In a relationship for 20+ years with my BPD partner. It is a balancing act. When tempers are high, space is needed. I think the hardest thing for myself to learn was most of the hurt and anger was not really towards me, but at his self. He would say, just leave, wanting to end the relationship, and it seemed so cold, so hard. It was really his want of not to put me on his emotional roller coaster anymore. I think grace and compassion are a must. You have to want to fight (not physically) for each other. And respect each other. Be willing to understand and apologize and forgive. Be willing to listen and learn, on both sides, of what hurt feelings and what might have set off.
I agree. Been with my pwBPD for almost 3 years and I ve learned too much too, I am even stronger mentally and emotionally, we are trying to be better each day.
I absolutely love your videos.. I'm undiagnosed but after lots of research I feel myself at least in the spectrum. You have helped me understand how to cope with alot of these symptoms. Please continue to vlog on how you are coping and dealing. I appreciate you!!
I'm in the middle of a BPD episode and this is helping me so much! Especially as a man I struggle with the shame of my actions, thankyou for sharing your story. We are not alone.
Thank you for this video. I love how you break everything down. I’ve seen a lot of videos about these topics but it’s always different hearing it from someone who goes “through the same” as me. I’ll return to this video a lot of times. Your voice is soothing and your words are clear, I feel a world bubbling under some of them, you have a lot of depth to you. Thank you so, so much.
Have you ever thought about a chick after you hit them with the final discard ? Or once you’ve done the final discard to a girl , are they black forever ? Do all the memories of that person go away ?
I am in a situation at the moment. I have BPD that I've been managing. My friend moved in 3 weeks ago and we had a great plan. We're both women in our 50's. I thought it would be great. Now her son (37) and his dog (who HATES other animals are here). I happen to have 4 pets already. I didn't anticipate getting so overwhelmed but being stuck in my bedroom with my 4 animals because they've taken over the living room. CONSTANTLY smoking? I tried to gently tell her I was feeling overwhelmed, I don't like my animals uncomfortable in their own home. Any advice? Am I the asshole? I'm trying my best.
I feel like the most important advice would be to consider, and I mean REALLY CONSIDER if you are far along enough in your recovery to be in a relationship. Would it be better to spend time nurturing an identity and enjoyment of life independently without obsessing and depending on an FP? Are you trying to fill the emptiness with another person? Are you in this out of a sense of desperation and addiction? Are you aware of how you could hurt your partner, are you mindful of how certain behaviours are manipulative (even if that is not your intention)? Can you know that you won't split on and discard your partner after the initial idealisation honeymoon phase? My ex-partner has bpd and the hurt and confusion I experienced from being suddenly split on, discarded by phone call and then ghosted after we had extensively planned our lives together has been traumatic. I wish her healing but I also think that if you have this disorder, you should consider that you have a responsibility over how your behaviours affect others. I know it is very hard to live with but please do consider what is best for your recovery and the people around you.
This is a very accurate statement and all of the above should be considered. You as the person with bpd should be aware of its traits and if they are to show up. Unfortunately with bpd it's very hard to understand when you are far enough into your recovery to be In a relationship, and however far you are into your healing process, the individual with bpd will still have all of these traits. It's just recognising them and not acting impulsively on them. Im sorry that you were treated this way and I really hope that you feel better In The future. You deserve happiness x
Are u on any medication for your BPD if so what do u take if u don’t mind me asking as been on so many drugs but nothing has helped and I’m struggling just now 😥❤️
In a relationship for 20+ years with my BPD partner. It is a balancing act. When tempers are high, space is needed. I think the hardest thing for myself to learn was most of the hurt and anger was not really towards me, but at his self. He would say, just leave, wanting to end the relationship, and it seemed so cold, so hard. It was really his want of not to put me on his emotional roller coaster anymore. I think grace and compassion are a must. You have to want to fight (not physically) for each other. And respect each other. Be willing to understand and apologize and forgive. Be willing to listen and learn, on both sides, of what hurt feelings and what might have set off.
❤
I agree. Been with my pwBPD for almost 3 years and I ve learned too much too, I am even stronger mentally and emotionally, we are trying to be better each day.
I absolutely love your videos.. I'm undiagnosed but after lots of research I feel myself at least in the spectrum. You have helped me understand how to cope with alot of these symptoms. Please continue to vlog on how you are coping and dealing. I appreciate you!!
I can be very pig headed when I think I'm right. No way will I listen to anyone once I've made my mind up.
I'm in the middle of a BPD episode and this is helping me so much! Especially as a man I struggle with the shame of my actions, thankyou for sharing your story. We are not alone.
Thank you for this video. I love how you break everything down. I’ve seen a lot of videos about these topics but it’s always different hearing it from someone who goes “through the same” as me. I’ll return to this video a lot of times. Your voice is soothing and your words are clear, I feel a world bubbling under some of them, you have a lot of depth to you. Thank you so, so much.
It can be confusing
Have you ever thought about a chick after you hit them with the final discard ? Or once you’ve done the final discard to a girl , are they black forever ? Do all the memories of that person go away ?
Where I go to feel heard and understood. Have a good day to you too.
Ty
Thank you 💛
I am in a situation at the moment. I have BPD that I've been managing. My friend moved in 3 weeks ago and we had a great plan. We're both women in our 50's. I thought it would be great. Now her son (37) and his dog (who HATES other animals are here). I happen to have 4 pets already. I didn't anticipate getting so overwhelmed but being stuck in my bedroom with my 4 animals because they've taken over the living room. CONSTANTLY smoking? I tried to gently tell her I was feeling overwhelmed, I don't like my animals uncomfortable in their own home. Any advice? Am I the asshole? I'm trying my best.
I feel like the most important advice would be to consider, and I mean REALLY CONSIDER if you are far along enough in your recovery to be in a relationship. Would it be better to spend time nurturing an identity and enjoyment of life independently without obsessing and depending on an FP? Are you trying to fill the emptiness with another person? Are you in this out of a sense of desperation and addiction? Are you aware of how you could hurt your partner, are you mindful of how certain behaviours are manipulative (even if that is not your intention)? Can you know that you won't split on and discard your partner after the initial idealisation honeymoon phase? My ex-partner has bpd and the hurt and confusion I experienced from being suddenly split on, discarded by phone call and then ghosted after we had extensively planned our lives together has been traumatic. I wish her healing but I also think that if you have this disorder, you should consider that you have a responsibility over how your behaviours affect others. I know it is very hard to live with but please do consider what is best for your recovery and the people around you.
This is why I’d rather be single, I don’t know how to deal with my issues even tho im aware of them. I think Reece is far along enough.
This is a very accurate statement and all of the above should be considered. You as the person with bpd should be aware of its traits and if they are to show up.
Unfortunately with bpd it's very hard to understand when you are far enough into your recovery to be In a relationship, and however far you are into your healing process, the individual with bpd will still have all of these traits. It's just recognising them and not acting impulsively on them.
Im sorry that you were treated this way and I really hope that you feel better In The future. You deserve happiness x
@@Geshtafshnifka Have you heard of internal family systems therapy? I've found it really useful for my CPTSD and there's a lot of overlap with BPD.
@@ReeceHendyy Thank you
Are u on any medication for your BPD if so what do u take if u don’t mind me asking as been on so many drugs but nothing has helped and I’m struggling just now 😥❤️
I've heard him mention Sertraline. It doesn't get rid of BPD it just numbs the emotional pain so you can think properly. I'm on them too.
You rock!