They'll believe you eventually. Don't defend yourself. After 18 months to 2 years people see your character has remained consistent. What then happens is you begin to blossom, your confidence returns and you begin to soar! You no longer have to explain yourself or give evidence as people will see with their own eyes that you are FAR better without the narcissist. People will never say but they can see that clearly the problem was the narcissist. Be patient. It will happen. They are not as powerful or as clever as Mr. Tudor would like to pretend. What a group of sad clowns they are! 😂
This backdrop....the expression on his face... Yes, smearing hurts. Reputation, gossip, people turning against you. Made you feel very angry, betrayed, and lonely.
If you do that, by trying to explain and you're not believed by family or friend(because someone got there first) then your relationship with that other person, you'll learn, wasn't what you believed it was(one sided) 'If you don't know 'me' by now!'. And that can prove very hurtful. And you've still got the narcissist left to deal with or not deal with, which ever. You'll be playing into their hands, and you'll end up, being left emotionally drained, hence 'Spiritual/Emotional Vampire'!.
I think a lot of time the family already knows the narc is either a narc or very problematic, and doesn't 'fill you in on the narc' bc they're waiting for the narc to find someone (partner in realtionship) to take the narc offa their hands so they don't have 2deal with the narcs BS.
There is a lot of manipulation with siblings, no one will take the place of the victim, if the victim so they don't confront the perpetrator. There's a lot of triangulation behind people's backs. One less sibling to share the bounty of the will, kind of thing.
This does happen and it is extremely common in abusive, family dynamics. Stepping outside partner vs partner, this is often why children aren't believed by family members when they report physical or sexual abuse. It's only when they go to outside agencies (teachers/ police/care lines etc) that they are believed and more importantly *something happens*
Yes it´s shocking but it happens. My mother´s older sister who is also a narc, who has known me since I was born, turned the whole family against me in one fell swoop out of absolutely nowhere and for no reason. They ALL believed her lies and took her side. Cousins I grew up with, other aunts and uncles. It makes zero sense and shocks and upsets me to this very day. I wasn´t even living in the same country, I wasn´t even there.
My intuition told me this was happening from the start. I failed in taking action. After a year a couple of peiple were smeared against me and I lost. Lesson learned
I suffer major depression and anxiety disorder all my life. Now, I know that I’m actually priced possession for the narcissist. My mental health issues got weaponised against me later and I knew that I couldn’t expose him , because nobody would believe me. I saw the pure horror behind closed doors but he had a quiet good ability to hold himself up in the public. I would be smeared prior to my knowledge and it was impossible to do anything else but run and run fast.
I am gobsmacked that women (predominantly) put up with such bullshit from a partner. It never ceases to amaze me the mental and physical abuse women (and men) will accept and do absolutely nothing. My mother was one of these women, my father is a narcissistic monster and he put my mother and me through hell. (He left my little sister alone). We begged her, we pleaded with her to walk away. We had money, we had somewhere to go but the stupid woman stayed. In a way I should be thankful as he made me the woman I am today. The downside is, I am like him, but I know when to walk away, when to shut up and I have 2 children who I work damn hard at pretending I love them, I loathe touch, but I grit my teeth and hug them. I will never forgive my parents....do not allow a bully narcissist to ruin your children's lives.8 Stop allowing these people to put you down, stop allowing these people to ruin your lives. Just STOP and THINK....if this was your Best friend what advice would you give her?? Take the same advice.
I'm not discounting your story or anything like that but men suffer in silence. There are millions and millions more of us that will never say a word because we're men and we know that we will be treated differently buy society and especially women in general. I just got out of a horrifically abusive marriage which I did not want to end, 15 years and five children together we even buried our third child police showed up in my house last July and said I had 30 minutes together all my belongings leave my key on the counter and exit the home never to come back. I found out another month or two later that she had been cheating on me for years with multiple and I mean multiple married men with children and families of their own. I should have seen the red flags when we met she had about 70 bodies when she was 23 years old. We were fooling around for a little while and she got pregnant I had always wanted a family a large family so I was so excited even though I should have been smarter I wanted kids. And she was good enough for me 350 lb doesn't cook doesn't clean bad attitude disagreeable horrible body habits combative argumentative masculine the list goes on. However I desperately wanted a family and children and she was nice enough to me, at first I was lied to I was cheated on I was emasculated made to feel like I was worthless to her. And while I did not work as much as I should have and I did drink a lot towards the end and I mean a lot I was never belligerent I was never passed out I was never puking I never hit anybody I was never violent even when I wasn't drinking. I never hit a woman in my life I never even spanked my children.
Stupendous! As many have said, 'A lie will be half-way around the world before Truth has It's boots on'. If more people could catch hold of that little priceless gem as well... Thank you HG x
Recently watched a movie: "It Ends with US", a scene where an abuser's sister believed a victim is such a nonsense. In reality, she would defend and side with her brother, accusing a victim of being ungrateful and crazy to say those awful things about him.
Very true. They are very accomplished liars. When their mask does finally slip the better one's feel ashamed of being deceived for so long and becoming accomplices. .
It’s not a lie if everyone believes it….. I lived this episode, completely. Every word of it. He was sneaky but confused it with being clever. I got away, I don’t care what they believe. I don’t care what mask he shows them. I am no longer the sacrifice, and above all I’m not him.
Yes now this would be fascinating knowing her upbringing which was horrific to say the least but from what I have read, she´s not doing so well now since she got out of prison. The sheer and utter hell her mother put her through does not bare thinking about.
They'll believe you eventually. Don't defend yourself. After 18 months to 2 years people see your character has remained consistent. What then happens is you begin to blossom, your confidence returns and you begin to soar! You no longer have to explain yourself or give evidence as people will see with their own eyes that you are FAR better without the narcissist. People will never say but they can see that clearly the problem was the narcissist. Be patient. It will happen. They are not as powerful or as clever as Mr. Tudor would like to pretend. What a group of sad clowns they are! 😂
This backdrop....the expression on his face...
Yes, smearing hurts. Reputation, gossip, people turning against you. Made you feel very angry, betrayed, and lonely.
If you do that, by trying to explain and you're not believed by family or friend(because someone got there first) then your relationship with that other person, you'll learn, wasn't what you believed it was(one sided) 'If you don't know 'me' by now!'. And that can prove very hurtful. And you've still got the narcissist left to deal with or not deal with, which ever. You'll be playing into their hands, and you'll end up, being left emotionally drained, hence 'Spiritual/Emotional Vampire'!.
💯
I'm surprised that family members would take the side of the narcissist when they've known the empath all of her/his life.
I think a lot of time the family already knows the narc is either a narc or very problematic, and doesn't 'fill you in on the narc' bc they're waiting for the narc to find someone (partner in realtionship) to take the narc offa their hands so they don't have 2deal with the narcs BS.
There is a lot of manipulation with siblings, no one will take the place of the victim, if the victim so they don't confront the perpetrator. There's a lot of triangulation behind people's backs. One less sibling to share the bounty of the will, kind of thing.
This does happen and it is extremely common in abusive, family dynamics. Stepping outside partner vs partner, this is often why children aren't believed by family members when they report physical or sexual abuse. It's only when they go to outside agencies (teachers/ police/care lines etc) that they are believed and more importantly *something happens*
@@eViL666WiTcH That is not correct. In fact the obverse is true; they refuse to accept that they have been sold a lie. The facade can be THAT good.
Yes it´s shocking but it happens. My mother´s older sister who is also a narc, who has known me since I was born, turned the whole family against me in one fell swoop out of absolutely nowhere and for no reason. They ALL believed her lies and took her side. Cousins I grew up with, other aunts and uncles. It makes zero sense and shocks and upsets me to this very day. I wasn´t even living in the same country, I wasn´t even there.
My intuition told me this was happening from the start. I failed in taking action. After a year a couple of peiple were smeared against me and I lost. Lesson learned
I suffer major depression and anxiety disorder all my life. Now, I know that I’m actually priced possession for the narcissist. My mental health issues got weaponised against me later and I knew that I couldn’t expose him , because nobody would believe me. I saw the pure horror behind closed doors but he had a quiet good ability to hold himself up in the public. I would be smeared prior to my knowledge and it was impossible to do anything else but run and run fast.
I hope you find a way out of the darkness.
You were just a battery.
I am gobsmacked that women (predominantly) put up with such bullshit from a partner. It never ceases to amaze me the mental and physical abuse women (and men) will accept and do absolutely nothing.
My mother was one of these women, my father is a narcissistic monster and he put my mother and me through hell. (He left my little sister alone).
We begged her, we pleaded with her to walk away. We had money, we had somewhere to go but the stupid woman stayed.
In a way I should be thankful as he made me the woman I am today. The downside is, I am like him, but I know when to walk away, when to shut up and I have 2 children who I work damn hard at pretending I love them, I loathe touch, but I grit my teeth and hug them.
I will never forgive my parents....do not allow a bully narcissist to ruin your children's lives.8
Stop allowing these people to put you down, stop allowing these people to ruin your lives. Just STOP and THINK....if this was your Best friend what advice would you give her?? Take the same advice.
Thank you for sharing your story! 💖
That is the most _incredible_ post I have *ever* read on this channel. Or even the other one.
I'm not discounting your story or anything like that but men suffer in silence. There are millions and millions more of us that will never say a word because we're men and we know that we will be treated differently buy society and especially women in general. I just got out of a horrifically abusive marriage which I did not want to end, 15 years and five children together we even buried our third child police showed up in my house last July and said I had 30 minutes together all my belongings leave my key on the counter and exit the home never to come back. I found out another month or two later that she had been cheating on me for years with multiple and I mean multiple married men with children and families of their own. I should have seen the red flags when we met she had about 70 bodies when she was 23 years old. We were fooling around for a little while and she got pregnant I had always wanted a family a large family so I was so excited even though I should have been smarter I wanted kids. And she was good enough for me 350 lb doesn't cook doesn't clean bad attitude disagreeable horrible body habits combative argumentative masculine the list goes on. However I desperately wanted a family and children and she was nice enough to me, at first I was lied to I was cheated on I was emasculated made to feel like I was worthless to her. And while I did not work as much as I should have and I did drink a lot towards the end and I mean a lot I was never belligerent I was never passed out I was never puking I never hit anybody I was never violent even when I wasn't drinking. I never hit a woman in my life I never even spanked my children.
Stupendous! As many have said, 'A lie will be half-way around the world before Truth has It's boots on'. If more people could catch hold of that little priceless gem as well...
Thank you HG x
Thankyou HG, another lesson learn’t. ❤️🌻
Recently watched a movie: "It Ends with US", a scene where an abuser's sister believed a victim is such a nonsense. In reality, she would defend and side with her brother, accusing a victim of being ungrateful and crazy to say those awful things about him.
SO TRUE, unfortunately.
I had tons of smearing from the Narc …. unbelievable… l at first didn’t know what to make of this … l found it very disturbing 😳
Very true.
They are very accomplished liars.
When their mask does finally slip the better one's feel ashamed of being deceived for so long and becoming accomplices. .
It’s not a lie if everyone believes it…..
I lived this episode, completely. Every word of it.
He was sneaky but confused it with being clever.
I got away, I don’t care what they believe. I don’t care what mask he shows them. I am no longer the sacrifice, and above all I’m not him.
So it´s utterly pointless even trying to explain their behavior to anyone? My God.
Yep
Excellent video HG Tudor. Know your battles and when to pick them. GOSO
GOSO No Contact for ever 👍
Thankfully l had plenty of help from the videos listening again and again to get a true understanding of what was happening…
Can you cover Gypsy Rose
Yes now this would be fascinating knowing her upbringing which was horrific to say the least but from what I have read, she´s not doing so well now since she got out of prison. The sheer and utter hell her mother put her through does not bare thinking about.
HG has done videos about the case some time ago. You will find the two parts under "Dee Dee Blanchard: Munchausen Syndrom By Proxy".
@IBelongToH.G. Oh wow thank you!!