Kiseo Chan Yes. The world tends to favor different qualities and personalities than INFPs, and we are “different” in general which can lead to feeling alienated and isolated. I agree that this can impact depression, especially if you feel like you don’t have things in common with anyone else, or don’t feel accepted because employers are looking for something you’re not.
As an autistic INFP, I literally feel like this world isn’t made for me. Many autistics described ‘feeling like an alien’ and ‘speaking a different language’ and I definitely relate. It’s hard to feel accommodated and appreciated. Artistic people tend to be stigmatised in a very work-/(classic interpretation of) success driven, capitalistic society, where money and the materialistic are highly valued. I feel this sense that society expects people who *could*/are eligible to go to uni, *should* go to uni because it’s the valued more than ‘lower level education’. And I fell into that trap. Until I realised that uni didn’t suit me, as I felt restricted. I also felt a lot of pressure on my weaknesses and like I could do nothing with my strengths. And well, the autistic side has to deal with a lot of external stimuli neurotypicals seem to be able to handle. And societal infrastructure and conversational rules are just foreign and illogical to me.
INFP here. And I'm an older one (60) so perhaps in all this time, I've come to terms with myself and know I have to be myself. 1. I dont love everyone. I've tried. I used to have a very kumbaya outlook as a young person but in fact I have a fervid dislike for many people. You went on to discuss noises and Extraneous noises grate on my nerves, sometimes I think I'm on the spectrum. 2. I have to be super upset to cry in front of anyone. I will cry when I'm really frustrated with myself or situation but wont cry in front of anyone unless they are trusted. 3. I can be very organized, mainly with physical objects like my living space, more than paper work. God I hate paperwork. 4. I'm depressed but not suicidal, but kinda cant wait to take that dirt nap too. Its not normal to be happy 24/7 though, humans arent built like that. 5. I've had many friends say they wish they were as strong as me in whatever situation. I've been through a lot, am going through a lot, will go through a lot. Its called life, you deal or die. 6. I am quiet, but yeah, I gotta know you. I can get a little wild as well. I'm not a Chatty Cathy unless we're discussing something along these lines and other interesting or important topics. I can strike up a pleasant conversation with a complete stranger and 98% of the time it is a positive experience. This is something I have worked on for a long time because I dont do small talk that well. Awkward silences ya know. Then I panic and I'm out. *I am a dreamer still, but as you age, reality takes over more.
INFPs can bear a lot upon themselves before they break, but they will react very quickly if someone else (particularly an innocent person or animal) is in any way insulted in front of them. To hurt the feelings of another person is the worst sin in our book because we understand how intense and important feelings are for a person since we feel things intensely. An INFP who has crossed over to the ‘dark side’ knows exactly how to manipulate and hurt a person through their feelings.
I'm 48, and one of the most wise things that was ever said to me was said to me by my sister upon getting out of rehab 15 years ago. She told me that if I utilized my skill at manipulation for the power of good I would do a lot of good. Now, I don't actually manipulate people intentionally anymore, but I do nudge them along. I will point out the good things that I see, but ethically I just don't say things unless I genuinely believe them. So it's kind of a balancing act, I have to keep myself accountable for my behavior. I can see what people will want me to say about them, and I won't give them that if I don't believe it. That actually makes being sober a lot easier. A lot of my bad behavior was based on fear and not liking myself. Once I realized that the only behavior that I can control is my own and that I had to act according to my principles all the time, yet forgive myself if I forget to do that, life became a lot easier. I just find it difficult to parse through everything and way and measure the merits of each individual topic, but I'm glad once I've done it because it makes it easy for me to figure out exactly how I'm going to act in that scenario. Does that compute with you? Here's a fun fact: we are the least likely to be serial killers! So in case you've been worrying about that, have no fear! You will not become Ted Bundy tomorrow and start pillaging coeds and ending their lives in their prime... You're welcome! Have a great day!
The crying thing is SO TRUE, my friends couldn't believe I was an INFP because I'm often "cold" looking , i hide my emotions really well, even from myself lol. I hardly ever cry, i usually cry only when im invested in an emotional movie and I'm all alone in the room, but that's about it.
I cried infront of my mom last week. She just told me how much I look depressed. I don't even know why I cried, i guess it was bottled up emotions. I felt quite good afterwards though
it's always a movie or music for me haha. But yeah, I do NOT like to cry in public or show as much public emotion. But when the *music* starts in during an emotional scene in a movie etc then I'll be crying for sure. Now that I think about it it might be the soundtrack haha. - INFP
Tyler Fender you may need a trigger, like some music that always makes you sad, or some animal video that shows animal interspecies kindness, or even humans being compassionate. There’s always something that can set you off, even if it varies depending on your mood.
INFPs have more of a backbone than INTPs. I don’t understand why INTPs are not considered more of a pansy type than INFPs. With Fe, INTPs are always looking to maintain harmony, whereas INFPs will actually stand up for themselves if pushed far enough, even if it results in group disharmony. It’s one of the most frustrating traits I have (I’m an INTP). I admire INFPs for having the guts do be themselves, no matter what.
It sounds like you haven't known a ton of INTPs, or the one you do know you don't really like or respect. Fe makes them more focused on being accepted, and it doesn't do a very good job for the first few decade or two... the question "Describe what you're feeling right now." always comically stumps them because their emotional acuity is like that of a small child's, so it's easy to mistakenly say they have no feelings, or at least they don't feel much about anything. They want, try, fail, or succeed at achieving their heart's desire like everyone else, and they're some fairly fucking obstinate people if they believe they're being unfairly treated. The same goes for sticking up for others, especially when people take advantage of their beloved friends. INTPs are capable of running into a burning building to save someone they don't know without a second thought, they can bully and be bullied like anyone else, and they can withdraw after repeated alienating social blunders... or they can be popular in their own way as well. I wouldn't be so hard on them, there's a lot there people don't see if they're not into it. You just may have to accept they'll tag into the ring for hours to dispute History, Philosophy, or Star Wars, or god knows what other topics they're conditioned to avoid talking about to the normies... because well, they mutually find each other's pursuits trivial. Yes, more likely they're the friendless guy getting picked on by everyone at school. Yes, there's a marginally larger prevalence for Asperger's Syndrome.. but these stereotypes are miles away from foregone conclusions, and not one INTP trait mandates they be complete and utter doormat. The solution is almost always to seek out support from friends and family. Watch out for blaming problems only on reasons beyond your control, you may accidently believe you're helpless. And watch out for assuming it's better on the other side of the fence... it's the subtle first step towards objectifying whole populations of people. These biases could distract you from seeing how good or bad things actually are if you get hung up on lamenting your flaws or envying their differences.
Fe in INTPs are the inferior function so they usually don't agree with it in the first two decades of their life. They may not be stubborn like INFPs but they do use Fe a lot to hurt people, to be acid and cynical and ironic. We usually only use our inferior function as young as a last resource, like when under a lot of pressure or when put against the wall. So yeah, when young most INTPs will try to not please people, and INFPs will try to not commit to organizations and not make decision at all hahahaha. But when they grow older I find them very similar. I'm a INFP and have some INTP close friends. I see that they try more to please those they like (even if awkwardly hehehe) and they have a good control of aggression against those they dislike. INFPs don't have this proactive caring attitude, we tend to wait someone to ask for help or a shoulder to cry and we tend to hold under stress (even we direct offended) until the line is crossed and we burst all anger and stress into people (or the deadline is so close we have to do this project NOW). It can seem strong but is just out of control hehehe. In fact I can just speak for myself. But I think INFPs tend to get more assertive when getting older and INTPs then to get more caring and able to fit more groups. Whats makes sense having Te and Fe as their inferior functions.
OMG I love INFP’s! You are exactly the type of people the world needs. Your qualities is what is lacking in the world. You people are very beautiful! The qualities that you have to offer need space to come out the way it needs to do. I just know you could be amazing friends too. I wish I had INFP’s in my life to share my deep inner world and knowledge with, because I feel only INFJ and INFP get me in this. The rest of the mbti types mostly run for the hills away from this ENFP. I can relate with a lot that INFP’s say about the need to process their deep thoughts and being, even though I am an ENFP type. Most people perceive me as too deep and too much so I say no more...
Thank you for saying this! I am an infp and my two adult children are enfps. I feel so lucky because at home I get to have deep conversations with people who get me. I admire the enfp confidence and assuredness!
Sharon I found out about something: my sister (and very possibly also my late father) is an INFP! I found out about this last Christmas, when she took the mbti test with me. I was just overwhelmed with emotions, because suddenly I knew. It all fell on its place and made sense to me. We have always been emotionally very connected and close together. I could just cry when I found out. So when I wished for INFP’s in my life, I didn’t know that one of the closest persons I have in my life, is one😳 I also had a very strong connection with my father, my sister and I both were close to him, but unfortunately he made a mess of himself and my sister and I had to let him go at some point. I tried to save him (ENFP style), but he never took advice or was approachable and changed his destructive ways. He broke me by seeing him suffer without changing anything about it. He died eventually. It’s so sad because he was a great man, with so much depth and warmth. My sister is also a great person, but a very different INFP than he was. She fortunately is very stable. Her daughter (my niece) is like me an ENFP and I also have a strong connection with her. Some other funny fact to mention is that my sisters name is like yours Sharon too...I kid you not! This is beautiful ❤️
I’m an INFP and thank you for the lovely comment and appreciation of us! Two of my closest friends are ENFPs , and I love how they are able to bring me out of my shell while being interested in the same type of deep conversations and novel experiences that I am. So in response to your question, I feel ENFPs are very beautiful also!
An INFP meme can be made on the nature of how much they value worth of loved one,how deeply they care for their loved ones INFP getting bullied: ignores and maybe later cries when alone INFP loved one getting bullied: turns into a ruthless person,will bring havoc to the person who dared to hurt his loved ones.
Treasure Mngadi i think it’s a good practice to build into your life. find what gets your tears flowing, get into a safe environment (probably alone) and let rip. your body will thank you for it, as MeAnINFP said in the video. takes practise though. my INTP homie is fascinated by how i sometimes schedule ”cry time” if i’ve been through a lot and done the internal emotional processing but not gotten rid of the nasty chemicals. for me, i have to get it out of me or it will find other expressions in my body that aren’t as benign. i personally think every type would benefit from this but they would probably just laugh so... 🤷♀️
@@AS-jq4lb I introduced her to MBTI recently and I think she's probably going to benefit greatly. Though, of course she'd never tell me. lol (Secretive Fi)
INTJ (+HSP) here. It's awful that people make fun of INFPs"crying all the time". Firstly, it's nonsense, as we learned from this video. And secondly, even if it were true, there is nothing wrong with crying. Whenever I happen to cry, I find it very .. freeing. And it really helps (on a psychological and physical level). It's a terrible thing to make fun of others. Especially in the MBT community. The MBTI is a great tool to better understand yourself, but others as well. It's a shame that some ignorant people rather use it for evil. (And that's comming from an INTJ ;P) I think INFPs are some of the most beautiful creatures on this planet and I'm fascinated, if not mesmerised, by you guys. Oh, and I absolutely relate to the hating ignorant people part. As a highly sensitive person, EVERYTHING annoys me. The are students in uni I wanted to kick in face just for loudly leafing through their notebooks...
Thank you, INTJ ^_^. I'm also HSP. And yes, I relate to that last part but about when students are loudly laughing or not wearing earphones while doing stuff on their phone.
As an INFP the crybaby stereotype really grinds my gears. I've had NT types online try to baby/patronise me. Like, I just want you to be real with me! Don't try to appeal to something you don't properly understand, just be yourself!
Ironically we’re probably those least likely to need others to take care of our emotional well-being because we can do that very well ourselves (if developed) - if I’m feeling down I need help with all the Te shit that I have no energy to deal with!
I agree with most of your points. And as a male INFP, I: -Have been depressed a few times in life, but never once have I been suicidal. -Have not really been a "crybaby" like the memes. I am actually working on it more, to let my emotions out so that I can face them instead of bottling it and being avoidant. I think this could actually be an issue with INFP males, since we do feel things strongly, but in reaction to society I think we often bottle things in (and other types too). -Have not really been picked on. I'm of normal size, and most people who tried to talk to me were simply confused or baffled and didn't know what to do if I was in a quiet mood. -Have been pretty quiet in the past. I used to keep to myself and not know how to engage with people in general. But I broke through that and have gotten a lot better. I still have issues with interacting with people at times, but in general I've made a lot of progress. I guess you could say I'm heavily introverted, but I do have moments where I can talk a lot. I can also be in crowds without much issue most of the time, and once I, for example, get up on stage or in front of a crowd, I can get in a zone and stop feeling anxiety when speaking. (Perhaps I'm just embracing my blindspot, eh? :) ) -Can be judgmental. there's an inner judgment of things and people at times and I am often at odds with it, since I want to treat everyone well. But I think I am afraid of judgment as a result, and I avoid conflict quite often. Thanks for sharing your view and trying to clear misconceptions.
(INFP) Endearing quality: Will tell you off all while making sure to not hurt your feelings... This had to have been the most gentle and considerate tongue lashing dished out I have ever witnessed. Speaks to our ability for self control.
Vulnerability is our strength. I played strong safety in the Big Ten--- no one was tougher than me. People have given me the label of "caring too much" : but that is my strength, not a weakness. I was known as a highly intelligent player--- with a lot of heart. 💗
Great video! My sister and I get along really well (she's an INFP and I'm an INFJ), and she is definitely a whole different person in front of people that she trusts and likes.
i was depressed all through college (4 years) and no one knew about it, not even my best friends. i was so scared my family would send me to a psychiatrist or make me take medication that i never said a thing. i know i'm the best person to solve my problems because no one knows me as well as me. i prefer to work it out by reflecting in the silence of sollitude.
I get that. I'm also in college with depression. If you have high-functioning depression, likely others aren't going to know because you can hide it well enough.
This, I relate so so much. I was very depressed for years, it started in high school for me. I was suicidal at one point...but nobody knew, I hid it so well. It's actually really sad when I think back at it and I always tell other people to seek help when they're depressed but I myself just couldn't imagine opening up about it to someone and actually talking about it, it was too heavy. Like you, I only trusted myself to figure it out and get myself out and I did. I now feel better than ever before, actually. I wouldn't recommend it to other people but yeah...I hope you're also doing better! :)
i am in same situation. i am currently in the final year of clg. i've been depressed since second year of clg. now after 4 years, my condition is worst. i got 1 year drop becoz i failed in 1 subject and i feel like my whole career decision is a big mistake and now i ruined my future. i cannot talk about this to my family. they spent alot money already and they are expecting me to settle..and i dont have any that one "best" friend with i think i can share all those things... so i became emotional person and i cry many times but not in public or in front of anyone. honestly, i dont know what to do. i am getting suicidal thoughts, but from last week, i am doing exercise and walking,dieting, trying to loose my weight...just for forgeting all those things and for good health and to regain my confidence..its working. but i still have inferiority complex and social anxiety.
@@unknownperson-mk1ei Hang in there! About the career decision - I know that feeling as well but it's good to rememeber that there're actually many people who do something completely different from their college major, you're not forever bounded to what you've studied at uni, so don't worry about ruining your life. One guy I went to high school with graduated with a degree in economy and guess what...he's now a sports journalist! My brother is a programmer but he didn't study it at uni, it was his hobby and passion outside of school (though he has a degree within the IT but it was not programming). If you're truly unsure about your path in life, maybe try to go volunteer somewhere for a while or something like that. Being away and taking a "break" from life can help you get a new perspective on life and it can be very healing as well. Exercising, taking walks, eating healthy etc, all those things are amazing for you and they do help a lot so it's great that you've decided to do them. Also meditation, that can be especially helpful with anxiety. It takes time to learn it but if you do, it can be truly life changing. Another thing that helped me a lot were Jordan Peterson's talks/lectures on having meaning and purpose in life, he's a remarkable psychologist and thinker (WordToTheWise channel uploads many cool videos of his talks but there are hundreds others on youtube, if you'd like to have a look). It takes time to get your life together and pull yourself out of that state but it is possible if you persevere. I wish you all the best, I'm sure you'll work things out eventually ❤️
I'm sure I'm an INFP but there are some facts about me that might not fit the stereotype: 1. The older I get the less I express my emotions to people who are not very close to me. I only cry when I'm alone or with people I really trust. People who don't really know me think I'm cold and emotionless. 2. I'm not naive. I don't trust people whose actions don't match their words. 3. I can only open myself up so far to people I trust and I feel comfortable with. The problem is that I don't easily trust people (See point number 2). P.S. I'm a highly sensitive person. I can't control my feelings, but I set healthy boundaries in all areas of my life.
You are beautiful and have such a pleasant energy and personality. I resonate a lot with what you are saying. I’m glad you are clearing out many of the misconceptions and prejudices about our archetype. I’m infp. When dealing with an emotional painful situation I might die and cry inside feeling a really sharp pain that is unbearable but I never show this when I interact with others. Because I don’t want to transfer my concerns to others I put on my happy “everything is okay” mask and once I’m undisturbed and private I let go and cry like a hurt wounded animal and I do it silently so that no one can hear me. Sometimes I have the feeling that people decrease the value of the infp love because they believe in the misconception that infp loves everyone hence there is nothing special in their love. Infp can love truly deeply faithfully and maturely and very few people have this luck to be loved by infp.
svetoslava angelova i would say regarding love that it’s the exact opposite - many people to some extent get our attention (because we’re good listeners and problem solvers and attract people into our lives that way) but very few get our love, which is on another level entirely. i think a lot of people, particularly extroverts, confuse our attention with love and they couldn’t be more wrong. it takes a long vetting process over time to make it into our inner circle, and even then a person’s actions over time determine in which of our concentric circles a person resides. people can move inwards or outwards depending on how they treat us. but most people are never aware of this process as we don’t usually make it clear to others. and if someone is treating us badly, we don’t tend to waste our energy on them more than absolutely necessary.
I think it is because you are a young infp. I promise that when you are older it becomes pretty easy. As you mature, you learn to know who you are and has accepted who you are. You don’t get flustered about other people’s opinion because we don’t care to conform. We just live our lives according to our held values.
One of the biggest misconceptions to me is that we (the INFP) are book worms. Not true. I am a visual thinker and visual learner. I am a very hands-on person. I do better and learn better with hands-on work. Being made to read the literary classics didn't help either. Being special ed I had a difficult time getting through it. I didn't get anything from it or gain a thing from reading Little Women and Little Men. There was nothing I could relate to in either book. When I was in high school I went to an online school. It was hands-on and we did this thing where we would go in a class environment and senior year had the choice of doing music and poetry or science and machinery. I choose the science one first semester because of my love of cars and aviation. Then when it came the second semester I did the music one and didn't exactly like it. They saw me looking at old Soviet airplanes so they let me and a lot of others rejoin the science one.
I would say I’ve have cried in public at times but whenever I do, I don’t like the attention I get. I just get mad at myself for it. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really shown much of my emotions or something like that. And I guess I get reminded of the times where I was or wasn’t cared for. When I needed someone to be there for me. I mean I don’t know anymore, now it’s really just me keeping in my emotions and if I do say something about my feelings. I just regret it and I’d always feel like what I said was wrong, nonsense, or fake.
Just a thought, but as a depressed INFP (and highly disorganized, sorry for upholding the stereotypes lol) I think the suicidal thing can be linked to PoLR Se. Being suicidal is usually a reaction to feeling like you have no power, and when in a bad life situation INFPs and INTPs are more likely to turn their anger inward in an extreme way. I think the PoLR Se is also why people see us as "weak"...because of our Fi, we're unwilling to just believe in fake happy stories about ourselves, but we also don't like to push back against people directly. This is going to come off as weakness to someone who would do those things. But that same quality gives us our "bouncing back" superpower where we can confront really messed up parts of life, because we're honest about it and process it emotionally. This is why we can be more unbiased about moral issues imo. I 100% agree about the crying in public and talkative parts though.
I saw this "crying" thing today in a "fictional INFP characters" video, and they put a scene where Bubbles appears to be on the verge of a reage attack and then she bursts into tears and runs away into the woods... I found it so weird. I really don't usually cry in front of anyone... like... ever...
i am INFP and i am 22. i am currently in the final year of clg. i've been depressed since second year of clg. now after 4 years, my condition is worst. i got 1 year drop becoz i failed in 1 subject and i feel like my whole career decision is a big mistake and now i ruined my future. though i passed finaly but now all my old friends are settled and doing good jobs and i feel lonely. i cannot talk about this to my family. they spent alot money already and they are expecting me to settle..and i dont have any that one "best" friend with i think i can share all those things... so i became emotional person and i cry many times but not in public or in front of anyone. honestly, i dont know what to do. i am getting suicidal thoughts, but from last week, i am doing exercise and walking,dieting, trying to loose my weight...just for forgeting all those things and for good health and to regain my confidence..its working. but i still have inferiority complex and social anxiety.
TH-cam this person:"Jim rohn" he has quote I love. "We all must suffer from 2 pain of discipline and pain of regret. Pain of discipline weighs ounces and pain of regret weighs about a ton. Here's a cool poem It’s Up To Me I get discouraged now and then When there are clouds of gray, Until I think about the things That happened yesterday. I do not meant the day before Or those of months ago, But all the yesterdays in which I had the chance to grow. I think of opportunities That I allowed to die, And those I took advantage of Before they passed me by. And I remember that the past Presented quite a plight, But somehow I endured it and The future seemed all right. And I remind myself that I Am capable and free, And my success and happiness Are really up to me. Poet: James, J. Metcalfe
I read this somewhere: The people you are comparing yourself with are on 10th chapter and you are on 5th chapter. So stop comparing. I'll reach to those chapter at my own pace. This helps me a lot,in gym,in office ,in any skill, you can apply this concept anywhere
Keep on feeling all the alternatives to be better, inside yourself. create a possible outcome inside your head if possible. Remain in it. Sometimes pinches of the fantasy that you create in your head could feel (not become) true ..
I feel that the topic of people making fun of INFPs and depression/suicide should be addressed more. Not only is it harmful to INFPs and people who are actually depressed/suicidal, it’s also giving an idea to everyone else to continue this stereotype which is highly toxic
@@Zee-sj3bq7dm4v oh hi there ya I'm good over all but the occasional out burst of ether dought that my friends care about me or self hatred can be disheartening and make me feel bad I know they will pass eventually and I can get back to being normal and productive but there is also the flip side of the coin were i can be a compleat maniac and loss myself and have vary little control of my actions untill I get told off and then i slip into one of the two negatives mentioned before, all in all the problems that arise from this is that I'm not very productive most of the time, I am enuff to get by, but it gets in the way of things being as easy as they should be,
my observations and comments: INFP: 1# Cry me a river of chemicals 2# I'm trying to love myself, keep quiet, like your in my library 3# I'm organised, but not necessarily for organization 4# I'm not Suicidal or Depressed, i have an existential crisis 5# If your my passion, it will be a down pour cause Noah gonna sail this ark INTP in contrast: 1# I'm a machine, i have circuitry to process my emotions, like the equalizer on 80's boom box 2# GET OFF MY LAWN 3# I organize to have space to find things 4# I can't figure this out, give me some space and time. if i'm feeling troubled i'll self medicate at GNC. 5# You have my humility and loyalty, if you can get shit done like muthafuckin Pro.
Even my counseling professors misunderstand me. It’s hard being so in tune emotionally and sensitive and also externally quite stoic people just do not understand
Thank you for debunking all of these!!! I often felt confused like, I don’t cry unless I’ve been seriously wronged or I’m watching or reading something extremely sad. I actually feel really bad when someone close to someone I know had passed away (or I may even may have known them distantly) and I cannot cry unless I’m concentrating on the person who is crying and feeling how they feel in that moment (then I shed a tear and tell myself to man up and stay strong for that person!). With regards to the whole “not being organised” thing, you’re absolutely right. At home I’m an utter mess and although it drives me nuts, I find it difficult to maintain a clutter free environment although I will try to consciously sort this out once in a while. However, at school or at work my organisational skills are impeccable and yes, I get very annoyed at others for not being as organised if it’s affecting their ability to complete a task in a timely manner as I hate inefficiency in the workplace 😂😂😂 now I know how my partner (an INTJ) feels at home. The last point- sheesh, this one’s a bit of a tricky one as I have an incredibly dark sense of humour (sometimes even more so than my INTJ s/o) but I keep them to myself if I know I’m going to offend others and definitely would not like to trigger other people or make them feel bad about having a mental health problem because (like many INFPs) I can totally relate to it. But you’re spot on - being an introvert itself is a huge factor in determining whether you are more susceptible to depression and anxiety and then add being an intuitive and a feeler and boy, you’ve got yourself a special cookie right there haha! It is ironic how thinking types can make fun of feelers for being feelers (because as you said they see it as a weakness) but even thinkers (especially if they are introverted and intuitive) are prone to depression (they just don’t like to draw attention to / accept it!). I was worried this video would receive negative reactions as INFPs can come across as giving a lecture when discussion things close to their values / beliefs, especially because we can sound rather monotonous when speaking but honestly I was laughing the whole way through at how it was delivered in such an INFP way 😂
1. Crying feels great. I make up occasions in my mind that make me cry but crying infront of anyone... nah. 2. Yep, especially cutlery falling on the floor gives me this slight heartpiercing sting. Though I don't agree with that "yough's screeming at night"- argument: I see it as a sign of them enjoying the moment, it even has the potential to lighten up my mood sometimes since it reminds me that life isn't always this cruel and bland. 3. Organizing is a fun thing to do. But I get my mind stuck in thoughts and random tasks that I easily forget it for days. 4. Well we are prone to depression but dealing with it can be an insightful challenge to deal with. (hope that doesn't offend anyone) 5. Being strong is a subjective term anyways. Only because we don't live up to social standards or show our progress or whatever it doesn't automatically have to mean we are weak. 6. Yep social selection and mood are big factors in this perspective.
I'm an INFP and in my early teens I tryed to see how long I could go without crying to act tough'er and fit in, with the competetive nature of my classmates. I did not cry for over 3 years. This was especially toward a rival I had who was subcontiously wieved as the alfamale in my class. I mean he was the son of the shcool inspector and could get away with everything (even though I know that was not true, but he acted like it, and everyone feared that) (He obviosly got punished bad at home which reflected his behavior in the class). He was also violent at times, burstingly wild and was very strict and yet striving in shcool. He often got the best grade especially in math. Bit of a dictator and punisher that was wild when playfull. Dangerous to be around if not careful. Seems like a rare combination to have a calculating bully who was physically buff, wild and smart at the same time. He made many cry by hitting them or simply being too physically forcefull to his surrounding and I refused to let him internally hurt me or control me. Which is a classic need to an INFP who always hates being controlled by others without their permission. I mean to the core. I used Terminator 2 as an inspiration to make my self tough. Made it my trance to feel like a Terminator at all times or at least in the dangerzones. Cold calculating and scanning surroundings, dont show pain exspressions etc.... Yes you guessed it... Terminators cant cry. All I got to do is to stay in character when needed, which was often back then. There is alot more to this story, but hours writing it here. All INFP's is like a hermit and has the ability to outwheather any storm if they really want to and this little story is a good example of that. It's also a personal record... (I think). Because I stopped menitoring myself and play Terminator after I stopped being around him. My sourroundings where changing so I needed to change and it has been tough to stop being that Terminator and change back to human in social situations after that but I made it (dont worry ;D). This was simply a survival idea I tryed for my situation and to test my self and my potential in it. I reframed bad experiences into challenges I needed to take to grow stronger. For example when people call you a name like crybaby, idiot or stupid are you just going to accept that as truth and believe it? Well I did for many years even long before this experimental exploration I did. I was tired of naively believe what people told me and wanted to find and prove the truth to my self so I could be right for ones. Little did I know that I was almost always right, but had a bad habit of neclecting my gut feeling Fi + Ne. So other people decided what I was or what I weren't so I which was never the real truth so I decided around age 11 or 12 to always test others and my own theories at least twice or reset them and explore that. To see if I could find a newer and more accurate conclution now or in the potential future. Have done that ever since. I learned to take physically pain very well however.... I did tear up a little one time I sprained my angle (it made 2 snap/crack sounds when tripping + twisting it and I fell on my forward down a few stairs in a tag game situation out of a door). I forcefully held everything in and hid my expressions as I had for over a year now and only turned my face towards him when I I thought I was sure I could hold it in (Maybe 10 - 15 seconds later). I almost broke there. "I cant hold this in the pain is too great" I thought. Also this is too serious to play around with so let it go... and to my suprice it whent from unbareble to easy to hold it in and I faced him. My rival who was a proud physically bully & stereo macho type of a guy who really challenged me. Perhaps he was a ESTP or ISTP (Not sure) he asked shocked and puzzled after my fall, "Dont you ever cry?". I said "no, not really" (something like that) and I realized how silly this was. But I couldn't let that stop my roll of not crying. Esspecially not in front of him. As so many others he finally realized he have been underestimating me and I was not what he thought I was when it comes to being tough. Or at least his idea of being tough. He respected me more from that point and perhaps he saw me as a rival now. I outdid him in many ways bc I kept catcing up to him and pull away where he could not follow. I didn't think that was possible for a time, but by following my potential I could do it. I am quite thankful for that today. I learned so much and it tested my limits and found what was beyond those limits and beyond those limits etc. I really needed that push I gave my self back then and the next step was to undo it all again. That's another chapter however now... I can and DO cry a lot more :D. Took me many more years to get rit of that Terminator survival trigger.
I HATE crying in front of people but I really struggle to keep it in im so emotive and my emotions are so overwhelming at times ngl im definitely a cryer
I have 3 close INFPs. They NEVER cry in public and will tuck those emotions inside... until they're alone with a very trusted person and even then, I have to give them permission to lose it... With the exception of one INFP I know. She's very toxic and cry for attention constantly🙄🙄
As an ENTP I just reflect on the overpushing of the dark humor. Its mostly not because I personally laugnhing on it, but I enjoy the consternation of the other people. For me the reactions is the funny part not the joke itself. Its trolly yeah, I know. I dont use it like everywhere, I'm not a blunt idiot, just if I'm in a company where I feel comfortable.
I realize that INFP don’t like to be label 🏷 or associated with something that doesn’t match themselves. The suicidal example is perfect. We can see that she is clashing with the idea of being dead. And, we can see the distaste when she talk about the lousy people, because she see herself as quiet and calm. She also said “ this is not me “ so projecting the best image that represent herself is important. Being criticized is a no no, because, for her, it is bad to judge someone for who they are.
Yeah, I had some pretty dark fantasies about what I would do if anyone tried anything with my cats. They weren't pretty. It was around that time when I genuinely wondered if I might actually be a sociopath.
If they trust you, they will keep complaining to you though in a crying tone, (it's okay I like listening to them) but they don't literally cry. I am an Intp and you're right, I do make fun of infps being crybabies although I know in fact they're not. Intelligent people actually
Once my stepdad was trying to convince me trump isn’t that bad and he said to my mom “I’m getting through to her” when in reality I was just listening to his side but that didn’t mean I agreed with him.
I think it’s less loving everyone and having a tolerance because I genuinely want to know their story and understand their experience. I gravitate towards older people for this reason. And my thing is I like people on the individual level. But as soon as we enter the “group”, I turn into a misanthrope
For me,as an INFP, I rarely cry. Only cried in public once in my life. Didn’t like it at all. Whenever I have its mostly in public. If I realize that I need to cry, I have. I suppose I keep myself distracted so I keep that depression at bay and keeping myself from feeling. That tends to be unhealthy and I realize that, then I go back to finding my purpose and finding my why, then I fine myself free to feel again. If I feel I am fulfilling my purpose creatively , spiritually, being apart something bigger than myself, I tend to not feel depressed or not cry. I am organized at work, but not at home, so that’s correct. Many observations you have are correct as I relate to them as an Infp, but as you say overcoming neuroticisms is one thing we tend to do even if we forget and fall back into that.
6x I cried in public in my entire life. 1. When my dad passed away and we as family travelled up by train not by his driving last drive he gave me n little brother was just before he died... I was losing my grandad at the same time too. I literally faced the window to cry and hid my face. I couldn't control it I cried day n night for a week. Or so... other time was crying in hospital when my 2. grandad was passing away. It should have been private but nurse stood there n watched n mocked me. So 1/2. Loss Maybe little bro passing when on the phone to emergency 3. When my ex friend was abusing me verbally on the phone also blaming me for things that were not my fault about a family member. We both went into care because of abuse at home. He was blaming me for her going into foster care when I could of took her on. But I was homeless and went into hostel for support. I was on my time of the month at the time but I left public street and went to hide somewhere to cry. 4. Same thing again happened where he abused me in a shopping centre at that time of the month. Claiming me to be his young sister and scolding me like a dad figure to draw attention to everyone to humiliate me. I walked away angry. But at first both times before people came. He was angry because I would not let him control me and my decisions. We were picking paints the second time and the first time I was looking for ideas for a laundry basket. I had an idea for a bench near the window next to the kitchen and he told me I was not to make any decisions around any of it. And I was to follow his plan for me. It was not his home. He was only a friend. But he turned out to be a bully and a control freak. I cried in shopping centre because he was blaming me again on that time of the month and very much in pain. 5. In front of close friends when abuse at home was 7 years on and I could not survive it again I had a miscarriage due to night rapes. And I was not in a stable place because of it all. It affects emotions like crazy. 6. In front of my good female friend when support was not supporting me and things were getting too much and they were using fear tactics and threats to force me into submission to their control freak ways and forcing pills on me. I was struggling with the choir and she could see I was not coping and asked me if I was ok and she knew I wasn't n it just came out n I hid my face n went to the bathroom luckily everyone was seated and turned away from us.
Really enjoyed your post, very honest and, while I can’t speak for others, I found it personally reassuring and quite humorous. I absolutely agree that we can handle dark humor but we always have a line in the sand. We definitely don’t get enough credit for that. Side Note: Love that one of your biggest problems was the lack of creativity. Had to pause I was laughing so hard. Those words come come out of my mouth often. I mean if you’re going to try and ‘get’ me, put some effort in. Now I’m almost more insulted by that, than stupid meme itself.
Thank you for explaining us so well, I agree with everything you said. 😊 - Internally I can get emotional very quickly but I can't remember the last time I cried in front of someone, it almost never happens. Actually most people wonder why I'm so calm and collected all the time. - Oh yes I can be evil if I want to, I give people the benefit of the doubt first but with some people I have no mercy, I think in an extreme case I would even take the law into my own hand (I'm also a leo). But I guess we INFP are more likely to be passive aggressive because we hate confrontation. - Yes there were times where I was depressed too and I couldn't motivate myself to do anything but I was never really suicidal. As you said the older we get the stronger we become because we learn that life is like a wave, sometimes it goes down but it will eventually go up again. For example when my last boyfriend broke up with me I of course was sad for a while but soon I realised he's not right for me, so I moved on and never looked back. - Oh hell yeah I can talk like a waterfall if I feel comfortable with someone or in a small group, they should make a meme about that. ;) Some people think I'm an extrovert because of that. Btw I'm an INFP who likes black humor and sarcasm to a certain extent but I rarely see or hear a good such joke that makes me laugh, again like you said, most jokes are just utterly old and boring to me.
I agree, I hate to cry in front of others and am very stoic when I'm not with others. People say I look intimidating. So, I just don't understand that misconception. Regarding organization, I have been told that I could get paid big money simply because of my organizational skills. I relax more when I come home from work, but I still like to have organization at home because it keeps my mind clearer. Regarding having a strong will, I definitely have one. I generally temperate it because I don't want to offend others, I think that is where the problem is - we are being kind so that we don't offend anyone. But many people take that positive trait as a weakness, when, we are trying to be kind to others. Thank you for posting that video - a very true message from an INFP.
I hate crying infront of other and it has only happened a handfull of times. I do have easy to cry if i watch some emotional show or movie, but when I do I kinda fight against it and have a mental debate if its logical or silly to cry.
INFP here, never cry. It sucks because you just have to let it out sometimes, but I just can't. Whenever I actually do manage to cry, It's immediatly followed by tears of joy once the pain is over.
Yes, we will rise up. I have been through a ton and have never given up. As far as crying, I do cry easily but I do it alone, not out in public. I agree that it is more unhealthy to not be able to cry and I often contribute my ability to do so as one one of the reasons I have not totally lost it during certain times in my life. That and my faith first. I am not messy and was a commercial cleaner for years before a bad back forced me out if it. I have a keen eye for detail too. Where I am off a bit is my sense of time. I do struggle to be on time for things, but can certaintly do it if I try. Hate being boxed into a 9-5 type deal and fair much better sailing my own ship, but I am also chronically ill so this may be why this works for me moreso than personality type. The problem with our society I think is that it is a walking paradox. On one hand, there really is no line anymore and if one dares to take offense to anything, oh my God they are so sensitive, yet more than ever we are hyper aware of sexual harrassment, the environment and as you pointed out, animal issues. There IS a line and pointing out that it should not be crossed does not make one a sensitive, whiny cry baby, it means they have ethics and standards and do not believe everything is game. Society is a walking contradiction this way and because we are very in touch with our ethics and feelings, we can see this and point it out. I agree that infps tend to get disproportionately picked on in comedy sketches. And yes, we do not like everyone and tend to have strong opinions. I personally am very humanitarian though and am very easily moved by the plights of people, but I also get pissed at how blind I feel a lot of people can be toward certain things. To me it is "right there", yet they just flock to it anyway. Its disquieting, really. So who is going to change their channel name to Precious Cinnamon roll first? You or me?
My room is super messy. SUPER MESSY. But it gets to my nerves at the gym when people dont put the plates and the dumbbells in the right places. There are Labels showing the right places to put the right weights and people simply seem to absolutely ignore it. I get infuriated. I also hated, as a kid, to lend my pencil crayons to anyone because they'd often get so disorganized. I'd spend a lot of my time just organizing the colors in the correct order they came in the pencil case. My Mangas are also organized by title and number as well
I do have the capacity to cry easily, but I dislike hearing about it over and over because it's no longer new knowledge to me. I want to hear/learn new things. Or I would want to learn more about the why's. It's probably also because I inherently don't like being put in a box ...and also because I hate crying. :)
I'm pretty emotional INFP, but: 1) it is "automatically controlled" when I'm in (any kind of) work process. Habit is the thing. 2) crying in front of people would be my personal disaster. I don't like too much attention (and it don't help in problem solving while I have to do something), and usually don't want to bother others with my problems. If there's something I need to talk about, then I'll do it with my friends. Like other types could do. 3) my face somehow is emotionally neutral most of the time. My eyes sometimes take all this work on them, but it's something that I more or less can control. And just in case someone who reads is curious about it. I can experience positive emotions. They also can be very strong. And hidden if in public.
Bullseye on all points. She is indeed an INFP and well versed in said mindfulness. I have not been aware of being depressed since I was quite young, being bullied non stop at school (junior high, you Yanks call it middle school I believe) and home caused me to vacillate between depression and lashing out at those who initiated the attacks (at first verbally and then only in self defense). I created a verbal warning system, to make those who dared to continue this behaviour, aware that I would no longer tolerate it ad infinitum. When confronted with a verbal and demeaning attack from one of my many detractors, I would say `Shut the F... up or I am going to hit you`, they were given three warnings at which point WHAM! P.S. I used the entire word and not just the letter :-p Now I do not condone my behaviour but sometimes drastic measures appear to be the only solution (to my way of thinking, having tried all other avenues, and an Ne can think of many such tributaries of possibilities), this was my final and inexorable conclusion to show the depth of the impact these continued daily assaults were having on my already damaged psyche (Ti demon made his appearance). Consider this, no teacher or other adult came to my defense. This did inevitably result in, ironically, me being labelled (by the teachers) as a bully. But it also, after about a year or so, ended the litany of insults I was bombarded with on a continual basis. Once a group of my old adversaries (now high school), having enlisted a toady, tried a resurgence of these old habits. During lunch in a rather large cafeteria, they threw orange peels and insults at me in quick succession, having a slurpee (slushy) in hand I responded in kind.They escalated their verbal tirade, I jumped the table with one hand and grabbed the lead malefactor (their new toady), I told him `name a place and we will settle this after school`, having realized the entire cafeteria went silent (it included teachers) and I was heading for a possible 3 day suspension. He declined to show, and I had the respect of every tough in my school, they nodded to me in the halls after that. Sorry for my lengthy diatribe on my youthful experience, and inevitable solution, to my early depression. That was not the end of my troubles of course, but the next story is even longer so I will have to forego it at this juncture. Oh the lengthy revisionary life of the INFP, you do not want to know how many times I edited, deleted, and added to this post. And I carefully tried to limit my usual and extemporaneous predilection to go off on tangents. Not kidding even. One thing I really love about the INFJ, they will politely let me do so, and as soon as the opportunity presents itself, bring me right back on point. See, tangential tendencies.
I'm an infp and I would describe my heart as a diamond filled with liquid love. Super hard and super soft at the same time. I'm a super happy infp. Tip: fi needs to be really informed. Otherwise our philosophy is less profound. Make fi more competent. But if you are an infp you are probably already doing this haha
I am SO glad I found this video. I always get INFP on the tests and when digging deeper it became clear that FI and Ne are my dominant functions. HOWEVER I was and still am turned off by the stereotypes they get as cry baby airheads. I feel that INFP DO feel a lot but we tend to keep it hidden behind a tough exterior. I hate looking emotional Infront of others and get often get called stoic or cheerful (on high energy days). We are empathetic and I think that helps us get along and understand others, but often keep others at a distance when it comes to our own thoughts and feelings. And we definitely don't love everyone or fantasize about marrying everyone, we honestly have a pretty big dark side, and (can only speak for myself) tend to really like dark humor and learning the darker sides of things....but while still being able to see good and beauty in it.
Even though we lead with a judging function. We are generally not judgmental. I don't think there is anyone I hate, dislike maybe, and I've met some nasty people. I have also seen somewhere that a person with borderline personality disorder, the percentages are much higher for the person being an INFP. NF's tend to be the ones I notice with addiction problems and depression. But that last bit is more my own anecdotal observation, mixed with some literature. Plus my ex's middle child has BPD and a touch of Bipolar, she tested as INFP-T. I knew she was INFP before she did the test. I'm an INFP-A 9w8, and never had any thoughts of suicide or depression. Good video.
@@annsmith936 I can agree with that to a point. Perhaps I may have been able to articulate my thought more clearly. For sure INFPs judge constantly, sometimes outwardly. All types do, as we all have judging functions. I Just find myself and other INFPs and some of my ISFPs friends are less judgmental. Maybe it's in the definition of the terms. And Perhaps I shouldn't talk on behalf of all INFPs with the royal we. Or ISFPs as I don't know how it works for them. And I believe I am enneagram 9w8, so I may differ from other INFPs in that regard. So this is how the cognitive functions seem play out for me. I am judging all the time on various things, but not in way may be seen as a judgemnetal. Or a harsh way. Because my Fi judgement function is backed up with Ne a observing and idiating function. It is a different dynamic to other types, obviously. I'll try to give a real life example. I see a man doing what I deem morally bad, or the wrong thing to do. So I make a judgement on the action, or the mans behaviour. I accept it as this. Then my Ne combined with Fi starts looking for what would make someone want to do this. I begin searching for possibilities. In a forgiving way, trying understand it from the mans perspective. There must be a good, or alternative reason. Searching for the good. Trying to forgive. I won't sign off on my judgement because my Ne won't let me. There could be another underlying factor I don't know about, so I can't make a judgement. Sure there some serious things that may be obviously bad, and it's black and white to most, I always seem to find grey in there. I know this is definitely a different reaction to my INTJ friend and my ISFJ friends, the man is as guilty as sin and deserves everything coming to him. Though my INTJ friend will battle to contain her judgement, I can feel her blood boiling. I hope this makes sense. 😁
@@annsmith936 wow, I'd get confused saying hello in the morning, with that many langauges. 😁 I have enough trouble saying hello in Australian English. 🤣
Hate and dislike really are the same thing. It is like saying I'm not a murderer but at heart you wish people dead. We are all murderers and hating or disliking is also murder. We intentionally or not we are killing ourselves and others.
@@healingandgrowth-infp4677 I wouldn't say they are the same thing at all. Neither by definition, nor level of intensity. There is quite a bit of distance between them in my opinion. Love would be an opposite for hate, like would be the opposite of dislike. If I had a disdain for someone or something that would be getting closer to hate. If I greatly despised someone or something that might be slightly closer to hate again. If I dislike someone, I wouldn't equate that to wanting to murder someone. One may have the thought to lash out verbally, or strike a blow. Depending on how well you can manage your emotions. You may dislike someone's behaviour, though love or like them as your friend, Brother, Sister, or Mother, or Father. If I despised someone I wouldn't feel the need to murder them. You could say, we are dying from the moment we are born. And we spend our lives eating to stay alive, in the pointless pursuit of trying to defy death. Though we are really trying prolong life, whist waiting to die. Those are some ways to look at it. To be accused of murdering someone, you would have to of show your intend. If someone was to dislike, or even hate someone, doesn't mean that there was intent to kill them. You may have thought it. A thought doesn't equate to an action.
ENFP's indeed seem one of the types most often depressed, like indeed comedians. I wonder if ENTP's are more often depressed than average too? Then it would be infp's, enfp's, intp's and entp's being types farily often depressed. They all share the low Si function, which I I sometimes suspect to be related to feeling depressed. With infp's and intp's I've wondered if PORL Se is related too, since types with high Se seems full of life energy (like Love Lu for example)
My wife is an INFP. She cries all the time. At least once a week. I think I've cried 3 times in my adult life. Death of my father, the time I thought I wouldn't get to see my newborn for a year, and once when I was under extreme stress with the odds stacked against me. My anecdotal evidence is that they do cry frequently.
I can't imagine crying only 3 times in adulthood. I was told a stray cat I fed a few times was hit by a car, and it emotionally grounded me for weeks (at age 30), and I probably actually cried 4 or 5 times. That was just a stray cat
@@DandinXY I admire your compassion. From the INTJ world, crying doesn't solve anything, so I almost never do it unless the situation is entirely out of my control, unsolvable and has a huge emotional investment--like my family or close friends.
@@annsmith936 by that logic no one ever cries a lot because no one ever cries continuously. I'm sure if you polled people, crying daily it weekly would be considered a lot. Among INTJs the fact that I have cried three times may be considered a lot.
@@darkpixel2k I'm an INFP and I don't think I've ever cried about a current problem I'm having in life. Crying just isn't how I react. I usually cry about things that aren't even real, like movies and tv shows.
@@annsmith936 Yes, but that makes all observations subjective and useless. Polling the population to see what the average person thinks is 'too much' to come to a consensus is generally accepted. I haven't looked for any studies, but my 'gut instinct' says the population would find crying weekly to be 'too much'. Maybe even an indicator of depression. Maybe a psychologist will read this and give a professional opinion.
I have cried in public but it was when I was really struggling with depression so I normally never cry in front of people because I do hate crying in front of people.
Crying in public is a NIGHTMARE. I will run and lock myself in the bathroom if I need to cry at work. When I started crying in public I knew I was in a very dark place.
It always feels so invalidating and alienating to me, as someone "with depression", when people talk about it as if it is some sort of individual 'chemical imbalance' rather than a legitimate response to mostly environmental factors. And I do think certain "disorders" tend to cluster around certain types because those types are not as well-adapted to how our current society is structured (INFPs in particular)
I actually am diagnosed with anxiety and depression BUT I believe my strong Fi was a thing that held me back even when my brain chemistry was acting horribly. My faith and values were HUGE, as though they had prepared me to face that challenge. When the doctor asked me if I had had suicidal thoughts I said, “Yes…but I am a Christian and I do NOT believe in doing that!” Obviously I still needed…and got…help. I was totally horrified that my brain was tossing things out that were so antithetical to what I stand for. But I think my faith was a huge help in enduring it and getting to where I could get that health. I also leaned heavily on my VERY ENTJ dad during that time because I knew on some level I needed that push to productive action. Which ultimately led to me admitting the full truth of what was going on and getting the help I needed.
Its ok for INFP to be incredibly sensitive, just do it over there for a while as well please ugh I swear Ill call you back when Ive recharged. Places tiny pillows in a room for your comfort*
I disagree with the regular crying thing. Thinkers don’t cry much because we have different ways to deal with life’s issues. We don’t necessarily feel sad with difficult problems.
Fi is not keeping your feelings inside and Fe is not letting feelings out. Feeling and Thinking is how you make decisions. Fi is putting yourself (your-internal-feelings or your logic) before others (others-external-feelings or logic), but not in behavior, but to make decisions. Myself-with high Fe-I basically cry when anyone around me is crying and then I put their needs in mind. But also, I don’t really hate people, at all, for any reason, and could never say that-also hard with Fe. Statistically-INFJ’s-have a higher rate of suicide.
I have anger issues and could easily sway to hate people very easily, but I prefer harmony and peace over hateful things... My angry, protective, justice-seeking, outbursts might say otherwise but still. So I fit the stereotype.
As an INFP… I *definitely* don’t love everyone. And I think really few people would be compatible with me as friends or a partner. When there are cars that are obnoxiously loud with their music, screeching tires and whatnot, I genuinely wish bad things upon them. When people are irresponsible with fireworks? The potential loss of a limb/eye is their problem. If you attack someone/groups purely based on differing beliefs and values, I will feel anything but empathy for you. We are caring souls, but we can be very cold and uncaring if you give us reasons for it. We just aren’t always so vocal about it. We don’t budge, when it comes to our values. 8:33 Yesss. I have three close friends and close family members. They’re very dear to me. But a (relative) stranger (can be a classmate or something)… I just don’t care, most of the time. Unless I believe there may be compatibility. It’s part of my struggle to make new friends. The bonds I have with the ‘pre-existing’ friends are tight. And perhaps people may find that intimidating and hard to try and fit into the ‘established order’ (it sounds very un-INFP-like, but with my friends… Yeah, I have something of an established order. And it’s really different to society’s). In high school, my parents would oftentimes ask ‘How’s _insert classmate_ doing?’ Don’t know, don’t care. I don’t know them on a deep sort of level or anything so I have no reason to care. But every relationship starts with two people not knowing each other. So, I believe beginning stages of relationships could be exceptionally difficult for me. And well… I’m not the one to initiate. That’s very foreign to me. It’s healthy to do it on occasion, but… I don’t really. The friends I have now were either strategically put together with me by a teacher, or they approached me. By default, I’m anything but assertive.
Dammit, you're telling me the ONE thing I hate doing and suppress because I feel weak and vulnerable (not because someone told me this is the case), that I'm unhealthy?! UGH! But crying is SO TAXING and DRAINING. I NEVER feel good afterwards. I don't have a safe place to cry on my own, I live in a one bedroom apartment and I don't want my mom always checking on me because I have to essentially become the INFP stereotype due to how much I suppress it... Not to mention I'm prone to nosebleeds during crying! I just don't understand how it'll help me, it fixes NOTHING. The situation doesn't change, whatever I was crying about still is a problem. I'd rather be held or find something to make me smile...
This crying part. Once when i was a kid, i was bullied in public. And i ran away sobbing while promising myself from that moment i will never ever cry in my own affliction! Its like cold turkey. And now im in my 40s i NEVER cry for my own problem in anything. But i do cry . but never in a whimper kind of way. Maybe shed a tear or two but only when 1. I am alone 2. And seeing other peoples problem around the world, movie characters, animal etc. Its a lot of burden. But again i never cry if im the one being treated like $h1*. I feel like ill lose if i give myself in for other people to look down on me. In fact i feel stronger doing tht. But yes, i do cry littel tears for other things. That feels like a winner. To feel and understand others.
The line for comedy is where the people talking decide it is. When something is genuinely harmful or bullying I know when to speak up though so maybe what you said was right 😂
A misconception is something different than a stereotype. Sure, INFP's crying is a stereotype, but I'm not sure if it's really a misconception too. They obviously do not cry all the time, but it seems they do seem to cry more often than other types. As a result it makes sense that they have a stereotype that involves crying. Or one should argue that any sort of stereotype is a misconception. However, in a way typology is a system that is build around "types" which could be seen as stereotypes or archetypes. Each type type description involves a lot of stereotyping. I am not sure if typology could exist without any stereotyping, as stereotyping is a about a simplied or fixed version of a particular type of people...which seems close to typology types.
P O W E R - R E D - B U L L I mention it being both a stereotype and a misconception. It is a misconception because INFPs don’t cry half as much as the stereotype suggests, and I don’t consider it even a defining trait of INFPs. Sensitive people cry more, not all sensitive people are INFPs.
I think it could also be possible a infp may get withdrawn and voluntarily "lose" the ability to cry and become bitter and unfriendly or become "angry" for their own safety (at least, the way perceived )
but it seems they do seem to cry more often than other types - guesswork only which is one of the big problems of MBTI lots of pseudo nonsense involved
2. I don’t love everyone, but I believe most people have the capacity for good. I have hated people, but maybe I’m not looking at them from the right perspective. But if you do an act of evil towards me or the people I love, you no longer exist. 3. I’m very organized at work and when I was in school, I was on top of everything, but at home, my room’s a wreck oh my god 4. Probably not all of us but I’m depressed as hell but I’m on antidepressants now and it’s been working!!
Think I'd be squarely placed as intp, and one of my friends is very likely an infp. Mutual respect is solid when we overcome our rather different ways of going about things, and finding same consensus for different reasons. I can't get out of my head, and he needs to enter his more often. This might also explain why I find suicide more acceptable than him, since I do ruminate non-stop with little agency on what, whereas he's much more capable of discriminating what process to allow in the first place (though very far from being a narrow-minded square, especially when my implorations succeed)
Any INFPs feel like we live in a world that just isn't very friendly to the way we function? I do and I suspect that my depression is connected.
Kiseo Chan Yes. The world tends to favor different qualities and personalities than INFPs, and we are “different” in general which can lead to feeling alienated and isolated. I agree that this can impact depression, especially if you feel like you don’t have things in common with anyone else, or don’t feel accepted because employers are looking for something you’re not.
OMG yes! Totally relate!
Absolutely. You are not alone. 💯💜
As an autistic INFP, I literally feel like this world isn’t made for me. Many autistics described ‘feeling like an alien’ and ‘speaking a different language’ and I definitely relate. It’s hard to feel accommodated and appreciated. Artistic people tend to be stigmatised in a very work-/(classic interpretation of) success driven, capitalistic society, where money and the materialistic are highly valued. I feel this sense that society expects people who *could*/are eligible to go to uni, *should* go to uni because it’s the valued more than ‘lower level education’. And I fell into that trap. Until I realised that uni didn’t suit me, as I felt restricted. I also felt a lot of pressure on my weaknesses and like I could do nothing with my strengths. And well, the autistic side has to deal with a lot of external stimuli neurotypicals seem to be able to handle. And societal infrastructure and conversational rules are just foreign and illogical to me.
INFP here. And I'm an older one (60) so perhaps in all this time, I've come to terms with myself and know I have to be myself.
1. I dont love everyone. I've tried. I used to have a very kumbaya outlook as a young person but in fact I have a fervid dislike for many people.
You went on to discuss noises and Extraneous noises grate on my nerves, sometimes I think I'm on the spectrum.
2. I have to be super upset to cry in front of anyone. I will cry when I'm really frustrated with myself or situation but wont cry in front of anyone unless they are trusted.
3. I can be very organized, mainly with physical objects like my living space, more than paper work. God I hate paperwork.
4. I'm depressed but not suicidal, but kinda cant wait to take that dirt nap too. Its not normal to be happy 24/7 though, humans arent built like that.
5. I've had many friends say they wish they were as strong as me in whatever situation. I've been through a lot, am going through a lot, will go through a lot. Its called life, you deal or die.
6. I am quiet, but yeah, I gotta know you. I can get a little wild as well. I'm not a Chatty Cathy unless we're discussing something along these lines and other interesting or important topics. I can strike up a pleasant conversation with a complete stranger and 98% of the time it is a positive experience. This is something I have worked on for a long time because I dont do small talk that well. Awkward silences ya know. Then I panic and I'm out.
*I am a dreamer still, but as you age, reality takes over more.
_amusingmyself Thank you for adding your INFP perspective from the 60s. I'm in my 40s now and I agree with what you shared.
I know right....people always tell me I'm trying to prove them wrong...but I'm not...
Im 40 something. I agree with all above.
I love that "deal or die"😂
INFPs can bear a lot upon themselves before they break, but they will react very quickly if someone else (particularly an innocent person or animal) is in any way insulted in front of them. To hurt the feelings of another person is the worst sin in our book because we understand how intense and important feelings are for a person since we feel things intensely. An INFP who has crossed over to the ‘dark side’ knows exactly how to manipulate and hurt a person through their feelings.
I'm 48, and one of the most wise things that was ever said to me was said to me by my sister upon getting out of rehab 15 years ago. She told me that if I utilized my skill at manipulation for the power of good I would do a lot of good. Now, I don't actually manipulate people intentionally anymore, but I do nudge them along. I will point out the good things that I see, but ethically I just don't say things unless I genuinely believe them. So it's kind of a balancing act, I have to keep myself accountable for my behavior. I can see what people will want me to say about them, and I won't give them that if I don't believe it. That actually makes being sober a lot easier. A lot of my bad behavior was based on fear and not liking myself. Once I realized that the only behavior that I can control is my own and that I had to act according to my principles all the time, yet forgive myself if I forget to do that, life became a lot easier. I just find it difficult to parse through everything and way and measure the merits of each individual topic, but I'm glad once I've done it because it makes it easy for me to figure out exactly how I'm going to act in that scenario. Does that compute with you? Here's a fun fact: we are the least likely to be serial killers! So in case you've been worrying about that, have no fear! You will not become Ted Bundy tomorrow and start pillaging coeds and ending their lives in their prime... You're welcome! Have a great day!
The crying thing is SO TRUE, my friends couldn't believe I was an INFP because I'm often "cold" looking , i hide my emotions really well, even from myself lol. I hardly ever cry, i usually cry only when im invested in an emotional movie and I'm all alone in the room, but that's about it.
I'm sure my friends have never had occasion to think about my personality type one way or the other. I guess we travel in different circles!
I cried infront of my mom last week.
She just told me how much I look depressed.
I don't even know why I cried, i guess it was bottled up emotions.
I felt quite good afterwards though
I’m the same as you. ❤️
it's always a movie or music for me haha. But yeah, I do NOT like to cry in public or show as much public emotion. But when the *music* starts in during an emotional scene in a movie etc then I'll be crying for sure. Now that I think about it it might be the soundtrack haha. - INFP
Any other INFPs feel like they are literally unable to cry even while you’re alone?
sometimes
sometimes
I literally have to practice and coo myself that shedding water from your face is fine.
Tyler Fender you may need a trigger, like some music that always makes you sad, or some animal video that shows animal interspecies kindness, or even humans being compassionate. There’s always something that can set you off, even if it varies depending on your mood.
Maybe you’re right, the problem could be that I haven’t felt truly comfortable anywhere for a long time.
INFPs have more of a backbone than INTPs. I don’t understand why INTPs are not considered more of a pansy type than INFPs. With Fe, INTPs are always looking to maintain harmony, whereas INFPs will actually stand up for themselves if pushed far enough, even if it results in group disharmony. It’s one of the most frustrating traits I have (I’m an INTP). I admire INFPs for having the guts do be themselves, no matter what.
It sounds like you haven't known a ton of INTPs, or the one you do know you don't really like or respect. Fe makes them more focused on being accepted, and it doesn't do a very good job for the first few decade or two... the question "Describe what you're feeling right now." always comically stumps them because their emotional acuity is like that of a small child's, so it's easy to mistakenly say they have no feelings, or at least they don't feel much about anything.
They want, try, fail, or succeed at achieving their heart's desire like everyone else, and they're some fairly fucking obstinate people if they believe they're being unfairly treated. The same goes for sticking up for others, especially when people take advantage of their beloved friends.
INTPs are capable of running into a burning building to save someone they don't know without a second thought, they can bully and be bullied like anyone else, and they can withdraw after repeated alienating social blunders... or they can be popular in their own way as well.
I wouldn't be so hard on them, there's a lot there people don't see if they're not into it. You just may have to accept they'll tag into the ring for hours to dispute History, Philosophy, or Star Wars, or god knows what other topics they're conditioned to avoid talking about to the normies... because well, they mutually find each other's pursuits trivial.
Yes, more likely they're the friendless guy getting picked on by everyone at school. Yes, there's a marginally larger prevalence for Asperger's Syndrome.. but these stereotypes are miles away from foregone conclusions, and not one INTP trait mandates they be complete and utter doormat.
The solution is almost always to seek out support from friends and family.
Watch out for blaming problems only on reasons beyond your control, you may accidently believe you're helpless. And watch out for assuming it's better on the other side of the fence... it's the subtle first step towards objectifying whole populations of people. These biases could distract you from seeing how good or bad things actually are if you get hung up on lamenting your flaws or envying their differences.
The Fe is very weak in an intp so thats not going to play a big role
I am INTP with an INFP sister and this is so incredibly true
Fe in INTPs are the inferior function so they usually don't agree with it in the first two decades of their life.
They may not be stubborn like INFPs but they do use Fe a lot to hurt people, to be acid and cynical and ironic.
We usually only use our inferior function as young as a last resource, like when under a lot of pressure or when put against the wall.
So yeah, when young most INTPs will try to not please people, and INFPs will try to not commit to organizations and not make decision at all hahahaha.
But when they grow older I find them very similar.
I'm a INFP and have some INTP close friends. I see that they try more to please those they like (even if awkwardly hehehe) and they have a good control of aggression against those they dislike.
INFPs don't have this proactive caring attitude, we tend to wait someone to ask for help or a shoulder to cry and we tend to hold under stress (even we direct offended) until the line is crossed and we burst all anger and stress into people (or the deadline is so close we have to do this project NOW). It can seem strong but is just out of control hehehe.
In fact I can just speak for myself. But I think INFPs tend to get more assertive when getting older and INTPs then to get more caring and able to fit more groups. Whats makes sense having Te and Fe as their inferior functions.
OMG I love INFP’s! You are exactly the type of people the world needs. Your qualities is what is lacking in the world. You people are very beautiful! The qualities that you have to offer need space to come out the way it needs to do. I just know you could be amazing friends too. I wish I had INFP’s in my life to share my deep inner world and knowledge with, because I feel only INFJ and INFP get me in this. The rest of the mbti types mostly run for the hills away from this ENFP. I can relate with a lot that INFP’s say about the need to process their deep thoughts and being, even though I am an ENFP type. Most people perceive me as too deep and too much so I say no more...
Thank you for saying this! I am an infp and my two adult children are enfps. I feel so lucky because at home I get to have deep conversations with people who get me. I admire the enfp confidence and assuredness!
Infp here. My best friend growing up was an ENFP, we "got" each other really well. She is the extroverted version of me. Lol
Sharon I found out about something: my sister (and very possibly also my late father) is an INFP! I found out about this last Christmas, when she took the mbti test with me. I was just overwhelmed with emotions, because suddenly I knew. It all fell on its place and made sense to me. We have always been emotionally very connected and close together. I could just cry when I found out. So when I wished for INFP’s in my life, I didn’t know that one of the closest persons I have in my life, is one😳 I also had a very strong connection with my father, my sister and I both were close to him, but unfortunately he made a mess of himself and my sister and I had to let him go at some point. I tried to save him (ENFP style), but he never took advice or was approachable and changed his destructive ways. He broke me by seeing him suffer without changing anything about it. He died eventually. It’s so sad because he was a great man, with so much depth and warmth. My sister is also a great person, but a very different INFP than he was. She fortunately is very stable. Her daughter (my niece) is like me an ENFP and I also have a strong connection with her. Some other funny fact to mention is that my sisters name is like yours Sharon too...I kid you not! This is beautiful ❤️
@@77HadassaH77 that is amazing, I'm so happy for you 💕
I’m an INFP and thank you for the lovely comment and appreciation of us! Two of my closest friends are ENFPs , and I love how they are able to bring me out of my shell while being interested in the same type of deep conversations and novel experiences that I am. So in response to your question, I feel ENFPs are very beautiful also!
INFPs stare and voice are very peculiar. And fascinating. Maybe that's the reason why they are often actors.
An INFP meme can be made on the nature of how much they value worth of loved one,how deeply they care for their loved ones
INFP getting bullied: ignores and maybe later cries when alone
INFP loved one getting bullied: turns into a ruthless person,will bring havoc to the person who dared to hurt his loved ones.
As an INFP, I wish i cried more than i do. I really want to but its not easy😂😂
Treasure Mngadi i think it’s a good practice to build into your life. find what gets your tears flowing, get into a safe environment (probably alone) and let rip. your body will thank you for it, as MeAnINFP said in the video. takes practise though.
my INTP homie is fascinated by how i sometimes schedule ”cry time” if i’ve been through a lot and done the internal emotional processing but not gotten rid of the nasty chemicals. for me, i have to get it out of me or it will find other expressions in my body that aren’t as benign. i personally think every type would benefit from this but they would probably just laugh so... 🤷♀️
@@AS-jq4lb thats really awesome. Thank you so much.❤❤❤
My mom is an unhealthy INFP who has completely lost the ability to cry.
@@cross-eyedmary6619 that must be really tough. Hope she can find her way out.
@@AS-jq4lb I introduced her to MBTI recently and I think she's probably going to benefit greatly. Though, of course she'd never tell me. lol (Secretive Fi)
INTJ (+HSP) here. It's awful that people make fun of INFPs"crying all the time". Firstly, it's nonsense, as we learned from this video. And secondly, even if it were true, there is nothing wrong with crying. Whenever I happen to cry, I find it very .. freeing. And it really helps (on a psychological and physical level).
It's a terrible thing to make fun of others. Especially in the MBT community. The MBTI is a great tool to better understand yourself, but others as well. It's a shame that some ignorant people rather use it for evil. (And that's comming from an INTJ ;P)
I think INFPs are some of the most beautiful creatures on this planet and I'm fascinated, if not mesmerised, by you guys.
Oh, and I absolutely relate to the hating ignorant people part. As a highly sensitive person, EVERYTHING annoys me. The are students in uni I wanted to kick in face just for loudly leafing through their notebooks...
Thank you, INTJ ^_^. I'm also HSP. And yes, I relate to that last part but about when students are loudly laughing or not wearing earphones while doing stuff on their phone.
I have cried during an interview...I tried so hard to hold it back but I couldn't...
Thank you, INTJ. I love my INTJ bestie to death. You guys are the best!
finally we get represented accurately - seems we have to do it ourselves if it’s to be done properly. thank you!
A S You’re welcome!
I got your back! I will stand up for you guys! You deserve that so much! Much Love from this ENFP ❤️
Aww, thank you for the ENFP and ESFP love. ❤️ It’s nice having your support!
Who cares? Seriously.
LOVED the scientifically-informed argument on the benefits of crying!
Great stuff.
As an INFP the crybaby stereotype really grinds my gears. I've had NT types online try to baby/patronise me. Like, I just want you to be real with me! Don't try to appeal to something you don't properly understand, just be yourself!
@@annsmith936 Thank you for the reassurance, you're very kind.
I'm surprised: no INFP stereotype has had any effect on me whatsoever.
Ironically we’re probably those least likely to need others to take care of our emotional well-being because we can do that very well ourselves (if developed) - if I’m feeling down I need help with all the Te shit that I have no energy to deal with!
I agree with most of your points. And as a male INFP, I:
-Have been depressed a few times in life, but never once have I been suicidal.
-Have not really been a "crybaby" like the memes. I am actually working on it more, to let my emotions out so that I can face them instead of bottling it and being avoidant. I think this could actually be an issue with INFP males, since we do feel things strongly, but in reaction to society I think we often bottle things in (and other types too).
-Have not really been picked on. I'm of normal size, and most people who tried to talk to me were simply confused or baffled and didn't know what to do if I was in a quiet mood.
-Have been pretty quiet in the past. I used to keep to myself and not know how to engage with people in general. But I broke through that and have gotten a lot better. I still have issues with interacting with people at times, but in general I've made a lot of progress. I guess you could say I'm heavily introverted, but I do have moments where I can talk a lot. I can also be in crowds without much issue most of the time, and once I, for example, get up on stage or in front of a crowd, I can get in a zone and stop feeling anxiety when speaking. (Perhaps I'm just embracing my blindspot, eh? :) )
-Can be judgmental. there's an inner judgment of things and people at times and I am often at odds with it, since I want to treat everyone well. But I think I am afraid of judgment as a result, and I avoid conflict quite often.
Thanks for sharing your view and trying to clear misconceptions.
Wow, exactly me...are you in my head, sir?
(Fellow INFP)
I’m a bottler of emotions as well. I don’t like to bother others with my issues or problems, I’ve always been this way
(INFP) Endearing quality: Will tell you off all while making sure to not hurt your feelings...
This had to have been the most gentle and considerate tongue lashing dished out I have ever witnessed. Speaks to our ability for self control.
I am so self conscious, that people rarely no how I’m feeling. Funny thing is; I always think my emotions are obvious
Vulnerability is our strength. I played strong safety in the Big Ten--- no one was tougher than me. People have given me the label of "caring too much" : but that is my strength, not a weakness.
I was known as a highly intelligent player--- with a lot of heart. 💗
Great video! My sister and I get along really well (she's an INFP and I'm an INFJ), and she is definitely a whole different person in front of people that she trusts and likes.
i was depressed all through college (4 years) and no one knew about it, not even my best friends.
i was so scared my family would send me to a psychiatrist or make me take medication that i never said a thing.
i know i'm the best person to solve my problems because no one knows me as well as me. i prefer to work it out by reflecting in the silence of sollitude.
I get that. I'm also in college with depression. If you have high-functioning depression, likely others aren't going to know because you can hide it well enough.
This, I relate so so much. I was very depressed for years, it started in high school for me. I was suicidal at one point...but nobody knew, I hid it so well. It's actually really sad when I think back at it and I always tell other people to seek help when they're depressed but I myself just couldn't imagine opening up about it to someone and actually talking about it, it was too heavy. Like you, I only trusted myself to figure it out and get myself out and I did. I now feel better than ever before, actually. I wouldn't recommend it to other people but yeah...I hope you're also doing better! :)
i am in same situation.
i am currently in the final year of clg. i've been depressed since second year of clg. now after 4 years, my condition is worst.
i got 1 year drop becoz i failed in 1 subject and i feel like my whole career decision is a big mistake and now i ruined my future.
i cannot talk about this to my family. they spent alot money already and they are expecting me to settle..and i dont have any that one "best" friend with i think i can share all those things...
so i became emotional person and i cry many times but not in public or in front of anyone.
honestly, i dont know what to do.
i am getting suicidal thoughts,
but from last week, i am doing exercise and walking,dieting, trying to loose my weight...just for forgeting all those things and for good health and to regain my confidence..its working.
but i still have inferiority complex and social anxiety.
@@unknownperson-mk1ei Hang in there! About the career decision - I know that feeling as well but it's good to rememeber that there're actually many people who do something completely different from their college major, you're not forever bounded to what you've studied at uni, so don't worry about ruining your life. One guy I went to high school with graduated with a degree in economy and guess what...he's now a sports journalist! My brother is a programmer but he didn't study it at uni, it was his hobby and passion outside of school (though he has a degree within the IT but it was not programming). If you're truly unsure about your path in life, maybe try to go volunteer somewhere for a while or something like that. Being away and taking a "break" from life can help you get a new perspective on life and it can be very healing as well.
Exercising, taking walks, eating healthy etc, all those things are amazing for you and they do help a lot so it's great that you've decided to do them. Also meditation, that can be especially helpful with anxiety. It takes time to learn it but if you do, it can be truly life changing. Another thing that helped me a lot were Jordan Peterson's talks/lectures on having meaning and purpose in life, he's a remarkable psychologist and thinker (WordToTheWise channel uploads many cool videos of his talks but there are hundreds others on youtube, if you'd like to have a look).
It takes time to get your life together and pull yourself out of that state but it is possible if you persevere. I wish you all the best, I'm sure you'll work things out eventually ❤️
Love you my lovely friend, i am kinda like you but you are thinking well and im proud of you and me and other infp's :3
The idea of stuffing an INFP into a neatly defined "personality box" is pretty amusing in itself...
I'm sure I'm an INFP but there are some facts about me that might not fit the stereotype:
1. The older I get the less I express my emotions to people who are not very close to me. I only cry when I'm alone or with people I really trust. People who don't really know me think I'm cold and emotionless.
2. I'm not naive. I don't trust people whose actions don't match their words.
3. I can only open myself up so far to people I trust and I feel comfortable with. The problem is that I don't easily trust people (See point number 2).
P.S. I'm a highly sensitive person. I can't control my feelings, but I set healthy boundaries in all areas of my life.
You are beautiful and have such a pleasant energy and personality. I resonate a lot with what you are saying.
I’m glad you are clearing out many of the misconceptions and prejudices about our archetype.
I’m infp.
When dealing with an emotional painful situation I might die and cry inside feeling a really sharp pain that is unbearable but I never show this when I interact with others.
Because I don’t want to transfer my concerns to others I put on my happy “everything is okay” mask and once I’m undisturbed and private I let go and cry like a hurt wounded animal and I do it silently so that no one can hear me.
Sometimes I have the feeling that people decrease the value of the infp love because they believe in the misconception that infp loves everyone hence there is nothing special in their love. Infp can love truly deeply faithfully and maturely and very few people have this luck to be loved by infp.
svetoslava angelova i would say regarding love that it’s the exact opposite - many people to some extent get our attention (because we’re good listeners and problem solvers and attract people into our lives that way) but very few get our love, which is on another level entirely.
i think a lot of people, particularly extroverts, confuse our attention with love and they couldn’t be more wrong. it takes a long vetting process over time to make it into our inner circle, and even then a person’s actions over time determine in which of our concentric circles a person resides. people can move inwards or outwards depending on how they treat us. but most people are never aware of this process as we don’t usually make it clear to others. and if someone is treating us badly, we don’t tend to waste our energy on them more than absolutely necessary.
I think it is because you are a young infp. I promise that when you are older it becomes pretty easy. As you mature, you learn to know who you are and has accepted who you are. You don’t get flustered about other people’s opinion because we don’t care to conform. We just live our lives according to our held values.
I will be very glad to get this point, because I want to live my life how I want and not care what others think, even if they are wrong.
One of the biggest misconceptions to me is that we (the INFP) are book worms. Not true. I am a visual thinker and visual learner. I am a very hands-on person. I do better and learn better with hands-on work. Being made to read the literary classics didn't help either. Being special ed I had a difficult time getting through it. I didn't get anything from it or gain a thing from reading Little Women and Little Men. There was nothing I could relate to in either book. When I was in high school I went to an online school. It was hands-on and we did this thing where we would go in a class environment and senior year had the choice of doing music and poetry or science and machinery. I choose the science one first semester because of my love of cars and aviation. Then when it came the second semester I did the music one and didn't exactly like it. They saw me looking at old Soviet airplanes so they let me and a lot of others rejoin the science one.
Overall, this appears to be an accurate list of inaccurate stereotypes. Delivered by a typical INFP.
INFPs are probably the most resilient type.
I would say I’ve have cried in public at times but whenever I do, I don’t like the attention I get. I just get mad at myself for it. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really shown much of my emotions or something like that. And I guess I get reminded of the times where I was or wasn’t cared for. When I needed someone to be there for me. I mean I don’t know anymore, now it’s really just me keeping in my emotions and if I do say something about my feelings. I just regret it and I’d always feel like what I said was wrong, nonsense, or fake.
Oh damn. I totally getting hating to cry in public or crying in general! So annoying that it's something that happens!
Lu
Just a thought, but as a depressed INFP (and highly disorganized, sorry for upholding the stereotypes lol) I think the suicidal thing can be linked to PoLR Se. Being suicidal is usually a reaction to feeling like you have no power, and when in a bad life situation INFPs and INTPs are more likely to turn their anger inward in an extreme way. I think the PoLR Se is also why people see us as "weak"...because of our Fi, we're unwilling to just believe in fake happy stories about ourselves, but we also don't like to push back against people directly. This is going to come off as weakness to someone who would do those things. But that same quality gives us our "bouncing back" superpower where we can confront really messed up parts of life, because we're honest about it and process it emotionally. This is why we can be more unbiased about moral issues imo. I 100% agree about the crying in public and talkative parts though.
Jeanette this makes sense
That was very very interesting thanks
@@nailachoudhury3795 Thanks :)
I saw this "crying" thing today in a "fictional INFP characters" video, and they put a scene where Bubbles appears to be on the verge of a reage attack and then she bursts into tears and runs away into the woods... I found it so weird. I really don't usually cry in front of anyone... like... ever...
Lol
I most likely HATE everyone hUAHUAHU
I cry.
We definitely don’t love everyone, we can be really harsh with bullies, superficial people and animal abusers too.
i am INFP and i am 22.
i am currently in the final year of clg. i've been depressed since second year of clg. now after 4 years, my condition is worst.
i got 1 year drop becoz i failed in 1 subject and i feel like my whole career decision is a big mistake and now i ruined my future. though i passed finaly but now all my old friends are settled and doing good jobs and i feel lonely.
i cannot talk about this to my family. they spent alot money already and they are expecting me to settle..and i dont have any that one "best" friend with i think i can share all those things...
so i became emotional person and i cry many times but not in public or in front of anyone.
honestly, i dont know what to do.
i am getting suicidal thoughts,
but from last week, i am doing exercise and walking,dieting, trying to loose my weight...just for forgeting all those things and for good health and to regain my confidence..its working.
but i still have inferiority complex and social anxiety.
How are you right now? I'm concerned. I really hope and pray that you're doing better right now.
TH-cam this person:"Jim rohn" he has quote I love. "We all must suffer from 2 pain of discipline and pain of regret. Pain of discipline weighs ounces and pain of regret weighs about a ton. Here's a cool poem It’s Up To Me
I get discouraged now and then
When there are clouds of gray,
Until I think about the things
That happened yesterday.
I do not meant the day before
Or those of months ago,
But all the yesterdays in which
I had the chance to grow.
I think of opportunities
That I allowed to die,
And those I took advantage of
Before they passed me by.
And I remember that the past
Presented quite a plight,
But somehow I endured it and
The future seemed all right.
And I remind myself that I
Am capable and free,
And my success and happiness
Are really up to me.
Poet: James, J. Metcalfe
I read this somewhere: The people you are comparing yourself with are on 10th chapter and you are on 5th chapter. So stop comparing. I'll reach to those chapter at my own pace. This helps me a lot,in gym,in office ,in any skill, you can apply this concept anywhere
Keep on feeling all the alternatives to be better, inside yourself. create a possible outcome inside your head if possible. Remain in it. Sometimes pinches of the fantasy that you create in your head could feel (not become) true ..
I feel that the topic of people making fun of INFPs and depression/suicide should be addressed more. Not only is it harmful to INFPs and people who are actually depressed/suicidal, it’s also giving an idea to everyone else to continue this stereotype which is highly toxic
This is very relatable. A rare find. I've always felt lonely because there are hardly any enough relatable content anywhere.
When somone asks me are you rilly fine almost always gets me
Are you really okay?
@@Zee-sj3bq7dm4v oh hi there ya I'm good over all but the occasional out burst of ether dought that my friends care about me or self hatred can be disheartening and make me feel bad I know they will pass eventually and I can get back to being normal and productive but there is also the flip side of the coin were i can be a compleat maniac and loss myself and have vary little control of my actions untill I get told off and then i slip into one of the two negatives mentioned before, all in all the problems that arise from this is that I'm not very productive most of the time, I am enuff to get by, but it gets in the way of things being as easy as they should be,
@@keithbagley6917 so when your friends tell you these things it makes you less productive because then you start thinking negatively, right?
my observations and comments:
INFP:
1# Cry me a river of chemicals
2# I'm trying to love myself, keep quiet, like your in my library
3# I'm organised, but not necessarily for organization
4# I'm not Suicidal or Depressed, i have an existential crisis
5# If your my passion, it will be a down pour cause Noah gonna sail this ark
INTP in contrast:
1# I'm a machine, i have circuitry to process my emotions, like the equalizer on 80's boom box
2# GET OFF MY LAWN
3# I organize to have space to find things
4# I can't figure this out, give me some space and time. if i'm feeling troubled i'll self medicate at GNC.
5# You have my humility and loyalty, if you can get shit done like muthafuckin Pro.
Even my counseling professors misunderstand me. It’s hard being so in tune emotionally and sensitive and also externally quite stoic people just do not understand
Thank you for debunking all of these!!! I often felt confused like, I don’t cry unless I’ve been seriously wronged or I’m watching or reading something extremely sad. I actually feel really bad when someone close to someone I know had passed away (or I may even may have known them distantly) and I cannot cry unless I’m concentrating on the person who is crying and feeling how they feel in that moment (then I shed a tear and tell myself to man up and stay strong for that person!).
With regards to the whole “not being organised” thing, you’re absolutely right. At home I’m an utter mess and although it drives me nuts, I find it difficult to maintain a clutter free environment although I will try to consciously sort this out once in a while. However, at school or at work my organisational skills are impeccable and yes, I get very annoyed at others for not being as organised if it’s affecting their ability to complete a task in a timely manner as I hate inefficiency in the workplace 😂😂😂 now I know how my partner (an INTJ) feels at home.
The last point- sheesh, this one’s a bit of a tricky one as I have an incredibly dark sense of humour (sometimes even more so than my INTJ s/o) but I keep them to myself if I know I’m going to offend others and definitely would not like to trigger other people or make them feel bad about having a mental health problem because (like many INFPs) I can totally relate to it. But you’re spot on - being an introvert itself is a huge factor in determining whether you are more susceptible to depression and anxiety and then add being an intuitive and a feeler and boy, you’ve got yourself a special cookie right there haha! It is ironic how thinking types can make fun of feelers for being feelers (because as you said they see it as a weakness) but even thinkers (especially if they are introverted and intuitive) are prone to depression (they just don’t like to draw attention to / accept it!).
I was worried this video would receive negative reactions as INFPs can come across as giving a lecture when discussion things close to their values / beliefs, especially because we can sound rather monotonous when speaking but honestly I was laughing the whole way through at how it was delivered in such an INFP way 😂
1. Crying feels great. I make up occasions in my mind that make me cry but crying infront of anyone... nah.
2. Yep, especially cutlery falling on the floor gives me this slight heartpiercing sting. Though I don't agree with that "yough's screeming at night"- argument: I see it as a sign of them enjoying the moment, it even has the potential to lighten up my mood sometimes since it reminds me that life isn't always this cruel and bland.
3. Organizing is a fun thing to do. But I get my mind stuck in thoughts and random tasks that I easily forget it for days.
4. Well we are prone to depression but dealing with it can be an insightful challenge to deal with. (hope that doesn't offend anyone)
5. Being strong is a subjective term anyways. Only because we don't live up to social standards or show our progress or whatever it doesn't automatically have to mean we are weak.
6. Yep social selection and mood are big factors in this perspective.
I'm an INFP and in my early teens I tryed to see how long I could go without crying to act tough'er and fit in, with the competetive nature of my classmates. I did not cry for over 3 years.
This was especially toward a rival I had who was subcontiously wieved as the alfamale in my class. I mean he was the son of the shcool inspector and could get away with everything (even though I know that was not true, but he acted like it, and everyone feared that) (He obviosly got punished bad at home which reflected his behavior in the class).
He was also violent at times, burstingly wild and was very strict and yet striving in shcool. He often got the best grade especially in math. Bit of a dictator and punisher that was wild when playfull. Dangerous to be around if not careful.
Seems like a rare combination to have a calculating bully who was physically buff, wild and smart at the same time. He made many cry by hitting them or simply being too physically forcefull to his surrounding and I refused to let him internally hurt me or control me. Which is a classic need to an INFP who always hates being controlled by others without their permission. I mean to the core.
I used Terminator 2 as an inspiration to make my self tough. Made it my trance to feel like a Terminator at all times or at least in the dangerzones. Cold calculating and scanning surroundings, dont show pain exspressions etc.... Yes you guessed it... Terminators cant cry. All I got to do is to stay in character when needed, which was often back then. There is alot more to this story, but hours writing it here.
All INFP's is like a hermit and has the ability to outwheather any storm if they really want to and this little story is a good example of that. It's also a personal record... (I think). Because I stopped menitoring myself and play Terminator after I stopped being around him. My sourroundings where changing so I needed to change and it has been tough to stop being that Terminator and change back to human in social situations after that but I made it (dont worry ;D).
This was simply a survival idea I tryed for my situation and to test my self and my potential in it. I reframed bad experiences into challenges I needed to take to grow stronger.
For example when people call you a name like crybaby, idiot or stupid are you just going to accept that as truth and believe it? Well I did for many years even long before this experimental exploration I did. I was tired of naively believe what people told me and wanted to find and prove the truth to my self so I could be right for ones. Little did I know that I was almost always right, but had a bad habit of neclecting my gut feeling Fi + Ne. So other people decided what I was or what I weren't so I which was never the real truth so I decided around age 11 or 12 to always test others and my own theories at least twice or reset them and explore that. To see if I could find a newer and more accurate conclution now or in the potential future. Have done that ever since.
I learned to take physically pain very well however.... I did tear up a little one time I sprained my angle (it made 2 snap/crack sounds when tripping + twisting it and I fell on my forward down a few stairs in a tag game situation out of a door). I forcefully held everything in and hid my expressions as I had for over a year now and only turned my face towards him when I I thought I was sure I could hold it in (Maybe 10 - 15 seconds later). I almost broke there. "I cant hold this in the pain is too great" I thought. Also this is too serious to play around with so let it go... and to my suprice it whent from unbareble to easy to hold it in and I faced him.
My rival who was a proud physically bully & stereo macho type of a guy who really challenged me. Perhaps he was a ESTP or ISTP (Not sure) he asked shocked and puzzled after my fall, "Dont you ever cry?". I said "no, not really" (something like that) and I realized how silly this was. But I couldn't let that stop my roll of not crying. Esspecially not in front of him. As so many others he finally realized he have been underestimating me and I was not what he thought I was when it comes to being tough. Or at least his idea of being tough. He respected me more from that point and perhaps he saw me as a rival now.
I outdid him in many ways bc I kept catcing up to him and pull away where he could not follow. I didn't think that was possible for a time, but by following my potential I could do it. I am quite thankful for that today. I learned so much and it tested my limits and found what was beyond those limits and beyond those limits etc. I really needed that push I gave my self back then and the next step was to undo it all again. That's another chapter however now... I can and DO cry a lot more :D. Took me many more years to get rit of that Terminator survival trigger.
I HATE crying in front of people but I really struggle to keep it in im so emotive and my emotions are so overwhelming at times ngl im definitely a cryer
I have 3 close INFPs. They NEVER cry in public and will tuck those emotions inside... until they're alone with a very trusted person and even then, I have to give them permission to lose it...
With the exception of one INFP I know. She's very toxic and cry for attention constantly🙄🙄
I agree it's not common for INFPs to cry in public. And we often have the problem of penting up our emotions and not expressing them outwardly.
@@MeAnINFP maybe we need to learn to cry a bit more in public and not bottle things up
As an ENTP I just reflect on the overpushing of the dark humor. Its mostly not because I personally laugnhing on it, but I enjoy the consternation of the other people. For me the reactions is the funny part not the joke itself. Its trolly yeah, I know. I dont use it like everywhere, I'm not a blunt idiot, just if I'm in a company where I feel comfortable.
The ppl I know that cry the most are actually SFP types lol ... or SFJs
Ann Smith I mean it’s like she said later on, crying is actually healthy for you :)
ISFJs cry weekly. No bottling up!
I cry a lot. From a lot of different feelings. But...
only when I'm alone.
I've broken down in public and cried because I sometimes don't have control over my emotions...
I realize that INFP don’t like to be label 🏷 or associated with something that doesn’t match themselves.
The suicidal example is perfect. We can see that she is clashing with the idea of being dead. And, we can see the distaste when she talk about the lousy people, because she see herself as quiet and calm.
She also said “ this is not me “ so projecting the best image that represent herself is important. Being criticized is a no no, because, for her, it is bad to judge someone for who they are.
Yeah, I had some pretty dark fantasies about what I would do if anyone tried anything with my cats. They weren't pretty. It was around that time when I genuinely wondered if I might actually be a sociopath.
Just because I have to love my fellow neighbor doesn't mean I have to like them
Every attack on infp is born of insecurity.
If they trust you, they will keep complaining to you though in a crying tone, (it's okay I like listening to them) but they don't literally cry. I am an Intp and you're right, I do make fun of infps being crybabies although I know in fact they're not.
Intelligent people actually
As soft as we appear, at least we don't give in easily. Soldier on comrades ✊
Once my stepdad was trying to convince me trump isn’t that bad and he said to my mom “I’m getting through to her” when in reality I was just listening to his side but that didn’t mean I agreed with him.
I think it’s less loving everyone and having a tolerance because I genuinely want to know their story and understand their experience. I gravitate towards older people for this reason. And my thing is I like people on the individual level. But as soon as we enter the “group”, I turn into a misanthrope
For me,as an INFP, I rarely cry. Only cried in public once in my life. Didn’t like it at all. Whenever I have its mostly in public. If I realize that I need to cry, I have. I suppose I keep myself distracted so I keep that depression at bay and keeping myself from feeling. That tends to be unhealthy and I realize that, then I go back to finding my purpose and finding my why, then I fine myself free to feel again.
If I feel I am fulfilling my purpose creatively , spiritually, being apart something bigger than myself, I tend to not feel depressed or not cry.
I am organized at work, but not at home, so that’s correct.
Many observations you have are correct as I relate to them as an Infp, but as you say overcoming neuroticisms is one thing we tend to do even if we forget and fall back into that.
6x I cried in public in my entire life.
1. When my dad passed away and we as family travelled up by train not by his driving last drive he gave me n little brother was just before he died... I was losing my grandad at the same time too. I literally faced the window to cry and hid my face. I couldn't control it I cried day n night for a week. Or so...
other time was crying in hospital when my
2. grandad was passing away. It should have been private but nurse stood there n watched n mocked me.
So 1/2. Loss
Maybe little bro passing when on the phone to emergency
3. When my ex friend was abusing me verbally on the phone also blaming me for things that were not my fault about a family member. We both went into care because of abuse at home. He was blaming me for her going into foster care when I could of took her on. But I was homeless and went into hostel for support.
I was on my time of the month at the time but I left public street and went to hide somewhere to cry.
4. Same thing again happened where he abused me in a shopping centre at that time of the month. Claiming me to be his young sister and scolding me like a dad figure to draw attention to everyone to humiliate me. I walked away angry. But at first both times before people came. He was angry because I would not let him control me and my decisions. We were picking paints the second time and the first time I was looking for ideas for a laundry basket. I had an idea for a bench near the window next to the kitchen and he told me I was not to make any decisions around any of it. And I was to follow his plan for me. It was not his home. He was only a friend. But he turned out to be a bully and a control freak.
I cried in shopping centre because he was blaming me again on that time of the month and very much in pain.
5. In front of close friends when abuse at home was 7 years on and I could not survive it again I had a miscarriage due to night rapes. And I was not in a stable place because of it all. It affects emotions like crazy.
6. In front of my good female friend when support was not supporting me and things were getting too much and they were using fear tactics and threats to force me into submission to their control freak ways and forcing pills on me.
I was struggling with the choir and she could see I was not coping and asked me if I was ok and she knew I wasn't n it just came out n I hid my face n went to the bathroom luckily everyone was seated and turned away from us.
Sweet collaboration!
Really enjoyed your post, very honest and, while I can’t speak for others, I found it personally reassuring and quite humorous.
I absolutely agree that we can handle dark humor but we always have a line in the sand. We definitely don’t get enough credit for that.
Side Note: Love that one of your biggest problems was the lack of creativity. Had to pause I was laughing so hard. Those words come come out of my mouth often. I mean if you’re going to try and ‘get’ me, put some effort in. Now I’m almost more insulted by that, than stupid meme itself.
Thank you for explaining us so well, I agree with everything you said. 😊 - Internally I can get emotional very quickly but I can't remember the last time I cried in front of someone, it almost never happens. Actually most people wonder why I'm so calm and collected all the time. - Oh yes I can be evil if I want to, I give people the benefit of the doubt first but with some people I have no mercy, I think in an extreme case I would even take the law into my own hand (I'm also a leo). But I guess we INFP are more likely to be passive aggressive because we hate confrontation. - Yes there were times where I was depressed too and I couldn't motivate myself to do anything but I was never really suicidal. As you said the older we get the stronger we become because we learn that life is like a wave, sometimes it goes down but it will eventually go up again. For example when my last boyfriend broke up with me I of course was sad for a while but soon I realised he's not right for me, so I moved on and never looked back. - Oh hell yeah I can talk like a waterfall if I feel comfortable with someone or in a small group, they should make a meme about that. ;) Some people think I'm an extrovert because of that. Btw I'm an INFP who likes black humor and sarcasm to a certain extent but I rarely see or hear a good such joke that makes me laugh, again like you said, most jokes are just utterly old and boring to me.
I agree, I hate to cry in front of others and am very stoic when I'm not with others. People say I look intimidating. So, I just don't understand that misconception.
Regarding organization, I have been told that I could get paid big money simply because of my organizational skills. I relax more when I come home from work, but I still like to have organization at home because it keeps my mind clearer.
Regarding having a strong will, I definitely have one. I generally temperate it because I don't want to offend others, I think that is where the problem is - we are being kind so that we don't offend anyone. But many people take that positive trait as a weakness, when, we are trying to be kind to others.
Thank you for posting that video - a very true message from an INFP.
I use to not cry easily but then depression happened and now I cry at cue.
I hate crying infront of other and it has only happened a handfull of times. I do have easy to cry if i watch some emotional show or movie, but when I do I kinda fight against it and have a mental debate if its logical or silly to cry.
My room, organized chaos I know exactly where everything is. After I clean, cant find anything.
straight to my soul.
INFP here, never cry. It sucks because you just have to let it out sometimes, but I just can't.
Whenever I actually do manage to cry, It's immediatly followed by tears of joy once the pain is over.
Yes, we will rise up. I have been through a ton and have never given up.
As far as crying, I do cry easily but I do it alone, not out in public. I agree that it is more unhealthy to not be able to cry and I often contribute my ability to do so as one one of the reasons I have not totally lost it during certain times in my life. That and my faith first.
I am not messy and was a commercial cleaner for years before a bad back forced me out if it. I have a keen eye for detail too. Where I am off a bit is my sense of time. I do struggle to be on time for things, but can certaintly do it if I try. Hate being boxed into a 9-5 type deal and fair much better sailing my own ship, but I am also chronically ill so this may be why this works for me moreso than personality type.
The problem with our society I think is that it is a walking paradox. On one hand, there really is no line anymore and if one dares to take offense to anything, oh my God they are so sensitive, yet more than ever we are hyper aware of sexual harrassment, the environment and as you pointed out, animal issues. There IS a line and pointing out that it should not be crossed does not make one a sensitive, whiny cry baby, it means they have ethics and standards and do not believe everything is game.
Society is a walking contradiction this way and because we are very in touch with our ethics and feelings, we can see this and point it out.
I agree that infps tend to get disproportionately picked on in comedy sketches. And yes, we do not like everyone and tend to have strong opinions. I personally am very humanitarian though and am very easily moved by the plights of people, but I also get pissed at how blind I feel a lot of people can be toward certain things. To me it is "right there", yet they just flock to it anyway. Its disquieting, really.
So who is going to change their channel name to Precious Cinnamon roll first? You or me?
Corduroy and Maple i like your thoughts - and sense of humour!
My room is super messy. SUPER MESSY. But it gets to my nerves at the gym when people dont put the plates and the dumbbells in the right places. There are Labels showing the right places to put the right weights and people simply seem to absolutely ignore it. I get infuriated. I also hated, as a kid, to lend my pencil crayons to anyone because they'd often get so disorganized. I'd spend a lot of my time just organizing the colors in the correct order they came in the pencil case. My Mangas are also organized by title and number as well
I do have the capacity to cry easily, but I dislike hearing about it over and over because it's no longer new knowledge to me. I want to hear/learn new things. Or I would want to learn more about the why's. It's probably also because I inherently don't like being put in a box ...and also because I hate crying. :)
I'm pretty emotional INFP, but:
1) it is "automatically controlled" when I'm in (any kind of) work process. Habit is the thing.
2) crying in front of people would be my personal disaster. I don't like too much attention (and it don't help in problem solving while I have to do something), and usually don't want to bother others with my problems. If there's something I need to talk about, then I'll do it with my friends. Like other types could do.
3) my face somehow is emotionally neutral most of the time. My eyes sometimes take all this work on them, but it's something that I more or less can control.
And just in case someone who reads is curious about it. I can experience positive emotions. They also can be very strong. And hidden if in public.
Jim Carrey is obviously going through something right now
Bullseye on all points.
She is indeed an INFP and well versed in said mindfulness.
I have not been aware of being depressed since I was quite young, being bullied non stop at school (junior high, you Yanks call it middle school I believe) and home caused me to vacillate between depression and lashing out at those who initiated the attacks (at first verbally and then only in self defense). I created a verbal warning system, to make those who dared to continue this behaviour, aware that I would no longer tolerate it ad infinitum. When confronted with a verbal and demeaning attack from one of my many detractors, I would say `Shut the F... up or I am going to hit you`, they were given three warnings at which point WHAM! P.S. I used the entire word and not just the letter :-p
Now I do not condone my behaviour but sometimes drastic measures appear to be the only solution (to my way of thinking, having tried all other avenues, and an Ne can think of many such tributaries of possibilities), this was my final and inexorable conclusion to show the depth of the impact these continued daily assaults were having on my already damaged psyche (Ti demon made his appearance).
Consider this, no teacher or other adult came to my defense. This did inevitably result in, ironically, me being labelled (by the teachers) as a bully. But it also, after about a year or so, ended the litany of insults I was bombarded with on a continual basis.
Once a group of my old adversaries (now high school), having enlisted a toady, tried a resurgence of these old habits. During lunch in a rather large cafeteria, they threw orange peels and insults at me in quick succession, having a slurpee (slushy) in hand I responded in kind.They escalated their verbal tirade, I jumped the table with one hand and grabbed the lead malefactor (their new toady), I told him `name a place and we will settle this after school`, having realized the entire cafeteria went silent (it included teachers) and I was heading for a possible 3 day suspension. He declined to show, and I had the respect of every tough in my school, they nodded to me in the halls after that.
Sorry for my lengthy diatribe on my youthful experience, and inevitable solution, to my early depression. That was not the end of my troubles of course, but the next story is even longer so I will have to forego it at this juncture. Oh the lengthy revisionary life of the INFP, you do not want to know how many times I edited, deleted, and added to this post. And I carefully tried to limit my usual and extemporaneous predilection to go off on tangents. Not kidding even. One thing I really love about the INFJ, they will politely let me do so, and as soon as the opportunity presents itself, bring me right back on point. See, tangential tendencies.
I'm an infp and I would describe my heart as a diamond filled with liquid love. Super hard and super soft at the same time. I'm a super happy infp. Tip: fi needs to be really informed. Otherwise our philosophy is less profound. Make fi more competent. But if you are an infp you are probably already doing this haha
I usually get closer to crying from the fear of crying in public, and not the actual situation I’m in
I am SO glad I found this video. I always get INFP on the tests and when digging deeper it became clear that FI and Ne are my dominant functions. HOWEVER I was and still am turned off by the stereotypes they get as cry baby airheads. I feel that INFP DO feel a lot but we tend to keep it hidden behind a tough exterior. I hate looking emotional Infront of others and get often get called stoic or cheerful (on high energy days). We are empathetic and I think that helps us get along and understand others, but often keep others at a distance when it comes to our own thoughts and feelings. And we definitely don't love everyone or fantasize about marrying everyone, we honestly have a pretty big dark side, and (can only speak for myself) tend to really like dark humor and learning the darker sides of things....but while still being able to see good and beauty in it.
What's worse than depression is when you're bipolar scizoaffective. Medication helps, but it's not a cure.
I feel like countries should feed their starving ppl not prison inmates. So yeah I don't love everyone. I'm an INFP 4w5.
Even though we lead with a judging function. We are generally not judgmental. I don't think there is anyone I hate, dislike maybe, and I've met some nasty people. I have also seen somewhere that a person with borderline personality disorder, the percentages are much higher for the person being an INFP. NF's tend to be the ones I notice with addiction problems and depression. But that last bit is more my own anecdotal observation, mixed with some literature. Plus my ex's middle child has BPD and a touch of Bipolar, she tested as INFP-T. I knew she was INFP before she did the test. I'm an INFP-A 9w8, and never had any thoughts of suicide or depression. Good video.
@@annsmith936 I can agree with that to a point. Perhaps I may have been able to articulate my thought more clearly. For sure INFPs judge constantly, sometimes outwardly. All types do, as we all have judging functions. I Just find myself and other INFPs and some of my ISFPs friends are less judgmental. Maybe it's in the definition of the terms. And Perhaps I shouldn't talk on behalf of all INFPs with the royal we. Or ISFPs as I don't know how it works for them. And I believe I am enneagram 9w8, so I may differ from other INFPs in that regard. So this is how the cognitive functions seem play out for me. I am judging all the time on various things, but not in way may be seen as a judgemnetal. Or a harsh way. Because my Fi judgement function is backed up with Ne a observing and idiating function. It is a different dynamic to other types, obviously. I'll try to give a real life example.
I see a man doing what I deem morally bad, or the wrong thing to do. So I make a judgement on the action, or the mans behaviour. I accept it as this. Then my Ne combined with Fi starts looking for what would make someone want to do this. I begin searching for possibilities. In a forgiving way, trying understand it from the mans perspective. There must be a good, or alternative reason. Searching for the good. Trying to forgive. I won't sign off on my judgement because my Ne won't let me. There could be another underlying factor I don't know about, so I can't make a judgement. Sure there some serious things that may be obviously bad, and it's black and white to most, I always seem to find grey in there. I know this is definitely a different reaction to my INTJ friend and my ISFJ friends, the man is as guilty as sin and deserves everything coming to him. Though my INTJ friend will battle to contain her judgement, I can feel her blood boiling. I hope this makes sense. 😁
@@annsmith936 No problem. Can I ask your first language?
@@annsmith936 wow, I'd get confused saying hello in the morning, with that many langauges. 😁 I have enough trouble saying hello in Australian English. 🤣
Hate and dislike really are the same thing. It is like saying I'm not a murderer but at heart you wish people dead. We are all murderers and hating or disliking is also murder. We intentionally or not we are killing ourselves and others.
@@healingandgrowth-infp4677 I wouldn't say they are the same thing at all. Neither by definition, nor level of intensity. There is quite a bit of distance between them in my opinion. Love would be an opposite for hate, like would be the opposite of dislike. If I had a disdain for someone or something that would be getting closer to hate. If I greatly despised someone or something that might be slightly closer to hate again.
If I dislike someone, I wouldn't equate that to wanting to murder someone. One may have the thought to lash out verbally, or strike a blow. Depending on how well you can manage your emotions. You may dislike someone's behaviour, though love or like them as your friend, Brother, Sister, or Mother, or Father. If I despised someone I wouldn't feel the need to murder them.
You could say, we are dying from the moment we are born. And we spend our lives eating to stay alive, in the pointless pursuit of trying to defy death. Though we are really trying prolong life, whist waiting to die. Those are some ways to look at it. To be accused of murdering someone, you would have to of show your intend. If someone was to dislike, or even hate someone, doesn't mean that there was intent to kill them. You may have thought it. A thought doesn't equate to an action.
ENFP's indeed seem one of the types most often depressed, like indeed comedians. I wonder if ENTP's are more often depressed than average too? Then it would be infp's, enfp's, intp's and entp's being types farily often depressed. They all share the low Si function, which I I sometimes suspect to be related to feeling depressed. With infp's and intp's I've wondered if PORL Se is related too, since types with high Se seems full of life energy (like Love Lu for example)
P O W E R - R E D - B U L L seems legit
My wife is an INFP. She cries all the time. At least once a week. I think I've cried 3 times in my adult life. Death of my father, the time I thought I wouldn't get to see my newborn for a year, and once when I was under extreme stress with the odds stacked against me. My anecdotal evidence is that they do cry frequently.
I can't imagine crying only 3 times in adulthood. I was told a stray cat I fed a few times was hit by a car, and it emotionally grounded me for weeks (at age 30), and I probably actually cried 4 or 5 times. That was just a stray cat
@@DandinXY I admire your compassion. From the INTJ world, crying doesn't solve anything, so I almost never do it unless the situation is entirely out of my control, unsolvable and has a huge emotional investment--like my family or close friends.
@@annsmith936 by that logic no one ever cries a lot because no one ever cries continuously. I'm sure if you polled people, crying daily it weekly would be considered a lot. Among INTJs the fact that I have cried three times may be considered a lot.
@@darkpixel2k I'm an INFP and I don't think I've ever cried about a current problem I'm having in life. Crying just isn't how I react. I usually cry about things that aren't even real, like movies and tv shows.
@@annsmith936 Yes, but that makes all observations subjective and useless. Polling the population to see what the average person thinks is 'too much' to come to a consensus is generally accepted. I haven't looked for any studies, but my 'gut instinct' says the population would find crying weekly to be 'too much'. Maybe even an indicator of depression. Maybe a psychologist will read this and give a professional opinion.
I have cried in public but it was when I was really struggling with depression so I normally never cry in front of people because I do hate crying in front of people.
Crying in public is a NIGHTMARE. I will run and lock myself in the bathroom if I need to cry at work. When I started crying in public I knew I was in a very dark place.
If I do talk about my emotions I will say it with a smile and pretend it doesn’t bother me
I am an INFP... And yes, I cry a lot, sorry that I fit the stereotype haha
I love these videos I feel more understood and less alone knowing there’s other people like me 🥰
It always feels so invalidating and alienating to me, as someone "with depression", when people talk about it as if it is some sort of individual 'chemical imbalance' rather than a legitimate response to mostly environmental factors.
And I do think certain "disorders" tend to cluster around certain types because those types are not as well-adapted to how our current society is structured (INFPs in particular)
I just found out about these personality types...I think I am INFP. A lot of these things she says ring true for me.
I actually am diagnosed with anxiety and depression BUT I believe my strong Fi was a thing that held me back even when my brain chemistry was acting horribly. My faith and values were HUGE, as though they had prepared me to face that challenge. When the doctor asked me if I had had suicidal thoughts I said, “Yes…but I am a Christian and I do NOT believe in doing that!”
Obviously I still needed…and got…help. I was totally horrified that my brain was tossing things out that were so antithetical to what I stand for. But I think my faith was a huge help in enduring it and getting to where I could get that health.
I also leaned heavily on my VERY ENTJ dad during that time because I knew on some level I needed that push to productive action. Which ultimately led to me admitting the full truth of what was going on and getting the help I needed.
Its ok for INFP to be incredibly sensitive, just do it over there for a while as well please ugh I swear Ill call you back when Ive recharged. Places tiny pillows in a room for your comfort*
I disagree with the regular crying thing. Thinkers don’t cry much because we have different ways to deal with life’s issues. We don’t necessarily feel sad with difficult problems.
Fi is not keeping your feelings inside and Fe is not letting feelings out. Feeling and Thinking is how you make decisions. Fi is putting yourself (your-internal-feelings or your logic) before others (others-external-feelings or logic), but not in behavior, but to make decisions. Myself-with high Fe-I basically cry when anyone around me is crying and then I put their needs in mind. But also, I don’t really hate people,
at all, for any reason, and could never say that-also hard with Fe. Statistically-INFJ’s-have a higher rate of suicide.
I have anger issues and could easily sway to hate people very easily, but I prefer harmony and peace over hateful things... My angry, protective, justice-seeking, outbursts might say otherwise but still. So I fit the stereotype.
I freaking hate crying in front of people. Always felt that way. Would hide and cry. And still do.
This channel is getting so cool. I DREAM THAT ONE DAY WE WILL REACH A CONSENSUS IN THE PERSONALITY COMMUNITY.
Matt Montegomery that would be sooooooo boring. regards, Ne aux 🤣
@@AS-jq4lb Haha, an INFJ can dream.
I find the idea of a 'personality community' really weird. But that's just me, I guess ......
@@nozecone It is a strange concept, that's for sure.
As an INFP… I *definitely* don’t love everyone. And I think really few people would be compatible with me as friends or a partner. When there are cars that are obnoxiously loud with their music, screeching tires and whatnot, I genuinely wish bad things upon them. When people are irresponsible with fireworks? The potential loss of a limb/eye is their problem. If you attack someone/groups purely based on differing beliefs and values, I will feel anything but empathy for you. We are caring souls, but we can be very cold and uncaring if you give us reasons for it. We just aren’t always so vocal about it. We don’t budge, when it comes to our values.
8:33
Yesss. I have three close friends and close family members. They’re very dear to me. But a (relative) stranger (can be a classmate or something)… I just don’t care, most of the time. Unless I believe there may be compatibility. It’s part of my struggle to make new friends. The bonds I have with the ‘pre-existing’ friends are tight. And perhaps people may find that intimidating and hard to try and fit into the ‘established order’ (it sounds very un-INFP-like, but with my friends… Yeah, I have something of an established order. And it’s really different to society’s). In high school, my parents would oftentimes ask ‘How’s _insert classmate_ doing?’ Don’t know, don’t care. I don’t know them on a deep sort of level or anything so I have no reason to care. But every relationship starts with two people not knowing each other. So, I believe beginning stages of relationships could be exceptionally difficult for me. And well… I’m not the one to initiate. That’s very foreign to me. It’s healthy to do it on occasion, but… I don’t really. The friends I have now were either strategically put together with me by a teacher, or they approached me. By default, I’m anything but assertive.
Dammit, you're telling me the ONE thing I hate doing and suppress because I feel weak and vulnerable (not because someone told me this is the case), that I'm unhealthy?! UGH! But crying is SO TAXING and DRAINING. I NEVER feel good afterwards. I don't have a safe place to cry on my own, I live in a one bedroom apartment and I don't want my mom always checking on me because I have to essentially become the INFP stereotype due to how much I suppress it... Not to mention I'm prone to nosebleeds during crying! I just don't understand how it'll help me, it fixes NOTHING. The situation doesn't change, whatever I was crying about still is a problem. I'd rather be held or find something to make me smile...
This crying part.
Once when i was a kid, i was bullied in public. And i ran away sobbing while promising myself from that moment i will never ever cry in my own affliction! Its like cold turkey. And now im in my 40s i NEVER cry for my own problem in anything.
But i do cry . but never in a whimper kind of way. Maybe shed a tear or two but only when
1. I am alone
2. And seeing other peoples problem around the world, movie characters, animal etc. Its a lot of burden.
But again i never cry if im the one being treated like $h1*.
I feel like ill lose if i give myself in for other people to look down on me. In fact i feel stronger doing tht.
But yes, i do cry littel tears for other things. That feels like a winner. To feel and understand others.
Awesome video! Someone setting the record straight!
The line for comedy is where the people talking decide it is. When something is genuinely harmful or bullying I know when to speak up though so maybe what you said was right 😂
A misconception is something different than a stereotype. Sure, INFP's crying is a stereotype, but I'm not sure if it's really a misconception too. They obviously do not cry all the time, but it seems they do seem to cry more often than other types. As a result it makes sense that they have a stereotype that involves crying. Or one should argue that any sort of stereotype is a misconception. However, in a way typology is a system that is build around "types" which could be seen as stereotypes or archetypes. Each type type description involves a lot of stereotyping. I am not sure if typology could exist without any stereotyping, as stereotyping is a about a simplied or fixed version of a particular type of people...which seems close to typology types.
P O W E R - R E D - B U L L I mention it being both a stereotype and a misconception. It is a misconception because INFPs don’t cry half as much as the stereotype suggests, and I don’t consider it even a defining trait of INFPs. Sensitive people cry more, not all sensitive people are INFPs.
Yeah I agree with this and really like that last point. Most of what we say about mbti type behaviour is just stereotypes
I think it could also be possible a infp may get withdrawn and voluntarily "lose" the ability to cry and become bitter and unfriendly or become "angry" for their own safety (at least, the way perceived )
How is that so when we never cry in front of other people? In fact INFPs can come off as cold often times
but it seems they do seem to cry more often than other types - guesswork only which is one of the big problems of MBTI lots of pseudo nonsense involved
so positive conductive insights are good. but the wing time is an exploration that gets tuff knowing that amount of trust given and received
People who don't let out their pain, end up inflicting it on others.
2. I don’t love everyone, but I believe most people have the capacity for good. I have hated people, but maybe I’m not looking at them from the right perspective. But if you do an act of evil towards me or the people I love, you no longer exist.
3. I’m very organized at work and when I was in school, I was on top of everything, but at home, my room’s a wreck oh my god
4. Probably not all of us but I’m depressed as hell but I’m on antidepressants now and it’s been working!!
Think I'd be squarely placed as intp, and one of my friends is very likely an infp. Mutual respect is solid when we overcome our rather different ways of going about things, and finding same consensus for different reasons.
I can't get out of my head, and he needs to enter his more often. This might also explain why I find suicide more acceptable than him, since I do ruminate non-stop with little agency on what, whereas he's much more capable of discriminating what process to allow in the first place (though very far from being a narrow-minded square, especially when my implorations succeed)
I’m a huge INFP and historically I have cried a lot that was in my unhealthy phase