Trump's Stormy Daniels Payments, Biden Threatens TikTok Ban: Late Night's News of the Week
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- All the news and jokes you missed from the week of March 13.
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Trump's Stormy Daniels Payments, Biden Threatens TikTok Ban: Late Night's News of the Week - Late Night with Seth Meyers
• Trump's Stormy Daniels...
Late Night with Seth Meyers
/ latenightseth
interesting that they blame wfh instead of the pandemic for negative impacts on mental health. Wfh has been the best thing for my health.
A lot of veterans don't like fireworks either.
Dogs and veterans. That was the joke.
Scollins ought to be proud: that *Old Yeller* joke *killed*.
The Graphics department is just planting Jackal meat, that coffee can looked like it was falling.
"Working from Home is more unhealthy...." it's also a lot less fun... really takes the 'zing' out of Crop-Dusting the Office.
I think it's cute that you think people who work at tesla can afford to buy a tesla.
Regulation good
I used to keep a glass of water on the floor by my bed . I often noticed it had a weird taste Then one day I woke up to a slurping sound and saw my kitty with her face in the glass . I realized that the off--flavour must be kitty spit I got a table to put my glass on "
why would a table help?
Love the upload Mr. Verizon! 😍
You guys should do a bit on DeSantos and augment it with Danny Kaye singing You’ll Never Outfox The Fox but with “fox” replaced by “trump”. Guaranteed laughs from that essential 55-70 demo, and Shumacher probably
The reason the "No fireworks" joke is not funny is due to the PTSD quite a few veterans suffer from, fireworks are a trigger. That was super insensitive to all veterans.
Wally was great on NPR today..
The Francis character was actually modeled on Donald Trump!
Did the graphic of Ron DeSantis have "strike out" above his head on purpose or was that just karma?
Elons utopia would look like the physical version of Twitter
Fireworks is for 4th of July. I don't usually hear fireworks going off to celebrate veterans day. Seems like humans with experience around explosives and have negative memories would also not like fireworks.
That was the joke. 😉
Jackal time. Isn’t Princeton ranked higher than Harvard?
I miss Marnie Sterns....😢
Are we sure that musks utopia isn't just modern work camps with a company store
OH MY GOD, SCOLLINS, NO.
Not Seth calling Tems “this lady”
Aging by the minute 😅
Why are talk show hosts still talking about trump and this nonsense
Ban TikTok and launch every adult who ever used it into space.
Ewwww they Def should've stuck more on heater bottle study GROSS
It's only because people rarely wash them. It's nothing inherently wrong with reusable bottles.
Fun fact... There is actually a Utopia,Texas already...
Dude you forgot the Ford paradox. There's no way the Tesla employees can afford to own one.
there is a lot of pressure on tesla employees to purchase tesla vehicles. a neighbor was pressured into getting one when he worked for them as an engineering intern. i don’t know the details, but i imagine he got some kind of deal
You didn't see that interview seth did with her? Are you jealous?
🎉❤🎉
@@winterwatson6811 no discounts.
Hahahahaha. Tesla employees enjoy stock benefits.
Congratulations on not understanding payment that multiplies.
Seth: *does an Old Yeller reference*
Me, teeth clenched in anger: "Scollins."
I heard that joke and immediately thought, "Scollins? Yeah, Scollins."
~Everybody Everywhere All at Once, except perhaps you, knows about dogs and fireworks~
A Late Night with Seth Meyers jackal
That "car" joke is very reminiscent of my childhood. We played in the road & were always watching for cars so we could get out of the way.
We did too, but we used orange cones or hockey nets to block off street entries. 😊
I liked scollins’ joke (the fireworks one). Also I like the lowkey surprise inspection
High-key😂
I like this compilation of news from the week. Good idea
I agree love it too
Iv already seen them but still love watching the weeks compilation. When Seth made the joke about Venmo and looked off to the side. I expected him to call Scollins out for it. 🤣
"Fathers wouldn't come out of the corn to join them".🤣
I loved the No fireworks idea! Yes, dogs hate fireworks!
Most animals hate them.
@@WaningGibbous And also, they are a big waste of money.
Wearing a hat? idk what to call it like that to really anything and not taking it off is such a dick move. I do feel bad for the people behind her and we've all been there it sucks.
I agree. She went there knowing people seated behind her would not be able to see. She could have worn it for her walk on the carpet & for after parties. She still would have gotten plenty of attention & probably more positive attention.
I live for the moments that Seth throws himself off and has to regain composure.
That's pretty much once per night.
IDK bout YOU guys, but if ever there was a Person to shave one's head in solidarity for, it's Jamie Raskin.
Consider it DONE, Sir! ✨
Dare I say: We ARE Jamie Raskin.
👏👏👏👏👏
Who's Jamie Raskin?
Money doesn't just disappear in a puff of smoke and mirrors. It moves from one bank account to another and every dime can and should be clawed back from this banks investors. It's time to start bankrupting these thieves to the point they can't ever do it again.
E=mc2 - trump
Privatize profits
Socialise losses
❤1
I'm sure they will do that.
It does if u r wealth, owes the bank much and willing to play chicken. Until banks gain the power to put hitmen on defaulters, this is never going to change. Hence, the removal of the protection that would have stopped this is a criminal act. Indict Trump
Elon Musk is absolutely the villain in Octavia E. Butler's book The Parable of the Sower. Has he not heard what happened to Henry Ford's failed city in the Amazon, Fordlandia?
What happened at the end of the LaGuardia joke that resulted in the cut?
People laugh, but the world’s investment people are genuinely concerned that the obviously still weak financial regulations in the U.S. could trigger global economic collapse. Again. As a retired person, I am legitimately worried.
You're right. Investors, investment bankers and venture capitalists have weakened not just the economy while they Hoover up all the money but they've lobbied hard to deregulate the financial sector and remove any safeguards... Not to mention the fact that they've driven inflation like a stolen car so they can go increase profits.
You guys have money? Apes here trade bannanas for other fruit. 😊
“ Don’t stress about stuff you can’t control” is my motto
@@HyperactiveNeuron true that 👍
As a younger person who is also worried, but doesn’t have any money anyway, it’s hard to feel too much sympathy or concern. The generations above us have made sure to leave us nothing.
I see new construction everywhere, yet housing is more expensive than ever. Why? Because people want to hold onto property as an investment/money maker by renting it out. Well guess what? That impacts the entire generation underneath you who is stuck paying extreme amounts just to rent, gathering no savings or equity of any kind as a result.
You can’t watch the value of your saved money go down if you never had any. Something for the older generations to keep in mind if they expect us to care. ;)
Healthcare in Vegas?? Yes!!!
I think everyone, everywhere, forgets about the people who make that city fun (and safe and etc...) for everyone.
Those same people also have families.
Casino employees don't just get off work and run to another casino, you know.
The live and breath, eat and sleep like you and I. (Or is that me?)
"Me"; if you take out the "you and", it's easier to tell which form should be used. I.e., "sleep like me" vs. "sleep like I". The exception is if the speaker/writer includes "do", as in "sleep like I do". People started using "you and I" in places where the other way is actually more grammatical because of overcorrection.
I didn't like the Hepatitis joke. It sounds like you're either mocking tattoo artists as unsafe practitioners in general, which is a very boomer cliche thing to do, or you're implying it must have been unsafe because it was in India, and that's just racist.
Someone in Russia has that drone-fighter collision on dashcam and it should be on TH-cam any minute...
I know he only included the Old Yeller joke to teach Scollins a lesson, but why did I laugh at it more than anything else out of this clip 😂😂
musktown where hope goes to die might even use motto from the umbrella corp.
" "Obedience Breeds Discipline, Discipline Breeds Unity, Unity Breeds Power, Power is Life" and "Our Business Is Life Itself"
Thank you for the laughs!! 😂👏🏻
That Jets joke was brutal and I love it.
I am against fireworks. I don't need to hear a bunch of explosions outside my house. Maybe they could go somewhere no one lives to shoot em off
Fireworks are also disturbing and harmful to wildlife
Is it just me or is the Late Night audience getting louder? I hope they never get as loud as Colbert's crowd…
It does seem like the mix has changed for all of the Late Night uploads.
@@timmeeow Do you think it's just the audio mix? I felt there was noticably more whooping, whistling and howling than usual!
I can appreciate an enthusiastic audience, but only up to a certain level. After that, it gets distracting IMO. It's not a stadium rock concert!
@@SvenElven I track with the audience sounding more rowdy and am in disagreement re:😑 I reckon a technology change is the culprit tho mainly as crew laughter in corrections also seems to have a fuller sound. While not perfect, they should be a reasonably more stable variable.
On that topic, I got the impression that Bill Maher’s crowd has also become noisier, and sometimes a bit disruptive. It seems to take him aback sometimes.
The notion of Putin with a T-shirt cannon is absolutely delightful!
Putin butt nekid with a t shirt cannon for the rest of his life. No. Special. Operations. Toys. Pouting Pootin.
don't matter if reusable water bottles have lots of Bac. You always use it so you are probably immune to anything you could get anyway.
No. Just, no.
I will never use them.
@@goodluckgoofy3354Is it that you like being dehydrated or that you like plastic waste? The bacteria issue is only because people rarely wash their reusable bottle. That problem has a simple solution; plastic waste and the deleterious effects of chronic dehydration not so much.
@@lousialb8962 Yes especially the plastic waste, the oceans are full of plastic! I always reuse water bottles, just rinse with tap (chlorinated) water and refill with filtered water from the tap
Fireworks suck. literally burning loud trash in the air.
Don't worry, Seth, I laughed at the Pee Wee joke!
For your update Seth 😉..your joke about Biden keeping his money in a Folgers coffee can could of been believable if the Folgers can had been in red as that was their color in the day..😉
What day?
@@vshewett4333 then why the black Folgers can behind him?...the mystery continues 😉
0:47 The Folger can is red....
Just terrific! I love it when Seth either has to explain the joke's origin or talks about the writers input in some way. It is such a sweet family -like thing to do. Love this show!
Tik Tok is only part of the problem of digital addiction. The constant fight for our attention has begun to outweigh serious priorities, for some. I see it at work, traffic, grocery store, theatre, symphony, and in homes. 🤷🏽♂️😢🤯
You laugh, but porn-only laptop that you hide from everyone else is TOTALLY a thing!
Do you hide it out in the woods?
Dear Seth, can my band Mythological Horses please play Late Night? Pretty please?
That Libya-beaches-godzilla joke bombed so bad even Russia is jealous.
Thanks Mike - you are right as usual - if your dog is scared of fireworks then you definitely both know and care !!
You crossed my emotional boundary with, "He was my dog.....I'll do it". Bastards. Have SOME restraint.
Jackal here, uh crew you have wav too many days off; tRump could be arrested while you guys and gals are relaxing ⛱️ with Mac Tonight 😅😅😅
I'll bet Melania is dreading having to make conjugal visits. I heard she's thinking of offering Stormy $150,000 to do it for her.
Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, and Seth Meyers all tell the same jokes about the same subjects almost every night. Do they share the same writers or something? I watch Stephen Colbert first, then Jimmy and Seth's jokes on the same subject sadly don't sound as funny as they should perhaps have been.
Seriously, who would get a tattoo from an artist who has been awake and working for 90 consecutive hours?
People who Drunk, and high or both.
You take too many vacation days. Work five weeks then hire Patton Oswald to replace you while you are off breeding wasps in your attic. PS. Hello to the Sea Captain.
I don't wanna smell Musk when the wind shifts. I got here before he was even born. And Willie Nelson talks to me. Now Musk will butt in and...oh, just nah..uh uh.
Well, considering that the Statute of Limitations has expired long ago, the Stormy case is as irrelevant as ... You.
Dude still has TDS after all these years. I'm sure they will perp walk him any day, Seth. Keep praying, stud!
❤ love your show ❣️
Aaron Rogers is one of those guys you think is cute until you find out how batsh*t crazy he is. Yikes.
Do it with out the canned laughter & live ppl so you actually know when you're funny.
My understanding is that human veterans don't like fireworks either.
Seth should retire and let a host take over who works all five weekdays and isn't always on vacation.
it would take some serious effort to be a worse president or statesman than trump and office . Love Seth .
News of the Week is now my favorite late night segment.
I wish we watched tv together again. I miss that.
How do you have a news story about missing Lybian uranium and not go for a Back to the Future reference?
Writers are probably too young for that reference. LOL.
😛😋😋😜🤪🥰🥴😁🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😚😚😚😚😚😚😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Seff, U neva awwowwed to reytyre ... nope, U gottakeep entertaining us luzas ....
Seth takes too many vacation days. Is he secretly French? Jesus
I know I'm late to this, but didn't Gaetz contact someone too young to vote?
Awesome show Mr. Seth and team!
Thank you ❤
If you build it they will come... up with an excuse not to play with you
Loved the Ol' Yeller joke even more the second time around!
I can see the humour in poking at George-American Dream-Santos, but c'mon at this point, you're only making fun of either the democratic system or yourselves outright, he was publicly voted into office, wtf were you people doing to prevent this oversight...hehehe
Seth and all the late-night hosts warned against electing T as Pres. for months. They tried to prevent it - didn't help.
@@lancewedor5306 I'm Not certain I see the relevance...? is george santos really donald trump...? I think maybe someone has some daddy Trump issues to work out...? wanna hug...?🤣😂🤣😂🤣
@@lancewedor5306 and as an outside observer to the American Democratic system---I think Trump is one big test of that system, which I would like to believe will serve justice accordingly and Stand the Integrity test of Trump and his minions---entire different person n' situation, tho point made!---after the Trump-BS, you think you would have been on the look out for his sequel; II-fakes, II-frauds.... 🤪
@@lancewedor5306 or are you saying Seth and other late night hosts warned you of George-American Dream-Santos as well...?
you know that argument makes ya'll sound like pretty simple folk...hehehe🤤
@@jonathanbranum8976 The wrongwing has been voting for the most inexperienced available, refuse to listen to experts, and like anybody who spouts a few familiar phrases --- so of course they find themselves stuck with George. The leftwing has avoided hiring criminals, liars, draft dodgers, and grifters. But the wrongwing has been on a downward spiral of hiring human resources.
To me, Ron Desantis looks more like Alfred E Neuman.
Why did scaramucci call this guy SMART???
I mean a lot of normal veterans don’t like fire works or loud noises….
What kind of bozo goes to the barber and says "let me get the joe biden"
I really like Seth and Amber!
She wasn't actually a voter yet... Only 17
That calculator joke didn't quite add up.
9:19 Give me an shiver. Ive never seen Seth in any frame asides A Closer Look and Interviews with guests.
600% of zero godzillas is still zero godzillas.
I didn't grow up watching David Letterman, but judging from everyone's critiques of him, he always did things a little off the cuff and did comedy true to himself over things true to the mainstream, and I just feel like that's what we're seeing with Seth now. Maybe Seth's not pushing back as much as Letterman, but in this day and age, isn't being simply honest to yourself/the audience and taking a relaxed approach the new version of a radical anti-network movement? The point is that I love this show
Is Seth off this week - I am freaking out
They ban tik tok, but allow 40 dollar Chinese phones with what operating system?
The Stepford neighborhood?
A lot of dogs in general are agitated by fireworks. So are a lot of human veterans.