Tristan has amnesia and keeps forgetting what women look like, so everytime he sees one he goes "Wow, that is THE most BEAUTIFUL woman I have ever seen!!!" referring to the fact he hasn't seen any according to his memories
Super "pure" blood always reads like incest to me. You've got the purest blood because your mother was your aunt and also your cousin. Just picture Tristan as one of the Habsburgs with all his "well endowed" blood and it all makes more sense.
whenever i hear abt "pure" blood etc. i just remember that the most coveted (for donation) known blood type, rh null, is probably a result of incest. and theres a single digit number of donors in the world bc it also comes hand-in-hand with hemophilia. but logically i know ppl dont know that much abt blood typing and pure blood bs just a way of discouraging race and class mixing.
Is this author aware that he can just, like, write actual erotica if he wants to include porn scenarios so badly? That "evil plan" has to be the plot of a hentai already.
My husband picked up a 'historical fiction' book that was 50% sex scenes. Authors being in denial about the fact that they write porn seems to happen a lot.
@@PassTheMarmalade1957 random tangent but I hate how 90% of the historical genre is just historical romance. Nothing against people who enjoy it, I’m just personally into historical fiction for military weaponry wank rather than actual wank
@@Aurelian369_ As someone into fantasy, a genre which has skewed somewhat heavily towards either teenage love-triangles or titty-gore, I totally get it.
There is so many manga Arthur that I just wanna say the same thing. Just write porn god demmet I know you want to. And for some of you(couch couch rent a shit friend Arthur) will make batter content that's way
(This started as a typo, but "Pferd" is the German word for "horse", so I kept it, but I also have to explain the pun, because not everybody here speaks German.)
'paragon' means 'receipt' in polish so i think of the necklace as a piece of flimsy paper on a string and it makes me exhale through my nose in amusement
At 30:19 exactly, after he said "imagine if this video finished mid-sentence" my internet connection started acting up and the video stopped. I legit thought it was a gag he edited in but nope, literally just a perfect coincidence.
Tristan: -sees a woman- "She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Also every time you said the name Succu I took damage. It sounds bad, the implication is stupid. I hate it so so much.
He sounds just like the type of person whose nuanced wisdom would serve well in a position of power, setting laws about GSR minorities and women's reproductive health! Just kidding he's already there.
To be fair to Nerissa, main character dude is probably the first person to show her any significant amount of kindness so deciding she's in love with him isn't necessarily because he's the protagonist... but based on the rest of this book it totally is. Inb4 Nerissa becomes a yandere and sexually assaults Tristan but he's into it so it "doesn't count."
This would have been way more interesting if the fifth sorceress planned to seduce Tristan into becoming his wife and birthing him an heir and controlling him and their son from behind the scenes and slowly corrupting them. You know, doing the long con. But then she eventually falls in love with him for real and reforms only for the other sorceresses to return and her secret to come out and lots of drama and shit. That writes itself!!
1:03:50 Knowing that magical creatures are being sent to kill them, they rescue a woman and bring her with them. Thereby putting her in more danger than she was previously in.
"just once i want to see a story where a king goes to some noble and says 'you're the prime minister now, you can have all the power and do all the work while i get drunk and party." my dude, thats the set up for Game of Thrones.
This story is a mess, but there are some interesting ideas here. A school of magic that acts as an oath to a moral code is ripe with opportunities for stories about corruption, redemption, and loopholes in the system. The prince being known for throwing knives could be a marker of his status as a rogue-ish figure trying to escape the stifling life of a kingdom so obsessed with righteousness and honor.
Listen, I hear you, HOWEVER recently prince Charles just became king at 73 and still can't write his name without making a mess and can't pick up a piece of paper that fell to the ground. Prince protagonist is 30 and I can ABSOLUTELY accept he has the mental maturity of a 15 year old.
I remember seeing a video of him needing to sign something and there was stuff on the table, and he just started wildly flailing until someone cleared up the table for him. Like he couldn't comprehend the idea of pushing some stuff aside or picking some things up and putting them down elsewhere. We let this man sign laws.
@@DMurphysLore "We let this man sign laws" and? He doesn't make them, he's there to look pretty and represent tradition. The UK is a republic in all but name.
15 days is a unit of measurement when it comes to sailing in this series because the world building isn’t deep enough to have wind, current, weather, or multiple ship types.
1:00:00 A bird in the hand is of greater value than is that of two birds, that are not in the hand but are instead, in a bush, 'for the two birds in the bush might fly away before you can capture them, whereas the bird in the hand, has already been captured, so its value is greater, being that of an actual possession, rather than that of a potential possession that is considered so, mearly due to your knowledge of where it is. To consider yourself to be in possession of something, you must be able to control that thing or your concept of possession is meaningless.
I came across two copies this book at a “friends of the library” used book sale. It was the last day of the event and they were the only books left on the “fantasy” table
If this prince didn't want to be a king that much, he should have worked on producing an heir as early as possible so that he could give his throne off before he was 60. What was he doing for all those years?
@@Aurelian369_ lots of modern anime avoids that shit, but I agree with you I need to know going in how bad the horrible sex jokes are gonna be in an anime before I dive in
@@turcanudan9386 Except it doesn't matter what type and genre. There's a good chance there's still gonna be weird sex stuff. Stop beinging up strawman fallacies.
At your comment on how there seems to be no form of government besides the king, no nobles, soldiers, judges, mayors, or church, I immediately thought of a nosy knitting circle becoming apocalyptic warlords because they're the closest thing to an authority the village has. Fear her elderly majesty, Immortan Pearl!
@@franciscobrisolladeoliveir9596 It’s like comparing The Room to Suicide Squad. One is hilariously bad, but made by people who had no business being behind or in front of a camera, and the result is comedy of errors. The other is a mess made by supposed professionals in the field, and tons of talented actors barely bringing their C-game to a forgettable superhero movie. Both are train wrecks, but of considerably different size, scale, and enjoyment value for how god-awful they are.
To be fair, Eye of Argon was written by a first-time writer on a typewriter so correcting text was actually a really hard thing to do, plus it didn't go through any editors or proofreaders. And despite all that, Grignr is still a less annoying protagonist
I feel like Newcomb heard that “only women can do magic” in the Wheel Of Time and was like, “OH YEAH. WELL WATCH THIS.” Then wrote what he saw as the opposite. Because women having power clearly upsets him. I like the part where you said they fight giant spiders in a “forbidden forest.” Same as in The Hobbit. And I pretty sure Tristan realizing his endowment and then it causing an explosion that kills the Sorceresses is an allegory for Tristan ejaculating. Also, was the Sorceress’ plan to repopulate the world part of their original plan before the banishment? Or did they come up with it during those 300 years?
Right as you said “here’s a better idea” at 16:00 I got an ad that was like “INTRODUCING DEL TACOS TORTAS” and honestly that was a better idea than anything in this story
... please, PLEASE do a full deep dive on The Adventures of Ayn Rand Al Gore. I remember actually being into it as a kid and I'd love this mess to be unpacked.
Me too, sad that there is little content on him that is not from fans unlike Ayn Rand's original fiction, also i think he said Ayn Rand Al'Thor, ie pun on Rand Al'Thor of the Wheel Of Time, that Goodman had borrowed a lot from in at least the earlier books and Ayn Rand, ie a double meaning of the Sword Of Truth being indebted to the two Rands(i have heard from a reader that while the later books are not necessarily better, they were at least more original).
It's ironic that you said imagine what would happen if Luke didn't leave Tatooine for the first 2 hours of the film, because before the cuts and edits of his wife, Luke was supposed to spend like another 30-45 minutes on Tatooine lol. I guess Luke was supposed to be very indecisive and mope around and talk to his friends and stuff. I love Star Wars, but thank God for his wife since that pacing would have been real bad.
Wasn’t Obi wan supposed to be a frog-man in the original concept Lucas had? I remember a lot of people saying that the first Star Wars movie was saved in editing, because it condensed a bunch of bs that Lucas thought was essential that turned out to just mess with the pacing of the movie.
@@Titere05Idk if "not a very gifted writer" is a fair descriotion of Lucas. He's undeniably very creative, he just doesn't have any control over his imagination and needs to be held in check by strong-willed editors. God knows he's far from the only accomplished writer with such a condition
Fantastic review of a book I've never heard of. My attention is also extremely grabbed by the concept of a 'Fake Married' romance or 'opposites attract' romance between a fantasy king who doesn't want to be king and the person he picks to be queen to do all his work or the person he picks to be PM to do all his work. It just sounds really cute and funny and I can't stop thinking about it now.
Wait. The reluctance of the prince who don't want to become a king sounds like a better conflict for this book, also it pretty out of the box; how many times in fantasy book you met prince who refuse his parents throne instead of fighting to death with his siblings just for regain the king/queen status. Sadly the author not thinking about this and choose to create offensive conflict between men and women
After doing some research on why most of Europe took forever to find the America’s. I was confronted with the fact that people couldn’t deal with scurvy being at sea for so long. One of the only reasons Leif (please kill me if I’m misinformed) got to America was because he was able to get there was navigating by the coastlines of Greenland and among other things probably having an experienced crew. What the author is trying to get at here makes sense, but not from the perspective explanation maybe they should consult the Rime of the ancient mariner for descriptive horrors of sea travel gone wrong. Edit: Forgive my syntax errors, however I will not fix them.
Scurvy is one reason, then there is wind. Sailing means you have to use wind to move, between Europe and America wind usually blow toward Europe. Going by Coastlines gives you time to wait for the right winds while also giving you access to freshwater, but al the Islands up there are cold and of little Interest to most Sailers. The tradewinds are down by Africa, so Europeans hardly knew about them, since there was hardly anything Interesting down there for them. Even the Canary Islands can be reached without them. Wich is an important point in itself: There was nothing out there to sail to. Iceland was found when someone missed the Faroe Islands, Greenland was found when Iceland was missed. There were no known Islands out toward the East that could be missed, so noone accidently landed in the Americas. Even the Azores are far to close to Europe for anyone to sail past them long enough to reach America before realizing they shoot over.
I mean I don't know why the Europeans missed two huge continents, but not only is there tons of evidence that either several African kingdoms (including but not limited to ancient Egypt) had trade either directly or indirectly with the Inca empire, but there's some evidence of Chinese ships off the eastern coast of North America from hundreds or possibly thousands of years in the past.
@@cam4636 Ancient Egypt can't have encountered the Inca as the Inca didn't become an Empire until the 13th century AD. Did you mix them up with another culture?
@@cam4636 American Natives hail from Asia, so some Asians obviously found the Americas by following the frozen lands of the North, however, the Chinese specifically crossing the entire Pacific with nothing to aim for, reach the Americas, then return to tell the Tale is kind of a stretch. More likely some boats drifted there with the crew long gone on arrival. As for Africa, many Cultures on the westcoast were close enough to the Tradewinds to make it possible, but again, there is nothing to aim for. There was no reason to venture out that far to certain death, then randomly finding land and, being sad that they survived, traveling back home to tell others. Some Olmecan statues that maybe kinda sorta look like Africans is rather thin proof. And if anyone found the Americas they should have told someone about it. In the End, that is the reason Kolumbus is consider to have "found" them: He told others and they travelled there themselves.
Krimson Rogues response to the “not a part of the target audience” argument was to hold out Green Eggs and Ham and say “whoops! This wasn’t written for me, looks like I can’t have an opinion on it!” Bit exaggerative but it gets the point across.
So, Tristan post mortem emergency C-sectioned his sister out of desperate hope to try and save her unborn child? Right? It was slightly touching when he realised there was nothing to be done and buried it with its mother? Right? All this didn't happen out of the blue with no apparent character motivation just to make the resurrection scene not weird and super gross? PLEASE??
Uh, this is only marginally better, but he emergency c-sectioned the lead sorceress (Succu?), not his sister, I think his sister just stopped being evil or something after the other sorceresses died.
It wasn’t his sister so I’d say that part isn’t strange, though cutting the clearly dead (she jumped from a tower) baby out for it’s own burial instead of just burying them together was a little weird to me.
1:16:20 I'm listening to this while I'm playing the Splatfest on Splatoon 3 and that whole thing caught me so off guard that I ended up getting splatted. Hahaha!! Seriously what?
Bc it's his kink. Loosely stitching various porn scenarios together with a rickety, threadbare plot, and being burned by the reviews. I would almost bet money that there's a very special lady he pays to read those reviews to him with maximum contempt.
The other thing is: having a character named Tristan and a character named Wiig just unintentionally makes me think of the actress Kristen Wiig, it turns out saying those back to back sounds too similar
This story had so much potential! A magic system based on morality? A monarchy that is actually ruled by a shadow court of immortal mages? A prince who does not want the throne? A sex based magic system where the men are seen as good and the women seen as evil? He could have easily written the sorceresses as procieved evil in a male-dominated society. Maybe the "great war" was actually them fighting for their rights, which is why the male wizards couldn't just kill them Tristan realizes that as king, he'd just be a pawn to to the mages, so he rebells against them, and Natasha uses this to get him on her side in fighting for the sorceresses' rights.
15 days sounds like a Texas unit of measurement since we talk about traveling a distance by time. Such as Houston is 2 hours away from me, no idea of the miles. Though we also have things like speed limits so ours is much more accurate than the 15 days measurement.
TBH, the main character being immature could be handwaved with the fact that he's a spoiled aristocrat, and also his dad, and possible further ancestors, are immortal so will hang around him for a long while, possibly to the point of being overprotective. It could also be that in this world every royal is not seen as a "true" adult until they get immortalized. Weather or not it's addressed like that in the book, or did the author even planned it like that, I do not know. Likely not, but you know, still an interesting tidbit in my opinion.
if Tristan's childishness is doing the opposite, I've seen it done well. namely in Dragon Builders where the hero of DQ1 gave the sword to the Dragonlord in the backstory because he never had a real choice in anything until that moment. up until then he was effectively being dragged along by the plot. this was done to mirror the player character in Builders whose decision to do the opposite what they're told was going to fight someone they were told time and again they coulld not match
This is gonna sound like a weird recommendation, but I’d actually love to see you review the wizard of Oz series. Even though they are childrens books, they are a lot different from modern children books and I definitely think are enjoyable today. There are like 20 books by Baum but none are too long, and I think they are great fantasy books
I think the Wizard no kill law is interesting, it is almost a mirror to modern morality. No killing unless for self protection or fair warning is necessary like a no trespassing sign, but every aspect of it is poorly executed. I think it could have been interesting.
Couldn't the sorceress be executed by a non-magic user, and if the weird protection expands to this still then it would be worth the cost of a wizard per sorceress trade off to ensure no more genocide
Since Amazon recently premiered "The Rings Of Power", have you ever considered reading and reviewing _The Silmarillion_ and the _History of Middle-Earth_ books?
Sword of Truth is always going to hold a special place in my heart, as the first fantasy series I ever picked up, and thus, the fantasy series that taught me so, so many common fantasy tropes.
24:24 as someone who’s trained multiple horses and worked at a barn while growing up , horses behave exactly like giant dogs. They’re absolutely absurd creatures with toothpicks for legs and I wouldn’t be surprised by one playing fetch or something similar, especially a younger one.
Oh man, off Tristan invented the practive of throwing knives? But-- that's not how things work... Such an odd choice. Some mystery person just tried to kill the Prince on the eve of his become King? Who could it be dun dun dun-- Oh wait it was his horse nevermind! Just makes me think Robert Nwcomb is sitting there giggling, I'm so random! I tricked all my readers there! Darn I've been watching too much House of the Dragon! When the prose was talking about all his romantic trists and then mentions his twin sister, 0_0 oh no, but then I was like oh okay that's just an fortunate spot to introduce her existance. Whew. Tristan bathes in the pool of the paragon and it actives his powers and horrifies his wizard advisor-- but it doesn't matter apparently. Wha-- why? Lolol I hear you James, quietly adding an addition to Succieu's name. I like that Geldin becomes more of a full character sympathetic motivations. His sort of character and situation would make an interesting protagonist. This!? This is your amazing villain plan!? Such face-palming to be had! Thank-you for covering this in depth James I've been curious, but knew I didn't want to read it. ^_^;; Hayley ^_^
I had a copy of that book once. I say "had" because I was so enraged by just how fucking terrible it was that I put on angry metal music, fed it through the shredding machine and recycled it as nesting material for my pet rats.
The whole thing about "Women's magic is evil" feels like something the main character's wise old mentor says as foreshadowing that said wise old mentor is the true villain of the movie, Stinky-Pete style
Watch part 2 now: th-cam.com/video/BcySrUwalYQ/w-d-xo.html
UwU
No thanks bro. I’d rather swallow Domestos than hear the plot of this
You are a brave brave individual.
Surprisingly only has 12 likes.
Based Greene
As a bisexual, I can confirm we are all evil.
Definitly we are!!!
What do you expect? All we know is be bisexual, eat hot chip, and lie.
there's no denying what corruption truly seeps our souls
Begone Demon!
I knew it!
Tristan has amnesia and keeps forgetting what women look like, so everytime he sees one he goes "Wow, that is THE most BEAUTIFUL woman I have ever seen!!!" referring to the fact he hasn't seen any according to his memories
True ladies men have no object permanence and say this out loud whenever a woman enters their vision
@@seamussmyth1928Tristan every time he blinks
@@seamussmyth1928as a ladies man I can confirm I am in endless and continuous awe at the beauty of a woman i might or might not already know
"Women be fainting"
I'M WHEEZING
They're wheezing, someone get the fainting couch STAT!
@@cam4636 YES MY LORD! IT SHALL BE DONE POSTHASTE!
'she just sits there and thinks about how evil she is' honestly? #justgirlthings. that's a mood.
Super "pure" blood always reads like incest to me. You've got the purest blood because your mother was your aunt and also your cousin. Just picture Tristan as one of the Habsburgs with all his "well endowed" blood and it all makes more sense.
Or eugenics.
Incest is not the problem with racism, racism is the problem with incest.
Yep. At least GRRM played it completely straight by outright stating that the Targaryens routinely committed incest.
My faceclaim for Tristan is Carlos II.
whenever i hear abt "pure" blood etc. i just remember that the most coveted (for donation) known blood type, rh null, is probably a result of incest. and theres a single digit number of donors in the world bc it also comes hand-in-hand with hemophilia. but logically i know ppl dont know that much abt blood typing and pure blood bs just a way of discouraging race and class mixing.
Is this author aware that he can just, like, write actual erotica if he wants to include porn scenarios so badly? That "evil plan" has to be the plot of a hentai already.
My husband picked up a 'historical fiction' book that was 50% sex scenes. Authors being in denial about the fact that they write porn seems to happen a lot.
At least if he wrote erotica he wouldn't have to worry about the really really poorly written story.
@@PassTheMarmalade1957 random tangent but I hate how 90% of the historical genre is just historical romance. Nothing against people who enjoy it, I’m just personally into historical fiction for military weaponry wank rather than actual wank
@@Aurelian369_ As someone into fantasy, a genre which has skewed somewhat heavily towards either teenage love-triangles or titty-gore, I totally get it.
There is so many manga Arthur that I just wanna say the same thing. Just write porn god demmet I know you want to. And for some of you(couch couch rent a shit friend Arthur) will make batter content that's way
That story would have been great if it turned out that the horse was secretly behind it all. The horse was the 5th sorceress and wanted the throne.
I'm 40 minutes in and just lost all hope. I really thought there was a good reason for that
Yesss
The Fifth Horseress.
@@TheCompleteDM Pferection!
(This started as a typo, but "Pferd" is the German word for "horse", so I kept it, but I also have to explain the pun, because not everybody here speaks German.)
Ah, yes. The Evil Kingdom and The Good Kingdom. The Women and The Men. The Light and The Dark. Mind blowing concepts, never heard of before.
“Yeah, I’m a big fan of Wheel of Time, but not all of that ‘world building’ shit.”
@@Thobeian World building? Whatever are you referring to? Do you mean tossing random names and characters around a vaguely European inspired map?
'paragon' means 'receipt' in polish so i think of the necklace as a piece of flimsy paper on a string and it makes me exhale through my nose in amusement
I live in constant fear that each time I see you will be the last time I see you.
That a proposal?
@@gasmonkey1000 Perchance and/or mayhaps.
@@KellyLoom1s Ah cool
Will he die?
@@KellyLoom1s "you can't just say perchance"
Never ask the Minions what they did in Middle-earth.
At 30:19 exactly, after he said "imagine if this video finished mid-sentence" my internet connection started acting up and the video stopped. I legit thought it was a gag he edited in but nope, literally just a perfect coincidence.
35:17 For a sense of scale, in a 269 page version of The Hobbit, on page 100 you're already out of the Misty Mountains and visiting Beorn's house.
Tristan: -sees a woman- "She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
Also every time you said the name Succu I took damage. It sounds bad, the implication is stupid. I hate it so so much.
James's dedication to adding the silent "-off" at the end _every single time_ made me chuckle, tho.
@@BassBumbass Same here! I thought I would stop laughing at it eventually but I didn't.
Robert Newcomb sounds like someone with very enlightened views on women and gender.
Also, I hear fire is cold.
He sounds just like the type of person whose nuanced wisdom would serve well in a position of power, setting laws about GSR minorities and women's reproductive health!
Just kidding he's already there.
@@peccantis What’s GSR?
@@BrandonPilcher GSRM is gender, sexual, and romantic minorities. It's meant to be a more concise but no less inclusive version of LGBTQIA+.
@@BrandonPilcher gender, sexual, and romantic minorities I think. Basically just LGBT people
He just has a fetish for the bad-girls.
To be fair to Nerissa, main character dude is probably the first person to show her any significant amount of kindness so deciding she's in love with him isn't necessarily because he's the protagonist... but based on the rest of this book it totally is. Inb4 Nerissa becomes a yandere and sexually assaults Tristan but he's into it so it "doesn't count."
I’m thank you for reading bk4 to tell us this so we don’t have to.
This would have been way more interesting if the fifth sorceress planned to seduce Tristan into becoming his wife and birthing him an heir and controlling him and their son from behind the scenes and slowly corrupting them. You know, doing the long con. But then she eventually falls in love with him for real and reforms only for the other sorceresses to return and her secret to come out and lots of drama and shit. That writes itself!!
Oh my word that sounds amazing!!
It sounds like a typical and predictable plot but much better than the crap we got
@@Hello-hello-hello456 tbf I thought that up in three minutes, which apparently yielded a better blueprint than this garbage, so...
So, Lady Jessica from Dune?
@@arempy5836 I don't get the sense that she's evil though
"He invented throwing knives" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
And his father invented walking.
1:03:50 Knowing that magical creatures are being sent to kill them, they rescue a woman and bring her with them. Thereby putting her in more danger than she was previously in.
Fantasy hero man logic peaked there for sure.
The "invented throwing knives" part had me wheezing ☠
"just once i want to see a story where a king goes to some noble and says 'you're the prime minister now, you can have all the power and do all the work while i get drunk and party."
my dude, thats the set up for Game of Thrones.
This story is a mess, but there are some interesting ideas here. A school of magic that acts as an oath to a moral code is ripe with opportunities for stories about corruption, redemption, and loopholes in the system. The prince being known for throwing knives could be a marker of his status as a rogue-ish figure trying to escape the stifling life of a kingdom so obsessed with righteousness and honor.
Listen, I hear you, HOWEVER recently prince Charles just became king at 73 and still can't write his name without making a mess and can't pick up a piece of paper that fell to the ground.
Prince protagonist is 30 and I can ABSOLUTELY accept he has the mental maturity of a 15 year old.
He still has people put toothpaste on his toothbrush and wipe his ass
Ah, good ole coughincestcough
I remember seeing a video of him needing to sign something and there was stuff on the table, and he just started wildly flailing until someone cleared up the table for him. Like he couldn't comprehend the idea of pushing some stuff aside or picking some things up and putting them down elsewhere. We let this man sign laws.
@@DMurphysLore "We let this man sign laws" and? He doesn't make them, he's there to look pretty and represent tradition. The UK is a republic in all but name.
@@ダヴィデ-n3e The king can veto laws though, also influence what laws do get written
15 days is a unit of measurement when it comes to sailing in this series because the world building isn’t deep enough to have wind, current, weather, or multiple ship types.
1:00:00 A bird in the hand is of greater value than is that of two birds, that are not in the hand but are instead, in a bush, 'for the two birds in the bush might fly away before you can capture them, whereas the bird in the hand, has already been captured, so its value is greater, being that of an actual possession, rather than that of a potential possession that is considered so, mearly due to your knowledge of where it is. To consider yourself to be in possession of something, you must be able to control that thing or your concept of possession is meaningless.
High school English essay-type writing
"CHAD-grin, chagrin..."
It's official, CHADgrin should be the new descriptive for the douchey "hero" being cringey & predatory.
"Chad" is usually a compliment though.
@@Mecharnie_Dobbs In the same way as "alpha male" is, which is to say, it's not
Time to make a tv tropes page...
I think you might mean chud
@@Mecharnie_Dobbs only to delusional people. As a meme, sure, it’s a compliment
I came across two copies this book at a “friends of the library” used book sale. It was the last day of the event and they were the only books left on the “fantasy” table
Well, that story started out as disappointing, but ended on a good note. You’re officially a better writer than Robert Newcomb.
If this prince didn't want to be a king that much, he should have worked on producing an heir as early as possible so that he could give his throne off before he was 60. What was he doing for all those years?
Playing a lot like little kid maybe, or daydreaming about past life when he still kid
And all the women in the kingdom falling over him.
Straight up, dude could have had a bunch of bastard children running around to legitimise but nooo
Tristan’s bloodline being as well-endowed as it is, why couldn’t he have just impregnated Shailiha (I had to look up how to spell her name) at 17?
"worst epic fantasy" and yet somehow also "average shonen anime"
the weird sex stuff single-handedly killed my enjoyment of anime
@@Aurelian369_ lots of modern anime avoids that shit, but I agree with you I need to know going in how bad the horrible sex jokes are gonna be in an anime before I dive in
@@seanpoore2428 Same. I really enjoyed jujutsu kaisen and spy x family
@@Aurelian369_ then stop watching sex stuff? You're free to choose the type and genre
@@turcanudan9386 Except it doesn't matter what type and genre. There's a good chance there's still gonna be weird sex stuff. Stop beinging up strawman fallacies.
At your comment on how there seems to be no form of government besides the king, no nobles, soldiers, judges, mayors, or church, I immediately thought of a nosy knitting circle becoming apocalyptic warlords because they're the closest thing to an authority the village has. Fear her elderly majesty, Immortan Pearl!
The Eye of Argon: I'm the worst fantasy novel ever made
The Fifth Sorceress: Hold my magic
Eye of Argon had the benefit of being written by a teenager, this was by a full grown adult
@@franciscobrisolladeoliveir9596 It’s like comparing The Room to Suicide Squad.
One is hilariously bad, but made by people who had no business being behind or in front of a camera, and the result is comedy of errors. The other is a mess made by supposed professionals in the field, and tons of talented actors barely bringing their C-game to a forgettable superhero movie. Both are train wrecks, but of considerably different size, scale, and enjoyment value for how god-awful they are.
To be fair, Eye of Argon was written by a first-time writer on a typewriter so correcting text was actually a really hard thing to do, plus it didn't go through any editors or proofreaders.
And despite all that, Grignr is still a less annoying protagonist
love the shirt, love the introduction song, love the unexplained german in the thumbnails
I feel like Newcomb heard that “only women can do magic” in the Wheel Of Time and was like, “OH YEAH. WELL WATCH THIS.” Then wrote what he saw as the opposite. Because women having power clearly upsets him.
I like the part where you said they fight giant spiders in a “forbidden forest.” Same as in The Hobbit. And I pretty sure Tristan realizing his endowment and then it causing an explosion that kills the Sorceresses is an allegory for Tristan ejaculating.
Also, was the Sorceress’ plan to repopulate the world part of their original plan before the banishment? Or did they come up with it during those 300 years?
Right as you said “here’s a better idea” at 16:00 I got an ad that was like “INTRODUCING DEL TACOS TORTAS” and honestly that was a better idea than anything in this story
Everytime you say Succu-off, my brain almost puts it to One Winged Angel (SUCC-U-OFF).
HELP!
As a friend of mine said when he was drunk: "You have to be a Genius to write something imbecile at that level".
Tristan could see Dolores Umbridge and claim she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.
Blasphemy!
... please, PLEASE do a full deep dive on The Adventures of Ayn Rand Al Gore. I remember actually being into it as a kid and I'd love this mess to be unpacked.
Me too, sad that there is little content on him that is not from fans unlike Ayn Rand's original fiction, also i think he said Ayn Rand Al'Thor, ie pun on Rand Al'Thor of the Wheel Of Time, that Goodman had borrowed a lot from in at least the earlier books and Ayn Rand, ie a double meaning of the Sword Of Truth being indebted to the two Rands(i have heard from a reader that while the later books are not necessarily better, they were at least more original).
@@jAkiosn Oh! Thank you, I could have misheard
@@xTheOneToSaveUsAllx Heh, no problem, just really liked the pun and wanted to share it.
It's ironic that you said imagine what would happen if Luke didn't leave Tatooine for the first 2 hours of the film, because before the cuts and edits of his wife, Luke was supposed to spend like another 30-45 minutes on Tatooine lol. I guess Luke was supposed to be very indecisive and mope around and talk to his friends and stuff. I love Star Wars, but thank God for his wife since that pacing would have been real bad.
Wasn’t Obi wan supposed to be a frog-man in the original concept Lucas had? I remember a lot of people saying that the first Star Wars movie was saved in editing, because it condensed a bunch of bs that Lucas thought was essential that turned out to just mess with the pacing of the movie.
@@Thobeian I guess it's possible, Lucas doesn't strike me as the most gifted writer
@@Titere05Idk if "not a very gifted writer" is a fair descriotion of Lucas. He's undeniably very creative, he just doesn't have any control over his imagination and needs to be held in check by strong-willed editors. God knows he's far from the only accomplished writer with such a condition
"I'm not kinkshaming you, but chill." Has me rolling, omfg.
“Fainting, a common tactic for crappy writers”
Dante Alighieri: :,c
Fantastic review of a book I've never heard of.
My attention is also extremely grabbed by the concept of a 'Fake Married' romance or 'opposites attract' romance between a fantasy king who doesn't want to be king and the person he picks to be queen to do all his work or the person he picks to be PM to do all his work. It just sounds really cute and funny and I can't stop thinking about it now.
Write that Yaoi manga, you know you want to.
@@Thobeian Oh, to have the talent to put out an unhined yaoi manga based on an aside in a youtube vid
The review you had made on it years ago was the very thing that made me subscribe. Nostalgic.
Wait. The reluctance of the prince who don't want to become a king sounds like a better conflict for this book, also it pretty out of the box; how many times in fantasy book you met prince who refuse his parents throne instead of fighting to death with his siblings just for regain the king/queen status. Sadly the author not thinking about this and choose to create offensive conflict between men and women
Hell it seems like there was a big opportunity to make it about a prince being manipulated by everyone around him and becoming his own person.
“prince who rejects the throne” is also a well established trope.
@@keyboardstalker4784 but pretty rare in story and often isn't the main character
After doing some research on why most of Europe took forever to find the America’s. I was confronted with the fact that people couldn’t deal with scurvy being at sea for so long. One of the only reasons Leif (please kill me if I’m misinformed) got to America was because he was able to get there was navigating by the coastlines of Greenland and among other things probably having an experienced crew. What the author is trying to get at here makes sense, but not from the perspective explanation maybe they should consult the Rime of the ancient mariner for descriptive horrors of sea travel gone wrong.
Edit: Forgive my syntax errors, however I will not fix them.
Scurvy is one reason, then there is wind. Sailing means you have to use wind to move, between Europe and America wind usually blow toward Europe. Going by Coastlines gives you time to wait for the right winds while also giving you access to freshwater, but al the Islands up there are cold and of little Interest to most Sailers. The tradewinds are down by Africa, so Europeans hardly knew about them, since there was hardly anything Interesting down there for them. Even the Canary Islands can be reached without them.
Wich is an important point in itself: There was nothing out there to sail to. Iceland was found when someone missed the Faroe Islands, Greenland was found when Iceland was missed.
There were no known Islands out toward the East that could be missed, so noone accidently landed in the Americas. Even the Azores are far to close to Europe for anyone to sail past them long enough to reach America before realizing they shoot over.
I mean I don't know why the Europeans missed two huge continents, but not only is there tons of evidence that either several African kingdoms (including but not limited to ancient Egypt) had trade either directly or indirectly with the Inca empire, but there's some evidence of Chinese ships off the eastern coast of North America from hundreds or possibly thousands of years in the past.
@@cam4636 Ancient Egypt can't have encountered the Inca as the Inca didn't become an Empire until the 13th century AD. Did you mix them up with another culture?
@@the_corvid97 Probably mixed up Inca with an older culture. The ancient Egyptians had access to goods from South America.
@@cam4636 American Natives hail from Asia, so some Asians obviously found the Americas by following the frozen lands of the North, however, the Chinese specifically crossing the entire Pacific with nothing to aim for, reach the Americas, then return to tell the Tale is kind of a stretch. More likely some boats drifted there with the crew long gone on arrival.
As for Africa, many Cultures on the westcoast were close enough to the Tradewinds to make it possible, but again, there is nothing to aim for. There was no reason to venture out that far to certain death, then randomly finding land and, being sad that they survived, traveling back home to tell others. Some Olmecan statues that maybe kinda sorta look like Africans is rather thin proof.
And if anyone found the Americas they should have told someone about it. In the End, that is the reason Kolumbus is consider to have "found" them: He told others and they travelled there themselves.
Life is pain, but the Fifth Sorceress is even more of a pain
Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. 😊
Krimson Rogues response to the “not a part of the target audience” argument was to hold out Green Eggs and Ham and say “whoops! This wasn’t written for me, looks like I can’t have an opinion on it!”
Bit exaggerative but it gets the point across.
So, Tristan post mortem emergency C-sectioned his sister out of desperate hope to try and save her unborn child? Right? It was slightly touching when he realised there was nothing to be done and buried it with its mother? Right? All this didn't happen out of the blue with no apparent character motivation just to make the resurrection scene not weird and super gross? PLEASE??
im so sorry
Uh, this is only marginally better, but he emergency c-sectioned the lead sorceress (Succu?), not his sister, I think his sister just stopped being evil or something after the other sorceresses died.
I understand your desperation, but to quote a once-good villain:
“If you think this has a good ending, you haven’t been paying attention”
It wasn’t his sister so I’d say that part isn’t strange, though cutting the clearly dead (she jumped from a tower) baby out for it’s own burial instead of just burying them together was a little weird to me.
I can *not* with someone who thinks they invented Ranged Combat.
1:16:20 I'm listening to this while I'm playing the Splatfest on Splatoon 3 and that whole thing caught me so off guard that I ended up getting splatted.
Hahaha!!
Seriously what?
@2:07 What... Sequels? Why? Why are there sequels? What crack did the author snort to make him think he should write not just a sequel, but *sequels*?
I think my ears have heard rubbish in word form.
@@joshuasweetman4903 From my comment?
@@gasmonkey1000 what your comment implies not the comment itself
@@joshuasweetman4903 oh right sorry
Bc it's his kink. Loosely stitching various porn scenarios together with a rickety, threadbare plot, and being burned by the reviews. I would almost bet money that there's a very special lady he pays to read those reviews to him with maximum contempt.
I experienced the Fifth Sorceress in the form of an audiobook. In the audiobook, Succiu was pronounced like "sue-shoe".
The other thing is: having a character named Tristan and a character named Wiig just unintentionally makes me think of the actress Kristen Wiig, it turns out saying those back to back sounds too similar
I think I figured out how the worldbuilding of this book works
when men do (thing) = good
when women do (same thing) = evil
I’m seeing a few similarities to Wheel of Time here. I’m appreciating Jordan’s writing a lot more seeing how bad it could possibly be.
An hour and 30 min - "part 1". Oh boy, here we go
This story had so much potential! A magic system based on morality? A monarchy that is actually ruled by a shadow court of immortal mages? A prince who does not want the throne? A sex based magic system where the men are seen as good and the women seen as evil?
He could have easily written the sorceresses as procieved evil in a male-dominated society. Maybe the "great war" was actually them fighting for their rights, which is why the male wizards couldn't just kill them Tristan realizes that as king, he'd just be a pawn to to the mages, so he rebells against them, and Natasha uses this to get him on her side in fighting for the sorceresses' rights.
You spoil us with that video length!
15 days sounds like a Texas unit of measurement since we talk about traveling a distance by time. Such as Houston is 2 hours away from me, no idea of the miles. Though we also have things like speed limits so ours is much more accurate than the 15 days measurement.
You know it's bad when he breaks out the German for the thumbnail.
22:27 "He invented throwing knives" Spears were invented before knives. (I Googled "first weapon")
A spear is a Knife on a stick .🤣
I'm willing to bet that the first things that were ever used as weapons were stones, either for hitting with or throwing
TBH, the main character being immature could be handwaved with the fact that he's a spoiled aristocrat, and also his dad, and possible further ancestors, are immortal so will hang around him for a long while, possibly to the point of being overprotective. It could also be that in this world every royal is not seen as a "true" adult until they get immortalized.
Weather or not it's addressed like that in the book, or did the author even planned it like that, I do not know. Likely not, but you know, still an interesting tidbit in my opinion.
I love how you translate german into english 1-1 it always makes me laugh. Cheers friend
they ruin my chance to say magic is store in the balls by making witches.
37:42 "the wizard said calmly"
if Tristan's childishness is doing the opposite, I've seen it done well.
namely in Dragon Builders where the hero of DQ1 gave the sword to the Dragonlord in the backstory because he never had a real choice in anything until that moment. up until then he was effectively being dragged along by the plot. this was done to mirror the player character in Builders whose decision to do the opposite what they're told was going to fight someone they were told time and again they coulld not match
James: we meet the leader of the minions...
Me: bob?
This is gonna sound like a weird recommendation, but I’d actually love to see you review the wizard of Oz series. Even though they are childrens books, they are a lot different from modern children books and I definitely think are enjoyable today. There are like 20 books by Baum but none are too long, and I think they are great fantasy books
The mention of this author never reading epic fantasy before had me say out loud, "Oh geez why?!" That's got some real Onision energy to it.
Ngl “Ayn Rand Al’Thor” caught me off guard and I had to pause and collect myself for a minute
I think the Wizard no kill law is interesting, it is almost a mirror to modern morality. No killing unless for self protection or fair warning is necessary like a no trespassing sign, but every aspect of it is poorly executed. I think it could have been interesting.
Like the SpongeBob anime shirt
Also, didn't expect the game grumps clip at 27:30
And the little "off" added to the name succiu is a nice touch
Couldn't the sorceress be executed by a non-magic user, and if the weird protection expands to this still then it would be worth the cost of a wizard per sorceress trade off to ensure no more genocide
Since Amazon recently premiered "The Rings Of Power", have you ever considered reading and reviewing _The Silmarillion_ and the _History of Middle-Earth_ books?
I still can't get over the "they tuk our jerbs!"part . Best sence in the show so far
@@yuvalgabay1023 "There is a temp job in me!"
@@yuvalgabay1023 That awkward moment where the union guys harassing/beating up Halbrand were doing the right thing for the wrong reasons
This book is like an episode of "terrible writing advice" without the irony. Pure cringe
Oh shit this is only the first part? I can't wait for the rest!
Why do I laugh like a fucking idiot every single time he says "Suckyou... off"? I'm so damn stupid
The Fifth Sorceress is pain. It is bread.
Disgusting, stale, and moldy bread.
Sword of Truth is always going to hold a special place in my heart, as the first fantasy series I ever picked up, and thus, the fantasy series that taught me so, so many common fantasy tropes.
They way I laughed EVERY time you added, "off".
24:24 as someone who’s trained multiple horses and worked at a barn while growing up , horses behave exactly like giant dogs. They’re absolutely absurd creatures with toothpicks for legs and I wouldn’t be surprised by one playing fetch or something similar, especially a younger one.
The Paragon is literally just the Amulet of Kings from tes...
Hell yeah! This video is something I didn't even know I've been waiting for for years.
Oh man, off Tristan invented the practive of throwing knives? But-- that's not how things work... Such an odd choice.
Some mystery person just tried to kill the Prince on the eve of his become King? Who could it be dun dun dun-- Oh wait it was his horse nevermind! Just makes me think Robert Nwcomb is sitting there giggling, I'm so random! I tricked all my readers there!
Darn I've been watching too much House of the Dragon! When the prose was talking about all his romantic trists and then mentions his twin sister, 0_0 oh no, but then I was like oh okay that's just an fortunate spot to introduce her existance. Whew.
Tristan bathes in the pool of the paragon and it actives his powers and horrifies his wizard advisor-- but it doesn't matter apparently. Wha-- why?
Lolol I hear you James, quietly adding an addition to Succieu's name.
I like that Geldin becomes more of a full character sympathetic motivations. His sort of character and situation would make an interesting protagonist.
This!? This is your amazing villain plan!? Such face-palming to be had!
Thank-you for covering this in depth James I've been curious, but knew I didn't want to read it. ^_^;;
Hayley ^_^
If that novel gets a TV adaptation, it will make The Rings of Power look like a masterpiece! 🤣🤣🤣
I'll also want to remove my eyes, so I dont ever need to see it. This book? This series? Doesnt deserve screen time. Spare the poor actors
I know it and i’m sooo sorry for you friend.
I appreciate the german sentences in the thumbnail so much ^^
I just love the idea of any old fantasy story with the minor addition that all the women the protagonist meets are increasingly more beautiful fsr
Love the Suponjibobu shirt bro. Love this animation series.
"It said venomously" lol.
I had a copy of that book once. I say "had" because I was so enraged by just how fucking terrible it was that I put on angry metal music, fed it through the shredding machine and recycled it as nesting material for my pet rats.
been waiting a long time for this video
The whole thing about "Women's magic is evil" feels like something the main character's wise old mentor says as foreshadowing that said wise old mentor is the true villain of the movie, Stinky-Pete style
This book give me hope one day my shitty story might get published one day.
What is it about?
Thanks for your sacrifice sir
Welcome back my dude. I can't wait for you to tear into Mercedes Lackey books. That woman CANNOT write.
Succiu as in Succubus?
Wow, real subtle 🙄.
James Tullos is back. Woop woop !