
The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
Calling In The One by Katherine Woodward
The Queen's Code by Alison Armstrong
The Language Of Emotions by Dr Gabor Mate
8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman
If The Budda Dated by Charlotte Kasi
These 2 books define the blueprint of healthy relationships.
Can An Avoidant Man Speak My Love Language - Jonathon Aslay podcast
Wow… well needed… thank you for sharing
🔥🙏🏽💪🏽💯
True indeed 👑
Thank you for sharing this video…very insightful!
We are just friends he says, but yet i get so many other, signals from, him, i really cannot see myself with any othher man. We really connect, i am countinually praying for this, i believe i could wait for him, ,
It has finally ended. 🙌 and I'm content with it. I know. Go's has the best for me. I realize I was not accepting he only wanted to be friends. But I am now. And I am peace with it cause. God has helped me to be.
You sure is right 👍🏾▶️▶️▶️ they don't know what want. Like I always say I can't read your mind 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️. Only the one who made it can Jesus 🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️.
Let's face it. Avoidants are looking for somebody to be their safe space without them actually being a safe space for somebody themselves. Literally one day you'll be having a great time and the very next day, he'll be ghosting or blocking and not speaking to me at all for weeks at a time. All I would have to do is ask him a simple question, "How's your day going?" and he would say I was bothering him. He'd do stuff like that all the time when I was just trying to be his friend. Now, what kind of feeling is he fighting? The feeling for craziness?
As an avoidant i agree …
OMG this perfectly describes my last relationship 😂
Sooo what's the sign?
I'm enjoying Yu!! I hope you are good on the holidays!! Someone came back after twelves years. I've known him since l was 24. I hope God continues to bless Rhonda. Prater ❤️🌇☕🥧😷👩🏾🦱🎚️
😥😥😥 avoidant attachement or manipulation. i dont get it. Im so sad it hurts so much.
Avoidant attachement = not safe,
Manipulation = no feelings, right?
I Just want to know why would he feel safe to share everything with me including him having a girlfriend but at the same time he give mix signals to me.
Thanks 4 sharing, because I was like what's going on! Rachel v
So, do they usually return after pulling away? I have shared with you many times how scared he was after losing his wife of 21 years, being a fearful avoidant, and having unhealed trauma from his past which led to the FA behaviour. The Lord told me to wait and has confirmed that so many times, so I know He is working on healing him since he hired an intimacy coach who specialises in avoidant and grief issues since he unexpectedly broke it off in January. I guess I just wanted to know if it is their usual pattern to return to you after extended periods away. He was even afraid of the Lupus the Lord miraculously healed me of as He was healing my deep root of rejection, but even after sharing this with him, he hasn't returned. In fact, we haven't spoken since July. I am keeping my hope and faith and staying strong to God's promise; just hoping for your thoughts even though I know you never offer advice in the comments, even on unique cases like mine.
Thank you.
The law of attraction is to let go ! So let go and let God 🥰
Be everything more in the NOW with the continuance by loving You 👑
In that energy everything that belongs to you and for you will happen.
This is true LOVE at it purest ❤️
I hope this helped
@@crystalnyla It didn't. But thanks?
@@glittercatstudios That advice is true. Now, add this faithful caveat: "All in God's Time..."
So what was the clare sign ?
💜💜💜
I come against the spirit of fear and cast it out in Jesus's name.
🙏🏽🙌🏽♥️
❤
I am not talking to u anymore because u are playing yourself
..
Family is so make up in life bad thing i was happy do good now it lie now because I'm do good family jealous lie
Its either fear or love😅
Weren't you even listening?? He clearly said it is usually both. 🙄
I DON'T THINK HRH CROWN KING MUHAMMAD 💋 IS HIDING HIS FEELINGS OR AFRAID TO LOVE NEITHER AM I QUEEN PAULLINE 💙 VIOLA GIBSON.
Saying is fear is very vague, and for it to be fear is confusing but god is not the author of confusion….so religion don’t even get it right…spiritually having intentions desire emotion manifests your reality…love is going to be just that when the person is your person you give all these signs as to why and will no clarity…it seems contradictory from a wide variety of videos.