15+ years of damn near celibacy and I've given up on trying. I'm not chasing after a woman who doesn't want me. I quit initiating entirely several years ago and never will again. I'm not playing an unwinnable game. At this point I no longer care because any passion or desire I used to have for her has been beaten to death by her consistent repeated rejections over the first decade of our marriage.
@@FreeDumb-z1j because I don't want to be homeless. The divorce laws here are extremely biased and the alimony requirements wouldn't leave me with enough to live on. I don't make enough to support two households but the courts don't care.
Sorry bro... You're only married on paper... Realize she's just your roommate now and try hard to get over her and move on... The depression will shorten both of your lives
You are poisoning your body with cortisol, and heading to an early grave. Fear of being alone is keeping you trapped in a jail cell with no lock on the door other than your abused, embarrassed heart. The life and love you want and deserve is out there, if you can over come the fear. Don't hide behind the kids excuse. GTFO
@@HighThriveCoaching it don't swing 50-50 G, most guys have higher sex drives compliments of higher testosterone, women's attraction is less stable than men's statistically so really the guy has to have multiple girls or he's gotta find a chick with a nearly identical segs drive, or he'll end up a strung out corn addict.. real talk
My partner of ten years never initiates. We haven‘t been intimate for years, and he only did it a few times since we were trying for a baby. The longest without any intimacy has been 8 months, now we had towards another 6 month mark. I was suffering a lot but now I have come to the decision to go celibate. I feel much better, I don‘t have to be the one who keeps trying to change things, communicating about this never resulted into any efforts from his part. I feel liberated and honestly much happier now. So yeah not all women doesn‘t want to be intimate and are checked out.
I feel daily for the last 7 years but it’s always her that’s checked out I begged for 6 of the 7 years then a started cheating and don’t care what she feels anymore once the kids grown I’m out anyway I’ll never forgive her
Yup, 100%! It's sad to see most men out there in the same situation I'm in. Trying to figure this marital relationship out after 23 years. It's depressing
@@danielwilliamson45why are you even with her? You haven’t married her yet? Ask yourself why? Don’t cheat… talk to her… she either steps up AND you step up or step out. Meaning leave already or get married and she starts showing up too. If ya know what I mean.
@@imaamericangirl1406 we have 2 kids togather. I shouldn't have to leave my kids and my house that i love and pay for, because my partner is lacking in one area.
As a man you work hard all day want to relax and what does she do ? If you don't give him a reason or support to be more interactive . Instead of being dismissive. Can't tell you how many times my wife says . You play games than talk to me . OK so I need to unwind let's go have fun together? Get the stress out . We'll I'm to tired or blah . She says so . But I'm working 12hr days while she barely works 8 . And I cook ,clean .
While I do agree with some of these ideas, I think that women should try to consider the idea that a lot of what they are asking for isn’t necessarily a common communication strategy which is owned by most men. These are feminine traits that a lot of us struggle to enact in our relationships. Even when we try our hardest, we often fail, it’s not a natural ability.
Women want a girlfriend in a husband - once they get that - they aren't attracted to him any longer. Then it's a battle for your marriage, his soul and your sex life - every day, that game is played and it is ALWAYS the man's fault, whether it is in reality or not.
There are a couple comments about "Ace" folks below. Would it be such a bother to at least help the other spouse out now and then. Doesn't have to be full on sex, just touch of any kind is nice.
Believe me, if you are hetero, you don't want to be in a sexual relationship with an Asexual, you're better off being single than with an Ace as a marriage partner
Maybe the reason he is checked out is that after more than a decade of never being kissed, held or made love to - he has given up and realizes she simply doesn't desire anything from him except security and to be a walking ATM.
I love how it's always the guy's fault. Maybe he's "checked out" because what's the point of listening to your woman bitch about her day for an hour straight every single day, putting in the effort to listen, assure, help, etc. when at the end of the day anything about you as a man that would make you happy and would make you feel loved is shot in the ass? Maybe it's because he's been there, done that, and got the t-shirt and doesn't see the point. But now that the woman has an excuse outside of "sorry honey I have my 9th headache of the week, maybe tomorrow" she wants to sit and act like it's him. It's not. Guys stop trying when they stop getting the reward for their efforts.
I waited until 32 to get married and my husband is withdrawn. He is older and is not intimate emotional or physically. It is horrible. He is no fun, boring we dont spend time together. I need a connection. I feel alone.
Woman are so entitled anymore. Doesn’t matter what we do anymore it’s never enough. I work 74 hours a week. Come home try to take the kids so she gets a break. I cook clean make sure kids get a bath and teeth brushed. I try to plan date nights when we are kid free. I try planning other events for us as a family. But yet I keep getting told I just don’t have the drive it’s cause my meds yada yada. She just started the meds few months ago so I call bs. But yet us men always get you just don’t listen to me you don’t help with this or that! It’s always something!
You sound like a decent man that cares. My situation is reversed, I’m the woman and my husband has decided for us (at 38) that we no longer need sex. I feel like I’m going crazy. I never imagined what this does to one’s self worth, and the depression that comes with it. I’ve asked him what more can I do and it’s always met with I do plenty. I don’t know how much longer I can keep pouring from a cup that has been bone dry for a long time now.
It foes both ways, and that was just an example. In my case my husband is a witholder, and he is the one, who says to me, 'You just always thinking about sex!' I am starving!!!
Makes me so sad. My husband never initiates sex. The only time we have sex are when I seduce him. It makes me feel so ugly & disgusting. I am 5'6 & weigh 135, workout often, & take care of myself. There is no emotional connection because he's so closed off & now we never have sex. 😞
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So just using your example. Who's not being heard? I'm quite sure that husband has said something about the lack of sex. I bet it turned on him and he's the problem. YET, the woman is completely oblivious to why that phone has his attention. 🤔
It goes both ways but does it. Here's how it goes. There's a problem......most likely only one side gets heard(women's) or deserves attention and only one side needs to put in work to fix it(men). If you do this, or more of that and some of this then maybe I can do what you ask
@@HighThriveCoaching I got divorced and have been enjoying life with a wide range of women over the past 20 years. Marriage, like its ugly stepsister divorce, is for women.
My husband is the one that doesn't want it. Meanwhile, he falls for every woman put there, and he loses his mind over giant breast. We have no kids and have been together over 25 years now and I still love him but don't feel as if he loves me. I can't bring it up because then he gets angry and then calls me an addict. I can count the number of times per year 😢 I desire it but he prefers his hand. I know he just wants another woman and is tired of me. I'm so depressed and gave up having kids to stay with him. 💔 I feel so alone and I feel like the same thing would happen if I got into a new relationship. I guess some people get tired of their partners. 😢He says he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful, yet he won't be intimate with me. He is brutally honest and even told me he was aroused by a random woman at the store and asked me to hide his erection. 😢 He is so nice to everyone else and takes out his anger and unhappiness on me, and then people tell me how lucky I am to have such a good man. He even says he is perfect cause he hasn't cheated on me yet.
He doesn't want you as a woman. He wants you as a friend. It has nothing to do with busty women....he no longer wants you sexually. You literally have a BEST FRIEND not a man who wants you romantically. It's time to end this relationship
This is my lofe but my wife wanted kids I didn't. I had them with her and she has che ked out now like she got what she wanted so now I'm not an option just a statue now. I don't wanna cheat but it's definitely getting close because even when I raise it she get annoyed or passed off.
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@@blackeverything1118 Good for you on losing the weight once! There’s always a way back to losing the weight again if you want to. The option is always there if you want it. Don’t give up!
Or some people just dont have high sex drives?? Or maybe theyve had a long day and just arent feeling it. Have some proper communication if its become that big of an issue. Find a balance with your partner.. Get yourself something from Adam and Eve and get over it.
Masturbation is NOT a replacement for sex within marriage. Get over it. Yes, people do get tired and go through times they just don't feel like it - but when that extends to years and decades - it's simply dysfunctional.
@@lukaskuipers7791 And this is why men don't express themselves you couldn't signify at least from the capiral letters I opened up and shared my pain and this is the response punctuation please
@@Firebourn94 I'm sure you expected me to fix your marriage as a youtube commenter so apologies for not living up to the hype If you need someone to talk to about this stuff go talk to your friends or a marriage councellor or something. I wasn't even rude to you yet here you are acting like a kid.
They expect you to believe that men and women are equal and the same. We are not the same sexually. Women want sex, but their desire for it is cyclical. They don’t have 20x the amount of testosterone coursing through their veins and bathing their brains 24/7. If they did, prostitution would be a federally funded entitlement for women. Besides if women wanted sex even half as much as men do, humans would have overpopulated and starved to death millennia ago. It’s ok that women don’t want sex as frequently as men do. It’s a feature not a defect or bug. But we have so many women trying to blow sunshine up men’s asses. When in truth wives not bedding their husbands IS the message. A woman not prioritizing sexual intimacy with her husband IS telling him exactly how she views him, which is pretty much the same as another girlfriend. But if we don’t frame this as 50% wives rejecting husbands AND 50% husbands rejecting wives, well that is not femcorrect, and they are gonna *feel* sad about it and about you, and even mad that you’re not being nice and cooperative with their wholesale denial. Also, remember theirs is the correct perspective. Husbands have to negotiate and haggle sexual desire with their wives. Never mind the rosters of men who came before him (literally), with no conditions from her whatsoever, nothing was vetoed including anal. They don’t want to talk about that because she’s married now, and done with the fun and games. It’s time to be serious and for him to be patient, and not demanding or controlling. And he better shape up or else, mister 😂
Exactly. Modern women get ran through in their 20s, get all the dicks they can and retire from it all after amassing mad amount of baggage and finding a nice guy to dump it all onto
Always “an example” a woman’s best answer. Meanwhile, marriages continue to go through divorce and men continue to pursue happiness in other areas. Soon, there will be a shortage of Masculinity and an then, maybe just turn, woman will understand a little. Meanwhile, lets keep blaming it on the man.
I for one don’t want to share my body with someone who doesn’t speak kindly to me or support me when I’m struggling. Relationships are equally as emotional as they are sexual, if you can’t provide half the equation, then why should someone continually meet your needs while theirs go unmet.
Allways the mans fault. Explain this to me when you're dating you go at it like rabbits then when the women gets the ring on and then the excess began. Strange there were no excuses when you were in the early dating bit
@HighThriveCoaching I don't get what you mean. In my experience and in a lot of friends I know end up in divorce because of this reason is allways down to the woman rejecting the man
@@seanmann7278it goes bith ways. You see, here are in a comment section more and more woman (so as me) express that they are in a sexless marriage/relationship. It is not genderissue.
I was in a sexless marriage at the end , and, let me tell you... it was like a slow agonizing psychological death, ended up sleeping in the living room for years before I finally left. Sex had gone down to , maybe once every 4-6 months. My ex kept making excuses, she's tired, or ..im rushing her, or ...she's not wet, so she's turned off!. or.. im tired of the same positions! I would've offed myself for real if i hadn't turn to porn, but that just made things even worse. My advice?.. definitely don't get married, most will regret it
In the same situations as you guys are in. Haven't had sex in over a year, I'm only 27 and we have a daughter together. But we are not married just engaged and I don't think we are going to get married I told her and anyone that asks when I'm going to marry her that I'm not unless something changes because husband and wife have sex with each other that is what they do in a healthy relationship, why would I marrry her if I'm not even having sex with her. She claims she doesn't know what it is she just doesn't have the drive/desire for sex anymore. So I told her to talk to her doctor and ask some questions because it is either something hormonal or she just isn't sexually attracted to me anymore and if that's the case then I might as well find someone else that is🤷🏻
Marriage is guaranteed destruction for men. Especially with modern women who want all the traditional values in a man but offer nothing traditional (or anything else) in return
I am in a sexless marriage. The last time I had sex with my wife was 39 years ago. She had a tumor down there and when they got done removing everything, she has no desire for sex. This coming spring we will have been married for 50 years. For better or for worst, in sickness and in health.
No wonder my husband spoke so well about me. My husband died of covid 19 in 2020. We were together almost 18 years. Our sex life was amazing. We made love almost everyday. No matter what we were having it, unless i was on my cycle or when i had our four kids. We women need to first choose our men with our heart and brain from the beginning. Then keep our sex lives alive and burning. I'm 45 single since my husband died three years now aomost four years ago. We have four kids, we all needed time to grief. When i date again, lucky enough to find someone again, will take bio identical hormones or whatever i need in order to perform in the bedroom. To me keep the passion alive is super important. One of the main things that kept our marriage so excellent. Ladies go to the doctor, therapy etc Men need and express their love, making love.❤
24 years relationship 12 years dead first stent and going on 2 years now I’m been don but I can’t afford child support so I have 4 more years to go 🤷♂️
My bf never initiates sex with me. He has ED, but it took months for him to acknowledge it. I didn’t understand what was going on and apparently he’s had it for years. I asked him to go see a urologist, I said we can do this and find the solution. He keeps postponing and today when I said that my body feels like a dried out desert he said: “well what’s wrong with that? That’s okay.” Like are you kidding me?? I told him : I am not going to be in a sexless relationship. Please go to the urologist, I love you but don’t make this a non-priority, because it is a priority to me, I want to be intimate with you. Do you want to be intimate with me?” . He said yes. And he said he will go. Let’s see how this goes.
@@longjiewang9818 thank you. He has Cialis now I believe, and what a relief! He got it for the GP. He has low testosterone, so he will be seeing a urologist. I’m happy with the progress. I’m just sad that it took our relationship falling apart before my bf would take action. I’m chronically ill and it has been very stressful for 7 months because he just wouldn’t go. My health took a beating because of all the stress and drama. I also think it’s weird that some men seem to think it’s acceptable to just quietly ignore intimate problems and deprive their partners from any sexual intimacy because they don’t “feel like seeing a doctor”. Women have needs too and I was shocked at how unimportant my bf thought my needs were.
@@dorinevanoomstrong7313 I'm glad to hear that your bf has finally taken actions. Nowadays according to the statistics ED is a common condition that affects 50% of adult men in the UK to various extent. So no need to feel ashamed or less masculine. I think one of the reasons some men appear to think "it's unimportant for their partners" is that they may be feeling too embarrassed to face this problem and that their ego is affected by this, so they tend to avoid or evade from this issue. But it would be a shame if left untreated as it's very treatable thanks to medical development over the past decades. Just a tip, in case you and your bf are not unaware, your bf could buy the generic ED medicines, such as Sidenafil, Tadanafil and Avanafil, which is roughly 50% cheaper than its name brand Viagra, Cialis and Spedra. In addition to medications that can usually effectively treat the condition but not cure, it's also important to find out the root cause and treat relevant health conditions.
It's usually the woman who's fed up or doesn't initiate anymore sure. But have the men try to spice things up? Take the woman out on a nice dinner date? A getaway maybe? Heck, try just buying her a Sona or something similar.. that would definitely make her motors running again, guaranteed.
It is fine, if both doesn't want it. But this video is about couples, where one wants, and the other witholds after some times. Like my husband was into this before marriage, and after was like 'I can only do it once a month or less'.
@@yannick6607Because it does go both ways. It’s not deflecting if it’s true. Men are not the only ones who go through this and if you thought that then you are terrible misinformed.
@@unknownperson4275this really does come off the same as when women talk about how they’ve been sexually assaulted and some guy is like “well it happens to guys too!” Yeah but it’s mostly women. And in this case it’s 90 percent of the time men who go through this.
@@LoathsomeLucifer Those are two totally different subjects. Being sexually assaulted is traumatizing. Someone refusing to have sex with you is not. You can simply find someone else. Regardless if you claim women do it more, men do this as well. Btw no one is obligated to have sex with you. Stfu and get over it. There are plenty fish in the sea smh.
It stopped because she never really seemed interested and I got tired of pushing it to happen. Probably only get it another 10 time before I kick, so who cares.
on ex partner getting home i allowed for 2 or 3 hours where i was there to be talked to, either facebook was flicked through then the neighbour was visited, or some other stuff went on, so i went to gaming, where i was seen as the person who was ignoring everything .....
He’s on his phone because it doesn’t nag him, it doesn’t insist he listen to her gossip or whining, and it doesn’t criticize. It offends her, not because he’s reading something of interest, but because it has his attention. She’s jealous of his supposed relationship with an electronic device. He, on the other hand, misses the relationship he used to have with her, before things went cold.
That is the woman’s take on a healthy relationship. A man’s take on a healthy relationship doesn’t put six first. It puts everything else in the relationship first.
I am an old man, I can say from my experience, and I have personally seen this to be the only truth. A woman who has sand where water once flowed, can only be made moist again, once she has the cash and prizes from the sucker she divorces
@@daisyx1002 I can only speak from a lifetime of experience, and the experiences of my family and friends. It’s true, some woman do desire their husbands, for a short time, then it becomes duty, then nothing. Love is a feeling, feelings fade, women leave. It’s just life.
@@HighThriveCoachingstatistically women are leaving marriages at a rate of 80%…90% if college educated. So I beg to differ. It doesn’t really go both ways. It’s pretty one sided statistically.
It’s the women who check out, first. I am not happy, I have food, a car, insurance, I need my mother to move in with the 4 kids and take all of my time once you return from working 50 hours a week. Note, she cooks 4 times a month.
I cook, clean, supported him but found out he is into prostitutes. I have babies so I won’t leave. Maybe I’m too comfortable by now or maybe I just stopped loving him as well . I miss being loved by a man😢
The overwothdrawing of accounts happens in college with all those escapades from strangers. Then the husband pays for 10x more than what others withdrew for free.
This may sound stupid, but I think sex is often given up in exchange for peace. I keep thinking back to the quote that young men chase pussy, older men chase peace.
A sex less life is super powerful and monks live their life without even thinking about sex all their lives and they are the best people in this planet i know lot of monks in real life I am extreme mgtow no sex for life no talking to women and not helping women even in survival situation.
Take away the material things and the kids and all you have is each other. You should want to spend time together and sex is the most free and intimate thing you can share. If you are not interested that is a big problem and it’s going to break especially for younger people. Women who say they are tired and not interested all of a sudden get interested when they are divorced. Single guys are banging them all the time but don’t want to marry them. It your guy is decent you better hang on to them. If women want to stay married they need to be a loving partner and not become a kid or sister. He already has kids and sisters. I divorced my 1st wife as I got sick and tired of her being a child and not a wife. I fooled around a bit but then met a real winner and we are are going on 12 years now.
A sexless marriage is damaging only if we still expect sex or intimacy from the spouse. Now that we know it is no longer available and spouse does not care, time to be selfish, catch other fish and dont give a fish.
OK never been married but the majority of gf’s I’ve had check out after 6-9 months; a few even got psycho on me! Imagine if I’d married one of them! At some point you either think all women are bitches or that I am somehow to blame. After hearing the same old reply, “Is sex all you think about,” I did some research on the causes of female withdrawal. I found that perhaps it was my fault as I failed to ever do 4 of the 5 things that can be done to rekindle a sex-free marriage: tell her you love her often, tell her she’s still beautiful often, touch her outside of the bedroom (kissing included), avoid getting into a routine. Although I remained attentive to her, I never noticed I was neglecting HER needs. Yeah I work a lot (55-60 hours/week) but I could break the routine if I really wanted to. Well now that I know better I sure wish I could meet somebody; I’ve been alone for a decade now!
I love that you are now aware of how you could be a better boyfriend for them…. But maybe they didn’t want to be just a place to put it. They wanted a marriage: a friend , a partner and a lover that shared more than sex. Sex is great, work is great, but what about the other hours of the day? God is good, he I am sure would love to give you a wonderful wife, but maybe you need to learn even more how to be a wonderful husband. Blessings my internet friend. I wish you well.
@@imaamericangirl1406 you are kind but you do not understand. I’m not talking about sex all the time. I’m talking about not even getting any at all for months at a time. That is ridiculous and any female who doesn’t understand that should get a dog instead of a man. And sure there was a gal I stuck with off and on for 3 years. Being a single mother in a big city, the doctor prescribed pills which basically kept her high. These caused wild mood swings and I put up with it because I cared about her; I even did nice things for her kids. Then her daughter got pregnant, dropped out of HS, and moved in with her 22 yr old bf. When my girl went to see her grandchild, her daughter told her no druggies could touch her child. So she checked into a rehab and got off everything. The woman that emerged was a saint and I was absolutely smitten; I would have gladly married her! But she said no, mainly because I reminded her of her old life. I was crushed but eventually I got over it. Then I went 6 years before I found another girl. I broke up with her because she was stupid. Sure she was nice and liked making love but I NEED someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation!
Yup that’s me this my hubbys account I couldn’t get into my TH-cam for some reason I’m emotionally withdrawn at this point, I have told him before and at this point I don’t want to work on it anymore it’s whatever at this point just waiting on the right time to leave or not if it gets worse
Message to all men, if you don’t do it someone else is. If you’re wife leaves you starving in the dessert like that. Just divorce. The next tip is when you divorce you should go through with it! The only way the woman infront of you will know your worth. Is when you benefit another persons benefit, and they’ll try EVERYTHING to get your back. And as soon as your „stuck“ again, the whole game starts from the beginning. I can promise you if it’s you don’t earn enough for us the first time it’s „you don’t prioritize me“ the second time. You can’t win! Women punish men for being in a boring relationship. It’s better for a man to be wild than stable!
@highthrivecoach you're a bit of a hypocrite. Why is it that you reply with this generic " it's just an example , it goes both ways" to defend women, but then you ask the men " what have you tried to improve the situation " ?. So its mens' fault if their spouses don't want to be intimate ?
It sad for me as a man because my wife understands that I am only a shell of what it could be to her but because she won't make any attempts and says nothing but no she gets exactly what she puts in in that sad and very hurtful and I'm at the end of my rope I feel like there's no hope for this and a question if emotionally she really loves me or not there's no question that I love her but I feel utterly worthless to her nothing but a tenant roommate situation and I cry all the time while she is asleep
This is me with my husband. It's a cold lonely marriage, cry whilst he's sleeping and think to our vows and weigh up whether it's worth staying or leaving
F her..its time to leave her and find a new wife. When she signed up for marriage, she understood her responsibility to have sex and please her husband and keep him satisfied.
Men’s strength is not being emotionally supportive of women. Men’s strength is to be logical and be a provider of protection and reasonable encouragement of others to meet their highest potential. Women who whine and say he needs to be more emotional and listen to my problems are on woodenly asking to be married to men who are emotionally castrated. These women need to stop expecting men to abandon their masculinity and turn into their girlfriends. Ladies if you need to talk call one of your girlfriends. Men do not want to talk about problems endlessly. They are not drama queens. If you end up with a man who actually conforms to these pressures and becomes your place to dump all your emotional issues in essence your therapist then you’ll eventually despise him and disrespecting because he will have to lose his masculine energy to do so
Fk this masculine energy nonsense. Men after 40 years old need viagra. 50 percent need viagra. Of a man is not their for me emotionally then a divorce should take place. Simple. 70% of divorce is done by women.
Such an ignorant comment encouraging dysfunction in men. And based on your reasoning Jesus must not be the man then and definitely not the role model for men because he cared about women's pains, tears and comforted them, he listens and comforts all of us and wants men to love like he does. So who should we listen to in regards to how men should behave, you or Jesus? Also marriage isn't all about what men want, men have to ensure they meet their wives' needs, love them like their own bodies, and women should do the same. It's selfishness to say it's not men's strength to be emotionally supportive of women therefore let's dismiss it because who cares what women need ? What do you think would happen if men were told the same things about their needs in marriage? You seem to have a man centered view of marriage that is getting men divorced, and rightfully so. And furthermore, your girlfriends probably need to tell married women like you who bring them their marital problems that they don't want to hear them. It's not their fault if you didn't marry a decent person who doesn't think it's not too much to ask to just listen to the person who has been with him through thick and thin
@@theironson1043 Based on ignorance. Men should be compassionate and caring towards their wives' suffering , that's what men do. And i doubt you are more masculine than Jesus who acted this way towards women and asked men to love women just like he loves
So…being intentional and initiating sex would do wonders for making emotional deposits in the relationship “bank account “. Sometimes you have to act because the relationship needs it, regardless if you or the other are “ in the mood”. Of course it needs to be consensual.
@@HighThriveCoaching leaving..have tried listening, holding, non sexual intimacy of all kinds. Help with everything show her appreciation and literally
When my wife and I got together (3yrs ago) she already had a 15yr old and a 9 yr old... not quite 3 yrs later we got a 17yr old, a 11 yr old, a 2yr old, a 3 month old... so in thr last 2 yrs I'm batting 1000% so we are afraid to kiss at the moment... lol
we are in a sexless marriage but it doesn’t mean i dont love him or he doesnt love me we are approaching our aging/companionship/best-friend era i still hug kiss him and pray with him but we dont feel the urge to do it but we enjoy movies, trips and just being together. glad we enjoy sex on our younger years tho, marriage is a partnership everything that you use to do change but what ever it is do it together until the end..
Clearly you don't know how men function but it's only about how you feel right? Genuinely pop the question to him if he wants it do a little prying and he will light up like a puppy,
@@risevision1080 lol sex purpose is not relieving your self of lust the main purpose of sex is reproduction if couple do it without intention of having kids they might do it with multiple partners..we are working from home and always together we are contented with it and spend lots of time traveling out of town with our children and spend most of our free time talking and beer and watching anime it depends on the couple but we are blessed to stay together for 16 yrs and still joyful…its all about finding peace with one another
@@risevision1080 sex vs intimacy.. some people having sex but fight a lot because they’re relationship is pure sexual. being intimate with your partner is having a very close relationship with her attending to her needs help her,supporting her loving her with all you have and accepting her flaws and vice versa the key is to find the perfect person who fit into your life and will give you peace and security.
@@spontaneouscat6791 Look how you say "supporting her" where's his mental and emotional support? You're really blinding yourself! All sexless marriages are detrimental too men! Men are very good at hiding emotions everyone knows that! He's doing it because he loves you but I bet you anything he's miserable and slowly deteriorating on the Inside, look it up! You literally just said it "support her" completely ignoring his feelings and his support! Men have emotions to, it's not about the sexual part either, men overthink too! He's probably thinking he wasn't good enough or he couldn't turn you on and you lost interest in him sexually! Especially if he gained weight that's a sign of depression he let himself go! Men are like dogs men are loyal until the end and will give everything to satisfy you! Look at any sexless marriage and it's all initiated by women and look at how chronically depressed men become without physical affection! Men are simple creatures nowhere near as emotionally intelligent or complex as women, but you just proved it's all about how women feel then the "relationships where you support her" then talk about it being peaceful and prosperity? It's all about women and women wonder why men are walking away from marriage, you all lack empathy and only care that you're benefitted from the relationship, men sacrifice mental health and security to make sure you're happy. I guarantee you if you ask him for the deed he will light up like a puppy, you know it and I know it. Men are simple creatures
She said, she wants to “connect” with me, and I always trying to be open and talk, but after a gallbladder surgery and a tooth implant …. I don’t see any “activity” in the next year. She didn’t have any interest to flirt, or any interest on even have a physical touch (Hugh’s, kisses, etc, etc ) ….CERO!!!! I’m very desperate… I’m in a sexless relationship the last 5 years and now I feel like a roommate or a “friend zone husband”. HELP!
Sounds familiar because you first forget Ace people exist and will likely not wish to have sex. That "not being heard" issue is due to poor communication. And things need to be talked out politely to another. Not because they are not having enough sex. Sex is just *one part* of marriages. And there's also Aromantics that have sex with thier partners. But aren't married. Etc.
Ace people should not trap heterosexual people into long term relationships without consent. Getting married and then deciding you are asexual is cruel and selfish. Just like someone who is gets married, has kids and then says - you now must be celibate because I have decided I am gay. Doesn't work that way.
Asking for a friend: My friend wants to heal her marriage but has a lot of trauma that prevents her from opening up to her husband the way she wants to. For example, her husband violently beat her for three years... One night after throwing glass bottles at her, slamming her into walls, pushing her down the stairs and throwing furniture down after her, he pulled out a gun on her and said he was going to kill her, so she hid from him until the next day. She stayed with him through all of this, because she loved him. The next time he started to beat her, she left, because she thought he might actually kill her. She hid at family's house and while he was drunk driving all over town trying to find her, he slid off the road, totalled her car, went to jail, and got an oui. The beatings stopped while he was on probation, but he since has started becoming more physically aggressive with her again. They have since had a son, and he has hurt the child on two occasions as well. The first time, he threw a toy at her from across the room and it instead hit their baby in the head, leaving a large red bump where the toy hit. The second time, she was nursing their toddler to sleep and he lunged across the bed at her, choked her snd held her down while yelling at her, while at the same time he was on top of their child who was now awake and screaming... How do you suggest she navigates this issue, when she wants to love him and be there for him and give him what he needs, but at the same time feels afraid of saying or doing anything around him because she might trigger a negative reaction?
I totally agree men need sex.. what i dont understand is why would my husband not understand that i need emotionally available man.. am okay with sex as long as its not just a physical act... He's never made me feel important in his life.. hes hurt me more and i always kept forgiving.. i tried for 6yrs and nothings ever changed.. i cry when am alone all the time.. never in this 6yrs of marriage has he ever supported me.. i have always felt alone. I have talked this and he says at 30 yrs u want romance??!? In order to have sex??? Am a human being and i married to have some companionship but reality is am so alone in this marriage. He may be in a sexless marriage, am guilty. But i have been in this lloveless marriage and its so painful. I would let him go if he want to... If he can have sex and b happy with someone else. I just dont want someone who is 50% there and no emotional availability.
15+ years of damn near celibacy and I've given up on trying. I'm not chasing after a woman who doesn't want me. I quit initiating entirely several years ago and never will again. I'm not playing an unwinnable game. At this point I no longer care because any passion or desire I used to have for her has been beaten to death by her consistent repeated rejections over the first decade of our marriage.
Sending you lots of love and light. Wishin you the very best.
Just leave her and find a sex partner 😂
@@FreeDumb-z1j because I don't want to be homeless. The divorce laws here are extremely biased and the alimony requirements wouldn't leave me with enough to live on. I don't make enough to support two households but the courts don't care.
Sorry bro... You're only married on paper... Realize she's just your roommate now and try hard to get over her and move on... The depression will shorten both of your lives
You are poisoning your body with cortisol, and heading to an early grave. Fear of being alone is keeping you trapped in a jail cell with no lock on the door other than your abused, embarrassed heart. The life and love you want and deserve is out there, if you can over come the fear. Don't hide behind the kids excuse. GTFO
99% of the time SHE is the one who has checked out
It is just an example. It goes both ways.
@@HighThriveCoachingstatistically speaking i have only one thing to say to your ignorance 🖕
@@HighThriveCoaching it don't swing 50-50 G, most guys have higher sex drives compliments of higher testosterone, women's attraction is less stable than men's statistically so really the guy has to have multiple girls or he's gotta find a chick with a nearly identical segs drive, or he'll end up a strung out corn addict.. real talk
@@HighThriveCoaching majority of the cases its women though, seems like you're deflecting
My partner of ten years never initiates. We haven‘t been intimate for years, and he only did it a few times since we were trying for a baby. The longest without any intimacy has been 8 months, now we had towards another 6 month mark. I was suffering a lot but now I have come to the decision to go celibate. I feel much better, I don‘t have to be the one who keeps trying to change things, communicating about this never resulted into any efforts from his part. I feel liberated and honestly much happier now.
So yeah not all women doesn‘t want to be intimate and are checked out.
I feel daily for the last 7 years but it’s always her that’s checked out I begged for 6 of the 7 years then a started cheating and don’t care what she feels anymore once the kids grown I’m out anyway I’ll never forgive her
Wishing you the very best!
Yup, 100%! It's sad to see most men out there in the same situation I'm in. Trying to figure this marital relationship out after 23 years. It's depressing
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Yeah, trying telling this to my wife. Just over a year. When we were it was MAYBE 3-4 times a year.
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@@danielwilliamson45why are you even with her? You haven’t married her yet? Ask yourself why? Don’t cheat… talk to her… she either steps up AND you step up or step out. Meaning leave already or get married and she starts showing up too. If ya know what I mean.
@@imaamericangirl1406 we have 2 kids togather. I shouldn't have to leave my kids and my house that i love and pay for, because my partner is lacking in one area.
Ur wasting ur life.
@@danielwilliamson45just find you a lover
As a man you work hard all day want to relax and what does she do ? If you don't give him a reason or support to be more interactive . Instead of being dismissive. Can't tell you how many times my wife says . You play games than talk to me . OK so I need to unwind let's go have fun together? Get the stress out . We'll I'm to tired or blah . She says so . But I'm working 12hr days while she barely works 8 . And I cook ,clean .
While I do agree with some of these ideas, I think that women should try to consider the idea that a lot of what they are asking for isn’t necessarily a common communication strategy which is owned by most men. These are feminine traits that a lot of us struggle to enact in our relationships. Even when we try our hardest, we often fail, it’s not a natural ability.
Women want a girlfriend in a husband - once they get that - they aren't attracted to him any longer. Then it's a battle for your marriage, his soul and your sex life - every day, that game is played and it is ALWAYS the man's fault, whether it is in reality or not.
There are a couple comments about "Ace" folks below. Would it be such a bother to at least help the other spouse out now and then. Doesn't have to be full on sex, just touch of any kind is nice.
What do you mean?
They can do it themselves if they ever asked me to do that I would immediately leave. I’m not even planning to date a sexual person, you’re weird af
Believe me, if you are hetero, you don't want to be in a sexual relationship with an Asexual, you're better off being single than with an Ace as a marriage partner
Maybe the reason he is checked out is that after more than a decade of never being kissed, held or made love to - he has given up and realizes she simply doesn't desire anything from him except security and to be a walking ATM.
I am doing this, what can I do to change this I feel no intamicy drive at all.
I love how it's always the guy's fault. Maybe he's "checked out" because what's the point of listening to your woman bitch about her day for an hour straight every single day, putting in the effort to listen, assure, help, etc. when at the end of the day anything about you as a man that would make you happy and would make you feel loved is shot in the ass? Maybe it's because he's been there, done that, and got the t-shirt and doesn't see the point. But now that the woman has an excuse outside of "sorry honey I have my 9th headache of the week, maybe tomorrow" she wants to sit and act like it's him. It's not. Guys stop trying when they stop getting the reward for their efforts.
The phone scenario...flip it around...reality
True
Is funny that she said our banks account first hahahahahahaah
I waited until 32 to get married and my husband is withdrawn. He is older and is not intimate emotional or physically. It is horrible. He is no fun, boring we dont spend time together. I need a connection. I feel alone.
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That is the story of many a man.
Woman are so entitled anymore. Doesn’t matter what we do anymore it’s never enough. I work 74 hours a week. Come home try to take the kids so she gets a break. I cook clean make sure kids get a bath and teeth brushed. I try to plan date nights when we are kid free. I try planning other events for us as a family. But yet I keep getting told I just don’t have the drive it’s cause my meds yada yada. She just started the meds few months ago so I call bs. But yet us men always get you just don’t listen to me you don’t help with this or that! It’s always something!
Hey there. We understand where you coming from. This video is just an example. It goes both ways.
You sound like a decent man that cares. My situation is reversed, I’m the woman and my husband has decided for us (at 38) that we no longer need sex. I feel like I’m going crazy. I never imagined what this does to one’s self worth, and the depression that comes with it. I’ve asked him what more can I do and it’s always met with I do plenty. I don’t know how much longer I can keep pouring from a cup that has been bone dry for a long time now.
It foes both ways, and that was just an example. In my case my husband is a witholder, and he is the one, who says to me, 'You just always thinking about sex!' I am starving!!!
My husband only wants to 1x a week ..sometimes 1x every 2 weeks. If I ask for it… Then I will get turned down… Every single time!!!
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Makes me so sad. My husband never initiates sex. The only time we have sex are when I seduce him. It makes me feel so ugly & disgusting. I am 5'6 & weigh 135, workout often, & take care of myself. There is no emotional connection because he's so closed off & now we never have sex. 😞
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Ok but how do I fix it
Send Heather a private message here - m.me/heather.choate.16 - so we can talk further about your situation. 🙂
So just using your example. Who's not being heard? I'm quite sure that husband has said something about the lack of sex. I bet it turned on him and he's the problem. YET, the woman is completely oblivious to why that phone has his attention. 🤔
Thank you for your comment. It goes both ways.
It goes both ways but does it. Here's how it goes. There's a problem......most likely only one side gets heard(women's) or deserves attention and only one side needs to put in work to fix it(men). If you do this, or more of that and some of this then maybe I can do what you ask
Women don’t care. They’ll get the house and kids anyway.
What are you currently doing to improve the situation?
@@HighThriveCoachingwhy should he do anything shes the one with the problem
Such a cynical response. Not all women are like that just as not all men are assholes.
@@HighThriveCoaching I got divorced and have been enjoying life with a wide range of women over the past 20 years. Marriage, like its ugly stepsister divorce, is for women.
Until the laws change its always the guys fault no matter what
Thank you for commenting. This is just an example. It goes both ways.
My husband is the one that doesn't want it. Meanwhile, he falls for every woman put there, and he loses his mind over giant breast. We have no kids and have been together over 25 years now and I still love him but don't feel as if he loves me. I can't bring it up because then he gets angry and then calls me an addict. I can count the number of times per year 😢 I desire it but he prefers his hand. I know he just wants another woman and is tired of me. I'm so depressed and gave up having kids to stay with him. 💔 I feel so alone and I feel like the same thing would happen if I got into a new relationship. I guess some people get tired of their partners. 😢He says he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful, yet he won't be intimate with me. He is brutally honest and even told me he was aroused by a random woman at the store and asked me to hide his erection. 😢 He is so nice to everyone else and takes out his anger and unhappiness on me, and then people tell me how lucky I am to have such a good man. He even says he is perfect cause he hasn't cheated on me yet.
He doesn't want you as a woman. He wants you as a friend. It has nothing to do with busty women....he no longer wants you sexually. You literally have a BEST FRIEND not a man who wants you romantically. It's time to end this relationship
This is my lofe but my wife wanted kids I didn't. I had them with her and she has che ked out now like she got what she wanted so now I'm not an option just a statue now. I don't wanna cheat but it's definitely getting close because even when I raise it she get annoyed or passed off.
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Just find a good lover. She is asking for it by her behavior.
Just stay single my dudes. Unless ur rich she dosent want you 😂
me, an asexual: yeah no
What is the biggest challenge you are facing right now in your marriage?
@@HighThriveCoaching i’m not married lmfao
again, i’m asexual
never felt sexual attraction in my life, never will
@@indigo-arts same
Then don't date people who are sexual.
@@emilylednicky6718 i don’t plan to 🤩‼️
Damn right a sexless marriage cannot be a happy one so the guy better get busy 😊
Always the mans fault isn't it?
Or maybe they‘re just asexual
For the first 17 years, we had sex one or two times a year. The last 15 years 0 times.
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Ah yes its always the mans fault.
We’re fat and can’t 😢
There’s always dieting and working out? Y’all can do it ✅
@@dorinevanoomstrong7313 I did and gained it all back. I’m 52 bad knees, bad back and a late night sugar addict so I’ve surrendered.
@@blackeverything1118 Good for you on losing the weight once! There’s always a way back to losing the weight again if you want to. The option is always there if you want it. Don’t give up!
@@dorinevanoomstrong7313 You’re too kind! 🙏🏾
@@blackeverything1118 🌸 I believe in you. Don’t give up on life. It still has so much to offer you 🌸 You can do it!
Or some people just dont have high sex drives?? Or maybe theyve had a long day and just arent feeling it. Have some proper communication if its become that big of an issue. Find a balance with your partner.. Get yourself something from Adam and Eve and get over it.
Masturbation is NOT a replacement for sex within marriage. Get over it. Yes, people do get tired and go through times they just don't feel like it - but when that extends to years and decades - it's simply dysfunctional.
💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
Comment deleted
What other actions are you taking to improve the situation?
@@Firebourn94 if that's actually true (and it's rarely ever the full truth but alas) she doesn't deserve you.
@@Firebourn94 interpunction please
@@lukaskuipers7791 And this is why men don't express themselves you couldn't signify at least from the capiral letters I opened up and shared my pain and this is the response punctuation please
@@Firebourn94 I'm sure you expected me to fix your marriage as a youtube commenter so apologies for not living up to the hype
If you need someone to talk to about this stuff go talk to your friends or a marriage councellor or something. I wasn't even rude to you yet here you are acting like a kid.
It yall women. What man is rejecting sex?
It goes both ways, Ceasar.
They expect you to believe that men and women are equal and the same.
We are not the same sexually.
Women want sex, but their desire for it is cyclical. They don’t have 20x the amount of testosterone coursing through their veins and bathing their brains 24/7.
If they did, prostitution would be a federally funded entitlement for women.
Besides if women wanted sex even half as much as men do, humans would have overpopulated and starved to death millennia ago.
It’s ok that women don’t want sex as frequently as men do. It’s a feature not a defect or bug.
But we have so many women trying to blow sunshine up men’s asses.
When in truth wives not bedding their husbands IS the message.
A woman not prioritizing sexual intimacy with her husband IS telling him exactly how she views him, which is pretty much the same as another girlfriend.
But if we don’t frame this as 50% wives rejecting husbands AND 50% husbands rejecting wives, well that is not femcorrect, and they are gonna *feel* sad about it and about you, and even mad that you’re not being nice and cooperative with their wholesale denial.
Also, remember theirs is the correct perspective. Husbands have to negotiate and haggle sexual desire with their wives. Never mind the rosters of men who came before him (literally), with no conditions from her whatsoever, nothing was vetoed including anal.
They don’t want to talk about that because she’s married now, and done with the fun and games.
It’s time to be serious and for him to be patient, and not demanding or controlling. And he better shape up or else, mister 😂
Got it, it’s always the man’s fault. What tripe
It applies to both sides.
Nothing like a youngster preaching to an oldster.
Sometimes there's a sexless marriage because your married to a narcissist who is with holding sex/intimacy for control.
Exactly.
I guess they don't care if the other person cheats on them!
The good news is, there’s no way to fix the problem. Just live out your days based on someone else’s decision to celebacy.
There is! What's the main problem you are having with your spouse?
Exactly. Modern women get ran through in their 20s, get all the dicks they can and retire from it all after amassing mad amount of baggage and finding a nice guy to dump it all onto
Underrated comment
So it's the man's fault? Got it.
No that’s not what I intended… this was just an example it goes both ways for sure
It's always the man's fault. That's why a considerable amount of men have checked out of pursuing relationships and marriage.
Alwys😅
Always “an example” a woman’s best answer. Meanwhile, marriages continue to go through divorce and men continue to pursue happiness in other areas. Soon, there will be a shortage of Masculinity and an then, maybe just turn, woman will understand a little.
Meanwhile, lets keep blaming it on the man.
@@darinoutdoorsyup just an "example" of a blame and deflection tactic used by women around the world
If a woman isn’t sleeping with you she is getting it from somewhere else
I wish this was true 🤣.
Yeah but let's be real who's really turning away the sex the guy or the girl so who's really the problem
@@annabanzon313you must be tryna give him some undesirable bcuz yes we do say nah I’m good at times. But when we ready don’t say no😂
@@annabanzon313 nah I’m healthy asF we visual
I for one don’t want to share my body with someone who doesn’t speak kindly to me or support me when I’m struggling. Relationships are equally as emotional as they are sexual, if you can’t provide half the equation, then why should someone continually meet your needs while theirs go unmet.
Allways the mans fault.
Explain this to me when you're dating you go at it like rabbits then when the women gets the ring on and then the excess began.
Strange there were no excuses when you were in the early dating bit
Sorry, it goes both ways.
@HighThriveCoaching
I don't get what you mean.
In my experience and in a lot of friends I know end up in divorce because of this reason is allways down to the woman rejecting the man
@@seanmann7278it goes bith ways. You see, here are in a comment section more and more woman (so as me) express that they are in a sexless marriage/relationship. It is not genderissue.
I was in a sexless marriage at the end , and, let me tell you... it was like a slow agonizing psychological death, ended up sleeping in the living room for years before I finally left. Sex had gone down to , maybe once every 4-6 months. My ex kept making excuses, she's tired, or ..im rushing her, or ...she's not wet, so she's turned off!. or.. im tired of the same positions! I would've offed myself for real if i hadn't turn to porn, but that just made things even worse. My advice?.. definitely don't get married, most will regret it
If i didn’t have a daughter with her, i would give all my savings just to be released from that nightmare 😓
In the same situations as you guys are in. Haven't had sex in over a year, I'm only 27 and we have a daughter together. But we are not married just engaged and I don't think we are going to get married I told her and anyone that asks when I'm going to marry her that I'm not unless something changes because husband and wife have sex with each other that is what they do in a healthy relationship, why would I marrry her if I'm not even having sex with her. She claims she doesn't know what it is she just doesn't have the drive/desire for sex anymore. So I told her to talk to her doctor and ask some questions because it is either something hormonal or she just isn't sexually attracted to me anymore and if that's the case then I might as well find someone else that is🤷🏻
@@Kloka777shes not attracted to you. Leave
Marriage is guaranteed destruction for men. Especially with modern women who want all the traditional values in a man but offer nothing traditional (or anything else) in return
If she refuses, her option, just leave
I'm hardly on my phone when I talk to her she has her phone on her face every time
It was just an example. It goes both ways.
@@HighThriveCoaching🤡☝️
@@HighThriveCoaching🤡🤡🤡
She wasn't talking about you
@@NWOResistance most mature red piller:
I am in a sexless marriage. The last time I had sex with my wife was 39 years ago. She had a tumor down there and when they got done removing everything, she has no desire for sex. This coming spring we will have been married for 50 years. For better or for worst, in sickness and in health.
I sure hope you were able to have sex with other women since she wouldn't. At the end of the day men need sex
50??? Wow
Am 39 years old....your situation is insanity
Ok
Does her mouth not work?
No wonder my husband spoke so well about me. My husband died of covid 19 in 2020. We were together almost 18 years. Our sex life was amazing. We made love almost everyday.
No matter what we were having it, unless i was on my cycle or when i had our four kids. We women need to first choose our men with our heart and brain from the beginning.
Then keep our sex lives alive and burning. I'm 45 single since my husband died three years now aomost four years ago. We have four kids, we all needed time to grief. When i date again, lucky enough to find someone again, will take bio identical hormones or whatever i need in order to perform in the bedroom.
To me keep the passion alive is super important.
One of the main things that kept our marriage so excellent. Ladies go to the doctor, therapy etc
Men need and express their love, making love.❤
Appreciate your comment!
And…..she never says a thing to him about how exactly she feels. She tells her friends and anyone else, but not him.
Appreciate your comment. This is just an example. It goes both ways. :-)
This happens more often to men then it does women so please reevaluate this statement sorry facts don't care about your feelings
24 years relationship 12 years dead first stent and going on 2 years now I’m been don but I can’t afford child support so I have 4 more years to go 🤷♂️
My bf never initiates sex with me. He has ED, but it took months for him to acknowledge it. I didn’t understand what was going on and apparently he’s had it for years. I asked him to go see a urologist, I said we can do this and find the solution. He keeps postponing and today when I said that my body feels like a dried out desert he said: “well what’s wrong with that? That’s okay.” Like are you kidding me?? I told him : I am not going to be in a sexless relationship. Please go to the urologist, I love you but don’t make this a non-priority, because it is a priority to me, I want to be intimate with you. Do you want to be intimate with me?” . He said yes. And he said he will go. Let’s see how this goes.
Thank you for sharing, Dorine! Hope it goes well.
It's highly treatable. Buy him Viagra or Cialis (it's the first line treatment that urologists usually would prescribe). It works.
@@longjiewang9818 thank you. He has Cialis now I believe, and what a relief! He got it for the GP. He has low testosterone, so he will be seeing a urologist. I’m happy with the progress. I’m just sad that it took our relationship falling apart before my bf would take action. I’m chronically ill and it has been very stressful for 7 months because he just wouldn’t go. My health took a beating because of all the stress and drama. I also think it’s weird that some men seem to think it’s acceptable to just quietly ignore intimate problems and deprive their partners from any sexual intimacy because they don’t “feel like seeing a doctor”. Women have needs too and I was shocked at how unimportant my bf thought my needs were.
@@dorinevanoomstrong7313 I'm glad to hear that your bf has finally taken actions. Nowadays according to the statistics ED is a common condition that affects 50% of adult men in the UK to various extent. So no need to feel ashamed or less masculine. I think one of the reasons some men appear to think "it's unimportant for their partners" is that they may be feeling too embarrassed to face this problem and that their ego is affected by this, so they tend to avoid or evade from this issue. But it would be a shame if left untreated as it's very treatable thanks to medical development over the past decades. Just a tip, in case you and your bf are not unaware, your bf could buy the generic ED medicines, such as Sidenafil, Tadanafil and Avanafil, which is roughly 50% cheaper than its name brand Viagra, Cialis and Spedra. In addition to medications that can usually effectively treat the condition but not cure, it's also important to find out the root cause and treat relevant health conditions.
@@longjiewang9818 thank you so much for your insight and your recommendations!
It's only women who withdrawl lmaoo
It's not what Heather intended. It goes both ways for sure.
Wrong
women are always initiating sexless marriages ,open marriages
So unbelievably wrong.
not true. men can withdrawal after loss of attraction or after getting rejected too many times.
It's usually the woman who's fed up or doesn't initiate anymore sure. But have the men try to spice things up? Take the woman out on a nice dinner date? A getaway maybe? Heck, try just buying her a Sona or something similar.. that would definitely make her motors running again, guaranteed.
Sexless marriage seems okay I guess if both are into lavender marriage or it's not that important.I think it depends on the couple .
I think they're cool
Did you watch something else?
It is fine, if both doesn't want it. But this video is about couples, where one wants, and the other witholds after some times. Like my husband was into this before marriage, and after was like 'I can only do it once a month or less'.
Why is it always the husband , in my case it's my wife who doesn't want to talk or have sex
It was just an example. It does go in both ways.
@HighThriveCoaching lol the generic deflecting response " it's just an example, it goes both ways "
@@yannick6607Because it does go both ways. It’s not deflecting if it’s true. Men are not the only ones who go through this and if you thought that then you are terrible misinformed.
@@unknownperson4275this really does come off the same as when women talk about how they’ve been sexually assaulted and some guy is like “well it happens to guys too!” Yeah but it’s mostly women. And in this case it’s 90 percent of the time men who go through this.
@@LoathsomeLucifer Those are two totally different subjects. Being sexually assaulted is traumatizing. Someone refusing to have sex with you is not. You can simply find someone else. Regardless if you claim women do it more, men do this as well. Btw no one is obligated to have sex with you. Stfu and get over it. There are plenty fish in the sea smh.
In every sexless marriage I know of, including my own, it is the woman withholding sex.
Thank you for your comment. It is just an example. It goes both ways.
I’m sorry. There are women out here who have the opposite experience. No matter who is withholding…. It feels like a sort of hell.
Not witholding... they just are not as horny as you
My husband does. I LOOOOVVVEEE SEX! Like 3 times a week please. But if he is any bit tired or stressed or worn out… It’s a hard pass
Ask the reason why that happens
It stopped because she never really seemed interested and I got tired of pushing it to happen. Probably only get it another 10 time before I kick, so who cares.
on ex partner getting home i allowed for 2 or 3 hours where i was there to be talked to, either facebook was flicked through then the neighbour was visited, or some other stuff went on, so i went to gaming, where i was seen as the person who was ignoring everything .....
What have you done to improve the situation?
He’s on his phone because it doesn’t nag him, it doesn’t insist he listen to her gossip or whining, and it doesn’t criticize. It offends her, not because he’s reading something of interest, but because it has his attention. She’s jealous of his supposed relationship with an electronic device. He, on the other hand, misses the relationship he used to have with her, before things went cold.
Mic drop
Ding ding ding. Close the phone lines, we have a winner...
That's dumb
This post is advocates men check out of their marriages. If a marriage is sick, two ppl are sick.
@@MsSnubut only one person and HER feelings matter at the end of the day.
In a healthy marraige you *want * to have sex. If the psycological health of the marraige is good the sexual health will be also.
Yes...Right Again
Sounds miserable af for the guy… maybe more sex would help
Sometimes the psychological health deteriorates as a result of no sex or live in a marriage.
No sex is just a symptom of the underlying problem
Not neccesarily
That is the woman’s take on a healthy relationship. A man’s take on a healthy relationship doesn’t put six first. It puts everything else in the relationship first.
I am an old man, I can say from my experience, and I have personally seen this to be the only truth. A woman who has sand where water once flowed, can only be made moist again, once she has the cash and prizes from the sucker she divorces
I beg to differ. Most wife’s love their husbands. We want to feel appreciated and loved. Sex is important but it isn’t everything.
@@daisyx1002 I can only speak from a lifetime of experience, and the experiences of my family and friends. It’s true, some woman do desire their husbands, for a short time, then it becomes duty, then nothing. Love is a feeling, feelings fade, women leave. It’s just life.
Thank you for checking out the video. And it goes both ways.
@@andysteward8617love is not sex
@@HighThriveCoachingstatistically women are leaving marriages at a rate of 80%…90% if college educated. So I beg to differ. It doesn’t really go both ways. It’s pretty one sided statistically.
It’s the women who check out, first. I am not happy, I have food, a car, insurance, I need my mother to move in with the 4 kids and take all of my time once you return from working 50 hours a week. Note, she cooks 4 times a month.
Yes. It goes both ways.
I cook, clean, supported him but found out he is into prostitutes. I have babies so I won’t leave. Maybe I’m too comfortable by now or maybe I just stopped loving him as well . I miss being loved by a man😢
@@anjafernandez758What have you done already to reconnect with your spouse?
The overwothdrawing of accounts happens in college with all those escapades from strangers. Then the husband pays for 10x more than what others withdrew for free.
Blah, blah, 99% of the time it's just the woman not fulfilling her marriage obligations. Don't put the problem on the men
This may sound stupid, but I think sex is often given up in exchange for peace. I keep thinking back to the quote that young men chase pussy, older men chase peace.
No I want pussssy and that brings me peace😂
That’s my situation…. I wish I had surrendered sooner. The peace is well worth it.
A sex less life is super powerful and monks live their life without even thinking about sex all their lives and they are the best people in this planet i know lot of monks in real life
I am extreme mgtow no sex for life no talking to women and not helping women even in survival situation.
Take away the material things and the kids and all you have is each other. You should want to spend time together and sex is the most free and intimate thing you can share. If you are not interested that is a big problem and it’s going to break especially for younger people. Women who say they are tired and not interested all of a sudden get interested when they are divorced. Single guys are banging them all the time but don’t want to marry them. It your guy is decent you better hang on to them. If women want to stay married they need to be a loving partner and not become a kid or sister. He already has kids and sisters. I divorced my 1st wife as I got sick and tired of her being a child and not a wife. I fooled around a bit but then met a real winner and we are are going on 12 years now.
I would leave with only the clothes on my back just to be with someone that wants me. After over a 22 year marriage.
A sexless marriage is damaging only if we still expect sex or intimacy from the spouse.
Now that we know it is no longer available and spouse does not care, time to be selfish, catch other fish and dont give a fish.
OK never been married but the majority of gf’s I’ve had check out after 6-9 months; a few even got psycho on me! Imagine if I’d married one of them! At some point you either think all women are bitches or that I am somehow to blame. After hearing the same old reply, “Is sex all you think about,” I did some research on the causes of female withdrawal. I found that perhaps it was my fault as I failed to ever do 4 of the 5 things that can be done to rekindle a sex-free marriage: tell her you love her often, tell her she’s still beautiful often, touch her outside of the bedroom (kissing included), avoid getting into a routine. Although I remained attentive to her, I never noticed I was neglecting HER needs. Yeah I work a lot (55-60 hours/week) but I could break the routine if I really wanted to. Well now that I know better I sure wish I could meet somebody; I’ve been alone for a decade now!
I love that you are now aware of how you could be a better boyfriend for them…. But maybe they didn’t want to be just a place to put it. They wanted a marriage: a friend , a partner and a lover that shared more than sex. Sex is great, work is great, but what about the other hours of the day? God is good, he I am sure would love to give you a wonderful wife, but maybe you need to learn even more how to be a wonderful husband. Blessings my internet friend. I wish you well.
@@imaamericangirl1406 you are kind but you do not understand. I’m not talking about sex all the time. I’m talking about not even getting any at all for months at a time. That is ridiculous and any female who doesn’t understand that should get a dog instead of a man. And sure there was a gal I stuck with off and on for 3 years. Being a single mother in a big city, the doctor prescribed pills which basically kept her high. These caused wild mood swings and I put up with it because I cared about her; I even did nice things for her kids. Then her daughter got pregnant, dropped out of HS, and moved in with her 22 yr old bf. When my girl went to see her grandchild, her daughter told her no druggies could touch her child. So she checked into a rehab and got off everything. The woman that emerged was a saint and I was absolutely smitten; I would have gladly married her! But she said no, mainly because I reminded her of her old life. I was crushed but eventually I got over it. Then I went 6 years before I found another girl. I broke up with her because she was stupid. Sure she was nice and liked making love but I NEED someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation!
Yup that’s me this my hubbys account I couldn’t get into my TH-cam for some reason I’m emotionally withdrawn at this point, I have told him before and at this point I don’t want to work on it anymore it’s whatever at this point just waiting on the right time to leave or not if it gets worse
I'm in a 10 year relationship and haven't had sex in 5 of the 10 with them. He rejected me so much I Gave up trying
Maybe she talks too much,maybe he had a long day and just wants to watch TV
Message to all men, if you don’t do it someone else is. If you’re wife leaves you starving in the dessert like that. Just divorce. The next tip is when you divorce you should go through with it! The only way the woman infront of you will know your worth. Is when you benefit another persons benefit, and they’ll try EVERYTHING to get your back. And as soon as your „stuck“ again, the whole game starts from the beginning. I can promise you if it’s you don’t earn enough for us the first time it’s „you don’t prioritize me“ the second time. You can’t win! Women punish men for being in a boring relationship. It’s better for a man to be wild than stable!
Your gay
@highthrivecoach you're a bit of a hypocrite. Why is it that you reply with this generic " it's just an example , it goes both ways" to defend women, but then you ask the men " what have you tried to improve the situation " ?. So its mens' fault if their spouses don't want to be intimate ?
We ask this to women as well. What are they trying to do to salvage their marriage and know what more we can do to help you best.
I noticed that too 😂
It sad for me as a man because my wife understands that I am only a shell of what it could be to her but because she won't make any attempts and says nothing but no she gets exactly what she puts in in that sad and very hurtful and I'm at the end of my rope I feel like there's no hope for this and a question if emotionally she really loves me or not there's no question that I love her but I feel utterly worthless to her nothing but a tenant roommate situation and I cry all the time while she is asleep
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This is me with my husband. It's a cold lonely marriage, cry whilst he's sleeping and think to our vows and weigh up whether it's worth staying or leaving
F her..its time to leave her and find a new wife. When she signed up for marriage, she understood her responsibility to have sex and please her husband and keep him satisfied.
No marriage
No cohabitation
Juice isnt worth the squeeze gents
No men at all. The sex isn't worth the emotional distress.
Men’s strength is not being emotionally supportive of women. Men’s strength is to be logical and be a provider of protection and reasonable encouragement of others to meet their highest potential. Women who whine and say he needs to be more emotional and listen to my problems are on woodenly asking to be married to men who are emotionally castrated. These women need to stop expecting men to abandon their masculinity and turn into their girlfriends. Ladies if you need to talk call one of your girlfriends. Men do not want to talk about problems endlessly. They are not drama queens. If you end up with a man who actually conforms to these pressures and becomes your place to dump all your emotional issues in essence your therapist then you’ll eventually despise him and disrespecting because he will have to lose his masculine energy to do so
Fk this masculine energy nonsense. Men after 40 years old need viagra. 50 percent need viagra. Of a man is not their for me emotionally then a divorce should take place. Simple. 70% of divorce is done by women.
Boom...
Based..
Such an ignorant comment encouraging dysfunction in men. And based on your reasoning Jesus must not be the man then and definitely not the role model for men because he cared about women's pains, tears and comforted them, he listens and comforts all of us and wants men to love like he does.
So who should we listen to in regards to how men should behave, you or Jesus?
Also marriage isn't all about what men want, men have to ensure they meet their wives' needs, love them like their own bodies, and women should do the same.
It's selfishness to say it's not men's strength to be emotionally supportive of women therefore let's dismiss it because who cares what women need ?
What do you think would happen if men were told the same things about their needs in marriage? You seem to have a man centered view of marriage that is getting men divorced, and rightfully so.
And furthermore, your girlfriends probably need to tell married women like you who bring them their marital problems that they don't want to hear them.
It's not their fault if you didn't marry a decent person who doesn't think it's not too much to ask to just listen to the person who has been with him through thick and thin
@@theironson1043 Based on ignorance. Men should be compassionate and caring towards their wives' suffering , that's what men do. And i doubt you are more masculine than Jesus who acted this way towards women and asked men to love women just like he loves
Blue balls makes you checkout
Would be nice to get a solution
So…being intentional and initiating sex would do wonders for making emotional deposits in the relationship “bank account “. Sometimes you have to act because the relationship needs it, regardless if you or the other are “ in the mood”. Of course it needs to be consensual.
Appreciate your comment.
Always the males fault? Yeah right
Hey there. This is just an example. It goes both ways.
He's on his phone and don't give a damn. Cause the way she withholds for no reason...
What are you currently doing to improve the situation?
@@HighThriveCoaching leaving..have tried listening, holding, non sexual intimacy of all kinds. Help with everything show her appreciation and literally
When my wife and I got together (3yrs ago) she already had a 15yr old and a 9 yr old... not quite 3 yrs later we got a 17yr old, a 11 yr old, a 2yr old, a 3 month old... so in thr last 2 yrs I'm batting 1000% so we are afraid to kiss at the moment... lol
Check out!
we are in a sexless marriage but it doesn’t mean i dont love him or he doesnt love me we are approaching our aging/companionship/best-friend era i still hug kiss him and pray with him but we dont feel the urge to do it but we enjoy movies, trips and just being together. glad we enjoy sex on our younger years tho, marriage is a partnership everything that you use to do change but what ever it is do it together until the end..
Appreciate your comment! Wishing you the very best!
Clearly you don't know how men function but it's only about how you feel right? Genuinely pop the question to him if he wants it do a little prying and he will light up like a puppy,
@@risevision1080 lol sex purpose is not relieving your self of lust the main purpose of sex is reproduction if couple do it without intention of having kids they might do it with multiple partners..we are working from home and always together we are contented with it and spend lots of time traveling out of town with our children and spend most of our free time talking and beer and watching anime it depends on the couple but we are blessed to stay together for 16 yrs and still joyful…its all about finding peace with one another
@@risevision1080 sex vs intimacy.. some people having sex but fight a lot because they’re relationship is pure sexual. being intimate with your partner is having a very close relationship with her attending to her needs help her,supporting her loving her with all you have and accepting her flaws and vice versa the key is to find the perfect person who fit into your life and will give you peace and security.
@@spontaneouscat6791 Look how you say "supporting her" where's his mental and emotional support? You're really blinding yourself! All sexless marriages are detrimental too men! Men are very good at hiding emotions everyone knows that! He's doing it because he loves you but I bet you anything he's miserable and slowly deteriorating on the Inside, look it up! You literally just said it "support her" completely ignoring his feelings and his support! Men have emotions to, it's not about the sexual part either, men overthink too! He's probably thinking he wasn't good enough or he couldn't turn you on and you lost interest in him sexually! Especially if he gained weight that's a sign of depression he let himself go! Men are like dogs men are loyal until the end and will give everything to satisfy you! Look at any sexless marriage and it's all initiated by women and look at how chronically depressed men become without physical affection! Men are simple creatures nowhere near as emotionally intelligent or complex as women, but you just proved it's all about how women feel then the "relationships where you support her" then talk about it being peaceful and prosperity? It's all about women and women wonder why men are walking away from marriage, you all lack empathy and only care that you're benefitted from the relationship, men sacrifice mental health and security to make sure you're happy. I guarantee you if you ask him for the deed he will light up like a puppy, you know it and I know it. Men are simple creatures
Fokof
She said, she wants to “connect” with me, and I always trying to be open and talk, but after a gallbladder surgery and a tooth implant …. I don’t see any “activity” in the next year. She didn’t have any interest to flirt, or any interest on even have a physical touch (Hugh’s, kisses, etc, etc ) ….CERO!!!! I’m very desperate… I’m in a sexless relationship the last 5 years and now I feel like a roommate or a “friend zone husband”. HELP!
Sounds familiar because you first forget Ace people exist and will likely not wish to have sex. That "not being heard" issue is due to poor communication. And things need to be talked out politely to another. Not because they are not having enough sex. Sex is just *one part* of marriages.
And there's also Aromantics that have sex with thier partners. But aren't married. Etc.
Ace people should not trap heterosexual people into long term relationships without consent. Getting married and then deciding you are asexual is cruel and selfish. Just like someone who is gets married, has kids and then says - you now must be celibate because I have decided I am gay. Doesn't work that way.
Sounds just like a narcissist relationship that I ended ... In order to start living .... 😵💫😵💫😵💫😳😳😳🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🌹🌹🤗💯
Yeah True im not merry
Women withdrawal not men
Asking for a friend:
My friend wants to heal her marriage but has a lot of trauma that prevents her from opening up to her husband the way she wants to. For example, her husband violently beat her for three years... One night after throwing glass bottles at her, slamming her into walls, pushing her down the stairs and throwing furniture down after her, he pulled out a gun on her and said he was going to kill her, so she hid from him until the next day. She stayed with him through all of this, because she loved him. The next time he started to beat her, she left, because she thought he might actually kill her. She hid at family's house and while he was drunk driving all over town trying to find her, he slid off the road, totalled her car, went to jail, and got an oui. The beatings stopped while he was on probation, but he since has started becoming more physically aggressive with her again.
They have since had a son, and he has hurt the child on two occasions as well. The first time, he threw a toy at her from across the room and it instead hit their baby in the head, leaving a large red bump where the toy hit. The second time, she was nursing their toddler to sleep and he lunged across the bed at her, choked her snd held her down while yelling at her, while at the same time he was on top of their child who was now awake and screaming...
How do you suggest she navigates this issue, when she wants to love him and be there for him and give him what he needs, but at the same time feels afraid of saying or doing anything around him because she might trigger a negative reaction?
And this is the opposite of what happens daily.
It goes both ways. What's going on in your marriage currently?
I was divorced due to my husband deciding he was “asexual”. I felt like I was gross.
We're sorry to know about what happened. Wishing you the very best.
Most women use asexual to get away from sex. Most men feel powerless, shamed and gross as a result.
😂😂
Asexual is gay 😂
I agree with the overall point, but it's almost always the woman who checks out.
She isn't talking about which sex checks out at all
It was just an example!!! Both man and woman do it.
what abt ace ppl
They need to go to a doctor, there is most likely physiological problem.
@@imaamericangirl1406do you know what asexual is?
Lol this is some modern take ..sex is actually for reproducing, sex for pleasure has nothing but negative side effects for men in reality
I totally agree men need sex.. what i dont understand is why would my husband not understand that i need emotionally available man.. am okay with sex as long as its not just a physical act... He's never made me feel important in his life.. hes hurt me more and i always kept forgiving.. i tried for 6yrs and nothings ever changed.. i cry when am alone all the time.. never in this 6yrs of marriage has he ever supported me.. i have always felt alone. I have talked this and he says at 30 yrs u want romance??!? In order to have sex???
Am a human being and i married to have some companionship but reality is am so alone in this marriage.
He may be in a sexless marriage, am guilty. But i have been in this lloveless marriage and its so painful. I would let him go if he want to... If he can have sex and b happy with someone else. I just dont want someone who is 50% there and no emotional availability.
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Sex is the only thing that matters in a relationship. No sex. No relationship.